Samurai Jack (season 1)

Seasons: 1 2 3 4 5 | Main

The following is a list of quotes from the first season Samurai Jack.

The Beginning [1.1]

[first lines of the series]

Aku: [emerges from the ground] Once again, I am free to smite the world as I did in days long past.

The Emperor: When the evil shapeshifting wizard Aku arose from the bowels of hate to ravage our land, I was a young emperor at the time and was helpless against his powers. But I remembered our grandfather's grandfather's stories about three monks, who were gifted with mystical powers. I rode to the highest peak of the mountainside, where the monks agreed to forge me an enchanted sword with great magic. Armed with the sword and the hope of my people, I plunged into battle against Aku. His evil was no match for the power of righteousness, and with the sword's magic, Aku's demon forces were implanted into the Earth, forever petrifying him into the wasteland that he created. Through years of hard work, we have rebuilt our glorious past with hopes never to encounter an evil such as Aku again. Always be alert, my son, for the presence of evil is sometimes right behind you.

Emperor: [tears with joy as he sees his son all grown up] He has returned to us. My son...

Jack: [helping his father up to his feet] What has happened to our land, Father?

The Emperor: My son, it has been many years since that fateful day that Aku returned from his imprisonment. Enslaved, we have become, to unearth the riches of the land so that Aku can strengthen his powers and begin to take over the world.

[an image of a laughing Aku appears, then it shows Jack's eyes go wide in shock, then tighten in anger/determination]

Jack: Do not worry, Father! [he draws his sword] For with the power of this sword, I will vanquish Aku! Sending him back to the pit of hate from which he came.

Emperor: No! [he smacks the sword out of Jack's hands, then takes the sword] I thought once like you, but the sword is only a tool. What power has it compared to the hand that wields it? Evil is clever, and deception is its most powerful weapon. [he hands the sword back to Jack and places a gentle hand on his shoulder] Let the sword guide you to your fate, but let your mind set free the path to your destiny.

Jack: [riding off on a white horse] I will not fail you, Father!

Emperor: Be wary, my son. For Evil finds a way.

Jack: AKU! [loud echoing]

Aku: Who dares to summon the Master of Masters, the Deliverer of Darkness, the Shogun of Sorrow, Aku?!

Jack: I am the lost son of the land you have pillaged. I am here to reclaim it. [draws the sword out] For my people...for my father...for my birthright.

Aku: [laughs] Fool. No mortal can hurt the great Aku.

[Jack slashes Aku and to Aku's surprise, it hurt a lot]

Aku: [growls/grunts/hisses in pain] That sword! I remember that blade. I recognize your blood. You are the son of the fool who imprisoned me those many years ago. No matter. Neither he nor the sword had the power to slay me forever. And neither do you.

Jack: No matter what form you take, Aku, you will never defeat the side of righteousness.

[Jack prepares to strike the final blow onto Aku]

Aku: You might have beaten me now, but I will destroy you in the future.

Jack: There is no future for you, Aku.

Aku: I disagree. [he shrieks fives circles and forms white holes above and below Jack]

Jack: What trickery is this? [the circles envelope Jack; he slashes but he disappears in a flash of white light, as he's send to the future] Aku-! [the light fades off; Aku slowly rises]

Aku: Do not worry, samurai. You will see me again. But next time, you will not be so fortunate.

The Samurai Called Jack [1.2]

[Jack encounters cheering homeboys after avoiding the garbage cruncher]

Homeslice: Yo, Jack! That was some awesome show!

Brobot: I've never peered upon moves Iike that, Jack!

Cole Lampkin: Word! Jack was aII ricocheticaIIy-jumpa-deIic!

Homeslice: Aw, hezeck, yeah! BodigiousIy acrobatastic!

Brobot: Word! Word! But then, when Jack puIIed that Swiss arm it was aII, Iike, schwim-swack-swoof! Man, right through the car! Swick-attack-whack was fuII on the back, Jaaack!

Cole Lampkin: Oh, yeah, yeah! And he was aII schfoo-boom! Man! Eat that, fIucking crucker!

Homeslice: Yo, then my man just lands aII coolish styIe like, "No sweating, chiII."

Cole Lampkin: Bu-bu-but then that gunner wanna come out aII ramma-lamma-lamma, and then the trashin' aII munchin' and crunchin' and snack-mixin'!

Brobot: Out of that phat, supercagafragaIistic-tistic tie, yo!

Homeslice: Yeah! But Jack's just Iike, "Word! Let me get some. Tie, grab. Zip! I'm out, yo!"

Jack: [When he is first asked his name, he relives/recalls some guys watching him in action] They call me Jack.

Aku: Ha ha ha ha. So fate has arrived. Many years have gone since that day. And now, my formidabIe foe, you will pay for my pain in the past with your pain in the future.

Rothchild: Down here, old fellow. I was just wondering if you'd be so kind as to join us, as we were just...

Jack: Talking demon dogs!

Rothchild: Good heavens! Where?!

Jack: I have seen Aku implement these atrocities before, but no more. Even dogs should not be forced to live like dogs!

The First Fight [1.3]

[a bug bot takes a step back]

Samurai Jack: No, there is no escape.

Rothchild: [after Jack has slayed all of Aku's beetle drones] Now, that was smashing! A reaI bang-up job!

[he's laughing joyfully until Jack opens his menacingly-looking eyes at him]

Rothchild: Ahem... Good, Sir Jack. 'Twas truIy a nobIe deed you have done today, and an historic victory most worthy of our Iogs. You have saved our pack from the wrath of Aku's drones. We are forever indebted to you. [all dogs have lowered their hunting hats in unison]

Jack: Thanks are not necessary. It is my duty to oppose the minions of Aku and my mission to vanquish the very demon himself.

Rothchild: Well, then, now that we have a chance at freedom, we should take our leave of these forsaken mines. Our pack shaII continue our once-nomadic life searching for more answers to our puzzling history. [Jack offers a handshake]

Jack: I wish you the best.

Rothchild: We certainty invite you to join us.

Jack: No, I cannot. Aku's wrongs must be righted. Surely there is a way to reverse his spell. I will find a way back to my own time. There, I will finish what I started centuries ago and defeat Aku's evil before it was ever truly unleashed.

Aku: Bah! He is stronger than I remember...but no matter. For you see, little samurai, the world is mine! My eyes and ears are everywhere. Nothing you do will go unseen. Quest as you may, but we will meet again when I see fit in a time and place of my choosing. And it is I who shall put an end to the war started in that age long past... SAMURAI JACK! [evil laughing]

Jack, the Woolies, and the Chritchellites [1.4]

Jack: I notice your treatment of the Woolies is somewhat... harsh.

Leader: Not really. It's no different than the way you humans treat- what do you call them? Horses.

Lazzor: We are forever grateful, great warrior, to your deeds done today. If there is anything that you seek, please honor us by letting us help you.

Samurai Jack: There is one thing that I quest for.

Lazzor: [an image of Aku appears in Lazzor’s eyes] Yes... I understand. Travel north, Samurai. There you will find a magical place that can help you fulfill your destiny...

Jack in Space [1.5]

Analyst: What is wrong, friend? Odds are three to one you should have fun.

Jack: I too desire to find my home. You see, in days long past where rockets and robots were nowhere near creation, a young warrior forged into battle with Aku. At the point where victory was imminent, Aku tricked the warrior and flung him from his own time to a distant time in the future. To reclaim his homeland and undo the evil of Aku, the warrior has to find some sort of time passage home. Such a magic is difficult to find.

Analyst: [impressed] Is that warrior you?

Frederick: Jack, those are what we like to call guided missiles!

Mantoid: You have been found guilty of breaking Aku Law 101 and 203: Habitation in an unauthorized facility, and unauthorized construction of an escape vehicle. Your punishment is extermination.

Jack and the Warrior Woman [1.6]

Elder: A warning: only one of pure heart may approach and use the power of the jewel.

Samurai Jack: My mission is noble, my heart is pure. I have nothing to fear.

Jack: Who are you, and why did you help me?

Ikra: Not the grateful kind, are you?

Jack: I will ask again. Who are you and why did you help me?

Ikra: You're welcome.

Jack: ...My time in this land has made me harsh and rude. Forgive me. I did not mean to insult you.

Ikra: No tears shed, samurai.

Jack: Jack.

Ikra: What?

Jack: Samurai Jack. It is what the people of this land have named me.

Ikra: O-kaaay? Then let us find shelter elsewhere, Jack. The night is not the time for riding.

Ikra: [cackles evilly until her voice sounded like Aku's]

Jack: Ikra?

Aku: [reveals himself] No, fool! It is I, Aku. [Jack is horrified] Yes, samurai. You have been betrayed. I and Ikra are one and the same.

Jack: [falls to his knees] No!

Aku: Oh, yes. You see, I had a dream. No, a nightmare of a jewel that had the power to send you back in time. I knew that this was no mere dream, but a premonition. I had to destroy this powerful jewel, but I did not know its whereabouts.

Jack: No!

Aku: Yes, samurai. I knew you would find it. [mockingly] "Oh, my poor father trapped in a ring of fire by mean, old Aku." [blinks his eyes and cackles evilly] Fool!

Jack: [enraged at Aku's deception and screams as he goes to attack, but Aku changes into a bird and dodges the sword] FIGHT ME, COWARD!

Aku: Soon we will fight, but not until I find a way to defeat you and your sword. Now, how did you put it? Oh, yes. Your time on this miserable Aku-infested land continues. [laughs as he flies away]

Jack: [screams and impales his sword angrily in the ground and drops to his knees] I will destroy you, Aku. I swear it!

Jack and the Three Blind Archers [1.7]

Lil Guy: [shouting] Get out of the great Kahn's chair! What are you, telling stories again? Get swabbing or I'll toss you over board, you has-been!

Samurai Jack: Excuse me. Is this wishing well that you spoke of real?

General: Why, yes! Beyond that mountaintop over there.

[Jack prepares to leave]

General: Wait, I beg you. Reconsider. There are only three archers yet they decimated my whole army. You are just one man. Do the math. Why attempt it?

Jack: That well could get me home.

General: There are other ways to get home.

Jack: Not for me.

Jack: [Jack has been defeated while fighting blind-folded] It's no use. No one can fight like this!

Grand Master: A great warrior must be in tune with *all* of his senses. Only then will you be able to extend your awareness so that you may fight on any level. Try again.

Jack: Yes, Sifu.

Jack: Evil spirit of the well, you will not take another innocent life! I wish thee...destroyed!

Archer #1: [speaking of Jack] The greatest of warriors.

Archer #2: A noble spirit.

Archer #3: Such sacrifice.

Jack Versus Mad Jack [1.8]

Fishman: [Jack is about to enjoy his tea in a seedy bar] You got some kinda nerve. Hear what I'm sayin'?

[Jack ignores him]

Fishman: I'm talking to you! You got some gump comin' here, know what I mean? Better finish that drink quick, cuz you might not live much longer. Aku's offering two googolplex for your head. Two googolplex, that's a lot of money. And we aim to collect it. Right about now.

Jack: [to a defeated bounty hunter] Looks like there will be no money for you, crazy round man.

Jack: WHO ELSE WANTS SOME?!!!!

[Jack encounters an exact replica of himself in a black and red robe and red eyes]

Jack: What sorcery is this? Who are you?

Mad Jack: Don't be such a fool! I'm you!

Jack: If you are me, then who am I?

Mad Jack: Graaah! You're so stupid! You are you also!

Jack: Enough! You are my mirror image, yet your speech is foul with evil and disrespect. Who are you, and how have you come to be me?

Mad Jack: I am the son of Aku's magic. He has looked deep within you and has spawned me from your own burning hatred. I am your dark side, and I possess all the powers that you wield. And I have only one purpose in my existence: to destroy you!

Mad Jack: Hurts, doesn't it?

Jack: Not as much as this is going to hurt you!

Mad Jack: [Jack is meditating] What the heck is going on?

Jack: You have lost. The battle is over.

Mad Jack: What?!

Jack: You are my inner demon. You have been born from the hatred within me. But now that hatred is no more. Thus, you do not exist.

Mad Jack: Fool! I am real! Now feel the reality of my cold, hard steel!

[Mad Jack yells and charges at Jack, who does nothing. The moment Mad Jack's sword makes contact, he is enveloped in a flash of light. Mad Jack screams in rage and hate and then disappears when Jack's anger is finally quelled and controlled.]

Jack: [about Aku] I know you're watching. These tricks are starting to annoy me...

Jack Under the Sea [1.9]

Guiness: Due to the nature of our geography, it's not often that we receive visitors. In fact, you're the first.

Guiness: Ahem. Lord Aku, we have fulfilled our obligation to you. We... now ask that you...

Aku: Fulfill mine?! Yes, yes, the obligation, of course. Yes, well, it seems that I've... CHANGED MY MIND!

Aku: Can you not see?! Aku is beyond destruction!

Guiness: Jack. There's something I... the way we... betrayed you... It is unforgivable. I...

Jack: I understand. Aku's deceit runs deep. Even a good heart can be tainted in the hands of Aku.

Jack and the Lava Monster [1.10]

Jack: No. I will not do battle with you for your amusement. There is no honor in it.

Viking: Honor? What do thee know of honor? A millennium hath passed, and now my goal is within my grasp. This battle will continue to the end.

Viking: I have engraved a recording of my past, so that I would never forget the life that I had, the man I was. So thy people would not be lost to the dust of time. Let me take thee on a journey into the past...

Viking: Warrior, rise! I must defeat you honorably!

Jack: Do not worry, I have only begun to fight!

Viking: Yeeeeeeessssss. At last, after all these years, a worthy opponent.

Jack: Enough of this pointless battle. I will continue to fight you no more.

Viking: [strikes] I say thee NAY!!

Viking: Come.

Jack: That voice beckons me further in. Surely he takes me for a fool to follow deeper into his traps. [the floor and spike-covered ceiling begin to converge] A fool I be!

Viking: ACCURSED MONSTER, YOUR SPELL IS BROKEN!!!

Jack and the Scotsman [1.11]

Jack: [tries passing through the Scotsman] Um... excuse me.

The Scotsman: What do ya expect me to do?

Jack: Just stand aside.

Scotsman: And risk fallin' over the side for a perfect stranger? Awa' an bile yer heid! You stand aside!

Jack: [pause] ...My destination lies at the opposite end of the bridge.

Scotsman: And you'll get there after you back up and I reach that end o' the bridge first! [Jack turns his head back to his end]

Jack: That would waste too much time, and time is what I don't have.

Scotsman: Sooo, ye think yer better than me cos yer in a hurry! Well, I'm in a hurry too! But, no, ya didn't think o' that, did ya? That I might be an equal! Nooo, ya just consider yerself superior right off! Yer rude. [Jack blinks, pauses]

Jack: You mistake my comment, sir.

Scotsman: Do I? Ye think I'm dumb, too?

Jack: No, I... Look, we are both in a hurry, so I shall hang from these planks and you may walk right over.

Scotsman: So ya get to peek up me kilt?

Jack: That is not what I am suggesting.

Scotsman: So ya say, ya plookie-face hing oot.

Jack: [raises an eyebrow] What did you call me?

Jack: [shackled to the Scotsman] The arrow relies on the bow, and the bow relies on the arrow, but they are not tied together.

Scotsman: That would be pointless now, wouldn't it?

Scotsman: [shows his large sword] What do ya think o' that, Mr. Pajama-Wearing, Basket-Face, Slipper-Wielding, Clipe-Dreep-Bauchle Gether-Upping-Blate-Maw, Bleathering, Gomeril Jessie, Oaf-looking, Stauner, Nyaff, Plookie, Shan, Milk-Drinking Soy-Faced Shilpit, Mim-Moothed, Sniveling, Worm-Eyed, Hotten-Blaugh Vile-Stoochie, Callie-Breek Tattie?

Jack: I fear no man.

Scotsman: Ooohhh. That's some tough talk comin' from a guy who wears a basket on his head.

Scotsman: By the look on your face I can tell ya like the pipes, wee laddie.

Jack: We are in no condition to fight these odds.

Scotsman: [gruffly] Especially not with a pajama wearin' daisy strapped to me wrist.

[Jack and the Scotsman have been fighting all night and are exhausted]

Scotsman: Are ye ready to give up yet?

Jack: I am not defeated, and I will hold my ground.

Scotsman: Hold your ground? Ye can barely stand, let alone hold your sword.

Jack: Then come get me.

Scotsman: Wha-? I... [struggles with his sword and gives up] Seeing as I'm a sportsman, I'll give ye a moment to recuperate.

Jack and the Gangsters [1.12]

Boss: Boys, meet Jackie the Blade. With all the cool accoutrements, see?

Mr. Pibbles: Yeah, great. How come he gets the cool name?

Boss: Ah, so now Mr. Goody-two-sandals feels like talkin', eh?

Boss: Come on out, Jackie.

Aku: Jackie?

Jack: Actually, it's Jack.

Aku: Who dares to summon... Oh, it is YOU.

Aku's Fairy Tales [1.13]

Aku: Tales of the Samurai's heroics have spread through the world like a virus. But I will cure the world of this plague of hope.

Aku: Once upon a time there was a sweet little girl, with an adorable red cape and GREAT FLAMING EYEBROWS!

Aku: The beast was struck, and was transformed, into... BEEF JERKY!

Aku: The Wolf attacked Little Red Hood, not knowing that Little Red Hood had LASER EYE BEAMS! [Little Red Hood zaps the Wolf with eye lasers] GREAT COMBAT SKILLS! [Little Red Hood bashes the Wolf back and forth] AND A POWERFUL UPPERCUT that freed Little Red's Grandmother from the evil bowels of the Wolf!

Grandma: Mmmmmm! Confectionery treats!

Aku: And so, Little Red Hood was VICTORIOUS!

Wolf: Did someone say picnic basket full of confectionery treats?

Child: [confused] But, those are three different stories.

Aku: WITH GREAT ENDINGS!

Aku: When the three bears returned, COMPLETE DESTRUCTION awaited them!

Aku: Once upon a time there was a house built from straw, wood, and brick. Where three innocent little pigs happily made their residence- until there was a knock at the door. It was Big, Bad Jack.

Fairy Tale Jack: Little pig, little pig, open up and let me in!

Pigs: Not by the hairs of our chinny chin chins.

Fairy Tale Jack: Then I'll huff and I'll puff and I'm coming in! Here's Jacky!

Aku: ENOUGH! Here's the truest tale of all! There was an all-mighty, all-powerful wizard, and there was a pathetic little samurai. And the wizard destroyed him! THE END!