Shrek
2001 film directed by Andrew Adamson and Vicky Jenson
Shrek is a 2001 animated film about an ogre who, in order to regain his swamp, travels along with a donkey in order to bring a princess to a scheming lord who wishes to become King.

- Directed by Andrew Adamson and Vicky Jenson. Written by Ted Elliott and Terry Rossio. Story by William Steig (book)
The greatest fairy tale never told. (taglines)
Dialogue
- [The angry mob stops. Warily they part the bushes in front of them and we see that they are right outside Shrek's house. One named Chris steps forward determinedly]
- Villager #1: [sotto] Think it's in here.
- Villager #2: [sotto; intense] Alright. Let's get it!
- [Another villager named James looks alarmed and reaches out, grabbing Chris and stopping him]
- Chris: Whoa! Hold on! Do you know what that thing could do to you?
- [A third villager named Mike pipes in]
- Mike: [forboding] Yeah. It'll grind your bones for it's bread.
- [The other villagers all stare at Mike, bewildered. The villagers hear the new voice and spin around]
- Shrek: [brightly; laughing] Yes. Well, actually, that would be a giant.
- [Shrek is standing nonchalantly behind the villagers, he advances on them as he speaks, getting more intense and terrifying as he does. They back away frightened]
- Shrek: [continued; nonchalantly and building] Now ogres... Oh, they're much worse. They'll make a suit from your freshly peeled skin. They'll shave your liver, squeeze the jelly from your eyes! Actually, it's quite good on toast.
- [James leaps forward bravely waving the torch in front of Shrek]
- James: Back! Back, beast! Back! I warn ya!
- [Shrek leans away, avoiding the torch and watching James with casual indifference. When James is done with waving, he holds the torch threateningly in front of him. Shrek calmly moistens his thumb and forefinger and reaching forward, snuffs out the torch. The villagers stand stunned for a moment]
- James: Right.
- [Shrek lets out a huge roar and sprays the villagers and their torches with his spit. His spit puts out the fires on their torches completely. Simultaneously the villagers screw their eyes closed and scream for all they're worth. They then let out a huge, long scream. Their scream outlasts Shrek's roar and Shrek ponders them for a moment. And the villagers -- after Shrek has roared on their torches to put out their fires -- they briefly are seen crying because they are scared. The crying briefly continues and then they stop.]
- Shrek: [whispers] This is the part where you run away.
- [The ogre hunters all run as fast as they can. We cut in close on Shrek as he watches them go. He chuckles to himself]
- Shrek: [continued] And stay out!
- [Shrek suddenly notices a small flyer that the villagers have left behind. He pick it up and reads it]
- Shrek: [continued] "Wanted: Fairytale creatures."
- [He tosses it into the ground and heads back into his house]
- Old Lady: [moves Donkey's lips] I can talk. I love to talk! I'm the talkin'est damn thing you ever saw.
- Captain: [annoyed and angrily] Get her outta my sight!
- Old Lady: No, no! I swear! [Guards took her away]
- Shrek: [to Donkey angrily] Why... are you following me?!
- Donkey: I'll tell you why. [sings] ♪ Cause I'm all alone. ♪
♪ There's no one here beside me. ♪
♪ My problems have all gone. ♪
♪ There's no one to deride me! ♪
♪ But ya gotta have friends! ♪ - Shrek: Stop singing! Well, it's no wonder you don't have any friends.
- Donkey: Wow! Only a true friend would be that truly honest.
- Shrek: Listen, little donkey. Take a look at me, what am I?
- Donkey: Uh... [looks Shrek up and down] Really tall?
- Shrek: No! I'm an ogre! Y’know, "Grab your torch and pitchforks!" Doesn't that bother you?
- Donkey: [shakes his head happily] Nope.
- Shrek: [surprised] Really?
- Donkey: Really, really.
- Shrek: Oh.
- Donkey: Man, I like you. What's your name?
- Shrek: Um, Shrek.
- Donkey: Shrek? Well, you know what I like about you, Shrek?
- Donkey: [looks at a hovel] Whoa, look at that. Who'd wanna live in a place like that?
- Shrek: That would be my home.
- Donkey: Oh, and it is lovely! Y'know, you're really quite a decorator. It's amazing what you've done with such a modest budget. [looks at a boulder] I like that boulder. That is a nice boulder. [eyes the KEEP OUT signs surrounding Shrek's home] I guess you don't, uh, entertain much, do you?
- Shrek: I like my privacy.
- Donkey: Y'know, I do, too! That's another thing we have in common. Like I hate it when you've got someone in your face, you try to give 'em a hint and they won't leave, then there's that big awkward silence, you know... [silence ensues] ...Can I stay wit you?
- Shrek: Uh, what?
- Donkey: Can I stay wit you... please?
- Shrek: [sarcastically] Of course!
- Donkey: Really?
- Shrek: No.
- Donkey: Please! I don't wanna go back there! You don't know what it's like to be considered a freak, Shrek! [slight pause; Shrek gives Donkey a look] Well, maybe you do. But that's why we gotta stick together! You gotta let me stay! Please, please!
- Shrek: Okay! Okay. But one night only.
- Donkey: Ah, thank you! [runs to the chair inside]
- Shrek: Ahh! What are you doing?! No, no!
- Donkey: This is gon' be fun. We can stay up late, swappin' manly stories, and in the mornin', I'm makin' waffles!
- Shrek: Drrr'ohh!
- Donkey: Where do, uh, I sleep?
- Shrek: Outside!
- Donkey: Oh, well, I guess that's cool. I mean, I don't know you, and you don't know me, so I guess outside is best, you know.
- [Shrek discovers the Seven Dwarfs have placed Snow White on his kitchen table knocking everything on it, off.]
- Shrek: Oh, no, no, no, no! Dead broad off the table!
- Dwarf: Well, where are we supposed to put her? The bed's taken!
- Shrek: Huh?
- [rushes over to his bed to find...]
- Big Bad Wolf: What?
- Shrek: [Carrying Big Bad Wolf by the scruff of his neck angrily] I live in a swamp. I put up signs. I’m a terrifying ogre. What do I have to do to get a little privacy?!?!?!? Oh, no. Oh, no.
- [Shrek, his swamp filled with fairytale creatures, angrily glares at Donkey]
- Donkey: Hey, don't look at me, I didn't invite them!
- Pinocchio: Oh, gosh, no one invited us!
- Shrek: What?
- Pinocchio: We were forced to come here!
- Shrek: By who?
- Little Pig: Lord Farquaad! He hoofed und he poofed und he signed an eviction notice.
- Shrek: All right. Who knows where is Farquaad guy is?
- Donkey: Oh, I do. I know where he is.
- Shrek: Does anyone else know where to find him?
- Shrek: [in an announcement -- and to the fairytale creatures and villagers] OK, fine. Attention all, fairytale things. Don't get comfortable. Your welcome is officially worn out. In fact, I'm gonna see this guy Farquaad right now, and get you all off my land and back where you came from.
- [The fairytale creatures and villagers cheer happily]
- Shrek: [to Donkey] You! You're comin' with me.
- Lord Farquaad: [sees Thelonius and Felonious dunking Gingy in milk, as Gingy is saying “No!” and trying to talk in the milk] That's enough! He's ready to talk. [Gingy coughs and gets put down on a baking sheet; Farquaad chuckles, then signals for the table to lower; clears his throat] [playing with Gingy’s legs and holding them up] “Run, run, run as fast as you can! You can't catch me! I'm the Gingerbread Man!”
- Gingy: You’re a monster.
- Farquaad: I’m not the monster here! You are! You and the rest of that fairytale trash, poisoning my perfect world. [evilly crushes Gingy’s legs to crumbs as he shines a light on him] Now, tell me! Where are the others?!
- Gingy: Eat me! [angrily spits milk at Farquaad who wipes it away]
- Farquaad: [angrily grunts and straining] I’ve tried to be fair to you creatures! Now my patience has reached its end! Tell me, or I am...!
- [Farquaad angrily reaches, grabs at one of Gingy's gumdrop buttons, and threatens to remove one of them.]
- Gingy: No, no! Not the buttons! Not my gumdrop buttons!
- Farquaad: Alright. Who is hiding them?
- Gingy: Okay. I'll tell you. Do you know the Muffin Man?
- Farquaad: The Muffin Man?
- Gingy: The Muffin Man.
- Farquaad: Yes. I know the Muffin Man. Who-who lives on Drury Lane?
- Gingy: Well, she's married to the Muffin Man.
- Farquaad: The Muffin Man?
- Gingy: THE MUFFIN MAN!!!!
- Farquaad: She's married to the Muffin Man?
- [Door opens]
- Captain: My lord! We found it.
- Farquaad: Well, then what are you waiting for? Bring it in.
- [Guards hang a shrouded figure from a chain. They pull the cover off, revealing an ornate, full-sized mirror. A terrified face appears in the mirror]
- Gingy: Ohhh...
- Farquaad: Magic Mirror.
- Gingy: Don't tell him anything! [Farquaad drops in the trash can] No!
- Farquaad: Evening. Mirror, mirror, on the wall, is this not the most perfect kingdom of them all?
- Magic Mirror: Well, technically, you're not a king.
- Farquaad: Uh, Thelonius?
- [Thelonius the executioner smashes a small looking glass] You were saying?
- Magic Mirror: [nervous] I mean you're not a king yet! But you can become one! All you have to do is marry a princess...
- Farquuad: Go on.
- [arriving at Duloc]
- Shrek: [observing a giant building] So, that must be Lord Farquaad's castle...
- Donkey: Uh-huh, that's the place.
- Shrek: Do you think he's maybe compensating for something?
- [Shrek enters the tournament]
- Farquaad: What is that? It's hideous!
- Shrek: Well, that's not very nice. [gestures to Donkey] It's just a donkey.
- [Donkey and Shrek are now walking through the field heading away from Duloc. Shrek is munching on an onion.]
- Donkey: Let me get this straight. You're gonna go fight a dragon and rescue a princess just so Farquaad’ll give you back your swamp which you only don't have because he filled it full of freaks in the first place. Is that about right?
- Shrek: Y’know, maybe there's a good reason donkeys shouldn't talk.
- Donkey: I don't get it, Shrek. Why didn’t you just pull some of that ogre stuff on him? Y'know, throttle him! Lay siege to his fortress! Grind his bones to make your bread! The whole ogre trip.
- Shrek: Oh, I know what. Maybe I could have decapitated an entire village and put their heads on a pike, gotten a knife, cut open their spleen and drank their fluids. Does that sound good to you?
- Donkey: Uh, no, not really, no.
- Shrek: For your information, there's a lot more to ogres than people think.
- Donkey: Example?
- Shrek: Example? OK, uh... ogres are like onions!
- [holds up an onion, which Donkey sniffs]
- Donkey: They stink?
- Shrek: No!
- Donkey: Oh, they make you cry?
- Shrek: No!
- Donkey: Oh, you leave 'em out in the sun and they start turnin’ brown and start sproutin' little white hairs...
- Shrek: [peels an onion] No! Layers! Onions have layers. Ogres have layers. Onions have… Ogres have… You get it? We both have layers!
- [frustratingly heaves a sigh and then angrily walks off]
- Donkey: Oh! You both have layers! You know, not everybody like onions. Cake! Everybody loves cake! Cakes have layers!
- Shrek: I don't care what everyone likes! Ogres are not like cakes!
- Donkey: You know what else everybody likes? Parfaits! Have you ever met a person and said, "Hey! Let's get some parfaits!” And they said, "Hell no! I don't like no parfaits!"? Parfaits are delicious!
- Shrek: NO! You dense, irritating, miniature beast of burden! Ogres are like onions! End of story! Bye-bye! See ya later.
- Donkey: Parfaits may be the most delicious thing on the whole damn planet!
- Shrek: Y’know, I think I preferred your humming.
- Donkey: Do you have a tissue or somethin'? I'm makin' a mess. Just the word “parfait” make me start slobberin'.
- [Shrek and Donkey are crossing a wooden bridge over a moat of lava]
- Donkey: Don't look down, keep on movin', don't look down, don't look down, keep on movin', don't look down... [a board under Donkey breaks, prompting Donkey] Shrek, I'm lookin' down! [screams] Oh!
- Donkey: [screams] Don't do that!
- Shrek: Oh, I'm sorry. Do what? Oh, this? [rocks the bridge]
- Donkey: Yes, that!
- Shrek: Yes? Yes, do it? Okay. [continues rocking]
- Donkey: [screams] No, Shrek! I'm gonna die. Shrek, I'm gonna die! [By Shrek shaking the bridge and walking towards him, it forces Donkey backwards towards the end] Oh.
- Shrek: That'll do, Donkey. That'll do.
- Donkey: Cool. So where is this fire-breathin' pain in the neck, anyway?
- Shrek: Inside, waiting for us to rescue her.
- Donkey: I was talkin' about the dragon, Shrek.
- Shrek: Donkey, 2 things, OK? Shut up. Now, go over there and see if you can find any stairs.
- Donkey: Stairs? I thought we was lookin' for the Princess.
- Shrek: [picking up the knight's armor sleeves and helmet] The Princess will be up the stairs in the highest room in the tallest tower.
- Donkey: How do you know that?
- Shrek: I read it in a book once. [putting the helmet on and walking off to find the princess' tower]
- Donkey: Cool! You handle the dragon, I'll handle the stairs!
- Shrek: [after putting on armor] Well, at least we know where the princess is. But where's the--?
- Donkey: Dragon!
- Donkey: [gets cornered by Dragon] Oh, what large teeth you have! [Dragon roars] I-I-I-I…
- Fiona: Where are you going? The exit's over there!
- Shrek: [going to save Donkey] Well, I have to save my ass.
- Fiona: [shocked] What kind of knight are you?
- Shrek: One of a kind.
- Donkey: Hi, Princess!
- Fiona: It talks!
- Shrek: Yeah, it's gettin' him to shut up that's the trick!
- Fiona: The sooner we get to Duloc, the better!
- Donkey: Oh, you gonna love it there, Princess, it's beautiful!
- Fiona: And my groom-to-be Lord Farquaad, what's he like?
- Shrek: Well, let me put it this way, Princess: men of his stature are in short supply. [chortles, washes his face]
- Donkey: Yeah! There are those who think little of him!
- [Shrek and Donkey laugh]
- Fiona: Stop it. Stop it, both of you! Y'know, you're just jealous that you could never measure up to a great ruler like Lord Farquaad.
- Shrek: [grins] Maybe. But I'll let you do the "measuring" when you see him tomorrow!
- Fiona: [suddenly anxious] Tomorrow? Will it really take that long? Shouldn't we set up camp?
- Shrek: No, that'll take longer.
- Fiona: But there's... robbers in the woods!
- Donkey: [tense] Whoa, time out, Shrek! Campin' sure is startin' to sound like a good idea 'round here!
- Shrek: Hey, come on! I'm scarier than anything we're gonna see in this forest-
- Fiona: [furious] I need to find somewhere to camp NOW!
- Donkey: Say, Shrek, what're we gonna do with our swamp, anyway?
- Shrek: OUR swamp?
- Donkey: Y'know, when we're through rescuin' the princess and all that...!
- Shrek: Donkey...!? There's no "we", no "our". There's just ME and MY swamp! And once I get my swamp back, I am gonna build a 10-foot wall around my land!
- [As Shrek says this, he says that he is building a ten-foot wall around his land when he gets it back. That is, so Donkey can never come back to his swamp ever again. Because Shrek wants to be rid of Donkey for good.]
- Donkey: You cut me deep, Shrek. You cut me real deep just now... Y'know what, Shrek? I think this whole wall thing is to keep somebody out!
- Shrek: [sarcastic] No! You think?
- Donkey: Are you hidin' somethin'?
- Shrek: Never mind, Donkey.
- Donkey: Oh, this is one of those onion things, isn't it?
- Shrek: No, it's one of those drop-it-and-leave-it-alone things.
- Donkey: Why won't you talk about it?
- Shrek: Why do you want to talk about it?
- Donkey: Why are you blockin'?
- Shrek: I'm not blocking!
- Donkey: Oh, yes, you are.
- Shrek: Donkey, I'm warnin' you.
- Donkey: Who are you tryna keep out? Just tell me that, Shrek. Who?
- Shrek: Everyone, OK?!
- Donkey: Oh, now we're gettin' somewhere!
- Shrek: Oh, for the love of Pete!
- Donkey: Hey, what's your problem, Shrek, what you got against the whole world anyway, huh?
- Shrek: Look, I'm not the one with the problem, okay? It's the world that seems to have a problem with me! People take one look at me and go, "Aargh! Help! Run! A big stupid ugly ogre!" They judge me before they even know me - that's why I'm better off alone...
- Donkey: Y'know, Shrek... when we first met, I didn't think you were a big, stupid, ugly ogre.
- Shrek: Yeah, I know.
- [Shrek has been hit by an arrow fired by one of Robin Hood’s Merry Men that ricocheted off of a tree]
- Fiona: Oh, oh, this is all my fault...
- Donkey: Why, what's wrong?
- Fiona: Shrek's hurt!
- Donkey: Shrek's hurt? Shrek's hurt? Oh, no, Shrek's gonna die!
- Shrek: Donkey, I'm okay!
- Donkey: You can't do this to me, Shrek, I'm too young for you to die! Keep your feet elevated! Turn your head and cough! Does anybody know the Heimlich...?
- Fiona: Donkey, calm down! If you wanna help Shrek, run into the woods and find me a blue flower with red thorns.
- Donkey: Blue flower, red thorns. OK, I'm on it. Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. Don't die, Shrek, and if you see any long tunnels, stay away from the light!
- Both: Donkey!
- Donkey: Oh, yeah! Right. Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns.
- Shrek: What are the flowers for?
- Fiona: For getting rid of Donkey.
- Shrek : Ah.
- Fiona: Now you hold still, and I'll yank this thing out.
- [Fiona gives the arrow a little yank]
- Shrek: [jumps away] Ow! Hey! Easy with the yankin'.
- Fiona : I'm sorry, but it has to come out.
- Shrek: No, it's tender.
- Fiona: Now, hold on.
- Shrek: What you're doing is the opposite of help.
- Fiona: Don't move.
- Shrek: Look, time out.
- Fiona: OK. What do you propose we do?
- [Elsewhere]
- Donkey: Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. This would be so much easier if I wasn't color-blind! Blue flower, red thorns.
- Shrek: [distantly] OW!
- Donkey: Hold on, Shrek! I'm coming!
- [Donkey bites off a blue flower with red thorns from a bush. Meanwhile with Shrek]
- Shrek: Ow! Not good.
- Fiona: Okay. Okay. I can nearly see the head. [Grunts] It's just about...
- Shrek: Ow! Ohh!
- Donkey: [he sees Fiona on top of Shrek] Ahem.
- Shrek: Nothing happened.
- [Fiona falls off]
- Shrek: We were just, uh-
- Donkey: Look, if you wanted to be alone, all you had to do was ask. OK?
- Shrek: Oh, come on! That's the last thing on my mind. The princess here was just trying to help.
- [Fiona yanks the arrow out]
- Shrek: Ugh!
- [he turns to look at Fiona who holds up the arrow with a smile]
- Shrek: [hoarsely] Ow!
- Donkey: Hey, what's that? [nervous chuckle] Is that blood?
- [Donkey faints]
- Donkey: Man, isn't this romanic? Just look at that sunset.
- Donkey: [goes into the old windmill] Princess! Princess Fiona? Princess, where are you?
- [early dawn while Donkey sleeps, Fiona stays in the windmill and picks a sunflower's petals 1 by 1, decides weather or not to tell Shrek about her secret curse]
- Fiona: I tell him. I tell him not. I tell him. I tell him not. [signs] I tell him. [goes outside] Shrek! Shrek? There's something I want...
- [Fiona doesn't see Shrek around, then notices the sun rise. She shuts her eyes from the sunlight, as she transforms back to her human self]
- [after Fiona rides with Farquaad and his knights back to Duloc]
- Donkey: Shrek, what are you doin'? You're lettin' her get away!
- Shrek: Yeah, so what?
- Donkey: Shrek, there's somethin' about her you don't know. Look, I talked to her last night, she's...
- Shrek: I know you talked to her last night! You're great pals, aren't ya? Now, if you two are such good friends, why didn't you follow her home?!
- Donkey: Shrek, I... I wanna go wit you.
- Shrek: Hey, I told you, didn't I?! You're not comin' home with me! I live alone! MY swamp! Me! Nobody else, understand?! NOBODY!!! Especially useless, pathetic, annoying, TALKING DONKEYS!!!!!
- Donkey: But... I thought...
- Shrek: [starts storming off] Yeah, well, you know what?! You thought wrong!
- Donkey: [visibly hurt by what Shrek said] Shrek...
- Donkey: Donkey? What are you doing?
- Donkey: [gathering branches] I would think you of all people would recognize a wall when you see one!
- Shrek: Well, yeah... but the wall's supposed to go around my swamp, not through it!
- Donkey: It is around your swamp! That's your half and this is my half!
- Shrek: Oh, your half! Hmmm.
- Donkey: Yes, MY half! I helped rescue the Princess! I did half the work, I get half the booty! Now hand over that big rock, the one that looks like your head!
- [Shrek angrily removes the stick and Donkey stops him from moving]
- Shrek: Back off!
- Donkey: No! You back off!
- Shrek: This ismy swamp!
- Donkey: Our swamp!
- Shrek: Let go, Donkey!
- Donkey: You let go!
- Shrek: Stubborn jackass!
- Donkey: Smelly ogre!
- Shrek: Fine!
- Donkey: Hey, come back here! I'm not through with you yet!
- Shrek: Well, I'm through with you! (And I am, period!)
- Donkey: Uh-uh. You know with you, it's always "me, me, me". Well, guess what! Now it's my turn! So you just shut up and pay attention! You are mean to me, you insult me and you don't appreciate anything that I do! You're always pushin' me around or pushin' me away!
- Shrek: Oh yeah? Well, if I treated you so bad, how come you came back?
- Donkey: Because that's what friends do! THEY FORGIVE EACH OTHER!
- Shrek: [in a fake friendly tone] Oh, yeah. You're right, Donkey. I forgive you. [then in a mean voice] FOR STABBIN' ME IN THE BACK!
- [Shrek goes into his outhouse and slams the door behind Donkey.]
- Donkey: [groans in exasperation] You're so wrapped up in layers, onion boy, you're afraid of your own feelin's!
- Shrek: [from inside his outhouse] Go away!
- Donkey: See? There you are, doin' it again just like you did to Fiona, and all she ever did was like you. Maybe even love you.
- Shrek: [from inside his outhouse] Love me?! She said I was ugly! A hideous creature! I heard the two of you talking!
- Donkey: She wasn't talkin' about you. She was talkin' about...er, somebody else.
- Shrek: [comes out of his outhouse] She wasn't talking about me? Well then, who was she talking about?
- Donkey: Uh-uh, no way. I ain't sayin' anything. You don't wanna listen to me, right? Right?!
- Shrek: [comforts him] Donkey?
- Donkey: No!
- Shrek: OK, look. I'm sorry, all right? [Donkey lets out a soft hmph as if to say, "Not buying it. Try again."] I'm sorry. I guess I am just a big, stupid, ugly ogre. Can you forgive me?
- Donkey: Hey, that's what friends are for, right?
- Shrek: Right. Friends?
- Donkey: Friends.
- [He and Donkey shake hands]
- Shrek: So, um, what did Fiona say about me?
- Donkey: What are you askin' me for? Why don't you go ask her?
- Shrek: [in shock] The wedding! We'll never make it in time!
- Donkey: Ha-ha-ha! Never fear, for where, there's a will, there's a way and I have a way. [whistles]
- [Dragon enters the swamp, flying]
- Shrek: Donkey?!
- Donkey: I guess it's just my animal magnetism.
- Shrek: Aw, come here, you.
- Donkey: Alright, alright. Don't get all slobbery. No one likes a kiss ass. Alright, hop on and hold on tight. [Dragon gets Shrek on her back] I haven't had a chance to install the seat belts yet.
- [They all fly off back to Duloc]
- Fiona: [Shrek interrupts her and Farquaad's wedding] What are you doing here?
- Lord Farquaad: Really, it's rude enough being alive when no one wants you, but showing up uninvited to a wedding...
- Shrek: Fiona! I need to talk to you.
- Fiona: Oh, now you wanna talk? Well, it's a little late for that, so if you'll excuse me...
- Shrek: [stopping Fiona from marrying Farquaad and confesses his feelings to her] But you can't marry him.
- Fiona: Why not?
- Shrek: Because he's just marrying you so he can be king.
- Lord Farquaad: Outrageous! Fiona, don't listen to him.
- Shrek: He's not your true love.
- Fiona: And what do you know about true love?
- Shrek: Well, I... uh... I mean...
- Lord Farquaad: Oh, this is precious.[chuckling] The ogre has fallen in love with the princess! Oh, good Lord.[signaling his guards, one of them holds up a cue card reading "Laugh", and the attendees roar with laughter] An ogre and a princess!
- Fiona: Shrek, is this true?
- Lord Farquaad: Who cares? It's preposterous! Fiona, my love, we're but a kiss away from our happily ever after. Now kiss me! [Farquaad puckers up for a kiss]
- [Fiona notices the sunset]
- Fiona: "By day 1 way, by night another." [to Shrek] I wanted to show you before.
- [Fiona walks backwards towards the window, smiles sheepishly before closing her eyes. She then transforms back into an ogre, whispering: "True love's kiss, and then take love's true form." When she reveals her ogre form, the audiences gasps and 1 faints. Fiona opens her eyes and smiles to Shrek]
- Shrek: [surprised, but amused] Well, uh.... that explains a lot.
- Lord Farquaad: Urgh! It's disgusting! [Fiona gasps] Guards! Guards! I order you to get them out of my sight, NOW! [Guards arrive to snatch Shrek and Fiona side by side] Get them. Get them both!
- Donkey: Alright, nobody move! I've got a dragon and I'm not afraid to use it! I'm a donkey on the edge!
- Shrek: Fiona? Are you alright?
- [Fiona looks at herself, and sees she is still an ogre]
- Fiona: Yes. But, I don't understand. I'm supposed to be beautiful.
- Shrek: But you are beautiful.
- Fiona: Really?
- Shrek: Really, really.
- Donkey: I was hopin' this would be a happy ending...
- [Shrek and Fiona kiss]
See also
Taglines
- The greatest fairy tale never told.
- The Prince isn't charming. The Princess isn't sleeping. The sidekick isn't helping. The ogre is the hero. Fairy tales will never be the same again.
Cast
- Mike Myers — Shrek, Blind Mouse #2
- Eddie Murphy — Donkey
- Cameron Diaz — Princess Fiona
- John Lithgow — Lord Farquaad
- Vincent Cassel — Monsieur Hood
- James J. Cummings — The Captain of the Guards
- Bobby Block — Baby Bear
- Chris Miller — Geppetto, Magic Mirror
- Cody Cameron — Pinocchio, Three Pigs
- Chris Knights — Blind Mouse #1, Thelonius
- Simon J. Smith — Blind Mouse #3
- Conrad Vernon — Gingy
- Guillaume Aretos
John Bisom
Matthew Gonder
Calvin Remsberg
Jean-Paul Vignon — Merry Men - Aron Warner — Big Bad Wolf
- Frank Welker — Dragon
External Links
- Shrek quotes at the Internet Movie Database