Ninth Doctor

fictional character from Doctor Who
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This page is a collection of quotations from the era of the ninth official incarnation of The Doctor from the BBC science fiction television programme Doctor Who, during which the role of the Ninth Doctor was played by Christopher Eccleston.

Doctor Who — Incarnations of The Doctor : 1st - 2nd - 3rd - 4th - 5th - 6th - 7th - 8th - War - 9th - 10th - 11th - 12th - 13th - 14th - 15th
Let me tell you something about the human race. You put a mysterious blue box slap-bang in the middle of town, what do they do? Walk past it. Now stop your nagging. Let's go and explore.

Recurring Phrases

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Fantastic!
Fantastic!

Series 1

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Everywhere we go, two words following us. Bad Wolf.
Previous to the 2005 season, series were numbered continuously, starting with the First Doctor. But given "Doctor Who"'s long absence from television, the production team chose to restart the series numbering from one.

Series 1 Trailer

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The Doctor: Do you wanna come with me? 'Cos if you do, then I should warn you — you're gonna see all sorts of things. Ghosts from the past. Aliens from the future. The day the Earth died in a ball of flame. It won't be quiet, it won't be safe, and it won't be calm. But I'll tell you what it will be: the trip of a lifetime!
(26 March 2005)
The Doctor: Run!

Rose: Who are you, then? Who's that lot down there? [The Doctor ignores her] I said, who are they?!
The Doctor: They're made of plastic. Living plastic creatures. They're being controlled by a relay device on the roof. Which would be a great big problem if--[he pulls a beeping bomb out of his coat] --I didn't have this. So I'm gonna go upstairs and blow it up. And I might well die in the process. But don't worry about me, no. You go home, go on! Go and have your lovely beans on toast. [suddenly serious] Don't tell anyone about this, 'cos if you do, you'll get them killed. [closes the door, then opens it again] I'm the Doctor, by the way. What's your name?
Rose: Rose.
The Doctor: Nice to meet you, Rose! [holds up the bomb, shaking it slightly while grinning.] Run for your life!

Jackie: I'm in my dressing gown.
The Doctor: Yes, you are.
Jackie: There's a strange man in my bedroom.
The Doctor: Yes, there is.
Jackie: Well, anything could happen.
The Doctor: ...No. [He walks away]

Rose: Who are you?
The Doctor: [turns around] Do you know like we were saying? About the Earth revolving? [walks towards Rose] It's like when you're a kid. The first time they tell you that the world's turning and you just can't quite believe it 'cos everything looks like it's standing still. [looks at Rose] I can feel it. [takes Rose's hand] The turn of the Earth. The ground beneath our feet is spinning at 1,000 miles an hour, and the entire planet is hurtling around the sun at 67,000 miles an hour, and I can feel it. We're falling through space, you and me, clinging to the skin of this tiny little world, and if we let go... [drops Rose's hand] That's who I am.

The Doctor: The assembled hordes of Genghis Khan couldn't get through that door, and, believe me, they've tried.

Rose: If you are an alien, how come you sound like you're from the north?
The Doctor: Lots of planets have a north!

Rose: I've got no A-levels. No job. No future. But I'll tell you what I have got: Jericho Street Junior School under-sevens gymnastics team. I won the bronze!

The Doctor: Did I mention? It also travels in time.
(2 April 2005)
The Doctor: The great and the good are gathering to watch the planet burn.
Rose: What for?
The Doctor: Fun! Mind you, when I said "the great and the good", what I mean is the rich.

[Jabe approaches the Doctor]
Jabe: The Gift of Peace. [takes a cutting, hands it to the Doctor] I bring you a cutting of my Grandfather.
The Doctor: Thank you! [hands Jabe's cutting to Rose] Yes, gifts, um... [searches his pockets, clears his throat] I give you, in return, air from my lungs. [gently blows into Jabe's face]
Jabe: [surprised] How... intimate.
The Doctor: There's more where that came from.
Jabe: [impressed] I bet there is.

The Doctor: [opening Rose's phone] Tell you what. With a bit of jiggery pokery--
Rose: Is that a technical term, "jiggery pokery"?
The Doctor: Yeah, I came first in jiggery pokery, what about you?
Rose: [playing along] Nah, I failed hullabaloo.

(The Doctor is surrounded by Cassandra's surgeons.)
The Doctor: What're you gonna do? Moisturize me?
Cassandra: With acid.

The Doctor: (just before Cassandra dries out and ruptures) Everything has its time and everything dies.

The Doctor: You think it'll last forever: people and cars and concrete. But it won't. One day, it's all gone. Even the sky. [long pause] My planet's gone. It's dead. It burned, like the Earth. It's just rocks and dust. Before its time.
Rose: What happened?
The Doctor: There was a war, and we lost.
Rose: A war with who? [The Doctor doesn't answer, seemingly lost in thought.] What about your people?
The Doctor: I'm a Time Lord. I'm the last of the Time Lords. They're all gone. I'm the only survivor. I'm left traveling on my own, 'cos there's no one else.
Rose: There's me.
The Doctor: You've seen how dangerous it is — do you want to go home?
Rose: I don't know... I want... Oh, can you smell chips?
The Doctor: Yeah. [laughs] Yeah!
Rose: I want chips.
The Doctor: Me too.
Rose: Right then, before you get me back in that box, chips it is. And you can pay.
The Doctor: [pats down his pockets] No money.
Rose: [laughs slightly] What sort of date are you? Come on, then, tight wad, chips are on me... we've only got five billion years 'til the shops close!
(9 April 2005)
Charles Dickens: What the Shakespeare is going on...?

Charles Dickens: Can it be that I have the world entirely wrong?
The Doctor: Not wrong! There's just more to learn!

Charles Dickens: This is precisely the sort of cheap mummery I strive to unmask. Séances? Nothing but luminous tambourines and a squeeze box concealed between the knees. This girl knows nothing!
The Doctor: Now, don't antagonize her. I love a happy medium!
Rose: I can't believe you just said that.

Rose: The thing is, Doctor, the Gelth don't succeed, 'cos I know they don't. I know for a fact there weren't corpses walking around in 1869.
The Doctor: Time's in flux, changing every second. Your cozy little world could be rewritten like that. [snaps his fingers] Nothing is safe, remember that - nothing.

Gelth: Give yourselves to glory! Sacrifice your lives to the Gelth!
The Doctor: I trusted you! I pitied you!
Gelth: We don't want your pity! We want this world and all its flesh!
The Doctor: Not while I'm alive.
Gelth: Then live no more!

The Doctor: I saw the Fall of Troy! World War Five! I pushed boxes at the Boston Tea Party! Now I'm gonna die in a dungeon... [disgustedly] in Cardiff!
Rose: It's not just dying. We'll become one of them... We'll go down fighting, yeah?
The Doctor: Yeah.
Rose: Together?
The Doctor: Yeah. I'm so glad I met you.
Rose: Me too.
(16 April 2005)
Rose: She slapped you!
The Doctor: Nine hundred years of time and space, and I've never been slapped by someone's mother.
Rose: Your face!
The Doctor: [defensively] It hurt!
Rose: You're so gay!

Rose: [to the Doctor] Every conversation with you just goes... mental. And there's no one else I can talk to. I've seen all that stuff up there, the size of it, and I can't say a word. Aliens and spaceships and things and... I'm the only person on planet Earth who knows they exist. [a large spaceship crashes into Big Ben and lands in the Thames] Oh, that's just not fair. [the Doctor laughs delightedly and pulls her toward the crash]

Rose: My mum's here.
The Doctor: Oh, that's just what I need! Don't you dare make this place domestic!
Mickey Smith: You ruined my life, Doctor. [the Doctor turns and looks at him, irritated] They thought she was dead, I was a murder suspect because of you!
The Doctor: [looks at Rose] See what I mean? Domestic!
Mickey: I bet you don't even remember my name!
The Doctor: Ricky.
Mickey: It's Mickey!
The Doctor: No, it's Ricky.
Mickey: I think I know my own name!
The Doctor: You think you know your own name? How stupid are you?

Mickey Smith: So, what're you doing down there?
The Doctor: [muffled, due to his holding the sonic screwdriver between his teeth] Ricky--
Mickey Smith: Mickey.
The Doctor: [takes the sonic screwdriver out of his mouth] Ricky, if I was to tell you what I was doing to the controls of my frankly magnificent time ship, would you even begin to understand?

Harriet Jones: (after being told she can't go into the conference room) Damn. You've seen through my cunning plan.


The Doctor: Excuse me, do you mind not farting while I'm saving the world?
Joseph Green: Would you rather silent, but deadly?
(23 April 2005)
[The Doctor speaking to the military police inside 10 Downing Street.]
The Doctor: I think you'll find the Prime Minister is an alien in disguise, and— [glances at military police leader] That's never gonna work, is it?
Policeman: [shakes his head] Nope.
The Doctor: Fair enough. [He runs away]

[The Doctor is surrounded by armed policemen.]
Slitheen: [disguised as General Asquith] Under the jurisdiction of the Emergency Protocols, I authorize you to execute this man!
The Doctor: Ah, well, now, you see, uh, the thing is, if I was you, if I was gonna, uh, execute someone by backing them against the wall, between you and me, a little word of advice: [there is a ping and lift door slides open behind the Doctor] don't stand him against the lift! [he steps backwards and the lift door closes]

[As the Doctor threatens the Slitheen by holding the sonic screwdriver to a decanter]
Slitheen: Ahh, excuse me? Your device will do what, "triplicate the flammability"?
The Doctor: Is that what I said?
Slitheen: You're making it up!
The Doctor: Ah, well, nice try. [he hands the decanter to Harriet, who's to his right] Harriet, have a drink. Think you're gonna need it.
Harriet Jones: You pass it to the left first.
The Doctor: [passing it to Rose on his left] Sorry.

The Doctor: Installed in 1991. Three inches of steel lining every single wall. They'll never get in. [smiles triumphantly]
Rose: And how do we get out?
The Doctor: [still smiling, he looks around and then nods] Ah. [continues smiling]

The Doctor: There's a way out.
Rose: What?
The Doctor: There's always been a way out.
Rose: Then why don't we use it?
The Doctor: [to Jackie, over the phone] Because I can't guarantee your daughter will be safe.
Jackie: Don't you dare! Whatever it is, don't you dare!
The Doctor: That's the thing. If I don't dare, everyone dies.
Rose: Do it.
The Doctor: You don't even know what it is. You'd just let me?
Rose: Yeah.
Jackie: Please, Doctor, please, she's my daughter, she's just a kid.
The Doctor: Do you think I don't know that? 'Cause this is my life, Jackie - it's not fun, it's not smart, it's just standing up and making a decision because nobody else will.
Rose: Then what are you waiting for?
The Doctor: I could save the world but lose you.

Rose: My mother's cooking.
The Doctor: Good. Put her on a slow heat and let her simmer!
Rose: She's cooking tea. For us.
The Doctor: I don't do that.
Rose: She wants to get to know you.
The Doctor: Tough. I've got better things to do.
Rose: It's just tea.
The Doctor: Not to me, it isn't.
Rose: She's my mother!
The Doctor: Well, she's not mine!
Rose: That's not fair!
The Doctor: Well, you can stay there if you want. But right now, there's this plasma storm brewing in the Horsehead Nebula. Fires are burning ten million miles wide. I could fly the TARDIS right into the heart of it, then ride the shock wave all the way out, hurtle right across the sky and end up... anywhere. Your choice.

Mickey: I just went down the shop, and I was thinking, you know, like, the whole world's changed. Aliens and spaceships, all in public. And here it is. [shows a newspaper dismissing the crashing Slitheen ship as a hoax] How could they do that?! They saw it!
The Doctor: They're just not ready. You're happy to believe in something that's invisible, but if it's staring you in the face, nope, can't see it. There's a scientific explanation for that: you're thick!
Mickey: [amused] We're just idiots.
The Doctor: [smiling] Well, not all of you.
(30 April 2005)
The Doctor: Your race is dead! You all burnt, all of you! Ten million ships on fire! The entire Dalek race wiped out in one second!
Dalek: You lie!
The Doctor: I watched it happen! I made it happen!
Dalek: You destroyed us?!
The Doctor: [sombre] I had no choice.
Dalek: And what of the Time Lords?
The Doctor: Dead. They burnt with you. The end of the last great Time War. Everyone lost.
Dalek: And the coward survived.
The Doctor: [mocking] Oh, and I caught your little signal. "Help me". Poor little thing. But there's no one else coming 'cos there's no one else left.
Dalek: I am alone in the universe?
The Doctor: [smirking] Yep.
Dalek: So are you. [The Doctor's smirk fades] We are the same.
The Doctor: [enraged] We're not the same, I'm not-- No, wait. Maybe we are. You're right, yeah, okay. You've got a point. 'Cos I know what to do. I know what should happen. I know what you deserve. [pauses dramatically] Exterminate! [he pulls a nearby lever, causing the Dalek to be electrified. The Dalek screams.]
Dalek: HAVE PITY!
The Doctor: Why should I? You never did!

Simmons: What are you going to do? Sucker me to death?
[The Dalek attaches his plunger to Simmons' face and crushes his skull.]

Van Statten: I thought you were the great expert, Doctor. If you're so impressive, then why not just reason with this Dalek? It must be willing to negotiate. There must be something it needs. Everything needs something.
The Doctor: What's the nearest town?
Van Statten: Salt Lake City.
The Doctor: Population?
Van Statten: One million.
The Doctor: All dead. If the Dalek gets out, it'll murder every living creature. That's all it wants.
Van Statten: [shouting] But why would it do that?!
The Doctor: Because it honestly believes they should die. Human beings are different, and anything different is wrong. It's the ultimate in racial cleansing, and you, van Statten, you've let it loose!

[The Dalek appears on the view screen in van Statten's office.]
The Doctor: You're just a soldier without commands.
Dalek: Then I shall follow the primary order: the Dalek instinct to destroy, to conquer!
The Doctor: What for? What's the point?! Don't you see? It's all gone. Everything you were, everything you stood for.
Dalek: Then what should I do?
The Doctor: Alright, then. If you want orders, follow this one: Kill yourself.
Dalek: The Daleks must survive!
The Doctor: The Daleks have failed! Now why don't you finish the job and make the Daleks extinct; rid the universe of your filth?! Why don't you just DIE?!
[beat]
Dalek: You would make a good Dalek.

[The Doctor believes that the Dalek has just killed Rose.]
The Doctor: I killed her.
Van Statten: I'm sorry.
The Doctor: I said I'd protect her. She was only here because of me, and you're sorry? I could have killed that Dalek in its cell. But you stopped me.
Van Statten: It was the prize of my collection!
The Doctor: [outraged] YOUR COLLECTION?! Well, was it worth it?! Worth all those men's deaths, worth Rose?! Let me tell you something, van Statten. Mankind goes into space to explore, to be part of something greater!
Van Statten: Exactly! I wanted to touch the stars!
The Doctor: You just want to drag the stars down and stick them underground, underneath tons of sand and dirt, and label them! You're about as far from the stars as you can get! [quietly] And you took her down with you. She was nineteen years old.

[The Dalek has opened up its armor, revealing the mutated creature inside.]
The Doctor: Get out of the way! [The Doctor is aiming a hand-held cannon at the Dalek.] Rose, get out of the way now!
Rose: No. I won't let you do this.
The Doctor: That thing killed hundreds of people!
Rose: It's not the one pointing the gun at me.
The Doctor: I've got to do this. I've got to end it! The Daleks destroyed my home, my people! I've got nothing left!
Rose: Look at it.
[The Dalek lifts a tendril, feeling the sunlight shining through a hole it shot through the ceiling.]
The Doctor: What's it doing?
Rose: It's the sunlight. That's all it wants.
The Doctor: But it can't--
Rose: It couldn't kill Van Statten. It couldn't kill me. It's changing. What about you, Doctor? What the hell are you changing into?

[after Rose grants the Dalek's wish by ordering it to kill itself]
Dalek: [weakly] Are you... frightened, Rose Tyler?
Rose: Yeah.
Dalek: So am I. Ex... ter... min... ate...

Van Statten: [Held by guards] What the hell are you doing?!
Diana Goddard: Two hundred personnel dead, and all because of you, sir. Take him away, wipe his memory, and leave him by the road someplace.
Van Statten: You can't do this to me! I am Henry van Statten!
Diana Goddard: And by tonight, Henry van Statten will be a homeless, brainless junkie living on the streets of San Diego, Seattle, Sacramento. Someplace beginning with S.
(7 May 2005)
[The Doctor and Rose exit the TARDIS first]
The Doctor: So, it's 200,000, it's a spaceship—no, wait a minute—space station, and uh... go try that gate over there. Okay, off you go.
Rose: 200,000? [The Doctor nods, and leans back against the wall as Adam exits the TARDIS]
Adam: Where are we?
Rose: Good question. Let's see. So, um, judging by the architecture, I'd say we're around the year [looks at the Doctor] Two hundred thousand? If you listen, engines. We're on some sort of space station. Yeah, definitely a space station. It's a bit warm in here. They could turn the heating down. Tell you what, let's try that gate. Come on.

Rose: [looking out over the Earth] That's...well, I'll let The Doctor explain, he does it better.
The Doctor: The Fourth Great and Bountiful Human Empire. And there it is: planet Earth at its height. Covered with megacities, five moons, population 96 billion. The hub of a galactic domain, stretching across a million planets, a million species. With mankind right in the middle. [Adam faints. The Doctor doesn't react, still looks out over the Earth] [deadpan] He's your boyfriend.
Rose: [deadpan] Not anymore.

The Doctor: The thing is, Adam, time travel is like visiting Paris. You can't just read the guidebook, you've got to throw yourself in! Eat the food, use the wrong verbs, get charged double and end up kissing complete strangers! [beat] Or is that just me?

Rose: [Adam has decided to go sit on the observation deck to absorb things] D'you want me to come with you?
Adam Mitchell: No, no, you stick with the Doctor. [pause] You'd rather be with him. [longer pause] It's gonna take a better man than me to get between you two.

The Editor: It may interest you to know that this isn't actually the Fourth Great and Bountiful Human Empire. It's hardly human at all! It's a place where humans happen to live — [unseen creature protests] — sorry, are allowed to live, by kind permission of my client. [points upwards]
[The Doctor and Rose follow his finger and finally see the huge alien creature with ferocious-looking jaws on the ceiling]
Rose: [caught off-guard] What is it?
The Doctor: You mean that thing's in charge of Satellite Five?
The Editor: "That thing", as you put it, is in charge of the human race. For almost a hundred years, mankind has been guided and shaped. Its knowledge and ambition strictly controlled, through its broadcast news — edited by my superior, your master, and humanity's guiding light: The Mighty Jagrafess of the Holy Hadrojassic Maxarodenfoe! [grins] I call him Max.

The Editor: Create a climate of fear, and it's easy to keep the borders closed. It's just a matter of emphasis. The right word in the right broadcast repeated often enough can destabilize an economy, invent an enemy, change a vote.
Rose: So all the people on Earth are, like... slaves?
The Editor: Now there's an interesting point. Is a slave a slave, if he doesn't know he's enslaved?
The Doctor: Yes.
The Editor: Aww, I was hoping for a philosophical debate. Is that all I'm gonna get, "yes"?
The Doctor: Yes.
The Editor: [chuckles] You're no fun.
The Doctor: Let me out of these manacles and I'll show you how much fun I am.
The Editor: [to Rose] Ooh, he's tough, isn't he?
(14 May 2005)
[first lines]
Rose Tyler: Peter Alan Tyler — my dad. The most wonderful man in the world. Born 15th of September 1954.

The Doctor: Your wish is my command. But be careful what you wish for.

The Doctor: The past is another country. 1987's just the Isle of Wight.

The Doctor: [sternly] When we met, I said "travel with me in space", you said "no". Then I said it was a time machine.
Rose: It wasn't some big plan! I just saw it happening, and I thought... I can stop this.
The Doctor: Oh, I did it again. I picked another stupid ape! I should've known. It's not about showing you the universe, it never is. It's about the universe doing something for you!
Rose: So it's okay when you go to other times, and you save people's lives, but not when it's me saving my dad?!
The Doctor: I know what I'm doing! You don't. Two sets of us being there made that a vulnerable point.
Rose: But he's alive!
The Doctor: My entire planet died! My whole family! Do you think it never occurred to me to go back and save them?
Rose: But it's not like I've changed history! ...Not much. I mean, he's never gonna be a world leader, he's not gonna start World War Three or anything.
The Doctor: Rose, there's a man alive in the world who wasn't alive before; an ordinary man - that's the most important thing in creation! The whole world's different because he's alive!

The Doctor: [to Rose as a baby] Now, Rose, you're not going to bring around the end of the world, are you? [no reply] Are you?
(21 May 2005)
Rose: What's the emergency?
The Doctor: It's mauve!
Rose: Mauve?
The Doctor: Universally recognized colour for danger.
Rose: What happened to red?
The Doctor: Oh, that's just humans. By everyone else's standards, red's camp. Oh, those misunderstandings, all those Red Alerts, all that dancing.

The Doctor: Know how long you can knock around the universe without bumping into Earth?
Rose: Five days? Or is that just when we're out of milk?
The Doctor: All the species in all the universe and it has to come out of a cow...

The Doctor: [asking about Rose's whereabouts] And I wanna find a blonde in a Union Jack tee. And I mean a specific one, I didn't just wake up this morning with a craving.

The Doctor: Amazing.
Nancy: What is?
The Doctor: 1941. Right now, not very far from here, the German war machine is rolling up the map of Europe. Country after country, falling like dominoes. Nothing can stop it, nothing. Until one tiny, damp little island says "No. No, not here." A mouse in front of a lion. You're amazing, the lot of you. I don't know what you did to Hitler, but you frighten the hell out of me, go on, do what you've got to do, save the world.

Doctor Constantine: Before this war began, I was a father and a grandfather. Now I'm neither, but I'm still a doctor.
The Doctor: Yeah. I know the feeling.
(28 May 2005)
[The Doctor, Jack and Rose are cornered by the empty children.]
The Doctor: Go to your room. [Pause] Go to your room! I mean it. I'm very, very angry with you. I'm very, very cross! GO...TO...YOUR...ROOM! [The children obey him and lurch away.] I'm really glad that worked. Those would have been terrible last words.

Rose: What's that noise?
Doctor: End of the tape. It ran out about thirty seconds ago.
Empty Child: I'm here, now. Can't you see me?
Doctor: I sent it to its room. This is its room.
[They turn and see the Child in the room with them]
Empty Child: Are you my mummy? Mummy?

Jack: Okay. This can function as a sonic blaster, a sonic cannon, and as a triple-enfolded sonic disruptor. Doc, whatcha got?
Doctor: I've got a sonic, uh...oh, never mind.
Jack: What?
Doctor: It's sonic, okay? Let's leave it at that.
Jack: Disruptor? Cannon? What?
Doctor: It's sonic! Totally sonic! I'm...sonicked up!
Jack: A sonic what!?
Doctor: Screwdriver!

Jack: Who has a sonic screwdriver?
The Doctor: I do!
Rose: Lights... [looks around]
Jack: Who looks at a screwdriver and thinks, "Ooh, this could be a little more sonic!"?
The Doctor: What, you've never been bored?
Rose: There's gotta be a light switch!
The Doctor: Never had a long night? Never had a lot of cabinets to put up?

The Doctor: There isn't a little boy born who wouldn't tear the world apart to save his mummy. And this little boy can.

Rose: Okay, so he's vanished into thin air. Why is it always the great looking ones who do that?
Doctor: I'm making an effort not to be insulted.

The Doctor: [Exultant upon saving all the Nanogene-infected Londoners.] Everybody lives, Rose. Just this once....Everybody lives!!

Mrs. Harcourt: Doctor Constantine!
Doctor Constantine: Mrs. Harcourt, how much better you're looking!
Mrs. Harcourt: My leg's grown back! When I come to the hospital, I had but one leg!
Doctor Constantine: [equally confused by events] Well, there is a war on. Is it possible you miscounted?
The Doctor: [to the crowd of people] Right, you lot, lots to do; beat the Germans, save the world, don't forget the welfare state! [to Rose as he fiddles with the ship's controls] Setting this to self-destruct as soon as everyone's clear. History says there was an explosion here, and who am I to argue with history?
Rose: Usually the first in line!

Jack: You know, the last time I was sentenced to death, I ordered four Hyper Vodkas for breakfast. All a bit of a blur after that. Woke up in bed with both my executioners. Lovely couple. They stayed in touch. Can't say that about most executioners.

The Doctor: Rose! I just remembered!
Rose: What?
[The Doctor starts to dance as Glenn Miller's "In The Mood" starts playing.]
The Doctor: I can dance. I can dance!
Rose: Actually, Doctor... I thought Jack might like this dance.
The Doctor: [speaking as he continues to dance by himself] I'm sure he would, Rose. I'm absolutely certain. But who with?
[The Doctor takes Rose in his arms and they dance around the TARDIS console until the song ends, as Jack looks on.]
(4 June 2005)
[Mickey knocks on the TARDIS door; Jack Harkness answers]
Jack: Who the hell are you?
Mickey: What do you mean, "who the hell am I"? Who the hell are you?
Jack: Captain Jack Harkness. Whatever you're selling, we're not buying.
Mickey: Get out of my way!

Mickey: [after he, Rose, Jack and The Doctor have just exited the TARDIS] That old lady's staring.
Jack: [to the Doctor] Probably wondering what four people were doing in a small box.
Mickey: [disdainful look at Jack] What are you Captain of, the "Innuendo Squad"?
[Jack gives him the "whatever" sign]

Mickey: [after the Doctor explains why the TARDIS resembles a Police Public Call Box] But that's what I meant: there's no police boxes anymore, so doesn't it get noticed?
The Doctor: Ricky, let me tell you something about the human race. You put a mysterious blue box slap-bang in the middle of town, what do they do? Walk past it. Now stop your nagging. Let's go and explore.

Jack: According to intelligence, the target is the last surviving member of the Slitheen family, a criminal sect from the planet Raxacoricofallapatorius, masquerading as a human being zipped inside a skin suit. Okay, plan of attack, we assume a basic fifty seven fifty six strategy, covering all available exits on the ground floor. Doctor, you go face to face, that'll designate exit one, Ill cover exit two. Rose, you exit three, Mickey Smith, you take exit four. Have you got that?
The Doctor: Excuse me, who's in charge here?
Jack: Sorry. Awaiting orders, sir.
The Doctor: Right, here's the plan. (Pauses briefly) Like i said, nice plan. Anything else?
Jack: Present arms.
[They all produce their mobile phones]
Jack: Ready.
Rose: Ready.
Mickey: Ready.
The Doctor: Ready.
Jack: Speed dial?
The Doctor: Yep
Rose: Ready.
Mickey: Check.
Jack: See ya in hell.

[They all go off in their respective directions, leaving Mickey alone before he turns and walks off, The Doctor reaches the Mayor's office]

The Doctor: Hello, I've come to see the Lord Mayor.
Idris Hopper: Have you got an appointment?
The Doctor: No, just an old friend passing by, bit of a surprise. Can't wait to see her face!
Idris Hopper: Well, she's just having a cup of tea.
The Doctor: Just go in there and tell her "the Doctor" would like to see her.
Idris Hopper: Doctor who?
The Doctor: Just the Doctor. Tell her exactly that, "The Doctor".
Idris Hopper: Hang on a tic. [goes inside. There is the sound of a teacup smashing, and Idris returns.] The Lord Mayor says thank you f-for popping by. She'd love to have a chat, but, um, she's up to her eyes in paperwork. Perhaps you would like to make an appointment for next week...
The Doctor: [happily] She's climbing out the window, isn't she?
Idris Hopper: Yes, she is.

Margaret Blaine: Why can't you leave me alone? What did I ever do to you?
The Doctor: You tried to kill me and destroy this entire planet.
Margaret Blaine: Apart from that.

Margaret Blaine: [admiring the TARDIS] This is the technology of the gods!
The Doctor: Well, don't worship me, I'd make a very bad god. You wouldn't get a day off, for starters.

Margaret Blaine: I promise you I've changed since we last met, Doctor. There was this girl, just today, young thing... And something of a danger. She was getting too close. I felt the bloodlust rising, just as the family taught me. I was going to kill her without a thought. And then... I stopped. She's alive somewhere right now. She's walking around this city because I can change! I did change! I know I can't prove it--
The Doctor: I believe you.
Margaret: Then you know I'm capable of better.
The Doctor: It doesn't mean anything.
Margaret Blaine: I spared her life!
The Doctor: You let one go, but that's nothing new. Every now and then, a little victim's spared. Because she smiled, because he's got freckles, because they begged. And that's how you live with yourself. That's how you slaughter millions. Because once in a while, on a whim, if the wind's in the right direction, you happen to be kind.
Margaret Blaine: Only a killer would know that. Is that right? From what I've seen, your funny little happy-go-lucky life leaves devastation in its wake. Always moving on, because you dare not go back. Playing with so many people's lives - you might as well be a god. And you're right, Doctor. You're absolutely right. Sometimes... you let one go. [almost tearful] Let me go.
(11 June 2005)
Zu-Zana: Just stand still and let the Defabricator work its magic.
Jack: What's a Defabricator?
[It's a laser that disintegrates all of Jack's clothing.]
Jack: Okay. Defabricator. Does exactly what it says on the tin. Am I naked in front of millions of viewers?
Trine-E and Zu-Zana: Absolutely!
Jack: Ladies, your viewing figures just went up!

[After watching Jack flirt with Lynda]
The Doctor: You mind flirting outside?
Jack: I was just saying "hello"!
The Doctor: For you, that's flirting.

Female Programmer: If you're not holding us hostage, then open the door and let us out. The staff are terrified!
The Doctor: That's the same staff who execute hundreds of people every day?
Female Programmer: That's not our fault! We're just doing our jobs!
The Doctor: And with that sentence, you just lost the right to even talk to me. Now, back off!

Female Programmer: [Jack is about to open the door to Archive 6] You're not allowed in there. [authoritatively and loudly] Archive 6 is out of bounds!
Jack: [raises two large guns; shouting] Do I look like an "out of bounds" sort of guy?

The Doctor: [to Jack, after hearing him flirt again] There's a time and a place.

Dalek: I will talk to the Doctor.
The Doctor: Oh, will you? That's nice. Hello!
Dalek: The Dalek stratagem nears completion. The fleet is almost ready. You will not intervene.
The Doctor: Oh, really? Why's that, then?
Dalek: We have your associate. You will obey or she will be exterminated!
The Doctor: No.
[The Daleks glance at each other in confusion.]
Dalek: Explain yourself.
The Doctor: I said no.
Dalek: What is the meaning of this negative?
The Doctor: It means no.
Dalek: But she will be destroyed!
The Doctor: No! 'Cos this is what I'm gonna do: I'm gonna rescue her! I'm gonna save Rose Tyler from the middle of the Dalek fleet, and then I'm gonna save the Earth, and then, just to finish off, I'm gonna wipe every last stinking Dalek out of the sky!
Dalek: But you have no weapons! No defenses! No plan!
The Doctor: Yeah! And doesn't that scare you to death? [speaking to Rose] Rose?
Rose: Yes, Doctor?
The Doctor: I'm coming to get you.

Anne Robinson Droid: Fitch, you are the weakest link! Goodbye! [zaps contestant]]
(18 June 2005)
[The Doctor steps out of the TARDIS]
Daleks: Exterminate! Exterminate!
[They fire their weapons, which are stopped by a force-field extending a good three metres out from the Tardis]
The Doctor: Is that it? Useless! Nul points! [to Rose and Jack] It's all right, you can come out; that force-field can hold back anything.
Jack: Almost anything.
The Doctor: Yes, but I wasn't going to tell them that, thanks.
Jack: Sorry.
The Doctor: Do you know what they call me in the ancient legends of the Dalek Homeworld? The Oncoming Storm. You might've removed all your emotions but I reckon right down deep in your DNA, there's one little spark left, and that's fear. Doesn't it just burn when you face me? So tell me. How did you survive the Time War?
Dalek Emperor: They survived through me.
[The Doctor turns to the sound of the voice, the lights then come on revealing the Dalek Emperor and his army]
The Doctor: [shocked] Rose...Captain...This is the emperor of the daleks.
Dalek Emperor: You destroyed us, Doctor. The Dalek race died in your inferno, but my ship survived. Falling through time, crippled but alive.
The Doctor: I get it.
Dalek 1: Do not interrupt!
Dalek 2: Do not interrupt!
Dalek 3: Do not interrupt!
The Doctor: I think you're forgetting something. I'm the Doctor, and If there's one thing I can do, it's talk! I've got five billion languages, and you haven't got one way of stopping me. So if anyone's gonna shut up, [turns around and angrily yells at the Daleks] IT'S YOU!
[The Daleks back up from the Doctor's outburst. The Doctor turns back to the Emperor, his face once again calm]
The Doctor: [cheerfully] Okie-doke! So, where were we?

The Doctor: [as a hologram] This is Emergency Programme One. Rose, now listen. This is important. If this message is activated, then it can only mean one thing. We must be in danger, and I mean fatal. I'm dead, or about to die any second with no chance of escape. And that's okay. Hope it's a good death. But I promised to look after you, and that's what I'm doing. The TARDIS is taking you home. [Rose protests] And I bet you're fussing and moaning now. Typical! But hold on and just listen a bit more. The TARDIS can never return for me. Emergency Programme One means I'm facing an enemy that should never get their hands on this machine. So this is what you should do: let the TARDIS die. Just let this old box gather dust. No one can open it. No one will even notice it. Let it become a strange little thing standing on a street corner. And over the years, the world will move on and the box will be buried. And if you wanna remember me, then you can do one thing, that's all, one thing. [turns to Rose, his voice no longer sounding projected] Have a good life. Do that for me, Rose. Have a fantastic life.

Rose: But what do I do every day, Mum? Get up. Go to work. Catch the bus, eat chips, and go to bed.
Mickey: It's what the rest of us do.
Rose: But I can't.
Mickey: Because you’re better than us?
Rose: No, I didn't mean that. But it was, it was a better life. I don’t mean all the travelling and seeing aliens and spaceships and things. That don't matter. The Doctor showed me a better way of living your life. [to Mickey] You know, he showed you too. [continues] You don't just give up. You don’t just let things happen. You make a stand. You say "no." You have the guts to do what's right when everyone else just runs away, and I just can't!

[The Daleks have cornered the Doctor]
The Doctor: You really wanna think about this. 'Cos if I activate this signal, every living creature dies.
Dalek Emperor: I am immortal.
The Doctor: Do you wanna put that to the test?
Dalek Emperor: I want to see you become like me. Hail the Doctor, the great exterminator!
The Doctor: [gripping the switch] I'LL DO IT!
Dalek Emperor: Then prove yourself, Doctor! What are you? Coward or killer?
The Doctor: [hesitates, then finally steps away] Coward. Any day.
Dalek Emperor: Mankind will be harvested because of your weakness.
The Doctor: And what about me? Am I becoming one of your angels?
Dalek Emperor: You are the heathen. You will be exterminated!
The Doctor: Maybe it's time.

The Doctor: Rose Tyler. I was going to take you to so many places. Barcelona. Not the city Barcelona, the planet Barcelona. You'd love it. Fantastic place! They've got dogs with no noses! [Laughs] Imagine how many times a day you end up telling that joke and it's still funny!
Rose: Then... why can't we go?
The Doctor: Maybe you will, and maybe I will. But not like this.
Rose: You're not making sense.
The Doctor: I might never make sense again! I might have two heads, or no head. Imagine me with no head, ha! And don't say that's an improvement... But it's a bit dodgy, this process. You never know what you're going to end up with. [he gasps as a burst of regenerative energy erupts from his torso]
Rose: Doctor!
The Doctor: Stay away!
Rose: Doctor, tell me what's going on.
The Doctor: I absorbed all the energy of the time vortex, and no one's meant to do that! [chuckles, but then looks up at her seriously] Every cell in my body's dying.
Rose: Can't you do something?
The Doctor: Yeah. I'm doing it now! Time Lords have this little trick. It's sort of a way of cheating death. Except... it means I'm going to change. And I'm not going to see you again. Not like this. Not with this daft old face. And before I go--
Rose: Don't say that!
The Doctor: Rose, before I go, I just want to tell you you were fantastic. Absolutely fantastic. And do you know what? So was I! [The Doctor regenerates.]

Old Friends

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(16 February 2022)
The Doctor: Scotland. Again?! Honestly, if the TARDIS turned Tartan... I won't be surprised!

The Doctor: Does beg one question, though...
Sam Bishop: What someone like Fiona sees in a man like me?
The Doctor: No. You're gorgeous!

Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart: There were Cyber-cadavers floating down the Thames for months after one incursion!

Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart: A Doctor with a buzz cut, well I never. We'll make a soldier out of you yet!
The Doctor: Don't.

Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart: Doctor. I must ask: are you really happy traveling by yourself?
The Doctor: I said so, didn't I? You're never volunteering to jump onboard.
Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart: Oh, good heavens, no! No, that's a young person's game.
The Doctor: I was gonna say...
Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart: All the same -- perhaps you need someone to keep you in fighting order, too. It's a tough old life, being alone. Took me a while to understand that myself.
The Doctor: I'll... think about it. Anyway, I've got lots of friends all over this universe, and the next one, and the next, scattered about like stars in the sky. Brilliant, bright and unique, all of them.
Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart: Alright, alright, I don't doubt it.
The Doctor: Only one best friend, though.
Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart: Oh! Now you'll make an old man blush.
The Doctor: Wasn't talking about you. [To the TARDIS.] "Battered", he says! Best ship in the universe.
Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart: Most outlandish, unreliable, and fantastic, certainly.
The Doctor: We don't do too badly.

Back to Earth

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(4 May 2022)
The Doctor: Time travel -- so much admin! I wonder if I help you with your pools win too?
Mandy: Oi! That was my own good luck.
The Doctor: Mine, too.

Salvation Nine

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(17 August 2022)
Lopps: Halt immediately!
The Doctor: I'm halted! I'm a hundred percent halted, I can't halt any more!
Lopps: It's just-- There's mud.
The Doctor: What?
Lopps: There's quite a lot of mud.
The Doctor: What?
Lopps: The way you're heading, down there -- I know the terrain very well, and it's rather muddy. You'll mess up your boots!
The Doctor: What?! Wait. Why haven't you killed me?
Lopps: I don't know. I don't think I want to. I like your jacket! Is it made of animal?

Archipelago

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(29 May 2024)
[The Doctor has read River Song's Diary]
River Song: S-So... you know?
The Doctor: All our missions, voyages, dalliances, dates, yeah! I mean, some bits were vague; still haven't got my head 'round the whole wedding.
River Song: No, no. No, no, no, no! No, you-- you can't do this! It breaks everything! Th-- The arrangement! The agreement!
The Doctor: I didn't agree to this!
River Song: Oh, but you do...
The Doctor: Nah, not me! Not this version of me. Whatever you have with whoever's coming next -- and frankly, it sounds like a lot -- we don't have it.
River Song: But... how can you say that?!
The Doctor: It's the truth.
River Song: Rule One: The Doctor Lies. And most of all, he lies to himself.
The Doctor: Not this me, I'm brutally honest.
River Song: This you is still the you I know!
The Doctor: Not necessarily; maybe this me doesn't.
River Song: Doesn't what?
The Doctor: I don't know! There was a lovely woman in Yorkshire, gave me chipsticks. And you should've seen the way that Lady Macbeth made eyes at me. But this me doesn't! Couldn't!
River Song: Couldn't what? Have you really been so... so broken by all that came before?
The Doctor: Don't!
River Song: I have never met a Doctor more full of joy and glee and life! You celebrate the universe... Oh, but it's all just an act, isn't it? Because you went through hell and back!
The Doctor: Ah, you wanna play the war widow? Knock yourself out! Maybe this is hell right now, you and me trapped in a room, no way out.
River Song: Whatever you feel about me now, I know we work it out!
The Doctor: If we work it out the way you've written, I don't want it. That's not a marriage of equals! It's you knowing more than me or me knowing more than you. Spoilers!

Other Appearances

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(23 November 2013)
The General: "It's delusional. I mean... the calculations alone would take hundreds of years."
The Eleventh Doctor: "Oh, hundreds and hundreds..."
The Tenth Doctor: "...But don't worry, I started a very long time ago."
[Zoom in on a TARDIS racing to Gallifrey]
The First Doctor: "Calling the War Council of Gallifrey! This is the Doctor!"
[Joined by eight other TARDISes]
The Eleventh Doctor: "You might say I've been doing this all my lives."
The Second Doctor: "Good luck."
The Third Doctor: "Standing by."
The Second Doctor: "Ready."
The First Doctor: "Commencing calculations."
The Fifth Doctor: "Soon be there."
The Seventh Doctor: "Cross the boundaries that divide one universe from another."
The Sixth Doctor: "Just got to lock on to his coordinates."
The Ninth Doctor: "And for my next trick."
The General: "I didn't know when I was well off. All twelve of them!"
Androgar: "No, sir. All thirteen!"
[A new pair of grey eyebrows is seen]
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