The Boondocks (comic strip)
The Boondocks was a daily syndicated comic strip written and originally drawn by Aaron McGruder. Created by McGruder in 1997 for The Diamondback, the student newspaper at the University of Maryland, College Park, the comic strip was picked up by the Universal Press Syndicate in 1999 and made its national debut on April 19 of that year.
- Huey: Riley, we're not in Chicago anymore... These people are well-off... comfortable. These are not the hard streets of the South Side, Chicago. Do you understand what I'm trying to say?
- Riley: I think so. I'm the hardest, baddest thing for miles, and I can run amok here without fear.
- Huey: No. Let me try this again...
- Huey: Oppressors, run and hide! Fear the arrival of the righteous! I, Huey Freeman, represent your darkest fear!
I am a black freedom fighter! My knowledge of self shines boldly in the face of the beast!
Your seething hatred will not-
- Elderly woman: Aren’t you the cutest thing…
Just a big ole cutie pie, that’s what you are. Young man, you are so adorable I would love to just take you home with me.
- Huey: I bet you would…
Maybe have me sitting around your house being docile like a bad 80’s sitcom, huh? Do I look like Gary Coleman or Emmanuel Lewis to you? Am I supposed to use cute little slang and be your little black stuffed doll?
Well, this is one black man who will not be demasculinized. I’m nobody’s pet negro, is that understood?
- Elderly woman: What was that sweetie? My hearing isn’t what it used to be…
- Huey: Oh never mind…
- Huey: Ok Jazmine, if you're not Black, then what are you, Hmmm?
- Jazmine: Well, let's see... My mother is one-quarter Irish, one-quarter Swedish, and one-half German. And my grandmother on my father's side is part Cherokee, and my grandfather is mostly French, I think, because he's originally from Louisiana, and his father was from Haiti, I believe, which makes me...
- Huey: Which makes you as black as Richard Roundtree in Shaft in Africa.
- Jazmine: IT DOES NOT!! And who is Richard Roundtree?"
- Huey: Riley, from now on I’m taking personal responsibility for your actions. Here is a list of unacceptable behavior. Commit it to memory.
- Riley: What? Negro, please…
“No disrespecting authority.” Man, last year you attacked the principal with three different styles of kung-fu!
- Huey: Um. That was different. He was ‘’’unjust’’’ authority.
- Riley: “No graffiti.” So you’re tryin’ to stifle my cultural expression?
- Huey: No. Uh, that should read “no graffiti without artistic merit.
- Riley: “No stealing”? Don’t you always say theft in America is justified because the whole country is stolen land?
- Huey: Yeah, I sure do.
Well. I quit. Can you at least try to stay out of jail?
- Riley: I’m not makin’ any promises…
- Thomas Dubois: Listen Huey, you have to try to understand how sensitive Jazmine is about her hair.
She sees her mother’s hair and she doesn’t understand why her hair doesn’t look the same way. My wife doesn’t have a clue what to do with it, and neither do I.
Meanwhile, we’ve tried everything to straighten it. Every hair-relaxer ever made. Nothing works…
- Huey: Have you tried emphasizing the natural beauty of her African features?
- Thomas Dubois: …or how about lye? You know, burn her hair straight, like the old days, that might work…
- Granddad: Huey? Come on in, boy. It’s getting late.
- Huey: Can’t granddad. I’m still on Klan Watch.
The Klan doesn’t sleep, so neither do I. Go on to bed, granddad…
And sleep well knowing that Huey Freeman is at his post.
- Granddad: Boy, you’re about to have a lot more than the Klan to worry about!
- Huey: What?! The New World Order!!??
- Granddad: No, my belt! Now get inside!
- Riley: I just can't imagine what life must have been like for granddad growing up without the net.
How did kids meet and talk to complete strangers when he was young?
- Huey: See, granddad – I need home schooling. There’s so much that I want to learn that no American school will ever teach me.
- Granddad: Like what?
- Huey: Like how to overthrow an imperialist capitalist regime and replace it with a socialist system which recognizes and protects the collective good against personal avarice.
- Granddad: And I’m supposed to teach you that?
- Huey: Hey, I know you used to be a radical – I’ve seen the pictures.
- Grandad: (Sigh) You own one dashiki thirty years ago and nobody lets you forget.
- Granddad: Now, just calm down, boy. You’re overreacting.
- Huey: Overreacting?!
These people named an elementary school after J. Edgar Hoover and I’m overreacting? Am I the only person who’s heard of “COINTELPRO”? I mean, why Hoover? Why not, oh, Strom Thurmond? Or George Wallace. Huh?!
- Granddad: I think they named the middle school after George Wallace…
- Huey: WHAT?!
- Granddad: That was a joke, boy. Loosen up already.
- Huey: I hate this place.
- Principal: Huey, this is Mr. Petto – your new teacher.
- Mr. Petto: Uh – nice to meet you, Huey.
- Huey: Mr. Petto -
Public educational facilities such as this are the cornerstone of the institutionalized racism that continues to oppress black people. Not only will I refuse to succumb to your brainwashing – I will dedicate myself to the eventual elimination of this abomination to the high pursuit of learning.
- Mr. Petto: I quit, effective immediately.
- Principal: Nonsense! Looks like it’s going to be a great year! Have fun, boys!
- Jar Jar Binks: Good morning, brothers and sisters, I am the Gungan formerly known as Jar Jar Binks.
Welcome to a new and very different “Wacky Fun With Jar Jar Binks.”I ain’t shufflin’ no more. It’s revolution time!
Oh yeah! Back when I was blind, deaf and dumb, I used to speak ignorantly for the man. Act like a buffoon for the man and degrade myself and my people for the man. Why I remember when George Lucasmade me and Ahmed Best shine the shoes of the entire cast and crew of “The Phantom Menace” Well, those days are long gone, brothers and sisters!
I’ve been reading “The Autobiography of Malcolm X”, “The Wretched of the Earth” by Frantz Fanon, and that new comic strip “The Boondocks,” and I’ve gained a true knowledge of self.
From now on, I shall be called Jabari Jabari Binko!!
Come back next week, kids, when I’ll be discussing the forced redistribution of George Lucas’ wealth and the joys of socialism.
Stay strong, brothers and sisters. All power to the people!
- …um, this may not have been the best idea. – Editor
- Sarah: Honey, we bought this house on the corner of Gurgling Brook and Blushing Dove, right?
- Tom: Of course, why?
- Sarah: Because now it's on the corner of Wu-Tang Drive and Buckshot Avenue.
- Tom: Huey or Riley?
- Sarah: Riley. Will you talk to him, or should I fill out a change-of-address form?
- Mr. Petto: So if I understand correctly, you do not have your textbook with you, Huey?
- Huey: Correct.
- Mr. Petto: Because you felt there were other texts that deserved priority in your bookbag?
- Huey: Correct.
- Mr. Petto: Texts like Shabazz K. Jenkins, “How to tell if your teacher is brainwashing you with Eurocentrism”?
- Huey: Given your stirring tribute to Christopher Columbus last month, I believe I made the right call.
- [Riley is writing a letter to Santa.]
- Dear Santa,
You don’t know me and I don’t know you. I ain’t the type to be believin’ no fairy tales and sweatin’ some fat dude at the mall. But when it comes to my cheddar, I don’t take chances.
See I don’t know if you exist or not. But if you do and you been hittin’ all those other off, but failed to bless esco- we got beef, kid, word!
Fortunately for you I know two words that save ya life, son…
Platinum jewelry (and put some ice on that)
signed, Riley Esco
- Tom Dubois: Here!!! Are you happy?!! My wife and daughter made this shirt, so now I’m doomed to wear it. Congratulations, Huey, you have officially ruined my Christmas. For the past three hours I have listened to endless talk about political prisoners and the world’s injustice. Thank you very much!!!
- Huey: I didn’t mean to –
- Thomas Dubois: I often wonder – is there anyplace or anything that has been left unscarred by the cynics and the purveyors of bitterness, anger and despair? Does there exist, anywhere, an unadulterated land of childhood fantasy and imagination? Is there no innocence left in the world??!!
- Huey: How about the funnies?
- Thomas Dubois: Please…
- Hello and a hearty salute to Bob Johnson and BET, who recently proclaimed that BET does more to serve the Black community each and every day than the creator of this feature - one "playa hating" Aaron McGruder - has done his entire life. In order to follow the fine example set by Mr. Johnson, we present to you, the reader, in the spirit of Black uplift - <bt> a black woman's gyrating rear end.
- [shows a drawing of a woman's ass]
- Reporter: More controversy surrounding Bob Jones University today – the school whose ban on interracial dating drew criticism to the bush campaign when he spoke there weeks ago.
Today presidential hopeful Alan Keyes was beaten by Bob Jones University security as he arrived to speak at the school. It seems a white female aide was mistaken for a girlfriend.
- Alan Keyes: It was my fault. I should have been more careful. I feel much better! Really!! End affirmative action!!
- Reporter: University officials refused to apologize for the beating, saying “Hey it looked to us like he was violating God’s will by dating a white lady. Better safe than sorry.”
Keyes returned to give his speech after agreeing to “keep his distance from the white women” and keep “eyeballing” to a minimum.
- Huey: I'm sick of women singing about broke men, sick of men singing about loose women, sick of award shows, sick of name-brand clothes... From this moment on, I stand as the antithesis of Black popular culture!! I am the Anti-Cool! I hereby declare myself... A NERD!
- Riley: Word?! You? A Nerd?! Speaking of shockers, I just found out that Wesley Snipes is Black! Really! So is Isaac Hayes! And Ray Charles still can't see!! Can you believe it? Oh yeah, and I hear Bill Clinton really loves the ladies.
- Huey': OK, don't press your luck!
- Thomas Dubois: Hey, what’s new Mr. Freeman?
- Granddad: Seen Huey?
- Thomas Dubois: Not today, why?
- Granddad: I’m worried about him, he’s been kinda upset recently.
- Thomas Dubois: Can I ask you a question?
- Granddad: Yeah…
- Thoams Dubois: How the heck can you tell when he’s “kinda” upset?
- Michael Caesar: So is theft a problem around here?
- Huey: Here?! Yeah, right…
These are the privileged, upper-class bourgeois…the exploiters of the poor. They don’t need to steal- they control the system!
- Michael Caesar: I see…
I was just wondering who was trying to steal the rims off my big wheel.
- Huey: Riley!!
- Riley: Granddad, are you fully down with helping me fulfill my career aspirations?
- Granddad: Depends on the aspirations…
- Riley: Do you know that telecommunications is the wave of the future?
- Granddad: Good thing I’m from the old school…
- Riley: I heard that a black man invented the cellular phone, did you know that?
- Granddad: A black man invented the rocket catapult, too – don’t mean you’ll have one anytime soon…
- Huey: There’s too much prosperity – that’s the problem…
A good economy distracts the masses – lulls them into a false sense of freedom.
We need a blatantly cruel and senseless economy to stir the wrath of the people…
Never thought I’d say this, but we need a Bush back in office.
- Huey: I know…I know you’re not serious.
- Riley: Did I stutter? I said the N-R-A.
- Huey: You idiot!! You’re not even nine years old and you don’t own a gun!!
- Riley: And much like myself, my boys at the NRA were very upset at this fact!!
- NRA letter: Thank you for your interest in the National Rifle Association. As you already know, we strive constantly to safeguard the Second Amendment freedoms of American citizens…The National Rifle Association is made up of hard-working American citizens just like yourself – from all walks of life and all ages.
These men and women could be your teacher, or your doctor, or your pastor. They are decent, peaceful, law-abiding citizens of this great land…
and they have all sworn to blast the living heck out of any local, state or federal authority who attempts to restrict their constitutionally protected right to bear arms.
- Riley: Wow, I thought I was hard-core.
- Riley: Yo, Huey, look at this! You talk about how bad the NRA is, well check out who’s down…
It’s that Moses guy from that movie –
- Huey: First of all, Moses isn’t just a character in a movie, second, he wasn’t white, third …
I’ll check the old testament, but I’m pretty sure Moses wasn’t packin’ heat.
- Huey: It’s not the guns that bother me. I believe in the right to bear arms –
- Caesar: Right…
- Huey: It’s the frightening ideologies behind the guns that worry me. I say, let’s keep the guns …
- Caesar: True…
- Huey: And let’s ban the conservative, imperialist, capitalist oppressors who make the world such a violent place!
Think about it! We get rid of them, and we don’t ‘’’need’’’ the guns anymore!!
- Caesar: You think they say the same thing about us?
- Caesar: Hey man, are you ok?
- Huey: A friend of mine back home just died...I never got to say goodbye, you know? I keep wishing he'll come back as a blue ghost, like Obi-Wan Kenobi. There's so much I want to say to him. [sigh] Why can't life be like Star Wars?
- Caesar: Well, then Jar-Jar Binks would be real, and there'd be a bunch of Ewoks running around everywhere - nobody wants that.
- Huey: A small price to pay if the people you love could come back as blue ghosts.
- Granddad: These dummies just ain’t using their brains, boy!! How hard is it to get these fools to think? Is that too much to ask?
- Huey: What is it granddad>
- Granddad: These dummies runnin around screaming about reparations for slavery. I tell ya, it don’t make no sense.
- Huey: Interesting…you don’t think they’re deserved?
- Granddad: Deserved ain’t got nothing to do with it. It ain’t never gonna happen. What are the odds of white folk’s ever giving us reparations?
- Huey: Slim, but what are the odds of you ever winning that lottery you’ve played every week for the last two decades?
- Granddad: You know boy… I don’t recall ever asking you to think…
- Huey: How thoughtless of me –
- Huey: Hip-hop is no longer an effective tool to bring knowledge to the black masses. The revolution must turn to the more traditional print media.
I’m going to start a newsletter or newspaper that will bring the light of truth to the diaspora! Unadulterated by capitalist blood money, it will be a new weapon in the fight against the system that mentally enslaves our people!
- Caesar: Kind of like “The Final Call”?
- Huey: Sorta, without the religious affiliation or high journalistic standards.
- Riley: Man, you’re wasting your time. I couldn’t care less about these guys – they’re all the same to me.
- Huey: Listen, you like guns right?
- Riley: Yeah.
- Huey: Well, G.W. Bush will let you carry guns anywhere you want – work, school, church, wherever.
- Riley: Word?!
- Huey: He’ll also install electric chairs in every courtroom and jail cells for no-wait executions.
- Riley: Whoa…this political $#!% aint’s no joke!!
- Huey: Ok, now thisguy is Ralph Nader. If he wins, he’ll decriminalize drugs.
- Riley: Are you serious?!!
You mean, I could be a drug kingpin like Scarface, but I won’t ever have to worry about going to jail?!! He’s the man!!
- Huey: Of course, you realize government regulation and distribution of narcotics would instantly destroy their monetary value. There would be no more drug kingpins.
- Riley: Aw man…he’s hatin’ on the game? Get him out of here!!
- Thomas Dubois: So…we started arguing about Nader, and I called her a hussy and a floozy, and I think “electoral harlot” – something like that. I’m such an idiot…
Anyway, that’s when she threw me out and told me not to come back until I learned some respect.
- Huey: You wouldn’t be leaving out the part where she beat you like you stole something, would you?
- Thomas Dubois: It was a lucky punch!!
- Granddad: Ok, boys. Mr. Dubois will be staying with us for a couple of days while he works out some family issues. <br? He’s your elder, and you will show him respect, no more jokes, any questions?
- Riley: Yeah, you ever been kicked out your own house by a woman, granddad?
- Grandad: What?! Hell no, boy. I’m a man – shoot.
- Thomas Dubois: sigh…
- Huey: I don’t get this whole thing with video games.
- Riley: What, you mean why you keep losing?
- Huey: No, everyone is worried about kids and violence, right? And kids using guns – so why don’t they go after the gun manufacturers and gun dealers instead of people who make video games, it doesn’t make sense.
- Riley: Sure it does, pretend your some stupid parents activist person…
Who would you rather start a beef with – some nerd who makes video games, or some dude with a warehouse full of AK-47s?
- Huey: You know – I’m actually much more impressed by that point than I care to admit.
- Riley: Of course, I’m deep, just don’t tell nobody.
- Riley: See, Huey, I don’t need any dirt on Santa to blackmail him. I just need to be vague enough to make him think I’ve got some dirt. Check this out.
- Dear Santa, I know all about the reindeer, the money and the “elf incident.”
I’ve got pictures.
A Playstation 2 or I tell Mrs. Claus.
- ’Huey: Brilliant. Can’t believe I didn’t think of it first.
- Riley: How does it feel not to be the smart one anymore?
- Thomas Dubois: Happy new year Huey!
- Huey: Well, I know none of the negroes in this house care, but it’s also the last day of Kwanzaa.
Today is the day of assessment – a day when Africans somberly meditate on things done and things yet to do. But I guess I’m the only one concerned about reconnecting with his African culture. So never mind…
- Thomas Dubois: But I was just watchin’ CNN and I saw some Africans getting’ their New Year’s party on…
- Huey: Well, tell ‘em Ron Karenga said they wrong!!
- Thomas Dubois: Y’know, I think part of the problem with Kwanzaa is it kinda perpetuates this fallacy of a monolithic “African Culture”
- Huey: Hmm…expound…
- Thomas Dubois: The intent is good, but the holiday ignores the variety and diversity of African cultures in favor of something oversimplified…even…generic.
- Huey: Interesting, I think I can consider that a fair critique.
- Thomas Dubois: And what’s with the candles? What is this, some kinda low-budget Hanukkah?
- Huey: All right, all right! I get the point!
- Huey: Still researching an alias?
- Riley: Yep.
- Huey: I imagine you’ve read about every single Third World dictator, mob boss, drug lord and terrorist who ever lived?
- Riley: Yep
- Huey: Isn’t it ironic that you have to do research even as you strive for the depths of ignorance?
- Riley: Ironic, that you’re talking but I’m not actually listening to you.
- Thomas Dubois: Oh, Sarah, I’m so glad we had this talk.
- Sarah Dubois: Me too.
- Thomas Dubois: I totally overreacted to this whole thing. I thought you had become one of these lunatic, socialist, vegetarian, militant – psychopaths.
- Huey’: Hello?! I’m still here, you know!!
- Thomas Dubois: Ooops! Sorry, Huey.
- Huey: So Dr. Dre sues Napster for copyright violation, even as he is getting sued by George Lucas for copyright violation.
And while he s quick to sue others, Lucas seems to have “borrowed” James Gurney’s “Dinotopia” artwork and concepts for “Star Wars: Episode I”.
- Caesar: Hmm…
- Huey: You know what I think? I think all art belongs to the masses! The greed and hypocrisy must end!
- The opinions expressed by Aaron McGruder are not necessarily those of Aaron McGruder. All images are (copyright symbol) Aaron McGruder, 2001. Any unauthorized reproduction will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.
This comic contains numerous references to the DeCSS code used to bypass the Content Scrambling System of DVD’s, which, by order of Judge Lewis Kapalan, is illegal to reproduce in any way. We apologize for the inconvenience, but speech that damages the profits of our corporate friends is NOT protected by the first Amendment. Thank you.
- Huey: Mr. Petto, I have a question.
- Mr. Petto: Yes.
- Huey: Why is it perfectly legal to post a diagram of how to build a bomb on the net, but you can’t post a code that descrambles DVDs?
We just didn’t like where he’s going with this.
- Huey: Days like this, I look out at all the snow and think. Man, this is beautiful…
Then I wonder – is it really beautiful, or have we just been conditioned to think of everything “white” as beautiful? Is my mind, perhaps, not as liberated from the slave mentality as I thought?
Then I think, what if snow were brown? Would I find it as nice to look at, or would it look “dirty”> Is this indicative that somewhere within my subconscious lurks some heretofore undiscovered self-hate?
- Huey: Days like this, I look out at all the snow and think. Man, this is beautiful…
Then I wonder – is it really beautiful, or have we just been conditioned to think of everything “white” as beautiful? Is my mind, perhaps, not as liberated from the slave mentality as I thought?
Then I think, what if snow were brown? Would I find it as nice to look at, or would it look “dirty”? Is this indicative that somewhere within my subconscious lurks some heretofore undiscovered self-hate?
- Caesar: I don’t know how much an hour of therapy costs, but I think that’s gonna be your Christmas gift from me.
- Huey: I wonder how Farrakhan feels about snow…
- Caesar: You’re insane!!! Tobogganning is not an extreme sport!
- Huey: It most certainly is.
and like skydiving and bungee jumping, it’s strictly for crazy, white suburbanites whose lives are so comfortable they have to make up new ways to kill themselves just to get an adrenaline rush – no thank you. Reckless suicides are counterrevolutionary.
- Caesar: This has nothing to do with the revolution – you’re just scared!!!
- Huey: Uh-huh … I bet the Bush regime would just love for me to bust my head against that tree right there – but it ain’t gonna happen!!
- Granddad: If you’re still not feeling well tomorrow, we’ll go see a doctor.
- Huey: I’d rather not.
Western medicine is too corrupted by capitalism. The goal of making money supersedes the goal of wellness – most doctors and pharmaceutical companies do not have our best interests at heart. I’d prefer a more reliable source of information.
- Granddad: Like what, the internet?
- Huey: I’m starting with everythingwillkillyou.com
- TV News: Addressing a crowd of supporters in Texas today, president Bush continued to stress his limits on Stem-Cell research and human cloning.
“Technology is charging forward at a frightening speed, and we must steady it’s pace with the reins of humanity.”
There are many exciting things this Brave New World opens up, for example: giant, two-headed mutant soldiers with four or more arms. Soldiers that could save countless American lives on the battlefield.”
But could I reconcile the ethical and moral dilemmas such super-commandos would present? Probably not-"
- TV News: Senator Trent Lott reiterated the critical need for genetically enhanced super-commandos with multiple heads and appendages, saying "I'm confident the president will do right by America's armed forces." Meanwhile, the Japanese government announced that it was already well on its way to creating a three-headed soldier with wings and cybernetically implanted machine guns. They are promising to pour millions into further human cloning projects with the hope of "Making real life more like our really, really cool cartoons."
- Huey: Hello? Is this the FBI’s anonymous terrorism tip line?
- FBI: That’s correct, Mr. Freeman. What have you got for us?
- Huey: Anonymous?!
- FBI: Oh, spare me the surprised indignation, Huey. You know we’ve been tapping your phone for years. Watcha got?
- [Huey squeals to the Feds’ terrorism hotline -]
- Huey: Why do you keep hanging up on me? I’m telling you the truth!
The CIA trained Osama Bin Laden in using terrorism against the soviets during the Reagan-Bush administration they gave the Afghanistan rebels countless amounts of covert funding!
- FBI’: Don’t you have better things to be doing?
- Huey: Better than fighting terrorism? Heck no! We’re at war!!
- Huey: Hello, Jeb? I’m sorry to bother you at home, but I had a nightmare last night that someone who looked kinda like your daughter broke into my house and stole our television so she could feed her crack addiction.
But then I remembered that you had the courage to speak out against an initiative to provide treatment instead of incarceration for addicts arrested on drug possession charges.
I just wanted you to know how glad I am that someone has the courage to stop making excuses for the criminals and make things safe for decent law-abiding –
- Huey helps the FBI wage war on terrorism
- Huey: Wait, before you hang up. I have one more important tip!
G.W. Bush gave the Taliban government $4.3 million this May! This May!! How much of that money will be spent on weaponry that will be used against U.S. soldiers?
- FBI: Wow – I didn’t know that …
- Huey: He lives at 1600 Pennsylvania – hey, are you writing this down? And I suggest bringing really tight handcuffs.
- Editor’s Note
Due to the inappropriate political content of this feature in recent weeks, it is being replaced by “The Adventures of Flagee and Ribbon,” which we hope will help children understand the complexities of current events.
United We Stand.
- Ribbon: Hey, Flagee. There’s a lot of evil out there.
- Flagee: That’s right, Ribbon. Good thing America kicks a lot of *@#!
- HEY, KIDS!! Get your very own official FLAGEE AND RIBBON ACTION FIGURES!! Just $19.95 plus $4.95 shipping. Order today – operators are standing by!
Some percentage of the proceeds to be donated to somebody.
- Editor’s Note
Despite the tremendous reader response to “The Adventures of Flagee and Ribbon,” we have decided to bring back “The Boondocks” on a probationary basis. However, should material be deemed inappropriate, we are prepared to bring back “Flagee and Ribbon” at a moment’s notice.
United We Stand.
- Huey: Mr. Petto, how come nobody is talking about the ways that Bush’s big-oil compadres will benefit from this “war on terrorism”?
- Ribbon: Hey, flagee, can we sing “the star-spangled banner” again?
- Flagee: Of course, Ribbon. It’s our national anthem!
- Granddad: How you feelin’ this morning boy?
- Huey’: Not bad.
- News: The FBI would like to remind the public, yet again that massive death and destruction are imminent at an unknown time and place.
Have a great day.
- Granddad: It’s not too late to change your answer.
- Huey: That’s good…
- [Huey is leading Thanksgiving grace.]
- Huey: Ahem. In this time of war against Osama bin Laden and the oppressive Taliban regime, we are thankful that OUR leader isn't the spoiled son of a powerful politician from a wealthy oil family who is supported by religious fundamentalists, operates through clandestine organizations, has no respect for the democratic electoral process, bombs innocents, and uses war to deny people their civil liberties. Amen.
- Robert: This is the last time you say grace, boy.
- Huey: I as thinkin’ let’s say – hypothetically – Santa can actually go to every house on the planet in one night…
He uses that power to give kids a bunch of junk they don’t need! He could deliver food every day to starving kids! Drop off medicine to underdeveloped countries!
- Caesar: I never thought of it like that.
- Huey: Santa just made the hate book!!
- Huey: …and what I’m saying is that America’s whole Mideast policy is –
- Granddad: Boy?
- Huey: yes?
- Granddad: It’s Christmas.
- Huey: So?
- Granddad: So please get in the spirit of the holiday and give the anti-war stuff a rest, sheesh…
- Huey: For the new year, I’ve resolved to love and embrace all human beings.
Of course, part of showing love is whuppin’ someone’s rear end when they need it.
- Caesar: That’s a touching sentiment.
- Huey: It’ll hurt me more than it hurts them.
- Attention Concerned parents:
Today’s episode features Granddad demonstrating responsible parenting, playing the controversial video game “Grand Theft Auto 3” to answer any questions he may have and to reinforce the difference between appropriate and inappropriate behavior. We suggest all those with young children take note.
- Granddad: Good aim boy! But remember that in real life, it’s very, very wrong to throw a grenade at an ambulance.
- Riley: Yes, Grandad.
- FBI: FBI terrorism tip line.
- Huey: It’s Huey again. Got another hot lead on a terrorist.
- FBI: Lord…Huey, we don’t have time for this. I’m hanging up.
- Huey: Wait! I got a good one this time!
- FBI: (sigh) .. (Uh-huh…
- Huey: Kissinger, Henry, Former secretary of state under Nixon, allegedly responsible for the deaths of about 950,000 civilians in Laos and Cambodia in the early 1970s.
if you’re having trouble finding him, ask the guys who gave him the Nobel peace prize.
- Riley: Why do you spend all day working on that book when you don’t get paid for it?
- Huey: So that I leave something for the world that will outlast my short time here.
- Riley: Why don’t I ever understand anything you say?
- Huey: Because I don’t have a platinum chain around my neck. Now shoo…
- Huey: I know it’s old news, but something has always bothered me about this whole “shoe bomber” thing –
- Caesar: And that would be?
- Huey: So this guy was thwarted trying to light a match. Right?
- Caesar: Yeah…
- Huey: So he fit explosives in one shoe – he couldn’t fit a lighter in the other?
- Riley: Huey, do you ever have nightmares?
- Huey: Yes.
Sometimes I’m afraid I’ll become a political prisoner of the Bush administration – jailed for life – my only crime the struggle for justice.
- Riley: Okay, but – nothing as bad as my dream of growing old without ever owning a set of 22- rims, right?
- Huey: No, of course not.
- Huey:Riley, I know you want to live like these videos on B.E.T. – with all the cars and women and yachts and all that…
But nobody actually lives like that, Riley.
- Riley: Really?! Nobody?!
- Huey: Nobody.
- Riley: Nobody?!
- Huey: Okay, maybe Hugh Hefner, some arab shieks, a handful of NBA players and Wesley Snipes, but that’s it!
- Huey: Granddad, due to the bizarre instance of Condoleezza Rice receiving an NAACP image award, we have reason to believe Kweisi Mfume may have been covertly cloned and replaced with an evil twin…
Or, we think they may have kidnapped one of his relatives and suspended them over a vat of boiling acid. Either way, we want to go investigate. Can we get a ride to Baltimore?
- Granddad: No.
- Huey: You know, this revolution would move a lot faster if we could drive.
- Caesar: Not to change subjects, but … why are all the cookies on your side of the table?
- Caesar: The Bush administration is accusing Zimbabwe’s president of rigging the election over there…
I wonder if this is what they mean when they say political satire is dead.
- Huey: I’m going to go vomit.
- Caesar: Huey, why are you worried about dying young? It doesn’t make any sense.
- Huey: Sure it does…
We have an underground newspaper and a web site that puts out the truth that the powers that be don’t want the people to hear. We must be prepared for the worst!
- Caesar: We have eleven readers!!
- Huey: That’s eleven more than they want us to have…
- Cosplayer: People think I’m stupid for sitting in front of the theater for weeks waiting for “Episode 2” when “Episode 1” was so terrible. But I say, what happened to loyalty?
Let’s say your home team never wins a game. Is it stupid to continue to support them?
- Huey: Possibly, I don’t really follow sports.
- Cosplayer: Well, then how about politics? Is everyone who voted for Al Gore stupid if they keep supporting the democratic –
- Huey: Yes.
- Huey: I’m telling you – free speech is a myth! A fantasy! All of the ugly truths in this society are hidden from the public.
- Caesar: But you speak out against the government all the time.
- Huey: That’s nothing – acceptable dissent is not considered a threat to the power structure, besides, it’s not just the government that suppresses information – it’s the media conglomerates – the monopolies who control nearly everything we see, hear and read in mass media…
And here’s how they do it. Bribes to government officials, illegal business dealing. I’ve researched the evidence to prove how less than a dozen men have acquired a stranglehold on communication and information, and nothing can stop me from telling the world. Wanna hear?
- Caesar: Absolutely!
- Hey Caesar – that George W. Bush sure is stupid!
- Caesar: Fascinating…
- Caesar: If you were president what would be the first thing you’d do?
- Huey: You mean after my untimely passing during the inauguration ceremony?
- Caesar: …But what I really don’t get is synchronized dancing in videos, are we really to believe that Usher has half a dozen people following him everywhere he goes, dancing exactly like he does? And if so, why would he want anyone to think that? It looks ridiculous?
And is it possible that Tricky Daddy isn’t just in it for the money, but is actually a serious artist who can’t help but express his innermost feelings through the universal language of music? What do you think?
And speaking of music…do you think rappers like [[w:Ludacris (rapper)]Ludacris]] are at all concerned that their names may create the false perception that they can’t spell?
- Huey: I think when our conversations become this inane, it’s actually time to go back to school…
- Huey: My horoscope is a little strange today.
- Caesar: What’s it say?
- Huey: “You will continue to fight a losing battle against the corrupt corporate and government powers-that-be. Regardless of how loudly you shout the truth from the mountaintop, your words will be dismissed as the rantings of paranoid, leftist, anti-American, radical, loony, find a hobby.”
- Caesar: Whoa…what’s mine say?
- Huey: It say’s “Despite your charm and youthful exuberance, neither Beyonce Knowles nor anyone who looks like Beyonce Knowles will fall madly in love with you today.”
- Caesar: That’s all I needed to know. I’m goin back to bed.
- Caesar: Whoa, some people in other countries are comparing Bush to Adolf Hitler because of his warmongering.
- Huey: That’s preposterous, even I would never compare Bush to Hitler…
I mean, Hitler was democratically elected, wasn’t he?
- Huey: So colonel, you guys aren’t dropping food anymore? What happened to all that concern about the starving Afghan people?
- Pentagon:Yeah, well…they’re not, uh, starving anymore.
- Huey: Is that right?
- Pentagon: Yep. They told us they’re all full now. Couldn’t eat another bite.
- Huey: Amazing, I wonder what was in those food packets.
- Pentagon: Well, that’s classified but…let’s just say a snickers really satisfies…
- Flagee: You see, Ribbon. We have to stop Iraq because they might develop weapons of mass destruction!
- Ribbon: Gee whillikers. Flagee, I’m confused!
- Ribbon: The Reagan/Bush administration helped Hussein plan and execute chemical weapon attacks against Iran in the '80s!
- Flagee: Where did you read that leftist conspiracy madness, ribbon?
- Ribbon: The New York Times.
- Flagee: Well, from now on, only Fox News for you!!
[Huey is writing a letter to the president]
- Dear Mr. “President,”
I am writing in the hopes of convincing you that war is not the solution to America’s problems.
- Caesar: Remember, the key to communicating with Dubya is to keep it simple. Get your point across in a way he’ll understand.
- First of all, the administration on "The West Wing" would never EVER do what you're about to do. :Caesar: Excellent start! Now we're getting somewhere!
- [[Huey composes a plea for peace…]
- And so, Mr. “President,” there are many reasons to avoid war. First is to avoid massive loss of life.
- Caesar: Good…
- Second, to avoid antagonizing the international community, most of whom oppose war…
- Caesar: Logical, sincere, very good…
- Third, to repair the long and intimate friendship your father had with Saddam Hussein during the Iran/Iraq war-
- Caesar: Easy! You’re going cynical! Watch it!
- Huey: Okay, horoscopes – let’s see… here I am…
- Caesar: What’s it say?
- Huey: “Your efforts to deliver the world from the corrupt grasp of those in power will only leave you a broken and bitter individual. Incapable of seeing the beauty and joy’s of life.
“And while your paranoia does not necessarily mean they aren’t out to get you, finding hobbies separate and apart from leftist radicalism will significantly improve your interactions with friends and family."
- Caesar: Weird how accurate these things can be sometimes, huh?
- Huey’: What do you mean?
- Huey: Who cares about what Hip-Hop is supposed to be? I’m talking about what it is. Most of rap music is violent and stupid, and that ain’t the media’s fault!
- Caesar: But most entertainment across the board is violent. You don’t see people attacking Robert De Niro for being violent in movies!
- Huey: But in movies, everyone acknowledges it’s fake!
Robert De Niro doesn’t kill someone in a movie, then look at the audience and go, “Bobby D. Fool, what?!”
- Caesar: But, man it’d be cool if he did, though, right?
- Huey: Look, rap, for he most part, has been stuck in the “Gangsta Rap” era for over ten years now – mostly because it sells so well to white kids.
But rap doesn’t clearly draw the line between fact and fiction. The whole point seems to be to make people believe that made-up gangster tales are true.
- ’Caesar: Now waitamnute – I know you’re not trying to imply that Ja Rule isn’t really a killer. Me and you ‘bout to fight.
- Huey: Never mind.
[Huey is writing a letter to Al-Qaida]
- Dear Al-Qaida,
Thought you might like to hear my suggestions on how to bring the Western World to humiliating ruin -
Step 1: Flood the United states with as many covert operatives as possible over the next two years.
Step 2: Order them to vote Republican in the 2004 election.
Step 3: Kick feet up and wait for most of world to be destroyed. Claim responsibility.
- Huey: I don't get it. What's the significance of the name change? What's "P.Diddy" supposed to mean?
- Ceasar: Well... what can it rhyme with? "P.Diddy"... Let's see... Witty... Kitty... City... Biddy... Doesn't seem clear.
- Huey: What about sh-
- Ceasar: Stop that.
- Ceasar: I can't believe they still have Ms Cleo on the run. I hope she's ok.
- [The phone rings.]
- Huey: I guess I gotta go get that... [picks up the phone] Hello? This is he... Ok, good... Good... Excellent... Well, thanks for calling.... Take care. [hangs up]
- Huey: She's fine, and she says thanks for asking.
- Ceasar: Cool.
[Huey calls the FBI's terrorism tip line...]
- Huey:: I'm very serious. I know of several Americans who helped train and finance Osama bin Laden.
- Speaker:: And how did you come by this information?
- Huey:: A little investigating. It wasn't that hard, actually.
- Speaker:: Okay, give me some names.
- Huey:: All right, let's see ... the first one is Reagan. That' R-E-A-G ... Hello? Hello?
- Huey:: They always say I'm against the troops. I'm completely for the troops. Why, just last week I sent the president a 50 page "support our troops" resolution giving U.S. Soldiers or their families perpetual revenues from Iraqi Oil.
- Caeser:: I'm going to miss you when they pass "Patriot Act 2"
- [Huey is debating whether or not to see Attack of the Clones
- Huey: See, on the one hand, I'm still mad at that whole Jar Jar Binks Sambo bit in Episode I. On the other hand, we have Sam "Foot to Rear End" Jackson choppin' heads with a purple lightsaber. I just don't know what to do...
- Huey: "And the winner of the "Black Artist Most Likely to Commit a sexual offense involving a twelve-year-old" award is...
- Huey: Y'know, it's bad enough we even have to have this award, but... It's a tie!
- New Slang Alert: Brokeback (adj) - Used to describe anything of questionable masculinity. Believed to have originated from 2005 motion picture: Brokeback Mountain Here's how to use it in daily conversation:
- Granddad: It's not a purse! It's a man-bag! It's very manly!
- Riley: I don't know, Granddad... looks kinda Brokeback to me...
- Huey: Give me news of hope, Ceasar. Tell me of the leaders who dare to stand against the grave dangers faced by this world. I crave inspiration.
- Ceasar: Says here Al Sharpton is protesting a cartoon for using the N-word."
- Huey: I'm going back to bed.
- TV News:...And today in sports, a black man somewhere ran with a ball and jumped with a ball and threw a ball and people got really excited as if they hadn't seen it a million times before... ...Next, we'll pretend like we can predict the weather...
- Huey:: I definitely don't hear the same news as other people.
[Huey is writing a review of The Matrix Reloaded]
- It's important to note that not all moviegoers have been kind to the Matrix sequel. Many have complained that the movie is confusing, and I would have to agree. With so many black people in the movie, it was impossible to predict who would die first.
- Ceasar:: You know, people say the best way to make good things happen is to put positive thoughts out into the universe.
- Huey:: [thinking] Queen Latifa versus Ann Coulter in a steel cage deathmatch... Queen Latifah verses Ann Coulter in a steel cage deathmatch...
- Huey:: Mr. Jones, it's Huey. You ready?
- James Earl Jones::Young man, I told you last time this isn't funny. You're going to get us both in trouble.
- Huey:: Last time, I promise. Hold on. [Opens a three-way call]
- George W. Bush:: [Answers the phone] This is Bush.
- Huey:: Mr. President, please hold for Darth Vader.
- James Earl Jones:: [In full Vader voice] President Bush, this is Darth Vader... I wanted to thank you for helping spread Evil throughout the galaxy!
- George W. Bush:: Uh... Thank you, Lord Vader!
- Tom: Huey, why did you tell Jazmine that Santa Claus is on Death Row in Hungary?
- Huey: For the same reason you told her that Santa flies around the world passing out gifts with the help of magical reindeer. I guess we both really enjoy lying to small children.
- Tom: IT'S NOT THE SAME!
- Huey: See, I told you.
- Caesar: I can't believe it.
- Huey: I've known some self-hating black people before, but this takes the cake.
- Caesar: Oooh, we're next... Merry Christmas!
- Uncle Ruckus: I hope you chimpanzees don't have a chimney.
[Huey and Riley are outside. Riley has opened a fire hydrant to cool down. People are staring.]
[Riley is stunned.]
- Caesar: Why are you so quiet?
- Huey: Huh?
- Caesar: You seen the news today? War, corruption... Tyler Perry movies! Why aren't you complaining?
- Huey:: I don't know. I just... don't have anything to say.
[Ceasar stares at Huey before turning to look at the reader. Caesar turns back to Huey.]
- Caesar: WELL, IT'S ABOUT TIME!
About The Boondocks (comic strip)Edit
- Q: You started addressing the terrorist attacks on Sept. 24. You got to it faster than other strip creators. What influenced that?
- A: One, I push my deadlines closer than anybody else, or let's say it this way: I'm really late. The only other cartoonist that would address it head on is Garry Trudeau, and being the better cartoonist, he gets his strips in a couple days earlier than I do ... So I had more time to really think about it. [Also,] I think he didn't want to get into it that week. It was a big debate for me whether or not to do it so soon.
- Q: Do you pull back from ideas that seem too inflammatory or controversial?
- A: Yeah! That's not just now, that's always. ... Especially when you're somebody that likes to talk about the president, there's just so much you can't say, for legal reasons ... You have to be very careful to never threaten the president. There has been only once in the past few weeks that the wording of a strip had to actually be changed for that reason. The editors looked at it ... it was one of the strips where Huey was calling the FBI [terrorist] hotline [to report George W. Bush] and the strip ended with, "Make sure you bring the really tight handcuffs." He was talking about going to the White House. It was originally written as, "Make sure you bring nightsticks." They said, "You know, that's not a good idea." And I said, "You're right."
- Q: You get to address race, class and biracial issues, and the bullshit of politics. How satisfying is it to have a place to vent every day?
- A: It's really satisfying sometimes, and sometimes you just don't have anything to talk about. You're like, "You know what? I'm not passionate about anything this week. I just want to relax." Certainly at a time like this, when you're sort of sitting home screaming at the television, you're like, "Oh wait, I don't have to scream at the television. I actually have a big voice" ... Then it's really, really good.
- Q: How closely do Huey's opinions come to your own?
- A: It would be inaccurate to say that Huey's opinions are my own. I think there's a broad opinion being put out through the strip with a combination of all the characters' voices, and it's really up to the reader to figure out what that is. Beyond that, I don't think the importance of the strip is about my own personal political agenda. I think the strip [challenges] people to think differently, and that to me is far more important than to have people thinking like me -- [I want] to have people questioning what they're told on a daily basis.
- Aaron Mcgruder in “Boondocks Speaks: An Interview with Aaron McGruder“, by By Jennifer A. Carbin, Philadelphia City Paper, AlterNet, (November 4, 2001).
- McGruder doesn't shy away from controversy. After the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks, McGruder drew a series of strips featuring a talking American flag and a yellow ribbon -- and they had very critical things to say about the Patriot Act and the Bush administration. Some newspapers dropped those strips entirely.
- Karen Grigsby Bates, “The Boondocks' Creator Aaron McGruder“, NPR, (October 13, 2003)
- There are two things people really want to know about the cartoonist Aaron McGruder. The first is precisely what he said to Condoleezza Rice, the US Secretary of State, at an awards ceremony three years ago. Rice and McGruder, 32, were both being given an award by the National Association for the Advancement of Coloured People, the oldest civil rights organisation in the country. Beforehand, McGruder had told anyone who would listen that Rice was a mass murderer (it was not long after the invasion of Afghanistan) and that he would have no qualms about telling her so to her face. With McGruder's help, rumours about their subsequent exchange became legend. "I was never as cavalier with her as I sounded," he says now. "I had a brief encounter with her and I knew I had to say something. I said something like: 'I don't want you guys to kill me so I'm just going to mind my own business.' I was eminently aware when I met Condi that she could make my whole family disappear. I have never been fearless. I've always had a healthy fear of this government."
- Aaron McGruder in "Strip Tease" by Gary Younge, The Guardian, (21 Dec 2005).
- I don’t remember what those kids were doing in the first ‘’’Boondocks’’’ comic I saw, but I do remember exactly what passed through my mind when I read it: “How the hell did this get into a daily newspaper?”