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Eleventh Doctor

fictional character from Doctor Who
(Redirected from Amy Pond)
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This page is a collection of quotations from the era of the eleventh official incarnation of The Doctor from the BBC science fiction television programme Doctor Who, during which the role of the Eleventh Doctor was played by Matt Smith from 2010 to 2013. For further appearances in Big Finish Audio Plays, he was portrayed by Jacob Dudman.

Doctor Who — Incarnations of The Doctor : 1st - 2nd - 3rd - 4th - 5th - 6th - 7th - 8th - War - 9th - 10th - 11th - 12th - 13th - 14th - 15th
There are fixed points throughout time where things must stay exactly the way they are. This is not one of them, this is an opportunity. Whatever happens here will create its own timeline, its own reality, a temporal tipping point. The future revolves around you, here, now, so do good!
I'm not running away from things, I am running to them. Before they flare and fade forever.

Recurring Phrases

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"Geronimo!"
In The End of Time, Part Two.
In The Eleventh Hour.
In The Beast Below.
In City of the Daleks (Video game, x2).
In The Lodger (by Craig Owens)
In The Big Bang. (typed)
In A Christmas Carol.
In The Almost People.
In The Wedding of River Song.
In Asylum of the Daleks (by Amy Pond)
In Dinosaurs on a Spaceship.
In The Power of Three.
In Hide.
In Journey to the Centre of the TARDIS.
In The Day of the Doctor (x2).
In Deep Breath (by Clara Oswald and the Twelfth Doctor)
"Bow ties are cool."
In The Eleventh Hour.
In Meanwhile in the TARDIS 1.
In Amy's Choice.
In Vincent and the Doctor.
In The Lodger.
In The Big Bang. (Variation: "Fezzes are cool.")
In The Impossible Astronaut (Variation: "Stetsons are cool.")
In The Doctor's Wife (Variation: "Bunk beds are cool.")
In A Good Man Goes to War.
In The Girl Who Waited (Variation: "Glasses are cool.")
In The Snowmen.
In The Bells of St. John (Variation: "Monks (i.e., monastic robes) are not cool!")
In The Time of The Doctor (Variation: "Cool is not cool!")
"Come along, Pond!"
In Victory of the Daleks.
In The Time of Angels.
In The Big Bang. (Written, and variation: "Come along, Ponds.")
In Death of the Doctor, Part Two (SJA, Variation: "Come along, Smith.")
In A Christmas Carol (Typed.)
In Let's Kill Hitler
In Closing Time (Variation: "Come along, Bitey.")
In The Angels Take Manhattan
"Yowzah!"
In The Almost People
In The Angels Take Manhattan
In The Name of the Doctor

Television Series

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Series 4

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The End of Time, Part Two [4.18]

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(1 January 2010)
The Tenth Doctor: I don't want to go.
[The Doctor regenerates, the energy blowing out the windows of the TARDIS and setting the console room ablaze. The Doctor screams as his eleventh incarnation emerges. He stumbles, stunned, then starts taking stock of his new body]
The Doctor: Legs! I've still got legs! [kisses one of them.] Good! Arms, hands. Oooh, fingers. Lots of fingers. Ears? Yes. Eyes: two. Nose... I've had worse. Chin—blimey! Hair... [notes length, shocked] I'm a girl! [checks Adam's apple.] No, no! I'm not a girl! [pulls a lock of his hair in front of his eyes and looks at it, annoyed] And still not ginger! There's something else. Something... important, I'm... [taps head, trying to remember] I'm... I'm... [The whole console room shakes, explosions; the Doctor laughs, ecstatic] Ha-ha! CRASHING! [As the burning TARDIS falls to Earth, the Doctor clings to the console, laughing and whooping with glee.] Geronimoooooooooooo!

Series 5

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All of time and space; everywhere and anywhere; every star that ever was. Where do you want to start?
The Doctor: All of time and space, everything that ever happened or ever will...Where do you want to start?

The Eleventh Hour [5.1]

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I need... I need... fish fingers… and custard!
 
I'm Amelia and you're late.
(3 April 2010)
 
They said you weren't real.
 
You're worse than my aunt!
 
There's something you better understand about me, 'cause it's important and one day your life may depend on it. I am definitely a madman in a box
Amelia: If you're a doctor, then why does your box say "police"? [She gives him the apple. He bites it and spits it out.]
The Doctor: That's disgusting. What is that?
Amelia: An apple.
The Doctor: Apple's rubbish. I hate apples.
Amelia: You said you loved them.
The Doctor: No, no, no. I love yoghurt. Yoghurt's my favorite. Give me yoghurt. [Amelia runs, retrieves yoghurt and hands it to him. The Doctor opens it, gulps it down, then spits it out] I hate yoghurt! Just stuff with bits in it.
Amelia: You said that it was your favorite!
The Doctor: New mouth, new rules. It's like eating after cleaning your teeth. Everything tastes wrooong! Ahh! [he convulses]
Amelia: What is it? What's wrong with you?
The Doctor: Wrong with me? It's not my fault. Why can't you give me any decent food? You're Scottish. Fry something! [Amelia turns on the stove and cooks.] Ahh, bacon. [Eats it and spits it out] Bacon. That's bacon. Are you trying to poison me? [Amelia cooking baked beans.] Ah, you see? Beans. [Eats then spits in sink.] Beans are evil! Bad, bad beans! [Amelia spreading butter on bread, looking sceptical] Bread and butter. [Smiling] Now you're talking. [The Doctor throws the plate of bread and butter out of the door like a Frisbee, cat howls, dog barks] And stay out!
[The Doctor paces in the kitchen while Amelia looks in the fridge.]
Amelia: Got some carrots...
The Doctor: Carrots?! Are you insane?! No, wait, hang on. I know what I need. [Searching the fridge] I need... I need... I need... [pulls out a box of fish fingers] fish fingers [takes out a carton of custard] and custard!
The Doctor: So what about your mum and dad, then? Are they upstairs? I thought we'd have woken them by now.
Amelia: I don't have a mum and dad, just an aunt.
The Doctor: I don't even have an aunt.
Amelia: You're lucky.
The Doctor: I know. [An awkward pause] So your aunt, where's she?
Amelia: She's out.
The Doctor: Has she left you all alone?!
Amelia: I'm not scared!
The Doctor: Of course you're not! You're not scared of anything! Box falls out of the sky, man falls out of the box, man eats fish custard, and look at you! Just sitting there! So you know what I think?
Amelia: [shrugging] What?
The Doctor: Must be one hell of a scary crack in your wall.
The Doctor: You know when grown-ups say, "Everything's gonna be fine," and you think they're lying to make you feel better?
Amelia: [rolls her eyes, as though she's heard this all too many times before] Yes.
The Doctor: [smiles] Everything's gonna be fine.
[The Doctor finds out that he's been gone for twelve years, when he was told he was gone for six months. He turns to Amy.]
The Doctor: Why did you say six months?
Amy: [watching Prisoner Zero] He’s coming. We gotta go.
The Doctor: This matters - this is important! Why did you say six months?
Amy: [full on Scottish accent] WELL, WHY DID YOU SAY "FIVE MINUTES"?!
[The Doctor realizes exactly who this woman is: A much older Amelia Pond]
The Doctor: What...?
Amy: Come on!
The Doctor: What?!
Amy: [grabbing him] COME ON!!
The Doctor: WHAT?!
The Doctor: You're Amelia!
Amy: You're late!
The Doctor: Amelia Pond! You're the little girl!
Amy: I'm Amelia, and you're late.
The Doctor: What happened?
Amy: Twelve years!
The Doctor: You hit me with a cricket bat!
Amy: Ha! Twelve years!
The Doctor: A cricket bat!
Amy: Twelve years, and four psychiatrists!
The Doctor: Four?
Amy: I kept biting them!
The Doctor: Why?
Amy: They said you weren't real.
The Doctor: And what sort of job's a kissogram?
Amy Pond: I go to parties and I... kiss people...
[The Doctor looks at her, appalled]
Amy Pond: [clears throat] With outfits. It's a laugh!
The Doctor: You were a little girl five minutes ago!
Amy Pond: You're worse than my aunt!
The Doctor: I'm the Doctor; I'm worse than everybody's aunt! [catches himself] And that is not how I'm introducing myself.
The Doctor: [looking at Prisoner Zero, which is disguised as him] Well, that's rubbish. Who's that supposed to be?
Rory: It's you.
The Doctor: Me? Is that what I look like?
Rory: You don't know?
The Doctor: Busy day.
The Doctor: Is this world a threat to the Atraxi? Well, go on, you're monitoring the whole planet. Is this world a threat?
Atraxi: [does a quick scan of life on Earth] No.
The Doctor: Are the peoples of this world guilty of any crimes punishable by the laws of the Atraxi?
Atraxi: [scans through multiple historical atrocities] No.
The Doctor: Okay. One question, just one more: Is this world protected?
[The Atraxi scans through multiple invasions from among others, Daleks, Cybermen and Sea Devils]
The Doctor: You're not the first lot to have come here. Oh, there have been so many. But the real question you have to ask yourself is...what happened to them?
[The Atraxi then scans through images of every previous incarnation of the Doctor before the current one steps through the hologram, now properly dressed]
The Doctor: Hello. I'm the Doctor. Basically... Run.
[The Atraxi does so, retreating back up into the sky]
Amy: It's you. You came back.
The Doctor: 'Course I came back, I always come back. Something wrong with that?
Amy: And you kept the clothes.
The Doctor: Well, I just saved the world, the whole planet, for about the millionth time, no charge. Yeah, shoot me! I kept the clothes.
Amy: Including the bow tie.
The Doctor: [self-conscious] Yeah, it's cool. Bow ties are cool. [fixes it]
Amy: Are you from another planet?
The Doctor: Yeah.
Amy: ...'Kay.
The Doctor: So, what do you think?
Amy: What?
The Doctor: Other planets, wanna check some out?
Amy: What does that mean?
The Doctor: It means... well... it means... come with me.
Amy: [sharp] Where?
The Doctor: Wherever you like.
Amy: All that stuff that happened, the hospital, the spaceships, Prisoner Zero...
The Doctor: Oh, don't worry, that's just the beginning. There's loads more.
Amy: Yeah, but those things, those amazing things, all that stuff... [pause, deep breath, then, angrily] That was TWO. YEARS. AGO!
The Doctor: Oh... [weak chuckle] Oops.
Amy: Yeah!
The Doctor: So that's--
Amy: Fourteen years!
The Doctor: Fourteen years since fish custard! Amy Pond, the girl who waited. You've waited long enough.
Amy Pond: When I was a kid, you said there was a swimming pool and a library, and the swimming pool was in the library.
The Doctor: Yeah, not sure where it's got to now. It'll turn up. So, coming?
Amy Pond: No.
The Doctor: You wanted to come fourteen years ago.
Amy Pond: I grew up.
The Doctor: Don't worry, I'll soon fix that.
[The Doctor snaps his fingers and the TARDIS door opens, revealing a brand new console.]

The Beast Below [5.2]

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(10 April 2010)
Amy: One little girl crying, so?
The Doctor: Crying silently. I mean, children cry because they want attention, because they're hurt or afraid. But when they cry silently, it's because they just can't stop. Any parent knows that.
Amy: Are you a parent?
Liz Ten: [on video message] The Earth was burning. Our sun had turned on us and every other nation had fled to the skies. Our children screamed as the skies grew hotter. And then it came, like a miracle - the last of the Star Whales. We trapped it, we built our ship around it, and we rode on its back to safety. If you wish our voyage to continue, then you must press the Forget button. Be again the heart of this nation, untainted. If not, press the other button. Your reign will end, the Star Whale will be released, and our ship will disintegrate. I hope I keep the strength to make the right decision.
Amy: I voted for this. Why would I do that?
The Doctor: Because you knew if we stayed here, I'd be faced with an impossible choice. Humanity or the alien. You took it upon yourself to save me from that. [sternly] And that was wrong. You don't ever decide what I need to know.
Amy: I don't even remember doing it!
The Doctor: You did it. That's what counts.
Amy: I'm... I'm sorry.
The Doctor: Oh, I don't care. When I'm done here, you're going home. [heads for the controls]
Amy: Why? Because I made a mistake? One mistake? I don't even remember doing it! Doctor!
The Doctor: [dismissive] Yeah, I know. You're only human.
Liz Ten: What are you doing?
The Doctor: The worst thing I'll ever do. I'm going to pass a massive electrical charge through the Star Whale's brain - should knock out all its higher functions, leave it a vegetable. The ship will still fly, but the Whale won't feel it.
Amy: [horrified] That'll be like killing it.
The Doctor: Look, three options: One, I let the Star Whale continue in unendurable agony for hundreds more years. Two, I kill everyone on this ship. Three, I murder a beautiful, innocent creature as painlessly as I can... and then I-- I find a new name, because I won't be "The Doctor" anymore.
Liz Ten: There must be something we can do, some other way--
The Doctor: Nobody talk to me; nobody HUMAN HAS ANYTHING TO SAY TO ME TODAY!

Victory of the Daleks [5.3]

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(17 April 2010)
The Doctor: Amy, Winston Churchill!
Churchill: Doctor?... is it you?
The Doctor: Winston, my old friend! [Churchill puts out his hand] Ha! Every time!
Amy: What's he after?
The Doctor: TARDIS key, of course.
Churchill: Think of what I could achieve with your remarkable machine, Doctor! Think of the lives that could be saved.
The Doctor: Ah, doesn't work like that.
Churchill: Must I take it by force?
The Doctor: I'd like to see you try.
Churchill: [to the soldiers] At ease.
Dalek: Would you care for some tea?
The Doctor: [slaps tea from Dalek's tea tray] Stop this! What are you doing here? What do you want?!
Dalek: We seek only to help you.
The Doctor: To do what?
Dalek: To win the war.
The Doctor: Really? Which war?
Dalek: I do not understand.
The Doctor: This war against the Nazis or your war against the rest of the universe? The war against all lifeforms that are not Dalek?
Dalek: I do not understand. I am your soldier.
The Doctor: Okay, okay! [Picks up a large spanner] Okay, soldier, defend yourself! [beats Dalek with spanner repeatedly]
Bracewell: What the devil?!
Dalek: You do not require tea?
Bracewell: Stop him! Prime Minister, please!
Churchill: Doctor!
The Doctor: Come on!
Churchill: What the devil?
The Doctor: Come on! Fight back! I know you will!
Bracewell: I must protest!
The Doctor: You hate me! You want to kill me! Well, go on! Kill me! Kill me!
Amy: Doctor, be careful!
Dalek: Please desist from striking me. I am your soldier.
The Doctor: [He accentuates each word by hitting the Dalek each time] YOU! ARE! MY! ENEMY! And I am yours! You are everything I despise. The worst thing in all creation. I've defeated you. Time and time again, I've defeated you. I sent you back into the Void. I saved the whole of reality from you. I AM THE DOCTOR AND YOU ARE THE DALEKS!
[He kicks the Dalek backwards]
Dalek: [long pause, then] Correct.
Amy: So what do we do? Is this what we do now? Chase after them?
The Doctor: This is what I do, yeah, and it's dangerous, so you wait here.
Amy: So I've got to stay safe down here... in the middle of the London Blitz?!
The Doctor: Safest it gets around me.
[He closes the door and the TARDIS disappears, leaving Amy and Churchill.]
Amy: Well, what does he expect us to do now?
Churchill: KBO, of course.
Amy: What?
Churchill: Keep Buggering On.
The Doctor: The question is, what do we do now? Either you turn off your clever machine or I'll blow you and you new paradigm into eternity.
Supreme Dalek: And yourself.
The Doctor: Occupational hazard.
Strategist Dalek: Scan reveals nothing; TARDIS self destruct device non-existent!
The Doctor: Alright, [takes a bite out of the 'self-destruct'] it's a Jammie Dodger, but I was promised tea!
The Doctor: You're bluffing! There isn't a sincere bone in your body-- there isn't a bone in your body.

The Time of Angels [5.4]

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Nobody move; everybody, stay exactly where you are. Bishop, I am truly sorry, I've made a mistake, and we're all in terrible danger.
(24 April 2010)
 
I'm sorry you're dead, Bob, but I swear to whatever is left of you, they will be sorrier.
[The Doctor and Amy are standing over an exhibit in a museum, a futuristic black box]
The Doctor: The writing... the graffiti: Old High Gallifreyan. The lost language of the Time Lords. There were days, there were many days, where these words could burn stars, raise up empires, and topple gods.
Amy: What does this one say?
The Doctor: [hesitates, then, exasperatedly] "Hello, sweetie!"
The Doctor: A Weeping Angel, Amy, is the deadliest, most powerful, most malevolent life form evolution has ever produced, and right now one of them is trapped inside that wreckage and I'm supposed to climb in after it with a screwdriver and a torch, and assuming I survive the radiation long enough and assuming the whole ship doesn't explode in my face, do something incredibly clever which I haven't actually thought of yet. That's my day, that's what I'm up to. Any questions?
Amy: Is River Song your wife?
Amy: What do you mean it's a statue when you see it?
River: The Weepings Angels can only move if they're unseen. So legend has it.
The Doctor: No, it's not a legend, it's a quantum lock. In the sight of any living being, the Angels literally cease to exist. They're just stone: the ultimate defense mechanism.
Amy: What? Being a stone?
The Doctor: Being a stone... until you turn your back.
The Doctor: Amy Pond, you are magnificent, and I'm sorry.
Amy: It's okay, I understand. You've got to leave me.
The Doctor: Oh, no, I'm not leaving you, never! I'm sorry about this! [bites her hand. Amy yelps] There, see? Not stone, now run!
Amy: You bit me!
The Doctor: Yeah, and you're alive.
Amy: Oh, I've got a mark, look at my hand!
The Doctor: Yes, and you're alive! Did I mention?
Amy: Blimey, your teeth, have you got space teeth?!
The Doctor: Yeah, alive, all I'm saying!
Angel Bob: Doctor? Can I speak to the Doctor, please?
The Doctor: Hello, Angels. What's your problem?
Angel Bob: Your power will not last much longer, and the Angels will be with you shortly. Sorry, sir.
The Doctor: Why are you telling me this?
Angel Bob: There's something the Angels are very keen you should know before the end.
The Doctor: Which is?
Angel Bob: I died in fear.
The Doctor: I'm sorry?
Angel Bob: You told me my fear would keep me alive. But I died afraid, in pain and alone. You made me trust you, and when it mattered, you let me down.
Amy: What are they doing?
River: They're trying to make him angry.
Angel Bob: I'm sorry, sir. The Angels were very keen for you to know that.
The Doctor: Well then... the Angels have made their second mistake, because I'm not going to let that pass. I'm sorry you're dead, Bob, but I swear to whatever is left of you, they will be sorrier.
Angel Bob: Sorry, can I ask again? You mentioned a "mistake" we made?
The Doctor: Oh, big, big mistake, really huge. Didn't anyone ever tell you? There's one thing you never put in a trap. If you're smart, if you value your continued existence, if you have any plans about seeing tomorrow, there's one thing you never, ever put in a trap.
Angel Bob: And what would that be, sir?
The Doctor: Me.

Flesh and Stone [5.5]

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(1 May 2010)
Amy: What if the gravity fails?
The Doctor: I've thought about that.
Amy: And?
The Doctor: We'll all plunge to our deaths. See? I've thought about it! [examines the door] Ah, the security protocols are still live. There's no way to override them; it's impossible!
River: How impossible?
The Doctor: Two minutes.
Father Octavian: Dr. Song, I've lost good clerics today. This Doctor, you trust him?
River: I absolutely trust him.
Father Octavian: He's not just some sort of madman?
[beat]
River: I absolutely trust him.
Angel Bob: Doctor? Excuse me, hello, Doctor? Angel Bob here, sir.
The Doctor: Ah, there you are, Angel Bob. How's life? Sorry, bad subject.
Angel Bob: The Angels are wondering what you hope to achieve.
The Doctor: Achieve? We're not achieving anything. We're just hanging, it's nice in here: consoles; comfy chairs; a forest... how's things with you?
Angel Bob: The Angels are feasting, sir. Soon we will be able to absorb enough power to consume this vessel, this world, and all the stars and worlds beyond.
The Doctor: Yeah, but we've got comfy chairs. Did I mention?
Angel Bob: We have no need of comfy chairs.
The Doctor: [amused] I made him say "comfy chairs".
Father Octavian: Our mission is to make this wreckage safe and neutralize the Angels. Until that is achieved—
River: [strained] Father Octavian, when the Doctor's in the room, your one and only 'mission' is to keep him alive long enough to get everyone else home! And trust me, it's not easy! Now if he's dead back there, I'll never forgive myself. And if he's alive, I'll never forgive him. [Pause] And Doctor, you're standing right behind me, aren't you?
The Doctor: Oh, yeah.
River: I hate you.
The Doctor: No, you don't.
The Doctor: We're too exposed everywhere. And Amy can't move. And besides, that's not the plan.
River: There's a plan?
The Doctor: I don't know. I haven't finished talking yet.
[Octavian is trapped in an Angel's grip]
Father Octavian: Please, sir, you have to leave me.
The Doctor: You'll die.
Father Octavian: I will die in the knowledge that my courage did not desert me at the end. For that, I thank God and bless the path that takes you to safety.
The Doctor: I wish I had known you better.
Father Octavian: I think, sir, you know me at my best.
The Doctor: Ready?
Father Octavian: [closing his eyes] Content.

The Vampires of Venice [5.6]

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(8 May 2010)
[Rory is at his stag party; music is playing; there is a paper cake in the middle of the pub. The men cheer for the "beautiful woman" to come out of the cake, however to their surprise the Doctor pops out instead. Rory shakes his head as he realizes who it is.]
The Doctor: Rory! [feedback whines; music stops] That's a relief! I thought I had burst out of the wrong cake. Again. That reminds me, there's a girl standing outside in a bikini. Can someone let her in, give her a jumper? Lucy. Lovely girl. [whispers] Diabetic. [everyone continues staring at him] Now then, Rory, we need to talk about your fiancee. [Rory smiles] She tried to kiss me. [Crowd draws breath; Rory is visibly shocked] Tell you what though, you're a lucky man; she's a great kisser! [Glass smashes; Doctor realizes what he just said, and looks visibly embarrassed and ashamed] Funny how you can say something in your head and it sounds fine.
Doctor: [To Amy] Okay, we go in, say that you're my daughter—
Amy: Daughter! You look about nine!
Doctor: Brother, then.
Amy No, too weird. Fiance.
The Doctor: It's a lot to take in, isn't it? Tiny box, huge room inside; what's that about? Let me explain...
Rory: It's another dimension.
The Doctor: It's basically another dimen-- [realizes] ...what?
Rory: After what happened with Prisoner Zero, I've been reading up on all the latest scientific theories. FTL travel, parallel universes...
The Doctor: I like the bit when someone says "It's bigger on the inside!" I always look forward to that. [The Doctor looks annoyed, then grins]
[The Doctor looks in a mirror]
The Doctor: Hello, handsome.
Calvierri Girls: Who are you?
[Looks at the mirror and then at the girls, realizing that they cast no reflection]
The Doctor: How are you doing that? I am loving it! You're like Houdini, only five slightly scary girls. And he was shorter... will be shorter. I'm rambling.
Calvierri Girls (all): I'll ask you again, signore: who are you?
The Doctor: Why don't you check this out? [Shows them a card with a picture of the First Doctor; long pause as the girls look confused; he looks at the card and remembers that he has left the psychic paper with Rory] Library card, of course! It's with... he's... [gestures in front of his face to imitate Rory's long nose] ...I need a spare. Pale, creepy girls who don't like sunlight... and can't be seen... ah, am I thinking what I think I'm thinking? But the city, why shut down the city?
Calvierri Girls: Leave now, signore, or we shall call for the steward. [smile darkly] If you're lucky.
The Doctor: [camp] Ooh! [They bare long fangs and approach the Doctor; he goes to the stairs, then spins around toward them] Tell me the whole plan! [The girls hiss] One day that'll work. [He backs away] Listen, I would love to stay here. This whole thing... I'm thrilled! Oh, this is Christmas!
Amy: Hey, look at this. I got my spaceship, I got my boys... my work here is done. [struts into the TARDIS, head held high]
Rory: [scoffs] Uh, we are not her "boys."
The Doctor: Yeah, we are.
Rory: [pause] Yeah, we are.
[As the Doctor is about to enter the TARDIS, everything falls silent; there is no sound from anything. Looks back, and is stunned to see every living thing in the Venetian marketplace has mysteriously disappeared].
The Doctor: Rory, listen to that.
Rory: Er, what? All I can hear is... silence.
The Doctor: Exactly.
[The Doctor and Rory step back into the TARDIS, the Doctor visibly unnerved]
Signora Rosanna Calvierri: [voice-over] There were cracks. Through some we saw silence and the end of all things...

Amy's Choice [5.7]

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(15 May 2010)
The Doctor: You've swallowed a planet!
Amy: I'm pregnant.
The Doctor: You're huge!
Amy: Yeah, I'm pregnant!
The Doctor: Look at you: when worlds collide!
Amy: Doctor, I'm pregnant.
The Doctor: Oh, look at you both. Five years later, and you haven't changed a bit! Apart from age, and size...
Amy: Oh, it's good to see you, Doctor.
The Doctor: Are you pregnant?
The Doctor: Oh, this is bad! I don't like this! [kicks console and yells in pain] NEVER use force, you'll just embarrass yourself. Unless you're cross, in which case... always use force!
Amy: Shall I run and get the manual?
The Doctor: I threw it in a supernova.
Amy: You threw the manual in a supernova? Why?
The Doctor: BECAUSE I DISAGREED WITH IT! Now stop talking to me when I'm cross!
The Dream Lord: It's make-your-mind-up time... in both worlds.
The Doctor: Bye. I need to find my friends.
The Dream Lord: Friends? Is that the right word for the people you acquire? Friends are people you stay in touch with. Your friends never see you again once they've grown up. The old man prefers the company of the young, does he not?

The Hungry Earth [5.8]

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(22 May 2010)
The Doctor: Oh, look, a big mining thing. Oh, I love a big mining thing. See? Way better than Rio. Rio doesn't have a big mining thing.
Amy: (groans) We're not going to have a look, are we?
The Doctor: Let's go and have a look.
Tony: You're not making sense, man!
The Doctor: Excuse me, I'm making perfect sense. You're just not keeping up.
Elliot: Soon as I'm old enough, I'll be off.
The Doctor: I was the same where I grew up.
Elliot: Did you get away?
The Doctor: Yeah.
Elliot: Do you ever miss it?
The Doctor: So much.
Elliot: Is it monsters coming? Have you met monsters before?
The Doctor: Yeah.
Elliot: You scared of them?
The Doctor: No, they're scared of me.
The Doctor: [after he removes the Silurian's mask] You’re beautiful. A remnant of a bygone age on Planet Earth. And by the way, lovely mode of travel. Geothermal currents projecting you up through a network of tunnels. Gorgeous! Mind if I sit? Now! Your people have a friend. I want her back. Why did you come to the surface? What do you want? Oh I do hate a monologue, give us a bit back. How many are you?
Alaya: I’m the last of my species.
The Doctor: Really? No! “Last of the species.” The Clempari defense. As an interrogation defense it’s a bit old hat I’m afraid.
Alaya: I’m the last of my species.
The Doctor: No, you’re really not. Because I’m the last of my species and I know how it sits in a heart. So don’t insult me! Let’s start again. Tell me your name.
Alaya: Alaya.
The Doctor: How long’s your tribe been sleeping under the Earth, Alaya? It’s not difficult to work out. You’re 300 million years out of your comfort zone. Question is, what woke you now.
Alaya: We were attacked.
The Doctor: The drill.
Alaya: Our sensors detected a threat to our life support systems. The warrior class was activated to prevent the assault, wipe the vermin from the surface and reclaim our planet.
The Doctor: Do we have to say “vermin”? They’re really very nice.
Alaya: Primitive apes.
The Doctor: Extraordinary species; you attack them, they’ll fight back. But! There’s a peace to be brokered here. I can help you with that.
Alaya: This land is ours. We lived here long before the apes.
The Doctor: Doesn’t give you automatic rights to it now, I’m afraid. Humans won’t give up the planet.
Alaya: So we destroy them.
The Doctor: You underestimate them.
Alaya: You underestimate us!
The Doctor: One tribe of homo reptilia against six billion humans—you’ve got your work cut out.
Alaya: We did not initiate combat! But we can still win.
The Doctor: Tell me where my friend is. Give us back the people who were taken.
Alaya: No.
The Doctor: I’m not going to let you provoke a war, Alaya. There’ll be no battle here today.
Alaya: The fire of war is already lit. A massacre is due.
The Doctor: Not while I’m here.
Alaya: I’ll gladly die for my cause! What will you sacrifice for yours?

Cold Blood [5.9]

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(29 May 2010)
The Doctor: There are fixed points throughout time where things must stay exactly the way they are. This is not one of them. This is an opportunity! Whatever happens here will create its own timeline, its own reality, a temporal tipping point. The future revolves around you, here, now, so do good!
The Doctor: Bringing things to order, the first meeting of the representatives of the human race and homo reptilia is now in session. [laughs] Never said that before. That's fab.
The Doctor: [Urgently] Keep him in your mind. If you forget him, you'll lose him forever.
Amy: [Sobbing] Back at the Byzantium... I still remember the clerics, because I'm a time traveller now, you said —
The Doctor: No. They weren't part of your world. This is different, this is your own history changing!
Amy: Tell me it's going to be okay! You have to make it okay!
The Doctor: It's going be hard, but you can do it, Amy! Tell me about Rory, eh? Fantastic Rory! Funny Rory! Gorgeous Rory! Amy, listen to me. Do exactly as I say. Amy, please keep concentrating. You can do this!
Amy: I can't!
The Doctor: You can! You can do it. I can't help you unless you do it, Come on, you can still save his memory. Come on, Amy! [Flashbacks] Please, come on, Amy, come on. Amy, please. Don't let anything distract you! [Flashbacks] Remember Rory. Keep remembering. Rory's only alive in your memory. You must keep hold of him. Don't let anything distract you. Rory still lives in your mind.
[The TARDIS suddenly shudders, knocking them to the ground and breaking her concentration]
Amy: [Brightly] Sorry, what were you saying?

Vincent and the Doctor [5.10]

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We're so lucky we're still alive to see this beautiful world. Look at the sky. It's not dark and black and without character. The black is in fact deep blue. And over there! Lighter blue. And blowing through the blueness and the blackness, the winds swirling through the air. And there shining, burning, bursting through, the stars! Can you see how they roar their light? Everywhere we look, complex magic of nature blazes before our eyes!
(5 June 2010)
Amy: Please tell me you have a plan.
The Doctor: No, I have a thing. It's like a plan, but with more greatness.
Vincent: Hold my hand, Doctor. Try to see what I see. We're so lucky we're still alive to see this beautiful world. Look at the sky. It's not dark and black and without character. The black is in fact deep blue. And over there! Lighter blue. [the starscape slowly transforms into The Starry Night] And blowing through the blueness and the blackness, the winds swirling through the air. And there shining, burning, bursting through, the stars! Can you see how they roar their light? Everywhere we look, the complex magic of nature blazes before our eyes.
Doctor: I’ve seen many things, my friend, but you’re right: nothing quite as wonderful as the things you see.
[The Doctor has taken Vincent forward in time to the van Gogh exhibition in Musée d'Orsay, 2010]
The Doctor: Dr Black? We met a few days ago; I asked you about The Church at Auvers.
Dr Black: Ah, yes; glad to be of help. You were nice about my tie.
The Doctor: And today is another cracker if I may say so. [steering Dr Black into Vincent's vicinity] But I just wondered between you and me in 100 words where do you think Van Gogh rates in the history of art?
Dr Black: Well... big question, but to me, van Gogh is the finest painter of them all; certainly the most popular great painter of all time: The most beloved; his command of colour; the most magnificent. He transformed the pain of his tormented life into ecstatic beauty. Pain is easy to portray, but to use your passion and pain to portray the ecstasy and joy and magnificence of our world... no one had ever done it before. Perhaps no one ever will again. To my mind that strange wild man who roamed the fields of Provence was not only the world’s greatest artist, but also one of the greatest men who ever lived.
[Vincent, already in shock, starts breaking down in tears]
Doctor: Oh, Vincent, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, is it too much?
Vincent: No, they are tears of joy! Thank you sir, thank you! [kisses Dr Black's cheeks in gratitude] Sorry about the beard.
The Doctor: The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things. The good things don’t always soften the bad things, but vice versa the bad things don’t always spoil the good things or make them unimportant. And we definitely added to his pile of good things.

The Lodger [5.11]

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(12 June 2010)
The Doctor: Ah you want to see my credentials… [shows psychic paper] There, national insurance number... [passes psychic paper behind his back] NHS number... [passes psychic paper behind his back again] References.
Craig: [incredulous] Is that a reference from the Archbishop of Canterbury?!
The Doctor: I'm his special favourite. Shhh.
Craig: Where did you learn to cook?
The Doctor: Paris in the 18th century. No, hang on, that's not recent is it? 17th? No no, 20th. Sorry, I'm not used to doing it in the right order.
Craig: Has anyone ever told you that you're a bit weird?
The Doctor: They never really stop. (tiny smile)
Craig: If you ever need me out of your hair, just give me a shout. [winks]
The Doctor: [winks back, pause] Why would I want that?
Craig: Well, in case you want to bring someone over? Like a girlfriend, or... [looks at the Doctor's clothes] boyfriend?
The Doctor: Oh! Oh, yes, yes, I will. I will shout, something like... "I was not expecting this!"
[After the Doctor wins a football match]
Shaun: You are so on the team! We've got the cup next week and we are going to annihilate them!
The Doctor: [sternly] Annihilate? No. No violence, do you understand me? Not while I'm around. Not today, not ever. I'm the Doctor, the Oncoming Storm. [Shaun stares back at the Doctor] And you basically meant beat them in a football match, didn't you?
Shaun: Yeah.
The Doctor: Lovely. What sort of time?

The Pandorica Opens [5.12]

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The question of the hour is, "Who's got the Pandorica?"
(19 June 2010)
 
All of reality is threatened.
 
The cracks in time are the work of the Doctor! It is confirmed! … You will be prevented!
 
The TARDIS is exploding right now, and I'm the only one who can stop it!
[After hearing the Dalek voices being transmitted]
Amy: Daleks. Those are Daleks.
River: Daleks, Doctor.
The Doctor: Yes. Okay, okay, okay, okay. Dalek fleet. A bit over twelve thousand battle ships all armed to the teeth. Ahaah! But we've got surprise on our side! They'll never expect three people to attack twelve thousand battle ships 'cause we'd be killed instantly, so it would be a very short surprise. Forget surprise. [hits his head with his sonic screwdriver]
[A Cyber-arm fires at the Doctor and Amy, who retreat behind the Pandorica]
Amy: What was that?!
The Doctor: Okay, need a proper look. Gotta draw its fire, give it a target.
Amy: How?
Doctor: You know how I sometimes have really brilliant ideas?
Amy: Yes...?
The Doctor: Sorry. [runs out from behind the Pandorica] LOOK AT ME, I'M A TARGET!
The Doctor: Hello, Stonehenge! Who takes the Pandorica, takes the universe! But bad news, everyone, [jumps up from inside Stonehenge] 'cause guess who! Ha! Listen, you lot! You're all whizzing about; it's really very distracting. Could you all just stay still a minute, because I! AM! TALKING! [The ships stop instantly] Now, the question of the hour is, "Who's got the Pandorica?" Answer: I do. Next question: Who's coming to take it from me? [Pause] Come on! Look at me! No plan, no back-up, no weapons worth a damn! Oh, and something else I don't have, anything - to - LOSE! So… if you're sitting up there in your silly little spaceships with all your silly little guns, and you've got any plans on taking the Pandorica tonight, just remember who's standing in your way! Remember every black day I ever stopped you, and then, and then, do the smart thing: Let somebody else try first. [The battleships all retreat to a much higher orbit. To Rory] That should keep them squabbling for half an hour.
The Doctor: The universe is big, it's vast and complicated, and ridiculous. And sometimes, very rarely, impossible things just happen and we call them miracles. And that's the theory. Nine hundred years, never seen one yet, but this would do me.

The Big Bang [5.13]

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The Doctor said the universe was huge and ridiculous and sometimes there were miracles. I could do with a ridiculous miracle about now.
(26 June 2010)
 
The box contains a memory of the universe, and the light transmits the memory — and that's how we're going to do it. … Relight the fire. Reboot the universe.
River: I have questions, but number one is this: What in the name of sanity have you got on your head?
The Doctor: It's a fez. I wear a fez now. Fezzes are cool.
[Amy takes the fez and throws it in the air, and River blasts it into smithereens]
Dalek: You will be exterminated!
River: Not yet. Your systems are still restoring, which means your shield density is compromised. One alpha-meson burst through your eye stalk would kill you stone dead.
Dalek: Records indicate you will show mercy. You are an associate of the Doctor.
River: I'm River Song. Check your records again. [points her gun at the Dalek]
Dalek: [uneasily] Mercy.
River: [menacingly sweet] Say it again.
Dalek: Mercy!
River: One more time.
Dalek: Mercy!
The Doctor: Oh. Ok. I escaped, then. Brilliant. I love it when I do that. [Checks legs] Legs, yes. [Checks neck] Bow tie...cool. [Checks head. Disappointed] I can buy a fez.
The Doctor:[speaking to 7-year-old Amelia, sleeping in her bed, as his timeline unravels] That's funny. I thought if you could hear me I could hang on somehow. Silly me. Silly old Doctor. When you wake up, you'll have a mum and dad, and you won't even remember me. Well, you'll remember me a little. I'll be a story in your head. But that's OK. We're all stories in the end. Just make it a good one, eh? Cause it was, you know. It was the best. A daft old man who stole a magic box and ran away. Did I ever tell you that I stole it? Well, I borrowed it. I was always going to take it back. Oh, that box. Amy, you'll dream about that box. It'll never leave you. Big and little at the same time. Brand new and ancient and the bluest blue ever. And the times we had, eh? Would've had... Never had. In your dreams, they'll still be there. The Doctor and Amy Pond, and the days that never came. The cracks are closing, but they can't close properly until I'm on the other side. I don't belong here anymore. I think I'll skip the rest of the rewind. I hate repeats. Live well. Love Rory. Bye-bye, Pond.
Amy: There's someone missing. Someone important, someone so, so important. Sorry everyone, but when I was a kid, I had an imaginary friend, the Raggedy Doctor, my Raggedy Doctor. But he wasn't imaginary, he was real. [shouting] I remember you! I remember! I brought the others back; I can bring you home too! Raggedy man, I remember you, and you are late for my wedding! [As Amy remembers, the Doctor and the TARDIS starts to materialise in the room] I found you. I found you in words just like you knew I would. That's why you told me the story, the brand new, ancient blue box. Oh clever, very clever.
Rory: Amy, what is it?
Amy: Something old. Something new. Something borrowed. Something blue.
[To triumphant music, the TARDIS returns to the Universe. Amy runs to it and knocks on the door]
Rory: [In the background] It's the Doctor! How could we forget the Doctor? I was plastic! He was the stripper at my stag do!
Amy: Okay Doctor, did I surprise you this time?
[The TARDIS doors open, revealing the Doctor wearing a top hat, white tie and tails]
The Doctor: Er, yeah. Completely astonished. Never expected that. [steps out of the TARDIS wearing a tuxedo] How lucky I happen to be wearing this old thing. Hello, everyone! I'm Amy's imaginary friend! But I came anyway.
Amy: You absolutely, definitely may kiss the bride—
The Doctor: Amelia, from now on, I shall be leaving the... kissing duties to the brand new... Mr. Pond!
Rory: No! I'm not Mr. Pond. That's not how it works.
The Doctor: Yeah it is.
Rory: [looks at Amy and nods] Yeah, it is.

Series 6

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Doctor Who: A Christmas Carol preview - BBC One (2010)
BBC official trailer for Series 6 (2011)

A Christmas Carol [6.X]

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(25 December 2010)
The Doctor: Ah, yes, blimey, sorry. Christmas eve on a rooftop, I saw a chimney... my whole brain just went... “What the hell?” Don’t worry. The fat fella will be doing the rounds later. I’m just scoping out the general... chimney-ness. Yes. Nice size. Good traction. Big tick.
Man: Fat fella?
The Doctor: Father Christmas. Santa Claus. Or, as I’ve always known him, Jeff.
The Doctor: [Pointing to frozen Abigail Pettigrew] Who's she?
Kazran Sardick: Nobody important.
The Doctor: Nobody important? Blimey, that's amazing. You know, that in nine hundred years of time and space, and I've never met anybody who wasn't important before.
The Doctor: Hi, I'm the Doctor. I'm your new babysitter!
Young Kazran: Where's Mrs. Mantebarney?
The Doctor: Oh, you'll never guess, clever ol' Mrs. Manters! She only went and won the lottery!
Old Kazran: [watching on a projector] There isn't any lottery!
Young Kazran: There isn't any lottery.
The Doctor: I know! What a woman!
Young Kazran: If you're my new babysitter, why are you climbing in the window?
The Doctor: Because if I was climbing out of the window, I'd be going in the wrong direction. Pay attention.
The Doctor: Right, so what are we gonna do? Eat crisps and talk about girls? I've never done that, but I bet it's easy. Girls, yeah? [gestures excitedly]
Young Kazran: Are you really a babysitter?
The Doctor: I think you'll find that I'm universally recognized as a mature and responsible adult. [shows him the psychic paper]
Young Kazran: ...It's just a lot of wavy lines.
The Doctor: [looks at the paper] ...Yeah, it shorted out. Finally, a lie too big. Okay, no, not really a babysitter, but this Christmas Eve, you don't want a real one. You want me.
Young Kazran: Why? What's so special about you?
The Doctor: Have you ever seen Mary Poppins?
Young Kazran: No.
The Doctor: Good, because that comparison would have been rubbish.
Young Kazran: [panicked] It’s gonna eat us!
The Doctor: Well, maybe we’re gonna eat it, but I don’t like the odds.
Kazran Sardick: Why are you here?
The Doctor: Because I'm not finished with you yet. You've seen the past, the present... and now you need to see the future.
Kazran Sardick: Fine, do it. Show me. I'll die cold, alone, and afraid. Of course I will. We all do. What difference does showing me make? Do you know why I'm going to let those people die? It's not a plan. I don't get anything from it. It's just that I don't care. I'm not like you. I don't even want to be like you! I don't – and never, ever will – care!
The Doctor: And I don't believe that.
Kazran Sardick: Then show me the future. Prove me wrong.
The Doctor: I am showing it to you. I'm showing it to you right now. So what do you think? [looks over Kazran's shoulder] Is this who you want to become, Kazran?
[Kazran turns to see his younger self watching them]
Young Kazran: ...Dad?

The Impossible Astronaut [6.1]

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(23 April 2011)
The Doctor: I'm being extremely clever up here and there's no one to stand around looking impressed! What's the point in having you all?
River Song: Couldn't you just slap him sometimes?
Nixon: But... who are they and... what is that box?
The Doctor: It’s a police box. Can't you read? I'm your new undercover agent on loan from Scotland Yard. Codename: The Doctor. These are my top operatives: [indicates Amy, Rory, and River in turn] The Legs, The Nose, and Mrs. Robinson.
River: I hate you.
The Doctor: No, you don't.
The Doctor: I'm going to need a SWAT team ready to mobilise, street-level maps covering all of Florida, a pot of coffee, twelve Jammie Dodgers, and a fez.
Canton: Get him his maps.
The Doctor: Dr. Song, you've got that face on again.
River: What face?
The Doctor: The he's-hot-when-he's-clever face.
River: This is my normal face.
The Doctor: Yes, it is.
River: Oh, shut up!
The Doctor: Not a chance.
The Doctor: Be careful!
River: Careful. Tried that once. Ever so dull.
The Doctor: Shout if you get in trouble.
River: Don’t worry, I’m quite the screamer. [Climbs into the tunnel.] Now there's a spoiler for you!
Canton: So, what’s going on here?
The Doctor: Er... Nothing. She’s just a friend.
Rory: I think he's talking about the possible alien incursion.

Day of the Moon [6.2]

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The good news is we have a secret weapon!
(30 April 2011)
 
That's one small step for man...
The Doctor: Oh, this is my friend River. Nice hair, clever, and has her own gun. And unlike me, she really doesn't mind shooting people. I shouldn't like that. Kinda do, a bit.
River: Thank you, sweetie.
The Doctor: I know you're team players and everything, but she'll definitely kill the first three of you.
River: Oh, the first seven, easy.
The Doctor: Seven, really?
River: Oh, eight for you, honey.
The Doctor: Stop it!
River: Make me!
The Doctor: Oh, maybe I will!
Amy: [tied to a chair] Is this really important flirting? 'Cause I feel like I should be higher on the list right now!
The Doctor: Guys? Sorry, but you're way out of time. Now, come on, a bit of history for you. Aren't you proud, 'cause you helped! Do you know how many people are watching this live on the telly? Half a billion and that's nothing, because the human race will spread out among the stars. You just watch them fly. Billions and billions of them for billions and billions of years and every single one of them, at some point in their lives, will look back at this man taking that very first step and they will never ever forget it. Oh, but they'll forget this bit. [on the phone] Ready?
Canton: Ready. [presses Amy's phone to a transmitter, which activates a receiver in the lunar module]
Neil Armstrong: That's one small step for a man...
[The transmission is interrupted by Canton's previous recording of a Silent]
Silent: [repeatedly] You should kill us all on sight.
The Doctor: [overlaying shots of humanity rising up against the Silence] You've given the order for your own execution and the whole planet just heard you.
Neil Armstrong: ...one giant leap for mankind.
The Doctor: And one whacking great kick up the backside for the Silence! You just raised an army against yourself! And now, for a thousand generations, you'll be ordering them to destroy you every day. How fast can you run? Because today's the day the human race throw you off their planet. They won't even know they're doing it. I think, quite possibly, the word you're looking for right now is "Oops". Run! Guys, I mean us! Run!
The Doctor: Don't let them build to full power!
River Song: I know! There's a reason why I'm shooting, honey! What are you doing?
The Doctor: Helping!
River Song: You've got a screwdriver, go build a cabinet!
The Doctor: That's really rude!
River: Shut up and drive!
President Nixon: So we're safe again!
The Doctor: Safe? No! Of course you're not safe! There's about a billion other things out there just waiting to burn your whole world, but if you want to pretend you're safe just so you can sleep at night, then, OK, you're safe. But you're not really.
President Nixon: This person you want to marry. Black?
Canton: Yes...
President Nixon: I know what people think of me. But perhaps I'm a little more liberal...
Canton: [interrupting] ...he is.
President Nixon: [after a long pause] I think the moon is far enough for now; don't you, Mr Delaware?
Canton: [smug] I figured it might be.

The Curse of the Black Spot [6.3]

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Okay, groovy. So you're just not pirates today — we've managed to bag us a ship with a demon popping in. Very efficient. I mean, if something's going to kill you, it's nice that it drops you a note to remind you.
(7 May 2011)
Captain Avery: She can smell the blood on your skin. She's marked you for death.
Rory: She?
Captain Avery: A demon, out there in the ocean.
The Doctor: Okay, groovy. So you're just not pirates today — we've managed to bag us a ship with a demon popping in. Very efficient. I mean, if something's going to kill you, it's nice that it drops you a note to remind you.
The Doctor: [referring to the Siren] OK, so just like a shark in a dress and singing and green. A green singing shark in an evening gown!
The Doctor: And the gun's back. You're big on the gun thing, aren't you? Freud would say you're compensating. Ever met Freud? No. Comfy sofa.
Captain Avery: Wheel?
The Doctor: Atom accelerator.
Captain Avery: It steers the thing.
The Doctor: No! Sort of, yes.
Captain Avery: [gesturing to various TARDIS controls] Wheel, telescope, astrolabe, compass: a ship's a ship.

The Doctor's Wife [6.4]

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(14 May 2011)
The Doctor: …and then we discovered it wasn’t the Robot King after all, it was the real one. Fortunately I was able to reattach the head.
Rory: Do you believe any of this stuff?
Amy: I was there.
The Doctor: I don't understand. Who are you?
Idris: I'm the— Oh, what do you call me? We travel. I go... [makes the TARDIS materialisation noise].
The Doctor: [disbelieving] The TARDIS?
Idris: Time And Relative Dimension In Space. Yes, that's it. Names are funny. It's me. I'm the TARDIS.
The Doctor: No, you're not! You're a bitey mad lady! The TARDIS is up and downy stuff in a big blue box!
Idris: Yes, that's me: a Type 40 TARDIS. I was already a museum piece when you were young, and the first time you touched my console, you said—
The Doctor: [interrupting] I said you were the most beautiful thing I had ever known.
Idris: Then you stole me. And I stole you.
The Doctor: I borrowed you.
Idris: Borrowing implies the eventual intention to return the thing that was taken. What makes you think I would ever give you back?
The Doctor: You're the TARDIS?
Idris: Yes.
The Doctor: My TARDIS?!
Idris: My Doctor! Oh... We have now reached the point of the conversation where you open the lock. [The Doctor unlocks the cage with his Sonic Screwdriver. Idris steps out in front of him] Are all people like this?
The Doctor: Like what?
Idris: So much bigger on the inside. I'm... Oh, what is that word?! It's so... big! So complicated. It's so sad...
The Doctor: Uh, sorry, do you have a name?
Idris: Seven hundred years, finally he asks!
The Doctor: But what do I call you?
Idris: I think you call me... "Sexy."
The Doctor: [alarmed] Only when we're alone!
Idris: We are alone.
The Doctor: Ah. [smiles] Come on then, Sexy.
Idris: Bond the tube directly into the Tachyon Diverter...
The Doctor: Yes, yes; I have actually rebuilt a TARDIS before, you know. I know what I'm doing!
Idris: You're like a nine-year-old trying to rebuild a motorbike in his bedroom. And you never read the instructions.
The Doctor: I always read the instructions!
Idris: There's a sign on my front door. You have been walking past it for seven hundred years. What does it say?
The Doctor: That's not instructions!
Idris: There's an instruction at the bottom. What does it say?
The Doctor: "Pull to open".
Idris: Yes, and what do you do?
The Doctor: I push!
Idris: Every single time, seven hundred years. Police box doors open out the way.
The Doctor: I think I have earned the right to open my front doors any way I want!
Idris: Your front doors? Do you have any idea how childish that sounds?
The Doctor: [growls] You are not my mother!
Idris: And you are not my child.
The Doctor: You know, since we're talking with mouths, not really an opportunity that comes along very often, I just wanna say, you know, you have never been very reliable!
Idris: And you have?!
The Doctor: You didn't always take me where I wanted to go!
Idris: No, but I always took you where you needed to go.
House: Fear me: I've killed hundreds of Time Lords.
The Doctor: Fear me... I've killed all of them.
Idris: I've been looking for a word. A big, complicated word, but so sad... I found it now.
The Doctor: What word?
Idris: "Alive." I'm alive!
The Doctor: "Alive" isn't sad...
Idris: It's sad when it's over. I'll always be here, but this is when we talked. And now, even that has come to an end. There's something I didn't get to say to you.
The Doctor: "Goodbye..."
Idris: No. I just wanted to say, "Hello. Hello, Doctor. It's so very, very nice to meet you."
The Doctor: You okay?
Rory: No. I watched her die. I shouldn't let it get to me, but it still does. I'm a nurse.
The Doctor: "Letting it get to you," you know what that's called? Being alive, best thing there is. Being alive right now, that's all that counts.
Amy: Look at you pair. It's always you and her, isn't it? Long after the rest of us have gone, a boy and his box off to see the universe...
The Doctor: Well, you say that as if it's a bad thing. But honestly, it's the best thing there is.
The Doctor: Are you there? Can you hear me...? No, I'm a silly old... Okay. The Eye of Orion, or wherever we need to go.
[The TARDIS's flight lever moves on its own. The Doctor breaks out into a wide grin and dashes around the controls, whooping and laughing joyously.]

The Rebel Flesh [6.5]

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(21 May 2011)
The Doctor: Thirteenth century.
Amy: Oh, we've gone all medieval.
Rory: I'm not sure about that.
Amy: Really? Medieval expert are you?
Rory: No. It's just... I can hear Dusty Springfield.
The Doctor: I have things to do. Things involving other things.
Amy: Well, we'll stay with you. We'll do the other things.
The Doctor: Nope.
Amy: Whatever you're up to, I'd personally like to be a part of it.
The Doctor: I've got to get to that cockerel before all hell breaks loose! [pauses, grins excitedly] I never thought I'd have to say that again!
Amy: What are all these harnesses for?
Rory: Ah, the "Almost People"?
Amy: Are they prisoners, or meditating, or what?
The Doctor: At the moment they fall under the "or what" category.
Loudspeaker: Halt, and remain calm!
[pause]
The Doctor: Well, we've halted. How are we all doing on the calm front?
Jimmy: This is insane. We're fighting ourselves.
The Doctor: Yes, it's insane. And it's about to get even more insanerer. Is that a word? Show yourself! Right now!
Amy: Doctor! We are trapped in here and Rory's out there with them. Hello! We can't get to the TARDIS and we can't even leave the island.
[A voice identical to the Doctor's is heard from across the room]
"The Doctor"'s voice: Correct in every respect, Pond. It's frightening. Unexpected. Frankly, a total utter splattering mess on the carpet. [a Ganger copy of the Doctor steps out of the shadows - identically clothed, but with the gelid, half-finished face of the recently-formed Flesh] But I am certain — one hundred percent certain — that we can work this out. Trust me. [straightens his bow tie] I'm the Doctor.

The Almost People [6.6]

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(28 May 2011)
The Doctor (Ganger): Ahhhhhh!
The Doctor: What's happening?
The Doctor (Ganger): [imitating the First Doctor] One day we should come back, yes one day... Ahhh! Ahhh! [in the voice of the Third Doctor] Reverse the polarity of the neutron flow.
The Doctor: The Flesh is struggling to cope with our past regenerations. Hold on.
The Doctor (Ganger): [in the voice of the Fourth Doctor] Would you like a jelly baby? Why? Why? Why?!
The Doctor: Why? Why what?
The Doctor (Ganger): [in the voice of the Tenth Doctor] Hello, I'm the Doctor. [back to normal voice, but terrified] No! Let it go! We've, we've moved on!
The Doctor: Listen, hold on, hold on. You can stabilise.
The Doctor (Ganger): I've reversed the jelly baby of the neutron flow. I'm the— would you like a— Doctor... Doctor... I'm... I'm the...
The Doctor: So what's the plan?
The Doctor (Ganger): Save them all—humans and Gangers.
The Doctor: Tall order. Sounds wonderful.
The Doctor (Ganger): Is that what you were thinking?
The Doctor: Yes. It's just so inspiring to hear me say it.
The Doctor: [having tricked Amy and others into believing he is the Ganger version] Interesting. You definitely feel more affection for him than me.
Amy: No, no— but you're fine and everything, but he's The Doctor— no offense: being almost the Doctor is pretty damn impressive.
The Doctor: Being "almost the Doctor" is like being no Doctor at all.
Amy: Don't overreact!
The Doctor: [angry] You might as well call me Smith!
The Doctor (Ganger): I am and always will be the optimist. The hoper of far-flung hopes and the dreamer of improbable dreams.
The Doctor: Why? It's all the eyes say: "Why?" I can feel them—as they work each day knowing the time was coming for them to be thrown away again— not again— please. And then they are destroyed, and they feel death and all they can say is "why?"

A Good Man Goes to War [6.7]

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(4 June 2011) - BBC preview clip
[Colonel Manton is showing his troops why the Headless Monks are called "headless".]
Colonel Manton: [pulling back the cowl of a monk] These guys never can be... persuaded. [pulling back another cowl] They never can be... afraid. [approaches a third monk] And they can never, ever be...
[The 'monk' pulls back his own cowl, showing the face of the Doctor.]
The Doctor: Surprised!!
[Colonel Manton, Madame Kovarian, and most of the troops react in shock, while Amy and Lorna Bucket are delighted.]
The Doctor: Hello, everyone! Guess who? Please. Point a gun at me if it helps you relax.
[The troops all cock their weapons and point them at the Doctor, and the Headless Monks charge their energy swords.]
The Doctor: You're only human.
Commander Strax: Colonel Manton, you will give the order for your men to withdraw.
The Doctor: No. Colonel Manton, I want you to tell your men to run away.
Colonel Manton: You what?
The Doctor: Those words. "Run away." I want you to be famous for those exact words. [increasingly angry] I want people to call you "Colonel Run Away." I want children laughing outside your door because they've found the house of Colonel Run Away, and when people come to you and ask if trying to get to me through [shouting] THE PEOPLE I LOVE... [calmer] is in any way a good idea... I want you to tell them your name. [pause] Oh, look, I'm angry. That's new. I'm really not sure what's going to happen now.
Madame Kovarian: The anger of a good man is not a problem. Good men... have too many rules.
The Doctor: Good men don't need rules. Today is not the day to find out why I have so many.
The Doctor: [to Melody Pond] It's okay, she's still all yours. And really you should call her "Mummy", not "Big Milk Thing".
Amy Pond: Okay, what are you doing?
The Doctor: I speak Baby.
Amy Pond: No, you don't.
The Doctor: I speak everything. Don't I, Melody Pond? [Melody gurgles, the Doctor straightens his bow tie] No, it's not. It's cool.
Lorna: The only reason I joined the Clerics was so I could meet the Doctor again.
Jenny: You wanted to meet him, so you joined an army to fight him?
Lorna: Well, how else do you meet a great warrior?
Amy: He's not a warrior.
Lorna: Then why is he called the Doctor?
The Doctor: [furious] Where the hell have you been? Every time you asked, I have been there! Where the hell were you today?!
River: I couldn't have prevented this.
The Doctor You could have tried!
River: And so, my love, could you. [looks toward Amy and Rory] I know you're not all right, but hold tight, Amy, because you're going to be.
The Doctor: You think I wanted this?! I didn't do this! This... this wasn't me!
River: This was exactly you. All this, all of it. You make them so afraid. When you began, all those years ago, sailing off to see the universe, did you ever think you'd become this? The man who can turn an army around at the mention of his name? "Doctor" - the word for "healer" and "wise man" throughout the universe. We get that word from you, you know. But if you carry on the way you are, what might that word come to mean? To the people of the Gamma Forests, the word "doctor" means "mighty warrior". How far you've come. And now they've taken a child. The child of your best friends. And they're going to turn her into a weapon, just to bring you down. And all this, my love... in fear of you.

Let's Kill Hitler [6.8]

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(27 August 2011)
The Doctor: Rory, take Hitler and put him in the cupboard over there, now. Do it.
Rory: Right. I'm putting Hitler in the cupboard. Cupboard, Hitler. Hitler, cupboard. C'mon.
Adolf Hitler: But I am the Führer!
Rory: Right. In you go! [Rory shoves Hitler into the cupboard]
Adolf Hitler: [turns around, shocked] Who are you?! [Rory slams the doors shut]
Rory: What's wrong with you? What has she done to you?
The Doctor: Poisoned me, but I'm fine. Well, no. I'm dying. But I've got a plan.
Amy: What plan?
The Doctor: Not dying! See? Fine.
Amy: I don't understand! One minute she's gonna marry you and then she's gonna kill you?
The Doctor: Well, she's been brainwashed; it all makes sense to her. Plus... she's a woman! [Amy glares at him] Oh, shut up! I'm dying!
Rory: Doctor, River was brainwashed to kill you.
The Doctor: Well, she did. And then she used her remaining lives to bring me back. As first dates go, I’d say that was mixed signals.

Night Terrors [6.9]

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(3 September 2011)
Alex: He's scared to death of everything.
The Doctor: Pantophobia.
Alex: What?
The Doctor: Pantophobia. Not fear of pants, though, if that's what you're thinking. It's the fear of everything. Including pants, I suppose, in that case.
The Doctor: When I was your age — about, ooh, a thousand years ago — I loved a good bedtime story. The Three Little Sontarans. The Emperor Dalek's New Clothes. Snow White and the Seven Keys to Doomsday, eh? All the classics.
Alex: No one is going to tell us how to run our lives. I don't care who you are, or what wheels have been set in motion — we'll sort it.
The Doctor: I'm not just a professional. I'm the Doctor.
Alex: What's that supposed to mean?
The Doctor: It means I've come a long way to get here, Alex, a very long way. George sent a message — a distress call, if you like. Whatever's inside that cupboard is so terrible, so powerful, that it amplified the fears of an ordinary little boy across all the barriers of time and space.
Alex: Eh?
The Doctor: Through crimson stars and silent stars and tumbling nebulas like oceans set on fire, through empires of glass and civilizations of pure thought, and a whole, terrible, wonderful universe of impossibilities. You see these eyes? They're old eyes... and one thing I can tell you, Alex: monsters are real.
Alex: You're not from Social Services, are you?
The Doctor: First things first. You got any jammy dodgers?
The Doctor: Decision: Should we open the cupboard?
Alex: Wha-?
The Doctor: Should we? Well, gotta open the cupboard, haven't we? Of course we have. Come on, Alex. Alex, come on. How else will we ever find out what's going on here?
Alex: Right. But you said—
The Doctor: Monsters, yeah. Well that's what I do. Breakfast, dinner, and tea. Fight the monsters! So this, this is just an average day at the office for me.
Alex: Okay, yeah. You're right.
The Doctor: Or maybe we shouldn't open the cupboard.
Alex: Eh?
The Doctor: We have no idea what might be in there. How powerful, how evil that thing might be.
Alex: We don't?
The Doctor: Come on, Alex! Alex, come on! Are you crazy? We can't open the cupboard!
Alex: God no! No, we mustn't!
The Doctor: Right. That settles it.
Alex: Settles what?
The Doctor: We're gonna open the cupboard.
The Doctor: Look. Wooden chicken. Cup, saucers, plates, knives, forks. Fruit. Chicken's wood. So. We're either inside the doll's house or this is a refuge for dirty posh people who eat wooden food. Or termites. Giant termites trying to get on the property ladder. No, That's possible. Is that possible?

The Girl Who Waited [6.10]

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(10 September 2011)
Rory: You being here is wrong! For a single day, an hour, let alone a lifetime!
Rory: This is your fault.
The Doctor: I'm so sorry, but Rory--
Rory: No, this is your fault! You-- You should, you should look at a history book once in a while, see if there's an outbreak of plague or not!
The Doctor: That is not how I travel!
Rory: Then I do not want to travel with you!
Older Amy: Right, okay, this is big news. This is temporal earthquake time. I'm now officially changing my own future. Hold on to your spectacles. In my past I saw my future-self refuse to help you. I'm now changing that future and agreeing. Every Law of Time says that shouldn't be possible.
The Doctor: Yes, except sometimes, knowing your own future is what enables you to change it. Especially if you're bloody-minded, contradictory, and completely unpredictable.
Rory: So basically, if you're Amy, then.
The Doctor: Yes, if anyone can defeat pre-destiny, it's your wife.
The Doctor: Come on, Rory, this is hardly rocket science, this is quantum physics!
'[The Doctor has locked Older Amy out of the TARDIS to avoid a paradox.]
The Doctor: No, she's not real...
Rory: She is real. Let her in.
The Doctor: Look, we take this Amy, we leave ours. There can only be one Amy in the TARDIS, which one do you want?! [He places Rory's hand on the lock.] It's your choice.
Rory: This isn't fair. You're turning me into you.
Older Amy: The look on your face when you carried her -- me. Her... When you carried her away, you used to look at me like that. I'd forgotten how much you loved me. I'd forgotten how much I loved being her. Amy Pond in the TARDIS, with Rory Williams...
Rory: I'm sorry, I can't do this! [He unlocks the door. Amy grips the handle tight.]
Older Amy: If you love me, don't let me in. Open that door, I will. I'll come in, I don't wanna die. I won't bow out bravely, I'll be kicking, screaming, fighting to the end.
Rory: Amy... I love you.
Older Amy: I love you too! Don't let me in. Tell Amy -- your Amy -- I'm giving her the days. The days with you, the days to come...
Rory: I'm so, so sorry...
Older Amy: The days I can't have. Take them, please.
Older Amy: Interface.
Interface: I am here, Amy Pond.
Older Amy: Show me Earth. Show me home. Did I ever tell you about this boy I met there? He pretended to be in a band.

The God Complex [6.11]

edit
(17 September 2011)
The Doctor: OK, this is bad. At the moment I don't know how bad, but certainly we're three buses, a long walk, and eight quid in a taxi from good.
[The Doctor and Rita talk by Joe's dead body.]
Rory: Every time the Doctor gets pally with someone, I have this overwhelming urge to notify their next-of-kin. [Rory flinches]
Amy: What?
Rory: Sorry. Last time I said something like that, you hit me with your shoe. And you literally had to sit down and unlace it first.
Rita: [to the Doctor] What exactly happened to him?
The Doctor: He died.
Rita: You are a medical doctor, aren't you? You haven't just got a degree in cheese-making or something?
The Doctor: No, no. Well, yes. Both, actually.
The Doctor: I can't save you from this. There's nothing I can do to stop this. I stole your childhood and now I've lead you by the hand to your death. But the worst thing is, I knew. I knew this would happen. This is what always happens. Forget your faith in me. I took you with me because I was vain. Because I wanted to be adored. Look at you. Glorious Pond. The girl who waited for me. I'm not a hero. I really am just a mad man in a box. And it's time we saw each other as we really are. Amy Williams, it's time to stop waiting.
Amy: [standing over the dying Minotaur] What's it saying?
The Doctor: [speaking the Minotaur's thoughts aloud] "An ancient creature, drenched in the blood of the innocent... drifting in space through an endless shifting maze... for such a creature, death would be a gift." [to the Minotaur] Then accept it, and sleep well. [the Minotaur growls and the Doctor reiterates in English] "I wasn't talking about myself."
[The TARDIS lands in front of a blue house with a red Jaguar parked out front]
Amy: Don't tell me, this isn't Earth, that isn't a real house, and inside lives a goblin that feeds on indecision.
The Doctor: Nope. Real Earth, real house, [He hands keys to Amy] real door keys.
Amy: You're not serious.
Rory: The car, too, but that's my favourite car. How did you know that was my favourite car?
The Doctor: Showed me a picture of it once and said, "That's my favourite car!"
Amy: Rory, um, can I have two minutes? Two minutes.
Rory: She'll say that we can't accept it because it's too extravagant and we'll always feel a crippling sense of obligation. [looks back at the Jaguar and Amy] It's a risk I'm willing to take. [Rory approaches the house]
Amy: Hey. [Beckons the Doctor to lean against the car with her] So, you're leaving, aren't you?
The Doctor: You haven't seen the last of me. Bad Penny is my middle name. Seriously, the looks I get when I fill in a form, it's...
Amy: Why now?
The Doctor: Because you're still... breathing.
Amy: Well, I think this is about the washing up, personally. [They laugh]
The Doctor: [Approaching the TARDIS] I mean, you're right, there's still heaps of stuff out there to look at. Do you know, there's a planet whose name literally translates as "Volatile Circus". [Amy laughs and the Doctor looks at the new house] Or maybe there's a bigger, scarier adventure waiting for you in there.
Amy: Even so, it can't happen like this. After what we've been through, Doctor... everything. You can't just drop me off at my house and say goodbye like we shared a cab.
The Doctor: And what's the alternative? Me standing over your grave? Over your broken body? Over Rory's body?
[They hug]
Amy: If you bump into my daughter, tell her to visit her old mum sometime.
The Doctor: [Looking back at the house] And look after him.
Amy: Look after you. [She kisses his forehead]
[The Doctor departs in the TARDIS as Rory comes out of the house holding champagne and three glasses]
Rory: What happened? What's he doing?
Amy: He's saving us.

Closing Time [6.12]

edit
(24 September 2011)
Craig: [referring to his baby son] He’s called Alfie. And what are you doing here anyway?
The Doctor: Yes, he likes that … Alfie. Though personally, he likes to be called Stormageddon, Dark Lord of All.
Craig: I’m sorry, what?
The Doctor: That’s what he calls himself.
Craig: And how’d you know that?
The Doctor: I speak Baby.
Craig: Of course you do.
The Doctor: [to Alfie] No! He's your dad! You can't just call him "Not Mum".
Craig: "Not Mum"?
The Doctor: That's you! "Also Not Mum", that's me! And everybody else is [leans in to Alfie] "Peasants". That's a bit unfortunate.
The Doctor: I'm the Doctor. Here to help.
The Doctor: Look around. Ask questions. People like it when you're with a baby. Babies are sweet. People talk to you. That's why I usually take a human with me.
Craig: So I'm your baby.
The Doctor: [Cheerful] You're my baby!
The Doctor: [holding Alfie] Hello, Stormageddon. It’s The Doctor, here to help. Be quiet. Go to sleep. No, really. Stop crying. You’ve got a lot to look forward to, you know. A normal human life on Earth. Mortgage repayments, the 9 to 5, a persistent nagging sense of spiritual emptiness. Save the tears for later, boyo. Oh, that was crabby. No, that was old. But I am old, Stormy. I am so old. So near the end. But you, Alfie Owens. You are so young, aren’t you? And you know, right now, everything’s ahead of you. You could be anything. Yes, I know. You could walk among the stars. They don’t actually look like that, you know — they are rather more impressive. [uses his sonic screwdriver to make a starry sky appear on the ceiling] Yeah! You know, when I was little like you, I dreamt of the stars. I think it’s fair to say, in the language of your age, that I lived my dream. I owned the stage. Gave it a hundred and ten percent. I hope you have as much fun as I did, Alfie.
Craig: The Cybermen — they blew up! I blew them up with love!
The Doctor: No, that's impossible — and also grossly sentimental and overly simplistic. You destroyed them because of the deeply ingrained hereditary trait to protect one's own genes — which in turn triggered a... a... uh... Yeah. Love. You blew them up with love.

The Wedding of River Song [6:13]

edit
(1 October 2011)
The Doctor: Imagine you were dying. Imagine you were afraid and a long way from home and in terrible pain. Just when you thought it couldn't get worse, you looked up.... and saw the face of the Devil himself. [pause] Hello, Dalek.
Supreme Dalek: [Panicked] Emergency! Emergency! Weapon systems disabled! Emergency!
[The Dalek's voice becomes distorted and muffled as the Doctor removes its dome]
The Doctor: Hush now. I need some information from your data core. Everything the Daleks know about the Silence...
The Doctor: Why Lake Silencio? Why Utah?
Dorium: It's a still point in time. Makes it easier to create a fixed point. And your death is a fixed point, Doctor. You can't run away from this.
The Doctor: [arrogantly] I've been running all my life. Why should I stop?
Dorium: Because now you know what's at stake. Why your life must end.
The Doctor: Not today.
Dorium: What's the point in delaying? How long have you delayed already?!
The Doctor: Been knocking about. Bit of a farewell tour. Things to do, people to see. There's always more. I could invent a new colour, save the Dodo, join the Beatles. [On the phone] Hello, it's me! Get him, tell him we're going out and it's all on me except for the money and the driving! [To Dorium, boasting angrily] I've got a time machine, Dorium! It's all still going on! For me, it never stops! Liz the First is still waiting in a glade to elope with me! I could help Rose Tyler with her homework! I could go on all Jack's stag parties in one night!
Dorium: Time catches up with us all, Doctor!
The Doctor: Well, it has never laid a glove on me! [On the phone again] Hello?
Nurse: Doctor, I'm so sorry. We didn't know how to contact you. I'm afraid Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart passed away a few months ago. Doctor?
The Doctor: [Shocked] Yes, yes.
Nurse: It was very peaceful. Talked a lot about you, if that's any comfort. Always made us pour an extra brandy 'case you came 'round one of these days.
Dorium: Doctor? What's wrong?
The Doctor: Nothing, I... just...[hangs up the phone, sighs, and pulls out the blue envelopes from his pocket]...it's time. It's time.
The Doctor: The loyal soldier, waiting to be noticed, always the pattern: why is that?
Rory: Sorry, sir?
The Doctor: Your boss, you should just ask her out. She likes you. She said so.
Rory: [Dryly] Really, sir? What did she say?
The Doctor: Ah, she just sort of generally indicated —
Rory: [Turns and looks him straight in the eye] What exactly did she say?
The Doctor: [Stuttering] Well, she said you were a Mr. Hottie-ness... and that she would like to go out with you for texting and scones. [Smiles hopefully]
Rory: [Stares at him] You really haven't done this before, have you?
The Doctor: No, I haven't.
River: Those reports of the sunspots and the solar flares, they're wrong. It's not the Sun, it's you. The sky is full of a million million voices saying, "Yes, of course we'll help." You've touched so many lives, saved so many people, did you think when your time came you'd really have to do more than just ask? You've decided that the universe is better off without you. But the universe doesn't agree.
The Doctor: River, no one can help me. A fixed point has been altered. Time is disintegrating.
River: I can't let you die!
The Doctor: I have to die!
River: Shut up! I can't let you die — without knowing you are loved — by so many, and so much — and by no one more than me.
The Doctor: River, you and I know what this means. We are Ground Zero of an explosion that will engulf all reality. Billions on billions will suffer and die.
River: I'll suffer, if I have to kill you.
The Doctor: More than every living thing in the universe?
River: Yes.
Dorium: So you're going to do this, let them all think you're dead?
The Doctor: It's the only way. Then they can all forget me. I got too big, Dorium, too noisy. Time to step back into the shadows.
Dorium: And Doctor Song? In prison, all her days?
The Doctor: Her days, yes. Her nights... well... that's between her and me, eh?
Dorium: So many secrets, Doctor. [Chuckling] I'll help you keep them, of course.
The Doctor: Well, you're not exactly going anywhere, are you?
Dorium: But you're a fool, nonetheless. It's all still waiting for you - the fields of Trenzalore, the fall of the Eleventh, and the Question.
The Doctor: [Saluting as he exits] Goodbye, Dorium.
Dorium: [Shouting after him] The first question! The question that must never be answered! Hidden in plain sight! The question you've been running from all your life! Doctor Who? Doctor Who? Doc — tor — who?!

Series 7

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The Doctor, the Widow and the Wardrobe [7.X]

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(25 December 2011)
[Madge and the Doctor have arrived in front of a police box]
The Doctor: I just need to find the key.
Madge: Do you want me to do it with a pin? I'm good with a pin.
The Doctor: Multidimensional, triple-encoded temporal interface. Not really susceptible to pointy things.
Madge: [Unlocks the police box doors with a pin] Got it.
The Doctor: Okay. Suddenly the last nine hundred years of time travel seem a bit less secure.
Madge: Are you the new caretaker?
The Doctor: Usually called "The Doctor." Or "The Caretaker." Or "Get off this planet." Though, strictly speaking, that probably isn't a name.
Madge: Why are you doing all this?
The Doctor: I'm just... trying to take care of things. I'm the caretaker.
Madge: That's not what caretakers do.
The Doctor: Then why are they called caretakers?
Madge: [Pauses, caught, then:] Their father's dead.
The Doctor: [Pause] I'm sorry.
Madge: Lily and Cyril's father, my husband, is dead, and they don't know yet because if I tell them now, then Christmas will always be what took their father away from them and no one should have to live like that. Of course, when the Christmas period is over, I shall... [she pauses] I don't know why I keep shouting at them.
The Doctor: Because every time you see them happy, you remember how sad they're going to be... and it breaks your heart. Because what's the point in them being happy now if they're going to be sad later? The answer is, of course, because they are going to be sad later.
Lily: But why would you bring us to this place?
The Doctor: It was supposed to be a treat, this is one of the safest planets I know. There's never anything dangerous here.
[A loud thud sounds in the distance, causing the ground to shake.]
The Doctor: There are sentences I should just keep away from.
Lily: What's happening?
The Doctor: No idea. Just do what I do: hold tight and pretend it's a plan.

Asylum of the Daleks [7.1]

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(1 September 2012)
Dalek Prime Minister: What do you know of the Dalek Asylum?
The Doctor: According to legend, you have a dumping ground. A planet where you lock up all the Daleks that go wrong. The battle-scarred, the insane. The ones even you can’t control. Which never made any sense to me.
Dalek Prime Minister: Why not?
The Doctor: Because you'd just kill them!
Dalek Prime Minister: It is offensive to us to extinguish such divine hatred.
The Doctor: Offensive?!?
Dalek Prime Minister: Does it surprise you to know the Daleks have a concept of beauty?
The Doctor: [appalled] I thought you'd run out of ways to make me sick, but hello again. You think hatred is beautiful?
Dalek Prime Minister: Perhaps that is why we have never been able to kill you.
[A hatch in the floor opens, revealing a planet surrounded by a force field]
Darla: The Asylum. It occupies the entire planet, right to the core.
The Doctor: How many Daleks are in there?
Darla: A count has not been made. Millions, certainly.
The Doctor: All still alive?
Darla: It has to be assumed. The asylum is fully automated. Supervision is not required.
Amy: Armed?
Darla: The Daleks are always armed.
Rory: What colour? [Everyone stares at him] Sorry, there weren't any good questions left.
Oswin: Is there a word for total screaming genius that sounds modest and a tiny bit sexy?
The Doctor: Doctor. You call me the Doctor.
Oswin: I see what you did there.
Rory: Amy, it's me. Do you remember me? [She slaps him] She remembers me.
The Doctor: Same old Amy.
Oswin: Do you know how you make someone into a Dalek? Subtract love, add anger. Doesn't she seem a bit too angry to you?
Amy: Well, somebody's never been to Scotland.
The Doctor: What about you, though, Oswin? Why are you okay? Why hasn't the nano-cloud converted you?
Oswin: I mentioned the genius thing, yeah? Shielded in here.
The Doctor: Hmm, clever of you. Now this place, the Daleks said it was fully automated, but look at it — it's a wreck.
Oswin: Well, I've had nearly a year to mess with them... and not a lot else to do.
The Doctor: A genius entertainment manager hiding out in a wrecked ship, hacking the security systems of the most advanced warrior race the Universe has ever seen — but, you know what really gets me about you, Oswin? The soufflés. Where do you get milk for the soufflés? Seriously, is no one else wondering about that?
Rory: No. Frankly, no! Twice.
The Doctor: Oswin? I think I'm close.
Oswin: You are! Less than twenty feet away. Which is the good news.
The Doctor: Okay...and the bad, which I suddenly feel is coming?
Oswin: You’re about to pass through intensive care.
[The Doctor enters a room full of caged Daleks]
The Doctor: What's so special about this lot, then?
Oswin: Dunno. Survivors of particular wars. Spiridon. Kembel. Aridius. Vulcan. Exxilon. Ringing any bells?
The Doctor: All of them.
Oswin: Yeah? How?
The Doctor: These are the Daleks who survived me.
[The Daleks begin to wake up]
Daleks: Doctor... Doctor... Doctor...
Oswin: That's weird. Those ones don't usually wake up for anything.
The Doctor: Yeah, well, special visitor.

Dinosaurs on a Spaceship [7.2]

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(8 September 2012)
[Door opens and they come face to face with two Ankylosaurs]
Brian: Not possible.
The Doctor: Run.
[The gang runs while the Doctor stays put with an expression of pure joy on his face]
Amy: Doctor!
The Doctor: [gleeful] I know. Dinosaurs! On a spaceship!!!
Brian: Are you saying that dinosaurs are flying a spaceship?
The Doctor: Brian, please, that would be ridiculous. They're probably just passengers. Did I mention missiles?
Brian: Missiles?!
[Rory and the Doctor quiet Brian]
The Doctor: Didn't want to worry you. Anyway, six hours is a lifetime. Not literally a lifetime. That's what we're trying to avoid! Ha ha!
Rory: The beach is humming!
The Doctor: Is it? Oh, yes! Right, well, don't just stand there, you two! Dig! I'm going to look at rocks. Love a rock.
Rory: Dig with what?
Brian: Ah! Well! [Removes a trowel from his pocket and starts digging]
Rory: Did you just have that on you?
Brian: Of course. What sort of a man doesn't carry a trowel? Put it on your Christmas list.
Rory: Dad, I'm 31. I don't have a Christmas list anymore.
The Doctor: [From afar] I do!
The Doctor: Look, Solomon. The missiles. See them shine? See how valuable they are? And they're all yours.
Solomon: You wouldn't leave me, Doctor!
The Doctor: Enjoy your bounty.

A Town Called Mercy [7.3]

edit
(15 September 2012)
The Doctor: We evacuate the town, our ship's just over the hills, room for everyone. I'll pop out, bring it back here, Robert's your uncle.
Amy: Really!? As simple as that? No crazy schemes? No negotiations?
The Doctor: I've matured. I'm twelve hundred years old now, plus I don't want to miss The Archers.
Amy: Oh, so you're not even a tiny bit curious?
The Doctor: Why would I be curious? It's a mysterious space cowboy assassin. Curious? Of course I'm not curious.
The Doctor: Can I borrow your horse, please? It's official Marshall business. [He mounts the preacher's horse]
Preacher: He's called Joshua. It's from the Bible. It means "the deliverer".
[The horse snorts]
The Doctor: No, he isn't.
Preacher: What?
The Doctor: I speak horse. He's called Susan.
[The horse snorts]
The Doctor: And he wants you to respect his life choices.
The Doctor: [Angrily] Today, I honour victims first; his, The Master's, the Daleks', all the people who died because of my mercy!
Amy: See, this is what happens when you travel alone for too long. Well listen to me, Doctor. We can't be like him. We have to be better than him.
[Dockery draws a pistol, pointing it at the Doctor]
The Doctor: How old are you?
Dockery: Nearly 19.
The Doctor: That's 18, then. Too young to have fought in the war, so I'm guessing you've never shot anyone before, have you?
Dockery: First time for everything.
The Doctor: But that's how all this started. Jex turned someone into a weapon. Now that same story's gonna make you a killer, too. Don't you see? Violence doesn't end violence, it extends it. And I don't think you want to do this. I don't think you want to become that man.
Dockery: There's kids here.
The Doctor: I know, who I can save, if you'll let me.
Dockery: [Nodding to the building holding Kahler-Jex] He really worth the risk?
The Doctor: I don't know. But you are.
[Dockery withdraws with the townsfolk]
The Doctor: Frightened people. Give me a Dalek any day.

The Power of Three [7.4]

edit
(22 September 2012)
[Amy, Rory, and the Doctor are sitting on the couch eating fish fingers and custard.]
The Doctor: If I had a restaurant, this'd be all I'd serve.
Amy: Yeah, right! You running a restaurant.
The Doctor: I've run restaurants. Who do you think invented the Yorkshire pudding?
Rory: [Laughs, then realises the Doctor is being serious] You didn't?
The Doctor: Pudding, yet savoury. Sound familiar?
Amy: Well, there was a time -- there were years when I couldn't live without you, um... When just the whole "everyday" thing would drive me crazy... But since you've dropped us back here, since you've given us this house, y'know, we've built a life! I-- I don't know if I can have both.
The Doctor: Why?
Amy: Because they pull at each other. Because they pull at me, and because the traveling is starting to feel like running away.
The Doctor: That's not what it is.
Amy: Oh, c'mon, look at you. Four days in a lounge and you go crazy.
The Doctor: I'm not running away. But this is one corner of one country in one continent on one planet that's a corner of a galaxy that's a corner of a universe that is forever growing and shrinking and creating and destroying and never remaining the same for a single millisecond, and there is so much, so much, to see, Amy, because it goes so fast. I'm not running away from things, I am running to them before they flare and fade forever. And it's alright. Our lives won't run the same. They can't. One day, soon maybe, you'll stop. I've known for a while.
Amy: Then why do you keep coming back for us?
The Doctor: Because you were the first. The first face this face saw. And you're seared onto my hearts, Amelia Pond. You always will be. I'm running to you and Rory before you fade from me.
The Doctor: The pest-controllers of the universe, that's how the tales went, isn't it?
Amy: Wow. That's some seriously weird bedtime story.
The Doctor: You can talk. Wolf in your grandmother's nightdress?
The Doctor: Look, I know -- you both have lives here. Beautiful, messy lives. That is what makes you so fabulously... human! You don't want to give them up. I understand.
Brian Williams: Actually, it's you they can't give up, Doctor. And I don't think they should. Go with him! Go save every world you can find -- who else has that chance? Life'll still be here.
The Doctor: You could come, Brian.
Brian Williams: Somebody's gotta water the plants.

The Angels Take Manhattan [7.5]

edit
 
Hello, old friend, and here we are, you and me, on the last page.
(29 September 2012)
[The Doctor tears a page from the book he's reading]
Amy: Why did you do that?
Doctor: Oh, I always rip out the last page of a book. Then it doesn't have to end. I hate endings!
Amy: Where did you get this book?
The Doctor:It was in my jacket.
Amy: How did it get there?
The Doctor: How does anything get there? I've given up asking.
Amy: That gravestone, Rory's, there's room for one more name, isn't there?
The Doctor: What are you talking about? Back away from the Angel. Come back to the TARDIS. We'll figure something out.
Amy: The Angel – would it send me back to the same time, to him?
The Doctor: I don't know. Nobody knows.
Amy: But it's my best shot, yeah?
The Doctor: No!
River: Doctor, shut up! Yes! Yes, it is!
The Doctor: Amy...
Amy: Well, then. I just have to blink, right?
The Doctor: No!
Amy: It'll be fine. I know it will. I'll- I'll- I’ll be with him, like I should be. Me and Rory together. [She pauses] Melody?
The Doctor: Stop it! Just- Just stop it!
[River comes forward and stands behind Amy, taking her hand]
Amy: [Crying] You look after him, and you be a good girl, and you look after him. [River kisses her hand]
The Doctor: You are creating fixed time. I will never be able to see you again!
Amy: [Sobbing harder] I'll be fine. I'll be with him.
The Doctor: [Also crying now] Amy, please, just come back into the TARDIS. Come along, Pond, please.
Amy: Raggedy man, [Amy turns to look the Doctor in the eye] goodbye!
[Amy vanishes as she is sent to the past by the angel. Amy's name appears alongside Rory's on the gravestone]
The Doctor: [Sobbing] No!
The Doctor: River... They were your parents. Sorry. I didn't even think.
River: Doesn't matter.
The Doctor: Course it matters.
River: What matters is this: Doctor, don't travel alone.
The Doctor: Travel with me, then.
River: Whenever and wherever you want. But not all the time! One psychopath per TARDIS, don't you think?
Amy: Afterword, by Amelia Williams. Hello, old friend. And here we are, you and me, on the last page. By the time you read these words, Rory and I will be long gone. So know that we lived well, and we're very happy. And above all else, know that we will love you, always. Sometimes, I do worry about you, though. I think, once we're gone, you won't be coming back here for a while. And you might be alone, which you should never be. Don't be alone, Doctor. And do one more thing for me... There's a little girl waiting in a garden. She's going to wait a long while, so she's going to need a lot of hope. Go to her. Tell her a story. Tell her that if she's patient, the days are coming that she'll never forget. Tell her that she'll go to see and fight pirates. She'll fall in love with a man who'll wait two thousand years to keep her safe. Tell her she'll give hope to the greatest painter who ever lived. And save a whale in outer space! Tell her... "this is the story of Amelia Pond." And this is how it ends.

The Snowmen [7.X]

edit
(25 December 2012)
Strax: Sir, permission to express my opposition to your current apathy?
The Doctor: Permission granted.
Strax: Sir, I am opposed to your current apathy.
The Doctor: Thank you, Strax. And if I'm ever in need of advice from a psychotic potato dwarf, you'll certainly be the first to know.
Servant: Doctor Simeon, sir, there's someone demanding to see you.
Walter Simeon: No callers, not in here, not ever. Did he leave his name?
Servant: Sir... it's Sherlock Holmes!
[The Doctor enters, dressed as the aforementioned character]
The Doctor: Oh, yes! Nice office, big globey thing. Now, shut up, don't tell me! I see from your collar stud you have an apple tree and a wife with a limp. Am I right?
Walter Simeon: [annoyed] No.
The Doctor: Do you have a wife?
Walter Simeon: No.
The Doctor: Bit of a tree? Bit of a wife? Some apples? Come on, work with me here.
Walter Simeon: I enjoy The Strand Magazine as much as the next man, but I am perfectly aware that Sherlock Holmes is a fictional character! Get out!
The Doctor: [to Simeon's servant] Do you have a goldfish named Colin?
Servant: ...No.
The Doctor: Thought not.
The Doctor: What are you doing here?
Strax: Madame Vastra wondered if you were needing any grenades?
The Doctor: Grenades?
Strax: She might have said "help".
The Doctor: Help for what?
Strax: Well, your investigation.
The Doctor: [looking offended] Investigation? Who says I'm investigating? Do you think I'm going to start investigating just because some bird smiles at me? Who do you think I am?!
Strax: ... Sherlock Holmes.
The Doctor: Don't be clever, Strax, it doesn't suit you.
Strax: Sorry, sir.
The Doctor: I'm the clever one, you're the potato one!
Strax: Yes, sir.
The Doctor: Now go away.
Strax: [snidely] Yes...Mister Holmes. [leaves, sniggering]
The Doctor: Oi! Shut up! You're not clever or funny, and you've got tiny little legs!
Captain Latimer: [Clara and the Doctor descend the stairs.] Who the devil are you? What are you doing in my house?
The Doctor: It's okay! I am your governess' gentleman friend! We've just been upstairs... kissing!
Maid: Captain Latimer! In the garden there's snowmen! And they're just growing! Out of nowhere, all by themselves! Look!
[The maid opens the front door, where she is greeted by Madame Vastra (unveiled) and Jenny]
Madame Vastra: Good evening. I'm a lizard woman from the dawn of time, and this is my wife.
[The maid screams and rushed back into the house, where she's interrupted by Strax]
Strax: This dwelling is under attack! Remain calm, human scum!
[The maid screams and faints, the Doctor turns to Captain Latimer, who looks shocked]
The Doctor: So, any questions?
Captain Latimer: [to Clara/Miss Montague] You have a... gentleman friend?
[Clara/Miss Montague sighs]
Clara Oswin Oswald: Why are you showing me all this?
The Doctor: You followed me, remember. I didn't invite you.
Clara Oswin Oswald: You're nearly a foot taller than I am. You could have reached the ladder without this. [She indicates the umbrella held in her hand] You took it. For me. [She throws him the umbrella] Why?
The Doctor: I never know why. I only know who. [He conjures a TARDIS key up and places it in her hand]

The Bells of Saint John [7.6]

edit
 
When you say mobile phone, why do you point at that blue box?
(30 March 2013)
The Doctor: [In 1207 AD, answering the TARDIS phone] Hello?
Clara: [In 2013 AD, on her telephone] Ah, hello! I can’t find the Internet.
The Doctor: I'm sorry?
Clara: It's gone, the Internet. Can't find it anywhere. Where is it?
The Doctor: The Internet?
Clara: Yes, the Internet. Why don't I have the Internet?
The Doctor: It's 1207.
Clara: I've got half past three. Am I phoning a different time zone?
The Doctor: Yeah, you really sort of are.
Clara: Will it show up on the bill?
The Doctor: Oh, I dread to think.
Clara: When you say mobile phone, why do you point at that blue box?
The Doctor: Because it's a surprisingly accurate description!
Clara: Okay. We're finished now.
The Doctor: I'm the Doctor. I'm an alien from outer space. I'm a thousand years old, I've got two hearts, and I can’t fly a plane! Can you?
Clara: No!
The Doctor: Ooh, fine! Let's do it together!
[Clara and the Doctor pull on the control stick together, saving the plane from crashing]
The Doctor: [out of breath] Would a victory roll be too showy-offy?
The Doctor: But a hundred and one places to see, and you haven’t been to any of them, have you? That's why you keep the book.
Clara: I keep the book 'cause I'm still going.
The Doctor: But you don't run out on the people you care about. Wish I was more like that. You know, the thing about a time machine, you can run away all you like and still back in time for tea, so what do you say? Anywhere. All of time and space right outside those doors.
Clara: Does this work?
The Doctor: Hey?
Clara: [laughs] This is actually what you do? Do you just crook your fingers and people just jump in your snog box and fly away?
The Doctor: It is not a snog box!
Clara: I'll be the judge of that.
The Doctor: Starting when?
Clara: Come back tomorrow. Ask me again.
The Doctor: Why?
Clara: 'Cause tomorrow I might say yes. [starts for the doors] Some time after seven okay for you?
The Doctor: It's a time machine. Any time's okay.

The Rings of Akhaten [7.7]

edit
(6 April 2013)
Clara: Did you just lock us in?
The Doctor: Yep.
Clara: With the soul-eating monster?
The Doctor: Yep.
Clara: And is there actually a way to get out?
The Doctor: What? Before it eats our souls?
Clara: Ideally, yes.
The Doctor: Possibly. Probably. There usually seems to be.
The Doctor: [to Merry] You are unique in the universe. There is only one Merry Gejelh, and there will never be another. Getting rid of that existence isn't a sacrifice, it is a waste.
The Doctor: We don't walk away, but when we're holding onto something precious, we run, and we don't stop running until we're out of the shadows.
Merry: [singing] Rest now, my warrior... Rest now, your hardship is over.
The Doctor: [to Akhaten] Okay, then. That’s what I’ll do. I’ll tell you a story.
Merry: Live... wake up, wake up, and let the cloak of life cling to your bones...
The Doctor: Can you hear them? All these people who've lived in terror of you and your judgement. All these people whose ancestors devoted themselves, sacrificed themselves, to you. Can you hear them singing?
Merry: Wake up, Wake up...
The Doctor: Oh, you like to think you're a god! But you're not a god. You're just a parasite, eaten out with jealous and envy and longing for the lives of others. You feed on them - on the memory of love and loss and birth and death and joy and sorrow! So... so... come on, then. Take mine. Take my memories. But I hope you've got a big appetite, because I've lived a long life, and I have seen a few things...
Merry: Live... Wake up, wake up, and let the cloak of life cling to your bones... [Vocalizing] ... To your bones. Wake up, wake up. [song ends]
The Doctor: I walked away from the Last Great Time War. I marked the passing of the Time Lords. I saw the birth of the universe, and I watched as time ran out, moment by moment, until nothing remained. No time, no space – just me! I walked in universes where the laws of physics were devised by the mind of a madman! And I have watched universes freeze and creations burn! I have seen things you wouldn't believe! I have lost things you will never understand! And I know things - secrets that must never be told, knowledge that must never be spoken! Knowledge that will make parasite gods BLAZE! SO COME ON, THEN! TAKE IT! TAKE IT ALL, BABY! HAVE IT! YOU HAVE IT ALL!!!
Clara: Still hungry? Well, I brought something for you. This. The most important leaf in human history. The most important leaf in human history! It's full of stories. Full of history. And full of a future that never got lived. Days that should have been and never were. Passed on to me. This leaf isn't just the past, it's a whole future that never happened. There are billions and millions of unlived days for every day we live — an infinity. All the days that never came. And these are all my mum's.
The Doctor: Well? Come on then. Eat up! Are you full? I expect so. Because there's quite a difference, isn't there, between what was and what should have been? There's an awful lot of one, but there's an infinity of the other! And infinity is too much. Even for your appetite.

Cold War [7.8]

edit
(13 April 2013)
Clara: Are we going to be okay?
The Doctor: Yes.
Clara: Is that a lie?
The Doctor: Possibly. Very dangerous time, Clara. East and West standing on the brink of nuclear oblivion. Lots of itchy fingers on the button.
Clara: Isn't it always like that?
The Doctor: Sorta. But there are flash points and this is one of them. Hair, shoulder pads, nukes. It's the '80s. Everything's bigger.
Grisenko: We were drilling for oil in the ice. I thought I'd found a mammoth.
The Doctor: It's not a mammoth.
Captain Zhukov: No.
Clara: What is it, then?
The Doctor: It's an Ice Warrior! A native of the planet Mars. And we go way back. Way back.
Captain Zhukov: Martian? You can't be serious!
The Doctor: I'm always serious. With days off.
Clara: Doctor.
The Doctor: Just keeping it light, Clara. They're scared.
Clara: They're scared? I'm scared!
Clara: The TARDIS! Where's the TARDIS? You never explained.
The Doctor: Oh, well, don't worry about that.
Clara: Stop saying that. Where is it?
The Doctor: Yeah. Well, I wasn't to know, was I?
Clara: Know what?
The Doctor: I've been tinkering, breaking her in. I'm allowed.
Clara: What did you do?
The Doctor: [mumbling] I reset the HADS.
Clara: Huh?
The Doctor: I reset [suddenly quieting his voice] the HADS.
Clara: The what?
The Doctor: The HADS! The Hostile Action Displacement System! If the TARDIS comes under attack, gunfire, time winds, the... sea, it... relocates!
Clara: Oh, Doctor...
The Doctor: Haven't used it in donkey's years. It seemed like a good idea at the time. Well, never mind, it's bound to turn up somewhere. [The Doctor's sonic screwdriver is heard whirring in his pocket] Ooh. Ha! See? Right on cue. [He examines his screwdriver's readings] Brilliant.
Clara: Brilliant.
The Doctor: The TARDIS is at the Pole.
Clara: Not far, then.
The Doctor: [sheepish] The South Pole.
Clara: Ah.
The Doctor: [to Captain Zhukov, embarrassed] Could we have a lift? [Both Clara and Zhukov laugh as they head back into the submarine; the Doctor laughs sarcastically after them]

Hide [7.9]

edit
(20 April 2013)
[The Doctor is leaving Clara alone in the TARDIS]
The Doctor: Back in a mo'. You alright?
Clara: Totally. Peachy keen.
The Doctor: Okay, then. Well, don't press any buttons or pull any levers or make funny faces. Actually, don't move. Stand completely still. Don't breathe. Well... you can breathe, but shallow breaths.
[Clara stands still, slowly raising a hand in a thumbs up gesture with a stiff and amused smile on her face]
Clara: Have we just watched the entire life cycle of Earth, birth to death?
The Doctor: Yes.
Clara: And you're okay with that?
The Doctor: Yes...
Clara: How can you be?
The Doctor: The TARDIS. She's... time. We... wibbly vortex and so on.
Clara: That's not what I mean.
The Doctor: Okay. Some help? Context? Cheat sheet? Something?
Clara: I mean one minute you're in 1974 looking for ghosts, but all you have to do is open your eyes and talk to whoever's standing there. To you, I haven't been born yet. And, to you, I've been dead a hundred billion years. [Clara looks at the ruined Earth of the distant future displayed on the TARDIS scanner] Is my body out there somewhere? In the ground?
The Doctor: Yes. I suppose it is.
Clara: But here we are, talking, so I am a ghost. To you, I'm a ghost. We're all ghosts to you. We must be nothing.
The Doctor: No. No. You're not that.
Clara: Then what are we? What can we possibly be?
The Doctor: You are the only mystery worth solving.
Emma: Doctor, will it hurt?
The Doctor: No. Well, yes, probably. A bit. Well, quite a lot. I don't know. It might be agony. To be perfectly honest, I'll be interested to find out.

Journey to the Centre of the TARDIS [7.10]

edit
(27 April 2013)
Bram: How big is this baby?
The Doctor: Picture the biggest ship you've ever seen. Are you picturing it?
Bram: Yeah.
The Doctor: Good, now forget it, because this ship's infinite.
Bram: It'll take you hours to find the girl.
The Doctor: Days, plus this whole ship is toxic, she'll be dead by the time I reach her. So, here's the mission. We're going to find her in one hour.
Bram: We?
The Doctor: You're my guys for this.
Bram: That wasn't the deal!
The Doctor: It is now.
Gregor: And what makes you think we'll help?
[The Doctor flips down two levers, a timer appears on the screen.]
The Doctor: I just activated the TARDIS self-destruct system. [59:56:90 counts down with beeps] One hour until this ship blows. [Bram rushes for the doors, but the Doctor locks them with the flick of a switch] Don't try to leave! The TARDIS is in lockdown. I'll open those doors when Clara's by my side.
Bram: You crazy lunatic!
The Doctor: My ship, my rules!
Gregor: You'll kill us all, and the girl.
The Doctor: She's going to die if you don't help me. Don't get into a spaceship with a mad man. Didn't anyone teach you that?
The Doctor: It isn't just the past leaking out through the time rift, it's the future. Listen, I brought you here to keep you safe, but it happened again. You died again.
Clara: What do you mean again?
Clara: If you don't have a plan, we're dead!
The Doctor: Yes. We are. So just tell me.
Clara: Tell you what?
The Doctor: Well, we're about to die. There's no point now. Just tell me who you are.
Clara: [puzzled] You know who I am.
The Doctor: No, I don't. I look at you at you every single day, and I don't understand a thing about you. Why do I keep running into you?
Clara: Doctor, you invited me. You said —
The Doctor: Before that. I met you at the Dalek Asylum. There was a girl in a shipwreck, and she died saving my life, and she was you.
Clara: She really wasn't.
The Doctor: Victorian London. There was a governess who was really a barmaid, and we fought the Great Intelligence together. She died, and it was my fault, and she was you!
Clara: You're scaring me.
The Doctor: What are you, eh? A trick? A trap?
Clara: I don't know what you're talking about! [She stumbles backwards, and the Doctor clasps her to keep her from falling over the cliff beside them]
The Doctor: ...You really don't, do you?
Clara: I think I'm more scared of you right now than anything else on that TARDIS.
The Doctor: You're just Clara, aren't you? [he hugs her]
Clara: Okay. I don't know what the hell this is about, but the hug is really nice.
Clara: What are you going to do?
The Doctor: Rewrite today, I hope. I've thrown this through the time rift before. I need to make sure this time. Gonna take it in there myself. There might be a certain amount of yelling.
Clara: Is it going to hurt?
The Doctor: Things that end your life often do that.
Clara: Wait! All those things you said. How we've met before, how I died.
The Doctor: Clara, don't worry. You'll forget. Time mends us. It can mend anything.
Clara: I don't wanna forget. Not all of it. The library. I saw it. You were mentioned in a book.
The Doctor: I'm mentioned in a lot of books.
Clara: You call yourself "Doctor". Why do you do that? You have a name. I've seen it in one corner of that tiny - [He silences her]
The Doctor: If I rewrite today, you won't remember. You won't go looking... for my name.
Clara: You'll still have secrets?
The Doctor: It's better that way.

The Crimson Horror [7.11]

edit
(4 May 2013)
The Doctor: [Emerging from the TARDIS] Okay! So, not London, 1893 – Yorkshire, 1893. Near enough.
Clara: You’re making a habit of this. Getting us lost.
The Doctor: Sorry. It’s much better than it used to be. I once spent a hell of a long time trying to get a gobby Australian to Heathrow airport.
Clara: What for?
The Doctor: Search me. Anyway— [There is a scream in the distance. They look at each other] Brave heart, Clara.
Strax: [having just fought off a group of attacking pilgrims] What now, Madame? We could lay mimetic cluster mines!
Madame Vastra: Strax-
Strax: Or dig trenches and fill them with acid!
Madame Vastra: Strax! You're overexcited. Have you been eating Miss Jenny's sherbet fancies again?
Strax: ...No...?
Madame Vastra: Go outside and wait until I call for you.
Strax: But Madame-!
Madame Vastra: Go!
Strax: [stomping off sulkily] I'm going to go and play with my grenades...
The Doctor: Right, right, London. We were headed for London, weren't we?
Clara: Was there any particular reason?
The Doctor: No! No, just thought you might...like it.
Clara: Yeah... Maybe had enough of Victorian values for a bit. [steps into the TARDIS]
The Doctor: You're the boss.
Clara: [pokes her head out, bemused] Am I?
The Doctor: [realising what he's just said] No! No! Get in! [Clara does so, smirking]

Nightmare in Silver [7.12]

edit
(11 May 2013)
Cyber-Planner: Hey, Clara! There you are. Now, a quick rundown. What's our weapons strength?
Clara: One big gun, five of those hand pulsar units, and a shiny black bomb that implodes the planet.
Cyber-Planner: Yeah, yeah. That one. Now, tell me, does it happen, possibly, to have a sort-of remote triggery thing? [she shows it to him] Brilliant. Pass it here.
Clara: No.
Cyber-Planner: Why not?
Clara:In case you're not you right now. Or even if you are – just in case.
Cyber-Planner: Oh, don't worry. The Cyber-Planner's hibernating between moves right now. Shh.
Clara: Prove you're you. Tell me something only the Doctor knows.
Cyber-Planner: Clara... I suppose... I'm the only one who knows how I... feel about you right now. How funny you are... so funny... and pretty. [she smiles] And the truth is I'm starting to like you in a way that is more than just... [he leans in to kiss her. She slaps him].
The Doctor: Ow! Ow, ow! Yes! It's me! That really hurt!
The Doctor: Ah, hello. Can someone untie me, please?
Clara: Do you think I'm pretty?
The Doctor: No. You're too short and bossy, and your nose is all funny.
Clara: Good enough.

The Name of the Doctor [7.13]

edit
(18 May 2013)
Clara: It's a hell of a monument.
The Doctor: It's the TARDIS.
Clara: I can see that.
The Doctor: No. When a TARDIS is dying, sometimes the dimension dams start breaking down. They used to call it a size leak. All the bigger-on-the-inside starts leaking to the outside. It grows. When I say that's the TARDIS, I don't mean it looks like the TARDIS, I mean it actually is the TARDIS, my TARDIS from the future. What else would they bury me in?
Great Intelligence: The Doctor's life is a open wound. And an open wound can be entered.
The Doctor: No, it would destroy you--
Great Intelligence: Not at all. It will kill me. It will destroy you. I can rewrite your every living moment. I can turn every one of you victories into defeats. Poison every friendship. Deliver pain to your every breath.
The Doctor: It will burn you up! Once you go through, you can't come back. You will be scattered along my timeline like confetti!
Great Intelligence: It matters not, Doctor. You thwarted me at every turn. Now you will give me peace, as I take my revenge on every second of your life. Goodbye. Goodbye, Doctor. [enters the time stream]
Clara: [narrating] Sometimes it's like I've lived a thousand lives in a thousand places. I'm born, I live, I die. And always, there's the Doctor. Always I'm running to save the Doctor. Again and again and again. And he hardly ever hears me. But I've always been there.
[The First Doctor and Susan are about to steal a faulty TARDIS]
Clara: Doctor?
The First Doctor: Yes? What is it? What do you want?
Clara: [narrating] Right from the very beginning.
Clara: Sorry, but you're about to make a very big mistake. Don't steal that one, steal this one. The navigation system's knackered, but you'll have much more fun.
Clara: [narrating] Right from the day he started running.
[As the Doctor hugs Clara, he notices a man in the distance, his back turned to the pair of them. The Doctor's expression turns to one of horror. Clara turns around to see the man.]
Clara: Who's that?
The Doctor: Never mind. Let's go back.
Clara: But who is he?
The Doctor: He's me. There's only me here. That's the point. Now let's get back.
Clara: But I never saw that one. I saw all of you. Eleven faces, all of them you! You're the eleventh Doctor!
The Doctor: I said he was me. I never said he was the Doctor.
Clara: I don't understand.
The Doctor: My name, my real name - that is not the point. The name I chose is the Doctor. The name you choose, is like... it's like a promise you make. He's the one who broke the promise.
[Clara collapses from exhaustion]
The Doctor: Clara? Clara! Clara!
[The Doctor catches her and picks her up]
The Doctor: He is my secret.
The War Doctor: What I did, I did without choice.
The Doctor: I know.
The War Doctor: In the name of peace and sanity.
The Doctor: But not in the name of the Doctor!

2013 specials

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The Day of the Doctor

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(23 November 2013)
The Doctor: [Trailer narration] I've been running all my lives... through time and space. Every second of every minute of every day for over nine hundred years. I fought for peace in a universe at war. Now the time has come to face the choices I made in the name of the Doctor. Our future depends on one single moment of one impossible day. The day I've been running from all my life. The day of the Doctor.
[The War Doctor asking what he needs to know to discover what sort of man he will become]
The War Doctor: Did you ever count?
The Eleventh Doctor: Count what?
The War Doctor: How many children there were on Gallifrey that day?
The Eleventh Doctor: I have absolutely no idea.
The War Doctor: How old are you now?
The Eleventh Doctor: Uh, I don't know, I lose track. Twelve hundred and something, I think, unless I'm lying. I can't remember if I'm lying about my age, that's how old I am.
The War Doctor: Four hundred years older than me and in all that time you never even wondered how many there were. You never once counted?
The Eleventh Doctor: Tell me, what would be the point?
The Tenth Doctor: [angry at The Eleventh Doctor] Two point four seven billion!
The War Doctor: You did count!
The Tenth Doctor: [to The Eleventh Doctor] You forgot! Four hundred years, is that all it takes?!
The Eleventh Doctor: I moved on!
The Tenth Doctor: Where?! Where can you be now that you can forget something like that?!
The Eleventh Doctor: Spoilers.
The Tenth Doctor: No, no, no. For once, I would like to know where I'm going.
The Eleventh Doctor: No, you really wouldn't.
The Tenth Doctor: ...you're not seriously suggesting we change our own history.
The Eleventh Doctor: We change history all the time! I'm suggesting something far worse.
The War Doctor: What, exactly?
The Eleventh Doctor: Gentlemen. I have had four hundred years to think about this... I've changed my mind!
The Tenth Doctor: General, we have a plan.
The Eleventh Doctor: At the moment, we should point out it is a fairly terrible plan.
The Tenth Doctor: And it almost certainly won't work.
The Eleventh Doctor: I was fine with "fairly terrible".
The Tenth Doctor: Sorry, just thinking out loud.
The War Doctor: Just about ready to do it.

Gallifreyan General: Ready to do what?

The Eleventh Doctor: We're going to freeze Gallifrey.
Gallifreyan General: I'm sorry, what?
The Tenth Doctor: Using our TARDISes, we're gonna freeze Gallifrey in a single moment in time.
The War Doctor: You know, like those stasis cubes? A single moment in time held in a parallel pocket universe.
The Eleventh Doctor: Except we're going to do it to a whole planet.
The Tenth Doctor: And all the people on it.
Gallifreyan General: What? Even if that were possible—which it isn't—why would you do such a thing?
The Eleventh Doctor: Because the alternative is burning.
The Tenth Doctor: And I've seen that.
The Eleventh Doctor: And I never want to see it again.
Gallifreyan General: We'd be lost in another universe. Frozen in a single moment. We'd have nothing.
The Eleventh Doctor: You would have hope. And right now that is exactly what you don't have.
Gallifreyan General: It's delusional! Why, the calculations alone would take hundreds of years!
The Eleventh Doctor: Oh, hundreds and hundreds.
The Tenth Doctor: But don't worry. I started a very long time ago.
[The camera zooms past the attacking Dalek fleet to reveal another TARDIS flying into scene]
The First Doctor: Calling the War Council of Gallifrey: This is the Doctor!
[The Doctor's other incarnations fly their TARDISes towards Gallifrey]
The Eleventh Doctor: You might say, I've been doing this all my lives.
The Eleventh Doctor: I could be a curator. I'd be great at curating. I'd be...the Great Curator! [laughs softly] I could retire and do that. I could retire and be the curator of this place.
Curator: [from behind] You know, I really think you might. [The Eleventh Doctor turns and is stunned to see the Curator, who looks and sounds a lot like an elderly Fourth Doctor]
The Eleventh Doctor: I never forget a face.
Curator: I know you don't. And in years to come, you might might find yourself...revisiting a few. But just...the old favorites, eh? You were curious about this painting, I think. I acquired it in remarkable circumstances. What do you make of the title?
The Eleventh Doctor: Well, which title? There's two: "No More"...or "Gallifrey Falls".
Curator: No, you see, that's where everybody's wrong. It's all one title: "Gallifrey Falls No More". Now...what would you think that means, eh?
The Eleventh Doctor: That Gallifrey didn't fall. It worked! It's still out there!
Curator: I'm only a humble curator. I'm sure I wouldn't know.
The Eleventh Doctor: Then where is it?
Curator: Where is it, indeed?
The Eleventh Doctor: [whispering] Yes.
Curator: Lost, shh! Perhaps. Things do get lost, you know. And now you must excuse me. Ohhh...you have a lot to do.
The Eleventh Doctor: Do I? Is that what I'm supposed to do now, go looking for Gallifrey?
Curator: Well, that's entirely up to you. Your choice, eh? I can only tell you what I would do. If I were you... [laughs softly] "If I were you..." [laughs some more] Perhaps I was you, of course. [they both laugh softly] Or, perhaps you are me. [both laugh again as the Curator shakes the Doctor's hand] Congratulations.
The Eleventh Doctor: Thank you very much.
Curator: Or, perhaps, it doesn't matter, either way. Who knows? "Who..." [taps his nose] "knows"?
The Eleventh Doctor: [voice over] Clara sometimes asks me if I dream. "Of course I dream," I tell her, "Everybody dreams". "But what do you dream about?" she'll ask. "The same thing everybody dreams about," I tell her, "I dream about where I'm going." She always laughs at that. "But you're not going anywhere, you're just wandering about". That's not true. Not anymore. I have a new destination. My journey is the same as yours, the same as anyone's. It's taken me so many years, so many lifetimes, but, at last, I know where I'm going, where I've always been going: Home, the long way 'round.

The Time of the Doctor

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(25 December 2013)
The Doctor: I'm the Doctor. I’m a Time Lord from the planet Gallifrey. I stole a time machine and ran away, and I've been flouting the principle law of my own people ever since! [Claps a hand over his mouth] That wasn't quite what I was meant to say.
Clara: I'm an English teacher from planet Earth, and I ran off with a man from space because I really fancy... [claps a hand over her mouth, looking shocked]
Woman: I think, perhaps, you should stop talking till you get used to it.
The Doctor: Used to what?
Woman: What did you say your name was?
Clara: Bubbly-personality-masking-bossy-control-freak! [Claps her hand back over her mouth]
The Doctor: I'm wearing a wig! [Claps hand over mouth. The couple laughs.] No! Ah, I see! Yes, of course. It's a truth field. Oh, that is so quaint. I haven't seen a truth field in years! I'm wearing a wig!
Man: No one can lie in this town, especially this close to the tower.
The Doctor: Doesn't that make life a bit difficult?
Woman: Not at all.
Man: Yes!
[The Doctor and Clara have discovered a crack in time]
The Doctor: If you were trying to break through a wall, you'd choose the weakest spot. If you were trying to break into this universe you'd choose this crack, because — No! If you were trying to break back into this universe! [to Handles] You said "Gallifrey"! Why did you say "Gallifrey"?
Handles: Analysis of message composition indicates Gallifreyan origin according to TARDIS data banks.
Clara: You said Gallifrey was gone.
The Doctor: No, I said it was in another universe. The message is coming through here. The truth field is, too, at a guess. If it's the Time Lords — if it's the Time Lords! [he produces a Gallifreyan seal from his pocket] Seal of the High Council of Gallifrey, nicked it off the Master in the Death Zone. There is an algorithm imprinted in the atomic structure. Use it to decode the message.
Handles: Message decoding. Message analysis proceeding. Information available: The message is a request for information.
The Doctor: It's a question! Why can't you just say it's a question?!
Handles: It is being projected through all of time and space on a repeating cycle.
The Doctor: [realizing] "The oldest question in the universe, hidden in plain sight."
Handles: Warning: Translation will be available to all life forms in range. Translation follows: "Doctor who?" "Doctor who?" "Doctor who?"
Dalek Commander: You are dying, Doctor.
The Doctor: Yes, I am dying. You've been trying to kill me for centuries, and here I am, dying of old age. If you want something done, do it yourself.
Dalek Commander: You will die, and the Time Lords will never return.
The Doctor: You still can't work up the courage to shoot me, can you? You're still worried I've got something up my sleeve! [Dejectedly] Well, knock yourselves out, boys. I've got nothing this time.
[A crack in time opens in the sky, and regeneration energy drifts down from the crack into the Doctor's mouth.]
Dalek Commander: You will die now, Doctor. This is the end of you! The rules of regeneration are known. You have expended all your lives!
The Doctor: Sorry, what did you say? Did you mention the rules? Now, listen. A bit of advice: tell me the truth if you think you know it, lay down the law if you're feeling brave, but, Daleks, never ever tell me the rules!
Dalek Commander: [panicking] Emergency! Emergency! The Doctor is regenerating! The Doctor is regenerating!
[The clock tower begins to strike twelve]
The Doctor: Oh, look at this! Regeneration number thirteen! We're breaking some serious science here, boys! And I tell you what, it's gonna be a whopper!
Daleks: Exterminate! Exterminate the Doctor!
The Doctor: You think you can stop me now, Daleks? [shouting] IF YOU WANT MY LIFE, COME AAAAAAND GET IT!!!!!
[The Doctor focuses his regenerative energy to destroy several flying Dalek ships.]
The Doctor: {continuing] Love from Gallifrey, boys!
[The Doctor unleashes a blast from his head and hands that obliterates the Dalek mother ship overhead, sending out a shock wave that destroys all Daleks in the area and decimates the town and surrounding countryside.]
The Doctor: It all just disappears, doesn't it? Everything you are, gone in a moment, like breath on a mirror. Any moment now... He's a-comin'.
Clara: Who's coming?
The Doctor: The Doctor.
Clara: You. You are the Doctor.
The Doctor: Yep, and I always will be. [his hand starts glowing] But times change, and so must I.
[From the Doctor's perspective, he hears a little girl's laugh and sees a young Amelia Pond runs past him, the TARDIS walls and rails covered with drawings of the Eleventh Doctor and his adventures]
The Doctor: Amelia!
Clara: Who's Amelia?
The Doctor: The first face this face saw. We all change. When you think about it, we're all different people all through our lives, and that's okay, that's good, you gotta keep moving, so long as you remember all the people that you used to be. I will not forget one line of this. Not one day. I swear. I will always remember when the Doctor was me.
[A vision of an adult Amy walks down the stairs. They touch each other's faces]
Amy: Raggedy man... Goodnight.
[The Amy vision disappears. The Doctor slowly takes off his bow tie and drops it on the floor, then closes his eyes in preparation to regenerate.]
Clara: No, no, no!
The Doctor: Hey... [extends his glowing hand to her]
Clara: Please don't change.
[The Doctor abruptly regenerates.]

Other appearances

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Doctor Who

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Meanwhile in the TARDIS, Pt. 2

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(DVD extra, released 8 November 2010)

[Describing himself]
The Doctor: [I'm like] Gandalf. Like a space Gandalf. Or the little green one in Star Wars. [Imitates the sound of a lightsaber]
Amy: You really are not. You are a bloke!
The Doctor: I'm the Doctor.
Amy: Every room you walk in, you laugh at all the men and show off to all the girls.
The Doctor: Do not.
Amy: What about Rory?
The Doctor: [snorts, imitates Rory's nose]
Amy: You laughed!
The Doctor: No, that was just an involuntary snort... of fondness.

"Space"

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(Comic Relief mini-episode, 18 March 2011)
[The TARDIS has plunged into darkness.]
The Doctor: Rory, did you drop a thermo-coupling?
Rory: Sh-Sorry!
The Doctor: Oh, how did you do that?! I told you, 'Don't drop them!' I specifically mentioned not dropping!
Amy: I-It was my fault.
The Doctor: Of course it wasn't your fault.
Rory: It kinda-kind of was her fault.
The Doctor: How can it be her fault?!
Amy: Because it was my skirt, and my husband, and your glass floor.
The Doctor: [pauses to process this] Oh, Rory!
Rory: Sorry.

"Time"

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(Comic Relief mini-episode, 18 March 2011)
Amy: Do I really look like that?
Future Amy: Yeah. Yeah, you do.
Amy: Mmm. I'd give you your driving license.
Future Amy: Mmmm, I bet you would....
The Doctor: Oh, so this is how it all ends, Pond flirting with herself. True love at last. Oh. Sorry, Rory.
Rory: Absolutely no problem at all...
The Doctor: Ok, we're back in normal flight. The TARDIS is no longer inside itself, the localised time field is no longer about to implode and rip a hole in all causality, but just in case... Pond, put some trousers on.

Death is the Only Answer

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(Doctor Who Confidential mini-episode, broadcast 1 October 2011)
Albert Einstein: So, how did I get here?
The Doctor: You're the original owner of this fez, a fez I happened to be carrying during an unavoidable collision with this lever. My lever plus your fez equals time window in the TARDIS. My TARDIS, by the way, so don't get any ideas trying to steal it... again!
Albert Einstein: But you said you were going to give my toothbrush back.
The Doctor: About that, the Daleks kind of exterminated it last week. Or was it last century?
Albert Einstein: [pointing at the Erlenmeyer flask with a green liquid in it] So, going back to this, I guess it's not bionic fusion liquid?
The Doctor: [takes the flask] Never mind, pass it to me, I'll just run some tests.
Albert Einstein: [grabbing it back] I made it, I'll do the tests!
The Doctor: [annoyed] That's the twentieth-century physicist for you: always wanting to do it themselves.
Albert Einstein: Where have you hidden my bicarbonated processing machine, huh? A genius like me needs better than this old trash!
The Doctor: [furious] Old trash!? I'll have you know, this "old trash" will be around until the end of time. In fact, it was.
The Doctor: Ah! And, Albert, I almost forgot - do not drink that liquid.
The Doctor: It may Ooh! ... I like your new look.
The Doctor: It's an Ood, isn't it? You've got the wiggly bits and everything.
Albert Einstein: Death is the only answer.
The Doctor: What do you mean? Answer to what? OK, you don't want to tell me.
The Doctor: But wait, wait this is what you're looking for.
The Doctor: Power source for your time machine.
Albert Einstein: CRACKLING What just happened?
The Doctor: Long story. You went a bit Ood - er, a bit odd.
The Doctor: Nice hair, btw!

"Deep Breath" [8.1]

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(23 August 2014)
[The Eleventh Doctor is ringing Clara from Trenzalore just before he regenerates]
The Eleventh Doctor: It's me.
Clara: Yes, it's you. Who is this?
The Eleventh Doctor: It's me, Clara. The Doctor.
Clara: What do you mean, the Doctor?
The Eleventh Doctor: I'm phoning you from Trenzalore.
Clara: I don't...
The Eleventh Doctor: From before I changed. I mean it's all still to happen for me. It's coming. Oh, it's a-coming. Not long now. I can feel it.
Clara: Why? Why would you do this?
The Eleventh Doctor: Because I think it's going to be a whopper, and I think you might be scared. And however scared you are, Clara, the man you are with right now, the man I hope you are with, believe me, he is more scared than anything you can imagine right now and he, he needs you.
The Twelfth Doctor: So who is it?
The Eleventh Doctor: [Hearing his future self's voice in the background] Is that the Doctor?
The Twelfth Doctor: [Hearing his previous self's voice from the phone] Is that the Doctor?
Clara: [to the Eleventh Doctor] Yes.
The Eleventh Doctor: He sounds old. Please tell me I didn't get old. Anything but old! I was young! Oh, is he grey?
Clara: Yes.
The Eleventh Doctor: Clara, please, hey, for me, help him. Go on. And don't be afraid. Goodbye, Clara. Miss ya...

Doctor Who at the Proms (2010)

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(Broadcast 10 September 2010, BBC Three)
The Doctor: The Royal Albert Hall is saved! Hurrah! Now, listen, well done, everyone. Don't worry-- I mean, the force has been dissipated through the entire building. I bet you're going to ask, are there going to be any side effects? Well, no, absolutely not, unless you've got your mobile phone on, in which case you're going to die.

The Science of Doctor Who (2013)

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(Broadcast 14 November 2013; lectures written by Brian Cox; Doctor Who skits written by Steve Thompson)

The Sarah Jane Adventures

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Death of the Doctor [SJA 4.5/4.6]

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(25 & 26 October 2010)
The Doctor: Good, so gosh, that was different. Hello, everyone!
Rani: Who are you? Where's Clyde?
The Doctor: Come on, Rani, use your brain; Clyde and I swapped places, yes? So I'm where he was, he's where I was, which means right now— oh. He's in a lot of trouble...
The Doctor: Ah, yes. The Claw Shansheeth of the 15th Funeral Fleet; I've been looking for you. Have you been telling people I'm dead?!
Shansheeth Leader: I apologise; The death notice was released a little too soon. But I can rectify this - immediately! [fires an energy beam at the Doctor] I'm so sorry for your loss, Doctor. Rest in peace!
[The Doctor and Sarah Jane are repairing the Doctor's space-time swapping device using Sarah Jane's sonic lipstick. Jo Jones is in the background]
The Doctor: There and there.
Sarah Jane: [applies the sonic lipstick] Does it hurt?
The Doctor: No.
Sarah Jane: I mean the regeneration. That last body of yours, was he okay, I mean?
The Doctor: It always hurts. And there.
Sarah Jane: So how did you end up in this place?
The Doctor: The Shansheeth lured me; a mighty old battlefield just begging to be explored, 'cause I'm travelling with Amy now, and Rory. Then they got married, so I dropped them off on a honeymoon planet, which isn't what you'd think; It's not a planet for a honeymoon, it's a planet on a honeymoon. It married an asteroid. [Sarah Jane and the Doctor laugh] And they nicked the TARDIS. The Shansheeth, not Amy and, err... Fortunately, I had all this wreckage to build a space swapping doodah-thingy-whatsit.
Jo: So you have a married couple in the TARDIS.
The Doctor: Mr and Mrs Pond!
Jo: I only left you because I got married.
The Doctor: [quietly, to Sarah Jane] And there.
Jo: Did you think I was stupid?
The Doctor: Why do you say that?
Jo: Well, I was a bit dumb; still am, I suppose.
The Doctor: [turning to face Jo] Now what in the world would make you think that, ever, ever, ever?
Jo: We had been travelling down the Amazon for months and we reached a village in Crystalline, and it was the only place in thousands of miles that has a telephone, so I called you; I just wanted to say hello. And they told me that you left, left U.N.I.T, never came back, so I waited and waited, because you said you would see me again; you did; I asked you and you said yes, you promised, so I thought one day I would hear that sound, deep in the jungle; I would hear that funny wheezing noise and a big blue box right in the middle of the rainforest, because you wouldn't just leave; not forever, not me. [starts to cry] I've waited my whole, silly life.
The Doctor: Oh, but you're an idiot.
Jo: Well, there we have it!
The Doctor: No, but don't you see? How could I ever find you? You've spent the past 40 years living in huts, climbing up trees, tearing down barricades. You've done everything from flying kites on Kilimanjaro to sailing down the Yangtze in a tea-chest. Not even the TARDIS could pin you down!
Jo: Hold on... I did sail down the Yangtze in a tea-chest! How did you know?
The Doctor: And that family! All 7 kids, 12 grandchildren, 13th on his way. He's dyslexic, but that'll be fine; great swimmer.
Jo: So you've been watching me? All this time?
The Doctor: No. Because you're right. I don't look back. I can't. But the last time I was dying, I looked back on all of you. Every single one. And I was so proud.
The Doctor: The coffin was the trap. The coffin was the solution. That's so neat I could write a thesis.

Big Finish audio plays

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Short Trips — Regeneration Impossible [10.5]

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(23 May 2020)
The Eleventh Doctor: Perhaps it's time that the Time Lords started to redeem themselves... Take that last chapter and make it a prologue to something better -- something new. Perhaps... I don't have to be alone anymore.
The Eleventh Doctor: Regenerating in a morgue? Blimey... There's something you only do once.
The Eleventh Doctor: Hello, madam! Any chance you're using that slab for a really dedicated nap?
The Twelfth Doctor: Oh yes. And she's given up breathing for Lent.
The Eleventh Doctor: So you're the one who--
The Twelfth Doctor: No, no, shut up! Things are bad enough without you sticking your chin in...
The Twelfth Doctor: Doctor... a friend of mine — yours, ours... once told me that you don’t have to save everyone. You just have to save someone. It’s something I have to remind myself of from time to time. But also... just because you fail to save someone doesn't mean you should abandon trying to save everyone else.
"Gregory Chapman": It'll be an honor to rid the universe of the Time Lord plague!
The Eleventh Doctor: No, it won't! I've done it and it is not an honor or a privilege. It's an anchor that holds back every decision you make, every thought tempered by the guilt that you feel. You can't outrun it because it lives in you. Dulls the happiest days and sharpens the loneliness.
"Gregory Chapman": Do people normally just stop because you say so? Stand around listening while you come up with a plan? They should just kill you.
[Later.]
The Eleventh Doctor: Thing is, Greggy boy, you've got one minor thing -- and I mean, a real tiddler of a thing wrong: I make the plans while the other person is talking.
The Eleventh Doctor: I would've helped you, you know. If you hadn't just stolen from me -- next time, just ask.
"Gregory Chapman": There's gonna be a next time?
The Eleventh Doctor: No...
The Twelfth Doctor: We'll always be there for each other. The only sane man in the universe, and his magic box.
[The phone rings.]
The Twelfth Doctor: No, not for me. Not yet. Don't worry, old girl, you'll be moving again soon. He'll have got over it by Christmas.

Thin Time

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(12 August 2020)
The Eleventh Doctor: "Bon apetit!" I do love the Ritz, so snooty. Have I always loved the Ritz? Did you? I mean, do you? I mean, when I was you, did I? I-- I don't recall...
The Fifth Doctor: One of my favorites. So... what am I doing here? Or, what will I be doing here?
The Eleventh Doctor: Me? Oh, I... I've been living in London for the last year. I always liked this year, it's a thin spot, you know!
The Fifth Doctor: Mm, I do know.
The Eleventh Doctor: To be honest... I'm living here in retirement. I shouldn't go into details because, you know, causality. Let's just say I got a little weary of being a liability to others. It was time to keep the world at a distance.
The Fifth Doctor: I know the feeling.
The Eleventh Doctor: Indeed...

About Eleventh Doctor

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  • "That's the great thing about the Doctor, he has the energy and mischief of a young child as well as the wisdom, age and intelligence of someone a lot older," she says. With Matt's performance, he's so believable that he isn't human. He has all these things that he does that make you believe he is an alien and you're drawn in by that."
  • Q: Matt, what’s been the most fun about playing this role?
Matt Smith: The fact that he’s always the most intelligent person to walk into a room means that he’s the most stupid and the silliest. You can explore him in any direction. He really can go from A to Z, and he’s a remarkable man to play. He’s someone that I’m actually very, very fond of, weirdly enough.
  • Q: Matt, your version of the Doctor is very quixotic, which has gone over well. Is that something you brought to the role, or is that something that was on the page?
Smith: Well, hopefully that’s a response to the material. I try to be as inventive with Steven’s writing as possible, really. He certainly allows you to be playful with the scripts that he writes, and I think the Doctor, with anything that he does, plays a bit and he explores it, much like a child would. So, it’s about being like that. As an actor, I like it. I don’t know how much of it is me, though. It’s all a jumble.
Karen Gillan: What’s interesting about it is that you’re not just doing it for the sake of it. It’s all rooted somewhere. He’s not human, so he’s not familiar with the everyday things that we are, as humans. And, he’s also running away from something. I think that’s what’s interesting for me.
  • Q: What are the qualities you share with the Doctor, and how are you completely different?
Matt Smith: Well, I’m not 900. I’m not an alien. No, I’m being facetious, sorry. The Doctor is such a wonderful benchmark of how to live your life. With any character, the more that you play them, you spend a lot of time with them, so it’s quite strange. You can take a bath as the Doctor. You can go and order fish and chips as the Doctor. You can live via them, in a very interesting way, and living via the Doctor is so interesting because he’s a wonderful man.
Q: How would the Doctor taking a bath be different from Matt taking a bath?
Matt Smith: Wow, I don’t know. The Doctor would probably have some sort of duck that could talk, or something. His bath would be way more interesting. That’s the thing. My point is that every detail of your live that you look at, if you look at it through his eyes, it’s more interesting. That’s what is great about playing a character like this. It’s why children like him. He doesn’t dismiss anything. He’s not cynical. He’s open to every single facet of the universe. I think that’s a remarkable place to be in.
  • So, he’s a swaggering bully—who also withholds vital information from the people about whom he supposedly cares the most. During the first season, when Rory dies and gets swallowed up by the Crack in the Universe, thus ceasing ever to have existed, the Doctor remembers Rory, but Amy, Rory’s fiancé, doesn’t. Does the Doctor say, “Amy, listen to me, I know you don’t remember, but you had this fiancé, and you’d actually decided to go through with the wedding after that time you sexually assaulted me, but he got drawn into the Crack in your wall—and I know that it’s got something to do with me. Look, here’s a piece of the TARDIS I pulled out of the Crack! With your help, we’re going to fix this, I promise. And we definitely will not start off two of the next three episodes by going to museums. Come along, Pond!”
    No, he doesn’t, and they do start off two of the next three episodes by going to museums.
  • The 50th Anniversary Special, “The Day of the Doctor,” offered a welcome respite from this dreary slog; it was easily the best Who episode Moffat had written since “The Pandorica Opens/The Big Bang.” Despite the generally positive notices the special got, some critics hated Moffat’s retconning the defining act of the revived series: It turns out that the Doctor didn’t actually kill all of the Time Lords, as it had been written by previous showrunner Russell T. Davies, he just hid them away in a pocket universe. While I find Moffat’s compulsion to insert his own characters into existing Who continuity annoying (c.f. the laughable Forrest Gumping of Clara into footage of Classic Doctors in “The Name of the Doctor”), I actually don’t think his rewriting of this act of genocide totally obviates the Davies era’s emotional content. So it turns out that the Time Lords are lost, instead of annihilated? Hell, the Doctor thought he’d destroyed the Daleks, too, and they just keep coming back. Why shouldn’t the Time Lords get an out?
    But while, within the context of the episode, this turning-already-established-defeat-into-victory didn’t bother me, it does fit into a pattern of storytelling cowardice on Moffat’s part. There are just never any consequences for any main characters in Moffat’s Doctor Who. Every apparent sacrifice, tragic loss, or moral compromise is invalidated by some kind of reset button, with no physical or psychological cost. The “loss” of the Ponds was so nonsensical that it doesn’t even count. They got to live full lives together in the past, but the Doctor could never go back and see them again? It’s insulting. Why not have the two of them make a meaningful sacrifice and actually, you know, die? Whose feelings is Moffat trying to spare here?
    As Capt. James T. Kirk witheringly observes of himself—in a neat bit of character development that also doubles as commentary on how static Kirk’s persona was during the original Star Trek series—he’d always been able to find the out, the cheat code, the reset button. He’d never had to face the no-win scenario. He thought he’d gotten away with it again—and then he found out that sometimes victory does have a cost, in this case, the life of his best friend. Now, in story terms, it sucks that the Star Trek franchise promptly undid this by bringing Spock back in the next movie, but it’s because of Kirk’s change and growth that Khan is rightly regarded as the best of the Trek films.
    The 11th Doctor is TV-show Kirk, not Wrath of Khan Kirk. He neither changed nor grew. Moffat even dubbed him “The Man Who Forgets” in the 50th Anniversary special—and in that episode, his journey is away from a defining, horrific moral choice he made, and towards a cheat code.
  • But you know what? Matt Smith, man. In the middle of this train wreck, he does a bit with a severed Cyberman head that actually finds a heartstring. When Handles finally craps out and “dies,” Smith, in his late-middle-age makeup, calls his name a couple of times and stares at the thing. The look on his face evokes memories not just of the similarly robotic K-9, but also of all the other companions long gone. Another one, his face says. I’ve lost another one.
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