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Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!

television series

Season 1Edit

Dads [1.1]Edit

Announcer: And now, the only married news team in the tri-county area, Jan and Wayne Skylar! With Special news correspondent, Dr. Steve Brule.
'Dr. Steve Brule: 'I'm not ready. I'm not ready yet.
Jan and Wayne Skylar (singing): Princess grew up little
Wayne Skylar: Back to you Steve.
Jan Skylar: Someone tell him we're live. Steve, back to you.
Wayne Skylar: Steve Brule!
Dr. Steve Brule: I'm sorry. Jan. I'm not ready. We don't have the fruit.

Friends [1.2]Edit

Cat [1.3]Edit

Salame [1.4]Edit

Chunky [1.5]Edit

(Talking to Carol)
Mr. Henderson: This is just the way I like it, man! Good enough for a poke, right?

Slop [1.6]Edit

Tragg (played by Fred Willard): Slop in the morning, slop in the evening, slop for supper time. Slop 'till ya' drop, kids!

Abstinence [1.7]Edit

Cinco Banking System: Do you live in a hole or a boat?

Eric Wareheim: Neither.

Cinco Banking System: Okay, I didn't get that. I think you chose BOAT. Is that right?

Eric Wareheim: No!
Cinco Banking System: Okay. Let's move on. Is your BOAT a C-Class Licensed Boat or is your boat used for commercial fishing?
Cinco Banking System: Okay. I think you've chosen COMMERCIAL FISHING. Now I'm going to need your boat's name.

Eric Wareheim: What is going on here?

Cinco Banking System: Okay. I think you've said: TAARGÜS. Is this correct?

Eric Wareheim: What?? No!!

Cinco Banking System: Just to make sure I've gotten all the information correct, I'm going to need to confirm a few more things.

Eric Wareheim: Hello?? I need some help please....
Cinco Banking System: You new name is: ERIC TAARGÜS. Is this correct?

Cinco Banking System: Okay. I'll go ahead and make that change.

Cinco Banking System: Great. I've made the change. Your wife's new legal name is: TAARGÜS TAARGÜS. Is this okay?

Eric Wareheim: No!!!!!

Cinco Banking System: Great. We're sending her the following VHS tape. You've chosen: PIZZA BOY.

Eric Wareheim: Excuse me! My wife can't get this in the mail...

Anniversary [1.8]Edit

Grum [Singing]: I like crackers and snacks, crackers and snacks, crackers and snacks. I like crackers and snacks, crackers and snacks, crackers and snaaaacks.

Hamburger [1.9]Edit

Missing [1.10]Edit

Season 2Edit

Live in Vegas [2.1]Edit

Vacation [2.2]Edit

Eric: You look like a man I could be a best friend with

Tim: It took a lotta guts

Raz: Shells on the neck, shells on the wris
Now string 'em all up
Get the shells on the ankle
Underwater camera, disposable camera!

Dad's Off [2.3]Edit

Tim Heidecker: You're a great son, probably one of the best.

Spagett : Spagett!

Dolls [2.4]Edit

Palmer Scott:
This is what I do,
This is what I do.
This is what I do, I sit on you.

Coma [2.5]Edit

Forest [2.6]Edit

Tairy Greene: Shhh... SHUT UP! It's time for snuggle...

Carol [2.7]Edit

Mr. Henderson: How many breakfasts did you have this morning?

Carol: Just the one, sir.

Mr. Henderson: Looks like you had about 4 or 5, lookin like a burrito this morning.

Mr. Henderson: Lar, whaddya say, poke or no poke?

Larry: Definitely no poke.

Mr. Henderson: "Hear that Carol? No one wants to do ya, you're a waste."

Robin [2.8]Edit

Innernette [2.9]Edit

Jeff Goldblum: (Advertising for the Jeffgoldbluman Group) It's a sizzler. Please watch.

Molly: This is magnificent, James.

David Cross : (as James, creator of PussyDoodles): Why thank you, Molly.

Molly: Love what you've done with the colors-

James [covering Molly's mouth with his hand]: SHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhh! Don't tell anyone. It's just my Pussy-Dooo'les.

Eric Wareheim: "Wait a second Tim, what about all my e-worms and e-mail viruses?"

Pepperoni [2.10]Edit

Embarrassed [2.11]Edit

Cinco Voiceover: If D'ump detects a Bear in the area, it just shuts down!
[Two young boys stare at their D'ump contraption for an estranged period of time. D'ump is entirely unresponsive.]

Eric Wareheim [pointing at a naked baby picture of Tim]: ..Hey, Who's this?
Tim Heidecker [Blushing a bit]: Yeah, well that's my mom. So-
Eric Wareheim: Yeah, but what's this. [Points at Tim's small wiener in the picture]
Tim Heidecker [Glowing Red]: ...That's my Penis.

Eric Wareheim: For one thing, Tim was an average sized man.

Dr. Steve Brule: (inebriated) That's our Show! (pulls cloth off the table, spilling all of the wine)

Season 3Edit

Awesome Tour Live [3.1]Edit

Resurrection [3.2]Edit

Chan [3.3]Edit

Rascals [3.4]Edit

Eric Wareheim: You killed my RASCAL!
Tim Heidecker [Sobbing, turning away]: NO I DIDN'T!

Spagett [3.5]Edit

C.O.R.B.S. [3.6]Edit

Tan Man: Me, me, I'm a tan man and a boatman.

Jim and Derrick [3.7]Edit

Jim Heckler: You've been bonged! Penis

Jazz [3.8]Edit

Eric: Because kids do not like jazz-
Tim: Nor should they

Muscles For Bones [3.9]Edit

Larry [3.10]Edit

(Larry opens fire on Mr. Henderson; Carol takes the bullet and slumps to the ground)

Mr. Henderson: Ya blew it.

Brownies [3.11]Edit

Season 4Edit

Snow [4.1]Edit

The episode opens to a typical 1980s sitcom format. Tim and Eric are singing the lyrics to the show. They are as follows: "Life is strange, You don't need a woman to tell you, And though we fly on the wings of change, You know we're together for good."

The show was created by J. Allen Griz. Executive Producers are: J. Allen Griz, Brayne Varner and Corby Tender.

Balls [4.2]Edit

Universe [4.3]Edit

Eric: I do this every night with your son.


Road Trip [4.4]Edit

Tim Heidecker [Driving van, talking via Phone]: Pack up your things, Buddy. We're goin' on a lil' road Trip.
Eric Wareheim [Smiling]: Road Trip.
Tim Heidecker: Mhm Heh heh, Road trip!
Eric Wareheim: Road Trip!
Tim Heidecker[Screaming]: ROAD TRIP!
Eric Wareheim: Roooaadd trip! [Packs his Suitcase] Reewdtraap! Reewdtraaap! Rooooaaaaddd Triiiiip!

Tommy [4.5]Edit

Tim Heidecker: When Tommy said we were going to be working with THE Jessica Alba, my eyes lit up in the back of my head. I said, "J..Jesc'a Alba? I.. I'm a fan of Jesssc'a Alba."

Origins [4.6]Edit

Eric Wareheim:"You know what, Tim, there's already a site'm sorry."

Presidents [4.7]Edit

Tim Heidecker: Premium? More like CREAMULUM.
Tim Heidecker: Rick Wareheimer wears a straw hat at home in his house - he goes outside without the hat, but if you seem in his house he does wear a small straw hat.

Hair [4.8]Edit

Tim Heidecker: I hope you don't wear that bigafric'n haaaaaii.

Eric Wareheim: Ihopeidon'twearthat bigafricannnhaaaiii?

Eric Wareheim (Leans close to Tim's ear) : I'M NOT GONNA WEAR MY BIG AFRICAN HAT TO YOUR PARTY!

Tim Heidecker: ...Alright, you're comin'.

Brothers Cinco [4.9]Edit

I no clean. I'm not clean


Tennis [4.10]Edit

Eric Wareheim [3.12]Edit

"Oh my god, I can't wait."
"I hate these old men."

External linksEdit

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