Bob's Burgers (season 2)

season of television series

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Bob's Burgers is an American adult animated sitcom created by Loren Bouchard for Fox. The series centers on the Belchers—parents Bob and Linda, and their children Tina, Gene, and Louise—who run a hamburger restaurant.

The Belchies [2.01]Edit

Teddy: My uncle Paddy told me about it. He used to work in Caffery's, back in the fifties. He was his maid.
Bob: Your uncle Paddy... was a maid?
Teddy: All maids were men back then. Until women joined the workforce and took all the maid jobs away.
Linda: Alright girls! Go girls!

Linda: [worried] They're not here! I got Tina's diary, let's see if it says anything. [reads diary] "Dear Diary, tonight we're sneaking into the dangerous taffy factory. Also, if boys had uteruses they'd be called duderuses".
Bob: Ha, "duderuses."

Gene: I just can't stop banging things down here, the acoustics are great. Tina what song is this? [bangs brick on wall]
Tina: "Aqua Boogie," by P-funk?
Gene: Yes! Wow.

Bob Day Afternoon [2.02]Edit

Louise: Action!
Bob: [practicing] As you know, sir, we have several loans with your institution, all "past due." But what does "past due" even mean, you know?
Gene: It's brilliant! There's no such thing as time!
Linda: Gene was past due, and he came out fine.
Gene: I wish I'd stayed in there! [Dives under the table]
Linda: Hey! Get outta there!
Linda: Gene! Bob!
Bob: Oh God.
Linda: [annoyed] This is your son.
Louise: Sorry, Gene, no backsies.
Gene: You can't put the candy back in mom's wrapper.

Tina: I will punch you.
Investigator: I will punch YOU!
Louise: Ooh! He will!

Synchronized Swimming [2.03]Edit

Linda: I dreamed that I was breastfeeding Gene again, but he had a long, white beard, like Santa Claus. It was really freaky.
Gene: [suddenly perks up] That could be our next Christmas card.

Coach: You know the rules, Louise: no hats in the gym.
Louise: And I told you I have a raging staph infection under here. You touch this hat and we all go down! You want to play dodge ball in the hospital?

Louise: We have no PE for the rest of the year, my friends.
Gene: Yeah! Who needs it?
[Gene tries to open the door but can't]
Tina: Here, let me try.
[Tina opens the door easily]
Gene: Wow. I need to exercise.

Bob: Wow. Louise, You pulled a Caddyshack?
Louise: What's a Caddyshack?
Bob: The movie, Caddyshack.
Louise: I don't know it.
Bob: Wait, so, you you didn't just throw a candy bar in the pool?
Louise: No.
Bob: Wow
Louise: Yeah.
Bob: That's impressive.

Bob: Are we just going to ignore the fact that Louise just pooped in the pool?
Louise: Ignore it? I named it. Jezebel.
Linda: Awwww. My little grandoody.

Linda: You were right, Bob. I needed to let my baby birds fly. My bratty little baby birds fly with their crappy little wings. Sometimes you gotta push 'em out the window.
Bob: Yeah.
Linda: You gotta just push 'em right out there and if they fall flat [slaps hands together] then that's them.

Burgerboss [2.04]Edit

Linda: I had the video game company take your game away because I love you. It's like the time you took away the credit card from me when I was ordering all those porcelain babies.
[in flashback]
Linda: [singing] If you're not real, then how come I feel this way, lil' babies!

Gene: [referring to the game music on Burgerboss] That's the song I wanna lose it to. Mm-mm-mm.

Food Truckin' [2.05]Edit

Gene: It's the documentarian who hates Dad and puts wigs on cows!
Tina: Werner Herzog?

Dr. Yap [2.06]Edit

Linda: You're a hurtful slut, Bob!

Prince of Persuasia: [listing tips for attracting women] Dress like her dad. It releases a hormone called moan-atonin.
When you get into an elevator with a woman, press a higher number than her and then make a big deal about it.
Push her in a lake.
Be one of the tallest guys in the bar and brag about how long your butt-crack is.
Sing a song that you supposedly heard on the radio, and make fun of her for not knowing it.
Use the word "idiot."
Never make her pancakes. Force her to make you pancakes, in the middle of the night.

Moody Foodie [2.07]Edit

[At the Farmer's Market]
Gene: Dad, don't forget to get more monkey brains!
Louise: Yeah, and we need more unicorn testicles.
Tina: That's where dreams are born.

Louise: That's gotta be the food critic!
Bob: A Civil War reenactor?
Linda: Ugh, I can't stand all that drab grey. No wonder they lost!

Tina: Time for the charm bomb to explode.

Gene: It's him! It's the Moody Foodie!
Bob: Gene, that's Mike the mailman. You've seen him every day for the last five years.
Gene: It's the long con!
Tina: [pointing at Gene] It's him!
Bob: Tina, that's Gene.
Tina: Long con!

Bad Tina [2.08]Edit

Tina: [to Linda] Don't have a crap attack!

Louise: Tina's a lost cause, Mom. Time to focus on your good daughter - Gene!
Gene: I'm pretty!

Tammy: I did a booze cruise through your living room!

Andy: Cool, Mom packed tampons for lunch!
Ollie: Oooh, share!

Tammy: [pointing at Tina] You're a freak! [kids laugh, Tammy farts]
Gene: Oh my God, my ears can smell it! [backs away pointing at Tammy] Laugh-fart, laugh-fart!
[Kids point and laugh]
Zeke: Tammy made a blammy! Ha ha ha, gross!
Tammy: No, it— I didn't do it, it wasn't my butt! [farts] That wasn't me! [farts, cries, and runs away] No, no, it wasn't me. Ow, ow! That one hurt.

Beefsquatch [2.09]Edit

Linda: Bob, Gene, look at yourselves; you're father and son! You're supposed to love each other, not kill each other; this isn't the Bible!

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