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Master (Doctor Who)

recurring character in the British television science fiction series Doctor Who
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The Master is a recurring character in the British television science fiction series Doctor Who. They are a renegade Time Lord who wants to control the universe, and an archenemy of the Doctor. They have been played by numerous actors, including Roger Delgado, Peter Pratt, Geoffrey Beevers, Anthony Ainley, Gordon Tipple, Eric Roberts, Derek Jacobi, John Simm, Michelle Gomez, and Sacha Dhawan. The Doctor thought them dead after their Prime Minister Harold Saxon incarnation, until his resurrection in a sabotaged ritual (which left him in a failing body but with the ability to manipulate his life force as electrical energy), and again after confronting Rassilon and saving the Doctor in The End of Time. In Dark Water, it is revealed that the Master has not only survived once more, but has regenerated into a female incarnation, going by the name "the Mistress" or "Missy" for short. This incarnation of the Master was shot by her previous incarnation in The Doctor Falls, where the latter states that the full blast of the shot would prevent her from regenerating. However, a new incarnation of the Master was revealed in Spyfall, who took on the life of O, an MI6 Agent who was let off before the events of the episode.

Doctor Who — Incarnations of The Doctor : 1st - 2nd - 3rd - 4th - 5th - 6th - 7th - 8th - War - 9th - 10th - 11th - 12th - 13th - 14th - 15th

Quotes

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I just wanted to say: thank you. Thank you, one and all, you ugly, fat-faced bunch of wet, snivelling traitors.
  • I only need two things. Your submission and your obedience to MY WILL!
  • Nobody could be more devoted to the cause of peace than I! As a commissioner of Earth's Interplanetary Police, I have devoted my life to the cause of law and order; And law and order can only exist in a time of peace.
  • You do not understand hatred as I understand it. Only hate keeps me alive. Why else should I endure this pain?
  • Before we start all that, I just wanted to say: thank you. Thank you, one and all, you ugly, fat-faced bunch of wet, snivelling traitors.
    • After being elected Prime Minister of Great Britain, in The Sound of Drums [3.12] (23 June 2007)
  • The human race was always your favourite, Doctor. But now, there is no human race. There is only... the Master race!
    • Replacing nearly all of humanity with replicants of himself, in The End of Time [4.17–4.18] (25 December 2009 - 1 January 2010)
  • Get out of the way. … You did this to me! All of my life! You made me! One! Two! Three! Four!
    • Saving the Doctor from death, by attacking Rassilon and dooming himself, after realizing that Rassilon had been responsible for much of his life-long agony, in The End of Time [4.17–4.18] (25 December 2009 - 1 January 2010)

Third Doctor's Serials

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The Master's catchphrase: I am the Master and you will obey me.

Terror of the Autons

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Rossini: Who the heck are you? Well?
The Master: I am usually referred to as the Master.
Rossini: Oh? Is that so?
The Master: Universally.
The Doctor: You've come here to kill me, of course?
The Master: But not without considerable regret.
The Doctor: How very comforting.
The Master: You see, Doctor, you're my intellectual equal. Almost. I have too few worthy opponents. When they've gone I always miss them.
(The Doctor answers a telephone which has a long plastic cable)
The Master: Hello Doctor, is that you?
The Doctor: Who is this? What do you want?
The Master: Simply to say goodbye, Doctor.

The Mind of Evil

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(The Keller Machine which the Master had used on Barnham instead turns on him and projects an image of his greatest fear: A giant image of the Doctor laughing at him)
The Master: No! No! You can't destroy me! I am too strong for you! I am too strong for you!
The Doctor: If you harm so much as one hair on her head, I'll...
(The Master pulls out a gun and holds the Doctor at gunpoint)
The Master: You'll do nothing! Or I'll put a bullet through both your hearts.

The Claws of Axos

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[On how to survive a nuclear blast.]
The Master: You could take the usual precautions...sticky tape on the windows, that sort of thing.

Colony in Space

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The Master: You must see reason, Doctor.
The Doctor: No, I will not join you in your absurd dreams of a galactic conquest.
The Master: (Exasperated.) Why? Why?! Look at this...
(The Master returns to the console and adjusts the view on the monitor. It expands to show numerous star fields.)
The Master: Look at all those planetary systems, Doctor. We could rule them all!
The Doctor: What for? What is the point?
The Master: The point is that one must rule or serve - that's a basic law of life! Why do you hesitate, Doctor? Surely it's not loyalty to the Time Lords, who exiled you on one insignificant planet?
The Doctor: You'll never understand, will you? I want to see the universe - not rule it!
The Master: Then I'm very sorry, Doctor!
(He raises his laser gun and takes aim. Suddenly, the panel over the sacrificial hatch starts to rise and the Guardian is revealed again.)
What's happening?
The Doctor: Wait and see!
(The Guardian's chair structure moves out from the alcove.)
The Master: What is it?
The Doctor: The ultimate development of life on this planet.
Guardian: (To the Doctor.) Why have you returned?
(The Guardian looks at the Master.)
What do you want here?
The Master: I want to restore this city and this planet to their former glory.
The Doctor: Don't listen to him, sir.
The Master: (Passionately.) You have here a wonderful weapon! Why with it you could bring good and peace to every world in the galaxy!
The Doctor: On the contrary! He'll bring only death and destruction!
The Master: This planet of yours could be the center of a mighty empire! The greatest that the cosmos has ever known!
The Doctor: Tell me, sir, has this weapon of yours ever brought good to your planet?
Guardian: Once the weapon was built, our race began to decay. The radiation from the weapon's power source poisoned the soil of our planet.
The Doctor: Exactly! The weapon has only brought death - and yet he wants to spread that death throughout the galaxy! Unless you destroy this weapon, sir, he will use it for evil.
The Master: No! You must be mad! Why with this, we could control every galaxy in the cosmos! We could be Gods!
Guardian: You are not fit to be a god. I sense...that if you have control of this weapon, you will bring only unhappiness and destruction to the entire universe.
The Master: Then die!

The Dæmons

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The Master: I only need two things. Your submission and your obedience to MY WILL!
The Master: As my will so mote it be!
The Master: To do my will shall be the whole of the law!
The Master: BMAL ELTTIL A DAH YRAM!

The Time Monster

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The Doctor: You're risking the total destruction of the entire cosmos.
The Master: Of course I am. All or nothing, literally! What a glorious alternative!

Frontier in Space

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[Having seen through a bluff.]
The Master: Thank you, Miss Grant -- we'll let you know!

Fourth Doctor's Serials

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The Deadly Assassin

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The Master: Predictable as ever, Doctor.
The Master: You do not understand hatred as I understand it. Only hate keeps me alive. Why else should I endure this pain?
The Master: I have suffered long enough from your stupid, stubborn interference in my designs! Now we are coming to the end of our conflict, Doctor.
The Master: Rassilon's discovery, all mine! I shall have supreme power over the universe! Master of all matter!
The Master: Doctor, my congratulations, you're just in time for the end!
The Doctor: You're insane! You're insane, do you hear me? You're releasing a force that nothing can stop!
The Master: Take the rod. You could take it with you to your grave, except that none of you will need a grave!
The Doctor: If you undo that, you'll die as surely as any of us!
The Master: You can do better than that, Doctor. Even in extremis, I wear the Sash of Rassilon!
The Doctor: Yes! And the president was wearing it when he was shot down! The sash won't protect you! It's damaged!
The Master: You lie!

The Keeper of Traken

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The Master: I am now nearing the end of my twelfth regeneration.
The Doctor: And that is the end for Time Lords.
The Master: But not for the Keeper of Traken.
The Master: So, a new body at last.
[The Master possesses the body of Tremas.]
The Master: A new body, at last.

Logopolis

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Nyssa : You killed my father.
The Master: But his body remains useful.
[The Master broadcasts to the entire universe from a radio tower"]
The Master: Peoples of the Universe, please attend carefully. The message that follows is vital to the future of you all. The choice for you all is simple; a continued existence under my guidance or total annihilation.
The Doctor and the Master arrive via the Master's TARDIS to the control room
Doctor: I envy you your TARDIS, Master.
Master: Excellent, Doctor, envy is the beginning of all true greatness!

Fifth Doctor's Serials

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Time-Flight

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The Master: Devious to the last, Doctor.

The King's Demons

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The Master: Oh my dear Doctor, you have been naïve.
The Master: You've always been my greatest stimulation, my dear Doctor but now, you inspire me.

The Five Doctors

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Lord President Borusa: [To the Master] You are one of the most evil and corrupt beings our Time Lord race has ever produced. Your crimes are without number and your villainy without end.
Sarah Jane Smith: Doctor, who is he?
The Third Doctor: Oh, that's my best enemy. He likes to be known as the Master, don't you?
The Master: A cosmos without the Doctor scarcely bears thinking about.
The Master: [To the Cyber Leader] I am the Master, and your loyal servant.
The First Doctor: Do I know you, young man?
The Master: Believe it or not, we were at the academy together.
The Master: Killing you once was never enough for me, Doctor. How...how gratifying to do it three times over.
Rassilon: [Before removing the Master from the Dark Tower] His sins will find their punishment in due time.

Planet of Fire

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[To Peri.]
The Master: I am the Master!
Peri: So what? I'm Perpugilliam Brown, and I can shout just as loud as you can!
[To The Doctor.]
The Master: Won't you show mercy to your own ... ?[Disappearing] Aaaah! AAAAahh! Aaaah!

Sixth Doctor's Serials

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The Mark of the Rani

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The Master: You are indeed a worthy opponent, Doctor. It's what gives your destruction its... piquancy.
The Master: [About the Doctor] You can't miss him. He's wearing yellow trousers and a vulgarly coloured coat.

Eighth Doctor's TV Movie

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Doctor Who (1996 film)

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The Master: Oh, Doctor, soon I will have all your lives.
The Master: You know, this was all mine until he stole it from me. He should never have been allowed to be here.
Lee: You know, I was told he was dead.
The Master: Well that body had died, but now he's regenerated into another one...You know, my body can do this twelve times, but... He's taken most of my regenerations.
Lee: What'd he do with them?
The Master: Unspeakable crimes.
Lee: Like what?
The Master: Genghis Khan?
Lee: What about him?
The Master: That was him.
Lee: [shocked] No way!
The Master: Yes way. Look, I'm no saint, but he is evil and he's doing it all with my body. I was on the verge of stopping him when got here. [Lee turns away, unnerved]
The Master: This is an ambulance!
The Master: I always dress for the occasion! (pronounced drezz)
The Master: I have wasted all my lives because of YOU, Doctor! Now I'll be rid of you.
The Master: Life is wasted on the living!

Tenth Doctor's episodes

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"Utopia"

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The Master: [voice heard in Yana's fobwatch] The drums, the drums, the drums, the never-ending drumbeat! Open me, you human fool! Open the light and summon me and receive my majesty! Destroy him! Then you will give your power to me!
[Chantho threatens the Master with a gun]
The Master: [brandishing a live electrical cable] Oh....! Now I can say I was provoked! ... Did you never think, all those years standing beside me, to ask about that watch? Never?! Did you never once think, not ever, that you could set me free?!
Chantho: Chan, I'm sorry, tho. Chan, I'm so sorry--
The Master: [hatefully] And you, with your "Chan" and your "tho" driving me insane!
Chantho: Chan, Professor, please--
The Master: THAT IS NOT MY NAME! [laughs humourlessly] The Professor was an invention: so perfect a disguise that I forgot who I am.
Chantho: [terrified] Chan, then who are you, tho?!
The Master: I am...the Master!
[The Master has been fatally wounded by Chantho]
The Master: Killed by an insect! A girl! How inappropriate. Still...if the Doctor can be young, and strong, then so can I! The Master...reborn! [The Master begins to regenerate. As his new form appears, he lets out a terrible scream. Outside the TARDIS, Jack and Martha desperately try to keep the Futurekind out]
Jack: Doctor, you'd better think of something!
[Inside the TARDIS, the Master's regeneration is complete. He awakens, gets to his feet, looks at his surroundings, then utters a yell of triumph]
The Master: HA, HA! [The Master runs to the TARDIS's controls, laughing all the while. He activates the intercom] Now, then, Doctor... Oh, new voice! [low voice] Hello... [high voice] Hello... [normal voice] Hello. Anyway, why don't we stop and have a nice little chat where I tell you all my plans and you can work out a way to stop me, I don't think!
Martha: Hold on, I know that voice!
[The Futurekind continue to assault the door]
The Doctor: [begging] I'm asking you, really, properly, just stop! Just think!
The Master: Use my name.
The Doctor: Master... I'm sorry.
The Master: [pretends to consider] ...TOUGH! [he begins powering up the TARDIS. The Doctor uses the sonic screwdriver: inside, the controls spark and explode violently] OH NO, YOU DON'T! [alters the controls. The TARDIS begins to dematerialise] End of the universe! Have fun! Bye-bye!

"The Sound of Drums"

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The Master: [As Harold Saxon, the British Prime Minister] This country has been sick, this country needs healing, this country needs medicine – in fact I'd go so far as to say that, what this country really needs, right now, is a Doctor.
The Master: Let the work of government begin. [throws dossiers into the air]
The Master: No, no, no, before all that I just want to say... thank you. Thank you, one and all, you ugly, fat-faced bunch of wet, snivelling traitors.
Cabinet minister: Yes, quite... very funny. But I th-
The Master: [stands up] No. No, that wasn't funny. Hmmm, you see, I'm not making myself very clear. Funny is like this. [exaggerates a grin] Not funny is like this. [exaggerates a frown] And right now, I'm not like [grins again], I'm like [frowns again], because you are traitors. Yes, YOU ARE! As soon as you saw the votes swinging my way, you abandoned your parties and you jumped on the Saxon bandwagon! So... this is your reward. [dons a facial gas mask]
Albert Dumfries, MP: Excuse me, Prime Minister, but do you mind my asking, what is that?
The Master: [muffled] It's a gas mask.
Albert: I beg your pardon?
The Master: [lifts gas mask up] It's a gas mask. [smiles pleasantly, chuckles and replaces the gas mask on his face]
Albert Dumfries, MP: Yes, but why are you wearing it?
The Master: [muffled] Well, because of the gas!
Albert Dumfries, MP: I'm sorry?
The Master: [lifts up his mask again] Because of the gas! [replaces it again]
Albert Dumfries, MP: What gas?
The Master: [leans back; muffled] This gas. [The speakers of the "phones" on the desk pop up and spray toxic gas into the room]
Albert Dumfries, MP: [spluttering] You're insane!
[The Master grins and gives a double thumbs up; Albert dies, followed by the rest of the Cabinet. The Master drums out a count of four on the table]
Vivien Rook: Then tell me, who are you?
The Master: I am the Master. And these... [The Toclafane teleport and appear beside Saxon] ...are my friends.
The Master: Can't you hear it, Mrs Rook?
Vivien Rook: What do you mean?
The Master: The drumming, the drums ...coming closer, and closer.
Lucy Saxon: You promised, you said Archangel was one hundred percent.
The Master: [very much like the Doctor] Oh... ninety-nine, ninety-eight?
[After listening to Martha trying to warn her family by mobile phone]
The Master: Ooh, nice little game of hide and seek, I love that! But I'll find you, Martha Jones. Been a long time since we saw each other. [casually] Must be, what, a hundred trillion years?
Martha: Let them go, Saxon! Do you hear me?! LET THEM GO!
[The Master just grins]
The Master: [Talking on the phone] Doctor.
The Doctor: Master.
The Master: I like it when you use my name.
The Doctor: You chose it. Psychiatrist's field-day.
The Master: As you chose yours. "The man who makes people better" - how sanctimonious is that?
The Doctor: So... Prime Minister then?
The Master: I know! It's good, isn't it?
The Doctor: Who are those creatures? 'Cause there's no such thing as the Toclafane, that's just a made-up name, like the "Bogeyman".
The Master: Do you remember all those fairy tales about the Toclafane when we were kids? Back home... where is it, Doctor?
The Doctor: Gone.
The Master: [incredulous] How can Gallifrey be gone?!
The Doctor: [darkly] It burnt.
The Master: And the Time Lords?
The Doctor: Dead. [beat] And the Daleks, more or less. What happened to you?
The Master: The Time Lords only resurrected me because they knew I'd be the perfect warrior for a Time War. I was there when the Dalek Emperor took control of the Cruciform. I saw it. I ran. I ran so far. Made myself human, so they would never find me, because... I was so scared.
The Doctor: I know.
The Master: All of them? But not you - which must mean....?
The Doctor: I was the only one who could end it. And I tried, I did, I tried everything.
The Master: What did it feel like, though? Two almighty civilizations burning. [inhales dramatically] Tell me... how did that feel?
The Doctor: Stop it!
The Master: You must have been like God.
The Doctor: [still talking on the phone] I've been alone ever since. But not any more. Don't you see? All we've got is each other.
The Master: [sarcastic] Are you asking me out on a date?
The Doctor: You could stop this right now, we could leave this planet, we can fight across the constellations if that's what you want, but not on Earth!
The Master: Too late.
The Doctor: Why do you say that?
The Master: The drumming. [drums fingers on the table] Can't you hear it? [drums again] I thought it would stop, but it never does. Never, ever stops. Inside my head. The drumming, Doctor. The constant drumming.
The Doctor: I could help you. Please, let me help.
The Master: It's everywhere. Listen, listen, listen! [drums on the table] Here come the drums. Here come... the drums.
[A person near the Doctor drums similarly on his legs]
The Doctor: What have you done? Tell me how you've done this. What are those creatures?! Tell me!
The Master: Oh, look! You're on TV!
The Doctor: Stop it! Answer me!
The Master: No, seriously, you're on telly! You and your little band, which by the way is ticking every demographic box, so congratulations on that. Look, there you are. [chuckles] You're Public Enemies Number One, Two and Three. Oh, and you can tell Handsome Jack that I've sent his little gang off on a wild goose chase to the Himalayas, so you won't be getting any help from them. Now go on, off you go! Why not start by turning to the... right?
The Doctor: [does so and sees a security camera] He can see us! [The Doctor uses the Sonic Screwdriver to break a nearby security camera]
The Master: Ooh, you public menace! Better start running! Go on, run!
[After the Doctor hangs up on the Master]
The Doctor: He's got control over everything.
Martha: What do we do?
Jack: We've got nowhere to go.
Martha: Doctor, what do we do?
The Master: [Into phone] Run, Doctor! Run for your life!
Martha: Doctor, what do we do?
The Master: I SAID, RUN!
The Doctor: We run.
[while watching the Teletubbies]
The Master: Have you seen these things? This planet is amazing! Televisions in their stomachs, now that's evolution.
[It's night-time. The Doctor, Martha and Jack (all with perception filters on) are observing the Master meeting Arthur C. Winters, President of the United States, in preparation for humanity's first contact with the Toclafane, due to take place the following morning.]
The Master: [salutes the U.S. President] Mr President, sir!
U.S. President: [matter-of-factly, a demeanour he maintains through his appearances] Mr Saxon, the British Army will stand down. From now on, UNIT has control of this operation.
The Master: You make it sound like an invasion.
U.S. President: First Contact Policy was decided by the Security Council in 1968. You've just gone and ignored it.
The Master: You know what it's like... new job, all that paperwork. [thinks] I think it's down the back of the settee. I did have a quick look, I found a pen, a sweet, a bus ticket, and er... [brings Lucy forward; jovially] have you met the wife? [Lucy steps forward, smiling]
U.S. President: [briefly examines Lucy, then returns to the Master; sternly and strictly] Mr Saxon, I'm not sure what your game is, but there are provisions at the UN to have you removed from office unless you are very, very careful. Is that understood?
[The Master holds up his right index finger, as if to say "a moment, please", and drags his thumb and forefinger over his lips, his right to his left, as if to zip his mouth shut.]
U.S. President: [annoyed] Are you taking this seriously? [The Master nods, and looks serious.] To business. We've accessed your files on these so-called...Toclafane. But first contact cannot take place on any sovereign soil. To that end, the aircraft carrier Valiant is en route. The rendezvous will take place there, at 8:00am.
[The Master tries to say something, but doesn't open his mouth, following his lip-zipping gesture earlier. Instead, it sounds like the Master is humming what he is trying to say.]
U.S. President: [frustrated] You're trying my patience, sir.
The Master: [holds right index finger up, and draws right thumb and forefinger over his lips, 'unzipping them'] So, America is completely in charge?

U.S. President: [annoyed, raised voice] Since Britain elected an ass, yes! I'll see you on board the Valiant. [turns and walks away]

The Master: [hopefully] It still will be televised, though...? [the President stops and turns around] Won't it? Because, I promised, and the whole world is watching.
U.S. President: [gruffly] Since it's too late to pull out, the whole world will be watching...me! [turns around, and resumes walking away, with his handlers. The Master looks very sly.]
The Master: Anything I could do? I could make a tea, or is that not American enough? I dunno, I could make grits. What are grits anyway?
U.S. President: [addressing the Toclafane] My name is Arthur Coleman Winters, President Elect of the United States of America, and designated representative of the United Nations. I welcome you to the planet Earth and its associated moon.
Male Toclafane: You're not the Master!
Female Toclafane: We like the Mister Master.
Male Toclafane #2: We don't like you!
U.S. President: [uneasily] I can... be Master, if you so wish. I will accept mastery over you, if that is God's will--
Male Toclafane: Man is stupid. Master is our friend.
Female Toclafane: Where's my Master? Pretty please?
The Master: Oh, all right then, it's me! Ta-da! [laughs] Sorry sorry, I have this effect, people just get obsessed. Is it the smile? Is it the aftershave? Is it the capacity to laugh at myself? I dunno, it's crazy!
U.S. President: Saxon, what are you talking about?
The Master: I'm taking control, Uncle Sam. Starting with you. Kill him!
[The Toclafane vaporise the President]
The Master: NOW THEN! People of the Earth, please attend carefully! STOP HIM! [The Doctor rushes forward and is grabbed by two guards] We meet at last, Doctor! [laughs] I love saying that!
The Doctor: Stop this! Stop it NOW!
The Master: As if the perception filter is going to work on me. [he spots Martha and Jack] And look, it's the girlie and the freak! Although I'm not sure which is which. [Jack runs at him and is shot down] Laser screwdriver! Who'd have sonic? And the good thing is, he's not dead for long. [delighted] I GET TO KILL HIM AGAIN!
The Doctor: Master, just calm down. Just look at what you're doing, just stop! If you could see yourself--
The Master: [At the press] Oh, do excuse me, little bit of personal business. Back in a minute. [To the guards] Let him go.
[The Doctor is flung to the floor]
The Doctor: The drumming... that sound in your head. What if I could help?
The Master: [disdainfully] Oh, how to shut him up?! Oh, I know! Memory Lane! Professor Lazarus, remember him? And his genetic manipulation device? What, did you think that little Tish got that job merely by coincidence? I've been laying traps for you all this time... and if I can concentrate all that Lazarus technology into one little screwdriver... But... [feigning disappointment] Ohh, if only I had the Doctor's biological code... [triumphant] Oh, wait a minute, I do! I've got his hand! And if Lazarus made himself younger... what if I reverse it? Another... hundred years? [the Master turns his laser screwdriver on the Doctor, smiling with evil delight as the Doctor screams in agony]
The Master: [taunting Martha Jones] Ah.. the would-be doctor... [with all the manner of a gameshow host] But tonight, Martha Jones, we've flown them in! All the way from prison! [He gestures to the door where Martha's family are being forced into the room by guards.]
The Doctor: The Toclafane... what are they? [The Master bends closer and mimes that he can't hear him] Who are they?
The Master: Doctor, if I told you the truth...[puts his hand on the Doctor's hearts] your hearts would break.
Male Toclafane: Is it time? Is it ready?
Female Toclafane: Is the machine singing?
The Master: [glancing at his watch] Two minutes past. [charges back into full view of the cameras] So, Earthlings! Basically, um... end of the world! [holding up the laser screwdriver] HERE... COME... THE DRUMS!
[The song "Voodoo Child" by Rogue Traders is heard as the Master activates the Paradox Machine]
The Master: [About the Toclafane, as they emerge onto Earth, thanks to the Paradox Machine] How many, do you think?
Lucy Saxon: I..ah, I don't know..
The Master: Six billion. Down you go, kids!
The Master: [to Lucy] Shall we decimate them? That sounds good. Nice word, "decimate". [to the Toclafane] Remove one tenth of the population!
The Master: So it came to pass, that the human race fell... and the Earth was no more. And I looked down upon my new dominion, as Master of all. And I thought it... good.

"Last of the Time Lords"

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The Master: Citizens, rejoice! Your Lord and Master stands on high... playing Track 3!
[Cut to him dancing around the Valiant, as "I Can't Decide" by the Scissor Sisters plays]
The Master: Ever since I was a child... I looked into the Vortex and that's when it chose me. The Drumming. The Call. To War.
The Master: You should have seen it, Doctor! Furnaces burning. The last of humanity screaming at the dark.
[The Master has cannibalized the Doctor's TARDIS, turning it into a Paradox Machine that allows the Toclafane to travel back in time and kill their human ancestors]
The Master: My masterpiece, Doctor. A living TARDIS, strong enough to hold the paradox in place, allowing the past and the future to collide in infinite majesty!
The Doctor: But you're changing history. Not just Earth, the entire universe!
The Master: I'm a Time Lord. I have that right.
The Doctor: But even then, why come all this way, just to destroy?!
Toclafane: We come backwards in time, all to build a brand new empire, lasting 100 trillion years!
The Master: With me as their Master. Time Lord and humans combined; hadn't you always dreamt of that, Doctor?
The Master: [contemptuous] The human race. Greatest monsters of them all.
The Master: Now it ends, Doctor! NOW, IT ENDS!
The Doctor: We've got control of the Valiant; you can't launch!
The Master: Oh, but I've got this! [the Master pulls out a small device] Black hole convertor inside every ship. If I can't have this world, Doctor, then neither can you! We shall stand upon this earth, together, as it burns!
The Doctor: Weapon after weapon after weapon. All you do is talk and talk and talk. But over all these years... and all these disasters, I've always had the greatest secret of them all. I know you. Explode those ships, you kill yourself... and that's the one thing you can never do. Give that to me. [the Master, rather hesitant, hands over the self-destruct controller to the Doctor]
[Just after Lucy Saxon shoots the Master)
The Master: Always the women.
The Doctor: I didn't see her.
The Master: [gasping] Dying in your arms. Happy now?
The Doctor: You're not dying, don't be stupid. It's only a bullet, just regenerate.
The Master: No.
The Doctor: One little bullet, come on--
The Master: I guess you don't know me so well, I refuse.
The Doctor: [begging] Regenerate, just regenerate! Please, please! Just regenerate! Come on--
The Master: And spend... the rest of my life, imprisoned, with you?
The Doctor: But you've got to! Come on. It can't end like this. You and me, all the things we've done? Axons! Remember the Axons? And the Daleks? We're the only two left. There's no one else.... REGENERATE!
The Master: Heh... how about that? [grins] I win. Will it stop, Doctor? The drumming. Will it stop?
[Flashbacks of the Master looking through the Vortex, and the Master dies; the Doctor clutches his body, sobbing and yelling with grief]

The End of Time

edit
[Lucy Saxon has been removed from her prison cell, by the guards, all but one of whom are part of a cult dedicated to resurrecting the Master, and brought to a courtyard. The Governor, a woman dressed all in black civvy clothes, stands opposite a plinth in the centre of the room.]
Governor: Mrs Saxon, let me introduce myself. I'm your new Governor. I'm afraid the previous governor met with something of an accident. [smiling evilly] Which took quite some time to arrange. [turns to the older woman dressed in warden uniform next to her] Miss Trefusis, if you will prepare. [Miss Trefusis nods at somebody the audience can't see, then moves away to do something; to Lucy] You kept your silence well, Mrs Saxon. [Miss Trefusis places a clay bowl on the plinth and marches away] Your trial was held in secret, with no jury. So! No one knows who Harold Saxon was. Where he came from. Why you killed him. [to the guard behind Lucy, the one who is secretly on her side, though the audience doesn't yet know this] Make her kneel. [the guard presses on Lucy's right shoulder, forcing her to her knees; to Lucy] There are those of us, who never lost faith. And in his wisdom, Harold Saxon prepared for this moment. [as Miss Trefusis walks forward, purposefully] He knew that he might die. And he made us ready. Tonight, Mrs Saxon...[whispering evilly] he returns!
[Miss Trefusis holds her hand out. In it is the ring the Master wore, bearing the symbol of Professor Richard Lazarus's company. Lucy gasps in fear and horror.]
[Miss Trefusis puts the ring in the bowl.]
Governor: [as Miss Trefusis walks away] As it was written, in the Secret Books of Saxon [a guard, unseen by the audience, pours the contents of a clay vessel into the bowl. The contents are a thick, paint-like liquid; its colour is electric- or gas-flame-blue] these are the Potions of Life. [a guard, this one seen by the audience, empties a clay vessel, again with the same liquid, into the bowl]
Lucy Saxon: Listen to me! Whatever he told you, you've got no idea what you're doing---
Governor: [interrupting] Miss Trefusis, the catalyst. [Miss Trefusis walks over to Lucy]
Lucy Saxon: [knowing what is happening] What are you doing? Leave me alone! [screams as Miss Trefusis puts her left arm round Lucy's head, and wipes her left cheek with a tissue in her right hand]
Governor: [while this is happening, enjoying what is happening] You were Saxon's wife! You bore his imprint! [Miss Trefusis is enjoying what she is doing] That's all we needed. [Miss Trefusis lets go of Lucy and leaves her side] The final, biometrical signature. [Miss Trefusis stands over the clay bowl, which is now bubbling and creating gas, with the tissue, now stained pink, in her hand and over the bowl.]
Lucy Saxon: [crying] You can't bring him back! You can't!
[Miss Trefusis drops the tissue into the bowl, and a great flash of white light emanates from it. The Governor steps back, startled, and the guards who are in the cult raise their arms. A lightning storm appears over the prison.]
Lucy Saxon: [hysterically] I'm begging you, stop this now before it's too late!
Governor: [with an ecstasy-like voice] We give ourselves that Saxon might live!
[The life energy of the cultists begins to drain from their bodies into the ritual. They all fall to their knees.]
Lucy Saxon: [hysterically; on her feet] Can't you see?! He lied to you! His name isn't even Harold Saxon!
Governor: [esctatically] And this was written also, for his name...is...THE MASTER!
[The Master is reborn in a swirl of energy. Only his upper half is seen, and he is naked.]
The Master: Never, never, never, never. Never dying. Never dying! Never dying, never dying, never dying! [laughs dementedly, then sees Lucy] Oh, Lucy! Sweet Lucy Saxon! My ever-faithful! Did the widow's kiss bring me back to life?
Lucy Saxon: [referring to the Master's cultists] YOU'RE KILLING THEM!
The Master: [coldly] Oh let them die, they're just the first! The whole stupid stinking human disgrace can fall into the pit! [clutches his temples] Can't you hear it, Lucy?! The noise, the drumbeat, louder than ever before! The drums, the never-ending drums - oh, I have missed them! [laughs dementedly again]
Lucy Saxon: [angrily] But no one knew you better than I did. I know you'd come back! And all this time, your disciples have prepared, but so have we! [The guard who is not in the cult gives Lucy a small glass bottle. The Master looks on apprehensively]
The Master: [annoyed] What are you doing?!
Lucy Saxon: [holding the bottle up] The Secret Books of Saxon spoke of the potions of life. And I was never that bright, but my family had contacts, people who were clever enough to calculate the opposite! [moves to take the cork out]
[Lucy uncorks the bottle. The Master's face contorts into a expression of horror]
The Master: Don't you dare! [as Lucy takes the cork out] I am ordering you, Lucy! YOU WILL OBEY ME!
Lucy Saxon: TILL DEATH DO US PART, HARRY!!!
The Master: NOOOOO!
[Lucy throws the contents of the bottle over the Master. He lets out a terrible scream of agony, as he, Lucy and the prison are consumed in a fiery blue explosion.]
The Master: [after devouring a whole burger in seconds] Want more. I want cheese and chips, and meat and gravy, and cream and beer, and pork and beef, and fat, great big chunks of hot, wet red!
Tommo: Good for you, mate. [to Ginger, scared] Maybe we'd better be going...
Ginger: You look like that bloke, Harold Saxon! The one who went mad!
The Master: [laughs insanely] Isn't that funny? Isn't that just the best thing of all?! The Master of Disguise, stuck looking like the old Prime Minister! I can't hide anywhere; he can see me. He can smell me. Can't let him smell me! [rubbing the burger's wrapper on his face] Doctor, Doctor, Doctor... Got to stop the smell, the stink, the filthy, filthy stink...!
Tommo: Ginger, come with me. Right now!
The Master: Because it's funny! Don't you see?! Look at me! I'm splitting my sides! I am hilarious! [A pulse of blue light exposes the Master's skeleton] I am the funniest thing [another pulse] in the whole wide world! [The Master's skeleton is exposed by another two pulses, as he laughes dementedly]
The Master: [in a drawn-out, overly excited scream] DINNERTIME!
The Master: I had estates. Do you remember my father's land back home? Pastures of red grass, stretching far across the slopes of Mount Perdition. We used to run across those fields all day, calling up at the sky. Look at us now.
The Doctor: All that eloquence. But how many people have you killed?
The Master: I am so hungry.
The Doctor: Your resurrection went wrong. That energy. Your body's ripped open. Now you're killing yourself.
The Master: That human Christmas out there. They eat so much. All that roasting meat, cakes and red wine. Hot, fat, blood, food. Pots, plates of meat, and flesh, and grease, and juice, and baking, burnt, sticky hot skin. Hot. It's so hot.
The Doctor: Stop it.
The Master: Sliced. Sliced. Sliced.
The Doctor: Stop it.
The Master: It's mine. It's mine. It's mine to eat and eat and eat!
The Doctor: Stop it! What if I ask you for help? There's more at work tonight than you and me.
The Master: Oh yeah?
The Doctor: I've been told something is returning.
The Master: And here I am.
The Doctor: No, something more.
The Master: But it hurts...
The Doctor: I was told, 'The end of time'-
The Master: It hurts, Doctor. The noise. The noise in my head, Doctor. [increasingly fast] One two three four, one two three four, one-two-three-four! Stronger then ever before. [looks pleadingly at the Doctor] Can't you hear it?
The Doctor: I'm sorry.
The Master: Listen, listen, listen, listen. Every minute, every second... every beat of my hearts. There it is. Calling to me. Please listen.
The Doctor: I can't hear it.
The Master: [Moves closer] Listen! [holds the Doctor's head using the Time Lord 'mind-meld', the Doctor hears the 'drumming' and shifts back in shock] What?
The Doctor: [puzzled and shocked] What?
The Master: [demandingly] What?!
The Doctor: I heard it. But there's no noise, there never has been, it's just your insanity... It's... [horrified] What is it? What's inside your head?
The Master: [laughs in insane relief] It's real... [more confidently] It's real! IT'S REAL!!! [flies off, and the Doctor chases after him] All these years, you thought I was mad. King of the Wasteland! But something is calling me, Doctor, what is it?! WHAT IS IT?!
The Master: My name... is The Master.
The Doctor: Whatever you do, just don't let him near that device!
The Master: [sarcastically] Oh, like that was ever gonna happen! [breaks his bonds and with a roar of triumph, leaps into the Immortality Gate] Homeless, was I?! Destitute and dying?! WELL LOOK AT ME NOW!
The Doctor: [desperately pounding at the Immortality Gate's controls] I can't turn it off!
The Master: That's because I locked it, idiot!
The Master: 50 seconds, and counting!
The Doctor: To what?!
The Master: [gleefully] Oho, you're gonna love this!
[In the control room below]
Rossiter: [horrified] He was hiding the codes! He's extrapolated the Gate's power a million times over!
Addams: But it's not affecting us!
Rossiter: He's set the template to human! [they exchange a look of horror]
The Doctor: What is it?! Hypnotism? Mind control? You're grafting your thoughts inside them, is that it?!
The Master: Oh, that's way too easy! No, no, no, they're not gonna think like me... they're gonna become me! AND...ZERO!
[A pulse of blue energy emits out of the Immortality Gate and spreads across the Earth. The Master laughes dementedly]
The Master: Now then, I've got a planet to run.
The Master: Hush, now. Listen to your Master.
The Master: [after learning of Donna's Time Lord Meta-crisis; snidely] Oh, he does love playing with Earth girls!
The Master: Tell me, where's your TARDIS?
The Doctor: You could be so wonderful.
The Master: Where is it?
The Doctor: You're a genius. You're stone-cold brilliant, you are. I swear, you really are, but you could be so much more. You could be beautiful. With a mind like that--we could travel the stars. It would be my honor. 'Cause you don't need to own the universe, just see it. Have the privilege of seeing the whole of time and space, that's ownership enough.
The Master: [somewhat teary-eyed] Would it stop then? The noise in my head?
The Doctor: I can help.
The Master: I don't know what I'd be without that noise.
The Doctor: Wonder what I'd be, without you.
The Master: [smiles slightly] Yeah.
Wilfred: What does he mean, what noise?
The Master: It began on Gallifrey, as children. [a flashback of the Master as a child is seen] Not that you'd call it childhood; more a life of duty. Eight years old, I was taken for initiation, to stare into the heart of the Untempered Schism.
Wilfred: What does that mean?
The Doctor: It's a gap in the fabric of reality; you can see into the Time Vortex itself...and it hurts. [a flashback of the Master staring into the Time Vortex as a child is shown]
The Master: They took me there, into the dark. I looked into Time, old man. [mournfully] And I heard it, calling to me...Drums. The never-ending drums...
[As the Master laughs dementedly, another pulse of light exposes his skeleton. As more follow, the Master collapses to his knees, shaking his head]
The Doctor: The Gate wasn't enough! You're still dying!
The Master: This body was born out of death; all it can do is die.
The Master: Where's the TARDIS?!
The Doctor: No, just stop, just think!
The Master: [gesturing at Wilfred] Kill him! [the Master and a soldier advance on Wilfred] I need that technology, Doctor! Tell me where it is or the old man is dead!
Wilfred: Don't tell him!
The Master: I'LL KILL HIM RIGHT NOW!
The Doctor: Actually, the most impressive thing about you is that after all this time, you're still bone-dead stupid.
[The Master rolls his head and gives the Doctor a look of outraged astonishment, then turns back to the guard]
The Master: Take aim!
The Doctor: You've got six billion pairs of eyes, but you still can't see the obvious, can you?
The Master: Like what?!
The Doctor: That guard...is one inch too tall.
[Caught offguard, the Master faces the guard, who hits him in the face with the butt of his rifle. Utterly amazed, the Master collapses unconscious]
The Master: [as a UNIT general] He's heading straight for you!
The Master: But too late! They are coming!
[on Gallifrey, Rassilon and his inner circle stand]
Rassilon: The vote is taken. Only two stand against, and will stand as monument to their shame, like the Weeping Angels of old. Now the vanguard stands prepared, as the children of Gallifrey return to the Universe...TO EARTH!
[There is a blinding flash of white light. On Earth, the Master laughes with delight as the Immortality Gate glows. Onboard the Vinvocci ship, the Doctor increases the speed]
The Doctor: DESTINATION?!
Addams: 50 klicks and closing! We've locked onto the house! We are gonna stop though!? [the Doctor remains silent] Doctor! We are gonna stop?!
[At the Mansion, the Master laughs and spreads his arm in welcome as the glow becomes brighter. Through the light, the silhouettes of Rassilon and the Time Lords can be seen]
The Master: [ecstatic] Closer! AND CLOSER! And closer!
[Onboard the ship, Wilf and Rossiter run to the bridge]
Wilf: Doctor! Doctor! You said you were going to die!
Addams: He said what?!
Wilf: But is that all of us? I won't stop you sir, but is this it?!
[The ship plummets on a collision course to the mansion. Inside, the Time Lords have all but materialised. As the Master watches, one of his clones sees the danger]
The Master: [as Joshuah Naismith] I think I should warn you...!
The Master: NOT NOW!
[As the ship is about to collide, the Doctor changes his mind and breaks off course]
Time Lord President Rassilon: It is a fitting paradox that our salvation comes at the hands of our most infamous child.
The Doctor: He's not saving you! Don't you realise what he's doing?!
The Master: Hey, no, that's mine! Hush! Look around you: I've transplanted myself into every single human being. But who wants a mongrel little species like them? Because now I can transplant myself into every single Time Lord! Oh yes, Mr President, sir! Standing there all noble and resplendent... and decrepit. Think how much better you're gonna look, as me!
The Master: Get out of the way. [hurls lightning at the President] YOU DID THIS TO ME! ALL OF MY LIFE! YOU MADE ME! ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!

Twelfth Doctor

edit

"Deep Breath" [34.01]

edit
"Missy"/The Master: [to the Half-Face Man] Hello. I'm Missy. You made it. I hope my boyfriend wasn't too mean to you.
Half-Face Man: Boy friend?
"Missy"/The Master: Now, did he push you out of that thing, or did you fall? Couldn't really tell. He can be very mean sometimes. Except to me, of course, because he loves me so much. I do like his new accent, though. Think I might keep it.
Half-Face Man: Where am I?
"Missy"/The Master: Where do you think you are? Look around you. You made it! The Promised Land. Paradise. Welcome to Heaven!

"Into the Dalek" [34.02]

edit
"Missy"/The Master: [to Gretchen] Hello. I'm Missy. Welcome to Heaven. Would you like some tea? Little splosh? Lovely.

"Flatline" [34.09]

edit
"Missy"/The Master: [watching Clara from a tablet] Clara. My Clara. I have chosen well. [laughs]

"Dark Water" [34.11]

edit
"Missy"/The Master: I'm in no hurry, I've got all day. And I'm not going to kill you until you say..something...nice.
[She smirks at Dr Chang]
"Missy"/The Master: [about the Nethersphere] Imagine you could upload dying minds to that, edit them, rearrange them, get rid of all those boring emotions, ready to be re-downloaded. Meanwhile, you upgrade the bodies. Upload the mind, upgrade the body. Cybermen from cyberspace - Now why has no-one ever thought about that before?
The Doctor: How did you get ahold of Time Lord technology? Who are you?
"Missy"/The Master: You know who I am. You felt it. [places her hand on her heart and mockingly gasps] Surely you did?
The Doctor: [realises] Two hearts...
"Missy"/The Master: And both of them yours.
The Doctor: You're a Time Lord.
"Missy"/The Master: Time Lady, please. I'm old-fashioned.
The Doctor: Which Time Lady?
"Missy"/The Master: The one you abandoned, Doctor. The one you left for dead. Didn't you ever think I'd find my way back?
The Doctor: [horrified] Clara, Clara, Clara, I've got to find Clara!
"Missy"/The Master: [mockingly] Oh, "Clara, Clara, Clara"! You know, I should shoot you in a jealous rage. Now wouldn't that be sexy? I've turned the lift off, though.
The Doctor: I presume you have stairs.
"Missy"/The Master: Oh, please, I'm not a Dalek. [The Doctor runs outside and scans the scene in shock] Oh dear, Doctor. Didn't you realise where you were?
[The camera zooms out to reveal him standing on the steps of St Paul's Cathedral.]
"Missy"/The Master: You know the key strategic weakness of the human race? The dead outnumber the living.
The Doctor: ...Who are you?
"Missy"/The Master: Oh, you know who I am. I'm Missy.
The Doctor: Who's Missy?
"Missy"/The Master: [groans in irritation] Please, try to keep up. Short for "Mistress". [smirks] Well, couldn't very well keep calling myself "The Master", now could I?
[The Doctor stares at her, horrified]

"Death in Heaven" [34.12]

edit
"Missy"/The Master: [holding Osgood by the throat] Say something nice.
Osgood: "Missy", "the Master", whatever you call yourself, I promise, I'm much more useful to you alive.
"Missy"/The Master: Oh yeah, that's true, that's definitely true, that is a good point well made. I'm proud of you, sister, but did I mention... bananas? Pop! [vaporizes Osgood] Ah! Thanks for being yummy.
[Missy has just given the Cyber control bracelet to the Doctor, effectively giving him a Cyberman army.]
The Doctor: All of this, all of it just to give me an army?
"Missy"/The Master: Well, I don't need one, do I? Armies are for people who think they're right. Nobody thinks they're righter than you.
[The Doctor tries to take the bracelet off. Missy stops him.]
"Missy"/The Master: Give a good man firepower, and he'll never run out of people to kill.
The Doctor: I don't want an army!
"Missy"/The Master: Well, that's the trouble. Yes, you do!! You've always wanted one! All those people suffering in the Dalek camps? Now you can save them. All those bad guys winning all the wars? Go and get the good guys back.
The Doctor: Nobody can have that power.
"Missy"/The Master: You will, because you don't have a choice. There's only one way you can stop these clouds from opening up and killing all your little pets down here. Conquer the universe, Mr. President. Show a bad girl how it's done. [kneels before the Doctor.]
The Doctor: [removing the bracelet] Why are you doing this?
"Missy"/The Master: I need you to know we're not so different. [gentler] I need my friend back. Every battle, every war, every invasion, from now on, you decide the outcome. What's the matter, Mr. President? Don't you trust yourself?
"Missy"/The Master: [preparing to be shot by the Doctor] Say something nice... Please?
The Doctor: [pauses, shrugs] You win.
"Missy"/The Master: I know.

"The Magician's Apprentice" [35.01]

edit
Missy: Okay, cutting to the chase. Not dead. Back. Big surprise. Never mind.
Clara: Since when do you care about the Doctor?
Missy: Since always. Since the Cloister Wars. Since the night he stole the moon and the President's wife. Since he was a little girl. One of those was a lie, can you guess which one?
Clara: He's not your friend. You keep trying to kill him.
Missy: He keeps trying to kill me. Sort of our texting. Been at it for ages.
Clara: Mmm, must be love.
Missy: [appalled] Oh, don't be disgusting. We're Time Lords, not animals. Try, Nano-brain, to rise above the reproductive frenzy of your noisy little food chain and contemplate friendship. Friendship older than your civilization, and infinitely more complex.
[The Doctor plays the riff to 'Mickey' as Missy struts into the arena]
Missy: What the hell are you up to, man?
The Doctor: [to the crowd] It's the Wicked Stepmother! Everyone... hiss!
[The Doctor plays a riff. Missy mugs for the crowd as it boos and hisses]
The Doctor: [to Colony Sarff] Davros is my arch-enemy. Why would I want to talk to him.
Missy: No, wait, hang on a minute. Davros is your arch-enemy now?
The Doctor: Hush.
Missy: I'll scratch his eye out.
Clara: How can you and the Doctor be friends?
Missy: Why shouldn't we be?
Clara: You spend all of your time fighting.
Missy: Exactly.

"The Witch's Familiar" [35.02]

edit
Missy: Consider the Doctor. The Doctor trapped. The Doctor alone... OK, I'm going to tell you a story of the Doctor. It's classic. On the run. No TARDIS. No friends. No help. In other words,... the Doctor happy.
Clara: Why are you sharpening that stick?
Missy: Well, I've no idea how long we're going to be stuck out here, so... Might have to go hunting!
Clara: So, why'm I tied up?
Missy: In case there's nothing to hunt.
Missy: Why does the Doctor always survive?
Clara: Because he's clever!
Missy: Yes, but there's loads of clever dead people! I love killing clever clogs, they make the best faces!
Missy: He's trapped at the heart of the Dalek empire. He's a prisoner of the creatures who hate him most in the universe. Between us and him is everything the deadliest race in all of history can throw at us. We, on the other hand, have a pointy stick. How do we start?
Clara: We assume we're going to win.
Missy: Oh, pity! I was actually quite peckish!
Missy: We need to trap and kill a Dalek. You're the bait, I'm the hook.
[She removes a brooch from her collar.]
Missy: Dark star alloy. Goes through armor plating like a knife through people.
Clara: Missy! Missy. Missy, uncuff me now!
Missy: It's pretty though, isn't it? Got it in the olden days on Gallifrey. The Doctor gave it to me when my daughter--
Missy: Hey, you [Dalek]! Guess what? I just put a hole in you! And another! And another! And another!
Clara: What are you doing?!
Missy: Murdering a Dalek. I'm a Time Lady; it's our golf!
Dalek: You are a Time Lord?!
Missy: Time Lady, thank you. Some of us can afford the upgrade. Is it still the same old Supreme Dalek these days? I fought him once, on the slopes of the Nether Vault. Tell him the bitch is back.
Missy: [to Davros] Can I say, it is an absolute pleasure to finally meet you.
[Missy curtsies and offers out her hand. She then immediately pokes Davros in his electronic eye, making him flinch.]
The Doctor: Missy... Run.
Missy: In a way, this is why I gave her (Clara) to you in the first place. To make you see. The friend inside the enemy. The enemy inside the friend. Everyone's a bit of both. Everyone's... a hybrid.
The Doctor: I said run !
Missy: [leaving, over her shoulder] It wasn't me who ran, Doctor. That was always you.
Missy: [surrounded by Daleks] You know what? I just had a very clever idea.

"Extremis" [36.06]

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Missy: [to the Doctor] Without hope. Without witness. Without reward... I am your friend.
Missy: Oi, go-- Get off! I've just been executed! Show a little respect.
Rfando: She's-- She's alive!
Missy: I was just a bit sleepy, alright? Now let's not split hairs. Shut up. Night-night.

"The Lie of the Land" [36.08]

edit
(3 June 2017)
[The Doctor has opened the vault to reveal its contents - Missy]
Bill: It's a woman! The way you and Nardole were carrying on, I thought you had a monster in here or something.
The Doctor: I do. Missy, Bill. Bill, Missy. The other last of the Time Lords.
Missy: (smiles) I’ve got some requests. I want new books. Some toys. Like a particle accelerator. A 3D printer. And a pony.
The Doctor: I don’t think you’ve grasped what’s going on here. Nice people don’t tend to haggle over the fate of a planet.
Missy: I once made a gun out of leaves. You think I couldn’t get through a door if I wanted?
Bill: It's me. The lynchpin is me.
Missy: [plays a dissonant chord, says in a sing-song:] Awkward...
[Missy has revealed her plan to stop the Monks -- turning Bill into a vegetable]
The Doctor: Even if that was the truth, the fact that you're suggesting it shows there's been no change. No hope, no point. We don't sacrifice because it's wrong. Because it's easy.
Missy: You know, back in the day, I burned an entire city to the ground just to see the pretty shapes the smoke made. I'm sorry your plus one doesn't get a happy ending. But like it or not, I just saved this world because I want to change. Your version of "good" is not absolute. It's vain and arrogant and sentimental. If you're waiting for me to become all that, I'm going to be here for a long time yet.
Missy: [tearfully] You remember all the people I've killed? Every day, I think of them all. Being bad... being bad. I didn't know I even knew their names. You didn't tell me about this bit.
The Doctor: I'm sorry, but this is good.
Missy: [trying to hold it together] Okay.

"World Enough and Time" [36.11]

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(24 June 2017)
[On the bridge of the colony ship, Missy is held at gunpoint by "Razor", a hospital employee]
Missy: Would it help you focus if I extracted some of your vital organs and made a lovely soup?
Razor: You would never be so... self-destructive.
Missy: So what?
Razor: But then again... neither would I. [tosses the gun aside]
Razor: I love disguises. Do you still like disguises? Of course, they are... rather necessary when you happen to be someone's former prime minister. [Missy is shocked as "Razor" removes the mask over his face, revealing himself to be her previous incarnation, the Master] Hello, Missy. I'm the Master. I'm very worried about my future. [smirking] Give us a kiss.
[Bill has been converted into a Mondasian Cyberman]
The Doctor: Bill? Bill, talk to me. What have they done to you?
Nardole: Operation Exodus... whatever that is.
Missy: [from behind them] Well, wrong name, for a start.
Cyberman Bill: I... waited.
Missy: [standing at one side of Bill] This is not an exodus, is it? More of a beginning, really, isn't it?
Cyberman Bill: I... waited.
The Master: In fact, d'you know what I'd call it? [the Doctor's expression becomes one of shock as the Master enters, standing on the other side of Bill from Missy] I'd call it a genesis.
Missy: You've met the ex.
The Master: Specifically... the genesis of the Cybermen.
Cyberman Bill: [pointing at the Doctor] I... waited... for you. [a single tear runs from Bill's left eye and through her cybermask]

"The Doctor Falls" [36.12]

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(30 June 2017)
[The Master and Missy are circling a captive Doctor.]
The Master: How many times have you died?
Missy: How many different ways?
The Master: Have you burned?
Missy: I know you've fallen.
The Master: Have you ever drowned?
Missy: Have you felt the blade?
The Master: I suppose... what we're really asking, my dear, is... Well,... [looks to Missy]
Missy: Any requests?
[In the solar farm on level 507, while the Doctor comforts Cyberman Bill, the Master walks up]
The Master: Doctor. Right! While you've been here chatting up Robo-Mop, me and... me have been busy. We've found it. [to Bill, in "Razor's" voice] Oh, hello, my dear. My God, you were so boring for all those years. [chuckles, returns to his normal voice] But it was worth every day of it. For this.
The Doctor: Bill, don't let him upset you.
The Master: Though, didn't you used to be a woman? I'm gonna be a woman, fairly soon. Any tips? Or maybe... I don't know, old bras?
Cyberman Bill: I am not upset.
The Master: [disappointed] Oh. Well, doesn't that take all the fun out of cruelty? Might as well rile a fridge. Come on, this way.
[The Master explaining what happened to his TARDIS, trapped in the lower levels of the ship]
The Master: I landed here. I had trouble taking off.
Missy: The black hole?
The Master: Too close to the event horizon.
Missy: And you screwed up. You went too fast.
The Master: I blew the dematerialization circuit.
Missy: Which reminds me, a funny thing happened to me once.
The Master: What?
Missy: [grabs the Master by the lapels and slams him against the wall] A very long time ago, a very scary lady threw me against a wall and made me promise to always, always carry a spare dematerialization circuit. I don't remember much about her now, but... she must have made quite an impression. [produces a spare dematerialization circuit]
The Master: You know, you basically have me to thank for this.
Missy: You're welcome.
The Master: By the way, is it wrong that I... [glances down toward his crotch; Missy follows his gaze]
Missy: Yes. Very.
[The Doctor has just made an impassioned plea for both the Master and Missy to stand with him to help defend a human farming community from Cybermen.]
The Master: See this face. Take a good, long look at it. This is the face that didn't listen to a word you just said. [grins, then leaves]
[Near the escape lift - Missy bidding "herself" farewell, embracing the Master]
Missy: I loved being you. Every second of it. Oh, the way you burned like a sun, like a whole screaming world on fire. I remember that feeling, and I always will... and I will always miss it.
The Master: [staggering back slightly] Now that... was really... very nicely done.
Missy: Thank you.
[The Master touches his side and sees he is bleeding, as Missy reveals a hidden knife.]
The Master: It's good to know I haven't lost my touch.
Missy: You deserve my best.
The Master: How long do I have?
Missy: Oh, I was precise. You'll be able to make it back to your TARDIS, maybe even get a cuppa. Although, you might leak a little.
The Master: And then, regenerate... into you.
Missy: Welcome to the Sisterhood.
The Master: Missy, seriously... why?
Missy: Oh... because he's right. Because it's time to stand with him. It's where we've always been going, and it's happening, now, today. It's time to stand with the Doctor. [turns and begins walking away]
The Master: [seething] No. Never. [Missy walks away from him] MISSY! I will never stand with the Doctor!
Missy: Oh, yes, my dear, you will.
[The Master shoots Missy with his laser screwdriver.]
The Master: Don't bother trying to regenerate. You got the full blast. [both start laughing] You see, Missy, this is where we've always been going. This is our perfect ending. We shoot ourselves in the back.
[The Master staggers into the lift and descends, laughing the whole way down, while Missy dies on the surface]

Thirteenth Doctor

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"Spyfall (Part 1)" [38.01]

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[Aboard Daniel Barton's private jet]
The Doctor: Never been good at sprinting?
O: I was the last one in every race at school.
The Doctor: No no no, I read your file. You were a champion sprinter.
O: [thinks for a moment... then smiles] Got me. Well done.
Graham: What's going on, Doc?
The Doctor: I don't know.
O: You'd best take a look out the window.
[They do so, seeing O's house flying next to them]
Graham: How is your house out there?
O: It's all a bit Wicked Witch of the West, but you get the gist. Maybe. Maybe not. Oh come on, Doctor, catch up. You can do it.
The Doctor: [shocked] Ohhh...
O: [laughs gleefully] That's my name, and that is why I chose it. So satisfying! Doctor, I did say, "Look for the spymaster". Or should I say, spy... Master? [gives a little wave] Hi.
The Doctor: [horrified] You can't be.
The Master: Oh, I can be. I very much am.

"Spyfall (Part 2)" [38.02]

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The Master: When I arrange for your death, I expect you to stay dead. How did you escape? How did you end up here?
The Doctor: [realizing] Ah... you don't know. You're not in control of those creatures. I bet you don't even know what they are.
The Master: They're called the Kasaavin, and we have interests in common.
The Doctor: You, Barton, and a race you barely know. That's one uneasy alliance. Trust each other, do ya?
The Master: Oh, completely. By the way, I bring news from home.
Ada: Down, Doctor! [uses the steam machine gun to fire at the Master]
Inventor: This is not designed for use by a young lady!
Ada: Nothing is! And yet, I find myself more than capable! [fires off several more shots, hitting the Master in the arm] All of you, out!
The Doctor: Ada, I really do not approve!
The Master: Run all you like, Doctor! You won't get far without a TARDIS!
The Doctor: Don't have a TARDIS. [Ada pulls the pin on a grenade and hurls it at the Master, forcing him to dodge] Do have an Ada.
The Master: So, how are you holding up? Without your TARDIS, your friends or hope... A fugitive in time.
[The Doctor and the Master have agreed to meet at the top of the Eiffel Tower.]
The Doctor: It's cold up here... It's worse than Jodrell Bank!
The Master: Did I ever apologize for that?
The Doctor: No.
The Master: Good.
[The Doctor returns to Gallifrey, only to find it burning; as she sits in despair in her TARDIS, she receives a message...]
The Master: If you're seeing this, you've been to Gallifrey. When I said "someone" did that, obviously I meant... I did. I had to make them pay for what I discovered. They lied to us. The founding fathers of Gallifrey... everything we were told was a lie. We're not who we think. You or I, the whole existence of our species, built on the lie of the Timeless Child.
[The Doctor winces in pain as she experiences strange flashbacks]
The Master: Do you see it? It's buried deep in all our memories, in our identity. [sighs] I'd tell you more, but... [bitterly] But why would I make it easy for you? It wasn't for me.

"The Power of the Doctor" [39.09]

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The Master: I'm going to make "the Doctor" a byword for fear, pain and destruction, so when people hear that name in future, they quake in fear!
The Master: Oh, lovely... gold star and a sticker. That's how you stop two sides warring, Yaz. Destroy them both.
The Master: I have a message for your remaining news viewers: I am the Doctor, and I caused this.
Yasmin Khan: I'm sorry.
The Master: Are you? Truly?
Yasmin Khan: Came back, didn't I?
The Master: We could have fun, y'know? I am fun. Different type of fun, but fun. We could travel. You'll see.
The Master: I erased you, Doctor... Don't let me go back to being me.

Big Finish audio plays

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Dark Eyes 3

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The Doctor: How should we pass the time? I know! Tell me about your mother...
The Reborn Master: Oh, you've tried psychoanalyzing me before, Doctor, why bother? How can you fathom the unfathomable?
The Doctor: On the contrary. You're actually pretty transparent. You're a spoiled child; you have to get what you want, or everyone suffers. Trouble is, you don't know what you want, beyond killing me. What is is you're master of, precisely?
The Reborn Master: The title you chose -- "Doctor". Now, it's not just a man of healing, it means "teaching", it means "tutor", whereas I am a master. We both want to change the universe to make it better, it's only the scale of our ambition that separates us.
The Doctor: What are you saying? You'd like to have been a doctor, but you didn't have the patience?
[The Reborn Master laughs sardonically.]
The Reborn Master: Oh, how have I resisted killing you until now?
The Doctor: You tell me. You'd rather see me humiliated. Actually, the simple answer is, you don't want to. You need me around to give you the attention you so desperately crave. Ever since we were at the Academy together, all those centuries ago...
The Reborn Master: Oh, I never think of the past! The future is my sole concern. I thought you were the same, never looking back, only in your case it's because you're afraid to face the death and destruction you leave in your wake!
The Doctor: Whereas you delight in it.

Dark Eyes 4

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Master of the Daleks

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Liv Chenka: Oh, I was wondering when you'd show up. Couldn't resist stopping by for a gloat, eh?
The Reborn Master: Don't be so cheeky! If one can't enjoy a good gloat from time to time, where's the fun in victory?
Liv Chenka: Aren't we the monument to hubris?
The Reborn Master: It isn't hubris if it's accurate, Doctor Chenka! It's simply a statement of fact.
Liv Chenka: Allying yourself with the Daleks? Funny, I almost thought better of you!
The Reborn Master: Ooh, come now, don't be critical! One can only get so much done on one's own. From time to time, you do need an army.
Liv Chenka: And you opted for those things?
The Reborn Master: Well, why have the rest when you can have the best?
The Reborn Master: [sarcastic] What? The Daleks, betray me? Heaven forfend, I had no idea, I'm shocked! I tell you, I'm shocked! This is so frightening... The most evil beings in the cosmos, planning to kill me? Oh, well, you can't trust anyone these days.
Liv Chenka: I should've known. You're up to something.
The Master: Yes. I invariably am.

Ravenous 4: Day of the Master

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Artron: I hate to interrupt, but can one of you explain what's going on?
The Bruce Master: Doctor, be my guest.
The Eighth Doctor: Artron, that man there is one of the worst criminals Gallifrey has ever produced.
The Bruce Master: Oo-hoo-hoo, flatterer!
The Eighth Doctor: What? But that's monstrous!
The Bruce Master: Yeah. You do remember who you're talking to?

Master!

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Vengeance

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Dalek Time Controller: You survived a Deathworm Morphant, I know this now.
The Bruce Master: You should've known then. Your security back home was sloppy -- you got complacent. Arrogant. That's Daleks all over.
The Bruce Master: I'll let you be my allies. But you have to beg.
[Laser sounds. The Dalek Supreme screams in pain.]
The Bruce Master: Beg. Call me your Master.
Dalek Time Controller: What are you doing to the Dalek Supreme?!
The Bruce Master: Giving it a lesson in power.

The War Master: The Heavenly Paradigm

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Time Lord Agent: I'm pointing a stazer at your hearts. It is set to maximum. There will be no regeneration for you when I pull the trigger. And what do you have? A cup of tea!
The War Master: Yes... Are you scared yet?

War Master: The Last Line

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The War Master: You recognize me? The current me?
The Doctor: Yes, we had a... brief encounter, a while back. You moved on quickly.
The War Master: Oh, you sound almost disappointed!
The Doctor: That's the unique thing about regeneration, one man, many faces. I mean, I'm no expert on physiognomy, but your face has taught me a thing or two about judging books and covers.
The War Master: I want to live, Doctor, and you've always seen a reason for life, always. However dreadful, however irredeemable a thing is, even the Daleks! You always find its reason to survive.
The Doctor: Do you really believe I have an inexhaustible supply of hope for you to squander?!
The War Master: Ah, but that's the irritating thing about hope, isn't it, Doctor? And that's why I need you with me out there in the courts! We've always been two sides of the same coin. And can you really imagine a universe without me? Could you live with yourself?
The Tenth Doctor: If there's anything I've learned from my dealings with the Master, it's that even a death sentence is no guarantee of stopping him! You've got him contained, well done. Now. Make it your job to keep it that way.
The War Master: I take it you tried to warn them?
The Doctor: About what?
The War Master: Me.
The Doctor: Get away from those controls, haven't you done enough damage?!
The War Master: I'm an excellent multitasker, Doctor, as you've already seen. I can shoot and program coordinates simultaneously, but for your sake, I'd rather not prove it.
The War Master: I've never been one for self-sacrifices, noble or otherwise!

The War Master: Only the Good

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Marigold Lane Computer: The Cruciform.
The War Master: Cr-- What?! What did you say?!
Marigold Lane Computer: Thanks to the effects of the Paradigm, the Dalek Emperor has taken control of it.
The War Master: The Cruciform! What have I done?! Enough! It's lost! It's all lost!
The War Master: With the power now in the hands of the Daleks, the war, that terrible, terrible war, had finally become something I could no longer countenance coexisting with. There is a time to fight and a time to run. To run as fast as and as far as you can go. To the very edge of the universe, the very edge of time. A place where, perhaps, I -- or, rather, the invisible person I would become -- might be safe.
The War Master: Things die; it's just what they do. Every minute of every day on every world, every galaxy, something dies. Crying over it is spitting into the wind. Death is natural, yes. But there comes a time in the history of all civilizations, worlds great and small, when something -- some event, some disease, some war -- tips the balance of things. When even nature must look at the numbers and nervously catch its breath. And on those occasions? Well... it's time to make plans. A time... for change.
The War Master: Hush now, hush! No crying. No tears. You have nothing to be afraid of. This isn't the end... let it be the beginning. When the war ends, when the fighting stops... whatever is left-- whoever is left... they will need you. They always do. After all, a universe without a Master scarcely bears thinking about.

Gallifrey: Time War

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Leela: This place... There is the scent of death about it.
The War Master: Such is the price of war -- now if you would kindly shut up a moment?
Leela: This new body you have... I do not like it.
The War Master: Well, for what it's worth, I was never particularly enamored with yours.
Leela: But you are... different now. Before, when I knew you long ago, when you were... injured, you did not seem to hide yourself away. You were raw and you were honest. You did not disguise your hate. But now... Now, you seem almost--
The War Master: Civilized? Pleasant? Reasonable?
Leela: Oh, no, no, no. No, you could never be that. But you have focus now.
Leela: You are plotting, even now...
The War Master: Perhaps I am.
Leela: But why confess it? You know me of old, and yet that does not worry you.
The War Master: Should it?
Leela: Yes!
The War Master: Then I look forward to being proved wrong.

The Eighth Doctor: Ravenous 4

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[Missy is talking to the Bruce Master.]
Missy: Well, howdy, stud. I'd forgotten about you. Goodness! How did I ever get anything done when I had a face like that? Sorry...
The Bruce Master: Excuse me?
Missy: Oh, why bother with evil plans? I should have just stood around looking at myself in a mirror all day! [She laughs.]
The War Master: E-- Eh, moving on--
Missy: Although, to be fair, I do that now anyway; I am gorgeous!
Missy: To think I wandered around looking like that! Honestly, you'd think I never heard of moisturizer.
The Bruce Master: Are we really doing this? I mean, doesn't it... cheat time? Gallifrey won't be happy.
The War Master: We're doing it with their approval! Where I come from, paradoxes would occur almost daily. If we had recognizable days anymore...

Masterful (social media-only exclusive scene)

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The Alternative Master: The Doctor would not be pleased...
Kameleon: Indeed not.
The Alternative Master: I'm almost sorry he's not here to see it! It would kill him, if he weren't dead already. Mind you, with the Earth destroyed, he'd need to find himself another hobby; I doubt he has the patience for embroidery.
The Alternative Master: For a start, you can drop the subservient butler act. You didn't even try to murder me at breakfast.
Kameleon: A thousand apologies. Sir.

Masterful

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Jo Grant: I must say, you Time Lords are nothing like the Doctors made you out to be! You're a little strange, but... rather sweet!
The Young Master: "Sweet"?
The Reborn Master: It's what she said!
The War Master: Your praise is terribly kind, Miss Grant! And completely undeserved.
Jo Grant: More like friendly bank managers!
The Reborn Master: Oh. That does it. Pass me that battle axe on the wall!
Jo Grant: Ba-- Battle axe? No, n-- Wait a minute, um... There's-- There's something very wrong here! Oh, I knew it!
The Saxon Master: Miss Grant?
Jo Grant: What?
The Saxon Master: Listen... Listen. Listen.
Jo Grant: What?
The Saxon Master: We're all the Master.
Jo Grant: What?!
The Saxon Master: We're all the Master!
[The Masters laugh in unison.]
Jo Grant: No, no, no, no, no! Stop this!
The Decayed Master: And now, my dear Miss Grant, we're going to sacrifice you!
Jo Grant: Sacrifice me?!
The Saxon Master: Who else wants a sword?
Jo Grant: Well, the last time, when-- I-- I was just trying to save the Doctor's life, and--! It's the same thing happening here...
The Saxon Master: Nah, this time, we're doing it for fun!
[The Masters laugh in unison.]
The Young Master: Actually, I-- I don't agree with this.
The Young Master: When I considered rebellion against our people, looking out into the universe, I thought, when I finally left, I thought I'd have a-- a vision. A grand plan, but-- but this?
Missy: Plans are like bins, sweet cheeks; sometimes, they catch fire!
The Decayed Master: This occasion was supposed to be my apotheosis!
The Bruce Master: You're spoiling it...
The Reborn Master: Like a drunk aunt at a wedding.
Missy: Drunk aunts make weddings! The thing is, someone, naming no names but, hint-hint, Gloaty McGloat Face over there--
The Saxon Master: Really?
Missy: --forgot to invite me. So, I am gatecrashing! And now, look at you all! Your cute little frowny frowns -- The Seven Dwarves. Schemey, Schemey, Schemey, Schemey, Schemey, Schemey, and Crispy. That's you, Barbeque.
The Decayed Master: I will not have my millennia of suffering mocked!
Missy: Oh, you will. And you will like it.
Missy: I like you. Do you wanna go on adventures with me? We'll have fun, and crumpets, and I'll be oh-so-sad when you die.
Jo Grant: Now I think you're madder than the rest!
The Resurrected Master: Miss Grant has a point.
The Saxon Master: Yes, Missy -- why are you here?
Missy: Why didn't you invite me?
The Saxon Master: Because now that I've won, my greatest victory is that I don't get to turn into you!
Missy: Rude.
The Saxon Master: Yeah...
The Reborn Master: None of us relish becoming--
The War Master: --that!
The Bruce Master: No.
The Young Master: It's not the body. It's the madness.
Missy: But I'm inevitable! You can only hold the crazy back so long before... Tah-Dah!
The Saxon Master: Exactly! The last flicker of sanity burns brilliant in me. It's what allowed me to win! Ignore her -- Join me in my triumph! Let's sacrifice Miss Grant!
Jo Grant: I was rather hoping you'd forgotten about that.
The Saxon Master: Nope! And then, we celebrate!
The Alternative Master: I thought you'd more easily buy an alliance with the Doctor than with... another Master.
Missy: I know how that one plays out. I like the cosplay, though. Is everything velvet?
The Alternative Master: Even my underoos.
Missy: On a hot day?
The Alternative Master: Oh, it's murder, absolute murder.
Missy: My favorite kind.
The Alternative Master: Wanting to control others, it's like breathing.
Missy: Isn't it just? But it's time to stop breathing.
Sardo: Hello? Is there someone in there?
The Reborn Master: Oh, no, no, no, no, no, just a man laughing at the futility of existence. And some pens.
Missy: Why he doesn't just give his pets the same name, I'll never know.
Jo Grant: Perhaps badges would help.
Missy: Oh, don't make me like you.

UNIT: Cyber-Reality

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The War Master: Greed and stupidity, a very dangerous combination...
Julia Hartley-Price: I said stop whatever it is you're doing or I'll shoot Miss Stewart!
The War Master: Be my guest! Although I would like to see this experiment through...
Julia Hartley-Price: Who the hell do you think you are?!
The War Master: Were you not paying attention? I do hate having to repeat myself... [He kills her with the Laser Screwdriver.] I am the Master!
The War Master: Aren't we on the same side? I killed your opponent for you.
Kate Stewart: I didn't ask you to. You killed her for your own amusement, there was no need!
The War Master: But that's precisely when it's the most fun!
Kate Stewart: Julia could've been useful to us!
The War Master: Oh, so your objections are pragmatic, not ethical...
Kate Stewart: Oh, they're that, too. But moral outrage would be wasted on you.
The War Master: [Chuckles.] You already know me so well, Kate.

The Bekdel Test

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River Song: So, what do you call yourself now? I mean… You can’t really keep calling yourself The Monk.
Missy: Well, I— The Monk? The Monk?! Right, that’s it. I’m gonna pull your head off, right here, right now, c’mon.

The Lumiat

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The Lumiat: Remember the Valeyard?
Missy: Yes...
The Lumiat: Yes, all that rage, all that pain, all that hatred...
Missy: He was magnificent. What's your point?
The Lumiat: Imagine the opposite of that and apply it to yourself. Consider the Master without rage, without pain, without shadow...
Missy: Wash your mouth out!
The Lumiat: I am the consolidation of all the goodness in you. I am the light to your dark. The day to your night.
Missy: The pain to my backside!
The Lumiat: I think I'm dying.
Missy: You're not. You're, y'know, you're getting that healthy glow about you.
Missy: How good will you be in your next life? We're never the same person twice...

The Auton Infinity

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[The Brigadier has shot and killed Teddy Mears under the assumption that he is the Master.]
Brigadier: I suppose he'll start regenerating now, Doctor. But don't worry; plenty more bullets left in this.
The Fifth Doctor: He won't regenerate, and you know that full well! I should've known something was wrong -- pretending to be so uninterested, so uninvolved! And I've taught the Brigadier over the years not to shoot first and ask questions later!
Veronica: You mean--?
Brigadier: Ah, so now you see, Doctor... I've worn many masks in my time, but...
[He removes the mask.]
The Fifth Doctor: No!
The Master: [chuckles] I have enjoyed this one the most.
The Master: I met Mr. and Mrs. Mears in the hospital, you know. I helped deliver their child, convinced them to call him Edward! All for this single, sublime moment... Is that pettiness, or attention to detail? I'm an artist, Doctor -- an auteur of misery and death... and this is my finest work. Look around you. No TARDIS, no companions, no Brigadier... I stand before you unbeaten. By your own words, you have no idea what my plan is, what is happening, where any of this is going! But you know one thing, at least.
The Fifth Doctor: And what's that?
The Master: You know you've finally lost!

Comic Relief Special

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The Master: [laughs evilly while watching The Doctor in his TARDIS on a screen] You are doomed Doctor! Doomed! You are piloting your TARDIS into a deadly trap, and not even you will not suspect until it's far too late! Nahahaha!
The Doctor: [on screen] You know, if you're going to spy on me, you really should turn the speaker off.
The Master: [sounding a little sheepish] My dear Doctor, after our many centuries of conflict, naturally I wished you to know that your certain death is now...Certain! Nahahaha! [turns off screen] But even you will never suspect that your destruction awaits you on planet Zaston 4!
The Doctor: You only turned the picture off, I'm afraid. I can still hear you.
The Master: [Trying to keep face] I know that! 'Course I know that! [beat] Curse you!
The Doctor: I wanted to talk to you anyway. I have some news that even my arch enemy needs to hear. Meet me on the Planet Terserus in two hours, relative time. And do try not to be late.
The Master: Mock me while you may, Doctor. My revenge will be all the sweeter. And it will be a deadly vengeance. It will be the deadly vengeance of deadly revenge! Bwahahahahahaha!
The Master: [evil cackle] No doubt because no one has set foot on this planet for a hundred years, you thought that you'd escaped my traps of death. But you forget Doctor, I too have a TARDIS. When you told me to meet you at Castle Tersorus, I simply travelled back in time a hundred years, and I bribed the architect! Say hello to the Spikes of Doom!
[The wall the Doctor and his companion, Emma, are trapped against swings round, and then swings again to reveal them unharmed and seated on a lounge]
The Doctor: Say hello to the Sofa of Reasonable Comfort. Naturally I anticipated your journey back in time, so I travelled, slightly further back, and bribed the architect first.
The Master: Or so you think. Naturally I anticipated your travelling back in time, so I travelled back in time to an even further point, and I bribed the architect first!
[The Master uses a remote, causing a large block of stone to fall onto them; a moment later, they emerge through a door on the side of the stone]
The Doctor: Well naturally, I anticipated your journey back to an even earlier point...
Emma: [interrupting] Doctor, will you stop showing off?
The Master: Sadly, Doctor, I am unable to wish you a long and happy marriage, because the moment I am done with this nauseating conversation, I shall travel back in time once more and buy the architect an expensive dinner and suggests that he puts a lever just here, [takes hold of a lever] ...And a trapdoor leading to the vast and disgusting sewers of Terserus, exactly there! [Emma moves from where the Master is pointing, but the Doctor pulls her back] Prepare for five hundred miles of fear and faeces. Goodbye forever, Mr. and Mrs. Doctor! [pulls the lever, only to plummet through a trapdoor beneath his feet]
The Doctor: [pokes his head near the trapdoor] Since you appear to have fallen down a sewer, you won't be able to have dinner with the architect. Although, in fact he's already eaten, because I had dinner with him and suggested he place the trapdoor right here.
The Master: [older version of himself] Not so fast!
Emma: How can he be here? He just fell in the sewers, and why is he so much older?
The Master: Because it's taken me 312 years to climb out of those sewers!
The Doctor: And naturally you found your TARDIS, and travelled back to the present day, no doubt to wreak one of your terrible revenge things.
Daleks: Exterminate!
The Master: Stop! No! After 312 years of climbing through the biggest and most disgusting sewers in the Cosmos. After 3 centuries of wading through those vast steamy lakes, climbing those huge, sqeulchy mountains. After a lifetime of only dung slugs for food, and the occasional company on those long, loney nights. After all that, I'm going to kill The Doctor myself! With my own bare hands! [pauses to savour the irony as he remembers that one hand is now a Dalek plunger] Die Doctor! DIE! [charges, mises the Doctor and falls into the sewer again]
The Doctor: [to Emma] Don't worry, I believe he knows the way out.
The Master: [emerges through door, even older now] 624 years, in a sodding sewer!
The Master: [as the Doctor escapes] After them you fools! [gets knocked in the sewer, yet again, by a passing Dalek. Emerges even older, with a Zimmer Frame] 936 years, in a sewer! Wait for me! Wait for me!
The Master: [youthful again, and with two Dalek orbs on his chest] Behold! Once again I have been augmented with superior Dalek technology. Rejuvenating my physical form and granting me even more power over the cosmos!
The Doctor: And, I notice, breasts.
The Master: These aren't breasts. They're Dalek bumps! They can detect ion charged emissions and operate as etheric beam locators at a distance of up to 20,000 lightyears! [with a smug look at the companion] They are also extremely firm.
Emma: What are you trying to say!?
The Master: Oh, nothing.
The Doctor: Why are the Daleks helping you? What are you giving them in return?
The Master: I have granted them secrets of the Zectronic Energy Beam.
The Doctor: Oh no, you fool. With the Zectronic Energy Beam the Daleks will be able to conquer the entire universe within minutes.
Emma: With just a beam? How?
The Doctor: I'll explain later.
Dalek: Prepare to operate the Zectronic Beam in five Dalek minutes.
The Master: I obey. [moves away to a console]
[After the Doctor regenerates into a woman and Emma leaves]
The Master: Doctor, I have to say you are rather gorgeous.
The Doctor: I'm not bad, am I? And come to think of it, you're a great deal more attractive than I remember.
The Master: Why, thank you.
The Doctor: Tell me, why do they call you the Master?
The Master: I'll explain later. Bwahahahahahaha!
[The Master and the Doctor walk away, arms round each other's waists]

Destiny of the Doctor

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The Master: Bring forth the Doctor.
[The Seventh Doctor appears]
The Master: [chuckles] Ah, the most recent! One so busy setting plans and traps that he fails to see those set for him!
[The Sixth Doctor appears]
The Master: Oh look, the blustering one in the stupid coat. How he struts and gloats!
[The Fifth Doctor appears]
The Master: Wait, there's the nice one. Such charm, such naivety, such innocence, such a fool!
[The Fourth Doctor appears]
The Master: The bohemian! The wanderer! One so keen to abandon his roots, that he abandoned his sense!
[The Third Doctor appears]
The Master: Now, there was a worthy foe. Such cunning, such ingenuity. All wasted through that stubborn streak of goodness!
[The Second Doctor appears]
The Master: The comedian! Quite a capable comedian too. Not quite the clown he looks, this one.
[The First Doctor appears]
The Master: And there's the first. Such wisdom, such intellect... but oh, what a bore the fellow was. [turns to camera] What? A hero, a challenger? Someone to defend your miserable existence, Doctor? Something you've cobbled up yourself by the look of it! Well, good luck, Graaak, you'll definitely need it! The Destiny of the Doctor is in your hands! [chuckles] Don't make me laugh! [laughs evilly]
[The Master is trapped inside a cell]
The Master: Ah Graak, Doctor. Thank goodness you turned up, hasn't it been fun? Actually, I quite enjoyed our intellectual exchanges at the Great Divide. Stimulating. Well, let's crack on now and start sorting out this whole universe, eh? We'll have to hurry, these monsters, they've taken it all the wrong way as you can see. Our sense of humour completely lost on them. They think that I was actually serious about that dominating the universe business! Hurry now, we can join forces. But quickly, summon Siralos and release me from my captivity, Doctor. Graak, I implore you, it's time for a truce, let's make a pact. They have me, but it was only a game, an intellectual challenge. I played fair, I never tampered with the rules! For old time's sake, release me, Doctor. You know what these monsters will do to me. Release me. Release me!

Quotes about the Master

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  • Do you know any nice people? Y'know, normal everyday people, not power-crazed nutters trying to take over the galaxy?
    • Ace, to the Doctor, about the Master, in Survival [26.4] (22 November - 6 December 1989)
  • It was on the planet Skaro that my old enemy, the Master, was finally put on trial. They say he listened calmly as his list of evil crimes was read and sentence passed. Then he made his last, and I thought somewhat curious, request. He demanded that I, the Doctor, a rival Time Lord, should take his remains back to our home planet — Gallifrey. It was a request they should never have granted.
  • Children of Gallifrey were taken from their families at the age of eight, to enter the Academy. Some say that's where it all began, when he was a child. That's when the Master saw eternity. As a novice, he was taken for initiation. He stood in front of the Untempered Schism. It's a gap in the fabric of reality through which could be seen the whole of the vortex. We stand there, eight years old, staring at the raw power of Time and Space, just a child. Some would be inspired. Some would run away. And some would go mad.
  • The Master took the name of Saxon. He married a human, a woman called Lucy, and he corrupted her. She stood at his side while he conquered the Earth. I reversed everything he'd done so it had never even happened, but Lucy Saxon remembered. I held him in my arms. I burned his body. The Master is dead!
    • Rejecting the idea that the Master has returned to life, in The End of Time [4.17–4.18] (25 December 2009 - 1 January 2010)
  • The Master is part of a greater design, because a shadow is falling over creation. Something vast is stirring in the dark!
  • And so it came to pass that the players took their final places, making ready the events that were to come. The madman, sat in his empire of dust and ashes, little knowing of the glory he would achieve, while his saviour looked upon the wilderness, in the hope of changing his inevitable fate. Far away, the idiots and fools dreamt of a shining new future … a future now doomed to never happen. As Earth rolled onwards into night, the people of that world did sleep, and shiver, somehow knowing that dawn would bring only one thing …The final day!
    • Rassilon, speaking of the Master as "the madman," and a part of his own schemes to return himself and other Time Lords to the universe, in The End of Time [4.17–4.18] (25 December 2009 - 1 January 2010)
  • Every star in the universe -- we were going to see them all. But he was too busy burning them. I don't think she ever saw anything.
  • The Master was dying and begged for his life with one final game, and when he lost, I sealed him for all eternity inside my gold tooth.

References

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