NCIS: Los Angeles (season 4)

NCIS: Seasons (1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17) | Los Angeles: Seasons (1 2 3 4 5 6 7) | New Orleans: Seasons 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

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NCIS: Los Angeles is an American police procedural television series, which premiered on CBS on September 22, 2009. The series aired in the 9:00 p.m. timeslot following NCIS which airs at 8pm on Tuesdays for Seasons One-Five then the show moved to Mondays at 10e/9c for seasons 6 and 7 then moved to Sundays at 8pm for Season 8 NCIS LA now airs at Sundays at 9e/8c. On January 14, 2010 the show was renewed for a second season. The show is currently going into its eleventh season.

Recruit [4.2]

Kensi: You didn't give me a chance to miss you, Deeks.

Deeks: Is that why you turned your cell phone off?

Kensi: I turned my cell phone off because I was at a yoga retreat, and I needed to relax.

Deeks:: Uh, wait a minute. You don't do yoga. I do yoga, and you mock me for it.

Kensi:: That's because I do it for spiritual centering. You, on the other hand, do it to pick up chicks.

---

Hetty: When I'm gone, I'm gone. No ceremony, no memorials, and absolutely no bringing of flowers to my grave.

Callen: Don't worry. There will be none of that.

Hetty: Good.

Callen: From what I hear, Granger is going to have you stuffed in a lifelike pose for his office.

Hetty: Don't be cheeky.

---

Callen: Thank you. Oh, that's so good. You sure you're not hungry?

Sam: Not now. What the hell is that?

Callen: Fish tacos.

Sam: What kind of fish?

Callen: The kind that swims in the ocean. Mmm.

Sam: How could you eat something without even knowing what it is? That could have been last week's bait, for all you know. Even looks like chum.

Callen: Carlos is the Iron Chef of the food trucks.

Kensi: Smells good over here. What's for lunch?

Sam: Mystery fish.

Deeks: Oh, Deep Sea Surprise is back?

Callen: Help yourself.

Deeks: Seriously? Mm-hmm. Nice. Sharesies?

Kensi: No, thank you. And don't say "sharesies."

Sam: All right. How'd you two make out?

Kensi: Parents are in denial. Their son worked at L. A. County Beach and Harbor and has a girlfriend, Mary Clark, who we are on our way to go see now.

Deeks: [eating a fish taco] This is delicious.

Sam: Too bad you don't know what it is.

Deeks: Sure I do. It's a Lake Superior white fish. I'd say caught in a gill net. Probably two or three days ago.

Sam: [groans]

Deeks: What? I'm a surfer I know my fish.

Kensi: Yeah, he's kind of like a trained seal, only without the "trained" part.

Sam: Or the "SEAL" part.

Dead Body Politic [4.4]

Nell: Our friend Chaucer has led a big life. He's descended from a long line of award-winning poodles.

Kensi: Chaucer was flown to Paris twice, to breed.

Deeks: He was paid to have sex in Paris? I should have been born a dog. (Kensi stares at him) I walked into that one, didn't I?

---

Deeks: Hmm... think I'm gonna have to go spend some time with him, alone.

Kensi: Why? What's going on?

Deeks: Nothing. I just got a way with animals.

Kensi: Okay, when you say it like that, it sounds really creepy.

---

Granger: I left DC to escape politics.

Hetty: Owen, you can't escape politics. You either play or get played.

---

Hetty: (to Kensi) I once ruled Nicaragua for 72 hours. Don't ask.

Skin Deep [4.7]

Deeks: (about his love for Donny and Marie) Is that so wrong? Does that make me a bad person?

Kensi: Not at all. Just a little bit creepy.

Deeks: Oh, good, then that doesn't change anything between us.

Collateral [4.8]

Granger: So, would you do it again?

Hetty: Without hesitation, Owen. Two lives saved hundreds of others.

Granger: Well, Potter planted the bomb, but it was your finger on the detonator.

Hetty: Not everyone can do what we do. The secrets we live with, the personal sacrifices we make. I just pray the world's a better place for them. I didn't choose this life, Owen. It chose me. All you can do is keep your head down, your gun up and your conscience clear.

---

Nell: Somebody is out there trying to kill her.

Eric: I know, we've got to stay cool. This is Hetty, right? She's always three steps ahead of everyone. She's tactically brilliant, ridiculously courageous, experienced, resourceful. I mean, if Mata Hari and Genghis Khan had a daughter, it'd be Hetty.

Nell: Or General Patton and Joan of Arc.

Eric: Exactly. Her kung fu is strong, and her magic is powerful. Say it.

Nell: Her kung fu is strong, and her magic is powerful.

Eric: Don't underestimate Hetty. She never underestimates us.

---

Callen: She blew me off.

Sam: I ignore you all the time; it never bothered you before.

Callen: Something's up.

Sam: Something's always up with Hetty.

The Gold Standard [4.9]

Callen: The man who can keep a secret may be wise, but he is not half as wise as the man who has no secrets to keep.

Hetty: Edgar Watson Howe. And yet it's a necessary evil in our business, I'm afraid.

Free Ride [4.10]

Callen: I know that look.

Sam: You're starting to sound like my wife. You know what they say when your partner starts sounding like your wife?

Callen: Get a new wife?

Sam: I'm gonna pretend you didn't say that.

Drive [4.11]

Kensi: She might feel more comfortable with a sympathetic female.

Deeks: I don't know, I'm pretty in touch with my feminine side.

Kensi: Yeah, see, that's the problem. If you did have a feminine side, you'd be touching it all the time.

Deeks: Wow. And yet, so true.

Paper Soldiers [4.12]

Kensi: Well, if you must know, I've killed another house plant. That is fourteen since July.

Deeks: Wait. That's it? That's the source of your sourness?

Kensi: It was a cactus.

Callen: You killed something that thrives in Death Valley?

Kill House [4.14]

Nell: Can I ask you guys a question?

Callen: Go ahead.

Nell: Um, when do you stop being afraid of you know, busting into places, guns blazing?

Callen: When you trust your training.

Nell: That's easier said than done.

---

Deeks: Do we get a safety word?

Sam: What do you think?

Deeks: I was hoping for a yes.

Kensi: This isn't one of your bondage sessions, Deeks.

Deeks: She's kidding, but if you hear me yell noodles that means I'm in trouble.

Callen: If I hear you yell noodles, I'm gonna shoot you myself.

History [4.15]

Deeks: I cannot wait to retire.

Sam: You know, you actually got to do some work before you can retire from something, Deeks.

Deeks: Just gonna sit on that beach with my dog, Monty Junior, Junior. You know, just checking out the lady birds in their bikinis.

Kensi: See, you're only young once, but you can be immature forever.

Deeks: Preach it Sister!

Wanted [4.17]

Kensi: Promise me you'll never do that.

Deeks: What's that?

Kensi: Get yourself killed.

Deeks: Well the good news for you is I have a natural aversion at death so...

Kensi: I'm not kidding.

Deeks: Ok.

---

Deeks: (to Kensi) You smell like sunshine and gunpowder...two of my favorite things.

Kensi: Eww. You're like wet dog.

---

Snyder: He also likes blondes.

Kensi: All right, I will wear a wig, but I will not dye my hair for this man.

Sabatino: Wouldn't help. You're not his type.

Kensi: [Long pause] What's his type?

[Snyder and Sabatino smirk and look at Deeks]

Deeks: No. Really?... Come on!

Red [4.18]

Part 2 [4.19]

Deeks: Wonder what it would be like-- you, me, Red Team...

Kensi: Unbearable.

Deeks: ...working together.

Kensi: We're supposed to be working an unsolved murder case in which the victim was shot in the back of the head with a low-velocity round, Deeks.

Deeks: Living together. Me walking in on you in the shower. Or the bunk room. You walking in on me in the shower. Or the bunk room.

Kensi: You walking in on Sam or Hetty.

Deeks: Who invited them?

Kensi: We're a team, aren't we?

Deeks: Yeah. No, two people can be a team.

Kensi: Mm. How many case files have you reviewed?

Deeks: Seven.

Kensi: Mm?

Deeks: Almost.

Kensi: 33.

Deeks: 33?!

(phone ringing)

Kensi: Get on it!

Deeks: (clearing his throat) Detective Marty Deeks, Cold Case Division. (laughs) Oh. Yes. Hi... Hetty. Yes. No, we're... Right now? Ops on the double.

Purity [4.20]

Kensi: We'll take the bikini bar.

Deeks: What? We will?

Kensi: I don't like to see him beg. And plus, he would mope all the way to Point Mugu if we didn't.

Deeks: This is fantastic news, but I don't beg.

Kensi: Oh, you beg.

Deeks: I definitely don't mope. 'Cause you're the moper. You're, like, Mopey Dick

Resurrection [4.21]

Kensi: Look, I am taking a leap here with this babysitting thing. It would be really nice to have my partner there to back me up. That is, if he takes me up on it.

Deeks: You want to play house?

Callen: They want to play house, Sam. At your house, when you're not there.

Sam: Oh, yeah? I have nanny cams. Everywhere.

Deeks: That's okay, 'cause I do some of my best work on camera.

Kensi: Oh, thank you for an image I will never be able to get out of my head.

Raven & The Swans [4.22]

Callen: Our boy got a briefcase.

Sam: Lap top probably inside.

Callen: What are the chances of getting that away from him long enough to access the computer?

Sam: Creating a distraction and grabbing the case 10 seconds, breaking the combination if it's locked another 20, copying the files 2 minutes.

Callen: Outsmarting the bad guys?

Sam: Priceless!

---

Sam: (referring to Callen and Hetty) Yeah, you two are cut from the same cloth.

Callen: Hardly. Hetty is, uh, hand-painted silk. I'm more of a--

Sam: Itchy polyester?

Callen: I was gonna say denim.

Sam: Well-worn denim.

Callen: What the hell's that supposed to mean?

Parley [4.23]

(phone rings)

Monica: Yeah? Hello? Hello?

Kensi: I think they hung up. [flashing her badge] NCIS.

Monica: What?

Kensi: Too many letters? Federal agent.

Monica: [tries to run but gets into a fist fight with Kensi] Back off, bitch. I mean it. [fight continues]

Deeks: Freeze!

Monica: Max, what are you doing? Shoot her!

Kensi: Sorry, honey, he's with me. And his real name is Marty Deeks, and he's a cop, and he's my partner. Who's the bitch now?

Monica: He is.

Kensi: Can't argue with that.

---

G. Callen: That whole motherland thing's overrated. I mean, look at me. I come from a line of blood-feuding gypsies who keep trying to kill me. How's that justice?

---

Deeks: I was just going to see if you were good.

Kensi: Yeah. You?

Deeks: I mean, I'm good if you are good.

Kensi: I'm good.

Deeks: Okay, good. We're good. Which is, you know... great.

Kensi: Glad we cleared that up.

Descent [4.24]

(Deeks is looking at Kensi after he kissed her)

Deeks: How's that for communication?