Bob's Burgers (season 8)

season of television series

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Bob's Burgers is an American adult animated sitcom created by Loren Bouchard for Fox. The series centers on the Belchers—parents Bob and Linda, and their children Tina, Gene, and Louise—who run a hamburger restaurant.

Brunchsquatch [8.01]Edit

Felix: What do you want?
Louise: A lot of things, Felix, but right now I want money for a dog.
Felix: You owe money to a dog?

Teddy: Am I drunk, or are you guys having a weird conversation?
Louise: Both!

The Silence of the Louise [8.02]Edit

Louise (on the phone): Hello? Millie? Millie? Millie? Millie?
Gene: Give it 12 more Millie's and call it a day!

Teddy: Well, we're dissolving the poster business. Janine wants out.
Linda: Aw, Teddy, I'm so sorry.
Teddy: Yeah, well, the pet shop down the street offered to buy the rest of the posters at a deep discount. They're gonna shred them for hamster cage bedding. The guy was really impressed with how much hamster urine they could absorb.

The Wolf of Wharf Street [8.03]Edit

Teddy (exhausted): Wow, running with a coffee table's hard. No wonder no one does that.

Sit Me Baby One More Time [8.04]Edit

Jimmy Jr.: Why does that girl talk like a Gremlin?

Thanks-Hoarding [8.05]Edit

The Bleakening: Parts 1 & 2 [8.06-8.07]Edit

Louise: Okay, before we do this, let's talk weapons. What'd everybody bring?
Tina: Wait, what? None. Why are we talking weapons now? There was a much better time to do this, back when we were near weapons.
Louise: Well, I have extras. You're welcome. (sighs) Okay, here's what I got: ruler, for slapping or poking.
Gene: Or measuring.
Tina: Pass.
Louise: Key chain, for stabbing.
Gene: Or keys.
Louise: You could also take the key chain, and you could force it down a throat.
Gene: Yeah, you could sneak it into someone's mouth.
Louise: Yeah.
Gene: "Hey, what's that? Oh, keys in your mouth."
Tina: Wha-What else you got?
Louise: Uh, you know, mace, knife... but I'm keeping those.

Bob: All right, Tina said the corner of Garfield and Jackson, but those streets don't intersect.
Linda: She's not good with directions, Bob. Nobody is in our family. We're lucky we ever get anywhere. We're so stupid!

Linda: Listen, that thing can be explained. I don't know how, but it can.
Bob: Well, we can't go down.
Linda: No, Bob! We have to go forward. It's like IKEA. We can't turn back.
Gene: Watch out for Swedish meatballs!

Miss Triple X-mas: Twinkly lights, twinkly lights
That's what makes Christmas bright
All different colors, and all different types
I mean, sure there are a lot of white lights
But you need an assortment of lights
To do it right.

V for Valentine-detta [8.08]Edit

Tim Flanagan: I'm Tim Flanagan, and this is my brother Jerry. You may be asking yourselves, "Can I really do trapeze?" Well, look at me. I got 30, 40 extra pounds on me. I got diabetes, major depression, a weird skin thing on my foot, you name it. Point is, if I can trapeze, you can trapeze. We'll be learning tonight's routine on the low trapeze over those mats. And then moving to the high trapeze, complete with costumes and music. I know what you're thinking: "Will I really be ready for all that?" Well, in 45 minutes, your answer will probably be, "Sure."

Y Tu Ga-Ga Tambien [8.09]Edit

The Secret Ceramics Room of Secrets [8.10]Edit

Sleeping With the Frenemy [8.11]Edit

Jocelyn: We're going to a place where you can stand in four states at once. I'm gonna stand in California, Hawaii, Canada, and Chicago.

Linda: Alcohol does not solve problems, Miss Missy. It just makes them go away.

Linda: Bob, what's the racket down there?
Bob: Oh, we're just, uh, making jewelry for your birthday.
Linda: Oh, oh, I don't want to see! I don't want to see!
Bob: Uh, but when you do see it, it's gonna look store-bought and sensibly priced.

Tina: Tammy, I'm out. I can't do it anymore.
Tammy: Uh excuse me?
Tina: It's not fair. I think Brett likes me. You're Milli Vanilli, and I'm those super-talented studio musicians that probably had to sleep in the same room as Milli Vanilli while Milli Vanilli farted up the place.

The Hurt Soccer [8.12]Edit

Cheer Up, Sleepy Gene [8.13]Edit

The Trouble with the Doubles [8.14]Edit

Tina: Babysitting is a lot of responsibility, but at the ripe old age of 13, I think I've learned a few tricks. Watch this. (Yawns) Who's getting sleepy?
Gene: (yawns) Me. Oh, she's good.

Tina: I mean, zombies are more sexy than scary, right? I think everyone would agree with that.

Go Tina on the Mountain [8.15]Edit

Are You There Bob? It's Me, Birthday [8.16]Edit

Boywatch [8.17]Edit

Linda: Oh, you too, Sergeant Bosco?
Sergeant Bosco: Shush! I'm undercover.
Bob: You're wearing your badge outside your shirt.
Sergeant Bosco: Dammit! Just treat me like a regular customer.
Linda: Okay. What'll you have, Sergeant Customer?
Sergeant Bosco: I'll have a... coffee.
Gene: Very convincing.
Sergeant Bosco: Shush!

Gene: At least you get to keep that sweet whistle.
Tina: Uh, no. I have to return it tomorrow.
Louise: Can you at least play something one last time?
[Tina blows whistle]
Bob: Better not. It's kinda shrill.
Louise: You love mom.
Linda: What?

As I Walk Through the Alley of the Shadow of Ramps [8.18]Edit

Linda: Give it another day, and if you still hate it after that day, you give it another day. And you keep going like that, forever. That's what working is. But it's not all bad. They pay you, and you get to go home after and say "What a day!" and drink.

Mo Mommy, Mo Problems [8.19]Edit

Realtor Julia: I can see this house is winning you over! Do you think you're getting close to making an offer? Do you want to call your bank? Is that crazy?
Linda: Uh, no, it's not, uh, crazy. Uh, I can call them right now.
[Linda takes out phone, dials]
Linda: 1... 800... Bank. Uh, hi bank, it's Linda. Uh, yeah, it's Linda with the money. Uh, how are interest rates?

Tina: Full disclosure, this is squirrel blood, not human. Um, but each squirrel only bleeds a few ounces, so... do the math. (Groans) So many squirrels! SHE PEELS THEM LIKE FRUIT ROLL-UPS!

Mission Impos-slug-ble [8.20]Edit

Ms. LaBonz: Okay students, Mr. Ambrose is gonna watch you during study buddy time while I go outside to NOT smoke several cigarettes.
Mr. Ambrose: Okay, do your math or whatever. I don't know. You're never gonna use it. I don't use it.

Louise: Gene, you're gonna have to choose: Tina, or me? I lost one sister today. Am I gonna lose another?
Gene: Aaah! I can't decide! I'm like a sexy Switzerland!

Ms. LaBonz: So you were gonna climb up that hose by yourself?
Tina: Oh, um, yup.
Coach Blevins: Really? I teach you in gym.

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