South Park: The End of Obesity

South Park: Seasons: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 | Bigger, Longer & Uncut | Specials: The Streaming Wars, Joining the Panderverse, (Not Suitable for Children), The End of Obesity

South Park (1997–present) is an adult animated television series created by Trey Parker and Matt Stone. Distributed by and airing on Comedy Central, it follows the surreal adventures of four young boys who live in the small town of South Park, Colorado.

Randy: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Where are you going?
Shelley: I'm going to school.
Randy: Not looking like that, you aren't.
Shelley: Not looking like what?
Randy: We've talked about this, Shelley. You don't go to school wearing shirts that show off your body like that.
Shelley: All the girls at school dress like this, Dad. Mom already said it was okay.
Randy: What?
Sharon: It's really just the fashion now, Randy.
Randy: I don't care if it's the fashion, I don't want my innocent little daughter going to school dressed like a cum whore! Go put on a different shirt.
Shelley: [defiantly] No! I don't have to. My body's not a distraction, it's perfect, and you can't tell me what to do.
Randy: You're gonna get stared at all day. Little boys are perverts.
Shelley: Mom already said I could wear it!
Randy: [mocking her; nasally] "Mom already said I could wear it!"
Shelley: You're stupid! The school says girls can wear shirts like this so I can do what I want!
Randy: Okay, cool, then maybe I'll just wear whatever I want to school to come pick you up later!
Shelley: [walks out of the front door] GO AHEAD! [slams the door and leaves]
Randy: [frustrated] Ugh!
Sharon: She's gonna be fine, Randy. She's just growing up.
Randy: Oh, she's gonna be fine? Okay. Mark my words. If you walk around wearing a shirt that exposes your belly, you end up with a bad group of people doing a bunch of drugs. You'll see.

Kyle: Okay, Cartman, if your doctor wants to put you on medication, your insurance will pay for it.
Cartman: No, they said the insurance won't pay for it 'cause, um, they're kind of new drugs, and so the only people that can get them are people who can pay 1,200 bucks a month and the rest of us get this. [takes out his Lizzo prescription]
Kyle: What's this?
Cartman: It's a prescription for Lizzo. Rich people get Ozempic, poor people get body positivity.

Randy: Towelie! You're not gonna believe this. Dude, have you ever done GLP-1 peptides?
Towelie: GLP pep what now?
Randy: There's these new, crazy drugs people are doing. It's like cocaine and molly mixed together. They make women go crazy.
Towelie: No, really?
Randy: Yeah. Last night I was partying with nine hot MILFs, and this morning I woke up, and guess what? I don't feel like total shit. It's like a miracle drug.
Towelie: You partied all night and felt fine the next morning?
Randy: Totally fine. There's, like, nothing wrong with me.
Towelie: Wow. You want half a breakfast burrito?
Randy: No, I'm good. I seriously thought maybe I couldn't do hard drugs anymore 'cause of all the downsides the next day, but this, like, changes everything. There's another rager at Mable Thompson's house tomorrow. I can't fuckin' wait.

Cartman: I need to make a cereal bomb. Get me Cocoa Puffs, Cap'n Crunch, and a bucket of KFC. Hurry!

Cartman: [as Laura tries to take away his second obesity drug peptide dose] No, this is mine!
Laura: Give it to me, fatso!
Cartman: Fuck you, I need that!
Laura: Give me the peptide, you little fat fuck!

Cap'n Crunch: You ain't taking this shit to your compounding pharmacy!
Randy: What's a compounding pharmacy?

Stan: Tony the Tiger killed Kenny!

Linda: Butters, what are you doing?!
Butters: Oh, hey, Mom!
Linda: Butters, you give Mommy those obesity drugs right now!
Butters: But I thought you didn't use obesity drugs, Mom. I thought you were doing Pilates and stuff.