Creepshow is a 1982 film, split into five separate stories, with a wraparound segment where a horror comic by a little boy gets confiscated and disposed of. Through a "Grim Reaper" like character who is the comic's mascot, we are told the stories.
- You're all a bunch of dirty vultures just waiting to get your hands on my money!
- Where's my cake? I want my cake!
- Where's my cake, Bedelia? Where's my Father's Day cake? I want my cake, you dirty bitch! I'm going to have it!
- Bedelia! It's Father's Day! Where's my cake? You promised me my cake!!
- Bedelia! I'm your father, and you're supposed to be taking care of me!!
- Bedelia! YOU BITCH!! What do you think I got you here for?! You're just like all the others! You're nothing but a bunch of vultures!
- Bedelia! I want my cake! BEDELIA!!! Where's my Father's Day cake?!
Nathan Grantham's corpseEdit
- Where's my cake, Bedelia? I want my cake!! It's Father's Day, Bedelia! I want my cake!
- Where's my cake? I want it! It's mine!
- I WANT MY CAKE!
- It's Father's Day, and I got my cake. Happy Father's Day!!
- Bastards! Goddamned bugs. I'll get them bugs! I own this goddamned building. There's not going to be any more damn bugs! Heads are going to roll. I promise you that!
- Stan: I told you before, I didn't want you to read this crap! I never saw such rotten crap in my life! Where do you get this shit? Who sells it to you? I'm talking to you, young man! You wanna answer me when I'm talking to you! You remember who puts the friggin' bread on the table around here, don't you?
- Billy's mother: Stan, don't be too hard on him. All the kids read them.
- Stan: My boy isn't all the kids! Wanna know where this is going, Billy? In the garbage! Right into the friggin' garbage! Now, you got any smart mouth about that?
- Billy: I don't see how it's any worse than the books you keep in your dresser! Those ones under your underwear. Those sex books!
- [Stan, offended by this, violently slaps Billy in the face]
- Billy's mother: Stan, you didn't have to—
- Stan: Hit him? Not only do I find out he's reading this crap, he's a goddamn little snoop as well!
- Billy: No, it wasn't like that! You asked for me to get your cufflinks! It was on Sunday!
- Billy's mother: The windows are open downstairs. I'd better go down and close them or the rain will get in.
- Stan: No, I'll do it. I got some garbage I want to throw away.
- Billy: Daddy, please, don't throw it away. I'm sorry.
- Stan: The next time, young man, I find you with a worthless piece of shit like this again, you won't sit down for a week, buddy boy! Remember that! Tuck in!
- Stan: You see that crap? All that horror crap? Things coming out of crates and eating people? Dead people coming back to life? People turning into weeds, for Christ's sake?!
- Billy's mother: Well, yes I did, but I...
- Stan: Well, do you want him reading that stuff?!
- Billy's mother: Well, no, but...
- Stan: All right, then! I took care of it. That's why God made fathers, babe. That's why God made fathers.
- Henry Blaine: Who is coming out, Cass?
- Richard Grantham: You mean Cass hasn't told you about dotty old great Aunt Bedelia? The patriarch of our clan?
- Henry: Isn't she the one who was supposed to have...?
- Sylvia Grantham: Supposed to have murdered her father? Yes. Bedelia is my aunt. Which means that she is Richard and Cass's great aunt. Which also means that she's older than God. But her father, Nathan Grantham, was even older and meaner than that.
- Richard: He was hysterically jealous of Bedelia all his life. A complete Freudian relationship. Then, when he was about 184, he had a stroke. And lucky Bedelia, she got to nurse him full-time. Then she met a fella. Yes, sir, a real September courtship.
- Cass Blaine: September courtship! This was October or November, at the very latest. He was 75! And Aunt Bedelia is...
- Sylvia: Never mind, my dears. The point is Bedelia loved her rather elderly beau, and her own father had him murdered!
- Richard: Yarbro was the guy's name and he supposedly died... in a "hunting accident". That's what's on the books, anyway.
- Cass: For Bedelia, it was the last straw. She bashed her father's head in with a marble ashtray.
- Richard: So rumor has it.
- Sylvia: Well, however it happened, it was good riddance to some extremely bad rubbish. And my lovely niece and my handsome nephew have very good reasons for being pleased by old Nathan's death. There was no trouble about the will. Share and share alike. And now, every Father's Day, every single Father's Day since his death for seven long years, she returns to this house. The "scene of the crime".
- Sylvia: Bedelia was always very unstable, even when she was much younger. After the death of her gentleman friend, she grew steadily worse.
- Henry: Why Father's Day?
- Sylvia: Because that was the day of the tragedy. And she is overwhelmed with her own guilt. She will go to her father's grave and meditate for about an hour. Then she will come inside and we'll all sit down to a nice baked ham dinner. The three of us... I'm so sorry, Henry... the four of us, who now owe her so very much.
- [Bedelia Grantham visits her father's grave]
- Bedelia Grantham: Happy Father's Day. I didn't know I had it in me. I'm your daughter, right? You bootlegger! Killer! Murderer!! Ungrateful bastard! You shouldn't have killed Peter, you know. He was a man, right? A real man! See? Everything I wanted, he wanted for me!! You stupid bastard. You screwed it all up. You screwed up my mother; you screwed me up. You got me so mad... drove me crazy. [imitating Nathan Grantham] "I want my cake, Bedelia! You bitch!" You called me a bitch! Sylvia fixed it all! Ashtray back in place! Chair overturned!! A fall, daddy, a bad fall. Nobody could catch us. Nobody. You taught me. You taught Sylvia. You taught us all. [accidentally spills her bottle of whiskey on the ground] So peaceful here... [A dead hand suddenly bursts out of the ground. Bedelia turns around and sees that Nathan has come back as a zombie and is crawling out of his own grave.] No!! NO!!! [continues screaming as Nathan speaks]
- Nathan Grantham's corpse: Where's my cake, Bedelia? [Bedelia continues screaming as Nathan advances toward her] I want my cake!! [wraps his hands around Bedelia's throat and begins strangling her] It's Father's Day, Bedelia! I want my cake! [watches as Bedelia dies]
The Lonesome Death of Jordy VerrillEdit
Something to Tide You OverEdit
- Harry Wentworth: [as a zombie] You can't shoot us dead, Richard.
- Becky Vickers: [as a zombie] Because we're already dead.
- Harry: We want to see you, Richard.
- Becky: We want to see you, Richard.
- Harry: We want to see you, Richard.
- Becky: We want to see you.
- Harry: We dug a hole for you, Richard.
- Becky: On the beach. Below the high tide line. Here we come!
- Harry: It's showtime!
- Harry and Becky: Here we come, Richard! Let's go to the beach. We just want you to come to the beach. Come with us. Come down to the beach.
- Harry: If you don't panic... If you can hold your breath...
- Becky: If you can hold your breath... If you can hold your breath...
- Harry and Becky: If you can hold your breath...
- Richard Vickers: I... CAN HOLD MY BREATH... FOR A LOOOONG TIME, HAHAHAHA!!!
- [Wilma Northrup is talking to her husband Henry, unaware that she is sitting right behind a crate that contains a beast named Fluffy]
- Wilma Northrup: Oh, that was great, Henry. That was just great! You think this is a Friday night fight? Is that what you think?! You wanna see some real punching?!! Same old Henry. Afraid of your own shadow. You know what, Henry? You're a regular barnyard exhibit. Sheep's eyes, chicken guts, piggy friends... and shit for brains! No good at departmental politics. No good at making money! No good at making an impression on anybody! And no good at all in bed!! When was the last time you got it up, Henry? Huh?! When was the last time you were a man in our bed?! Now get out of my way, Henry, or I swear to God you'll be wearing your balls for earrings! And I swear to God if you ever touch me again, I'm gonna..! [The crate suddenly bursts open and the monster pops out, growling violently at Henry and Wilma. Henry looks surprised while Wilma turns around, looks at the monster and screams. The monster grabs her by the arms and starts eating her.]
- Henry Northrup: Whoa, just... just tell it... to call you Billie... [reluctantly turns around and runs away]
They're Creeping Up on You!Edit
- Upson Pratt: Talk to me. Who's there?
- Mr. White: Good evening there, Mr. Pratt. Got bugs again, huh, Mr. Pratt?
- Upson: Don't you talk to me like that, you hear?!
- White: What way, Mr. Pratt?
- Upson: Like I was crazy!
- White: Oh, no, sir, Mr. Pratt, sir. I don't think you is crazy; not at all. I was just trying to run down in my mind who might have a 24-hour fumigating service. I might be able to get the Pirelli brothers out here by... shall we say 11:30?
- Upson: You might go far, White. I noticed that, in service jobs, people like yourself often do, people of color. Yes; 11:30 would be fine.
- White: Thanks, Mr. Pratt, sir. I'll call them just as soon as I finish with that shower on 23.
- Upson: Do it first! Do it now!
- White: Yes, sir. Right now.
- Stan: [last words] No ... No...
- Billy: [jabbing a voodoo doll with a pin, causing Stan pain] I'll teach you to throw away my comic books. Ready for another shot, dad?