Full House/Season 2

---

Seasons: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 | Main

---

Full House was a television sitcom that ran on the American ABC network from 1987 until 1995.

Cutting It Close [2.1]

Danny: Breakfast is ready. We're having pan... (sees Jesse's hair) ...cuts

Joey: (upon seeing Jesse's new haircut) You went from Eddie Van Halen to Pee-Wee Van Herman.

D.J.'s Very First Horse [2.4]

(D.J. has brought her horse inside the house)

Jesse: How did...? Where did you...? How'd - help me out here.

D.J.: I can explain.

Jesse: No, no, wait. Don't tell me. You're walking by the supermarket, and some kid had a litter of these in a cardboard box. (calls out) Joey!

Joey: Jess, I am trying to put the baby to-- Horse? How did you...? Where did you...? How did it--?

Jesse: My words exactly.

Joey: Oh, this is great. Danny's going to walk in here, see this horse and blame me for the whole thing. Do you know why? Because this is *very* funny.

(laughs)

---

Jesse: Danny's gonna flip his gourd. We gotta get this horse out of here.

Joey: Well, how do we get him out?

Jesse: We'll feed him, give him food. What does he eat?

Joey: Hay.

Jesse: We don't have any hay.

Joey: Jess, you went to the market, and you didn't pick up any hay?

---

Stephanie: Don't get me in trouble. Hide the tail!

---

D.J.: I'll tell you what, if you can keep this secret for two weeks, I'll let you own part of the horse.

Stephanie: Which part do I get?

D.J.: The tail.

Stephanie: My very own tail?

Beach Boy Bingo [2.6]

Danny: I am stoked! Whatever that means.

Joey Gets Tough [2.7]

Danny: You watch Wake Up, San Francisco because it's nice, and easy. Well this morning, I had a little too much coffee, so we're gonna do it nice... and rough.

A Little Romance [2.11]

Nick: (to Rebecca after she paid seventeen hundred dollars for Jesse in a date auction.) You know you could've had him for free.

Fogged In [2.12]

[Jesse enters his room where D.J. is recording her own version of "The Locomotion"]

Jesse: What are you doing?

D.J.: The Locomotion.

[Jesse looks closely at the tape]

Jesse: Where'd you get this tape?

D.J.: It was in there.

Jesse: Oh, no. [rewinds the tape] Please, tell me you didn't tape over my Casa de Pancakes jingle.

[after he's finished rewinding, he plays the recording on the tape of "The Locomotion", then to the end of...]

Jesse and Joey: [on recording] Casa de Pancakes. OLE!

[Jesse disappointedly stops the tape]

Jesse: I can't believe it! It's gone! You guys destroyed it! Now I'm gonna hafta do the whole thing over again.

---

Danny: What happened?

Jesse: Aw, they messed up my jingle tape. Joey's goin' away. I'm gonna hafta do this whole thing over again.

Danny: Don'tcha think you're overreacting?

Jesse: Overreacting? You think I'm overreacting?! I'm not overreacting! Okay?! I had this all worked out! I spent the whole night doin' it! Now my whole life is ruined! Okay. Now, I'm overreacting.

Danny: Jess, ya lost your temper again. Huh?

Jesse: Well, she shouldn't be in here-- [sighs] Ah, I'm just tired. I lost my cool. I did come down on her pretty hard. Didn't I? She'll be okay?

Danny: I think you better straighten this out.

Jesse: Yeah. All right. I know just how to handle this.

Danny: Good. Jesse?

Jesse: Huh?

Danny: D'you need a hug?

Jesse: Haven't I been through enough?

Pal Joey [2.15]

Young Jesse: Hey! One at a time!

Sheldon: There's the kid who was picking on me!

Miss Borland: That's it, I'm calling your parents!

Young Joey: But...

Young Danny: Wait, Miss Borland. That boy's lying, Joseph has been a perfect angel.

Sheldon: Tanner's the liar!

Miss Borland: That's not possible! Daniel Tanner's never been in trouble a day in his life. Let's you and I visit the principal, Sheldon.

Young Joey & Young Danny: Sheldon?

Sheldon: (Looking at Young Joey & Young Danny)

Young Joey: Thanks man, you saved my life!

Young Danny: You saved me first.

Baby Love [2.16]

Rebecca: Dustin? You would name our child Dustin?

Jesse: Yeah, you got a better name?

Rebecca: I sure do... Emily.

Jesse: No son of ours is gonna be named Emily.

Rebecca: Our daughter's name is Emily. Our son's name is Prescott.

Jesse: Prescott? Might as well name him Emily. Our son is gonna be called Dustin.

Rebecca: Prescott.

Jesse: Dustin!

Rebecca: Prescott!

Jesse: Dust... When did we have a kid?

---

Rebecca: Well, we better get going. You don't wanna miss your plane.

Connie: You're right, it might accidentally take off on time. Come on, Howie, wake up. It's time to go.

Michelle: Howie, no go.

Danny: Howie, yes go. Howie go back home.

Michelle: Me go.

Danny: [imitates an Indian] No, little Kemo Sabe. No can go to Nebraska. Take many moons.

El Problema Grande de D.J. [2.17]

Linda: Hasta luego.

Danny: Ah... El Pollo Loco!

---

DJ: Dad, you got to do something; listen to my report card. It's so unfair! A-A-A-A-A-A...

Joey: How dare they! This is an outrage!

DJ: Listen to my Spanish grade-D

Danny: A D in Spanish?

Joey: Que pasa?

DJ: Huh?

I'm There For You, Babe [2.20]

DJ: You have the brain of a paramecium.

Stephanie: If I have the brain of a paramecium, then you have the brain of just one mecium.

DJ: (to Jesse) There really is no way to beat her, is there?