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Shrek 2

2004 film directed by Andrew Adamson, Kelly Asbury and Conrad Vernon

Shrek 2 is a 2004 animated film in which Princess Fiona's parents invite her and Shrek to dinner to celebrate her marriage, not knowing that the newlyweds are both ogres. It is a sequel to the previous film.

Directed by Andrew Adamson, Kelly Asbury, and Conrad Vernon. Written by Andrew Adamson, Joe Stillman, J. David Stem, and David N. Weiss.
Once Upon Another Time...(taglines)

DialogueEdit

[First lines]
Prince Charming: Once upon a time in a kingdom far, far away, the king and queen were blessed with a beautiful baby girl, and throughout the land, everyone was happy...until the sun went down and they saw that their daughter was cursed with a frightful enchantment that took hold each and every night. Desperate, they sought the help of a fairy godmother who had them lock the young princess away in a tower, there to await the kiss of the handsome Prince Charming. [the scene shows Prince Charming riding on his horse] It was he who would chance the perilous journey through blistering cold and scorching desert, traveling for many days and nights, risking life and limb to reach the Dragon's Keep. [enters the Dragon's Keep] For he was the bravest, [takes off his helmet] and most handsome... [shakes head in slow motion] ...In all the land. And it was destiny that his kiss [sprays in his mouth] would break the dreaded curse. He alone would climb to the highest room of the tallest tower to the princess' chambers, cross the room to her sleeping silhouette, pull back the gossamer curtains to find her...[gasps, seeing the Big Bad Wolf in Fiona's place]
Big Bad Wolf: What?
Prince Charming: Princess...Fiona?
Wolf: No!
Charming: [relieved] Oh, thank heavens. Where is she?
Wolf: She's on her honeymoon.
Charming: [shocked] Honeymoon, with whom?!
[Scene changes to Shrek and Fiona entering their honeymoon suite out of the gingerbread house]
Donkey: Say no more, say no more. You don't have to worry about a thing. I will always be here to make sure no one bothers you.
Shrek: Donkey.
Donkey: Yes, roomie?
Shrek: You're bothering me.
Donkey: Royal ball?! Can I come?
Shrek: We're not going.
Fiona and Donkey: What?
Shrek: I mean, don't you think they might be a bit shocked to see you like this?
Fiona: Well, they might be a bit surprised. But they're my parents, Shrek. They love me. And don't worry. They'll love you, too.
Shrek: Yeah, right. Somehow I don't think I'll be welcome at the country club.
Fiona: Stop it. They're not like that.
Shrek: How do you explain Sergeant Pompous and the Fancy Pants Club Band?
[Mid-way through the ride to Far, Far Away, Donkey becomes bored]
Donkey: But this is takin’ forever, Shrek, there ain't no in-flight movie or nothin’.
Shrek: The Kingdom of Far, Far Away, Donkey. That's where we're going. Far, far...[softly] away!
Donkey: All right, all right. I get it! I'm just so darn bored!
Shrek: Well, find a way to entertain yourself. [there’s silence for a moment, then Donkey pops his lips, then again, and Shrek grows more impatient, then Donkey pops his lips a third time] Oh! For five minutes... Could you not be yourself? [loudly] FOR FIVE MINUTES!!! [after another moment of silence, Donkey pops his lips one last time] AAAARGH!!!!!!! ARE WE THERE YET?!?!
Fiona: Yes!
Donkey: Oh, finally!
[Shrek gulps at the dinner table. To his sides sits Lillian and Fiona, and across from him sits Harold. Lillian looks around nervously and Harold angrily stares at Shrek. Shrek, unsure of how to eat the food on his plate properly, plops it in his mouth, and grins with the food still stuck in his teeth. Lillian cringes. Fiona tries to sip her drink courteously.]
Fiona: [lets out a loud belch that interrupts a conversation] Oh! Excuse me.
Shrek: Better out than in, I always say. Eh, Fiona?
[He and Fiona laughs]
Shrek: That’s good...
[They stop laughing after neither Harold nor Lillian join in.]
Shrek: I guess not.
Donkey: [from another room] What do you mean, "not on the list"? Don’t tell me you don’t know who I am. [bursts into the scene from the kitchen] Hey! What’s happening, everybody? Thanks for waiting. You know I had the hardest time finding this place. [sits next to Harold]
Harold: No, no! Bad Donkey! Bad, down!
Fiona: No, no, no, Dad! It’s all right! It’s all right. He’s with us. He helped rescue me from the dragon.
Donkey: Yup that's me. The noble steed. [to the server] Hey waiter! How ‘bout a bowl for the steed?
Shrek: Oh, boy. [slurps from the bowl]
Fiona: Um, Shrek?
Shrek: Yeah? Oh, sorry! Great soup, Mrs Q. Mmm!
Fiona: No, no. Darling. [demonstrates that the bowl he ate from is for washing his hands]
Shrek: Oh. [chuckles]
Lillian: [as the rest does the same] So, Fiona, tell us about where you live?
Fiona: Well, Shrek owns his own land. [to Shrek] Don't you, honey?
Shrek: Oh, yes! It’s in an enchanted forest abundant in squirrels and... cute little duckies and--
Donkey: What?! [laughs] I know you ain’t talking about the swamp!
Shrek: [clenches through his teeth] Donkey.
Harold: An ogre from a swamp. Oh! How original. [Donkey dunks his mouth in his bowl and drinks]
Lillian: Well, I suppose that would be a fine place to raise the children...
[Harold starts choking on his drink and Shrek accidentally swallows his spoon. They both gag until Shrek spits his spoon out onto the table.]
Shrek: [chuckles] It’s a bit early to be thinking about that, isn’t it?
Harold: Indeed. I just started eating.
Lillian: Harold!
Shrek: What's that supposed to mean?
Fiona: Dad, it's great, okay?
Harold: Well, for his type, yes.
Shrek: My type?!
Donkey: [starts to leave] Uh, I gotta go to the bathroom.
[The chef and a host of servers enter the room with dinner, including a whole turkey , lobster, and a pig.]
The Chef: Dinner is-a served!
Donkey: [sits back down] Never mind, I can hold it.
[The servers set the food on the table.]
The Chef: Bon appetit!
Donkey: Oh, mexican food! My favorite!
Lillian: Well, let's just not sit here with our tummies rumbling, everybody dig in.
Donkey: Don't mind if I do, Lillian.
Harold: [pulls the lobster towards himself] So, I suppose any grandchildren I could expect from you would be--
Shrek: [pulls the turkey towards him] Ogres, yes!
Lillian: Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Right, Harold?
Harold: Oh, no! No! Of course, not! [violently stabs into the lobster with a knife] That is, assuming you don’t eat your own young!
Fiona: Dad!
Shrek: [rips off both drumsticks off the turkey] Oh no, we usually prefer the ones who’ve been locked away in a tower! [bites them]
Fiona: Shrek, please!
Harold: I only did that because I love her!
Shrek: Oh, aye! Daycare or dragon-guarded castle?!
Harold: You wouldn’t understand! You’re not her father!
[Fiona sighs as Shrek and Harold continue to rip apart their food, sending bits and pieces flying across the table.]
Lillian: It's so nice to have a family together for dinner.
[Harold and Shrek tug over the pig in the middle of the table, accidentally sending it flying upwards.]
Lillian: Harold!
Fiona: Shrek!
Shrek: Fiona?!
Harold: Fiona!
Fiona: Mom!
Lillian: Harold--
Donkey: [happily] Donkey!
[The pig lands on the table with a thud. Fiona looks at Harold and Shrek, and then runs out of the room.]
[after Shrek snatched the "Happiness" card and the Fairy Godmother leaves]
Fiona: Very nice, Shrek.
Shrek: What? I told you coming here was a bad idea.
Fiona: You could’ve at least tried to get along with my father.
Shrek: Somehow I don’t think I was going to get daddy’s blessing, even if I did want it.
Fiona: [as a bichon frise starts barking] Well, do you think it might be nice if somebody asked me what I wanted?
Shrek: Sure. Do you want me to pack for you?
Fiona: You're unbelievable! You're behaving like a... [sighs]
Shrek: Go on, say it!
Fiona: Like an OGRE!!!
Shrek: Well, here's a newsflash for you! Whether your parents like it or not, I AM AN OGRE!!!!! [roars at bichon frise to shut up] And guess what, princess? That's not about to change!
Fiona: [walks to the door] I've made changes for you, Shrek. Think about that. [leaves]
Donkey: That's real smooth, Shrek. [mimicks Shrek] "I'M AN OGRE!! ARRRRRRR!!!!!"
Harold: Charming! Is that you? My gosh, it's been years! When did you get back?
Charming: [irritated] Oh, about 5 minutes ago, actually. [raised tone] After I endured blistering winds, scorching desert, I climbed to the highest room of the tallest tower–
Fairy Godmother: [cutting him off] Tut, tut, tut. Mummy can handle this. [to King Harold, using the same hostile tone Charming used earlier] He endures blistering winds and scorching desert! He climbs to the highest bloody room of the tallest bloody tower, and what does he find? Some gender-confused wolf telling him that his princess is already married!
Harold: [stammers] It wasn't my fault! He didn't get there in time.
Fairy Godmother: [to Kyle] STOP THE CAR!
Puss: [after attacking Shrek] Now, ye ogre! Pray for mercy from... [slashes "P" on the tree] Puss... in Boots!
Shrek: Ohh! I'll kill that cat!
Puss: Ah-ha-ha! [He drops the sword, then starts heaving for a second, confusing Shrek and Donkey. Then spits out the hairball and coughs.] [chuckles] Hairball.
Donkey: Oh, that is nasty.
Shrek: [picks up Puss by the back of the neck] What do you reckon we should do with him?
Donkey: I say we take the sword and neuter him right here. Give him the Bob Barker treatment!
Puss: [frightened] Oh, no! Por favor! Please! I implore you! It was nothing personal, Señor! I was doing it only for my family. My mother, she is sick. And my father lives off the garbage! The king offered me much in gold and I have a litter of brothers-
Shrek: [covers his mouth with his finger] Whoa...whoa...whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Fiona’s father paid you to do this?
Puss: The rich king? Sí.
[Shrek drops Puss to the ground, Puss screeches.]
Shrek: [sighs] Well, so much for Dad’s royal blessing.
Donkey: Oh come on, Shrek, don’t feel bad. Almost everybody that meets you wants to kill you.
Shrek: [sits on the rock] Gee, thanks. [looks down at the river reflection and sighs] Maybe Fiona would’ve been better off if I were some sort of Prince Charming.
Puss: Sí, that's what the king said. [Donkey gives him a dirty look] Oh, uh… sorry. I thought that question was directed at me.
Donkey: [walks over to Shrek] Shrek, Fiona knows you’d do anything for her.
Shrek: Well, it’s not like I wouldn’t change if I could. I just… I just wish I could make her happy. [pause] Hold the phone... [pulls out Fairy Godmother's business card] "Happiness." [flips it over] "A tear drop away." Donkey, think of the saddest thing that's ever happened to you.
Donkey: Oh, man, where do I begin? Well first there was the time that old farmer tried to sell me for some magic beans. I ain't never got over that. Then this fool went off and had a party and he have the guests trying to pin the tail on me. Then they got all drunk and start beating me with a stick going, "Piñata! Piñata!" What is a piñata, anyway?!
Shrek: No, Donkey! I need you to cry!
Donkey: Yeah, well don’t go projecting on me! I know you’re feeling bad, but you gotta let your own-- [Puss stomps on his hoof] OWWWW!!! You little hairy litter-licking sack of...
[Donkey's tear sheds and Shrek lets it fall onto the card. A bubble is conjured, and Fairy Godmother appears in it.]
Fairy Godmother: ["Voice Message" Bubble forms after landing] Is it on?, Is it on? [clears throat] What? Is it on? Is it on? This is Fairy Godmother. I'm either away from my desk or with a client, but if you come by the office, we'll be glad to give you a personal appointment. Have a Happy Ever After!
[bubble pops]
Donkey: Ohhh.
Shrek: Are you up for a little quest, Donkey?
Donkey: That’s more like it! Shrek and Donkey, on another whirlwind adventure! [singing] Ain’t no stoppin’ us now! Whoo! We’re on the move!
Puss: Stop, ogre! I have misjudged you.
Shrek: Join the club. We’ve got jackets.
Puss: On my honor, I am obliged to accompany you until I have saved your life as you have spared me mine.
Donkey: I'm sorry, the position of annoying talking animal has already been taken. Let’s go, Shrek! [sees Shrek walking to Puss] Shrek?
[Shrek looks down at Puss, who gives him a cute, helpless look. Shrek smiles.]
Donkey: Shrek?!
Shrek: Aw, come on, Donkey. Look at him… in his wee little boots. You know, how many cats can wear boots? Honestly. Aw, let’s keep him!
Donkey: Say what?!?!
[Puss purrs and Shrek marvels at his cuteness. Donkey groans.]
Shrek: Aw, listen. He’s purring!
Donkey: Oh, so now it’s cute!
Shrek: Aw, come on, Donkey. Lighten up.
Donkey: Lighten up?! Oh, I should lighten up?! Look who’s telling who to lighten up!
Shrek: All I made was a big, stupid mistake. I never should have rescued her from the tower in the first place.
[after drinking a beauty potion]
Donkey: I don't feel any different. Do I look any different?
Puss: You still look like an ass to me.
[Harold enters the back room of the Poison Apple, Charming and Godmother are sitting]
Harold: Fairy Godmother. Charming.
Fairy Godmother: Ugh, you’d better have a good reason for dragging us down here, Harold.
Harold: Well, I’m afraid Fiona isn’t really…warming up to Prince Charming.
Charming: Umm, F-Y-I, not my fault.
Fairy Godmother: Oh no, no, of course it’s not, dear.
Charming: I mean, how charming can I be when I have to pretend I’m that dreadful ogre?
Harold: No, no, it’s nobody’s fault. Perhaps it’s best if we just call the whole thing off, okay?
Fairy Godmother: What?!
Charming: What?!
Harold: I mean you can’t force someone to fall in love!
Fairy Godmother: Oh I beg to differ. I do it all the time. [gets out the red heart vial and hands it to Harold] Have Fiona drink this and she’ll fall in love with the first man she kisses, which will be Charming.
Harold: Umm, no.
Fairy Godmother: What did you say?
Harold: [stutters] I...I...I can’t. I...I won’t do it.
Fairy Godmother: Oh, yes, you will. If you remember, I helped you with your happily ever after. And I can take it away just as easily. [sticks her wand in his face] Is that what you want? Is it?
Harold: No.
Fairy Godmother: [puts her wand down] Good boy. Now, we have to go. I need to do Charming’s hair before the ball. He’s hopeless. Y'know he’s all high in the front, he can never get to the back. You always need someone to do the back of your hair.
Charming: Oh. Thank you, mother.
Donkey: [from outside the window] Mother?!
[Fairy Godmother, Charming and Harold turn their heads fast to see Shrek, Donkey and Puss standing at the window.]
Shrek: Um, Mary! A talking horse!
Fairy Godmother: [angrily] THE OGRE!!!!!
[Shrek, Donkey and Puss runs off from the Poison Apple, Fairy Godmother flies after them.]
Fairy Godmother: [to the guards] STOP THEM!! THIEVES!! BANDITS!! STOP THEM!!!
Donkey: Get us outta here!! You can't locked me you have it! Let me go! What about my Miranda rights? You're supposed to say, "You have the right to remain silent." Nobody said I have the right to remain silent!?
Shrek: Donkey, you have the right to remain silent. What you lack is the capacity.
Puss: [camera shows just Puss] I must hold on before I, too, go totally mad.
Pinocchio: Shrek? Donkey?
Puss: [looks up to see fairy tale creatures above him] Too late.
Shrek: Quick, tell a lie!
Pinocchio: What should I say?
Donkey: Say something crazy, like, "I'm wearing ladies underwear!"
Pinocchio: I'm wearing ladies underwear.
[silence]
Shrek: Are you?
Pinocchio: I most certainly am not!
[nose extends]
Donkey: It looks like you most certainly am are!
Pinocchio: I am not!
[nose extends]
Puss: What kind?
Gingy: It's a thong! [pulls at his pink thong and lets it slap back]
Pinocchio: Ow! They’re briefs!
Gingy: [takes the key and runs across Pinocchio's nose as it continues to extend with each denial] Are not!
Pinocchio: Are too!
Gingy Are not!
Pinocchio: Are too!
Gingy: [reaches Shrek and uses the key to free Shrek, Donkey, and Puss] All right, here we go. Hang tight.
[Shrek lands his feet on the cell floor. Then Puss.]
Donkey: Wait, wait, wait! Ow! Ow! Hey, hey, hey! [lands his back on the cell floor] Ow!
[Shrek looks at the Far Far Away palace from outside the window, then hears a muffle voice.]
Shrek: What? [sees the mouse's tail sticking out from Puss' mouth] Puss!
Puss: Hmm? [spits out a blind mouse] Sorry, boss.
Shrek: Quit messing around! We've got to stop that kiss!
Donkey: Oh, I thought you were gonna let her go.
Shrek: I was, but I can't let him do this to Fiona.
Donkey: Boom! That’s what I like to hear. Look who’s finally coming around!
Puss: But it’s impossible! We’ll never get in. The castle is guarded and there is a moat and everything!
Captain: Catnip...
Puss: That's, uh, not mine...
Mongo: [drowning] Be good.
Harold: No!

( wand rock and roll off in the floor )

CastEdit

Voice CastEdit

Additional VoicesEdit

Teaser TrailerEdit

Charming: Once upon a time, there was a handsome prince. Who set out on a quest to find a rare princess. But it was his destiny to climb to the highest room of the tallest tower to pull back the gossamer curtains to find her… [the prince gasps, seeing the Big Bad Wolf in Fiona's place]
Wolf: What?
Charming: Princess…Fiona?
Wolf: She’s on her honeymoon.
Charming: With whom?!
[The words 'ONCE UPON ANOTHER TIME...' The scene changes to Shrek and Fiona entering their bridal suite]
Narrator: They're off.
Donkey: Hey Come on Shrek! We don’t wanna hit traffic!
Narrator: On a new journey...
Donkey: Wow!
Narrator: To a distant land...
Donkey: Yeah, you working that hat!
Narrator: Where Princess Fiona...
Fiona: Well, this is it.
Harold: This is it.
Narrator: Can show her new husband.
[all gasping]
[dove gets hit by a wall]
Harold: Our daughter has married a monster!
[Fiona belches]
[both giggle]
Harold: An ogre from a swamp.
Lillian: Well I suppose that would be a fine place to raise the children.
[Harold splutters]
Shrek: [chokes; spoon clinks on table] It’s a bit early to be thinking about that, isn’t it?
Harold: Indeed. I just started eating.
Lillian: Harold!
Fiona: Shrek!
Shrek: Fiona!
Donkey: Donkey!
Lillian: It’s so nice to have the family together for dinner.
Narrator: DreamWorks Pictures presents...
Harold: I’m looking for the Ugly Stepsister.
Narrator: Old friends...
Donkey: Shrek and Donkey, on another whirlwind adventure!
Narrator: And a few surprises...
Puss: Pray for mercy from… Puss… in Boots! Fear me, if you dare! [hisses]
Donkey: I'm sorry, the position of annoying talking animal has already been taken.
Narrator: They're coming soon to a theater near you.
Donkey: This is taking forever.
Shrek: Well, find a way to entertain yourself.
[pop]
[Fiona notices Donkey will pop, and braces for the inevitable]
[pop]
Shrek: ARGH!

See alsoEdit

TaglinesEdit

  • In Summer 2004, They're Back for More.
  • Once Upon Another Time...
  • Not So Far, Far Away.

External linksEdit

 
Wikipedia
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