Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo
2005 film by Mike Bigelow
Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo is a 2005 film, in which the former male prostitute Deuce Bigalow visits his former pimp T.J. in Europe, and then finds himself looking for a murderer who is killing the greatest male prostitutes of Europe.
- This guy, here? Baron Von Doggy Style. Led a pimping expedition to the Arctic Circle. Froze to death sixty-nining a moose. The only thing left of him...
- [takes the statue's stick]
- ...is this stick...
- [T.J. shows Deuce the stick]
- ...which he used to bitch-slap Eskimos.
- [After T.J. tricks Deuce that space cakes are not hash brownies, Deuce eats a space cake and starts hallucinating that he "enters a painting" per the request of the beautiful woman in the painting. Once "inside the painting", he approaches the woman]
- Beautiful Woman in Painting: Maybe YOU can help me.
- Deuce Bigalow: Really?
- Beautiful Woman in Painting: I don't want a man who's chiseled and sculpted. I like soft and weak.
- Deuce Bigalow: You do?
- Beautiful Woman in Painting: I want a man who's unemployed. And went to a community college.
- Deuce Bigalow: I am...and I did.
- Beautiful Woman in Painting: And you know what really turns me on?
- Deuce Bigalow: What?
- Beautiful Woman in Painting: Is thinking about him in his tighty whities...sitting at his computer...and visiting different porn sites...and taking the free tour...with no intention of ever joining.
- Deuce Bigalow: I don't have a credit card!
- Beautiful Woman in Painting: Kiss my chest.
- Deuce Bigalow: Okay!
- For the women of Europe... The price of love just got a lot cheaper.
- Same ho. New low.
- Rob Schneider as Deuce Bigalow
- Eddie Griffin as T.J. Hicks
- Hanna Verboom as Eva
- Jeroen Krabbé as Gaspar Voorsboch
- Douglas Sills as Chadsworth Buckingham, III
- Charles Keating as Giancarlo
- Carlos Ponce as Rodrigo Bollas De Madera
- Alex Dimitriades as Enzo Giarraputo
- Kostas Sommer as Assapopulus Borealis
- Miranda Raison as Svetlana Revenko
- Rachel Stevens as Louisa, the Dirty Girl
- Til Schweiger as Heinz Hummer
- Oded Fehr as Antoine Laconte
- Zoe Telford as Lily
- Dana Goodman as Greta, the Hunchback Girl
- Skytriss as Marlene Alsmere
- Julia Lea Wolov as The Big-Eared Girl
- Adam Sandler as Javier Sandooski (uncredited)
- Fred Armisen as Frenchman (uncredited)
- Norm Macdonald as Earl MacManus
- Kelly Brook as Beautiful Woman in Painting
- Arija Bareikis as Kate Bigelow