Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo

1999 film by Mike Mitchell

Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo is a 1999 comedy film starring Rob Schneider. Other cast members include Eddie Griffin, Amy Poehler, Oded Fehr, Arija Bareikis and Bill Forsythe.

Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo is the first film released by the Happy Madison Productions film production company.


  • Passerby: Freak!
  • Passerby #2: Holy shit! It's Bigfoot!
  • Passerby #3: Hey, keep it in the circus!
  • Man: That's a huge bitch!


T.J.: See this ring? Topaz, my mother's birthstone. Know where I got the money for it?
Deuce: Where?
T.J.: Man-whoring! See this keychain? Mini yo-yo. Know where I got the money for it?
Deuce: Man-whoring?
T.J.: Stock market! But I got the money for the stock market from man-whoring.

T.J.: I prefer to think of myself as more of a... male madame. That didn't come out right.

T.J.: Don't make me he-bitch man-slap you!

T.J.: You know, Antoine's got a really bad temper. One time, I dropped a cigar ash on his carpet, and he made me pick it up with my anus.

Fowler: Do the letters T and J mean anything to you?
Deuce: I don't know. Turkey Jizz?

T.J.: Goddamn white boy.

T.J.: What about Antoine's apartment?
Deuce: I'm going to get the rest of the money the old-fashioned way.
T.J.: You going to steal it?

Bartender: There you go. That's uhh... $11.50.
Deuce: Ahh. No, no. Perhaps you misunderstood me. I wish to cancel my original order of the martini and two olives, and go for just the plain cranberry juice, by itself, for the $3.00. And I apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused you.
Bartender: Ahh, perhaps you don't understand. Ahh... if you don't pay me now, I'm going to uhh... take this swizzle stick, and uhh... I'll be shoving that right up your pee-hole.

Deuce: I couldn't help overhearing your Spanish.
Claire: It was French.
Deuce: Oui, French... Nice people.

Deuce: Look, I think there's been a mistake.
Fluisa: Did you say steak?
Deuce: No, mistake.
Fluisa: Oh. See, now you got me all excited.

Antoine: This is a 14th-century Hungarian crossbow. It has killed a king and changed the history of Europe. You mess up anything in my apartment... I'll shove it up your ass.

Deuce: Where am I supposed to get $6,000 in three weeks?

Deuce: Wow! What are those?
Antoine: Medieval weapons. I'm a colletor. They're worth twice as much if they've killed somebody.
Deuce: I collect Canadian quarters... I've got about six of 'em.

[The aquarium attendees catches Deuce cleaning a fish tank naked. He is shocked by their disgusted looks.]
Man: Yuck!
Woman: EWW!
[The next moment, he is escorted out of the aquarium by two burly security guards under orders from his boss]
Deuce: Swim trunks are loaded with detergents and other hazardous chemicals that could be harmful to fish.
[The security guards tosses him out of the facility with his gear and clothes in tow]


  • He's not very good looking. But when the lights go out... he's still not very good looking.
  • He charges $10.00 but he's willing to negotiate.



See also

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