Full House/Season 1

season of television series

Seasons: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 | Main

Full House was a television sitcom that ran on the American ABC network from 1987 until 1995.

Our Very First Show [1.1]Edit

Danny: Let's go mom, your bags are in the cab, the meter's running.
Claire: The baby's sleeping like a baby.

Jesse: (Seeing how small his closet is) Oh, great. I'm in Webster's room.

D.J.: Rule #1, you never touch my stuff. You should be taking notes. Rule #2, you never set foot on my half of the room.
Stephanie: How do I get outta here?
D.J.: Easy, you jump out the window and climb down the tree.
Stephanie: I don't think so.
D.J.: Suit yourself.
Stephanie: I'll find a way out.

Our Very First Night [1.2]Edit

Jesse: Now you can have ice cream and chocolate milk, no cookies.
Stephanie: Boy are you strict!

D.J.: Two bowls of ice cream sure gives you a lot of pep, huh?
Stephanie: Does pep mean you can’t blink?

The First Day of School [1.3]Edit

Stephanie: Okay, wanna listen to the pledge? I pledge allegiance to the flag of some states of America.
D.J.: Let me tuck you in, very tight.
Stephanie: And to the public which understands, with God, and Liberty... I'm dead meat!

Danny: Steph, don’t you want to go to school and be smart?
Stephanie: I’ll stay home and watch public television.

The Return of Grandma [1.4]Edit

Stephanie: (after Danny, Jesse and Joey have cleaned the house) Grandma Irene, does this mean hell is freezing over?

Danny: D.J., go put Annie Oakley in her bunkhouse. Jesse, find a corral for Trigger. Joey, I’m out of cowboy metaphors, so let’s put away the grub. I was wrong, I had one more.

Sea Cruise [1.5]Edit

Jesse: Danny, this kid has been walking for three days and you haven’t stopped taping. I’ll feel sorry for her when she starts potty training.

Stephanie: That's grandma, we gotta buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz off!

Daddy's Home [1.6]Edit

D.J.: Oh dad, after Stephanie’s recital, we hit the big sale at the Fashion Mart. Everything is half off.
Danny: Of course, that doesn’t save me any money, because you’ll just buy twice as much stuff, right?
D.J.: I like your attitude.

Danny: Sorry I’m late. I was doing a feature on “Great Moments in Bowling”, and I got hung up when I couldn’t find a second moment.

Knock Yourself Out [1.7]Edit

Sandman: Lou, you fired.

Jesse: [on the phone with Michelle’s doctor]: Of course I know how to take her temperature. You simply put the thermometer under her ... [pause] Where? Joey, it’s for you.

Jesse's Girl [1.8]Edit

Danny: Hold on, Steph, I'm gonna call the cable company.
Stephanie: You'll get a busy signal....fix it!
Jesse: I'm just smiling away like I'm Nancy Reagan.

Corinna: I love kids. That’s why I became a teacher.
Joey: It’s why I never grew up.
Corinna: You seems pretty grown up to me.
Joey: Oh yeah, I’m the only guy in the world who has Abe Lincoln’s head on a stick.

The Miracle of Thanksgiving [1.9]Edit

Danny: Who wants white meat? (cuts the turkey) Scratch the white meat. We have dark meat and really dark meat.

Joey's Place [1.10]Edit

Jesse: You waltz in here 25 minutes late and expect sympathy?
Danny: I didn't know...
Jesse: I have cleaned the house, and washed and ironed your clothes, and ran a daycare center for socially deviant munchkins, and missed Oprah. Ran this one to a ballet lesson, this one to a dentist. [shows D.J.'s teeth] No cavities, thank you very much. Do you realize I have slaved over a hot stove so you could have a hot meal when you come home?! Huh?! Hmm? Hmm? Hmm?
Danny: Jesse, I'm sorry.
Jesse: "Sorry". "Sorry". "Sorry" doesn't change the fact that my chicken tetrazzini is ruined! Ruined! It's all dried out. But do you have the common courtesy to call me and tell me you're going to be 25 minutes late?! NO! Well, I am not an animal. Oh, my God. What's happening to me? I'm turning into June Cleaver.

The Big Three-O [1.11]Edit

Danny: (To Michelle) What does Mr. Car say? You're right, he doesn't say anything, because he's dead.

Our Very First Promo [1.12]Edit

[Jesse and Joey hear the "monster"]
Jesse: North American Silver-Footed Ferret, adult male, 2 1/2 pounds. I'd say from the echo, he's heading towards the garage.
Joey: How can you possibly know this?
Jesse: It's a gift.

Sisterly Love [1.13]Edit

Jesse: Now, I bet you're gettin' tired of all that strained baby food, now, I've got you a corned beef sandwich with a big fat kosher pickle, now what do you want on the side, potato salad or coleslaw? Just the pickle, okay? It's still warm.

Stephanie: [reads her script] "I love Oat Boats, because Stephanie takes heaping spoonful of cereal. They taste great. She takes a bite."
[D.J. laughs, until her sister stares at her]
D.J.: Oh, I'm sorry. Go ahead. Rehearse.
Stephanie: [reads again] "I love Oat Boats, because Stephanie takes heaping spoon--"
[D.J. laughs again]

Half A Love Story [1.14]Edit

Stephanie: [about Jesse] What a guy, huh?

A Pox in Our House [1.15]Edit

Joey: Germs take one look at my body and say "Hey- why waste our time?"
Jesse: Women say the same thing.

Joey: I can't have chicken pox, I'm immune.
Jesse: You're immune to common sense.

But Seriously, Folks [1.16]Edit

Joey: I tried, and I failed. I'm just glad I figured this out now, and not when I'm 46.

Danny's Very First Date [1.17]Edit

Danny: [as his daughters enter with ice cream] Hey, girls. I thought we were going out for ice cream.
D.J.: We wanted to make sure we still liked it.

Just One of the Guys [1.18]Edit

D.J., Joey, and Jesse: [after scoring the first touchdown] IN YO' FACE!!

The Seven-Month Itch (1) [1.19]Edit

The Seven-Month Itch (2) [1.20]Edit

Mad Money [1.21]Edit

D.J. Tanner's Day Off [1.22]Edit

Jesse: Joseph and I must deal with your misconduct, young lady! [pause] “Misconduct”? “Young lady”? I really am turning into my father. If I start wearing a white belt and shoes to match, throw me down the stairs.

Stephanie: Daddy, take it easy. You’re hugging other people’s kids.

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