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- If life were simple, people would all die in cemeteries.
- Verisimilitude is not art.
- When someone tells you "never say never", they are setting a poor example.
- Texas has four seasons: summer, ultra-summer, hyper-summer and not-summer.
- Nothing dates like futurity.
- Occam's razor doesn't need triple blades.
- You can't squeeze blood from a turnip... but you can make an awful mess of the turnip trying.
- Most people do the best they can with the limited resources at hand.
- Dr. Hoffman's universal, all-purpose advice for almost any problem: take your meds, get plenty of rest, and stop thinking about sex so much.
- Confusion is the first step on the path to truth.
- Never let a cat scratch your back (Abigail Hoffman, age 6)
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