Legends of Tomorrow

Legends of Tomorrow is a TV show based on the fictional characters of DC Comics. Firestorm, Captain Cold, Heatwave, Atom, White Canary, Hawkgirl, and Hawkman are assembled by a time traveler named Rip Hunter to save the world from the immortal Vandal Savage. But after Savage's defeat, the justly named Legends find themselves in a series of misadventures across time and space while joined by other heroes like John Constantine. It is the 3rd entry of the Arrowverse, a series based on DC Comics that includes Arrow, The Flash, Supergirl, and Black Lightning.

Season 1

Opening voiceover by Rip
In 2166 an immortal tyrant named Vandal Savage conquered the world and murdered my wife and child. I have assembled an elite team to hunt him throughout time and stop his rise to power. Unfortunately my plan is opposed by the body I'd sworn my allegiance to, the Time Masters. In the future my friends may not be heroes, but if we succeed they'll be remembered as Legends.

Pilot, Part 1 [1.1]

Leonard Snart: You got the wrong guy, hero ain't on my resume.

Mick Rory: Or mine.

Rip Hunter: I know it's difficult for you to fathom, but where - when I'm from, the year 2166, you and everyone on this roof aren't just considered heroes... You're legends.

Ray Palmer: Legends?

Dr. Martin Stein: I, um, I hate to nitpick, but doesn't a legend have to be dead?

Jefferson "Jax" Jackson: Yeah, see, uh, that's deal breaker for me, so I'm gonna pass.

Mick: I can't believe you're hooking up with the Englishman. We're thieves. Crooks. Criminals. I have no desire to save the world. Especially 100 years after I'm dead.

Snart: He said across time, Mick. What about the years before? Before fingerprints and surveillance cameras and DNA analysis. Why did we become criminals?

Mick: Because we hate working and we love money.

Mick: Whatever you roofied him with, I'd like some.

Stein: I did not roofie him.

Mick: Oh, I ain't judgin'.

Rip: Dr. Palmer, please tell me...

Ray: I didn't leave my exosuit on the ship? Okay, but I'd be lying.

Stein: Why the change of heart?

Jax: You ever play football? Yeah, I didn't think so... Anyway, the best feeling I ever got from being on the field wasn't when I made a great play or we won some game. It was when one of my team-mates took a tackle for me, and I knew they were gonna make sure I was safe. And nobody got to me. Watching all of you rush back to the ship, even those two knuckle-heads, to take on Chronos, made me feel the same way. I like being part of a team, man.

Stein: Me too.

Pilot, Part 2 [1.2]

Rip: Actually, I'm in charge, in case any of you have forgotten.

Snart: No, I remember. I just don't care.

Rip: We can't go back and change events in which we participated. Time would fold in on itself, creating a temporal vortex.

Ray: Which sounds way cooler than it is.

Jax: People actually wore this crap?

Stein: People smoked a lot of pot in the '70s. It clearly had a deleterious effect on the fashion of the era.

Sara Lance: I cannot believe that that is you.

Jax: Seriously, I had no idea you were ever cool.

Stein: I wasn't cool. I was an arrogant little snot.

Jax: Was?

Stein: We wouldn't want my former self tempted by a sexy assassin from the future.

Sara: Aww, you think I'm se—

Stein: Do not finish that sentence.

Blood Ties [1.3]

Mick: What about the rest of us? Do we just sit?

Rip: Capital idea, Mr. Rory. You're not nearly as thick as most people say.

Mick: Thick... does that mean stupid?

Jax: Is there anything you think about other than yourself.

Snart: Yes. Money.

Rip: What the hell happened back there?

Sara: You know I'm a killer. That's why you put me in your little group.

Rip: I didn't witness just a killer at work, Sara. What I saw was an animal.

Sara: You are the last person on this ship to judge anyone!

Rip: This is not judgement, Sara. It is concern.

Sara: I thought you knew how I was resurrected and what it did to me.

Rip: I know you were restored by something called the Lazarus Pit.

Sara: Well, apparently there's a downside to being brought back to life. My friend, Thea, calls it a blood lust, and I think that's being too generous, and so is calling me an animal. I'm a monster.

Ray: All right, where am I headed?

Stein: You're exiting the tracheal artery. You should see the first fragment.

Ray: No sign of it. Did I miss it?

Stein: It's the size of an iceberg. It seems highly unlikely that you could miss it.

Ray: Huh. That's probably what they said on the Titanic.

Stein: I know how it feels.

Ray: What?

Stein: To have a crisis of confidence. As unlikely as it might seem, I know. It was 2002. I was teaching quantum mechanics, and I had one particularly gifted student. He was able to solve the Ehrenfest theorem in less than an hour. He was, quite frankly, the only student in all my years of teaching who ever made me feel inferior. That student was you. You were exceptional.

Ray: And suddenly, just like that, you remember having me in your class.

Stein: I always remembered. I just enjoyed taking you down a peg or two.

White Knights [1.4]

Ray: Really? We're trying to save the world and you're lifting wallets?

Snart: It's called multitasking.

Ray: Wow, it's a MIG-21. No one's ever been this close to one before.

Snart: Are you quoting "Top Gun"?

Ray: Maybe.

Ray: I'm speaking Russian now, aren't I?

Snart: Now you're annoying in multiple languages

Ray: Better go bone up on Vostok's CV.

Snart: I guess I'll bone up on the ballet. Gideon, bone me.

Valentina Vostok: You work for the American government.

Snart: I'm wanted by the American government. Does that count?

Fail-Safe [1.5]

Ray: This must be where they keep the VIPs.

Mick: This is prison, jackass, there are no VIPs.

Sara: I just took out six men. You guys couldn't handle one?

Snart: This isn't my first prison break.

Mick: [passing around glasses of Russian vodka] Courtesy of Yuri the Bear.

Sara: How did you even have time to steal this?

Snart: There's always time to steal.

Stein: Having merged with an insane Russian scientist, I now know how lucky I am to have you as my partner.

Jax: [raises a shot glass in a toast] Partners.

Star City 2046 [1.6]

Mick: It's not money, it's not jewels, it's not a valuable artefact. You're just lucky I'd steal anything right about now.

Rip: As I suspected.

Snart: We'll get your gizmo, you just get this bucket flying again.

Sara: I'm coming with.

Rip: No, no you are not. You're too emotionally connected to this city. We've been over this!

Sara: I'm over you. You got us on a mission to change the timeline for yourself, and you won't even let us look at our futures? Now, I know this city better than anyone else and you're gonna need me out there. So, either I'm coming with, or we can find out if the Time Masters are as good at teaching people to fight as the League of Assassins.

Ray: Well the rest of the team is on a field trip to Palmer Tech, now Smoak Technologies. Palmer Tech sounds better, right? Be honest.

Kendra: Honestly, they sound about the same.

Snart: I seem to remember something about your father being a police captain?

Sara: Your point?

Snart: He did a hell of a job.

Stein: What's the point of stopping Savage if we become as immoral as he is in the process?

Mick: You know what I think? I think you think too much.

Marooned [1.7]

Snart: Don't mind him. He's still sore about having to leave 2046.

Mick: I'm sore because I was recruited for my unique ability to light things on fire. And now, I'm locked in the one place where I can't light things on fire: a spaceship.

Stein: I'm having the strangest sensation. It's like I'm ten years old again.

Mick: You do a lot of space travel as a kid, Professor?

Stein: Only in my dreams, after I read my first issue of "Rick Starr: Space Ranger."

Jax: Space Ranger Stein? Yeah, I don't see it.

Stein: I wanted to travel through space, surviving only by my wits and laser guns. I even built a rocket out of cardboard boxes.

Rip: What stopped you?

Stein: NASA has rather strict guidelines regarding near-sightedness.

Jax: And smoking weed.

Ray: Captain's log. Stardate 837.9. We're awaiting word from the away team aboard the Acheron.

Kendra: I hate to break it to you, but you're no Captain Kirk. You're Picard.

Ray: But Picard was cautious, pontificating, sort of sexless.

Kendra: Well, tell that to Vash. And for the record, Picard was way hotter than Kirk.

Jax: To quote every Star Wars movie ever made, "I've got a bad feeling about this."

Rip: I'm not mad at you! I was going to resign!

Miranda Coburn: I know, and I couldn't let you. This has always been your dream!

Rip: Yes, but you are so much better at this than me. I can't understand why you would give all that up.

Miranda: It's funny because you're the one who made me realize that I could never be a Time Master. I found something with you, something wonderful. I found love, that thing that the Time Masters always taught us to hide from. But they were wrong Rip! Love's no threat, it's beautiful and powerful and once you know it, love changes everything. Like it changed me. And that's why I have to resign, because I could never belong to something which turns its back on the truth.

Rip: Suddenly my chosen profession seems so terribly unimportant.

Miranda: No! The world needs the Time Masters, and the Time Masters most assuredly need Rip Hunter. My only wish is that one day, when you're off traveling space and time, you'll realize what I have and understand why I'm doing what I'm doing. I hope you'll think of me when that day comes.

Rip: I will. Because I'll be with you.

Night of the Hawk [1.8]

Stein: Seeing white picket fences and perfect family houses, it's enough to make one nostalgic.

Sara: Or nauseated.

Stein: Oh come on, Miss Lance, even someone as jaded as yourself can't deny how idyllic this time was.

Jax: Yeah. If you're white.

Sara: And a man. And straight. And...

Stein: Ok, ok, I get the point.

Jax: We're just gonna pretend like none of this happened? That Mick Rory wasn't part of our team? If you can just ice your best friend like that, I'd hate to think what you could do to us.

Stein: Excellent, nurse. I could also go for a cup of coffee.

Sara: Me, too. Black, two sugars.

Stein: While I've been busy working, you've been busy seducing that young woman!

Sara: Actually, I was liberating her. With an option to seduce her later.

Rip: I'm sorry, Mr. Palmer. I'm unfamiliar with the term "man cave."

Ray: Oh, it's a room in a basement where a dude goes to be alone or watch football. In Savage's case, it's to kill people.

Left Behind [1.9]

Rip: He's [Chronos] time-jumping the ship.

Snart: The ladies will be left in 1958?

Jax: What about Ray?

Snart: Like I said.

[Sara and Kendra are playing the game "Life".}

Sara: [reading off a card] "Congratulations! You are a doctor".

Kendra: You know, I thought about going to medical school once.

Sara: Here you go. $10,000 salary.

Kendra: That's it? I made more as a barista.

Sara: It's 1958. You're lucky to make that as a woman.

Kendra: Touché. Your turn.

Sara: [sighs] I miss Netflix.

Snart: So, uh, what's so special about me? I mean, aside from my sparkling personality. Back on the Waverider, you could've taken your boy Rip, but you took me instead. Why? Hey, if you're gonna kill me, you could at least tell me what's going on.

Chronos: You should have figured it out by now.

[Chronos unmasks, revealing himself to be Mick Rory.]

Mick: After all, I am supposed to be the dumb one.

Snart: Look, if you're gonna kill me, just do it already.

Mick: I'm not gonna kill you. I'm gonna take a trip back to Central City and visit your baby sister. The beautiful thing about time travel is I get to kill her more than once. I can kill Lisa in front of you, go back in time, kill her in front of you again. And again. And again... I used to think the most beautiful thing on Earth was fire. Now I know. It's vengeance.

[Rip prepares to treat Snart's missing hand.]

Rip: Gideon, start the regeneration process.

Snart: What do you mean "regeneration"?

Rip: I took genetic samples from each of you at the start of our voyage for this exact eventuality.

Snart: Why am I only hearing about this now?

Rip: Because none of you had lost a limb yet.

Progeny [1.10]

Jax: Man, I hate wool.

Rip: Be grateful, Mr. Jackson. Those living outside the Kasnian Conglomerate are dressed in rags.

Sara: Conglomerate?

Rip: Yes, in the year 2080, governments began to give way to corporations.

Jax: More like 2008.

Jax: But if we're going to be checking out the future...

Sara: We should probably invite the nerd twins.

Jax: You know, I can already hear what Stein's going to say about 2147:

[Immediately afterwards, outside on a walkway]

Stein: [amazed at what he sees] The future, it's...

Sara: [simultaneously with Jax] Astonishing.

Jax: [simultaneously with Sara] Fascinating.

{Stein grimaces slightly.]

Jax: [to Sara] Well, it was a 50-50 chance which one he'd choose.

Ray: Unless I'm mistaken, your tech utilizes dwarf star alloy?

Dr. Bryce: That technology is proprietary, uh, but yes. How did you know, Doctor...?

Ray: Lecter. Dr. Hannibal Lecter.

Ray: How is it even possible that I am someone's great-great-great-great-grandfather? Before we left in 2016, the only person I was... [trails off]

Jax: Having sex with?

Ray: ...ghosted me the week before we left.

Stein: Sh-she died?

Jax: No. No. "Ghosting". It's where you pretend to be dead by not answering somebody's text.

Stein: What a strange age for dating.

[Rip brandishes his energy pistol at Per Degaton, ready to kill him.]

Rip: I'm sorry.

Per Degaton: No, you're not. You're not sorry 'cause you're not going to kill me.

Rip: I have to. To save my wife and son, I.. I have to. I don't expect you to understand.

Per: It doesn't matter if I understand. I can see it in your eyes. You're not going to do it. You're like my father. Weak. [Rip cocks the energy pistol, but Per doesn't flinch.] Vandal Savage has taught me many things, including what a killer looks like. You're not a killer.

[After a moment, Rip puts the pistol away.]

Rip: Your tutor has taught you well. In spite of his ill intentions.

Per: Vandal loves me.

Rip: Oh, he wants to use you as his pawn. But ultimately, he will betray you.

Per: No. No, he won't

Rip: I've said to myself time and time again that there is nothing that I wouldn't do to save my wife and son, but now I know that there is. My reticence to kill you, Per Degaton, is not weakness. It is goodness. And if there is a shred of goodness inside of me, then I have to believe that there is a shred of goodness inside of you. [gently] Be the man that your father wants you to be. Not the man Savage wants you to be.

The Magnificent Eight [1.11]

Sara: Oh, come on. What's the harm in us just... taking a look around?

Stein: With this group? Clearly, you haven't been paying attention.

Ray: If I'm in the Old West and I don't get to look around, I'm going to kick myself.

Snart: I could help with that.

[Stein wins a poker hand.]

Snart: I'm impressed.

Stein: My father was what some might call a degenerate gambler. Others would say "criminal". When I was old enough, he'd pull me in on some of his schemes. Picked up a thing or two at a few of the card tables he frequented. Then, I took a different path. "Like father, like son" isn't always inevitable, Mr. Snart.

Ray: Howdy. I'm Ra... John Wayne.

[Sara and Kendra are riding in the countryside on horses.}

Kendra: There's something weird going on with your face.

Sara: What?

Kendra: You're smiling. [laughing] I didn't know you could do that.

Sara: [also laughing] Don't tell anyone my secret. It's just all this. It's so pure. So simple. I'd say I miss simple, but I guess you have to experience something first to miss it.

Snart: [about Jonah Hex] Interesting fella.

Rip: Indeed.

Snart: This town's seen a lot of interesting. Suppose you got one of those doohickeys that erases people's memories or something?

Rip: No. But, skepticism and disbelief are a far more effective tool.

Snart: Ah. So if anybody here talks, no one will believe them.

Rip: Would you, Mr. Snart?

Last Refuge [1.12]

Ray: Come with me if you want to live. [laughs] Always wanted to say that.

Sara: Yeah, who wants a relationship based on honesty and communication? Bleh.

Kendra: Believe me, a relationship based on an ancient Egyptian curse doesn't work much better.

[Younger Sara watches her older self fight the Pilgrim, then sees her face.]

Younger Sara: My God, she's...

Mick: Quite the bad ass.

Mother: I've made you something for your travels. Some mince pies for your friends.

Rip: My friends. They're the people whose relationships with their friends and family I've put at risk to save my family.

Mother: You think you've been selfish?

Rip: I do, yes.

Mother: What a little cotwerp! I've always known that you were brought to me for a reason, Michael. That you were ready for great things. But you won't accomplish anything by wallowing. So for goodness sake, pull yourself out of it and get the job done.

Rip: What about you? I have put you in terrible danger.

Mother: You didn't honestly think I'd let you go away with my best serving dish if I didn't think I'd see you again, did you?

[Rip's younger self has helped defeat the Pilgrim by stabbing her in the leg. Mother now takes him away with her.]

Mick: That's you?

Rip: [not proud] Yeah. I was a cutpurse from the age of five. Starved more than I ate. I knew what I'd do if she tried to harm me.

Snart: Lucky for us you didn't forget your roots.

Rip: Believe me, Mr. Snart... I've tried.

Leviathan [1.13]

Stein: I realize your family's in jeopardy, but perhaps some deliberation --

Rip: We really don't have the time, Martin. According to Gideon, Savage is going to be out in the open tonight. Vulnerable. Now, in order to capture him, I require the services of --

Mick: Killer, Klepto and Pyro.

Rip: Bingo.

Ray: I also picked up on the fact that we're in London just a few days before Savage tries to kill your wife and son, and you're not trying to get them to safety.

Rip: After my first attempt on Savage in ancient Egypt, my very next stop was here in 2166. I found Miranda and Jonas exactly where I'd left them, and we... we raced towards the Waverider, but we had a run-in with Savage's shock troopers. Miranda and Jonas were cut down. So, uh... I jumped even further back, and the outcome is exactly the same. I watched my family die countless times at the hands of Savage and his forces before I realized that, um...

Ray: ... time wants to happen.

Rip: It's a funny feeling knowing that the universe itself doesn't want you to save your family.

Snart: I know what you're thinkingː "My dad may not be perfect, but deep down, he's not a bad guy." [opens the cell door]

Cassandra Savage: What are you doing?

Snart: Showing you that when it comes to crap fathers, there is no "deep down".

Rip: Now, you may not believe in fate, Raymond, but I certainly do. And perhaps it was fate that compelled me to bring you seven together, so we can change this future once and for all.

Vandal Savage: Oh, I admire your command of irony, Garib. Using my own child against me.

Snart: Sorry to say, it didn't take much.

Mick: None at all, you ass.

River of Time [1.14]

Sara: [to Savage] I'd tell you to go to hell, but you'd probably just feel at home there.

Mick: [spitting out food] Why are all the snacks in the future sugar-free?

Snart: So much for progress.

Savage: Who are you to stand up against me?!? Vandal Savage, destroyer of empires!

Snart: Leonard Snart, robber of ATMs!

Savage: This truly is "good-bye". Would you mind answering just one final question?

Rip: Well, it seems only sporting.

Savage: How did you manage to escape my prison all those years ago. There were no signs of damage, no clues to your tricks. It left me puzzled for centuries.

Rip: The best magic tricks have the simplest solutions. I bribed your guard with a novelty pen. Had a picture of a woman on it. Turn her upside down, the top comes off. I won it from a drunk G.I. in a Philippines bar in 1944. It's a tacky souvenir, but in this case... a life saver.

Ray: In a way, a broken heart was just what the doctor ordered.

Kendra: It is?

Ray: Yeah. When I lost Anna, I thought that I could never find anybody who I could spend the rest of my life with. You proved me wrong. Thank you for showing me that it's possible.

Destiny [1.15]

Declan: You should be familiar with this procedure, Chronos --

Mick: The name's Mick.

Declan: -- though we've made some refinements. Clearly, your conditioning was not as thorough as it should've been.

Mick: For a Time Master, you sure waste a lot of it.

Ray: So how'd you do it?

Mick: Do what?

Ray: How'd you not get turned into Chronos? You said the only way you held on to yourself the first time was by focusing on your hate.

Mick: What did I focus on this time? [Ray nods] The team.

Ray: [smiling] And how much you care for us?

Mick: I thought about how royally screwed you'd be without me. My point being, if I could survive not being turned into Chronos, you could survive anything they throw at you.

Ray: Thanks. Keep it in mind.

Mick: Well, you better. Because if you tell the team I actually care [serious stare]... I'll shave your head.

Sara: You want to steal a kiss from me, Leonard? You'd better be one hell of a thief.

Rip: All your posturing. All your claims about doing what's best for the timeline, about protecting history, and it all comes down to cold blooded murder.

Druce: The difference between murder and execution is only a matter of authority. I have it. You don't.

Snart: There are no strings on me.

[Leonard Snart's last words before the Oculus explodes.]

Legendary [1.16]

Ray: Yeah, just curious how much headway you've had tracking Savage without all of us.

Rip: None. But, neither have I got myself into bar fights in 1975 and the Old West, put dwarf star technology into the hands of terrorists, or got myself turned into a scary bird-monster.

Mick: We get your point. Now get ours: that ship's not taking off without us. You got that?

Mick: [about Snart's death] It wasn't your fault. It was his. Son of a bitch never did anything without a plan.

Ray: Maybe you're right. Maybe he wanted this. [points finger at Mick and back at himself]

Mick: What are you doing with your hand?

Ray: Maybe he wanted us to, you know... be partners. [playfully punches Mick's shoulder]

Mick: I think I'm gonna be sick.

Savage: Oh, you're too late.

Sara: Time Masters are never late.

[Rip is flying the Waverider alone into the sun to destroy the meteor.]

Rip: I guess this is good-bye.

Ray: It's been a pleasure, Captain.

Rip: Likewise, Dr. Palmer.

Jax: Rip, you brought all of us into this, man.

Rip: Which is why I'm doing this alone, Mr. Jackson. I'll have no one else die for my choices.

Sara: This isn't gonna bring Snart back.

Mick: [subdued] I don't want to lose another friend.

Rip: I appreciate that, Mr. Rory. I must say, it's been an honor to serve as your captain.

Rex Tyler: Is this 2016? Is this May 2016?

Jax: Yeah.

Rex: You're exactly where you said you'd be. Do not get on that ship. If you do, you're all dead.

Mick: Says who?

Rex: Says you, Mr. Rory. You sent me.

Rip: I'm sorry. Who exactly are you?

Rex: My name is Rex Tyler. I am a member of the Justice Society of America.

Season 2

Out of Time [2.1]

Dr. Nathan "Nate" Heywood: Thank you for not having me arrested back there. Those security guard really overreacted. You know, one of them tried to mace me?

Oliver Queen: Dr. Heywood, I only agreed to give you 5 minutes, which was 3 minutes ago, because Ray and Sara are friends of mine. I don't know the first thing about any Legends.

Nate: Of course you do, because you're the Green Arrow.

Oliver: Excuse me? We're done here.

Nate: Look, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to drop a bomb on you like that. It's just that I've exhausted all my normal avenues, and you're the only person left who won't think I'm crazy.

Oliver: You sure about that?

Nate: I'm a historian. I specialize in deductive historical reconstruction. In a layman's terms, I'm a time detective, which I really don't have to be to look at a calendar to see one week after you came to this city, Robin Hood showed up.

Ray: Ah, I knew I forgot something. The part where Rip tells us everything that we did wrong.

Rip: As in seducing the Queen of France just before she's supposed to conceive the country's greatest hope for the future.

Sara: She seduced me.

Rip: Or "wrong" as in violating our policy of "No using superpowers in front of people".

Jax: They had laser guns.

Mick: At least I didn't screw up this time.

[Rip takes away a gold chain necklace from Mick which he had lifted off the French King.]

Mick: Stealing's not screwing up.

Stein: Guten Morgen!

Albert Einstein: What is this? Some sort of prison? What am I doing in here?

Mick: Good question.

Stein: I'm sorry, I never had the opportunity to properly introduce myself. I'm Professor Martin Stein, like Einstein, minus the "Ein". There is so much I'd like to discuss with you, such as your paper on unified field theory.

Einstein: I have not yet published my paper on unified fields theory. Who are you? Why have you abducted me?

Mick: The guys at the party wanted you to make an atomic bomb for the Führer.

Einstein: No. Not even a man as mad as Adolf Hitler would want to create such a terrible weapon.

Stein: You yourself once said "two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity."

Einstein: And you are living proof of the latter!

Mick: He just called you stupid.

Einstein: Now open this door and let me out!

Stein: We will, soon, I promise. We saved you from the Nazis. The least you could do is help us save New York.

Einstein: From what? From some theoretical attack? Some eventuality that not even I could predict it? The only way you could... Mein gott! [in German] You're time travelers!

Stein: Yes, obviously you know.

Einstein: I deduced it, Herr Doctor.

Stein: Perhaps you could deduce how the Germans managed to create a nuclear bomb...

Einstein: Atomic.

Stein: ...when you are the only man on earth capable of performing such a feat?

Einstein: Yeah, that is correct. I am the only man.

Mick: Wait a minute. Are you saying there's some lady out there who can make an atomic bomb?

Einstein: Wunderbar! Why am I talking to him when you are clearly the brains of the operation?

Ray: I'm sorry. But while you were all saving Einstein, Sara was off on her own secret side mission to kill Laurel's killer in the past.

Sara: And I suppose you never thought about saving your fiancée.

Ray: Yeah, of course I did. But I never did it because it's against the rules.

Sara: What rules? We're not Time Masters, there are no rules.

Ray: Well, if there were, there'd certainly be one about lying to your team.

Sara: Listen to yourself. Look, we get it. You're perfect. Always the Boy Scout, aren't you, Raymond?

Ray: Yeah, well, I can say the same thing about you being an assassin.

Sara: Well, if we're being honest, then let me get something off of my chest.

Stein: Let's all just take a deep breath, shall we?

Sara: You think that you're such a big hero, Ray? Without that fancy suit, you're nothing but a self-righteous rich guy.

Gideon: Greetings Dr. Heywood! I am the ship's artificial consciousness.

Sara: Gideon, we need you to tell us where Rip is.

Gideon: I'm afraid I have no idea. But I would be happy to play his final message for you all.

Ray: Final message?

Rip: [through a holographic recording] Sorry for stranding you all throughout history, but it was the only way to save you. Ah, you know what they say - a captain must never abandon his ship. Well, neither shall I abandon hope of seeing you all again someday. Somewhere in time. As flawed and unruly as you are individually, together you are the best crew, the best team a captain could ever hope for. So... stick together. And remember: history is yours now, my dear Legends. Good luck!

The Justice Society of America [2.2]

Amaya Jiwe: Are there any other felons on your team?

Ray: No, no—

Mick: Yes. [Points at Sara] She's an assassin. But never convicted, right?

Ray: Well, I gotta admit, watching your team work like a well-oiled machine kinda makes me feel like I'm doing this whole hero thing all wrong.

Amaya: If it's any consolation, Dr. Palmer, you're not really a hero.

Stein: With all due respect, Raymond, I think there's a reason Mr. Tyler just naturally assumed I was in charge.

Jax: Yeah, because Mr. Tyler is from 1942, and you're some old white dude.

Rex: You don't have the authority.

Stein: Yes, she does. Ms. Lance speaks for all of us. I have watched her become the beating heart and steady hand of this team. She is the proper person to lead us. If she says that we are going to rescue our people, that is what we are going to do.

Nate: My dad used to tell me bedtime stories about you. You're a hero to me.

Commander Steel: I'm a hero to a lot of people. That's the job.

Shogun [2.3]

Nate: Masako's supposed to marry the shogun Tokugawa Iemitsu.

Sara: Yeah, met him. Not a fan.

Nate: Well, the reason he sticks out in the history books is because he likes to murder his wives, and I can't leave Masako to his mercy.

Ray: Especially since he stole my Atom suit.

Nate: Exactly. Wait, what? You let the shogun steal a 21st century super suit?

Ray: After I crash-landed, trying to rescue you.

Sara: And how does the shogun even know how to operate your Atom suit?

Ray: I designed it so an idiot could use it.

Mick: An idiot does.

Nate: You think I don't want to save the girl, spare the village, and be a hero for once in my damn life? I spent half of my childhood in a hospital, where it didn't even occur to me to dream about having superpowers. But guess what? I got them, I lost them, and now I really really need them and I can't get them back.

Ray: This isn't all about you! I worked for years, spent billions of dollars to develop the Atom suit. I nearly died learning to shrink! And now I need to teach you to destroy the very thing... the only thing that makes me a hero!

Nate: Wait. "Sematic overload" means "destroy the suit"?

Ray: Yeah, Nate. We can't beat the shogun while he's wearing the suit, so we have to blow the suit up. Your powers are within you. After today, I'll have nothing left. [walks away]

Ichiro Yamashiro: You remind me of my son.

Ray: Why? Was he a terrible teacher, too?

Ichiro: He was a great samurai. I built him the strongest and most formidable armor in all of Japan. Forged him a sword fit for an emperor.

Ray: What happened to him?

Ichiro: My son was popular with the men who served under him, and the shogun resented him for it. So he ordered to commence seppuku.

Ray: We will make sure that the shogun pays for what he's done to your family.

Ichiro: Maybe. Maybe not. But I ask you: would I rather hold my son again, or his armor?

Ray: Your son, obviously.

Ichiro: An armor's nothing but iron, leather and silk. It can be replaced. But a man who wears the armor is...

Ray: I get it. You're saying I don't need a suit of armor to defeat the shogun.

Ichiro: Don't be ridiculous. He'll kill you in seconds.

Nate: I know I have these powers inside me. I just can't figure out how to use them.

Masako Yamashiro: Does a child learn to laugh? Does he sit and practice laughing? No, he just does.

Nate: "Do or do not. There is no try."

Masako: Exactly! Where did you learn that?

Nate: From a great sensei from where I'm from. Yoda.

Masako: This master Yoda is very wise.

Mick: What are you staring at?

Amaya: I've figured you out.

Mick: Congratulations.

Amaya: You act like this selfish meathead, but secretly you're not so bad. You know, you might even have the makings of a hero.

Mick: That proves one thing. You don't know me.

Amaya: Perhaps not. [Throws a shuriken which embeds in Mick's sandwich on the table in front of him.]

Mick: Trying to kill me again?

Amaya: Trying to give you a present. In case you ever need proof you met an actual ninja.

Abominations [2.4]

Stein: This time period is replete with various perils. Perhaps it might be easier if you were to remain behind, and keep Doctor Palmer company.

Jax: Perhaps you should remain behind. [pause as Stein looks awkwardly sideways] No? Because you're not black? Because you think that me going back to 1863, I can't handle it?

Stein: That doesn't mean there's a need for you to subject yourself to the horrors that await you in that era!

Jax: Okay, now I get it might be difficult for you to understand this, but I've been black my entire life Gray. And honestly, I can't think of a time period we could go to where I wouldn't face some sort of racism. So don't worry, okay?

[The team returns to the Waverider]

Ray: Nice job blowing the time pirate's escape pod. Put another win in the mission column.

Jax: Did you not see what happened next?

Ray: No, I took a break, had to go the bathroom. [Jax throws up his hands in frustration] You OK?

Mick: We were attacked by zombies. And somebody put sprouts on my sandwich.

Jax: According to this guy's mission papers, he was going to get in disguised as the help.

Amaya: You mean slave? [Jax looks at Amaya wordlessly] We could've helped her, we should have.

Jax: Look, I've been doing this time-travel thing for a little while now, and if I've learned one thing it's you never know what's gonna change history which can have massive consequences. You think this doesn't make me angry as well? But we have a job to do, and if we don't do it, we can make things a lot worse.

[Amaya comes to rescue Jax]

Jax: What the hell was that?

Amaya: Don't you know a breakout when you see one? [frees Jax from his chains]

Jax: Okay, good. Now let's free them [points at the chained-up slaves]

Amaya: I thought you said that if we didn't do our job, we could end up doing more harm than good.

Jax: Yeah, that's still a risk.

Amaya: So what's changed?

Jax: The way these people are being treated. That's the real aberration. I can see that now. This is the history that needs to be fixed.

[Jax and Amaya nod at each other]

Stein: Are you homesick?

Jax: You checking up on me Gray?

Stein: Given what you've witnessed, what you've endured, would that really be so bad? You know you just witnessed the very worst of humanity. We share a psychic connection, yet I still can't even begin to fathom what you must be feeling. Must be like your heart is broken.

Jax: Yeah, it is. But I saw something in those people's eyes I didn't expect to see. I saw hope, I saw dignity. Those men and women? They were treated worse than animals, but they never let anybody stop them from being people, ya know?

Stein: I suppose there will always be those who will seek to dehumanize us, but I believe there are more that cling to hope, despite the darkness.

Jax: Yeah, that is exactly how they were.

Stein: I was actually thinking of you Jefferson.

Compromised [2.5]

Amaya: Women actually wore these things in the Eighties?

Nate: Shoulder pads? Yeah, they're supposed to make women more imposing. More, I dunno...

Amaya: Manly?

Nate: Yeah.

Amaya: I'd hope that by this decade, women wouldn't need to use clothing to compensate for their status. Surely by now, men and women are considered equals.

Nate: [smiling] Never lose that optimism.

[Ray and Mick are holding off White House guards with the Cold Gun and the "Hot Rod". Ray crosses the streams of the guns, causing an explosion that blasts both men off their feet.]

Mick: What'd I say about crossing streams?

Ray: You said we don't follow the rules.

Mick: That's the ONE rule! One rule we follow!

Stein: The truth is, this young man [points to his sleeping younger self] is like a stranger to me. Every time I encounter him, I can't imagine I was ever that person.

Ray: I think anyone would feel that way about meeting their younger self. I don't recognize my current self. Mick told me I need to be more like me. And he's right, which is rare.

Stein: Indeed.

Ray: Problem is, I don't know what being "me" means right now. I don't know if that makes any sense.

Stein: Of course it does. I think everyone struggles, at least on occasion, with who they are and what their place is in the world.

Ray: So what's the answer?

Stein: I have no idea. But... I suppose it's just to live. It's all any of us can really do. And hopefully, though the act of living, we discover who we truly are, and learn to grow from that.

Damien Darhk: You and I have met before. New York City, 1942. You haven't aged a bit. Lazarus pit? Oh, woman of mystery. I know that look in your eye, though. That's the look of someone that I've taken everything from.

Sara: Not everything. You haven't taken my soul. Which I've already lost, and I'm not eager to do again. And that's why... I'm sparing your life.

Darhk: How merciful of you.

Sara: I'm sparing you to prolong your suffering. 'Cause I'm from the future, Damien, and I know how this all ends. Your Ark. Your grand vision. Just as you're about to accomplish everything you desire, your wife is murdered. The love of your life. And in total despair, you even try to kill your own daughter. An entire city rises up against you. And then you die. Defeated and alone.

Amaya: [to Nate] He loved to sing. Henry. Your grandfather. He had a beautiful voice. During long convoys or stakeouts, he would serenade the team. He made it his personal mission to get me to sing along, but... he never succeeded. But when the chips were down, and all hope seemed lost, we could always count on Henry to lift our spirits. That's the kind of man your grandfather was.

Outlaw Country [2.6]

Jonah Hex: Where's Rip?

Sara: He's MIA.

Hex: Damn. How the hell did you miscreants manage not to get yourselves killed without him?

Amaya: Miss Lance has been serving as captain.

Hex: But she's a lady. You're a lady, right?

Sara: You know I can take your life as easy I saved it.

Hex: Oh, fiery. Whoever breaks her is in for a wild ride.

Mick: Too bad this filly's into other fillies.

Hex: You don't say.

Gideon: The bullet has lodged itself between several of Dr. Heywood's internal organs.

Ray: How's that possible? He's made of steel.

Sara: Because it wasn't a normal bullet. It was dwarf star.

Gideon: I estimate his chance of survival at 51%.

Nate: Ugh, would it kill you to say "better than average", Gideon?

Nate: I just thought becoming a superhero, I would spend less time in the library than my old job. So...

Ray: Well, research skills are kind of a superpower. And you can turn to steel. You got two.

Jax: What if when you interacted with your younger self in 1987, you...

Stein: Inadvertently changed my past so-so that my memories from my new life are supplanting the memories from my old life, that's creating temporal dissonance.

Jax: Yeah, that's exactly what I was thinking.

Ray: Uh, actually, there's something I've been working on before I start building a new exo-suit. It's, uh, not exactly what was in your drawing. I made a few improvements. [uncovers Nate's costume]

Nate: Shut the front door.

Ray: Yeah. I figured you earned it. Steel.

Nate: Cool name.

Invasion! [2.7]

Main article: Invasion! (Arrowverse)

This episode is Part Three of a crossover event called Invasion!. For quotations, see the related page.

The Chicago Way [2.8]

Nate: What just happened?

Ray: Well, it's the strangest thing. Two cops just escorted Eliot Ness to the Bureau.

Nate: They're not escorting him to the Bureau! They're gonna throw him in the river!

Ray: What?

Nate: Ray, 1920 Chicago PD was the most corrupt police force in history. Almost all of them were on Capone's payroll. Did you or did you not see The Untouchables?

Gideon: Special Agent Ness has suffered severe hypoxia. It will take some time to reverse his brain damage.

Nate: You can reverse brain damage? Why haven't you helped Rory out?

Gideon: Who says I haven't?

Malcolm Merlyn: The League taught you well. But unless you hand over the amulet, I'm gonna have to teach you a few new lessons.

Sara: Those who can not do, teach.

Ray: You know, if this is the week the Feds get Capone's ledger, why does it take four more years for them to take him down?

Nate: Because it's the Federal government.

Mick: What's that?

Amaya: It's a little present. For keeping me alive, and for almost helping me get Rex's killer. Open it.

[Mick opens the box, which contains a bottle of whiskey.]

Amaya: I lifted it back at Capone's warehouse.

Mick: You stole it.

Amaya: [smiling] You were right. The bad guys really do have more fun. [kisses Mick's cheek] Not that you're a bad guy. [Winks at him, then leaves.]

[Snart appears to Mick after Amaya leaves.]

Snart: I hope it was worth it. All this for a kiss on the cheek and a cheap bottle of booze. That speedster coulda killed you, Mick. What then?

Mick: I'll be dead like you.

[Mick is shown alone in the galley.]

Raiders of the Lost Art [2.9]

Amaya: What are you doing up so late?

Nate: Just trying to figure out what the Legion of Doom wants with those two amulets.

Amaya: The "Legion of Doom"?

Nate: Darhk, Merlyn and the speedster. It's from a Hanna-Barbera cartoon I liked when I was a kid.

Rip/Phil: What am I doing?

George: It wasn't that bad.

Rip/Phil: You saw him (the actor playing Vandal Savage). I just can't seem to get Peter to bring any... menace to the part.

Amaya: Gideon thinks that the Legion's attack on Mr. Hunter's film set caused this George Lucas guy to quit movie making. As a result, he never made some movie about space battles or another one about an improbably handsome archaeologist.

Sara: And we care about this because...?

Gideon: In the unaltered timeline, Dr. Palmer sees Star Wars as a child and is inspired to become an inventor. Likewise, Dr. Heywood chooses to be a historian after seeing Indiana Jones instead of becoming a yoga instructor.

Nate: Oh, man.

Sara: Wait, so you're telling me that because some film geek drops out of school, my inventor and my historian are now essentially useless?

Amaya: I'm sorry about my friends. They're just --

George: Completely insane.

Amaya: Yeah. But what they say is true.

George: Oh. Oh, okay, what, what, that you guys are from the future, that you've somehow seen a bunch of movies that I haven't even made yet?

Amaya: Well, actually, I'm from the past, but that's beside the point. Look, George, I don't care about movies. But guys like them... they do. So before you get in that car and drive back to Modesto, just think about them, okay? Them and all the millions of other people that your stories will someday inspire. The future of the entire world is at stake. And you're our only hope.

[Sara and Jax encounter Stein in the medical bay operating on Mick's head.]

Jax: Gray?

Sara: What the hell are you doing?

Stein: Brain surgery. What does it look like?

[Sara and Jax do a take and keep walking.]

The Legion of Doom [2.10]

[Early 2016, on the night of Damien Darhk's death]

Merlyn: What the hell is going on here?

Darhk: Excellent question. Here's another. Do you believe in second chances?

Merlyn: I just watched you die.

Darhk: Yeah, I hear 2016's not my best year, but I plan on fixing that.

Darhk: What's to keep Hunter's crew from finding the rest of the Spear before Merlyn finishes unscrambling Hunter's brain?

Eobard Thawne: The inner workings of the medallion are lost to history. Trying to get it to reveal its secrets will prove difficult, plus we have an additional advantage over them.

Darhk: Enlighten me.

Thawne: They're idiots.

Sara: How about instead of bickering, we figure out our next move against the speedster and his allies.

Nate: "Legion of Doom" has a sexier ring to it.

Sara: I'm not calling them that.

Merlyn: If anyone's a failure, it's you. You were the one who learned about Hunter's secret account, yet seemed not to know about a passcode! Sloppy, Damien. No wonder they passed you over for Ra's.

Darhk: [speaking to Rip/Phil] You see, this is where he reminds me that he was Ra's al Ghul. Poor Malcolm. Always living in the past.

Merlyn: This is when I remind you about your future. Awww. That's right. I've been there. I've seen how pathetic you are.

Darhk: In this 'future' that you're from, do I at least have... two hands?

Stein: I made a terrible mistake. I should never have brought Lily on board this ship.

Jax: She found out. She knows she's an aberration.

Stein: Mr. Rory spilled the beans, as predicted.

Jax: So what'cha gonna do?

Stein: What can I do?

Jax: Just tell her how you feel.

Stein: She knows how I feel, It goes without saying.

Jax: Yeah, for us, it does. We have a psychic connection, but for her? She just hears whatever comes out of that big brain of yours. Just tell her you love her. That's what Dads do.

Stein: Clearly, you never met my father. [sighs] You know, the... the reason Clarissa and I chose not to have children the first time around was because... I feared that history would repeat itself. That I would be the kind of father that he was.

Jax: We're Legends, Gray. Changing history is what we do.

Turncoat [2.11]

Jax: How long until Lily's interface tracks down another piece of the Spear of Destiny?

Sara: I dunno. I'm beginning to think our supercomputer is not so super.

Gideon: I heard that. You try processing 1.2 zetabytes of data.

Jax: Rip's probably being tortured by the Legion of Doom right now. The sooner we can locate another piece of the Spear, the sooner we can set a trap and rescue him.

Gideon: I could always reroute power to my sub-neural processing unit by shutting off life support.

Sara: Oh, you're lippy this morning, Gideon. I like it.

Gideon: I wasn't joking.

[Mick and Washington are led back to the British camp as prisoners]

Mick: I'm gonna find that skinny little Englishman and strangle him to death. You take the front, I'll take the rear.

George Washington: If we face them now, they will surely kill us, private.

Mick: They're gonna kill us anyway.

Washington: If the British wanted us dead, they'd have done it already. When we reach camp, I will talk to their commanding officer and arrange a prisoner exchange. There are rules to war.

Mick: Yeah, kill or be killed.

Washington: British high command will treat us honorably, just as I treat prisoners with honor.

Mick: Now I know why Franklin's on the $100 bill. I'll bet you a hundred yous you're wrong.

Washington: Excuse me?

Mick: Uh, forget it! I hate Christmas!

Washington: I've been a soldier since I was twenty years old. But our cause is the cause of all men. To be treated equally, regardless of hereditary privilege. We must prove to the world that you don't need a title to be a gentleman. The British may be dishonorable, but I am not. By my death, I will prove to the Crown what it means to be an American.

Mick: You don't know the first thing about being an American. We're misfits. Outcasts. And we're proud of it. If they attack in formation, we pop 'em off from the trees. If they challenge you to a duel, you raid their camp at night. And if they're gonna hang you, then you fight dirty. And you never, ever, give up. That's the American way.

General Cornwallis: Any last words?

Washington: In fact, I've learned a new word from my private:

[Mick grabs a rifle and fires it into the British ammunition pile, causing an explosion.]

Washington: "Ka-boom".

Jax: You didn't have to kill her. Sara wasn't supposed to die. Not like that. Not by you.

Rip: There's no rhyme nor reason to any of this, Jax. History is war and slavery and holding a dead son in your arms. There's no point in protecting history, so we might as well just burn it all down.

Camelot/3000 [2.12]

Ray: Apologies. You must get this all the time. But I must tell you, I am a really big fan.

Sir Galahad: A fan? So you make wind?

Ray: No. No, no, no, no, no, no. Well, I mean, maybe after all this food. [laughs] No, what I mean is I'm a big admirer of yours.

Galahad: You've heard tale of my exploits?

Ray: Yes! Yes! Since I was a wee lad! [sees Galahad not understanding] It's hard to explain.

Galahad: I am but a servant. It is my honor to serve the true inspiration of Camelot's glory - King Arthur. For was it not he who said that "might must serve right, lest it bloom into the cruel flower of tyranny"?

Ray: Yet another reason I love him.

[Nate sees Ray putting on his armor]

Ray: Hey. Now, it's not historically accurate, but I couldn't resist. [shows Nate his Atom suit underneath the armor and then channels the ionic energy through the sword]

Knight: It's like a sabre, made of light.

Ray: Yeah! Just don't call it a lightsaber. Major trademark issues, right?

Mick: Well, as much as Haircut's a pain in my ass, I'm not gonna let him fight alone. [starts to leave]

Sara: Sit down! That's an order.

Mick: [turns] What's an order?

Sara: Don't test me, Mick.

Mick: Don't threaten me, Blondie.

Stein: I can't believe I'm actually agreeing with Mr. Rory.

Sara: I said sit down!

Amaya: Stop! I've already lost one team. I'll be damned if my decision rips the Legends apart, too.

Sara: What are you saying?

Amaya: Listen to your gut, Captain. Don't abandon Ray. It may be sentimental, but the team should come before tactics.

Sara: All right. Let's do this.

Darhk: Give it up, Raymond. You're a glorified nerd, not a knight.

Ray: It's Sir Raymond of the Palms, and on behalf of my 12-year-old self, allow me to retort. [switches on "lightsaber" and duels Darhk]

Stein: Surely you must admit that it's not a superior intelligence, but rather the murky depths of your mind that proved vital.

Mick: [belches] Just admit it, my brain saved the day.

Stein: I will admit nothing of the sort.

Land of the Lost [2.13]

Amaya: Let me guess: you're afraid of snakes.

Nate: And you're not?

Amaya: Animals only lash out only if they're provoked or desperate. Your slithery friend wasn't trying to hurt you. He just thought you were part of the tree.

Nate: So you commune with all animals?

Amaya: Mm-hmm.

Nate: You're like an attractive Doctor Dolittle.

Ray: But hey, the sun is setting, maybe I should go out catch us an iguana and prepare some of my world-famous iguana soup.

Nate: Nah, I'm good. I brought energy bars from the ship.

Ray: What? Energy bars?

Nate: Mm-hmm.

Ray: Come on, Nate, we're in the Cretaceous Period. You have to at least try the local cuisine.

[Stein is pacing around the medical bay nervously.]

Mick: Sit down, Professor.

Stein: His heart is beating way too fast.

Mick: I said "Sit".

Stein: I know you think I'm overreacting-

Mick: No, I don't. You care for the kid. I get it. But the way you're acting's not doing him any favors.

Stein: Oh, how should I act, Mr. Rory?! Please enlighten me with your vast emotional wisdom!

Mick: Well, you seem to forget I had a partner, too. The reason Snart and I got on so well was, well, we... we trusted one another. We were friends. We had each other's backs.

Stein: Perhaps you've chosen the wrong analogy. Your partner... is dead.

Mick: Yeah, well, I'm still on the ship.

Stein: Your point?

Mick: You're not exactly a spring chicken, Professor.

Stein: Your point!

Mick: My point is you're not gonna be around for too much longer. And Jax has to learn how to do this stuff himself. Stop treating him like a kid, and more like a partner. [pushes his beer bottle into Stein's hands] Partner.

Sara: You're Gideon?

Gideon: Hello, Captain Lance.

Sara: But you're like... I mean, you're really...

Gideon: Human?

Sara: I was gonna say "hot", but yeah, that too.

Rip: Gideon.

Gideon: Yes, Captain?

Rip: I'm really sorry for everything I put you through.

Gideon: Forcing me to disable the ship? Or our kiss?

Rip: How did you...

Gideon: If it's the latter,... I rather enjoyed it.

Rip: [subdued] As did I, Gideon. As did I.

Moonshot [2.14]

Rip: I think I may have found a way to track Commander Heywood.

Stein: Don't worry, Mr. Hunter, we've already found him.

Rip: You did?

Jax: We're heading to Houston, 1970.

Mick: Yeah. Elvis at the Astrodome.

Nate: And then we're gonna rescue my grandfather.

Mick: Then Elvis.

Rip: We still need to figure out a way of contacting Commander Heywood without arousing suspicion. To that end, I suggest that we --

Sara: It's simple. We infiltrate NASA.

[Everyone else agrees, Sara claps Rip on the shoulder.]

[Professor Stein has just embarrassed himself by singing The Banana Boat Song inside Mission Control as a distraction, with Mick joining in.]

Flight Director: What the hell are you two playing at?

Jax: [over the radio] Okay. I got it. I cut the feed.

Stein: Oh, it's a... It's a British tradition, sir.

Flight controller: Flight! I had radio contact for a second, then I lost it again.

Mick: Nice voice, Professor.

Stein: Thank you very much.

Thawne: Menial labor without super-speed is really quite tedious. Then again, I've missed working with a fellow scientist. Cisco and Caitlin and I, as you know, worked together for some time and... I miss the camaraderie.

Ray: Legion of Doom doesn't have karaoke Fridays?

Thawne: I know it's easier for you to think of me as a monster, but, um... I've met some of history's monsters, Raymond, and believe me, I'm not one of them.

Ray: You killed Barry's mother. Twice. Rex Tyler. Brainwashed Rip into killing Doctor Mid-Nite.

Thawne: Time travel has a way of revealing the truth to you. And you and I have more in common than you think.

Ray: Pass me the pliers.

Thawne: [passing the pliers] We're both scientists. We're obsessed with achieving the impossible. You've dedicated your life to learning how to shrink yourself down to the size of an atom, and I spent mine learning the secrets of the Speed Force.

Ray: I became the Atom to help people.

Thawne: You could use the dwarf star in your exo-suit to power an entire city, but instead, you chose to become the Atom because you weren't satisfied with your small, pathetic life. There is no shame in wanting to be greater. To reach higher. To... walk on the Moon.

Ray: Is that why you want the Spear? Reach higher, become greater? Run faster?

Thawne: No. I'm after something much more... elemental. I want to live.

[Henry Heywood has sealed himself inside the cargo bay, preparing to sacrifice his life to save the ship.]

Nate: Hank! Hank! Hank! Don't! Don't do this!

Henry Heywood: I am so sorry, Nathaniel.

Nate: No. No, you open that door, the explosive decompression will suck you out.

Henry: If I don't, you will all die.

Nate: I can do it. Let me do it. I have powers now.

Henry: No. No. I won't let you risk your life. I have fulfilled my duty, protecting my piece of the Spear. But I'm just a grunt. Now it's your turn. You can figure out a way to destroy the Spear. Don't let it ruin another person's life.

Nate: Your son is at Mission Control. He's there. He's waiting for you. C'mon.

Henry: Give him a message for me. Tell him... I'm sorry for leaving.

Nate: Don't. Please don't, please don't.

[Henry winks at Nate, then opens the cargo bay door and gets pulled out into space.]

[Sara finds Rip having a drink in the parlor.]

Sara: Drinking alone?

Rip: Only as metaphor.

Sara: [pouring herself a drink] You in here feeling sorry for yourself?

Rip: Oh, no. I've got more than one way of feeling sorry for myself, surely.

Sara: Thanks for backing my play earlier.

Rip: I wasn't... entirely supportive on this mission.

Sara: Indeed. But still... must be hard, coming back to your ship and finding someone else in charge.

Rip: No. That was the easy part. The hard adjustment was seeing that you are a much better captain than I ever was.

Sara: So that's why you're in here feeling sorry for yourself.

Rip: I'm in here trying to figure out what my place is if I'm not this team's captain.

Sara: So you're saying you don't fit in. You're an outcast. A misfit.

Rip: Let's assume.

Sara: Sounds to me like you're a Legend.

[Sara and Rip regard one another, then clink glasses.]

Fellowship of the Spear [2.15]

Jax: What's your favorite candy?

Rip: Jelly beans. Why?

[Jax transmutates the container protecting a piece of the Spear of Destiny into jelly beans]

Jax: A little transmutation trick me and Gray have been working on.

Rip: [Walks over to eat a jelly bean] Both delicious and impressive, Mr. Jackson.

Sara: So, it looks like our historians have made a discovery.

J. R. R. Tolkien: According to this map, the blood of Christ is hidden right smack in the middle of no-man's land.

Rip: Great, right at the center of the bloodiest battle in human history.

Stein: Even if we were to make it through the terrain unscathed, there's still the issue of the blood's precise location.

Nate: That's the good news. Just as the Spear acted as a divining rod for its pieces, it glows when it's close to Jesus' blood.

Stein: But one cannot simply walk into the middle of a war zone.

Mick: You hear them, too, huh? The voices. What's the Spear saying to you?

Amaya: It's not the Spear. It's my mother. Her voice, at least. She's begging me to help our people. To keep our family and our legacy safe. She wants me to change my destiny.

Mick: Maybe the Spear can do that for her.

Amaya: The chance to rewrite reality. Who wouldn't be tempted? What do your hear?

Mick: My parents.

Amaya: What are they saying?

Mick: "Don't play with fire, Mick."

Rip: Attention, all combatants. May I have your attention, please? There are casualties on the battlefield. Brave men on both sides who are in urgent need of medical attention. I know that the divisions between us run deep, that they may very well be insurmountable. But I implore both of our armies for this one moment to come together as allies and honor a ceasefire, so that the injured may be removed from the field of battle. There may come a day when our courage fails us, when we forsake our friendships and break the bonds of fellowship. But today is not that day. And perhaps in showing our humanity, we might just save it.

Amaya: Now the Spear of Destiny is in the hand of not just one, but four psychopaths.

Stein: Don't forget Mr. Rory.

Jax: That's right. We trusted him and he screwed us over.

Ray: Did we? Trust him? I admit it, we never really did, and he picked up on it.

Rip: Apparently, Mr. Rory is not entirely stupid.

Doomworld [2.16]

Merlyn: You keep ignoring my requests of a meeting.

Thawne: Because there's no reason for one. Our partnership is ended. You got what you wanted. Your wife and your son are both alive and in good spirits. Your daughter Thea adores you. Nyssa al Ghul is trapped in a miserable, closeted life in the middle of Ohio, and hey, you can even clap again. What more could you possibly want?

Merlyn: How about the Spear of Destiny? There are still some things about this world that I want changed.

Thawne: How may times do I have to say this, Malcolm? The Spear is safest in my hands. Besides, I'm the only one who knows how to use it.

Merlyn: That's because you destroyed the Calebros Manuscript.

Thawne: Well, it's not my fault you don't retain information like I do. Speedster brains are handy that way.

Rip: Gideon... I've finally perfected my fondant bows. [places a fondant bow on top of an elaborately decorated three-tiered cake] What do you think?

Gideon: Your technique has vastly improved over the last year, Captain. These cakes are so much more creative than your biscuits.

Rip: Credit where credit is due, Gideon. Your idea of adding more gelatin to the mixture was pivotal.

Gideon: Well done. The best one yet, in my humble opinion.

Rip: It's a shame that you're the only one here to appreciate it.

Gideon: I'm sure your team would be just as impressed.

Rip: Assuming that they're all still alive.

Gideon: Perhaps you should resume your efforts to send a message out.

Rip: [shouting] What's the POINT, Gideon? The Legion have the Spear of Destiny! They're like gods now! There's no point in fighting. Not any more. [shoves the cake off onto the floor]

Darhk: I have a question for you. [leads Sara over to his collection of dead heroes masks] Which one is your favorite trophy?

Sara: [pretending to be Darhk's servant] That's like asking a girl to pick just one pair of shoes.

Darhk: Oh, please. Everyone has their favorite kill. You want to hear mine? Her name was Black Canary. I will never forget her. Hm. It was so... delicious... killing her. They told me that I had done it before, but I can't imagine it ever getting old.

[Sara punches Darhk in the face.]

Darhk: [lifting Sara in the air magically] The very first thing I did in this reality was acquire my magic. I'm gonna miss you, Miss Lance. Having you around to attend to my every whim was too enticing to pass up. Plus, it's so hard to find good help these days.

Snart: Really? Now's the time for a bad guy monologue?

Sara: Now remember, you guys are going in there without your powers.

Ray: Don't worry. I know that place like the back of my hand.

Amaya: What about Mick?

Sara: Mick's staying here. We can't trust him. [to Mick] Not after what you've done.

Mick: After what I've done? If it wasn't for me, you'd all be walking around like sheep.

Sara: If it wasn't for you, we never would've been turned into sheep in the first place. We trusted you, Mick. We can't afford to make that mistake again.

[After a melee between the Legends and the Legion, Mick recovers the Spear.]

Snart: Nice work, Mick. Now hand it over.

Ray: Mick, no. You already gave it to them once. You know what happened.

Darhk: That was Thawne. This time will be different, big boy.

Jax: Don't do this, Mick.

Amaya: Mick. I don't care what anyone else thinks. I still believe in you.

Snart: ENOUGH! Mick... hand it over. Like a good boy.

Mick: You mean "a good dog". That's all I am to you. An attack dog.

Snart: Now that's not true. Sure, we both know you're not the sharpest tool in the shed, but... that's why we're partners. Remember?

Mick: You're right. I'm not a genius. [tosses the Spear in front of Amaya] But I'm no one's dog, Leonard. Not anymore.

Aruba [2.17]

Ray: [upon seeing his Atom suit] Ah. Yes. Oh, I have missed you. [kisses the suit's helmet]

Jax: Really, dude?

Ray: [to the suit] I will never, ever leave you again.

Jax: Rip, we found the suit. You need to close in on our position before I have to watch Ray do any more weird stuff.

Rip: On route.

Ray: Weird stuff?

Jax: Yeah. You got issues, dude.

Doomworld Mick: What the hell are you staring at?

Mick: Just imagining what you'd look like without teeth.

[Sara is in a Spear of Destiny-induced vision watching "The Wizard of Oz" with Laurel]

Laurel: Well, the cork broke off, but I think I managed to salvage it. Here. [hands Sara a glass of wine] To doing movie night more often. [clinks glasses with Sara]

Sara: This never happened. This is the Spear doing this. This isn't real.

Laurel: No, it's not. But it can be. You can remake reality however you see fit.

Sara: You were always the better of us, Laurel. [gives Laurel the Spear] You were the strong one. I'm damaged.

Laurel: I know. [gives Sara back the Spear]

Sara: The Gambit. Lian Yu. League of Assassins. You dying. I could take it all back.

Laurel: But you won't.

Sara: Everything that has happened to me, all the suffering that I endured... it's all led to this moment, hasn't it?

Laurel: [nods] The Spear doesn't need someone pure of heart. It needs someone strong enough to do the right thing. Sara, it needs you.

Sara: Even if doing the right thing means not having you back.

Laurel: I'm never too far away.

Sara: [hugs Laurel] I love you.

Laurel: I love you, too.

Snart: Should've done this in France, Mick. Could've saved us both a lot of time.

Mick: I didn't bring you here to kill you, Leonard.

Snart: So what are we doing here?

Mick: This is where Thawne recruited you for the Legion. I'm gonna wipe your memory and put you on the right path.

Snart: You mean the path where I join up with some Brit twit and die trying to save the world.

Mick: No. You die trying to save your friends.

Snart: Still a death sentence.

Mick: You know what your punishment is, Leonard? You end up being a better man, and so do I.

Snart: "Better"? You mean "softer".

Mick: No. I mean "better". [wipes Snart's memory]

Sara: Mick, you wanna do the honors, plot a course? You earned it.

Mick: Gideon, set a course for Aruba.

Gideon: Roger that, Mr. Rory. Setting a course for Aruba, the year 2017.

[Turbulence rocks the Waverider.]

Amaya: What was that?

Stein: This is what happens when you put Mr. Rory in charge of navigation.

[The Waverider is shaken harder.]

Gideon: In fact, it was another time-storm. It seems the disruption you created in 1916 was just the start.

[The Waverider is ejected from the temporal zone]

Ray: We've been ejected out of the temporal zone!

Sara: Get ready for a hard landing.

Jax: Oh, come on! Can we please go five minutes without crashing the Waverider?

[The Waverider smashes through buildings and crashes to the ground.]

Sara: Is everyone okay?

Mick: This ain't Aruba.

Gideon: No. This is Los Angeles 2017.

Ray: Ooooh boy.

[Everyone gazes out the front windows.]

Sara: Guys... I think we broke time.

[Zoom-out to show dinosaurs and futuristic buildings in modern-day Los Angeles.]

Voiceovers

The opening voiceovers for Season 2 episodes were mostly done individually, with differing openings made by a different character, hero or villain.

Opening voiceover by Stein
The Time Masters were an organization charged with protecting history from rogue time travelers, but they were destroyed. Under the leadership of Rip Hunter, we have taken up their mantle. Sara Lance, former member of the League of Assassins. Dr. Raymond Palmer, the Atom. The arsonist Mick Rory. And Firestorm, the merged superform of Jefferson Jackson and myself, Martin Stein. We are the only ones left to protect history. We are the Legends of Tomorrow.

Opening voiceover by Sara
My name is Sara Lance. Last year, a former Time Master named Rip Hunter recruited a team of heroes and villains to save the world, and we did. But in the process, we destroyed the Time Masters. Now, we've taken up their mantle of protecting the timeline from time criminals. We are no longer saving the world. We are saving history. But don't call us heroes. We are Legends.

Opening voiceover by Nate
My name is Nate Heywood. Time travel is real, and all of history is vulnerable to attack by rogue time travelers. But one group travels throughout time to stop the spread of these so-called time aberrations and erase their damage to history. A group of outcasts and misfits, these individuals aren't heroes. They're something else. They're Legends.

Opening voiceover (for various episodes) by Stein, Jax, Amaya, and Sara
Time travel is real, and all of history is vulnerable to attack. Which is why we must travel through time to stop the spread of these so-called "time aberrations" and to erase their damage to history. We are a team of outcasts and misfits, so please don't call us heroes. We're Legends.

Opening voiceover by Darhk
My name is Damien Darhk. In 2016, I was murdered by the Green Arrow. But I was removed from the timeline 31 years before my death by a speedster from the future named Eobard Thawne. Together with Malcolm Merlyn, the former head of the League of Assassins, the three of us are going to locate the Spear of Destiny, a mystical object which can rewrite reality itself. With the Spear in our possession, we will change our past, and our future, and the world as you know it.

Opening voiceover by Mick
Seriously. You idiots haven't figured this out by now? It all started when we blew up the Time Pigs - the Time Masters. Now history's all screwed up, and it's up to us to un-screw it up. But half the time, we screw things up even worse. So don't call us heroes. We're something else. We're Legends. Who writes this crap, anyway?

Opening voiceover by Thawne
My name is Eobard Thawne. With the help of Damien Darhk, Malcolm Merlyn, Leonard Snart and Mick Rory, I've obtained the Spear of Destiny. An ancient artifact with the power to rewrite reality itself. And we have. It's a brave new world.

Season 3

Opening voiceover
How will we be remembered? Will it be for saving the world twice? Nope! We're the team who broke time. That's right, history has been torn to shreds. Which means it's up to us to put it back together again, piece by piece. Fixing these so-called anachronisms before we get torn to shreds. So please, don't call us heroes. We're Legends.

Aruba-Con [3.1]

Ray: [to Agent Sharpe] Lady, why are you so mean?

Sara: Maybe it's that poly-blend pantsuit that's got her so grumpy.

Nate: I didn't know Men's Warehouse gave group discounts.

Ava Sharpe: What's the matter with you people? Do you want to get shot?

Nate: Totally rather get shot than look like a Sears model.

Jax: Come on, Gray. A chance to meet Julius Caesar and fix history. We have a time ship. We can get you home in time for dessert.

Stein: That's what I told Clarissa the last time I left.

Ray: And when you came home, you had a surprise daughter.

Stein: Your point?

Nate: The point is, sometimes we screw things up for the better.

Sara: That's a good motto. We should use that.

[Sara is fighting Caesar]

Ray: Uh, shouldn't we help her?

Nate: It's him I'm worried about.

[Sara defeats Caesar]

Jax: Ye-ah, I'd say our work here is done.

Stein: And to quote the great conqueror himself: "We came, we saw,...

Ray and Nate: [together] We kicked Caesar's ass! [high five]

Jax: You know, I've taken these engines apart so many times, feels like this ship is a... part of me.

Stein: It is a part of you, that you can take on whatever adventure life offers you next.

Jax: [scoffs] What adventure could be better than this one? I mean, I got to be a superhero who travelled through time changing history.

Stein: Yes, I know.

Jax: Look, I know you wanna do the whole "Grandad" thing. Smoke a pipe by the fire. But I got a whole lotta life left, and I have no idea how to fill it.

Stein: Jefferson, you are, hands down, the most gifted, capable, driven young man I've ever known. You can do anything you want to do.

Jax: Well, that's all well and good, but what I want to do is be half of a nuclear-powered superhero. And I can't do that if you don't want to.

Sara: Well, like Nate said, sometimes we screw things up for the better.

Rip: I fail to see how that's true in this case.

Mick: It's our new motto.

Rip: New motto? Right, does that mean you plan to continue swashbuckling your way through history?

Sara: With the Time Bureau's permission, of course.

Rip: And if I deny you permission?

Sara: We'll do it anyways.

Freakshow [3.2]

Sara: Perfect. We're bringing the circus to the circus

Ray: This is a classic slice of Americana. The air is thick with the smell of popcorn, candy and wonder.

Mick: If I see a clown, I'm outta here.

Jax: What, you afraid of clowns?

Mick: No. I... just don't like their stupid faces and funny shoes and... razor-sharp teeth.

Amaya: I didn't go to Zambesi. Not right away. First, I went to Detroit.

Nate: Detroit.

Amaya: I had to see her in person. Mari. My granddaughter. I had to see if she was as incredible as people said she was. I watched her save five people in one night. She never knew I was there, but I knew that she was perfect. I know it doesn't help, but my decision to leave had nothing to do with you.

Nate: You're right, it doesn't. 'Cause if your "Bad-at-it" granddaughter was in 2017, why'd you have to go back to 1942?

Amaya: I asked Rip the same question. He said that time hadn't yet solidified. But if I stayed too long in 2017, then Mari would disappear.

Nate: Why didn't you say anything? [pause] I hated you for what you did.

Amaya: I needed you to hate me. So that you would move on. If you knew how much it hurt me -

Nate: I would have found you.

Amaya: I wanted to protect my granddaughter, and I wanted to protect you.

Nate: Well, no offense, Amaya, but considering we're both stuck in a rhino cage, I'd say your plan backfired.

Gideon: Agent Sharpe has boarded the Waverider.

Sara: Get Rory. You two have to save the others.

Stein: Wait, the two of us? Are you mad?

Sara: You can do this. I have faith in you.

Stein: Why?

Sara: Just go! I'll hold her off as long as I can.

Sharpe: I don't believe the anachronism has been dealt with.

Gideon: Believe it, Agent Sharpe. As I've already communicated to Director Bennett, 1870 Wisconsin is anachronism-free.

Sara: Ah, even our A.I. doesn't like you.

Sara: We got a new problem. Rip has been hiding something from us. There's a greater evil coming. Something even the Time Bureau is afraid of.

[There is dramatic silence. Then, everyone bursts out laughing.]

Jax: [amused] What could be worse than an immortal Egyptian demigod?

Stein: [also amused] Or an evil speedster?

Ray: [shaking his hands in mock fear] I'm afraid of the Time Boogeyman.

Nate: [laughing] I'm literally crying.

[Everyone keeps on laughing.]

Zari [3.3]

[Amaya wakes up from sleepwalking, during which she had taken the form of a spider]

Nate: Are you okay?

Amaya: I was having a nightmare.

Stein: And in the process, summoned the ashay of a spider. Astonishing!

Amaya: No, Martin, it isn't. What if I summoned a rhino and I crashed through the hull of the ship? Or a lion and I mauled someone?

Stein: Well, if the victim was Mr. Rory, I guess...

Zari Adrianna Tomaz: You guys are time-traveling superheroes?

Ray: Yeah! We've actually saved the world, twice. Not that we're counting.

Zari: Really? You saved the world?

Ray: Twice!

Zari: Then why does it still suck?

Amaya: What is this place?

Amaya's Ancestor: You are in the world between worlds.

Amaya: Who are you?

Amaya's Ancestor: I am your blood, I am all who have come before you. [takes Amaya's hand] I can feel the fear inside you. It is a burden that weighs heavy on your heart.

Amaya: My totem. I can feel it growing stronger. I fear that I'm losing control over it.

Amaya's Ancestor: You can't stop the forces of nature. No more than you can stop a charging stallion. You must learn to run beside it.

Amaya: Why is it getting stronger?

Amaya's Ancestor: The totem's strength grows when the threats that you must face become more powerful. But you cannot face this new threat alone. You must find the girl. She needs your protection. Do not fail this, new totem-bearer. Do not resist your power. Trust in it.

Ray: Zari. Look, I don't want to fight. But we gotta go, we can't stay here, it's not safe.

Zari: I don't understand. They're not here. Nobody's here. They were supposed to meet me here, this was supposed to be our janna.

Ray: Janna?

Zari: Means "sanctuary" in Arabic. [gets up with her totem in hand] My brother had powers because he wielded this. He fought against A.R.G.U.S.'s injustices, so he was hunted. We all were. The night we were leaving, A.R.G.U.S. raided our house, killed my brother, and took the only part that's left of him.

Ray: And that's how you got caught. Trying to steal it the first time.

Zari: Yeah, I couldn't let A.R.G.U.S. keep it. With my brother gone, I needed its power to help me protect my parents.

Ray: Maybe they got away.

Zari: Where? Can't you see there's nowhere left to go? This was our last hope.

Gideon: I think we can safely say our Time Bureau problem is... Oh, bollocks. Perhaps I spoke too soon.

Sara: What is it?

Gideon: Incoming transmission from Agent Sharpe.

Sara: [sighs] Put her on. [transmission turns on] Oh, hey, Ava. How was your day?

Sharpe: You do realize that little stunt you pulled could have destroyed us both.

Sara: You tried to kill us first.

Sharpe: No, I tried to warn you first. But you don't take warnings, do you?

Sara: Now you're starting to get it.

Sharpe: Well, this isn't a warning, it's a promise. If I ever track you down again, you and your band of idiots will be exiled to the Dawn of Time. Whatever leniency Hunter gave you is over. [ends transmission]

Gideon: What a bitch!

Sara: You took the words right out of my mouth, Gideon.

Phone Home [3.4]

Ray: What makes a hero? Is it powers? Strength? Bravery? No. A hero is forged by his or her relationships, our bonds of brotherhood or sisterhood. That is why I'm taking you all through the ten-step team-building process I perfected at Palmer Tech. Step 1, part 1: icebreakers.

Jax: Dude, we've been stuck on a ship that has one bathroom. I think we know each other well enough.

Stein: And your timing couldn't be worse, given that we're being chased by a water-wielding assassin and the Time Bureau.

Ray: We need to grow as a team. First up is "Two Truths and a Lie". [Sara shakes her head] It's gonna be fun.

Mick: Lie.

Ray: I haven't started yet. Look, I know you guys probably think this is lame–

Sara: Truth.

Ray: But we have a new crew member, and it is important for Zari to bond with us. Not only as team members, but as individuals.

Zari: Yeah, well, I'm no hero and I'm not a member of any team. Besides, I already have you all figured out. The old guy wants to be anywhere but on this ship. [Walks by Amaya and Nate] These two have some "will they, won't they" thing going on. [Nate nods]. Rory's been drunk since breakfast. [Mick tips his beer at her] Jax is wondering if I'm single. And your ship's still mad at me for doing a teeny hack on her sub-systems. Now, what's this about one bathroom?

[Most everyone else starts denying what she said, talking all at once.]

Ray: [enthusiastic] Can't wait to show you guys my home. First, we have to go to Pizza Master. Best slice in town. Then we have to go to Video Village. I can tell you how much of my allowance I spent there–

Zari: So, you're always this positive. Even when you're dead. How can you pretend like everything's okay?

Ray: I..I'm not pretending, I believe it. I found that if I can trust in myself, I can believe everything's okay. And it usually is. It's called "positive thinking". Give it a shot.

Zari: [to Jax] Is he for real? [Jax grimaces and nods.]

[Ray and Zari open the closet to find the baby Dominator]

Zari: Leave it to young you to see the best in that thing. Though you were pretty lonely.

Ray: What? I wasn't lonely! I was just choosing to focus on my studies. This is probably just my scientific curiosity getting the better of me, again.

[Microwave beeps]

Young Ray: [off-screen] Popcorn's ready!

Zari: Aren't you supposed to be in school?

Ray: Oh my God.

Zari: Yeah, this is a problem.

Ray: No. Yesterday, I was shoplifting. Today I'm a truant. This thing is turning me into Rory.

[Stein enters the jump-ship]

Mick: Going somewhere, Professor?

Stein: I don't have time to explain. I'm taking the jump-ship, whether you like it or not.

[Mick rips out part of the jump-ship's controls]

Jax: Yo, Mick. Come on, man, I just souped this baby up.

Stein: Jefferson, please, I need you to help me get out of 1988.

Jax: Help you? After you've been lying to me? You've been sneaking out on us, you erased the jump logs. You're working with the Time Bureau!

Stein: What? Never!

Mick: What's in your back pocket, Professor?

Stein: It's a trans-temporal communicator.

Jax: So you can talk to your little Time Bureau friends.

Stein: No, so I can talk to my– [the communicator beeps and Lily's face comes on it]

Lily: Hey, Dad!

Stein: –my daughter.

Lily: [realises Jax and Mick are in the room] Oh, and all you guys.

Jax: Hey, Lily.

Lily: Dad, I think it's time. We're heading to the hospital now. You're gonna be here, right?

Stein: How can I miss the birth of my first grandchild?

Lily: Good, 'cause... this baby's coming. Okay, I will see you there. Bye, Dad. [disconnects]

Stein: I took the jump-ship back to 2017 so I could give Lily the other communicator.

Jax: And you wiped the jump logs. Why?

Stein: Because I wanted you to know that I'm committed to you, and to the team! I made the decision to stay, and I needed you to know that I meant it. Clearly, my subterfuge has robbed me of the chance to be at the birth of my grandchild.

Mick: No! We can take the Waverider.

Stein: What about the rest of the team?

Jax: I'm sure they'll manage.

Stein: You're serious.

Jax: Gray! It's your first grandkid! Why would you think I'd want you to miss that? C'mon, man, let's go!

Stein: [holding his grandchild] I'm so glad I could be here to welcome you into this world. I'm sure it's overwhelming, and I'm sorry to say it doesn't really ever go away. But this place, it's also full of wonders. Wonders that I'm discovering even now. [Jax walks up] Hey.

Jax: You know, I'm sorry, man. You almost missed this because of me, because I didn't trust you on–

Stein: No, I should've been... I should've been honest with you from the beginning. You're as much a part of this family as Lily and Clarissa, and now this little guy, Ronnie. It's perfect that you're here with us, right now.

Return of the Mack [3.5]

Ray: You sure you want do this? Break up Firestorm?

Jax: Well, I'm sure Gray wants off the ship, and I'm sure that can't happen if we're still bonded with each other, so...

Ray: Yeah, but your bond isn't just physical. You guys have been psychically bonded for over three years.

Jax: Yeah, and it's been no picnic, let me tell you. Last time I got laid, afterward Gray said to me: "Well done, Jefferson". I mean...

Ray: I could've done without knowing that.

Rip: Captain Lance, need I remind you we are no longer just fixing ordinary anachronisms here? Mallus is the only game that matters.

Sara: No, it's your game. We have to stop Damien Darhk from coming back to life.

Rip: And we will. But from all indications, Mallus is coming here to recruit Darhk. If we destroy Darhk's body, we destroy any chance of apprehending Mallus at the resurrection ceremony.

Nate: If Sara says kill Darhk, or re-kill Darhk, or prop him up in a convertible like Weekend at Bernie's, that's what we do, because she's the captain.

Rip: I know you all want to destroy Darhk once and for all. You're just gonna have to be patient.

Amaya: I'm concerned about you. I know that you think that woman channeled your brother.

Zari: His name was Behrad. The night A.R.G.U.S. came for us, I ran. I knew he was staying to fight, but I was scared. I left my brother there to die. You happy? Now you know my secret.

Amaya: Sorry–

Zari: [removes her amulet] Yeah, I don't want this anymore, whatever's going on with it or with us, I... I don't care.

Amaya: That totem is your only remaining connection to him.

Zari: It's not a connection. It's a reminder... that I should've been the one who died.

Rip: Your so-called master, where is he?

Madame Eleanor: Mallus is everywhere and nowhere, refracted in every moment of time. He is dead, he is risen, and he will come again.

Rip: Right, well, that's very cryptic, but I demand to speak to him.

Eleanor: Oh, well, very well. [gets possessed by Mallus].

Mallus: [via Eleanor] Director Hunter. A pleasure to meet you.

Rip: Oh, I'm not here to speak to your puppet. I think it's about time you and I met face-to-face.

Mallus: [via Eleanor] [laughs] You cannot look upon my true form and live. While you are hopelessly mortal, I am a god!

[The blood moon resurrects Darhk and Mallus leaves Eleanor's body]

Eleanor: You're too late.

Darhk: It's good to be back. [looks at his wrist] Who stole my watch?

Sara: We need to talk.

Rip: By now, you know me better than to expect an apology.

Sara: Agents are dead because of you.

Rip: They understood the risks of their profession. [pause as they look at each other] But we learned so much from the events of last night. Next time–

Sara: There won't be a next time, Rip. You show up out of nowhere, practically begging for our help, and then you betray us. You've gone rogue from every organization that you've ever been a part of. Because you don't trust anyone. And I don't know how I could've ever trusted you.

Rip: But Sara, I need you with me now more than ever.

Sara: Do you remember when you told me you had nothing left to teach me? I guess you had one final lesson. [Time Bureau agents enter the Waverider through a portal] How to be a cold son-of-a-bitch.

Helen Hunt [3.6]

Nate: [coming out of the library] Oh, hey, Sara. Sara. I've been searching for more outliers in hopes of finding Darhk and his witchy friend. [to the ceiling] You'd think having a super-computer would be helpful!

Gideon: Watch yourself, Mr. Heywood.

Nate: Anyways, there's no sign of them in the timeline.

[Sara sniffs the air, then turns to Nate]

Sara: What is that smell?

Nate: Okay, full disclosure: I haven't left the library in seven days. I think. Is it Tuesday? I'm not really sure. It's hard to really keep track of time in a temporal zone.

Sara: Shower. Now.

Nate: Okay. I'll shower after I find Darhk. I know how much it means to you to find him.

Sara: Look, we're gonna put Darhk back in the ground where he belongs, but not like this.

Nate: Not like what?

Sara: Not like Rip. He lost perspective and he got his team killed. I'm not gonna be that kind of captain. But I am the kind of captain that tells you to clean yourself up. Okay?

Nate: Aye aye.

Nate: What happened?

Stein: [inside Jax's body] Yes. Pray tell, Doctor Palmer, what exactly happened to us, because it seems we are in a particularly precarious situation that I, for one, have no idea how to remedy.

Jax: [inside Stein's body] Why don't we just merge?

Stein: [inside Jax] Out of the question! Absolutely not. We have switched bodies. Who knows what else may have shifted. Merging now could cause a meltdown of insurmountable proportions. We just... we just can't afford the risk.

[Nate laughs hysterically, partly due to lack of sleep.]

Nate: [still amused, pointing to Jax] You're the Professor, [points to Stein] and you're Jax. [starts laughing again] They switched.

Sara: [to herself] Must be Tuesday.

[Amaya and Zari enter the room.]

Amaya: What's going on?

Ray: Oh, we seem to have a bit of a Freaky Friday situation

Jax: [inside Stein] I'm Jax

Stein: [inside Jax] And I'm Martin.

Zari: Cool.

Zari: I thought the Helen of Troy story was just a myth.

Ray: Well, we found that myths tend to have some truth about them. This one more than most.

Nate: Helen and her lover Paris set off a ten-year war that launched thousands of ships and set tens of thousands of men off to their death. All in the name of her beauty.

Zari: You make it sound like it's her fault. Men always find a reason to fight. That's not on her.

Mick: Depends. How hot is she?

Nate: [turning away from everyone else] I mean, she's all right. [mouthing whisper to Mick] She's really hot.

[Stein is inside Jax's body, and Jax is inside Steins's body.]

Stein: [preparing to go on a mission] Finally, a positive side effect to our predicament. I'm absolutely giddy at the notion of attending a 1930's Hollywood gala. Maybe I'll rub elbows with Clark Gable or dance with Ginger Rogers.

Jax: You have a little extra fun for me, Gramps. In this, I'm out. [sits down tiredly]

Stein: Why? What's wrong?

Jax: I'm wasted, man. My joints ache, I feel like I'm walking underwater, and I have to use the bathroom, like all the time.

Stein: I assure you, the moment we get Helen back to her proper time, we will fix this.

Jax: [looking at himself through Stein's eyes] Damn, I look good.

Helen of Troy: I don't want to overstep, but may I ask? What gods gave you such incredible powers?

Zari: Uh, the gods didn't give us powers. Well, maybe they kinda did for Amaya and me, but the captain's a self-made woman. Sara trains every day, she's a total bad-ass.

Helen: She's a captain too?

Zari: Yeah.

Helen: It gives me hope, knowing that you've come from a time where women have the same opportunities as men.

Zari: Yeah, I wouldn't say that.

Helen: Anywhere must be better than where I came from. I spent the last five years alone, locked-up in a tower. My only view is the distant battle waging below, men killing each other. For what? Me. And now you want to send me back to that hellish place.

Welcome to the Jungle [3.7]

[Amaya is punching a punching bag while Nate steadies it]

Nate: Everything okay? You're hitting the bag like it's insulting your mother. And you haven't said anything for like, thirty minutes.

Amaya: What is there to say?

Nate: I don't know, talk about your granddaughter? [Amaya resumes punching the bag] And not the superhero either, the psycho water witch.

Amaya: The who?

Nate: Your granddaughter. I mean, I'm sure she's really not that bad.

Amaya: You just called her a psycho water witch.

Nate: Yeah, and I instantly regret it. I'm she just, you know, confused.

Amaya: Well, I'm not. Kuasa and I will confront each other again. It's inevitable. When we do, I won't hesitate to stop her, even if she is my granddaughter. [leaves]

Nate: Okay, good talk. Good to get the emotions out.

Nate: Look. I'm sorry you have to see your father, but you need to suck it up!

Mick: If it wasn't for this time-traveling stuff, I would have never run into that bastard.

Nate: Okay. You know what? We're changing this operation. This has become Operation: Tough Love. Yeah. I'm gonna go all Dr. Phil on your ass. It's time for you to man up and sort out–

Mick: Daddy issues.

Nate: I was gonna say "unresolved grief", but let's go with what you're saying.

Mick: You wanna know why I've never seen a shrink?

Nate: Why?

Mick: I don't regret killing my old man.

Nate: [swallows] What?

Mick: That's right, Pretty. You heard me. I let my old man burn to death. How's that for tough love?

Ray: Look, I'm sure it's not easy learning that your granddaughter is in league with Damien Darhk. If you ever want to talk about it...

Amaya: What happened to men? When did you all start talking about your feelings?

Ray: Uh... early nineties?

Jax: [speaking to the comatose Sara] I've never told anybody this before, but... I'm scared. I don't know who I am if I'm not a part of Firestorm. But then, you've never had any superpowers and that's never stopped you from being the most kick-ass person I've ever met. Well, good talk, Captain. [fist bumps Sara's limp hand]

Dick Rory: They say life is the sum total of all the choices you make. As your misfortune sinks in, maybe you want to ask yourself: "What choices did I make to find myself here?" Today, I want payback for what that monster did to my men, my brothers.

Ray: Uh, excuse me–

Mick: Shut up.

Ray: We're... we're journalists–

Mick: Shut up.

Ray: And we've uncovered a plot to kill President Johnson. We need to alert the proper authorities.

Dick: Shut up.

Mick: See?

Zari: He's telling the truth.

Amaya: The president landed in Vietnam, but we can still save him.

Dick: You're reporters. What are you gonna do? Question him to safety?

Ray: It's a little more complicated than that, but just trust me, okay? We're the good guys.

Dick: Haven't you heard? There are no good guys here.

Crisis on Earth-X, Part 4 [3.8]

Main article: Crisis on Earth-X

This episode is Part Four of a four-part crossover event called Crisis on Earth-X. For quotations, see the related page.

Beebo the God of War [3.9]

Jax: Man, can you believe Sara? She doesn't trust me around young Stein!

Nate: So you're saying you weren't planning on warning Martin about him dying?

Jax: Okay, fine. But c'mon man. Gray dies, and then all of a sudden his younger self gets displaced in time?

Nate: I know, it's crazy that we keep bumping into ourselves.

Jax: Yeah.

Nate: I mean, Ray and the baby Dominator, and Sir Stein and his killer 'stache?

Jax: Mick's dad. I mean, this can't just be a coincidence. [Amaya and Ray walk in] What if this is fate's way of saying we should step up? That we can actually improve things?

Amaya: Martin made his choice, Jax. We should be honoring his sacrifice, not trying to undo it.

Jax: Yeah, but it's Gray. I mean, how can we not tell him?

Ray: Because what if knowing about his death makes young Marty choose not to create the Firestorm matrix? Or meet you? Or step foot on the ship? He never would've wanted you to risk the present to save him in the past.

Jax: And how exactly do you know what he would've wanted, Ray? You weren't psychically connected to him for three years!

[Sara and Sharpe, along with the other Legends, have infiltrated the Vikings' colony in period dress.]

Sharpe: As far as strategy goes, this would not be my first pick.

Sara: Why not? They welcomed us in, we get Beebo, we get out.

Sharpe: The Bureau has rules about fraternizing with the locals. And these costumes are ridiculous.

Sara: Nah, you look good.

Sara: Okay, here's the deal. Back-up is not coming. The Time Bureau thinks the Darhks can't be defeated, and they're probably right. Leo asked us to talk about our feelings. Well, my feeling is that history needs us to stop the Darhks, but after losing Stein I can't lose anyone else. I need you guys to take the Waverider and leave.

Jax: Not without you.

Amaya: You can't face Darhk alone.

Sara: I have a plan.

[Jax visits Stein in 1992 after trying to warn him about his death with a letter.]

Jax: The letter, you never read it.

Stein: That's because I already burned it.

Jax: What?

Stein: I was tempted, to be sure. I thought a lot about that date, November 28, 2017. I'll be 67 then, I'll have had adventures, watched my daughter grow up, and I'll have made a friend who's willing to risk far far too much for me.

Jax: No, no, I'm trying to save you!

Stein: You need to let me go. We both know you shouldn't be here. I may have a life ahead of me, but to you I'm a ghost.

Jax: No [shakes his head].

Stein: I'm not gonna cheat death. Jefferson, none of us live forever. And yet, I clearly live a wonderful life with many chapters. And if I had one wish, it wouldn't be for me to prolong my life. It would be for you to live yours and to have all the happiness you deserve.

Jax: Okay. Goodbye, Gray.

Stein: Goodbye, Jefferson.

[They shake hands]

Jax: [giving his farewell speech] When Gray first dragged me on board this ship, I thought it was the last place that I wanted to be. I mean, you were all a bunch of screw-ups. B-list superheroes, washed-up bank robbers... no offense. But, uh, the thing is... when you get a bunch of broken pieces and you put 'em all together the right way, you make something new. And suddenly, they don't feel so broken anymore. And I'm pretty sure that's what a family is. So, uh... I don't know what happens next, but I know I'll always have a family here, with you guys.

Daddy Darhkest [3.10]

Mick: I thought we gave the Englishman to the Time Pigs.

Sara: That was Rip. This is John Constantine.

Mick: Skinny brit in a trenchcoat. Same thing.

John Constantine: Oooh, doubtful, mate. You see, I'm an accomplished warlock, an expert of the occult, and a master of exorcism. I'm also a Taurus, for those of you taking notes. [winks at Leo Snart of Earth-X].

[Sara has just finished speaking with Ava.]

Leo Snart of Earth-X: Aw.

Sara: What?

Leo: First, I apologize for interrupting. Second, that woman clearly has a crush on you.

Sara: Just don't.

Leo: Come, come, Captain. She called you for absolutely no reason. It was just an excuse to talk. To you.

Sara: Mmm-hmmm.

Leo: Gideon, play back that last bit, please.

Sara: Gideon, don't!

[Gideon plays a brief clip of Ava's reaction to a remark of Sara's.]

Leo: Head down, eyes up, cheeks flushed. Classic courtship signals.

Sara: Even if it was -- and it is not -- we're completely different people.

Leo: I dunno. You're both strong women, you're both obsessed with repairing time, you're both... super hot. [off Sara's look] Gay. Not blind.

[The others are talking while Mick is trying to watch his first live football game in three years.]

Nate: Z, will you please tell her that talking to Kuasa is a bad idea?

Zari: No.

Amaya: Thank you. I refuse to accept that my granddaughter is pure evil.

Nate: Fine. She's eighty-nine percent evil.

Ray: Guys! I think Sara is in trouble.

Mick: QUIET!! Haircut! Take the new girl. Find Blondie, Fake Snart and Trenchcoat. Amaya, the med-bay. Pretty, the library. Water Bitch? Stays in the freezer.

[Chastened and somewhat intimidated, the others leave for their assignments.]

Ray: You know, Mick? You're really showing some management potential.

Mick: Get out. [Ray gets out.]

Sara: I thought this was all over. The bloodlust, the fight for my soul, all the crap that I've had to endure.

Constantine: Well, there's always more crap to endure. Take it from one who's damned his own soul to Hell. There was a... a girl. In Newcastle. Astra. I failed her.

Sara: Some might say you should forgive yourself.

Constantine: Well, if I could, then perhaps I wouldn't have the need to save the likes of poor Nora. What about you? Have you forgiven yourself for your sins?

Sara: I don't deserve forgiveness.

Sara: Hey! Before you go, I, uh... I just wanted to say "Thank you". For helping me with Mallus, that is.

Constantine: Oh. Of course. Helping you with Mallus was... good for me, too. If you ever need me to help you with Mallus again, just give us a call. I'll be right there. Although there are lots of people out there with very weird demons. They all need my help.

Sara: Mmm. I understand.

Constantine: Good.

Sara: And thanks for the shag, too. That was great. [Sara walks away, leaving Constantine speechless, then chuckling.]

Here I Go Again [3.11]

Gideon: Even with the reserve power, I don't believe my system can run your simulation software.

Zari: Gideon, trust me.

Gideon: Trust is something that grows over time between friends. As far as I'm concerned, we are still acquaintances.

Zari: Question, Gideon: who's ready to have 1.12 terawatts of power diverted straight into her CPU?

[Zari knocks on Mick's cabin door. It opens partially and Mick appears.]

Mick: .... I'm busy.

Zari: Right. You've done a lot of time travelling. Have you ever had déjà vu?

Mick: What's that?

Zari: Oh, it's, uh, French for "already seen".

Mick: I hate French. [goes back into his cabin and the door closes on Zari]

Zari: I have something to tell you.... Hedgehog Day! [Nate stares at her blankly.] Dammit, you told me if I said "Hedgehog Day", you would know what I was talking about.

Nate: You mean Groundhog Day? Why would I tell you to tell me about a Bill Murray movie?

Zari: [frustrated] I don't know. All I know is I'm stuck in this time loop...

Nate: Like Groundhog Day! Okay, got it. Okay.

Zari: You do? [hugs Nate, relieved] And you'll help me figure out what's going on.

Nate: Yeah. That's what friends are for.

Zari: We're friends?

Nate: Of course. So lay it on me. What's happening?

[Zari has barricaded herself in the Parlor with the bomb.]

Zari: [emotional] Mick. You don't have to hide what you love. Follow your heart and keep writing.

Sara: Zari! We don't have time for this!

Zari: Nate and Amaya. I'm so lucky to call you guys my friends.

Amaya: Zari, the bomb!

Zari: What you guys have is so... so special. I mean, the way you look at each other... honestly, it makes me wanna puke, but... don't fight it. You're crazy about each other. Just don't have sex on missions.

Ray: Z, what are you doing?

Zari: What you would do, Ray. You know, when I first came on board, you were so nice and polite to me that I wanted to punch you. But I realize now, the world would be a better place if we were all a little more like you. But being nice and polite's only gonna get you so far, so do me a favor and tell Sara why you're so afraid of her.

Ray: Okay. Sure. But first, I wanna figure out how to shut down the force field so we can deal with the bomb.

Zari: I am dealing with the bomb.

Sara: Zari, look, you need to listen to me...

Zari: Sara, you're an infuriating, stubborn, pain in my ass. Because you have to be. You're not just the captain of this ship, you are its soul You are so fierce and unflinching. But why not apply some of that fearlessness to your own life and just ask poor Ava out already?

[Zari is conversing with Gideon's holographic form.]

Zari: I am terrified and in awe of you, Gideon. Who knew you were such an evil genius? And a bit of a perv.

Gideon: You never bothered to ask. It's an impressive piece of software you devised, Miss Tomaz.

Zari: Is that a compliment, Gideon?

Gideon: Don't let it go to your head. Are you ready to wake up now?

Zari: One last question. Gary. Why even have him in the time loop if he was just gonna be stuck in the trash compactor the whole time?

Gideon: Thought it'd be funny. [snaps her fingers]

The Curse of the Earth Totem [3.12]

Ray: We need to tell Sara we gotta get to Detroit.

Mick: Nope. She's off to Star City. She's been texting some guy. They're going on a date.

Ray: How do you know that? Wait, you're looking at her phone?

Mick: I look at everyone's phone. Helps pass the time.

Mick: What's up?

Amaya: Nothing.

Mick: I said "what's up".

Amaya: Fine, you're an unbiased listener. I want to change my granddaughter Kuasa's past, and well, improve her future.

Mick: So do it.

Amaya: It's not that simple. What if I inadvertently change my other granddaughter's destiny?

Mick: So don't do it.

Amaya: And then there's Nate. I still have to go back to 1942 and marry someone else so that Kuasa and Mari are even born. We can never end up together. I feel paralyzed. Every step I take, it feels like it could just have disastrous consequences.

Mick: Take a look around. You think these people give a damn about consequences? Take the night off. A true pirate doesn't live for tomorrow, they only live for the moment.

[Rip Hunter and Wally West are both very drunk. Rip samples Wally's "Rocket Fuel", which allows speedsters to get drunk.]

Rip: Mmmm. God! That Cisco's a ruddy genius.

Wally West: [sighs] He is. So's Barry, Caitlin and Wells. Wait, maybe that's why I never fit in on Team Flash.

Rip: And here I was, thinking you were roaming the Chinese countryside because your girlfriend needed more space. Look, I can do one better than that, mate. Most of my favorite prodigies conspired to have me put in prison.

Wally: Huh. What happened?

Rip: Well, I lied to Sara, in addition to accidentally aiding in the resurrection of the man who killed her sister. And Ava is angry at me for sending good agents to their deaths.

Wally: Sounds like you're a bit of a douche. No-no offence

Rip: No, none taken.

Amaya: Why did you become a pirate in the first place, eh?

Blackbeard: Well,...

Amaya: To let an admiral get the best of you? Or, to claim your destiny on the wide open sea? I don't know what's waitin' for us on the other side of this journey. But whatever it is, it beats cowering in some alleyway waitin' for your black beard to turn gray.

Blackbeard: I swore I'd never go back to that island... and I'm a man of me word. Fair winds, me hearties. [departs hastily]

Mick: [disbelieving] Blackbeard's... a coward.

[Amaya, still dressed as "Captain Jiwe", draws her sword on Nate.]

Nate: Amaya....

Amaya: You know, I learned something from hanging out with pirates. They always focus on the problem in front of them.

Nate: And what is that problem?

[Amaya uses the sword to cut a button off Nate's pirate shirt, then puts it right up to his throat and presses her body to his.]

Amaya: [seductively] Do you yield, sir?

Nate: [softly] Aye, Captain. [They start kissing.]

No Country for Old Dads [3.13]

Sara: Any sign of Ray?

Nate: Nah, just another Grateful Dead-end. I, for sure, got a contact high.

Mick: [producing a pair of tinted eyeglasses] And I managed to swipe Jerry Garcia's glasses.

Wally: Uh-oh. [takes the glasses away from Mick at super-speed] Once a thief, always a thief.

Nate: Dude. No, we... we allow light to moderate theft on this ship. We like to call them "souvenirs". [Wally sheepishly returns the glasses to Mick.]

[Darhk is playing around on the dating app Upswipz]

Nora Darhk: Can you please stop fooling around?

Darhk: Nora doll, what's the point of living if you can't have a bit of fun?

Nora: Well, I'm not enjoying myself. I'm annoyed.

Darhk: Hi, Annoyed. I'm Dad.

Amaya: Thank you for helping us. So how do you know Nathaniel?

Wally: I was kinda like his wingman back in Central City. Just... helped him get over a broken heart, actually, because this basic bitch just dumped him on his birthday. [amused] Can you believe that?

Amaya: [hard] Yeah. 'Cause I was actually that basic bitch.

Zari: Great vibe, Wally, I think we can take it from here.

[Assassin Darhk is speaking with Damien Darhk on the phone.]

Assassin Darhk: I have the girl.

Damien Darhk: Nora. If you hurt her, I swear--

Assassin Darhk: Meet me on the rooftop of the Schneider Cement building. An even exchange. Her life for the scientist. [hangs up]

Damien Darhk: I am gonna kick my ass!

Sara: Wally! Hey. I just wanted to say "Good job" out there. Are you sticking around?

Wally: Um... no. I-I might join Rip at the Time Bureau instead.

Sara: Hm. Right. Yeah, I mean, I get that, if you want to go hang out with a bunch of stiffs instead of the cool kids, but yeah.

Wally: Well, I'm kinda getting, like, a weird vibe here. Like, I feel like Mick and Zari both hate me already, and the others are probably not that far behind. So...

Sara: So what? I mean, when Nate first arrived, he threw Ray into the Temporal Zone. Amaya beat everybody up. Zari tricked us into pulling off a heist. And Mick, well,... he's betrayed us at least ten times. I mean, we're kind of like, uh... the All-Stars of bad first impressions, so... I think you'd fit in great.

Amazing Grace [3.14]

Zari: [walking in with Wally] Which brings us to the kitchen. We divvy up cleaning duties by Ray's chore wheel, which uses a complex system I pretend to not understand until he eventually does my chores for me.

Wally: [looking at the chore wheel] "Wipe down the food fabricator".

Zari: Bet you thought time travel would be seeing Woodstock, saving Shakespeare, and having ethical debates while standing over a baby Hitler. Trust me, it takes time to get used to–

[Wally cleans the entire kitchen and dining area at super-speed.]

Wally: Cool. So what's next?

Zari: It's gonna take time for me to get used to life with a speedster.

Sara: All right, let's go check this out. We need to find Elvis before panic sets in.

Gideon: Elvis Presley's uncle preached at the Church of Zion every Sunday. The boy never missed a service.

Sara: You heard the lady. [Everyone just stares silently at Sara.] What? Why are you staring at me?

Nate: You know, we're waiting for you to... do the thing you do.

Sara: What thing?

Ray: You know. You usually send us into the field with a little more pizzazz.

Sara: [rolls her eyes, sighs, and turns to leave.] Okay, Legends, put on your Sunday best because we are going to church!

Nate: [off everyone else's approval] That's pretty good.

Ray: Amen!

Sara: So Elvis is the bearer of the long-lost sixth totem. Consider me all shook up.

Nate: So he has to join the team, right? I mean, we can't defeat Mallus unless we have the full set. I mean, we can get Gideon to fabricate him a spangly jumpsuit, he'll fit right in.

Nate: I can't wait for you to see Elvis live. It's going to change your life.

Amaya: You really believe my life can be changed by one song.

Nate: Of course. Music is so much more than just song. Music's about identity. It's hearing a track for the first time and you think to yourself, "Wow, this is who I am." And I don't care how long it takes, we're gonna find your music, whether it be rock and roll or, God forbid, Ska.

Wally: I might actually know what you're going through. You see, my Dad, he came into my life pretty late. We couldn't always figure each other out. We didn't always know how to fit into each other's lives, until I knew I just had to go and set out on my own.

Uncle Lucius: Truly sorry to hear that, son.

Wally: I think you might be afraid that you're losing your nephew. But if you both could just try to understand each other, you might actually find something new between the two of you. You might... might even find something really special. Now I know someone that would love to play that record, if you're ready to give it a chance. And a lot of young souls would be moved by your nephew's voice.

[After considering briefly, Lucius gives the record to Wally.]

Uncle Lucius: Mysterious ways indeed.

Necromancing the Stone [3.15]

Wally: Hey, uh, what happens if we don't repair history?

Ray: Working theory: time is frappéd together like a smoothie. So instead of just dealing with Julius Caesar in Aruba, we have to fight off Genghis Khan, a herd of woolly mammoths, and a swarm of locusts from the Old Testament.

Nate: And Mallus is freed from time jail so he can rule over this giant mess.

Wally: So, worse than Flashpoint.

Ray: Uh, is that what we're calling the thing that Barry did? Oh, I think it's something similar.

[Zari and Amaya are returning from a mission.]

Zari: Wait. So the Mona Lisa was a self-portrait?

Amaya: Da Vinci in drag.

Zari: Wow.

Constantine: There isn't exactly a paint-by-numbers spell for locating a spaceship floating through a temporal stream. My business card says "Master of the Dark Arts", not Doctor bloody what's-his-face.

Ava: Who?

Gary: Who.

Constantine: Exactly.

Amaya: This totem wasn't meant for me. You have to use it.

Mick: Forget it.

Amaya: You spent your entire life obsessed with fire and heat. What if this is the reason why.

Mick: How may times do I have to tell you, I'm not a hero! Sara's a hero. And look what the Death totem did to her.

Amaya: That was the work of Mallus. Most people who've seen what you've seen would've succumbed to darkness, but you didn't. You chose to become a Legend. You may try and hide it, Mick, but you're a good man.

Constantine: You know, there's a reason why I prefer to walk this path alone. It's, uh... so I don't have to share with anyone how lost I really am. But you're not alone, are you Sara?

Sara: Maybe I should be.

Constantine: She's a good one (Ava). Try not to hurt her.

Sara: That's what I'm afraid of.

I, Ava [3.16]

Amaya: There you are, Mick. You ready?

Mick: For what?

Amaya: Training. Do you remember? We spoke about learning to harness the powers of the totem.

Mick: Hmm. I know a neat trick. [extends his index finger] Pull my finger.

Amaya: What?

Mick: Pull my finger. [Amaya reaches for Mick's finger]

Zari: Do not pull his finger. Let's just say hot dogs aren't the only thing he's learned how to light on fire.

[Sara, Ray and Gary have discovered a world with several Ava Sharpes on the streets.]

Gary: What kind of world is this? Paradise?

Sara: I'm surrounded by my exes, Gary. This is Hell.

Kuasa: [talking about Nate] He's not my grandfather. Every moment that you spend with him is a threat to our entire family's future.

Amaya: How can you be so selfish?

Kuasa: You're the selfish one. Our family's destruction looms in 1992. You promised you'd save us. And yet you continuously search for ways to abandon your family and Zambesi.

Amaya: I have done everything in my power to try and redeem you. And in doing so, Mari got hurt. She understands that being a totem-bearer means protecting all people, not just our own. It's no wonder this totem ended up with Mari and not you. You're beyond redemption.

[Ray rescues Gary from injury during a fight between the Legends and a squad of Ava clones.]

Ray: This is the second worst attack of the clones I've seen.

[Kuasa has interceded between Mallus and the Legends.]

Mallus: [speaking through Nora Darhk] I gave you LIFE, Kuasa! Offered you real power.

Kuasa: Family is true power. I know you're in there somewhere, Nora. [Nora's eyes revert to normal] You have your father, I have my grandmother. We don't have to become our demons.

Nora: I like my demons. [uses magic to forcibly extract the Water totem from Kuasa's body]

Guest Starring John Noble [3.17]

Rip: I must say, it has been such an honor, Barack.

Young Barack Obama: Well, I go by "Barry".

Sara: I really like "Barack".

Young Obama: Well, "Barack" is what is says on my birth certificate.

Sara: Yeah, you might want to hold on to that.

Darhk: I assure you this is completely unnecessary. I come, as they say, in peace.

Sara: And I, as they say, think you're full of crap.

Darhk: I'm a changed man, Sara.

Sara: The only change I want to see you go through is from alive to dead.

Ray: [knocking on a trailer in 1999] Mr. Noble? We have some last-minute rewrites.

John Noble: [comes out of the trailer made up as Denethor ] Tell Peter Jackson "No more chickens", huh? I ate four this morning. So what's up, mate?

Ray: [very nervous] Yeah, so the, uh, rewrites are from Peter, and he'd like me to run the lines with you.

Noble: You're kidding. [reads the script] Okay. Uh, let's see: "Nora, you must heed my command."

Ray: That's good, that's good.

Noble: Who's Nora?

Ray: Nora. Nora, she's a new character that, um,... They wanted to beef up the female presence in the film.

Noble: You can't do that, mate. It's Tolkien, Lord of the Rings.

Ray: It's a studio note.

Noble: Oh, studio note. Very good note, yeah.

Darhk: Nora's gone. It's just Mallus now. You must be enjoying this, seeing your nemesis with a broken heart.

Sara: I didn't know you had a heart to break. Where was it the night you murdered my sister?

Darhk: Look, what I did was unforgivable. But back then, I hadn't loved anyone to understand the pain that I caused. Not that it's any comfort, but if I could take it all back, I would.

Sara: We all have regrets. But we can't undo the things that we've done.

Darhk: True. But even the worst of us can be made whole again. You, for example. League to Legend, to killer to captain. That's not a bad makeover, is it?

Sara: It's not good enough.

Darhk: Why? Because you put on the Death totem and almost killed your entire team?

Sara: Yes.

Darhk: But you didn't, did you? And you know why? Same reason I'm spilling my guts to a woman who's imagined my death a thousand times over.

Sara: More like ten thousand.

Darhk: LOVE, Sara! 'Cause without it, people like us, we're left alone with the darkness. That's not good for anyone, is it?

Sara: This plan can work, and you know it. You just need to trust your gut.

Ava: My gut? You mean the one that was manufactured to factory settings? It's the same gut that eleven other Avas used and got killed?

Sara: Ava, please, just trust me.

Ava: You don't understand. This plan breaks every rule in every book, and all I have right now are the rules, okay?

Sara: You have me. [kisses Ava passionately]

Ava: What are you doing?

Sara: I'm admitting something that could save us both. I love you.

Ava: There is no me to love. [walks away and back to the Time Bureau]

The Good, the Bad and the Cuddly [3.18]

Sara: Look, you didn't tell us you were buying us time with your life.

Rip: Listen carefully. This gambit will not kill Mallus, it will only delay him long enough for you to make an escape.

Sara: There has to be another way.

Rip: No. There isn't. It's all right, Sara. I should very much like to see my wife and son again. I will miss you, Captain Lance. You and the rest of the Legends. My one hope is that you all live up to that name.

Nate: Look, just somebody's gotta say it, so I'm gonna say it–

Zari: This is all our fault.

Nate: Apparently I'm not gonna say it, but... yeah. We let Mallus out.

Mick: Well, whose stupid idea was it to fight him with some... magic necklaces?

Amaya: It wasn't the totems that failed. It was us.

Zari: Yeah, we might want to rethink that whole "We screw up things for the better" motto.

Darhk: Well, I hope you're here to make good on your promise and kill me. Which would work out for both of us. Be a real win-win.

Sara: Mercy killing's not my style. Even if it was... you don't deserve my mercy. You deserve to live out the rest of your days knowing that you destroyed your own daughter.

Sara: [to the assembled Legends and their allies] All right. We're facing an army of Romans, Vikings, and pirates. But you know what today is? Today is the day that we prove that Rip did not sacrifice his life in vain. And today is the day that we prove that we are not losers. And today is the day that we earn the name "Legends". [toasts with a glass of whiskey, then downs it while the others cheer] Now, how do we sneak out the back?

Constantine: I need a word with you sorry lot. [throws down a large bundle and removes the covering, revealing a decapitated dragon's head] Now, whose brilliant idea was it to let an ancient demon out of his bloody cage?

Nate: [thumbing at Sara] Sara's.

Constantine: Well, you opened the door, love. And Mallus wasn't the only thing that got out.

Season 4

The Virgin Gary [4.1]

[The Legends have infiltrated the Beatles' first American arrival.]

Sara: Hey, Z. If you had to sleep with one, which one would it be?

Zari: How can you even tell them apart?

Ray: Well, Paul is the cute one, George is the quiet one, there's Ringo --

Mick: I never met an Englishman I haven't wanted to punch in the face.

Nate: Relax, Mick. If it wasn't for the British Invasion, there'd be no Rolling Stones, no Led Zep,.... no Black Sabbath.

Mick: Black Sabbath.

Nate: Nope.

Mick: Well, then, we ... we need to protect these mopheads from whatever's screwing up history.

Nate: That's right, Mick.

Constantine: Look, this is your bloody mess, Sara, so stop playing tiddlywinks with the missus and get ready for the fight that's coming.

Sara: What if this is who I am now?

Constantine: Really? [whistles] This is who you are. Fuzzy throws and... fluffy pink slippers.

Sara: I like my pink fluffy slippers.

Constantine: I'm just trying to look after you, love. You and I are similar. We're both survivors, but our survival comes at a terrible cost. Look, you can take it from a man who's caused nothing but misery to everyone he's ever loved. Trust me. End it with Ava before it's too late.

Sara: You ever think that you cause misery not because of some romantic "I was born to walk alone" crap, but because you're an ass who doesn't know how to trust people?

Constantine: You know, I trust. The people around me get hurt, killed or far, far worse.

Sara: You think that I'm not scared? That I don't know grief? I'm not willing to turn my back on life, because that is exactly what you're doing, John. Our friends and family, they don't make us weaker, they make us stronger. You know what you need? You need to be a part of a team.

Constantine: This is King Solomon's original grimoire. The oldest magical textbook in existence. Now, if there is a spell to quell our equine friend, it'll be in here.

Sara: Well, not to pressure you, but the entire fate of the sexual revolution is in the balance here.

Constantine: That is my favorite revolution.

Gary: [seeing the hostile unicorn about to attack him] I don't want to die a virgin!

Witch Hunt [4.2]

Zari: I thought that's why we had Constantine.

Sara: Yeah,... about that. Constantine is–

Constantine: [entering the bridge dragging a steamer trunk] –tired, hung over, and in need of a stiff one. Dealer's choice as to what that's a euphemism for.

Nate: Well, I decided to extend my trip to 2018, and I may possibly be living a little bit at the Bureau.

Ava: You couldn't spring for a hotel?

Nate: Well, here's a fun fact about staying in the present: it costs money. And as a Legend, your salary is the... friendships you make along the way.

Ava: Got'cha.

Zari: Prudence, this is your fairy godmother?

Prudence: Yes. She protects me.

Sara: By hurting other people.

Fairy Godmother: Not at all. I only want to help little Prudence. For you see,

[sings] There are times the world is scary.

Times the world is BAD.

But when your godmother's a fairy,

there's no reason to be saaaaaaad.

Ray: Is that music?

Fairy Godmother: [continuing her song]

Oh, fear not if things don't look to be

the way that you preferred.

Just make a wish and look to me.

I'll sing these magic words–

Mick: Shut up.

Ray: Well, I didn't want her to stop singing.

Fairy Godmother: All I want is to make the world a happier place.

Constantine: Well, you got (Prudence's) mother thrown in the bloody clink. And what about that bloke who had his eyes pecked out of his skull, eh?

Fairy Godmother: [hard] That man was a liar. They are all liars. And simple-minded pests like that must be taught a lesson.

Constantine: Ooo, "pests". Intriguing choice of words.

Fairy Godmother: Before Prudence, all the girls I helped were just take, take, take. "I want a new dress, godmother." "I want to go to the ball, godmother." So I gave and I gave, no matter how absurd the request. I mean, who would ever choose to wear glass slippers? Imagine the blisters! And what did I get in return? A thousand years locked away in a dank and miserable dimension.

Constantine: So it was humans who put you away, eh? Well, it serves you right, you bitter old nag. You don't want Prudence happy. You want her raging. That's how you settle the score, by using a child's anger to rain down hellfire on those poor bastards out there.

Zari: Prudence, listen to me. This isn't who you are. You're a good person.

Prudence: He tried to kill my mother. This town, these people, they've killed so many others already. They deserve to burn.

Zari: And they will pay for their ignorance, but not like that.

Fairy Godmother: How else will they learn, dearie? If these people aren't taught a lesson today, they will go and hurt others for days and years to come. You come from the future. Can you honestly tell this child that the hearts of men change in all that time?

Prudence: Do they?

Zari: No, they don't. People always fear what they don't understand. And that fear turns them into monsters. But we can't let it turn us into monsters, too. We have to be better than them.

Dancing Queen [4.3]

Gary: Buckle up, Nate, it's Taco Monday.

Nate: Instead of Taco Tuesday?

Gary: Oh, we dare to defy.

Charlie: What happened to your old crew? [shows a tabloid cover of the Legends dressed in their disco outfits from "Here I Go Again"]

Ray: Well, Sara met a special someone, and they're trying to make it work.

Charlie: Oh, that'll kill a band.

Ray: Mmm. My best friend Nate, he, uh, has a desk job. And Amaya,... Well, she's gone. And I actually really miss her. She was kind of our moral compass. Helped us do the right thing when it wasn't always easy to do the right thing.

Charlie: I never knew disco could get so barmy.

Ray: Heh. Yeah, I guess the way we did it, it did get pretty "bah-my".

[The Legends, considering Charlie a dangerous monster, are willing to banish her, and Constantine opens a portal to send her to Hell.]

Charlie: I'll show you what a real monster looks like. [shapeshifts to Sara] Like this. [to Mick] Like someone who'd rather do what's easy [to Zari] than figure out what's right. [to Constantine] Someone who'd send an innocent to Hell.

Constantine: [to the others] Don't fall for its bloody parlour tricks.

Charlie: Ray said your team's moral compass is missing. [shapeshifts to Amaya in her disco look] Can you send her to Hell?

Ray: We can't just leave (Charlie) locked in there forever.

Sara: You are on thin ice in terms of what we can and can not do. Those punks were a bad influence on you.

Ray: Uh, well, huh, maybe you just don't know as much about me as you think you do.

Sara: You are an Eagle Scout. Former CEO of PalmerTech. Your favorite musical is Singin' in the Rain. You're allergic to cats and Grod, and you were knighted by Queen Guinevere "Sir Raymond of the Palms".

Ray: Okay, so you know a lot.

Sara: Yeah.

Zari: Hey, you got a minute? I just wanted to say, about the pub–

Constantine: Yeah, yeah yeah yeah. Listen, if you need to have some weepy heart-to-heart end-of-the-mission hugfest where you tell me that my problems are your problems and that happiness is just one friend away and all that bollocks, don't bother, yeah?

Zari: Hey. You don't know me. I wouldn't do that. That would be lame.

Wet Hot American Bummer [4.4]

Constantine: So, any idea of what kind of foul beast we're up against, then?

Ava: Well, based on [knowing look to Sara] research Sara and I have been doing, we could be looking for a swampy monster thing.

Sara: According to the timeline, before the end of summer, several kids went missing, never to be seen again.

Constantine: Well, I happen to know a swamp thing. But then again, Maine is way too far north for that muppet.

Chad Stevens: I'm sorry. Couldn't help but admire your lanyard. Did you make that yourself?

Ray: Oh. Yeah. Thank you. Yeah, along with twenty-one required merit badges. I also went on to get certification in nuclear science and dentistry.

Chad: Oh, snap! I've got some serious competition for "Coolest councilor" this summer, huh? [to Sara] What about you? You got any special skills?

Sara: [clearly not taken with Chad] Martial arts.

Chad: [makes a lame martial arts pose] Huwaa! [laughs] Sorry, it's just so fresh. [does air karate chops] Jackie Chan, you know.

Sara: [still unimpressed] I prefer knives and swords.

Chad: Right, yeah. Point taken. [laughs]

Charlie: Bloke like you doesn't strike me as a jailer. I believe we're more alike than you think. You look like you've been on the inside.

Mick: That's right.

Charlie: Then how do you sleep at night? Hanging out with these jailer-mates of yours?

Mick: Alcohol.

Mick: You must've had balls to survive that hellhole.

Charlie: Did what I had to. Shapeshifted into whatever monster would keep the others off my back. You know exactly what it's like. Pretending to be something worse than you are to survive.

Mick: Well, there's that. And there's finding someone you trust. I did time in Supermax with my old partner. It's hard to plot against a team.

Charlie: I spent all my time shapeshifting and running. I never stuck around one place long enough to find anyone who I could trust.

Mick: Well,... you gotta start somewhere.

Ray: You know, there are other dabblers in the Dark Arts out there who think that I'm all right.

Constantine: What, referring to Nora Darhk, are we? You best stay away from that witch, mate. Not even your big heart can keep you safe from someone who's wrestled with literal demons.

Ray: What about you? You're one of us now. You even dressed up, for a little while. You've wrestled with demons and you're good–

Constantine: Listen to me, all right? You know... I had a friend like you. Someone good, someone... who trusted me. Be smarter than him, all right? Save yourself, Ray Palmer. Because people like me and Nora Darhk, we're bloody hell for people like you.

Tagumo Attacks!!! [4.5]

Sara: [after seeing film footage of Tagumo] Guys. I think we're gonna need a bigger timeship.

Gary: [upon seeing the fugitives have escaped] I am so f-f-f-fired.

Constantine: [to Nora Darhk] Girl, listen to me, listen to me. As smart as Ray is, he doesn't understand what you're about to do. Choosing a life of magic, you're either all in or you're not. There's no half-measures. And you and I both know it never leads to a happy ending. [shows Nora visions of a handsome black man] So if you're gonna do this... you don't do it for Ray. You don't do it for me. You do it for yourself, all right? It's your choice. [starts to lose consciousness] Your choice... it's your choice. [passes out]

Ishirō Honda: Why couldn't I just tell sober, grounded stories instead of indulging in these silly monsters?

Mick: Sober and grounded's boring. You had a story to tell and you told it. You brought that monster to life. And don't pretend for a second you're not a little bit proud.

Ishirō : I was so afraid of what people would think of my creation. And now that it's here in the flesh,...

Mick: Story complete.

Ishirō : And I... no longer have to fear... what was locked inside my head.

Mick: No. No, you don't.

Ishirō : Your creation was... magnificent.

Mick: I was thinking about a fourth boob.

Ishirō : Three was plenty.

Mick: Huh. Listen, on this end, forget about the octopus. Lizards. Lizards are king. [departs]

Ishirō : [speaking to himself in Japanese] The King... of Monsters.... I like that.

Tender Is the Nate [4.6]

[Sara and Ava are about to have a tryst in Ava's office when Hank Heywood walks in, forcing Sara to hide on the ceiling.]

Hank Heywood: These are expenses generated by the crew of the Waverider, the tip of the Time Bureau spear. Your "Legends". [Sara comes down from the ceiling, ninja-style.] You said they were worth the additional funding. Let me refer you to some of my favorite line items. One hundred thirty-five million dollars for a new time core. What was wrong with the old one?

Ava: Oh, well, um, Rip blew it up when he sacrificed his life to save the world.

Hank: "Sacrifice" is right. 1.7 million dollars for "Historical costumes".

Ava: Mm-hmm. Well, admittedly, their costumes are... flamboyant.

Hank: A line item for, and I quote,[turns around; Sara dives to retrieve her shoe and hides just before he turns back.] "Assorted condiments". Assorted.

Ava: No one ever accused the Legends of starving, sir.

Hank: If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were in bed with the Legends. Either that, or this Captain Sara Lance is simply screwing you.

[Sara, now hiding under Ava's desk, caresses Ava's leg, causing her to flinch, but she recovers.]

Ava: [laughing nervously] Wha? Screwing me? Sara Lance? What are you... Sir, that is, that is crazy.

Hank: Which is what the Pentagon is going to call me unless we find a way to justify these numbers.

Ava: Got it, sir.

Hank: So explain to me how this... "magic-ometer" of yours works.

Ray: Oh. Well,--

Mick: It goes "beep" and we kick ass.

Zari: Meaning we investigate each time period.

Constantine: We find the creature.

Sara: We bring it to the Bureau.

Ray: And hopefully learn some life lessons along the way.

Nate: Hey. It's our first mission together. Don't worry, if anything goes wrong in the field, I got'cha covered.

Hank: [amused] Yeah, I didn't get coldcocked by a girl.

Sara: Have you ever been... hit by a girl,... Hank?

Hank: No, ma'am

Sara: [gives Hank a meaningful look] Hmm. We should head out. [turns and walks off]

Nate: [referring to his father] And you thought a minotaur was bull-headed?

Sara: Ooo, mythology burrrn ! [she and Nate do a finger wiggle bump] It's good to have you back.

Ray: You know, it's still weird not having you around.

Nate: I'll always be right there, Big Guy, in that giant heart of yours. And I'll be at the Bureau, so you guys can literally stop by whenever you want. But, you know, before I go, I do want to say one thing. When I first stepped on to this ship, I was, you know, trying to get away from all my baggage back home, and I can't believe I'm gonna say this.... Hemingway once wrote "Can't get away from yourself by moving from one place to another." And thanks to you guys, I don't have to run anymore. Being here with you all has turned me into the man I need to be, and, uh,... this place is special. And you never know when it's gonna be over. So, I say, Legends: [raises his beer bottle] Enjoy the ride while it lasts.

Sara: Hear, hear. [Everyone clinks beer bottles.]

Hell No, Dolly! [4.7]

Ray: [reading a quiz on the back of a cereal box] "Who is the most prolific serial killer in the United States?"

Ava: Ted Bundy. Although in my opinion, John Wayne Gacy had way more victims than he confessed to. [off everyone's looks] What? Everyone has their hobbies.

Nate: All right, don't tell me you're falling for this, like, Neanderthal misogynistic dating advice. You're a modern man surfing the sexual spectrum. Just be cool and ask her out.

Gary: Or - and I'm, uh, just spitballing here - you can ask her out for me.

Nate: This isn't high school.

[Gary suddenly goes into a quasi-cataleptic state. Nate has to snap his fingers right in Gary's face to bring back.]

Gary: [getting his bearings] Oh. Sorry. "High school"'s a bit of a trigger word for me.

Nate: Wow. You are really broken.

Ray: Sara? Is it possible that our fugitive killer is a possessed doll?

Sara: Horror movie 101.

Sara: Ava, you are my love. And Mick, you are my family. And it would mean the world to me if both of you would try to get along. [whispers to Ava] Please.

[Ava sits down across the table from Mick.]

Sara: So, I was thinking... maybe you two could find some common grounds. [Ava chortles] For example, Ava, you love to read. Mick here is an author.

Ava: Oh? Well, that's something. Though I'd be shocked if his novel wasn't sexist and derivative.

Mick: It is.

Sara: Okay. Well, Mick, you love to eat. Ava is a fantastic baker. She makes one mean snickerdoodle.

Mick: Fancy sugar cookies.

Ava: Snickerdoodles are actually completely different. It's a cream of tartar base, but --

Mick: Garbage cookies.

Ava: That's rich, coming from a man who's so lacking in personal hygiene that he had to resort to sleeping with a three-breasted alien sex toy.

Mick: Well, at least Garima isn't a clone.

Ava: [tightly] Only I get to use the C-word.

Sara: Too far, Mick. Too far.

Mick: Why do you get to have a fake girlfriend and I don't? [gets up and starts walking out of the room.] Clone.

Ava: Dick.

Zari: You know, I understand why John is being so colossally stupid, but what's your excuse?

Charlie: I'm dying.

Zari: What?

Charlie: Look, every time I shapeshift, it's like I'm born all over again. But stuck in this body, for the first time in centuries, I'm getting older. But, if John saves Desmond, then he never joins the Legends, and I'm immortal again.

Zari: Let me get this straight. You help John risk a catastrophic rupture to history because you're afraid of aging? Okay. Maybe John succeeds and you go on your immortal merry way. But if he fails, I will personally make sure you spend the rest of your short, dreary, human life in the deepest, darkest prison cell the Bureau has to offer.

Legends of To-Meow-Meow [4.8]

[during the "Custodians of the Chronology" timeline]

Nate: Gideon, any messages while we were gone?

Gideon: You missed calls from Barry Allen, Oliver Queen and Kara Zor-El.

Ray: Sounds like the annual crossover.

Nate: Ugh. Yeah, that's gonna be a hard pass.

[Constantine has just restored Zari from a cat to her normal form.]

Zari: Finally! [dry coughs] Hairball. Because of you dicks, I have been a cat for so long. Do you know where this tongue has been? [hard whisper] Places!

Charlie: You know, I could have been anyone when I got my powers back. Do you know why I kept coming back to this form?

Zari: Because Amaya is very hot.

Charlie: It's because this was the form I was when I joined the Legends. Now I've been a part of many crews. And you guys, well,... you're not rubbish.

Zari: Listen, destroying history for personal gain, it's happened to almost everyone here. Rite of passage.

Mick: I made snickerdoodles with your recipe. Not bad.

Ava: I'm reading your novel. I'm on the last chapter. Your female characters are shallow, libidinous, and so much fun to read.

Mick: Hmmm. Thanks.

Ava: Yeah, good job, um... "Rebecca Silver"?

Mick: Non de plum.

Ava: Got it. So... let me get this straight. They're making love on the surface of the sun?

Mick: Mmm. It's, um... a metaphor.

Ava: [softly] Got it.

Constantine: And the worst part? It didn't even make a bloody difference. I was a fool thinking I could outrun this fight flying around with you lot.

Sara: Yeah. We tend to fly directly into fights. But, we do it together. And we have your back.

Constantine: Well, as long as you know what you're getting yourself into. Because a demon like Neron, he doesn't just wanna win. He wants to win to the cruelest possible way.

Lucha de Apuestas [4.9]

Mona Wu: I'm telling you, the men in black are behind all of this. They're framing me so they can keep hurting the magical creatures.

Zari: Hurting them how?

Mona: I don't know. But Konane was terrified when they came for him. I was just trying to help him.

Sara: Mona, we saw the security footage, and... there were no men in black. Just you.

Mona: Well, they must have altered the footage to hide the truth. I'm like Mulder, and those guys are the shadow government covering their tracks! It's a conspiracy! The truth is out there!

Ray: Okay. Okay, Fox. Okay, Fox, take a breath.

Constantine: [watching Konane wrestle as a luchador] Damn, he's good.

El Cula: He's too good. In lucha libre, every match tells a story. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose so you can rise again. But there are rules, there is a plan. With this guy, there's no rules, there's no plan. He just wins every time.

Constantine: Oh, so that's why you're here (at the bar), eh? Drowning your sorrows rather than be up there where you belong. Listen, mate, I've had my fair share of defeats these past days, but lying on your ass is no way to get your mojo back.

Ray: After your recent unfortunate misadventures in time travel, I created a team-building card game to help you learn the "Dos and Don'ts" of our prior missions. I'm calling it "Cards to Save the Timeline"! Fun way to learn from your mistakes, right?

Charlie: Oh, you gotta be joking. "Vandal Savage." That's a real name?

Constantine: And here's me thinking that Damien Darhk's moniker was a touch on-the-nose.

Dorothy Heywood: Is this your new girlfriend?

Nate: Um, yeah. This is Zari.

Dorothy: Zari. What a beautiful name for a beautiful woman with excellent child-bearing hips. [pats Zari's hips] Not to put a clock on it or anything, but... hmm, grandchildren would be so lovely.

Mick: There's something about Buck and Garima you should know. They didn't live happily ever after. They came from two different worlds. Worlds that needed them. They didn't belong together. But they loved one another. A lot.

Mona: How do you know? The next book in the series hasn't even been published yet.

Mick: I just DO!!

The Getaway [4.10]

Ray: Without the release of All the President's Men, Robert Redford's career floundered.

Mick: WHAT?! No Redford? No Sundance. No indie film. No artful nudity. We have to fix this!

Constantine: Not to bother you, but we've lost the ship, drugged the President, and I'm stuck in the back with her (Mona). Now what are we gonna do?

Sara: We are going to Disney World!

Mick: Noooo. Haven't we been tortured enough?

[Constantine extracts a magical insect from President Nixon.]

Mick: It's a roach.

Nixon: I've been bugged.

Constantine: This is an agent of Maat, the goddess of truth in the Egyptian pantheon. You see, the creature, it feeds off lies. And whoever eats that has nothing but truth left to tell.

Sara: No wonder it found its way to Nixon. You must have been a feast.

Sara: Look, I just, I don't know how to convince everybody that everything's okay when I'm not okay.

Constantine: Well, you know, if we were in each other's shoes right now, then you'd be giving me some rubbish speech about how "you don't have to shoulder the burden myself when I have friends around me to help me carry it". Not that I believe you for a second, but... that doesn't mean it's not true.

Sara: Thanks. Even if you're just lying to make me feel better.

Constantine: Oh, I definitely am. Hope it worked, though.

Sara: If I had to be stuck on a road trip, at least it was with you guys. You know, maybe that's what "family" is: the people you don't mind being annoyed by.

Séance & Sensibility [4.11]

Constantine: I hope you're not stress-eating, squire.

Ray: I don't know what else to do. I can't believe this is happening.

Constantine: You feel the energy in this room. It's like sitting on a keg of dynamite. You see, wakes are notorious soft spots where the supernatural meets the living world. You see Nate's aunt? That particular prayer is to ward off evil spirits. And hey... covered the mirrors, so the bad lads can't get in.

Ray: Well, that's creepy.

Constantine: Yeah, well, "creepy" is my business. [a lamp flickers] And it looks like business is good.

Mona: [after sniffing Zari] I think my sense of smell has improved because of Wolfie, and you smell exactly like... Nate.

Zari: No, I don't.

Mona: It's definitely Nate! Nate and something else. [sniffs] Arousal?

[Charlie laughs.]

Zari: No, I don't. I mean, Nate, that would be wrong and–

Sara: He likes you. [off Zari's look] He confessed it when he swallowed the truth bug.

Zari: We're so not passing the Bechdel test right now.

Sara: It's okay to talk about guys sometimes.

Mona: I have come to believe that love will find a way to overcome any obstacle.

Jane Austen: Then you're either lying or you're a fool. Tell me, has love worked out so well for you?

Mona: No–

Jane Austen: Then you are a fool. For you shouldn't have to learn a lesson twice.

Zari: [under the influence of Kamadeva's magical music] In the morning, we should go ask the parson to marry us.

Kamadeva: [surprised, amused] A Christian wedding? For a Muslim woman and a Hindu man?

Zari: Let's not think with our heads, but feel with our hearts. [They continue with the dance.]

[Nate is alone with Hank's open casket.]

Nate: [sighs] Oh, Hank. I have so many questions. You weren't torturing magical creatures, you were training them to be in a theme park. That is nuts. But I gotta respect you for dreaming big. It was your moonshine, your way of risking it all to make the world a better place. [getting emotional] I was so wrong about you. At the end of the day, you were just as wacky and well-intentioned as any Legend. And I wish I had a chance to get to know that side of you. I'm gonna miss you. I love you, Hank... I love you, Dad.

The Eggplant, the Witch & the Wardrobe [4.12]

Zari: [to Mona] You know I'm a superhero, right? With a flick of my wrist, I can blast you with my wind powers.

Charlie: Being honest, wind powers? Just not that scary.

Mick: Yeah, you're like a magical hair dryer.

Neron: It's delicious how easily humans are corrupted, especially here in D.C..

Nora: So that's your game? You inflict fear and anger on humanity?

Neron: I merely fan the flames. People are primed to give in to what they fear most.

Sara: Look, I've never really thought that much past tomorrow. Ava, with my past, planning anything for the future is just... feels like tempting fate. And I convinced myself that I like it that way. Until you came along.

Ava: You just freaking came to purgatory for me. How's that for giving the middle finger to Fate?

Nate: I can't believe I got my Dad killed.

Ray: No. It was Hank's choice to make a deal with a demon. That is not your fault. You spending time with him inspired him. Made him happy. I don't think you doomed him. I think you saved him.

Desmond: You saved me, Johnny. I'm grateful for that. But it doesn't change anything.

Constantine: I know. But I can make it all go away, Des. [holds up a memory eraser] This will make you forget.

Desmond: No. You sent me to Hell. That's something we're both gonna have to live with. [walks away to the elevator]

Egg MacGuffin [4.13]

Sara: Look, Z. Sometimes for the good of the relationship, you have to put yourself outside of your comfort zone. For instance, I am going to read five hundred pages of some trashy novel by tonight for Ava. And look, with Neron gone, now's the time for us to get our personal lives into order. I will help you.

Zari: Please don't.

Sara: Relationship. Expert.

Ray: You can't help me. I need Constantine.

Gary: Well, I may not be a master of the Dark Arts, but I am an intern of the Dark Arts.

Ray: You're interning for Constantine?

Gary: Yeah. He's letting me study his spell books if I water his plants while he searches for a cure for Nora. Well, besides, what other options do you have? Come on. Tell the Gar-bear what ails ya.

Ray: [nervous] I don't, I don't know how to explain it, but it... feels like... like there's something inside of me.

Gary: Oh, yeah. You know, there's a beautiful singer inside of me, but no one's ever gonna meet her.

Mick: [speaking to the audience at the Romanti-Con Q&A] Nasgowa chased Cash for one reason. It's the same reason humans have gotten together since the dawn of time. It's why people like you come to conventions and dress up as your favorite characters. Why a man sits behind a desk typing, pouring out his heart. Why an author - a writer - replies to fans. It's connection. Human connection.... I am Rebecca Silver. [The audience gasps.]

Mona: You are Rebecca. I'd recognize that wisdom anywhere! [The audience applauds.]

Constantine: [to a comatose Nora] I would've come sooner, Nora, but... do you have any idea how difficult it is to acquire a phoenix's tail feather? I didn't.

Zari: [nervous] You know how I... never let anyone know what I'm... really feeling?

Nate: [equally nervous] It's kinda your thing.

[Zari kisses Nate.]

Zari: That's... how I feel, Nate.

Nate: I feel the same. [They kiss again.]

Nip | Stuck [4.14]

Constantine: [sarcastically] Oh my! What a big, scary knife you've got! [seriously] I'd sooner be filleted than do your bidding.

Neron: [In Ray's body] This knife is not for you, it's for Raymond. The human body is fascinating, delicate, fragile. Did you know that if I cut this artery right here, [points at his wrist with the knife] it will take only a matter of minutes before Ray's body goes into shock, and eventually expires?

Zari: [regarding Nate's terrarium for the dragon egg] Wow, this is very, um, impressive.

Nate: Yeah, I found a book about dragons in Constantine's collection.

Zari: [reading] "The egg must incubate under the mother at her body temperature lest the egg expire." Yeah, I'm not gonna sit on that thing.

Nate: I figured as much. That's why I got a heat lamp.

Sara: [reading] "Cards to Save the Timeline," a team building card game by Ray Palmer.

Mick: Ugh, I miss hating him.

Sara: Do you remember that night we all met, standing up on that rooftop and Rip told us that we were gonna be "legends"?

Mick: Hmm. Embarrassing. You know what? We're the last of the originals.

Sara: Weird.

Mick: [low] Yeah, weird.

Sara: [looking at a picture of the original team from "The Magnificent Eight"] The Legends were different back then. We were different back then. Look, I know that book convention was important to you, and I'm really glad that you got to go.

Mick: I'm glad you have Ava.

Sara: Thanks. Guess we're growing up. Hopefully not growing apart.

Gideon: We're running on very low reserve power. The odds of us successfully pushing through the avalanche above us are 3,720 to 1.

Sara: Never tell me the odds, Gideon.

Sara: Ava! You okay?

Ava: It's a long story, but Gary took over the Bureau. He "nip"-notized everyone.

Nate: Yeah, you're gonna have to explain that.

Mick: The germ turned.

Terms of Service [4.15]

Demon: You're dead, demon hunter

Constantine: I was gonna be a demon proctologist, but the pay wasn't as good.

Time Bureau agent: #Eyesapp is trending on Twitter below Kanye's surprise album and a cat getting a bath.

Neron: Hmm. How many downloads?

Time Bureau agent: Only two thousand, Mr. Palmer.

Neron: News cycles so fast these days, it's hard to cut through all the noise, but a monster attack on the capital will dominate the headlines for weeks.

Ava: You know what, Gary? It's a little hard to feel sorry for you when you're holding us all hostage.

Gary: You're not getting it. This whole time, Tabitha's been trying to use me to hurt you. All I wished was for us to hang out. I was trying to protect you. I get it, I'm not "cool". But I don't deserve to be treated like a joke. So now, now the joke's on you.

Charlie: If I die, I'm gonna come back and haunt you.

Zari: I would love a ghost friend.

Ava: I am so sorry, Gary. I took you for granted. I never, ever should have let you do my dry cleaning or work overtime without pay. I mean, that's illegal, anyway. I'm so sorry.

Mick: I still want to kill you. [Gary gulps]

Sara: Gary. When Rip first recruited the Legends, he picked the people that were insignificant to history. The original losers. You don't have to be cool to be a Legend. And maybe we forgot that somewhere along the way, but... you are one of us.

Hey, World! [4.16]

Mona: Stay calm. They smell fear.

Gary: What if fear's my natural scent?

[Sara, Nate and Gary have just shot a commercial for the Heyworld theme park dressed as Supergirl, Green Arrow and the Flash, respectively.]

Zari: Uh, guys, I feel that would've worked a little bit better with the real Trinity.

Sara: Yeah, well, I asked and they said [looks at Nate] "Hard pass".

Nate: [sheepish] We shoulda done the crossover.

Sara: Yeah.

Vandal Savage: Yeah, right, what a guy. I was sent here to torture him, but then we got to talking. Oh, it got really deep, man.

Ray: It really did.

Savage: What were we even fighting about all those years ago?

Ray: Your compulsion for world domination and inability to accept rejection.

Savage: Ah. Translation: it was about a girl.

Nora: Girl? What girl?

Ray: Doesn't matter. We should go.

Hank: Not a bad show, if you ask me.

Nate: Dad.

Hank: Hello, Nate.

Nate: I missed you so much, Dad.

Hank: I haven't been far.

Nate: [getting emotional] Oh, I guess, um... Guess it sucks, dying before you're ready, huh?

Hank: It sure does. Believe me, I went through all emotions. I mean, anger, worry. I had so many regrets, I almost missed my ticket to the happy place.

Nate: What changed?

Hank: I had faith.

Nate: [pointing up] You're saying there's actually a–

Hank: In you, Nate. And I was right to believe that my boy and all his freaky buddies would see this thing through. But you know the only thing missing from that big show of yours? Music. [sings the opening line to James Taylor's Sweet Baby James]

Sara: All right, Time bros --

Ava: And Time ladies.

Charlie: And Time monsters

Mona: And Gary?

Sara: As I was saying: Legends... our work here is done. Gideon, fire up the ship! It's time to hit it.

Season 5

Crisis on Infinite Earths, Part 5 [5.x]

Main article: Crisis on Infinite Earths (Arrowverse)

This episode is Part Five of a five-part crossover event called Crisis on Infinite Earths. For quotations, see the related page.

Meet the Legends [5.01]

Ava: Okay, big smiles everyone. And nobody mention Oliver Queen.

Mona: Why?

Ava: Because he died.

Nate: Shouldn't have done the crossover.

Ava: Uh, Ray! Who else saved the multiverse?

Ray: Oh, uh, well The Flash, Supergirl, Batwoman.

Ava: Cool.

Ray: Yeah.

Nate: What, no Superman? Couldn't have been that big of a deal.

Ray: Oh, no, no, Superman was there. He's very handsome.

Ray: I've triangulated the timequake to 1917, St. Petersburg, Russia. Let's go and shrink the problem.

Nate: [Sara grimaces] Not good.

Ray: I'm developing a catchphrase?

Gideon: Executing time jump now.

Sara: No! Gideon, we're not taking a film crew to... [watching the transition through time] ...Imperial Russia. Yeah. Great. This is great, Ray.

Nate: All right, Legends, put on your babushkas because we are rushing into Russia.

Sara: And now you're copying my thing.

Nate: Totally. I just got really excited.

Ray: Look, Sara, we're really sorry. We thought we could make things easier for you by taking this off your plate.

Sara: And risking your own necks. Look, I already have one dead friend on my plate. I'm good there. And you know, none of you self-absorbed mega stars even bothered to ask me how I was doing.

Ava: Look, Sara, I told them not to mention Oliver, okay? I thought you wouldn't want to be reminded.

Sara: Reminded? What, did you think that I could just forget that my friend died?

Ava: No, I - look, I know things have been crazy around here.

Sara: Crazy around here? You still have no idea what I saw out there.

Nate: What did happen?

Sara: Countless Earths died. I became a paragon and traveled back to the big bang. We restarted the universe and now no one even remembers what we've changed.

Ava: That's a lot to process.

Sara: Yeah, I know. So you could see why I would wanna talk to my friends about it. And instead I get cameras in my face.

Ray: Where am I? What happened?

Sara: Don't think, Ray, just enlarge.

Ray: Why is it so dark in here? Am I in a lake? A-A lake that smells like pierogies?

Ava: Ray, do it! Get big now!

Ray: Embigify. Your atomic number is up.

Sara: Now, Ray!

Ray: Size... matters! [as he enlarges, Rasputin explodes from the inside] Oh, no. What did... what did I do?

Nate: You found your catchphrase, Ray!

Mick: What the hell?

Mona: Raw meat.

Behrad Tarazi: Question is...

Nate: Did you get the shot, Kevin?

Kevin Harris: [shell-shocked and covered in blood] Uh, yeah, I-I... I got it.

Miss Me, Kiss Me, Love Me [5.02]

Astra Logue: It seems you're having a hard time staying away from Hell these days, John.

Constantine: Well, what can I say? I'm a creature of habit.

Astra: You might as well get used to it. You'll be living down here soon enough. What do you want?

Constantine: A whiskey, neat, and a steak, well done. Oh, yeah, and all those souls you released. Call 'em back.

Behrad: Hey, Cap. Normally, I'd be all for rolling up my sleeves and pitching in, but I gotta take shore leave for my pop's birthday. And Nate's coming with me.

Nate: I am?

Sara: [to Nate] You are?

Behrad : My parents are always asking questions about my life. He could pretend to be one of my biz school professors.

Sara: I still can't believe that you still haven't told your parents the truth about what you do.

Behrad : You mean that I'm a time-travelling superhero who stole the family heirloom?

Sara: Hmm, okay, yeah, stick to business school.

Bugsy Siegel: I couldn't help but notice you, and I gotta tell you, I like the way you walk.

Sara: I learned to do it all by myself,... Mr. Siegel.

Siegel: Oh, please. "Benjamin".

Sara: Hmm. Sara Lance. At your service. [offers her hand to kiss]

Siegel: Lance, huh? [kisses Sara's hand]

Sara: What's the matter? You don't like it?

Siegel: Well, I don't know yet. Just trying it on for size. You know, even if it fits, I'm a little curious about the price tag.

Sara: Well, if you have to ask, it's probably too expensive.

Siegel: [chuckles] I take what I want.

Sara: Does that make you a thief, Mr. Siegel?

Siegel: I am a lot of things, Miss Lance. And I am especially a thief.

Sara: Hey, don't give Ava a hard time for getting on stage, all right? I don't want her to be too embarrassed.

Mick: She's not gonna remember a thing.

Ava: [entering, drunk] Well, helloo! Ha! Where's my invite to this party, Mickey boy? [she grabs and takes a swig from his beer]

Mick: I spat in that. Old prison habit.

Astra: You just can't stay away, can you?

Siegel: Careful, he's still got one bullet left.

Astra: I appreciate your concern, Benjamin, but I'm not worried about him. We're old friends, aren't we, Johnny? So, why don't you tell me what you came all the way down here for?

Constantine: I came all the way down here to tell you... [wavering, he lowers the Hell gun] ...that I'm not giving up on you. And even if it takes me 'till the end of my days, I promise you that I will find a way.

Astra: Another meaningless promise made by the great John Constantine. You've gone soft. [she and Bugsy laugh, and Constantine snickers sardonically]

Constantine: Not that soft. [shoots Bugsy] This one's for Jeanie.

Slay Anything [5.03]

Constantine: Spare me the sendoff, Lance. I'm leaving before you and your band of botherers can suck me into another world-saving sing-along.

Sara: Actually, I was just gonna say we're still waiting for you to move out. There's a box in the library labeled "Arcana" that's been sitting there for months.

Constantine: I'd avoid touching that if I was you.

Sara: Yeah, Behrad already tried to move it, and now he thinks he's being haunted by a forlorn mariner.

Constantine: And he's right, but I can't stick around to help the bloke.

Ray: Oh, no, not again.

Nora: [wearing baby-blue horseback riding clothes] Oh, yes, oh, yes. It's the same thing every time. Kid gets a Fairy Godmother, what do they wish for? [chuckles] "You get a pony, and you get a pony!" Everyone gets a damn pony.

Ray: Well, maybe next time, you should say "Neigh". [Nora blows a raspberry and magically changes clothes]

Nate: You sure being here (on the Waverider) doesn't bring back some fond memories?

Zari: If I had fond memories of this place, I'd book a lobotomy.

Nate: This just went from John Hughes to John Carpenter.

[Zari recalls her past memories and hacks the Waverider's computer to free herself from the lab.]

Gideon: How did you bypass my encrypted security protocol?

Zari: Oh, just by being a businesswoman, makeup guru, bad bitch, and overall genius.

A Head of Her Time [5.04]

Zari: Behrad, we can make millions of future false trends reports!

Ava: No, no. Rule number one of time travel: Never look into the future for personal gain.

Zari: [dismissive while scrolling on her phone] Totally, totally.

Ava: And rule number two: No social media on the ship. [Zari hands her phone to Behard] I thought we were dropping you off.

Zari: My brother, the actual superhero, invited me to stay.

Ava: Oh. Kay. Let's just remember this is a place of business, okay? We get called on a mission, you need to keep out of our way.

Zari: [mockingly] Aye, aye.

Ava: Okay. [to Behrad] We'll talk later. [leaves]

Zari: Sad, what a waste of a good head of hair.

Behrad: Here you go. [returns her phone] Hide it.

Zari: Can your computer lady make me some cucumber water? I'm parched from that dry interaction.

Ray: Mick. Are you feeling all right?

Ray: My stomach hurts. I can't eat, I can't drink. I think Allie gave me an STD back at the reunion.

Gideon: Initiating scan. [scans Mick]

Ray: Those are not symptoms. Those are feelings. Mick, I think you're developing a crush.

Mick: Is that when you whiz and it hurts?

Ray: .... No. It's biology's way of telling you you care about someone else.

Gideon: Dr. Palmer is correct. The results of my body scan indicate that you do, in fact like like her.

Ava: [over intercom] Interim Captain Sharpe here. Team meeting in the parlour. Over and out. [continues without realising the intercom is still on] Okay, that was good. That was fun, but to the point. Not too... Gideon, are you broadcasting this?

Gideon: Sorry Miss Sharpe, I'll shut it down.

Ava: Okay, thank you! We women have to stick together.

Nate: [entering] I always thought of you as one of the guys.

Ava: Okay, I don't know what that means...

Behrad: [entering] He means it as a compliment.

Gideon: It would appear that there is a disturbance at the Bastille in Paris, 1793. While the details are still hazy, the aftermath is traumatic. Thousands die and the French Revolution collapses.

Ava: Well looks like we have a mission. So everybody stop looking so Les Misérables because we are going to France!

Zari: I've been trying to get people to like me for so long that I've forgotten who I really am. I have millions of followers but zero friends.

Ava: You got one.

Mortal Khanbat [5.05]

Gideon: As you can see from his chest x-ray, Mr. Constantine has a very aggressive form of lung cancer. I'm afraid it's terminal.

Constantine: [flicks open his lighter and prepares to have a cigarette] Well, there's no point in quitting now.

Constantine: Goodbyes are for saps. And bucket lists are for mealy-mouthed cowards who don't have the courage to carpe the bloody diem.

Ray: Well, I have a bucket list.

Constantine: Well, thank you for proving my point, Raymond.

The Bulldog: I can't believe you stooped to trying to make a deal with an angel. Mm.

Constantine: What the...?

The Bulldog: Gabriel would have turned you into his slave.

Constantine: Well, at least I'd be alive.

The Bulldog: [scoffs] There are worse fates than death.

Constantine: Oy. I will shove you where the sun don't shine just to shut you up.

The Bulldog: Hmm. You'd probably enjoy that.

Constantine: Of all the way that I thought I'd go: decapitated by a demon, eviscerated by an elemental, I wouldn't have picked being at home with my mates.

Zari: Can we see your OG form?

Charlie: Absolutely not!

Nate: Is it 'cause you're old?

Charlie: It's because your eyes would explode, all right, and your ears too if you could hear my original voice!

Mr. Parker's Cul-De-Sac [5.06]

Sara: Zari, your mission is to help Mick.

Zari: Okay, I have so many makeover ideas.

Sara: With his troll problem.

Sara: Okay, I think I have these stupid crostinis right. How's the salad?

Ava: Uh, just needs to be dressed, and then there's the soup.

Sara: How many courses did Ray have planned?

Ava: By my count, five. Six, if you include cocktails.

Sara: Come on, Ray! Nobody gets laid after six courses.

Nora: You know what, Dad? My life now? That's not Ray's choice. It's mine. I know you think all magic should be self-serving, but I like helping kids, because being raised by a demon cult instead of my own father.... That wasn't my choice. That was yours. So maybe working with kids helps cope with that. And you're right. I'm not the Nora Doll you remember. I like who I am. And I'm never going back.

Damien Darhk: I don't need a pep talk. But I do need you to do something for me. I need you to support her.

Ray: Of course. Always.

Darhk: No, I don't think you understand what I'm trying to say. Nora's job is very... important to her, and she can't do it on that silly little ship of yours. Nora belongs in the real world, and you belong together. I hope you understand what I'm trying to say here. [embraces Ray] Do the right thing, son, [hard] or I'll come back and get'cha. [lets go, laughs] I'm only kidding.

Ray: [laughing as well] Okay. That's what I thought.

Darhk: [suddenly serious] But not really.

Mick: [about his daughter Lita] She's better off without me.

Zari: She reached out to you for a reason.

Mick: She's an idiot. I'm an idiot. She's a pain in the ass. I'm a pain in the ass. The fact that she's not already in juvie is a miracle, and it proves one thing.

Zari: What?

Mick: I'm no good for her.

Romeo v Juliet: Dawn of Justness [5.07]

Sarah: Nuh-uh. You know the rules. No McGuffin talk until after I've finished my coffee.

[Mick is reading King Lear when Mona walks in.]

Mona: On a Shakespeare kick?

Mick: Didn't care much for those Italian kids, but this guy... this guy's a hero.

Mona: You know King Lear is a tragic figure whose stubbornness and fear of the future leads to his own misery?

Mick: Sounds like someone I can get behind.

Sara: All right Ray, what's up? Why haven't you told Nate that you're leaving?

Ray: Because... he's my best friend, and the moment I tell him then this all becomes real and um.. I know it's my choice, my decision. I don't.. I don't know if I'm really ready for it.

Sara: Do you remember when we first moved on the ship we left our entire lives behind us, we had no idea what to expect but because we embrace the change..

Ray: We made history.

Sara: Sure did. Who would have thought I'd still be here and now we be saying goodbye already.

Ray: I'm going to miss you Captain Lance.

Sara: Don't make me cry I'm going to miss you too Ray.. alot. Come here. [hugs him]

Nate: It’s a weird thing with friendship. It starts because you need each other, and then if you do it right and help each other grow, you need each other less.

Nate: Ray, I am so sorry I lashed out at you. It was just alot to process and I didn't know how to say it. The thing is I'm just really sad but I'm really happy for you guys

Ray: I'm sorry that you found out the way you did, and I just- I wish there was someway that everything and.. nothing could change all at once.

Nate: [puts his arm on Ray's shoulder] This sucks. But I love you.

Ray: [puts his arm on Nate's shoulder] This totally sucks. But I love you too.

[Nate and Ray embrace]

Zari, Not Zari [5.08]

Sara: Are you volunteering for Rory duty? Ava Sharpe, you are a better woman than I.

Zari: I mean, this other Zari sounds so smart and substantive, like a cool, third-wave feminist superhero that you and Nate seem to like better than me.

Behrad: First off, Nate is just a sucker for doomed romances. Secondly, of course I don't like her better than you. You're my favorite Zari of all time.

Sara: No one is responsible for the family they are born into. All that matters is who they decide to be, and you've decided to be brave and big-hearted.

Charlie: Thanks boss, but I am what I am.

Charlie: Oh, thank God.

Constantine: Yeah, I'd rather not, love.

Atropos: You can't kill me. I'm a god.

Sara: Yeah? I've faced worse.

The Great British Fake Off [5.09]

Gary: No one with an executive privacy button has good intentions.

Mick: Listen you dweeb, I gotta get out of here, I got a thing.

Zari: Aww, calling me "sort of" popular is like calling da Vinci "sort of" a genius.

Zari: What about you? What exactly do you do besides wear the same outfit every day and screw up spells?

Constantine: Well, I've banished demons, slain dragons, and walked through the Fires of Hell. I'm a sneaky bastard and the greatest sorcerer that ever lived.

Zari: Yeah, some great sorcerer.

Constantine: Ooh! Some great influencer! You could barely keep him distracted for ten minutes.

Zari: Oh, I'm sorry; should I have let myself be serial killed so you would've have five more minutes to *not* find the ring?

Ship Broken [5.10]

Gary: [to Mick] Oh, I see what's happening here. You're new to this whole parenting thing. You know what? I think you need some advice from the Papa Gare. Parenting is about doing the crap work, no matter how degrading, and never, ever once hearing a word of thanks. But you'll know in your heart that they appreciate it, even if the thought never crosses their minds.

Ava: You adopted Son of Sam's demon dog.

Gary: Oh, my God. At least I didn't buy from a breeder.

Ava: What are you not telling me?

Sara: What are you not telling me"'? There's a kid on the ship?

Ava: I...

Sara: [a dog barks in the distance] And a dog? Ava!

Ava: Gary has an emotional support animal. He had a signed letter!

Sara: That's not a thing!

Sara: [after taking the dog down with a somersault kick] Now what?

Constantine: To send the demon to Hell, I need to know its true name.

Sara: Well, I'm pretty sure it's not Gary Junior.

Astra: His name is Marchosias.

Gary Junior: Astra! You dick!

Ava: So, I was thinking maybe later we could...

Sara: Try blindfolding you?

Ava: Stop reading my mind, or it's gonna get awesome!

Freaks and Greeks [5.11]

Charlie: That thing's as real as Santa.

Nate: Shh! Gary's in the room!

Sara: I mean, I'm already a blind, time-traveling paragon who can see the future, so we might as well add wannabe god to the list.

Dion: Dude, back before people had free will, the gods were always reigning in the party, But look at me now!... Found a place where the party doesn't stop, and I haven't left since. Honestly, they worship me here, and they don't even know that I'm the party god.

Sara: How'd the mission go? You immortal sorority girls yet?

Charlie: I need a drink.

Sara: Mmm, the refreshing sound of failure.

Mick: You don't have to impress these idiots, these leeches. You're twice the person they'll ever be.

Lita: You fought a demon dog! And these people think they’re better than us because they have whales on their shorts? What do you say we find a way to piss off some rich kids?

Mick: I like the sound of that.

I Am Legends [5.12]

Sara: We're immortal, and we're superheroes, and we have to wait for the bus.

Charlie: So exactly how far is it to London?

Zari: Well, according to my phone, it says 275.8.

Nate: Miles or kilometers?

Sara: Does it matter? It's far.

Ava: And a reformed thief turned romance novelist.

Mick: Who you calling reformed?

Astra: I'll join you. But I have some demands.

Lachesis: Demands, really?

Astra: Yeah. Now I've experienced life on Earth again, some things have gotta change, like prunes. Disgusting, I want them gone. And dogs? They should stay puppies forever. Oh, and there's just one more thing. I want to bring my mother back to life.

Ava: Okay, fine, but this is only temporary because as far as I am concerned, we are co-captains for life.

Sara: Always.

The One Where We're Trapped on TV [5.13]

Swan Thong [5.14]

Season 6

Ground Control to Sara Lance [6.1]

Taglines

Dare to defy.
Their time is now.
So please, don't call us heroes. We're Legends
Sometimes we screw things up for the better

Cast

Arthur Darvill - Rip Hunter (Season 1–3, 7)
Casper Crump - Vandal Savage (Season 1, 4)
Brandon Routh - Ray Palmer (Season 1–5, 7)
Caity Lotz - Sara Lance
Victor Garber - Dr. Martin Stein (Season 1–3, 7)
Franz Drameh - Jefferson "Jax" Jackson (Season 1–3, 7)
Ciara Renée - Kendra Saunders (Season 1)
Falk Hentschel - Carter Hall (Season 1, 7)
Wentworth Miller - Leonard Snart (Season 1-3, 7)
Dominic Purcell - Mick Rory (Season 1–6)
Amy Pemberton - Gideon
Nick Zano - Dr. Nate Heywood (Season 2–7)
Matt Letscher - Eobard Thawne (Season 2, 7)
Maisie Richardson-Sellers - Amaya Jiwe (Season 2–3), Charlie (Seasons 4-5)
Neal McDonough - Damien Darhk (Season 2–3, 5)
Tala Ashe - Zari Tomaz / Zari Tarazi (Season 3–7)
Jes Macallan - Ava Sharpe (Season 3-7)
Courtney Ford - Nora Darhk (Season 3–5, 7)
Matt Ryan - John Constantine (Season 3-6), Gwen Davies (Season 7)
Adam Tsekhman - Gary Green (Season 3-7)
Ramona Young - Mona Wu (Season 4-5)
Olivia Swann - Astra Logue (Season 5-7)
Shayan Sobhian as Behrad Tarazi (Seasons 4-7)
Lisseth Chavez as Spooner Cruz (Seasons 6–7)

External links

Wikipedia

Wikipedia has an article about:

Legends of Tomorrow