- I would love to stay at SNL forever. But you can't stay in the same place. People think you're a loser.
- In: Television Guide, Volume 45. Triangle Publications, 1997. Quoted in: "Norm MacDonald, Quotes" at imdb.com
- Every generation has believed they lived ins [sic] the End Time, @NellScovell. It is a product of Man's narcissism. Deeply, we believe that when we die, so then does the world. Which is true. Because when we die, we don't disappear, the world does.
- In: Twitter, 1:04 AM · Jul 26, 2019 to @NellScovell