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Samurai Jack (season 3)

season of television series
Seasons: 1 2 3 4 5 | Main

The following is a list of quotes from the third season Samurai Jack.

Chicken Jack [3.1]

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Wizard: People... They always keep bumping into me. [shouts] Always!
Man A: He's injured. Bring out the Finisher.
Man B: But, but that's two opponents at once. That's, that's cheating.
Man A: [pause] DOOOO IIIIT!!!!
Man B: It's always me. I always have to get the Finisher. Every time. "Do this, do that. Go get the Finisher." I always have to.

Jack and the Rave [3.2]

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Jack: Who were they?
Man: [crying] The Children...of Aku...
Jack: Aku! Truly his evil has spread to even the youngest of souls.
[Jack prepares to attack a group of vandals]
Man: No! Wait! They're children!
DJ: Welcome, bruthas and sistahs! Can I get a kazam?
Crowd: KAZAM!
DJ: DJ Starbator am once again here to drop upon you all the majestical sounderiffic beats of the Master...
Crowd: [entranced] AKUUUUUU!
DJ: Samurai Jack is in the house! And for public enemy number one, the scratch in Aku's groove. Samurai Wack, let's mix it up with a taste of the bass beats in his face. The brand-new hard-core track... Jack Attack!
Jack: Music maker man, your beats are bad.
DJ: That's right. They're bad.
Jack: Not bad good. Bad bad.
DJ: Whatever.
Jack: Aku's control over these children must stop!
DJ: Aku will never be silenced!
Jack: You have been pawns of Aku's evil, but now you are free. Return to your homes and never dance to this evil beat again.

Couple on a Train [3.3]

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Ezekiel Clench: Josephine? What in tarnation are you doing here?
Josephine Clench: Well, it's nice to see you too, Ezekial.
Ezekiel Clench: Aw, shoot. There ain't never been nothin' nice about you, woman.
Josephine Clench: Now now, let's not get nasty, darlin'.
Ezekiel Clench: Don't call me darlin'.
Josephine Clench: Well, then don't act like a fool! I know what you're up to. You're after the bounty on that samurai.
Ezekiel Clench: And what business is it of yours?
Josephine Clench: I want in.
Ezekiel Clench: Pfft. No.
Josephine Clench: You need me. [Ezekiel walks off] He's better than you!
Ezekiel: [smiling] Ain't no man better than me, woman. You outta know that. Besides, the court says you ain't even supposed to come within 150 feet of me, so back off!
Josephine: Dagnabbit! Can't you shoot straight?
Ezekiel: Don't get uppity, woman. I don't see you makin' no daylight in his broadside.
Jack: Looking for a seat?
Ezekiel: Yup... yours. I'm gonna make a lotta money cashin' in on your hide.
Jack: I hear that often... but only from poor men.
Ezekiel: Hmmm! Well, I've got bills 'ta pay, an' I've done already addressed the envelopes.
Jack: I hope you have yet to stamp the postage on your parcels-
Ezekiel: [sucker-punching Jack] Consider 'em stamped.
[Zeke slams Jack against the engine]
Ezekiel: Good mornin'. You're just in time. I'm fixin ta make me some flapjacks!
Ezekiel: Dagburnit, Josie! You consarn, framalandin', flamdanglin' snake-in-sheep's-wool- over-my-eyes trick-up-her-sleeve whoo-hoo witchy woman!
Josephine Clench: [the Clenches are dangling from a high bridge after their bickering lost them Jack's bounty] Um, Zeke? Sugarplum? Maybe I was a might hasty.
Ezekiel Clench: Court says 150 feet, woman. 150 feet!

Jack and the Zombies [3.4]

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Aku: [shocked the mystical sword didn't kill Jack like how he intended] HOW?! HOW?!
Jack: Even I had forgotten that the sword was forged in purity and strength. It can only be used for good. In the hands of evil, it can never harm an innocent. And so, Aku, it cannot harm me but it can harm you.
Jack: I have a bad feeling about this.
Aku: [with Jack's sword, Aku starts to look around for him] Oh, Samurai? Where are you, Samurai? You can run, but you cannot hide, 'cause I can smell your BLOOD.
Demon: I WILL EAT YOUR SOUL!
Aku: Samurai... Samurai... why won't you [shouting] DIIIIIEEEEEE?!?!?!?!?!
Aku: [as a mouse, in a squeaking voice] I will get you yet, Samurai!

Jack and the Scarab [3.5]

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Jack: Uh, excuse me. Thank you for destroying the Minions of Set. But do you happen to know where there is a time portal? [deity flies away] Guess not.
Jack: It seems... so... familiar... this place...
Aku: Accursed Samurai. You have succeeded again in alluding my effort. But I am not worried for one day, you will fail! [laughs]

Jack and the Traveling Creatures [3.6]

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[Jack encounters a big blue-skinned man guarding the time passage behind him]
Jack: They call me Jack. The creatures of this mystical land have guided me here. Is this the passage through time that I have quested for?
Guardian: Yep.
Jack: I humbly request your permission to use this great power. [the Guardian laughs then stops]
Guardian: Nope.
Jack: Guardian, by what right do you deny me?
Guardian: For countless eons, I have guarded this magical power of time travel. All have been denied, from the mightiest of giants to the tiniest of warriors. You see, samurai, only one man has been prophesied to defeat me. And that man is the only man who can use this time passage. And you, my man, ain't that man. [Jack takes a deep breath and sigh]
Jack: I have hoped that just once I would not have to battle for my goal because it is noble and just. But I see that this is impossible. I must use the power of this time passage, and so, I will defeat you.
Guardian: Ain't gonna happen.
Jack: We shall see. [draws his sword]
Guardian: Ahhh, you goin' all old school on me, huh? Well, I got me one o' those. [draws sword]
Elder: Head north, to the city of Kojima...
Jack: Clever how you people use this beast for travel.
Monk: We do not use him. It his generocity that allows us to cross this lake. Only he can cross it.
Jack: I meant no disrespect.
Monk: He has forever lived in this lake. Seen many things, all knowing and very wise.
Jack: Never before have I faced an opponent with such skill.
Guardian: I told you, man, it ain't gonna happen. Now why don't you leave before you really get hurt.
Jack: Never! I must return to the past!
Guardian: I told you, man. You ain't the one.
Guardian: That was my favorite suit you just ruined!
The Guardian: You can't use it yet, Samurai Jack. Not yet. Not yet.

Jack and the Annoying Creature [3.7]

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Jack: Why do I have this feeling that I am being followed when I know it to not be true? Hmm.
Jack: Crystal of... Cagliostro?

Jack and the Swamp Wizard [3.8]

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Hermit: Who dare to blow my door horn?
Jack: I am called Jack. I am a traveler.
Hermit: Hm. Never heard of you. I'm a hermit, after all.
[the Hermit has all the gems of the Titans and tries to attack Jack, but finds a jewel missing]
Jack: What's the matter? Missing something? Aku.
Jack: Run, you cowardly shadow, for your destruction is at hand. It is only a matter of time.
Aku: Now let us test your enchanted steel against the power of the Titan!

Jack and the Haunted House [3.9]

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Jack: Very well. I am leaving your doll. Here on the... the, eh...

Jack, the Monks, and the Ancient Master's Son [3.10]

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Grandmaster Tan Zang: Speak, my son.
Jack: Grandmaster, I am the pupil of Master Chu.
Grandmaster Tan Zang: I am Tan Zang. I was also a pupil of Master Chu, with you, at the temple.
Jack: How can this be?
Grandmaster Tan Zang: I remember the day that you arrived at our temple. I was but a boy then. An emperor's son had come to learn our ways. You were training for your eventual battle with the ultimate evil. Eventually, Aku came for us and the temple was destroyed. But the survivors and I rebuilt the temple in secret. Over time, I became the grandmaster. The years passed and my chi grew more powerful. I became one with nature and received energy and nourishment from the earth itself. I have attained the highest levels of awareness and wisdom.
Monk A: [the time portal has closed] He is free. We have done it.
Monk B: [surrounded by stone warriors] We will not escape this. But we will die with honor.
Monk A: Brother, why did you come back?
Jack: You were prepared for sacrifice. I was not.
Monk B: But... with the portal closed... you will have to find another way home.
Jack: I am getting used to that.

The Birth of Evil, Part 1 [3.11]

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Aku: Fool! Nothing of this world can harm me, for I am Aku! The Shogun of Sorrow, the Deliverer of Darkness, your new master and you will bow to me!
Aku: YOU! Thank you.
Young Emperor: No! My intention was to destroy you!
Aku: Oh? [laughs] But it was your poisoned arrow and your hocus pocus that set me free. [more laughter]

The Birth of Evil, Part 2 [3.12]

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Odin: This blade was forged from the righteous energy within thee.
Ra: It possesses the power to destroy this evil force.
Rama: But be warned. This evil is not of the human world. It has magic beyond your understanding. Trust not what you see, but what you feel.
Aku: How can this be?
Young Emperor: This sword was forged from the strength and power of the human spirit. It represents all that is good. Its purpose is to destroy you.
Aku: Bah!
Young Emperor: We must learn from this day. We must be prepared should this evil ever return. We must have a plan.

Jack and the Labyrinth [3.13]

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Tribe Leader: In appreciation for saving our humble tribe from extinction at the hands of the evil Aku, we give you this map it reveals the hidden location of a great source of power that Aku keeps locked away. A power that can end your quest and return you to when you belong. Many have sacrificed to bring us this information. You must use it wisely. For this powersource is sealed in a fortress. A fortress stumped with countless guards to protect it against the finest warriors and filled with an array of booby traps to defend it against the most cunning thieves. Be careful. Beware. Be victorious. If you dare...
Jack: You must give me the diamond!
Thief: I can't!
Jack: You must!
Thief: I can't!
Jack: You must!
Thief: I can't!
Jack: You must!
Thief: I can't!
Thief: Ooh, I'm a dark ninja. Sneaky, sneaky. You can't see me.
Thief: Jack... I'm sorry.
[He closes the elevator behind him]
Jack : NO!
[All sounds become a blur for the Samurai as he slices the robotic guardians. He collapses, exhausted. More robots advance in on him]
Thief: Hey! Jack!
[He lowers a rope down to him and pulls him up onto the roof]
Thief: You're welcome.
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