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SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 4

season of television series

Seasons: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 | Movies: The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie / Sponge Out of Water / Sponge on the Run | Main

SpongeBob SquarePants (1999-) is an animated TV series, airing on Nickelodeon about the adventures and endeavors of the title character and his various friends in the fictional underwater city of Bikini Bottom. It spawned a movie, followed by several short films, and video games.

Episode 1Edit

Fear of a Krabby Patty (1.1)Edit

[Montage of non-stop service]
Mr. Krabs: DAY 15! GIVE IT UP FOR DAY 15!
SpongeBob: [singing, flipping patties] K-R-A-B-B-Y P-A-T-T-Y... [Plankton laughs menacingly] 1,322...
Mr. Krabs: DAY 23! GIVE IT UP FOR DAY 23!
SpongeBob: 6,654...
Mr. Krabs: DAY 30!
SpongeBob: 7,121... [Plankton laughs menacingly]
Mr. Krabs: Day... 35...!
SpongeBob: 8,659...
Old Man Jenkins: Wait, what's going on? Whoa, whoa...!
[After so many days running 24 hours]
Mr. Krabs: Day, uh... Anyone know how many days it's been? I lost track.
Squidward: [wheezes] 43.

Peter Lankton (Plankton): Okay, I say a word, and I want you to say the first word that pops in your head.
SpongeBob: Okay!
Mr. Lankton: Work.
SpongeBob: Work.
Dr. Peter Lankton: Spatula.
SpongeBob: Spatula.
Dr. P. Lankton: [annoyed] Bun.
SpongeBob: Bun.
P. Lankton: See, the key is to say something different than what I say.
SpongeBob: Ooh, Okay, I got it.
Dr. Lankton: Potato.
SpongeBob: Patotto.
Lankton: Tomato.
SpongeBob: Tamotto.

[In SpongeBob's dream]
Dreamy Krabby Patty: [points at Dreamy SpongeBob's chest] I'll always be with you right here.
Dreamy SpongeBob: In my heart?
Dreamy Krabby Patty: Actually, in your arteries.

SpongeBob: [When he's cured] It worked. I'm cured!
Lankton: But what about the formula?!?
SpongeBob: You're right, I gotta go back to work.
Lankton: Wait! Come back! Therapy doesn't work. YOU'RE STILL SICK, VERY VERY SICK!!

Mr. Krabs: No more 24 hour shifts... 'cause 23 hours will be plenty!

Shell of a Man (1.2)Edit

SpongeBob: [putting the meat on the patty] Easy... [takes all the condiments and throws them in the air. They all land nicely stacked on top of the patty] Perfection!

Squidward: Is #5's order ready yet, Spongebob?

SpongeBob: [gasps] Mr. Krabs. [knocks once on Mr. Krabs door and it opens] Hello? Mr. Krabs? [Mr. Krabs is shown head down on his desk] You alright? Are you sleepy? [pokes Mr. Krabs body knocking it to the floor revealing an empty shell] Mr. Krabs!! [sniffs his arm] I don't smell his pulse. [in the background, a fleshy and pink Mr. Krabs rushes past SpongeBob] What's that? [figure is behind a barrel] Is somebody there?
Mr. Krabs: Don't look at me! Leave me be!
SpongeBob: [throws barrel away] You're alive and... naked.

[At the reunion]
SpongeBob: Well, here goes noth-- Wow. I've never seen so many manly naval men. So tough, so brave, so... clever. And I'm one of them! [at the reunion, a tough man is shown lifting Nancy on a treasure chest]
Mr. Krabs: [hiding in a coral plant] No, you're not. Don't blow this for me, SpongeBob.
SpongeBob: I won't let you down.
Mutton Chop: Armor Abs Krabs. Come join your navy buddies in a toast.
SpongeBob: [high-pitched voice] Comiiing! [runs over to the table]
Mr. Krabs: Oh, what have I done?
"Armor Abs Krabs" (SpongeBob): Okay boys, let the SS Party drop anchor right here.
Mr. Krabs: I've created a monster.
Lockjaw Jones: Here's some grog. You still like pineapple, right?
"Armor Abs Krabs": Like pineapple? I live in one. [everyone laughs]
Torpedo Belly: That Ol' Krabs is manly as ever.
Mr. Krabs: I don't believe it. SpongeBob is pulling it off.
Mutton Chop: Hey Armor Abs, Ol' Iron Eye here has been itching to punch your legendary gut.
"Armor Abs Krabs": Well, if you think you're man enough.
Mr. Krabs: Uh-oh, this could be bad.
"Armor Abs Krabs": Fire the torpedoes. [Iron Eye punches SpongeBob. He bounces around in Mr. Krabs' shell then comes up dizzy]
Mutton Chop: What do you say, Krabs? Just like old times. ["Armor Abs Krabs" spits out a tooth]
Lockjaw Jones: A tooth? ["Armor Abs Krabs" spits out 2 more teeth]
Torpedo Belly: Teeth. Now, that's manly. [SpongeBob coughs out his skeleton and everyone gasps then cheers] (...And disgusting.)

Mutton Chop: Admitting you lost your shell is the toughest thing I've ever seen and uh... I have a confession. Uh... [rips off his 'fake' sideburns] These are fake!
SpongeBob and Armor Abs Krabs: [gasp] What...?
Torpedo Belly: Over here.
Armor Abs Krabs: You too, Torpedo Belly?
Torpedo Belly: Actually, I had my torpedo removed... long ago.
Lockjaw Jones: And these aren't the same choppers... that I had in the navy.
Iron Eye: My iron eye is actually made of Formica. [everyone laughs]
SpongeBob: Look at that, Mr. Krabs. You're navy buddies all had something to hide.
Mr. Krabs: Yeah, poor suckers. At least, my shell will grow back. [both laugh]

Episode 2Edit

The Lost Mattress (2.1)Edit

SpongeBob: The doors are locked. The doors are locked and we are on the outside. Outsiders. What are we going to do, Squidward? There are krabby patties inside all alone.
Mr. Krabs: Just stand aside, lad, and let me unlock the door.
SpongeBob: [faces comes out his backside] Mr. Krabs, you're here! [jumping around] Gosh, Mr. Krabs, we were worried something might have happened to you. That the world would've never been deprived of the greatest food known to man.

SpongeBob, Patrick and Squidward: Surprise!
Mr. Krabs: Armageddon! What? Oh, you? What in the blue eye scallop are you doing in me bedroom?
SpongeBob: We noticed how miserable you were on your lumpy, old mattress.
Squidward: So I suggested we get you a new one.
Patrick: [talking to SpongeBob] I thought it was your idea.
Mr. Krabs: So, where's me old mattress then? [fury goes up]
Squidward: Don't worry, Mr. Krabs, I took care of that personally, too. I had it hauled away to the dump.
Mr. Krabs: [jumps on Squidward] All my money was in that mattress!
Squidward: What, haven't you ever heard of a bank?!?
Mr. Krabs: No! [walks backward, hits his lamp and trashes some books]
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs!
Mr. Krabs: No! [faints]

Police Officer: Not so fast! [holds up get well card] This card says "This was all my idea. Love, Squid-ward". If Mr. Krabs doesn't pull through, you're going to jail!

Squidward: Oh, I give up. [guard worm lands in Squidward's arm snarling at him. Squidward runs off as the worm chases him]

Krabs vs. Plankton (2.2)Edit

Plankton: [ponders the thought and then falls back and pretends to be injured] Oh, the pain! I can't feel my arms and legs! I think they're broken. I'll have to sue for my pain and suffering.
Mr. Krabs: [bursting through his office's door] Sue!?!
Female Customer #1: Oh, that looks bad.
Dennis: Uh-oh.

[Plankton, in a wheelchair, enters the courtroom and precedes to Mr. Krabs]
Plankton: [whispering] I'll give you one last chance. I'll drop the charges if you give me the formula.
Mr. Krabs: [yelling] Never, you little runt! [The court audience gasps]
Plankton: [dramatically] Oww, oww! My wittle arm! [audience gasps]
Mr. Krabs: What? No. I didn't lay a claw on him.
Plankton: Oww! My other arm! [audience gasps]
Mr. Krabs: He's lying! Bah!
[Judge's gavel knocks and the two proceed to their desk]
Tom: Court will come to order. The Honorable Judge Stickleback presiding.
Stickleback: Mr. Krabs, where is your attorney?
Mr. Krabs: [hesitantly] I don't know... where he could be.
[The courtroom door bursts open, with SpongeBob standing there in a gray suit, similar to the previous lawyer's]
SpongeBob: Here I am!
Stickleback: Thank you for joining us, Mr....!?
SpongeBob: [placing his briefcase on the desk] SpongeBob 'LawyerPants', your honor.
Mr. Krabs: [Through his teeth] What are you doing here, SpongeBob?
SpongeBob: Your lawyer, umm... fell down on the job, but don't worry, Mr. Krabs, I have everything under control. It's, uhh... all in here. [rubs his briefcase]
Mr. Krabs: Really?
SpongeBob: Yep, right in here. [tries to unlock the briefcase, but can't]
Mr. Krabs: Is there a problem?
SpongeBob: Umm... your lawyer didn't give me the combination.

Mr. Krabs: You may as well give up on that case, me boy. My goose is cooked.
SpongeBob: [gasps] Mr. Krabs, I'm surprised at you. We can't give up just because things :look bleak. This trial will be won by what's in your heart, not what's in this dumb old case. [he hits the case. The case then opens up] It's open! [they lift the case]
Mr. Krabs: It's... [shows that the thing inside the briefcase is a Krabby Patty] It's just his lunch. Or is it? [a light bulb moves out of SpongeBob's head and starts glowing, implying that he has an idea.]
SpongeBob: Defense calls Plankton to the stand.
[Plankton looks surprised; later, on the stand]
SpongeBob: Why did you go into the Krusty Krab that day?
Plankton: To, you know. Say hello to my once good friend, Mr. Krabs. What?
SpongeBob: Are you sure it wasn't to make off with one of these? [he shows Plankton a Krabby Patty. Plankton starts licking his lips] Gotcha. Weren't you there to steal the formula of the most delicious, sweet smelling sandwich known to Bikini Bottom? Krabby Patty.
Plankton: [continuously sweating] Uhh...uhh...uhh [he tries to bite the sandwich, but SpongeBob takes it away. He takes off his fake casts] I can't take it! Gimme! Gimme, gimme, gimme! [jumps for the sandwich and grabs it, then he runs off with it] Yippee! Finally it's mine!
Mr. Krabs: [grabbing the sandwich from Plankton] I'll take that!
Plankton: Huh? No, no, no!
Mr. Krabs: Once again, Plankton, the sweetest of life's joys has eluded your grasp. [he eats the Krabby Patty]
Plankton: No, no, no, no!

Tom: We have, your honor. We find the defendant not guilty... but he is cheap.
Mr. Krabs: Well, it'll do. After all, it's free!

SpongeBob: [examining Squidward] Mr... Squidward, is it? My client has been called cheap. Do you agree with this ludicrous statement?
Squidward: [without hesitation] Yes.
Mr. Krabs: What?
SpongeBob: Let me rephrase the question. Can you recall an instance of Mr. Krabs' generosity in any way?
Squidward: Nnnope. [to the judge] Can I go now? My first day off in three years and I have to spend it testifying?

Have You Seen this Snail? (Episode 3)Edit

SpongeBob: Dirty Bubble, say your prayers!

Snails in Painting: RUN!!

[Gary sees the fliers SpongeBob and Patrick have been posting all over town, and realizes that SpongeBob wants him back]
SpongeBob: [in Gary's mind] Gary, please come back to me!
[Gary starts crawling towards his old home]
SpongeBob: [continued] Go, boy! Go!

Granny: Oh, there you are, Ms. Tuffsy!
Other Snail: Who?

Patrick: Did you just say "Gary"? SpongeBob, I just remembered! Back at the craft store, I saw... these huge chunks of balsa wood! They were awesome!

[That Night, SpongeBob and Patrick are searching for Gary. Patrick is shaking his belly]
SpongeBob: Gary? Gary! Gary, where are you? Are you under here? [lifts a flower up] Gary! Keep shaking, Patrick.
Patrick: Oh. [jiggles his belly]
SpongeBob: Gary!
Squidward: What are those Neanderthals up to? Don't they know I'm busy spoiling myself? [SpongeBob and Patrick open Squidward's door while he is in the bathtub, Squidward screams three times, then he pants]
SpongeBob: You check over there. I'll check in here. [checks in the bathtub Squidward is in] Find him yet, Pat?
Patrick: [pulls the sink out from the wall, making water shoot out everywhere] No, but I'll keep looking.
SpongeBob: [teary-eyed] But there's nowhere left to look!
Patrick: There's one place we haven't checked. [cut to SpongeBob and Patrick standing in front of the former's mailbox full of letters]
SpongeBob: I doubt Gary could fit in there.
Patrick: Can't hurt to look.
SpongeBob: Here goes nothing. [opens the mailbox and a bunch of letters shoot out and a rolled up paper falls on the ground] Look, Pat!
Patrick: What is it?
SpongeBob: Let's see. "Dear SpongeBob, These last few years have been some of the best of my life, but I must move on. Don't bother to come looking for me. By now, I have probably found a new owner who actually remembers to fill up my food bowl every now and again. Sincerely, Gary. At least until my new owner renames me." Dear Neptune, what have I done?
Patrick: What do you mean? You drove him away. It's right there in black and white. See? Right there and there.
SpongeBob: Gary. [cut to Gary slithering into another town. A couple walks by him laughing, then sees Fred and Debbie Rechid eating inside a diner]

Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob! You're 15 minutes late.
SpongeBob: Sorry, Mr. Krabs, I was out all night looking for Gary. You see, he ran away and, well, now I...
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, are you okay? You look kinda...different.
SpongeBob: Well, I'm not exactly what you'd call okay, Mr. Krabs. You see, my...
Mr. Krabs: [snaps fingers] Aha! You just forgot to put your hat on.[puts his hat on his head] Knew I'd figure it out.
SpongeBob: [his tears drop on the patty] Gary.
Evelyn: Yeah, I'd like a refund for this Krabby Patty.
Mr. Krabs: Refund?! What's wrong with it?
Evelyn: Oh, nothing, really... except that it's covered in tears! [reveals that there are six tears on the patty]
Mr. Krabs: What the...?
SpongeBob: Gary... [crying]
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob! There's customers out there, boy, waiting to be fed!
SpongeBob: This wouldn't be the first time I disappointed someone who was hungry.
Mr. Krabs: Okay, boy, why don't you tell Mr. Krabs what's wrong.
SpongeBob: Well, you see...
Mr. Krabs: [grabs SpongeBob's mouth] That's enough, boy. See, it's not always what you say that matters. Sometimes, it's what you don't say. Understand?
SpongeBob: Yes, Mr. Krabs. I should've told Gary how important he was to me.
Mr. Krabs: Well, I don't know what that has to do with making Krabby Patties, but I do know this: any problem you have can be solved with a little hard work.
SpongeBob: You're right, Mr. Krabs.
Mr. Krabs: That's me boy!
SpongeBob: If I'm going to find Gary, I'm going to need to work harder at it.
Mr. Krabs: Wh...?
[cut to Patrick sleeping on the ground. A bunch of things fall on Patrick and wake him up]
Patrick: It's the apocalypse! Office products falling from the sky!
SpongeBob: No, Patrick. We're going to use this stuff to go find Gary.
Patrick: But I thought you drove him away with your neglect and indifference.
SpongeBob: [sighs] Patrick, now is not the time for talking. We've got work to do. [cut to Gramma]

Episode 4Edit

Skill Crane (4.1)Edit

[Squidward sitting on ground with empty bag over head]
SpongeBob: Pardon me, Squidward. SpongeBear, Jr. here wants me to win him a little brother. [Squidward scoots to the side while SpongeBob inserts a coin into the machine]
Skill Crane: You are a winner! [two prizes come out]
Squidward: Huh?
SpongeBob: Two in one quarter? That's not fair. [puts in one of the prizes] What's that clown frown? Oh, you'd rather sit next to lovely lion? [takes the crane and moves the prizes around] There you are, nice and cozy. See ya later, Squidward.

Good Neighbors (4.2)Edit

[as SpongeBob delivers the newspapers]
Patrick: Hey, watch where you're going! [screams] newspaper monster!
SpongeBob: [screams] Monster!
[SpongeBob and Patrick run around in circles screaming]
Squidward: Will you two nincompoops kindly quiet down?! I am not going to let them ruin the rest of my Sunday.

'Squidward: [He angrily twitches his eye. As SpongeBob continues wiggling his toes, he furious turns red and makes way toward the front door] ALRIGHT, YOU TWO!! OUT!!!

[SpongeBob and Patrick slowly walk out]


SpongeBob: Squidward, does that include… Squidward: [angrily screams] YES, IT DOES!!!! [furiously slams door] SpongeBob: Gee, Patrick, do you think Squidward was trying to tell us something? Squidward: [angrily busts head through the door, exploding] YES, I WAS! YOU CALL YOURSELVES GOOD NEIGHBORS?! YOU'RE THE WORST NEIGHBORS EVER! [deep breath] YOU DON'T DESERVE TO WEAR THOSE FEZZES!![furiously takes SpongeBob and Patrick's fezzes and angrily stomps them into the ground] SpongeBob: Gee, Pat, maybe President Squidward's right. Patrick: Yeah, I guess we aren't good neighbors after all. Squidward: [furiously explodes once again] NO, YOU AREN'T! YOU'RE HORRIBLE NEIGHBORS!! [he angrily hyperventilates] AND STOP CALLING ME PRESIDENT!!

Squidward: [quietly seething after SpongeBob and Patrick turned his house into a robot that attacked Bikini Bottom] This was all my fault. I was the one who wanted to relax on Sunday. Now if you'll be so kind as to leave so that I can get ready for work tomorrow.
SpongeBob: Mr. President...
Squidward: Shush.
SpongeBob: But we just wanted to...
Squidward: GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!!! [suprised] Huh?
[As soon as SpongeBob and Patrick flee from Squidward, a whole crowd and two police boats appear outside Squidward's house]
Scooter: There he is!
Green Fish: Are you the owner of this house?
Squidward: Yes! Yes, I am.
Green Fish: Then on behalf of the citizens of Bikini Bottom, I present you with this summons. [The angry fish hands him a warrant.] To pay for the destruction of our town, you'll be doing community service every Sunday for the rest of your life.
Squidward: Huh?
SpongeBob: Hey, Squidward, you got one of those, too? [SpongeBob and Patrick walk up with a summons in their hands] This'll be great! The 3 of us cleaning up Bikini Bottom. Well, see ya next Sunday, president Squidward!
[Squidward twitches, ready for another explosion]

Episode 5Edit

Selling Out (5.1)Edit

Carl: Hey, fellas! What's going on over here?
Squidward: Oh, hey, Carl! I was just reminding Eugene about article 24, section 3 of the Employee Handbook!
Carl: Cut the chatter, and pick up a platter. Good job, Squidward!
Eugene: What've you done with the real Squidward?!
Carl: The less you know Eugene, the better!

Carl: Now, you wouldn't want to talk to human resources, [a big hitman appears in the doorway] would ya? What's our motto again?
Squidward: [frightened] Uh-uh... Sincere Service... [slaps himself across the face and activates his Morpher] WITH A SMILE!

Eugene: SpongeBob, what happened to the krabby patties?
SpongeBob: I tried to tell them, BUT THEY WOULDN'T LISTEN TO ME!!

Eugene: [seeing Krabby Patties being processed on a conveyor belt] This is obscene!

Mr. Blandy: Mr. Krabs, is there a problem?
Mr. Eugene Krabs: You better believe there's a problem! I used to kiss the ground you walked on, Blandy, but after seeing this, I wouldn't even spit in your direction! Krabby Patties are supposed to be made by hand, one at a time! Not on a conveyor belt!
[An alarm sounds just then. Gray matter oozes out from beneath the closed kitchen door]
Carl: Oh my.

[While golfing during his retirement]
Mr. Krabs: Wait a minute... I hate golf!

Carl: Mr. Blandy?! Code Red, FREE THINKER!!

Mr. Krabs: Excuse me, ma'am. Do you know what's in that patty you're eating?
Customer: No. [Mr. Krabs shows pile of the gray sludge. Customer runs out]
Mr. Krabs: See that, without all your smoke and mirrors, no one would stomach this garbage.
Edward: What'd he say, garbage? [customers notice what's in the Krabby Patties and everyone runs out]

Funny Pants (5.2)Edit

(Spongebob laughs as he sees Patrick continuously slipping on a banana peel)
Squidward: But, you cut out my laugh box.

Dunces and Dragons (Episode 6)Edit

Guard: Right this way.
SpongeBob: Excuse me, but I believeth you meanteth to say, "Righteth this way-eth!"
Guard: [holds his spear up to his throat, gulps, then puts it down] Some day, but not today.

Squidly: Everyone be-eth a critic.

Patrick: Me thinks it's mutton-tastic!

Squidly: I'll show you. [singing] I was the king's favorite fool.
I made merry mirth and laughter.
Then I told one bad joke and the king had a stroke and now I hang from ye olde rafter.
Patrick: [stomach growls] What does a guy have to do to get some mutton around here? I'm starving!
Squidly: Don't hold thy breath! We'll be lucky if we get fed again by the 12th century!
SpongeBob: They sure do take their role-playing seriously around here. [explosion outside]
Patrick: What's that?
Squidly: [singing] The evil wizard's dragon is here.
See the townsfolk scream with fear.
See the townsfolk try to run.
I can tell this won't be fun.
The dragon will torch everything, everything in the valley.
Hospitals, schools, retirement homes, and even ye olde bowling alley.

SpongeBob: Squidward, what are you doing here?
Squidly: [looks around confused] Does thou talketh to me?
SpongeBob: [laughs] Good one, Squidward. [imitates Squidly] "Does thou talketh to me?".

[SpongeBob, Squidly, and Patrick all head to the bridge to stop the evil wizard, but a Dark Knight blocks their path]
Dark Knight: [dark male voice] Halt, who goes there?
Squidly: Doth my eyes betray me? Tis the nefarious dark knight. [singing] Oh dark knight Spare us please,
Don't cut off our heads or boil our knees.
Pray take these two and let me go free and will give to thee some...cheese! [cow makes sounds]
SpongeBob/Patrick: Dark knight?!
Dark Knight: [dark male voice] I asketh once more. Before I rip thee limb from limb, reveal thyself!
SpongeBob: I am SpongeBob and this is Patrick. [laughs nervously] We've been sent to rescue Princess Pearl from Planktonamor.
Dark Knight: [dark male voice] If thou wishes to get across, thou willst have [reveals self as Medieval Sandy and speaks with a female voice] to get through me!
SpongeBob: [gasps] Medieval Sandy! I know how to handle this: With a little karate! [both attack each other but SpongeBob swallows Sandy then spits her out into a rock]
Dark Knight: By the hammer of Odin, this be a new fighting style my eyes have not yet seen.
SpongeBob: I am bad, oh yeah! Whoo!
Dark Knight: Doth thou tryeth to insult me? Thou willst drink from the fountain of shame!
SpongeBob: Pssh, did you hear that Patrick? I told you she thinks like a squirrel. [Dark Knight destroys the armor and throws SpongeBob into a rock. SpongeBob ends up having his legs and arms switched] Good one, Medieval Sandy. But can you handle my feet of fury? [attacks Dark Knight but the Dark Knight jumps out of the way as SpongeBob bounces off the rock and into Dark Knight sending her into the other rock. SpongeBob attacks her again but the Dark Knight pins SpongeBob against the rock]
Dark Knight: Wouldst thou like a little rub down? [as she is rubbing SpongeBob turns into dust causing the Dark Knight to cough. SpongeBob appears normal again and karate chops the Dark Knight] You have bested me, yellow knight... Strike quick and true, noble sponge...
SpongeBob: I don't understand a word you just said! [laughs. Dark Knight turns into a real live action squirrel but with the crosses for eyes] Uhh, Medieval Sandy, you don't look so good. Sandy? Sandy…?

Episode 7Edit

Enemy In-Law (7.1)Edit

Plankton: Excuse me! I can't reach my silverware!
SpongeBob: Terribly sorry, sir. [pulls out a smaller chair and table, places it on the big table, and puts Plankton into it] Will there be anything else?
Plankton: Is my tie on straight?
SpongeBob: You... look FABULOUS!!

Plankton: Well, I'm in the food service, I'm a bit of a restauranteur. I'm the owner of the Chum Bucket.
Mrs. Krabs: Never heard of it.
Plankton: [looks shocked] It's across the street.
Mrs. Krabs: Doesn't ring a bell.
Plankton: [holds up a telephone directory] It's on the back of the phone book. Come on, I paid a lot of money for that ad! (Uh… you know what?) Never mind, never mind. So, tell me about you.
Mrs. Krabs: Well…
Eugene Krabs: PLANKTON!
Plankton: KRABS!
Mrs. Krabs: EUGENE!
Eugene: Mommy?
Plankton: "Mommy"?
SpongeBob: SpongeBob!
Plankton: [to Mr. Krabs] This delectable creature is your mother?
Eugene: [to his mom] This no-good, conniving chizzler is your date?!
SpongeBob: And this devilishly handsome sponge is your waiter!
Eugene Krabs: SPONGEBOB!! I don't know what sort of skullduggery you're up to, Plankton, and I'm not waiting to find out. [takes Plankton out of the restaurant]
Mrs. Krabs: Eugene, you put my boyfriend down this instant! [Eugene looks shocked]
Plankton: Boyfriend?
Eugene: But, Mommy...
Plankton: You heard the lady, let me go! [Eugeue reluctantly drops Plankton into Mrs. Krabs' claw] That's more like it.
Mrs. Krabs: [carrying him home] Come, Plankton. I'm sorry me son had to spoil our romantic evening.
Eugene: [alone, sadly] Mommy?

[Plankton cleaning a picture of Eugene's mom]
Eugene: You!
Plankton: Eugene.
Eugene: I came to warn you, Plankton. Stay away from me mother. I know what you're really up to.
Plankton: I'm serious, Eugene. I've changed my ways, and all it took was the love of a beautiful woman.
Eugene: All you love is thieving and conniving. Now, stop trying to get the formula out of me mother.
Plankton: What are you talking about?
Eugene: I'm talking about the Krabby Patty formula!
Plankton: Your mother knows the Krabby Patty formula?
Eugene: Don't play stupid with me. Of course she does. It's an old Krabs family recipe, and you're not family! [Plankton frowns] I'm telling you for the last time - stay away from me mother. [walks out]
Plankton: Not family, eh? I can fix that.

Mrs. Krabs: Eugene!
Eugene: Mommy!
Mrs. Krabs: What did I tell ye about interfering in me life?
Eugene: Mommy, can't you see? He's trying to seduce the Krabby Patty formula right from under you.
Mrs. Krabs: For your information, Eugene, he hasn't asked me once about the formula. I doubt that he even knows that I know it.
Eugene: [chuckles] Uh, yeah... funny thing about that.
Mrs. Krabs: I forbid ye to interfere in me private business. Go to your office… now!
Eugene: Yes, mommy. [walks into his office]
Plankton: Somebody call heaven because I think an angel's gone missing.
Mrs. Krabs: Oh, Sheldon.
Plankton: Oh, Mrs. Krabs. [snaps fingers]
Eugene: Oh, brother.
Plankton: Attention, attention, everyone. I'd like to make an announcement - Mrs. Krabs, in full view of this restaurant, I ask you for your hand in holy matrimony.
Crowd: Aw!
Plankton: Would... you marry me? [big diamond ring shown up close]
Eugene: Ah, that's it! No more hiding in my room like a scared little kid, it's time to act like a man! [jumps at Plankton]
Plankton: Gasp!
Eugene: [jumps in his mom's lap] Please don't marry him, mommy! Don't marry this bad, bad man! I don't want you to!
Plankton: Too late, Krabsy. We're going to be married. And you're gonna be my new son! [laughs maniacally; Mrs. Krabs hands the ring back to him] Huh? What's this, honey bunch?
Mrs. Krabs: I'm flattered by your offer, really I am, but I'm just not ready for that kind of commitment. [his son laughs]

Plankton: I don't want to hear your lies! You owe me for leading me on like this! Give me the Krabby Patty formula and we'll call it even.
Mrs. Krabs: The formula!? Is that what this whole thing was about?
Plankton: No, no, not really. I mean, not at first. I mean, uh... honey bunch? [Mrs. Krabs shows her muscles, which show as ships cannons.] Uh-oh. [She punches Plankton back to the Chum Bucket.] Oh, well, 'tis better to loved and lost than never to be loved at all!

Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy VI: The Motion Picture (VII.II)Edit

Narrator: It's Mermaid Man! Savior of the deep! [in comes Barnacle Boy] And his young fit servant, Barnacle Boy.
Mermaid Man: Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy... unite! [both put rings together, then jump down onto Kelp Thing's car] Kelp Thing, this is a posted, no-parking zone.
Kelp Thing: But I must do what I do. [jumps up in the air until he notices his car is being towed] Huh? [jumps down and then walks away]
Mermaid Man: Evil can't park here between the hours of 6 a.m. and 12 p.m.!

Club Leader: Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy Fan Club members unite! [puts hands together in air]
Members: Unite!
Club Leader: And now the second order of business - Drippy Brothers Studios is currently in production of the Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy movie!
All: Ooh!
SpongeBob: Oh, boy, Patrick, I can hardly wait to see our favorite heroes on the big screen!
[Patrick laughs]
Club Leader: Third order of business, the special surprise guest. [all gasp] The stars of the Mermaid Man movie are here tonight! [everyone cheers] Directly from the set, here they are!

Announcer: B-47.
Mermaid Man: Bonko!
Barnacle Boy: [puts his hands on Mermaid Man] It's "bingo".
Mermaid Man: [slaps Barnacle Boy's hand away] Get your hands off me, woman!
Announcer: A-29.
SpongeBob: [walks in angrily] Too old for an action movie. Huh!
Barnacle Boy: What is it this time, kid?
SpongeBob: Are you aware Drippy Brothers Studio is making the Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy movie?
Barnacle Boy: They can't be making a movie about us!
SpongeBob: But they are, and they're using... [close-up of his mouth] ...Actors.
[The heroes gasp.]
SpongeBob: They have shunned our heroes.
Patrick: And they weren't nice to them either.
Mermaid Man: [sobs] Now our dreams of being big screen heroes will never come true.
SpongeBob: Well, that makes it even worse.
Barnacle Boy: [puts his hands on Mermaid Man's back] You bet it does, kid.
Mermaid Man: And the worst part is... I can't remember why I started crying. [sobs some more]
Patrick: Why don't we just make our own movie?
SpongeBob: Patrick, once again, you have exposed your brilliance. We'll make a real Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy movie, right here at Shady Shoals.
Mermaid Man: [stops crying] You will?
SpongeBob: Yes, and in doing so, we will right the wrong done to you by the evil Drippy Brother Studios and... [close-up of his mouth] ...Their actors.
Mermaid Man: [jumps on top of the table] Vindication is ours! Vindi... How did I get up here?

Sandy [repeated line]: Did somebody say, "BOOM!"? [blows up Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy]

SpongeBob: Okay, Patrick, start the movie!
Assistant: Take 1. (And action!)
Mermaid Man: We have to get back to those swollen Krabby Patties.
SpongeBob: Cut! No, Mermaid Man, it's "stolen Krabby Patties".
Assistant: Take 2.
Mermaid Man: We have to get back to those stolen naggie daddies.
SpongeBob: Cut! No, Mermaid Man, it's "stolen Krabby Patties"!
Assistant: [somewhat tired tone] Take 5,003. (And go!)
Mermaid Man: We have to get back to those stolen Krabby Patties, and if we don't stop that diabolical scoundrel– [mumbles because Plankton accidentally shoves the microphone in his mouth]
Plankton: Give it back!
Barnacle Boy: I knew this was a bad idea.
SpongeBob: Cut! Plankton, next time could you keep the boom out of shot? Other than that, you're doing a super job.
Plankton: This is humiliating. I'm not good at this boom thing.

SpongeBob: Okay, action!
Mermaid Man: To the boat mobile! [both jump on the boat mobile, which is really Pearl on her back with wheels]
SpongeBob: Cue the sound effects. [Pearl uses her tongue for a boat engine]
Mermaid Man: Listen to that engine purr. [the assistant is straining as he tries to pull Mermaid Man, Barnacle Boy, and Pearl up a steep cliff]
SpongeBob: Almost there!

SpongeBob: [wailing] The movie's ruined! We can't make a movie!
Mermaid Man: Hey, little hero, this reminds me of the Episode 912. We were surrounded. The Kelp-Thing was to our right and their broccoli was on the side, but if there was one thing I remember, it was how to forget.
SpongeBob: Patrick, this is good. Roll the film.
Mermaid Man: The rain in Spain stays mainly on the... space! The final countdown. Stick to the... stick to the... Lou, my darling! Lou! [falls on ground] Now get out there and finish this movie, kid.

SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, why are you weeping?
Mr. Krabs: I closed early for your movie. Where are the paying customers?! You promised a full house!
SpongeBob: And here comes the filling! [fan club comes rushing into the Krusty Krab] The Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy Fan Club. I knew you'd come to see the real Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy movie.
Club Leader: Actually, (we came here because) the real movie was sold out. [to Mr. Krabs] I'll take 200 tickets, please. [hands Mr. Krabs stack of money]
Mr. Krabs: [stuffs it into his pocket] Now, this is what I call a happy ending.
Barnacle Boy: [movie starts] Well, our big moment, us up on the big screen. [Mermaid Man is sleeping]
SpongeBob: [on-screen, playing with a toy car near a box-made fort with the word "LOX" on it] Fort Lox - home to over 5,000,000,000 Krabby Patties. What evil mastermind would dare infiltrate this fortified fort and make off with its treasure? [the patty vault is opened and a piece of kelp on strings comes down] It is I, Kelp-Thing! Do what I do!
Mermaid Man: [on-screen] Stop! You can't do that- forbidden.
SpongeBob: [on-screen as Kelp-Thing] Watch me!
Mermaid Man: Prepare to feel my wrath, you foul villain. [Sandy comes in as Mermaid Man's stunt double and fights Kelp Thing. Then Mermaid Man shows up on screen again] You may have won the Krabby Patties, but the battle rages on. [real crabs are fighting] Mermaidman- acle Boy, unite! [both put rings together, then 'FIN' comes on-screen]​
SpongeBob and Patrick: [cheering] Yay! [the other Bikini Bottomites are disappointed]
Mermaid Man: Well, kid, you showed the world that even though our steps may have been slowed, we still have a little action left in these heroic old bones. [bone breaks]
Barnacle Boy: Well, at least some of them. [all 4 laugh]

Episode 8Edit

Patrick Smartpants (8.1)Edit

Patrick: [to Squidward] May I suggest that on the seventh bar of the 'Adagio Andante' that you add a little fortissimo on the arpeggiated B flat scale.
Squidward: Wow, I never thought to do it like that!
Patrick: That is because you rarely think.
Spongebob: How do you know so much about music?
Patrick: A creative outlet provides a spiritual release and helps facilitate a healthy mental balance.

Patrick: Knowledge can never replace friendship! I PREFER TO BE AN IDIOT!
SpongeBob: You're not just an idiot Patrick, you're also my pal!

SpongeBob: Patrick! You're back!
Patrick: Patrick, you're back.
[They hug each other]

SquidBob TentaclePants (8.2)Edit

[Later, SpongeBob and Squidward walk home]
SpongeBob: Look on the bright side, Squidward. At least we still have each other.
Squidward: That's how we got into this predicament in the first place, you imbecile. Now if you'll excuse me, I'd like a moment of peace.
[Squidward plays his clarinet as they walk past a surfer]
Surfer: Whoa, rock on, freaky bro!
[SpongeBob and Squidward went to Sandy]
Squidward: Sandy! Sandy! Please tell me you've figured out a way to separate us.
Sandy: Say hello to the 'Molecular Separator Ray'.
Squidward: Hello, Molecular Separator Ray. Well, let's get on with it. My clarinet recital is tomorrow night.
Sandy: Uhh, well, I'm not quite done with it yet.
Squidward: What'd you say?
Sandy: I'm still putting it together. At best I'll have it ready, uhh, the day after tomorrow? Maybe?
[Squidward pushes Sandy's air helmet]
Squidward: What? Day after tomorrow?! No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No! I have a performance tomorrow! I can't be stuck to that yellow freak. [SpongeBob smiles and blinks his eyes] Sandy, please, you've got to do it before the show.
Sandy: Well, uhh, I suppose... I'll have it ready before you go on.

Sandy: Whoo-wee, there you boys are. Looks like I'm just in time.
SpongeBob/Squidward: Sandy?
Sandy: One blast of this Molecular Separator Ray and you'll be separated for good.
[SpongeBob and Squidward try to tell Sandy not to blast them, but was too late, she blasts the ray at Squidward and SpongeBob and it separates them. Crowd gasps]
Squidward: [SpongeBob gives him back his clarinet] Hmph. [plays clarinet off-key making SpongeBob cheer for him, but the audience hates it as they block their ears, Old Man Jenkins faints off his chair]
Mary: I think I'm going to be sick.
[Squidward blows his clarinet at Billy which blows his skin off and shows his skeleton]
Billy: Ah, I'm out of here!
Squidward: Huh, no wait. Wait! [everyone leaves] Oh, my one moment of fame... gone. [grabs the Molecular Separator Ray] There's got to be some way to reverse this. [pushes the button over and over]
Sandy: No, Squidward! That's a very sensitive device!
SpongeBob: Squidward, I wouldn't...
[The Molecular Separator Ray blasts into the final scene]
Therapist: [talking to Squidward] So, what seems to be the problem, Mr. Tentacles?
Squidward: It all started... when I was born.
[The camera zooms out revealing SpongeBob, Patrick, Mr. Krabs, Sandy, Mrs. Puff, and Pearl, joined in Squidward's body as the episode ends]

Episode 9Edit

Krusty Towers (9.1)Edit

Patrick: I'd like a Krabby Patty, please.
Squidward: This is a hotel now. If you want a Krabby Patty, you'll have to get a room and order room service!
Patrick: OK! One Krabby Patty and one room... with cheese. Oh, can can I get cheese on my Krabby Patty too?
Squidward: Patrick, you live 400 yards away. Why do you want to check into a hotel?
Patrick: Sometimes I need to get away from it all. [rings bell] Wow, this hotel has everything!
Squidward: [takes bell] Gimme that! Now sign the register.
Patrick: I didn't know there would be a test. I DIDN'T STUDY! [cries]
Squidward: Patrick, all you have to do is write your name.
Patrick: Oh, ok. [takes a pen] Do you mind?! [Squidward turns around so Patrick starts writing. Squidward peeks] DON'T LOOK! [Squidward turns around] Done!
[Patrick drew himself as a giant monster fighting three attack planes ]
Squidward: Close enough. Here's your room key.
Patrick: I'll need some help with my bags.
Squidward: How can you have bags?! You just found out this was a hotel!
Patrick: This is a hotel?
Squidward: [groans] SpongeBob!
SpongeBob: Yes, Squidward?
Squidward: Take Patrick and his bags to his room.
Patrick: What about my Krabby Patty?
Squidward: And bring him a Krabby Patty.
Mr. Krabs: Squidward, you can take Patrick's bags up to his room. SpongeBob, you go make the Krabby Patty. [he exits]
Squidward: Oh, Mr Krabs!
Mr. Krabs: What's the matter? Afraid of a little manual labor? [mocking Squidward] "I'm Squidward and I have to work for a living. Boo hoo hoo hoo hoo."
Squidward: Fine. Let's go, Patrick. [is struggling with Patrick's bags as he is walking up to the elevator]
Mr. Krabs: "[comes out of the elevator]" This elevator is for guests only. Take the employee elevator!
[Sqidward walks to the employee elevator, which turns out to be stairs. He grumbles. Walks up stairs as Patrick gets off the guest elevator]
Squidward: [while carrying Patrick's suitcases] What's in these bags, rocks? [bag opens, spilling out rocks] Hey, these ARE rocks! Why is your suitcase full of rocks?!
Squidward: Well, here's your room.
Patrick: Wow.
Squidward: Enjoy your stay.
Patrick: Squidward, wait! [takes out a rock from his pocket and gives it to Squidward as a tip] Keep up the good work and there'll be more where that came from.
SpongeBob: Your Krabby Patty, sir. [Squidward attempting to throw the rock that Patrick gave to him as a tip] Hey, Squidward, cool rock.
Patrick: Hold on a second, SpongeBob. [hands SpongeBob a dollar, Squidward makes a surprise face, then scowls] Here you are, my good man.
SpongeBob: Why, thank you, Patrick!
Patrick: There's plenty more where that came from, my good friend [Squidward looks at his rock and becomes frustrated] SQUIDWARD!
Squidward: WHAT NOW?!
Patrick: I don't like crusts on my sandwich!
Squidward: It's a bun; it's all crust! How am I supposed to cut the crust of a bun?
Patrick: Peel it. [Squidward peels the crust off of the Krabby Patty bun angrily]
Squidward: Happy? [Patrick gleefully inhales his Krabby Patty]
SpongeBob: Room service! Here's the 50 Krabby Patties you ordered.
Patrick: Could you do one more thing for me?
Squidward: Why don't you ask SpongeBob?
Patrick: Good idea, Squidward!
SpongeBob: How may I serve you, sir?
Patrick: I need you to eat these Krabby Patties with me.
SpongeBob: Oh, yes, sir!
[SpongeBob and Patrick begin to eat the Krabby Patties. As Squidward heads down the employee elevator, Mr. Krabs is on the phone]
Mr. Krabs: Hold on. Squidward! Patrick needs your help.
Squidward: What?! Why didn't he ask me before I walked all the way downstairs?
Mr. Krabs: He said he didn't want to bother you, but he got over it.
[Squidward is unclogging the toilet when he unclogs SpongeBob]
Patrick: Hooray!
SpongeBob: Thanks, Squidward! [Squidward puts him back in the toilet. Patrick flushes it]
Squidward: Mr. Krabs, this is ridiculous! Patrick's being completely unreasonable!
Mr. Krabs: He can be as unreasonable as he wants! The plaque, Squidward, the plaque!
Squidward: But Mr. Krabs...
Mr. Krabs: Deny no guests! [phone rings] Why, hello, Patrick. You need Squidward to come up right away? He'll be right there.
[Patrick is having a bath]
Squidward: A BUBBLE BATH?! Why would I give you a bubble bath?!
Patrick: Well, because Mr. Krabs said you would! Well, be sure to make my back extra shiny clean.
Squidward: THAT'S IT! I've had enough!
Patrick: Squidward, wait! The toilet's backed up again!
[Squidward comes out of the guest elevator]
Mr. Krabs: Hey! Hey, you can't take that elevator! You're an employee!
Squidward: [takes off his hat] Not anymore. I quit.
[Squidward puts his hat on Mr. Krabs]
Mr. Krabs: Quit? You can't quit.
[Squidward throws his uniform on Mr. Krabs as he walks out of the Krusty Towers naked and reenters with Hawaiian-styled clothes. Squidward rings the bell]
Mr. Krabs: Welcome to the Krusty Tow... Squidward?!
Squidward: One room, please. On the top floor.
Mr. Krabs: What do you think you're doing?
Squidward: I need a vacation. I'm overworked. And what better place to relax than Krusty Towers? Where "we shall never deny a guest even the most ridiculous request".
Mr. Krabs: I don't have to rent you a room!

Squidward: I've got cash.

Mr. Krabs: Oh... here's your room key.
Squidward: SpongeBob, carry my things to my room.
SpongeBob: Aye aye, guest sir. [his legs turn into rockets and
he blasts off through the ceiling]
Squidward: [talking to Mr. Krabs] And you can carry me to my room.
Mr. Krabs: And why in tarnation would I do that? You got four legs that aren't broken.
Squidward: The plaque.[plaque is shown]

[Mr. Krabs has just finished carrying Squidward from the employee elevator.]

Squidward: Too bad we couldn't take the elevator, but it is for guests only, and you are an employee.
SpongeBob: Your room, sir.
Squidward: And I'd like to order room service. I'd like a Krabby Patty with cheese, toenail clippings, and nose hairs.
Mr. Krabs: [gasps] You've got to be kidding me!
Squidward: And I'd like it here in 5 seconds.
SpongeBob: Yes, sir! [SpongeBob leaves and returns with a Krabby Patty in less than 2 seconds] Here you are, sir!
Mr. Krabs: You've got your stinky sandwich. Now eat it!
Squidward: Oh, I'm not going eat this. You are. [hands it to Mr. Krabs]
Mr. Krabs: What!? You're out of your mind if you think I'm gonna eat that--
SpongeBob: Psst! [whispers to Mr. Krabs] That's not 'really' a Krabby Patty with cheese, toenails, and nose hairs.
Mr. Krabs: Oh, Now I get ya, boy. [winks] Alright, Squidward. [Mr. Krabs eats the patty, but he spits it out and sticks his tongue out in disgust. On it, there are toenail clippings and nose hairs. Squidward laughs]
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob!
SpongeBob: Sorry, Mr. Krabs. We were all out of cheese. [Scene cuts to Patrick's room which is coated with cheese because apparently he asked for his room with cheese earlier]
Patrick: Hooray!

Squidward: This room is hideous. Redesign it! Neptune XIV would be nice.
Mr. Krabs: What!?
Squidward: "We shall denied a guest, even the most ridiculous request." [Many designs later] Perfect!
Mr. Krabs: This room is exactly the same as when we started!
Squidward: Nothing like getting back to the basics.

[Towards the end of the episode, Mr. Krabs, SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward wind up in the hospital. Mr. Krabs is alarmed to see at how high their medical bill is]
Mr. Krabs: $15,000!?!
Squidward: You're not going to have a heart attack, are you?
Mr. Krabs: Not at these prices! Forget hotels, this hospital wreck's where the money is!
Patrick: This is a hospital?
Mr. Krabs: Pack your bags, boys, you're going to medical school!
Patrick and SpongeBob: Hooray!
Squidward: Oh, boy...

Mrs. Puff, You're Fired (9.2)Edit

Sargent Sam Roderick: [smashes through the door] Hello, worthless students! [SpongeBob shivers in fear] My name is Sam Roderick. I'm your new instructor. [smashes Mrs. Puff's nametag] No one's ever failed my class, that's lived through it. I can assure you these next four weeks'll be the worst years of your miserable lives. Your spines'll break, your teeth'll ache, your eyes'll be bloodshot! [students groan in discomfort] You'll drive out of this school in style, or you'll be carted out in your granny's handbasket. Everyone'll follow the rules of the class. First rule: No talking!
Student #1: [raises hand] Does that mean...?
[Roderick grabs student by the head and tosses him through a wooden door]
Roderick: Second rule: No eating in my class. [takes out a box of chocolates] Would anyone care for a bon-bon?
Student #2: Uh, I'll eat one! [raises hand, all other students gasp]
Roderick: Pick your favorite. [The student picks up a bon-bon, slurps it up with his tongue and chews] How's it taste?
Student #2: It's a delightful taste sensation.
Roderick: [grabs the student by the head and runs forward] NO EATING IN MY CLASSROOM!!! [throws the student through yet another wooden door] Now, if anyone else is man enough to stay in this class... [all the students flee, leaving SpongeBob alone] Looks like you're the man... Sponge!
SpongeBob: I am?

SpongeBob: [crawling on his hands and feet on a driving course then notices a pebble] PEBBLE!! [the pebble gets stuck in SpongeBob's hand] OOOOOW! WOOOOW! [falls onto his butt but keeps accelerating forward, leaving a trail of fire behind him. He flies up a vertical section of road and into the air, continuing to scream out, "OOOOW! WOOOOW!", grasping onto the wrist of the hand with the pebble stuck in it. He falls back down and is caught by Sargent Roderick. His arm then snaps off, and his body drops the ground]
Roderick: I'm ashamed of you, cadet. Tripped up by a pebble the size of an atom. [crushes the pebble between his thumb and forefinger] What are you supposed to be learning in my class?
SpongeBob: Uh, how to drive, sir?
Roderick: Yeah, but first, you learn to crawl, then you learn to walk, then you learn to run! But before you learn to walk, you must learn to CRAAAWWL! I WANT YOU TO CRRAAAWWL!!
SpongeBob: SIR, YES, SIR!!
Roderick: Now get moving!

SpongeBob: [after he destroys every obstacle in the driving course] So, heh... how'd I do?
Roderick: How'd you do? [lifts up a broken fragment of a civilian obstacle SpongeBob destroyed] Why don't you ask the shattered remains of this "pedestrian" HOW YOU DID?!

Mrs. Puff: I feel so serene now that I'm finally away from that homicidal maniac, SpongeBob.

SpongeBob: Step 3 would be... engage blindfold!
Roderick: What?! You can't drive a boat with a blindfold, that's illegal!
SpongeBob: But... I can't do it without a blindfold.
Roderick: DRIVE, BOY! DRIIIVE! [SpongeBob floors the gas pedal and crashes into a huge canister labeled, "GAS", obliterating the boating school facility in a mushroom-radius explosion. The boat flies into the air and lands on a main road.] MAYDAY, MAYDAY! YOU'RE OFF COURSE!

Roderick: [to Mr. Flitz and grabs his shirt collar] I'm gonna stop this thing! Tell my wife I love her! [flips out and jumps onto the hood of the car, then into the air. He lands in front of the boat.] COME GET SOME!!! [The boat plows into Roderick]

SpongeBob: Did I pass?
Mr. Fitz: Well, if there was a "destroy the city" part of the test, you would have.

SpongeBob: Hey, Mrs. Puff. Sorry I'm "unteachable".
Mrs. Puff: It's okay... Mr. Fitz gave me my teaching certificate back... and your dossier was destroyed in the explosion. [trembling voice] So, it's as if you never failed!

Episode 10Edit

Chimps Ahoy (10.1)Edit

Patrick: That's "Mr. Dr. Professor Patrick" to you.

Ghost Host (10.2)Edit

SpongeBob: Squidward, Squidward! [knocking scared the door] Squidward, help! (Spongebob hits Squidward on the face and gets deformed)
Squidward: [with his face deformed angrily] SpongeBob, how many times do I have to tell you? I don't believe in ghosts and I never liked you! [closes door]

Flying Dutchman: Actually, I have a confession, SpongeBob. My ship's been done for 3 months now. Well, it was nice roomin' with ya. [flies back up to his ship] Oh yeah, I almost forgot! I left you a little something something for all your trouble. Now, it's time for me to ruin more souls. [ships sails off. SpongeBob opens the package. A hand grabs the sponge and eats him and belches SpongeBob laughs]
SpongeBob: Hahaha! Good Ol' Dutchie!

Episode 11Edit

Whale of a Birthday (11.1)Edit

Boys Who Cry: ("It's all about you") It's all about you, girl... on your 16th birthday!
Pay attention to you, girl, everyone has to do just what you say.
You get your very own spotlight tonight, cuz it's all about you!
Yeah, it's all about Pearl! [to Pearl] You're the birthday girl!

Karate Island (11.2)Edit

Episode 12Edit

All That Glitters (12.1)Edit

[At the hospital, the spatula's hospital bed from the start of the episode, with the pulse meter slowing, then becomes a flat line]
SpongeBob: Spatula?? It can't be true. It's too late! [cries]
Doctor: SpongeBob, I-I hate to tell you this...
SpongeBob: I know. He's moved on to the big kitchen drawer in the sky. Hes gone! [sobs]
Doctor: Actually, it's not that. I didn't get the acting part.
SpongeBob: Oh, I'm so sorry.
[SpongeBob cries some more]
Doctor: Oh, by the way, that's not your spatula. Your buddy's all patched up in the infirmary.
[The scene pans over to the Infirmary where Spat is in a wheelchair]
SpongeBob: [gasps] Spatula!
[SpongeBob runs into the infirmary]
SpongeBob: Oh, buddy! Oh, I'm so glad you're better!
[Spat turns around and ignores SpongeBob]
SpongeBob: Spatula, what's wrong?
[Spat shakes its head]
SpongeBob: But I didn't mean to betray you. Mr Krabs needed a replacement. Krabby patties don't flip themselves, you know. It was a moment of weakness. I'm sorry-y-y-y! Oh, what have I done? What have I done?
[SpongeBob begins crying and rolls. As he is doing this, another SpongeBob comes up into the scene]
SpongeBob #2: [while the real SpongeBob is sobbing on the floor] All that glitters is not gold.
[SpongeBob is still crying, spatula wheels itself away]
SpongeBob: Good-bye, best friend.
[SpongeBob crawls crying all the way to the Krusty Krab kitchen]
SpongeBob: I'll never find another spatula like him, again which means the Krusty Krab is out of business.
[SpongeBob notices a spatula flipping patties by itself]
SpongeBob: Spatula? You're back!
[SpongeBob jumps for spatula in slow motion, The camera cuts to outer space]
SpongeBob: Oh, spatula, now that we're together again, nothing will ever separate us.
[Back at the Krusty Krab]
Squidward: One monster Krabby Patty.
[The same real set of hands put a bunch of meat on the grill as before]
SpongeBob: Okay, buddy, we can do this. Ready? One, two, three. [SpongeBob's arms come off] D'oh!
[SpongeBob laughs at the audience]

Wishing You Well (12.2)Edit

Mr. Krabs: [upon learning about wishing wells] Suckers throw money down a well for fun? That's the greatest scam ever!

SpongeBob: [singing] Take a penny and some magic, even though your life is tragic.
Squidward: Hey!
SpongeBob: You can throw all your dreams down the well.
Although everyday the pain grows you ride unicorns on rainbows if you throw all your dreams down the well.
When your life's come apart at the seams and you've given up all your dreams, here is just the means to make those dreams come true.
No more suffering, no more sighin', no more pain and no more cryin'.
Squidward: I'm not "cryin'"! [SpongeBob hits him with wand] Ow. Ow.
SpongeBob: When you throw all your dreams down the well.

Plankton: [to wishing well] I have presented you with a monetary offering as custom dictates. My wish - nay, my command - is to be taller! Just a little. Just big enough so I can crush my enemies like the vermin they are!

SpongeBob/Patrick: Tag, you're it.

SpongeBob: [singing] Oh, the magic has gone missin' and everyone's still wishin' but their dreams have fallen flat upon the ground.
You'll find magic under rubble so, Patrick, grab a shovel and here is where the magic can be found.
We're at the bottom of a well, but man won't it be swell when we make everyone's wishes all come truuuuee.

Squidward: You're making me claustrophobic.
Patrick: What does "claustrophobic" mean?
SpongeBob: It means he's afraid of Santa Claus.
Squidward: No, it doesn't!
Patrick:: HO HO HO! [giggles]
SpongeBob: Patrick, stop! You're scaring him!
Patrick:: HO HO HO!

Squidward: Come on, SpongeBob! This hole's not going to dig itself. [adds to himself] And I'm certainly not going to do it.

Mr. Krabs: You'll never get me to believe in magic, NEVER! Just to prove it to you, I'll demonstrate. [takes out a penny and walks over to the well] I wish I was a steamed red crab, served with a side of melted butter! [laughs as he tosses the penny in]
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, NOOOOOO!!
Mr. Krabs: Well, where's your magic now? [disappears; the camera pans to Mr. Krabs as a steamed crab on a plate] Hey, it worked! [a side of melted butter is placed next to him] What's going on? [a man puts on an apron with a picture of a red crab silhouette that reads "THE END"] Uh-oh. [has an idea; quickly and cautiously] I do believe in magic, I do believe in magic, I do believe in magic! OOOH, NOOOOOO!!

Episode 13Edit

New Leaf (13.1)Edit

[Mr Krabs walking into the Chumporium. Plankton is dusting off his knickknacks]
Plankton: Ah. A clean snow globe is a happy snow globe. [laughs]
Mr. Krabs: Plankton! You may have fooled everyone else, you might have even fooled yourself, but you ain't fooling me.
Plankton: Oh, I get it. You caught me red-handed. [laughs then sighs] Those were the days, huh, Eugene?
Mr. Krabs: Grr...
Plankton: But I found there more to life than just trying to steal your formula. And I found it all right here in novelty items.
Mr. Krabs: Bubkes.
Plankton: Ah, Eugene. Stuck in your old ways.
Mr. Krabs: Bubkes! If there's one thing certain in this world, it's that you can't resist me formula. [takes out the formula] You know you want it.
Plankton: Thanks… but no.
Mr. Krabs: A-ha, I knew it. [chuckles] It was all a trick to get me to hand over... Wait, did you say no?
Plankton: Well, if you don't believe me, that's your problem not mine.
Mr. Krabs: Problem?! I don't have a problem! You're the one with the problem! Look at this. It means nothing. It's all a facade, a hoax, a con, a front... [throws a shelf down; Plankton gasps] ...A sham, a snow job... [throwing the snow globes onto the ground and breaking them] ...Bologna with a side of flimflam and an order of Jive! See?! Who's the one with the problem?!
Plankton: Look what you've done. This is my livelihood.
Mr. Krabs: Sure it is. And this isn't the formula that you don't want. Come on, eh? Eh? Oop. Too slow. [chuckles]
Plankton: [very angry, screaming] GEEEEEEET OOUUUUUUUT!!!
Mr. Krabs: [gasps] Oh, I get it. Stick to your guns, and eventually we'll all believe it. Soften us up and when our backs are turned, you'll make your move. [drops the formula] Oops.
Plankton: What's this? [groans] Hey, Krabs!
Mr. Krabs: I knew you'd come back.
Plankton: You forgot something. [throws the formula back at Mr. Krabs] Can't you understand I've wasted so much time chasing after you? And now I have something that's mine. And it makes me happy.
[Plankton walks back into the Chumporium]
Mr. Krabs: I never thought I'd see the day. What happened to the invertebrate I used to know? I don't... [cries loudly, he runs across the road and falls down crying some more]

Once Bitten (13.2)Edit

Episode 14Edit

Bummer Vacation (14.1)Edit

Patrick: [puts his finger in his head] Huh, I didn't even know I had an ear.

Patrick: [has just returned to his house after his work shift, only to find that SpongeBob is already under his rock, kneeling in the corner] Huh?
SpongeBob: Who do they think they are? I've given the best years of my life to this place and they think they can just fire me like that? Like TRASH? I don't think so...
Patrick: [concerned] SpongeBob, is that you?
SpongeBob: [turns to Patrick with a demented look on his face] I've been waiting for you, Patrick! [Patrick gasps as SpongeBob menacingly advances towards him]
Patrick: SpongeBob, you're scaring me! AAAAAAAAAAAAAH! [SpongeBob laughs maniacally as he continues towards Patrick]

Wigstruck (14.2)Edit

Episode 15Edit

Squidtastic Voyage (15.1)Edit

Sandy: [Over the speaker] Good work, guys. Mission accomplished. [The scene returns to her] Now all you have to do is...
[Squidward pushes Sandy out of the way]
Squidward: Get out of my body! Go!
Patrick: Grow?
[Patrick presses the grow button. The alarm starts up. The scene becomes a split screen. The left has Sandy, the Middle has Squidward, and the right has SpongeBob]
Sandy/Squidward/SpongeBob: No!

That's No Lady (15.2)Edit

Business fish: Hey! [Patrick looks around confused] Hey, you there!
Patrick: Who, me?
Business fish: Yes, you! GET OUTTA TOOOOWWN! [Patrick, shocked, runs away screaming; the business fish stands confused before another fish comes by] Get outta town... and take a vacation to beautiful Sunny Seashores Resort! Here ya go, sir. [Shows a flier for a vacation]

Business fish: That's it! Get outta town!
Partick: (hugs Spongebob) He's onto us!
Spongebob: I won't let you do it! You'll have to do something horrible to me before I let you throw Patrick out of town.
Squidward & Mr. Krabs: PATRICK?!?!

Episode 16Edit

The Thing (16.1)Edit

[Back at SpongeBob's house]
SpongeBob: Well, Smelly, here you are. Your new home. Oh, Smelly, this is going to be great. We'll be one big happy family. Let me show you around. Here's your bed, Smelly. [muffled whimpering from Smelly] Here's your food bowl.
Patrick: And some kibble. [pours in some food]
SpongeBob: You can live here forever and ever. [Smelly cries] Oh, look, Pat. He's crying tears of joy. Well, Smelly, there's one more family member you haven't met. [retrieves Gary] Smelly meet Gary. [Gary sticks to Smelly] Aww, look at that Smelly, Gary likes you. [Gary screeches like a cat and attacks Smelly] Gary, no! [gets Gary off of Smelly] Gary. [Gary hisses]
Patrick: I don't think Gary likes Smelly.
SpongeBob: Yeah, Gary's never attacked anyone like that except Squidward. I guess Smelly can't live here.
Patrick: Ah! He can come home with me.
SpongeBob: That's a great idea, Patrick. You always wanted a pet. [Smelly tries to escape through the door but keeps falling down] Isn't that cute? Look how excited he is to get to your house. [opens door] Bye, Smelly, have fun at Patrick's. [Smelly tries to get into Squidward's house]
Patrick: No, no, Smelly. Squidward doesn't like pets.

Hocus Pocus (16.2)Edit

Patrick: Hi, SpongeBob, whatcha doing?
SpongeBob: I have turned poor Squidward into a frozen dessert!
Patrick: That's awful, how tragic, poor Squidward.
SpongeBob: This is all my fault!
Patrick: Did you say frozen dessert? [takes the white ice cream cone out of the freezer]
SpongeBob: Yeah, I turned him into a tasty soft-serve with a waffle cone. [cries]
Patrick: Oh, soft serve. [licks ice cream cone]
SpongeBob: Patrick, stop eating Squidward!

Episode 17Edit

Driven to Tears (17.1)Edit

Announcer: Congratulations. You are the one millionth person to pass the test.
Patrick: Does this mean I win a free keychain?

SpongeBob: Now, you can put this plate on your boatmobile.
Patrick: Oh, I don't the... boatmobile anymore.
SpongeBob: What...?
Patrick: It wasn't working. So, I threw it away. The needle was on E (means empty), so I guess that means "end".

Patrick: Learning tastes good!

Patrick: 58 is like, the luckiest number ever!

Mr. Krabs: [after making SpongeBob man the drive-thru] It's for those people on the open road, living their dreams.
SpongeBob: I used to have a dream.
Mr. Krabs: Yeah? I used to have a kidney stone. Everything passes eventually. [he scurries away as Patrick pulls up to the drive-thru and beeps his horn loudly]
Patrick: The horn still works!

Rule of Dumb (17.2)Edit

[Cut to Krusty Krab where SpongeBob enters with medieval clothes on]
SpongeBob: Good townspeople, let us rejoice in welcoming our new king.
[Patrick enters, wearing his crown and a royal cloak]
Patrick: King needs food badly.
Mr. Krabs: What's this all ab... [gasps. Sees Patrick's crown and dollar signs appear in his eyes] Well, well, well. What can I do for you, Patrick?
SpongeBob: The king would like...
Mr. Krabs: Zip it, SquarePants... I'm talking to the rich guy.
Patrick: I'll have ten Krabby Patties, a Krabby milkshake, large fries...
Mr. Krabs: I've got a better idea.

Episode 18Edit

Born to be Wild (18.1)Edit

Patrick: Hello, SpongeBob. [realizes] Bloodthirsty bikers! Ah! We got to hide! [both run and scream then run into each other. Both run and scream again and keep hitting each other until they run through Jellyfish Fields. Patrick and SpongeBob hide in a giant clam until it spits them out. The giant clam uses mouthwash after that]
Giant Clam #2: Hey, what happened to you?
Giant Clam #1: [groaning] I... I don't want to talk about it, man.

SpongeBbob: Bikini Bottom, your salvation is here.
Patrick: See? *shows his mouth drooling*
SpongeBob: Uh no Patrick, that's your salavation.

Squidward: Has it ever crossed your mind that you might be getting all worked up over nothing?
SpongeBob: Squidward, when have I ever been known to overreact? [Numerous flashbacks]
SpongeBob: Squidward, we're out of napkins! [cries] Out of napkins!
[SpongeBob is shown banging on Sqidward's door]
SpongeBob: Squidward, I accidentally removed the do not remove under penalty of law tag on my mattress! Hide me! Hide me!
[The next flashback shows nothing but dark]
SpongeBob: Squidward! Squidward, I've gone blind! [Squidward turns the lights on] Oh. Thanks, Squidward.
[Flashbacks end]
Squidward: SpongeBob, you always overreact to everything! It's one of your many annoying traits.
SpongeBob: Me, annoying? [starts laughing annoyingly] Yeah, right.
Squidward: You are so wrong about everything, SpongeBob, that the only thing that I am completely sure about is that there is no motorcycle gang headed this way. [motorcycles approaching] What was that?
Mr. Krabs: Ahoy there, mateys. Motorized vehicles headed over the horizon.
Squidward: What? [grabs binoculars] Gimme that. [sees The Wild Ones coming. His eyes pop through the binoculars as he screams] Don't just stand there, save us!
SpongeBob: Patrick, I know this looks like the end, but you and I can get through anything. As long as we do it together. [Patrick is already running away] Patrick? Patrick! [Patrick is headed into Jellyfish Fields and to the bus stop where a bus picks him up and takes him to a plane. Patrick jumps out of the plane and onto a rocket] Well, it's just you and me, Squidward. But I want you to know that we can get through this. As long as we...
Squidward: PANIC! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! [customers gasp] THE WILD ONES ARE COMING! [everyone screams and runs]
Lenny: The Wild Ones?! [jumps into a sardine box] Mable, get the kids! [Mable jumps into the sardine box with Susie and Tyler and then closes it]

Mr Krabs: Wait! Don't you wanna spend your money?
Old Guy: Don't you wanna kiss the seat of my pants?

Best Frenemies (18.2)Edit

Episode 19Edit

Squid Wood (19.1)Edit

SpongeBob: How about Duck, Duck, Hermit Krab? Hopscotch? Squidward Says? Steal The Bacon? Sleeping Sea Lions? Sharks and Minnows? Sink the Submarine? Kings and Queens? Mahjong? [Squidward is beginning to fume so he picks up SpongeBob and shakes him] Whoa, I've never played this game before. What's it called?
Squidward: It's called, "I will never play with you... EVER!!" [throws SpongeBob in a hole and moves the refrigerator over it]

Mini Squid: Yep, those were the days.
SpongeBob: I guess it's time for you to move on, huh? Onto greener pastures. Arrivederci, mon frere.
Milo: Alright, kid, let's go become a sensation. Oh, and I'll see you at the Clammy Awards. Oh no, I guess I won't. [laughs]
SpongeBob: [Squidward cries] Bye-bye! What's the matter, actual-size Squidward?
Squidward: My dreams are crushed. But, hey, at least I won't see that Mini Squid ever again!
SpongeBob: Yeah, I have something even better! [takes out a mini SpongeBob] Another me! [Mini Sponge and SpongeBob laugh back and forth while Squidward's eye twitches]

Episode 20Edit

Best Day Ever (20.1)Edit

SpongeBob: [singing] Mr. Sun came up and he smiled at me.
Mr. Sun: [singing] ...It's gonna be a good one, just wait and see!
SpongeBob: Jumped out of bed and I ran outside.
Feeling so extra-ecstatticfied!
It's the best day ever!
Chorus: [singing] Best day ever!
SpongeBob: Hey, Gary.
Gary: Meow. [translation - "Why's this the best day ever, SpongeBob?"]
SpongeBob: "Why is this the best day ever", you ask? Because, Gary, I get to start this wonderful day bringing life to a whole new generation of delicious Krabby Patties... followed by a vigorous mid-day session of karate with Sandy... and an afternoon jellyfishing with Patrick, where I'll unveil my newest, most prized possession: the Deluxe Jelly Slayer Composite Pro! ...And for the grand finale, every one of my closest friends joining together for Squidward's clarinet recital. I am so excited I think I'm gonna EXPLODE! [explodes into pieces then walks out of his house; singing] It's the best day ever!
Chorus: Best day ever!
SpongeBob: It's the best day ever!
Chorus: Best day ever!
SpongeBob: It's the best day ever!
Chorus: Best day ever!
SpongeBob: It's the best day ever!
Chorus: Best day ever! [SpongeBob laughs]

Mrs. Puff: Certainly.

SpongeBob: [singing] My perfect job starts my perfect day. [flips a patty]
Then it's time to kick back, relax and play. [practices karate with Sandy who kicks him into land next to Patrick in a jellyfish scene]
Mr. Krabs: That wasn't in the budget!
SpongeBob: Sing along.
Hear that happy sound.
Patrick: [singing] Don't let those sour notes bring you down.
Squidward: Hey!
SpongeBob: That's where it's at! [crashes spotlight]
Mr. Krabs: I'm not paying for that!
SpongeBob: It's the best day ever!
Chorus: Best day ever!
SpongeBob: It's the best day ever!
Mr. Krabs, Sandy, Patrick and Squidward: Best day ever!
SpongeBob: It's the best day ever!
Chorus: Best day ever!
SpongeBob: It's the best day ever!
Chorus: Best day ever!
Squidward: How long do we have to keep this up?
Mr. Krabs: Just till his little heart gives out, Squidward. Just till his little heart gives out.

The Gift of Gum (20.2)Edit

Robo 2.1: Greetings. I am Robo 2.1, your personal robot servant. I am proficient in providing over 250,000 creature comforts. Would you care for a pastry?
[shoots a pastry into Patrick's mouth]
Patrick: Yum. Sweet, hot, and juicy. SpongeBob, this is a great gift.

Patrick: Oh, that's easy. [chews all the gum up, with lawnmower sounds] I told you it was easy. [tummy rumbles. He hiccups a giant ball of gum and it pops over Bikini Bottom. Gum covers the 4 characters as their shapely figure] Wow! This is the best Best Friends Day ever!

External linksEdit