The Simpsons/Season 21

For other uses of "The Simpsons", see The Simpsons (disambiguation).

The Simpsons season 21.


Homer the WhopperEdit

Marth: All right what's our next big summer franchise. Come on.
OWW Films Executive #1: You want an original idea?
Marth: Yes. Let your imaginations run free. Something that's never been a movie before, but feels like it has.
OWW Films Executive #2: Extension Cords!
OWW Films Executive #3: Mixed Nuts!
OWW Films Executive #4: Car WASH
Marth: Nah. We've already made that could possibly be a movie, into a great movie. There's nothing left.
[Marth's son, Jono, enters through the door to Marth's left.]
Jono: Dad, can we go? I've watched all the DVDs in the Bentley.
Marth: Jono, what's that in your hand?
Jono: Oh. Big surprise that you don't know what this is. It's only Everyman. The coolest comic book ever.
[Marth takes the comic book and reads through a few pages.]
Marth: What are his powers?
Jono: All of them.
Marth: That's it! Our next big summer movie will be Everyman!
OWW Films Executive #4: Uh, Marth? Ginormous Pictures bought the rights to Everyman three weeks ago.
[Marth throws the comic onto the table in frustration.]
Marth: Damnit!

Comic Book Guy: You are acceptable.
Homer: Great, do you wanna see me naked?
GP Executive #1: Oh there's no nudity in this movie.
Homer: What movie?

Bart Gets a 'Z'Edit

The Great Wife HopeEdit

Lisa: This goes against every feminist bone in my body, but Dad, can't you control your woman?
Homer: How can I control her? I have nothing to withhold.

Marge: Call me a killjoy, but I think that because this is not to my taste, no one else should be able to enjoy it.

[Watching Marge's fight on TV]
Moe: Come on, come on, get back on your feet, I believe in you!
Barney: (climbing the bar from the tavern floor) I'm doing it Moe!
Moe: Not you.
Barney: Oh thank god! – the pressure's off. (falls back down)

Homer: Out of all the stupidest things I've ever done, this is the stupidest. And you're doing it!

Homer: She found my one weakness... that I'm weak!

Homer: Carl, do you know heavyweight champion, Drederick Tatum?
Carl: What, you think just because I'm black I know all other black people?!
Homer:, well, uh.
Carl: Actually, Drederick and I are very good friends. We met through Dr. Hibbert at a party at Bleeding Gums Murphy's house.

Treehouse of Horror XXEdit

We now see Kent Brockman outside Burger Squared
Kent Brockman: I'm here at Krustyburger for the launch of the highly anticipated "Burger Squared." Krusty, what can you tell us about this fantastic new sandwich?
Krusty: I'm glad you asked, Kent. We start with Grade A beef, feed that to other cows, then kill them and serve the unholy results on a seven-grain bun. Burger Squared!
Homer: The math checks out!
Lisa: Cows eating cows?! That's an abomination!
Marge: Now, Lisa, you're a vegetarian, but these cows have made a different choice.
Kent Brockman: And now, this lucky reporter will be the first human to sample this delicious crime against nature. Mmm. Juicy, flavorful, with just a hint of... [changes into a Muncher and takes a bite out of Krusty's elbow]
Krusty: Hey! That's my check-cashing arm, you stupid... [Krusty also becomes a Muncher. Kent kills a camera technician and then kills the camera man]

Twenty-eight days later, Springfield's inhabitants have all succumbed to the cow virus and are eating or infecting everyone else who is not a Muncher

Moe: A little tip... you might want to wash me before you eat me.
Barney: All right!
Carl: Yeah, you better!
Lenny: Thank you.

Marge: (Gasps) Bart ate a tainted burger!
Homer: I'll bash him with this book!
Lisa: Dad, No! That's the last book in the world!
Homer: Really?
Lisa: Yes! It's... Oh, Go ahead.

Homer: To the panic room!
Marge: We don't have a panic room.
Homer: To the panic room store!

Rainer Wolfcastle: Come with me if you want to live! [is devoured by a mob of zombies]
Homer: Another politician who can't keep his promises.

Marge: What kind of civilized people eat the body and blood of their savior!? [Camera pans to Reverend Lovejoy nervously fidgeting with his Clerical collar.]

Kodos: This is the best musical in light years.
Kang: Light years measure distance, not time.
Kodos: You know what I meant.

Moe: I just have to warn you, Marge.
My taste for romance is kinda perverse.
I can only make love in the back of a hearse
and I have to be dressed as a Civil War nurse.
And then when I'm finished, I'll go through your purse!
But you could do worse.
Marge: I could do worse.
Barney, Carl, and Lenny: We're proof that you could do worse.
Homer: She couldn't possibly do worse!

The Devil Wears NadaEdit

Homer: Ye-bonjour!
Carl: Homer, there's a moth in my room. Where are you?
Homer: Where I should have been all along. In Springfield.
Carl: What? Get back to the Eternal City of Lights at once or you're fired!
Homer: Oh, I don't think so. You know that woman you've been playing "hide the baguette" with? She's French first lady Carla Bruni. You fire me, and I'll call Nicolas Sarkozy, and he'll be all over you like Truffaut on Hitchcock.
Carl: You wouldn't dare!
Homer: Oh, wouldn't I? Just listen! (dials other cell phone)
President Nicholas Sarkozy: (on phone) Allo, you are getting cozy with Sarkozy.
Carl: All right, Homer, you win. Give Marge my best.
Homer: I will, but first, I'll be giving her mine.

Homer:[about Marge and Ned having an affair]: My wife and my worst friend. Could it be?

Marge: The most intimate evening we spent this week was when I was ironing your shirts.
Homer: Actually, those were Carl's shirts.

Ned: I'm not thinking straight, why did I have that wine cooler last month?

Rod: We thought you were gonna die.
Tod: And then Uncle Kevin would have to raise us.
Rod: And his funny friend, David.
Ned: Oh I'd put rocks in your pocket and walk you out to sea for before I'd let that happen.
Rod and Tod: Yay!

Marge: You two are going out? I thought I told you the Flanders were coming over for dinner.
Lisa: I'm having a tea party at Janey's.
Bart: And I'm having a stink bomb party at the house next to Janey's... no connection.

Bart: Stop dragging me! When I get older I'm gonna drag you around and buy you clothes.
Marge: Oh, that's wonderful!

Lenny: I'm gonna miss Ted, he was a good supervisor.
Carl: Definitely hands off. He didn't mind if we punched in late, or not at all.
Homer: And he didn't mind that we made a few changes to the soda machine... mmm... beer.

Pranks and GreensEdit

Homer: Marge, what are you doing?
Marge: This junk food has got to go. It's full of chemicals, trans fats, and hard pore corn.

Rednecks and BroomsticksEdit

Homer: Oh, for cryin' out! I hate traffic, the band, and the phenomena!

[On the kid's 'Bonk It' toy]
Homer: Hey kids, it's daddy's turn. Stomp it! Crush it! Kill it!

Homer: Ohhh, why do my actions have consequences?

Brandy: Drink up,sweetie. Let the possum work its magic.
Brandy: Oh, don't worry. We don't kill it. We just dip it.

Moe: Oh, it's no good, you're just a load of spineless weasels!

(the townspeople turn round and come to a halt)

Comic Book Guy: Kill the weasel hater!

(everyone runs after Moe)

Moe: (laughing as he runs) See, that's what I'm talking about!

Cletus: Brandy?! Where's the bazook?![Looks at his son,holding the bazooka.] Aw, he's gonna shoot them Google Earth folks that caught me with my britches down.

Cletus: Oh for God's-! You know, one hillbilly has his way with one fat guy in Deliverance, and suddenly people think that's all hillbillies do!

O Brother, Where Bart Thou?Edit

[Homer is extolling the virtues of girls over boys.]
Homer: Girls are easy! Girls love daddy, girls give birthday cards with glitter and sprinkles, and I don't have to tell them how their bodies work 'cause I don't know!
Bart: You never told me how my body works.
Homer: Point and shoot.

Bart: Are you sure this will work?
Milhouse: Hey, this is the DVD my parents used to make me.
Bart: So it kind of works.

Thursdays with AbieEdit

Marshall: So many hat boxes!

Once Upon a Time in SpringfieldEdit

Milhouse: First girls ruin Sex in the City, and now this!

Mr. Burns: We have to cut costs.
Lenny: But we have way more expensive unnecessaries than doughnuts.
Carl: Yeah, like the ceiling furniture.
Lenny: And all the joke ID badges we ordered.
Mr. Burns: No doughnuts!
Lenny: No!
Homer: D'oh!
Carl: Nuts!
Mr. Burns: Exactly!

Million Dollar MaybeEdit

Reverend Lovejoy: And now Valerie and Dave will deliver their own vows, because my vows, apparently, weren't good enough. Show me how it's done Dave.

Boy Meets CurlEdit

Carl: Homer, you don't look fat.
Homer: Oh, Carl. You're a liar, but I love it.

Marge: I'm not a dude, I'm a hottie.
Homer: This bromance just got interesting.

Lisa: What is this, tough love?
Bart: It's a little more like "soft hate".

Homer: Ooh, you're hot when you're horny.
Marge: I'm not horny. I'm mad.
Homer: Ooh, you're mad when you're angry.

The Color YellowEdit

Eliza: Follow me north to freedom.
Virgil: I don't think so.
Eliza: Why? Because I'm young and I'm a woman?
Virgil: No. Because you're pointing south.

Postcards from the WedgeEdit

Lisa: You are now officially a sociopath.
Bart: Hey, at least I'm on a path.

Stealing First BaseEdit

Marge: Why didn't you just tell him to club her on her head and drag her into a cave?
Grampa Simpson: You mean second base? He's a little young for that.

Ralph: I cheated the wrong way! I wrote the Lisa name and gave the Ralph answers!

The Greatest Story Ever D'ohedEdit

Lisa: [about Flanders] I think he's trying to get Dad into heaven.
Bart: Great, more hell for me!

Krusty: I am trying to save myself from going to Hell.
Lisa: Jews don't believe in Hell.
Krusty: No Hell! Thank you kid, you made my day.(heads over to the Gaza Strip Club)

Homer: I am the Messiah, come to save the world! Look upon me and shudder!
Bart: I already do that.

[In Homer's vision, he sees the characters from VeggieTales. Homer starts to cry.]
Larry the Cucumber: You have been chosen, Homer.
Homer: Chosen to be what, oh mighty Gerkin!?

American History X-cellentEdit

Burns: Grab your scripts, people. We open in twenty minutes. Break a leg! (to a passing man) I said break a leg! (the man takes a hammer and hits the knee of his right leg, which cracks) For God's sake, man, it's a figure of speech! You're fired. (the man hobbles offscreen)

Bart: I am so glad I'm not your kid.
Lisa: Well I'm so glad I'm not your mom.
Bart: You should be. If I was in your tummy, I'd poo in your throat.
Lisa: Eww, eww, eww! I'll never get that image out of my head!

Homer: Yeah, the war's over and the future won. The past never had a chance man.

Chief of HeartsEdit

Bart: [to several boys at Dylan's party] Hey dinks. What you're dweebing?
Boy 1: [scoffs] You don't know Battle Ball?
Boy 2: It's a Japanense card game based on a cartoon, based on an ancient religion, based on a candy bar.
Boy 3: It makes Digimon look like Pokémon.
Bart: What?! Impossible!

Bart: [To Ralph] How'd a pull-up like you get a great card like that?
Ralph: My not-dead grandma sent it from Tokyo.
Bart: Ralph, I'll play you for that card.
Ralph: Okay, but if I win, you have to teach me how to play this game.
Bart: Deal!

The Squirt and the WhaleEdit

Homer: Lisa, get the car out.
Lisa: But I don't know how to drive.
Homer: Haven't you learned anything from watching Bart drive? Now go.
(Homer and Marge continue to talk with sounds of a car being pulled up in the background)

To Surveil With LoveEdit

Queen Elizabeth II: I miss that Ralph Wiggum. Reminds me of my boy.
Prince Charles: Mummy, my cat's breath smells like cat food.

Moe Letter BluesEdit

Moe: (in letter): "There is no easy way to say goodbye forever, so I'll say it in the hardest way I can... Mandarin Chinese."

The Bob Next DoorEdit

Homer: Alright buddy, I'm gonna do to you what you should've done to my son a long time ago!

Bart: Y'know, the great ones can kill without explaining.
Sideshow Bob: I can stand in one state, fire a gun in the second state, the bullet will travel through the third, hitting you in the fourth, so you'll fall down dead in the fifth! No single act is against any law, but their sum total is the greatest murder since Snape killed Dumbledore!
Bart Simpson: Oh, I haven't gotten to that part yet!
Sideshow Bob: It's a four-year-old book.
Bart Simpson: I'm a slow reader.
Sideshow Bob: A fitting epitaph (Pause) It means last words!
Bart: Are you here to teach me, or kill me?

Judge Me TenderEdit

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