Regular Show (season 7)

season of television series

Seasons: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 | Film | Main

The following is a list of quotes from the seventh season of Regular Show.

Dumptown U.S.A. [7.01] edit

Benson: Rigby, did you clean out the gutters yet?
Rigby: No way. That's a two-man job.
Benson: Well, where's Mordecai?
Rigby: I don't know. I haven't seen him.
Eileen: Come to think of it, I haven't seen him since C.J. dumped him at Muscle Man's wedding.
Benson: Yeah, no one has. He hasn't come to work for two weeks now. I tried calling, but he won't pick up.
Rigby: What? No, here. I'll call him. [grabs his phone from inside the couch and speed dials Mordecai's number; a vibration is heard and he hears it from the couch; opens Mordecai's phone and saw 300+ missed calls from Benson] Huh, that's not like Mordecai.
Benson: [frustrated] I can't believe this! You don't even know where your best friend is?
Rigby: Hey, I've been busy. [signs to which means hanging out with Eileen]
Benson: Look, I'm just concerned about the well-being about my employees as any park manager, but I've got a business to run in. If you don't find Mordecai and bring him back to work by tomorrow, then I'm gonna have to fire him.
Rigby: [shocked] What?! [stands up on the couch] Wait! I can find him!
Benson: Well for your sake I hope so, otherwise you'll be cleaning the gutters solo from now on.

Rigby: [answering a call from Eileen] Hello?
Eileen: Hey, I checked from Margaret. She hasn't seen or heard from Mordecai.
Rigby: Yeah, his parents don't know where he is, either.
Eileen: And I don't think he'll be hanging out with C.J. anytime soon. Well, I'll start putting these flyers around town. Hopefully a hundred should be enough. [takes out flyers of Mordecai missing posters]
Rigby: Well, I'll be privileging his personal stuff he doesn't like me touching, see ya. [hangs up; takes Mordecai's mattress off his bed and sees a note reading "Dumptown U.S.A."; picks up the note and reads it] "Dear Mordecai, stop wallowing in your lady woes and come have sodas…"
Sad Sax: [narrating] "…With other single bros! There's a place with hot sandy beaches and an All-You-Can-Eat buffet! So pick up your sax and jam with the crew in Dumptown U.S.A.! Signed, Sad Sax."
Rigby: [annoyed] Uh, Sad Sax Guy, I should have known! At Dumptown U.S.A.? That sounds so lame! I bet nobody's ever been to this place.
Benson: [off-screen] I have. [Rigby turns to him and later brings him into his office] Dumptown is a refuge for guys who have recently been dumped, a place where they can forget about their breakups and embrace their newfound single-hood.
Rigby: Wow. That's depressing.
Benson: Oh, no! Dumptown is great!

The Parkie Awards [7.02] edit

Mordecai: We've been here for four hours.
Benson: [whispering] What are you doing? You're acting like children! I'm up for park manager of the year. This is the big leagues. Gene usually sweeps the awards, But I know for a fact that I have a chance this year. [elbows Skips] I mean, after that embarrassing fertilizer fiasco East pines had?
Skips: It's in the bag.

The Lunch Club [7.03] edit

BENSON: YOU REALLY SCREWED UP THIS TIME!!
Mr. MAELLARD: Hold on now, Benson. You share as much to blame as he does. You are his manager.
RIGBY: It's true Benson. I told you I needed a nap!
Benson: You were tired because you were up all night PLAYING VIDEO GAMES!!!
Mr. MAELLARD: Enough! Rigby's a screw up but discipline starts at the top. So here's what's gonna happen. (opens the drawer and gets some paper and a pen out) One of you is gonna write a letter of resignation by 5 o'clock. No one leaves this office until it's done. And if you can't work it out, you're both fired! (slams door)

Local News Legend [7.04] edit

The Dome Experiment [7.05-7.06] edit

Benson: And Mordecai and Rigby, let's have you pick up trash by the snack bar.
Rigby: Ugh! Again?
Benson: Don't worry, this is the last time you'll be on trash duty for a while.
Mordecai: Awesome! Wait, we're not getting another intern, are we? Because I don't think I can handle another spy situation.
Benson: No, I've actually got some very big news about your dome-estic situation! (everybody stares at him) Hopefully it won't cause any pan-dome-onium! (everybody continues to stare) Dome you have any ideas about what's going to happen? (everybody is still staring) No one, huh? Well, since I have to spell it out for you, Maellard's decided to seal off the park in a dome to create a contained ego-system! A group of scientists from the government are going to study it for a whole month!
Muscle Man: Bro, have would we ever have guessed that?
Mordecai: A whole month? Where are we supposed to go?
Benson: You'll have to move out, the dome's dropping tomorrow! Isn't that exciting?
Pops: Why aren't you more upset about the inconvenience?
Benson: Because I don't live at the park.
Skips: So we can stay at your place?
Benson: Heh, well, my place, while officially a one bedroom, (the wind starts blowing strong) feels more like a studio. So there isn't really any room! (he looks up and sees a dome coming down onto the park)
Hi Five Ghost: It's not tomorrow! It's today! They're sealing the park today!

Birthday Gift [7.07] edit

Rigby: My presents aren't that bad, are they? [unwraps the gift, revealing a coffee mug saying, "World's Greatest Rigby"] Oh, no. I gotta get him something better.

Cat Videos [7.08] edit

Mordecai: Did you stay up all night watching Cat Videos?
Benson: Sure did. [laughs] Did you know there are internet cat celebrities? There's Fat Cat, Rat attack Cat, And Murray the Japanese Cat that likes boxes.

Struck by Lightning [7.09] edit

Dr. Matthews: Mm. Looks like everything's normal.
Muscle Man: I just have one question for you, doc. Who's this guy? [points to Hi Five Ghost, laying next to him, cheerfully smiling]
[The Park workers gasp in horrified shock that Muscle Man and Hi Five Ghost don't know each other]
Hi Five Ghost: Hi. I'm Hi Five Ghost. I actually work at the Park, too. I'm surprised we never ran into each other.
Mordecai: Whoa! You guys really don't remember each other?!
Muscle Man: What are you talking about, Mordecai? Why should we?
Hi Five Ghost: Yeah, I mean, how can I remember someone I just met?
Benson: How bad is it, doctor?
Dr. Matthews: They're suffering from a very specific form of amnesia--one that only targets the memories of their friendship.
Muscle Man: We're friends?
Skips: Is it treatable?

Muscle Man: [on video tape] Fives, I put on too much tanning oil, and now I can’t get up!
Hi Five Ghost: [on video tape] Don’t worry! I’ll help! [tries to pull Muscle Man back up on his feet and he falls on his front]
Pops: Wow! What wonderful memories! [chuckles nervously]
Hi Five Ghost: I, uh…I think I'm gonna call it a night, if that's okay. Thanks. [floats to the front door and leaves]

Hi Five Ghost: ♪ Animal olives were packed in a jar… ♪
Low Five Ghost: [knocking on the door and opens] Hey, bro. Cool song. Muscle Man's at the door.
Hi Five Ghost: [sighs and floats to the front door, where Muscle Man is standing, soaking wet] Yes?
Muscle Man: Bro, I know I don't seem very cool. But there's gotta be a reason we were such good friends, and I don't want to lose that.

Terror Tales of the Park V [7.10-7.11] edit

Benson: Hey, didn't I tell you to mow the lawn? Why are you watching TV?
Mordecai: I don't know. Just feeling "blah" today, you know?
Rigby: Yeah, kind of got a case of the afternoon sleeps.
Benson: (groans) I don't wanna hear it. Get back to work, OR YOU'RE FIRED.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Return of Party Horse [7.12] edit

Mordecai: We did it dude! We mowed the entire lawn with out taking a single break! You wanna go get some lunch?
Rigby: Aw yea-uh, I do! Nothing on Earth's gonna stop us from getting some lunch! Huh?

(They see a spacecraft falling out of the sky and lands on the lawn, creating a big hole)

Mordecai and Rigby: Party Horse! (They walk towards it as they chant) Party, party, party, party, party, par... (the spacecraft opens) Huh?
Party Horse 42699: (sniffles) Oh, Chrissy! (cries; Scene cuts to the house where he is lying on the couch and Mordecai and Rigby standing there) UUUUUUGGGHHH!
Mordecai: Dude, what happened to you?
Party Horse 42699: Chrissy happened, man, she dumped me, and she'll probably never talk to me again.
Rigby: That's rough, man. What went wrong?
Party Horse 42699: Augh! It's all her dad's fault. He always telling her my partying is "compulsive" and that i'm a "danger to myself and others." I tried to talk to my bros on Party Horse Planet for advice, but they just duct tape me to a flagpole and put my underwear down. After that, I came to Earth hoping you dudes can help me.
Mordecai and Rigby: Wooooaaaaahhhh...
Mordecai: Uh, don't worry, dude, we'll help you get your girlfriend back.
Party Horse 42699: You will?
Mordecai: It's easy, you just gotta get something nice to show her you care about her.
Rigby: Yeah, man, the mall has like 20 stores that only sells stuff for guys who need to apologize to their girlfriends. With our help, you'll be back in the saddle in no time.
Party Horse 42699: Dude, saddle jokes, not cool.

Sleep Cycle [7.13] edit

Benson: What are you doing?!
Both: Huh?!
Mordecai: What time is it?!
Benson: 6:00! The sun's already down, and you've raked NO LEAVES!
Mordecai: Oh, but--
Benson: No "buts," "ands," or "ifs"! I don't want to hear it.
Mordecai: Uh, I think it's "ifs," "ands," or "buts."
Benson: Well, if you talk back to me again And don't get back to work, your butts are gonna be FIRED!
Mordecai: Dude, this is serious. We got to get a good night's sleep.

Just Friends [7.14] edit

Eileen: Your dad? Tell him I said hi!
Rigby: Eileen says hi.
Sherm: Hi, Eileen!
Barbera: Hi, Eileen!
Rigby's family and Don: Hi, Eileen!

Benson's Pig [7.15] edit

Benson: I'm done with cats.

The Eileen Plan [7.16] edit

Rigby: [shocked when he sees an angry Eileen after the other girls walk off] Eileen?!
Eileen: [angrily] Rigby!
Braeden: How'd the old man land such a megababe?
Eileen: [blushing] Heh, well… [blushing fades; back to angry] No! You know, I don't like being lied to by my boyfriend. I missed the dance show to bring you soup! [runs off on her own]

Rigby: Eileen, are you okay?! Did you fall down the rock hole?!
Eileen: I'm okay! But it's pitch-black down here. I don't know how to get out.
Rigby: I'm comin' down!
Eileen: Actually, it'd be better if you went to get help! [sighs after Rigby falls into the cave]
Rigby: Eileen, I can explain! I was going to the hospital but I got lost!
Eileen: Rigby, I know you're not sick! Just tell me the truth!
Rigby: [sighs deeply] Okay. I'm not just hangin' out in a cave with teens for fun. I... I never graduated from high school.
Eileen: Really?
Rigby: This whole cave thing is just for school credits so I can graduate and get my diploma. I never cared until I saw the Eileen Plan, but now all I can think about is how you're gonna be the president, and I'm just gonna be some jerk you used to date.
Eileen: But I don't need a genius. I like you, just the way you are.
Rigby: Yeah?
Eileen: Yeah. [she and Rigby both stand up and bump into each other; sighs] What are we gonna do? It's way too dark to find a way out.
Rigby: Hmm. I got an idea.

Hello China [7.17] edit

Crazy Fake Plan [7.18] edit

Mordecai: [after watching an advertisement for Seeds of Agony by Jonno] Wow, that sounds crazy.
Rigby: [laughs] Crazy enough to work!
Mordecai: Dude, what are you talking about?
Rigby: [leans in closer to whisper] Can you guys keep a secret? I'm taking Eileen to see that tomorrow! And you guys are coming with! And, you're not gonna ruin the surprise!
Mordecai: What?
Margaret: It sounds a little intense.
Mordecai: And why's it gotta be a surprise? Is it a special occasion or something?
Rigby: No, and that's the point! She'd be expecting something if it was. I've made her laugh, cry, scream with terror when she fell into that cave hole, all the big emotions. But she's too smart to be surprised!
Mordecai: No way.
Rigby: If there's a mystery, she has to solve it. Whenever I try to surprise Eileen, she figures it out immediately. [Flashback to him dressed up in murder-mystery-style clothing and Eileen answers the door] Good evening, my lady. I'm here to warn you that trouble's afoot. You see, there's been a mur-
Eileen: [squeals with excitement] You're taking me to a murder mystery, right?
Rigby: Uh... yes.
Eileen: Great! I already picked out a dress so we could go!
[Another flashback]
Rigby: [carrying a telescope] Surprise! I'm taking you-
Eileen: To the conjunction of the Moon and Mars up on Lookout Mountain? I know! I'm so excited!
[Another flashback]
Rigby: Hello-
Eileen: You're taking me to the biannual mating season of the Hermit Crabs? You're the best!
[Back to the present]
Rigby: She's smart like that, dude. So I thought of a plan so crazy she'll never figure it out. Will you guys help drive us around?
Mordecai: Dude, you're being kinda crazy, but at least it's a nice kind of crazy.
Margaret: I think that's sweet Rigby. Of course we'll help you.
Eileen: [walks in room carrying a tray of celery and peanut butter] Who wants celery and peanut butter? Wait, I smell a surprise brewing.
Rigby: No. You don't.
Eileen: You're taking me to a movie after this.

Win That Prize [7.19] edit

Snow Tubing [7.20] edit

Eileen: Double black diamond?! Wait! NO, STOP! TURN THIS THING AROUND! I WANT TO GO DOWN!

Rigby: [calling out] Eileen, what are you doing?!
Eileen: I told you-- I'm getting my scarf!
Rigby: Stop lying! Just tell me what's wrong!
Eileen: I'll tell you what's wrong, the thrills, the chills, the spills-- snow tubing is not for me!
Rigby: How do you know? You never tried it.
Eileen: I did try it. When I was little, I went snow tubing with my dad. [Flashback to that day] We tried to hit a jump... but the inertia worked against us. The cold air felt like death on my face. And then... [gasps] that's when I got THIS! [pulls down her sleeve, revealing a scar on her elbow arm]
Rigby: What am I looking at exactly?
Eileen: A scar-- a bad one!
Rigby: Oh.
Eileen: Yeah. Ever since then, I've been afraid of snow tubing, I was just too embarrassed to tell you. I didn't wanna ruin the trip. I knew how much it meant to you.
Rigby: You shouldn't be embarrassed. I freak out over small spaces all the time. I'm not ashamed of my mucastaphobia.
Eileen: [giggles] Claustraphobia. And you're right.

Chili Cook Off [7.21] edit

Donut Factory Holiday [7.22] edit

Gymblonski [7.23] edit

Guys Night 2 [7.24] edit

Gary's Synthesizer [7.25] edit

California King [7.26] edit

Cube Bros [7.27] edit

Maellard's Package [7.28] edit

[Mordecai calls Benson after having missed their delivered package]
Benson: YOU MISSED IT?!?! ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS SIT THERE!! You do that all day anyhow, so why can't you do it when I tell you to?!!
Mordecai: We're sorry, Benson! We—
Benson: Just reschedule the delivery and fix this, OR YOU'RE FIRED!!!!! [phone cuts off]
Rigby: I'd say that was only about a five out of ten on the chewed-out scale. Not bad.

Rigby Goes to the Prom [7.29] edit

[Rigby and Eileen are both eating sandwiches at the cafe]
Rigby: Hey, do you want to go with me to prom?
Eileen: I guess it's a chaperone?
Rigby: Na, it's my date.
Eileen: Totally, I never got to go since no one ever asked me.
Rigby: Nice.

Mordecai: Rigby, you know I don't have a car.

Rigby: [whispering] No.
Don: [whispering] Bro.
Sherm: Will you two pipe down?! I'm trying to polish my picture of my prized car.
Barbera: [enters the dining room with both Rigby and Don's dinner plates; cheerfully] What a surprise for you boys to drop in.
Sherm: "Drop in." Ha! You really think Rigby would just come to dinner? I know you just need something.
Barbera: [takes a seat at the table] Oh, hush, Sherm. [to her boys] So, how are things at work?
Don: Great! We just picked up Cheezer's as a new client.
Sherm: That's our Donny!
Rigby: I ate at Cheezer's yesterday.
Sherm: That was a good update, Don.

Barbera: [walks upstairs] Rigby, you know this is a walk-in closet now.
Rigby: I know.
Barbera: I brought some tissues.
Rigby: I'm not crying.
Barbera: Oh, good. [sits down next to him]
Rigby: [sighs] Why does Dad still have to be such a jerk all the time? It's just, neither me or Eileen went to prom, and I want to make it special.
Barbera: Hmm… All right. I'll make you a deal. [gives Rigby the keys to Sherm's car, but on one condition…] No scratches, and I'm involved.
Rigby: [happily] Thanks, Mom.
Barbera: You show that girl a good time. [leaves]
Rigby: I will, Mom.

[Rigby pulls up at Eileen's house in his dad's car, knocks on the door and Eileen answers it, in her prom dress]
Eileen: [as Rigby puts her prom corsage on her arm] Wow! Hydrangea macrophylia, my favorite! [surprised as she sees Sherm's car] Whoa. Who lent you that thing?
Rigby: My dad. Pretty cool, right?
Eileen: Wow. That was nice of him. Let's go crazy like teens!
Rigby: But not too crazy, you know, 'cause of my dad's car.
Eileen: [puzzled and confused] Hmm?

Sherm: [trying to fix the tiny T.V.; groaning sulkily] Darn tiny T.V.! Can't fix it. Why can't you be more like your brother, the big T.V. downstairs?
Barbera: Sherm, I can't help but hear some metaphors in your insane ranting.
Sherm: Barb, you're killing me with this psycho babble.

[As Rigby and Eileen drive to Lookout Mountain in Sherm's car…]
Eileen: Are you okay? It looks like you're stewing. Rigby, please tell me what you're stewing about.
Rigby: My dad didn't loan me the car.
Eileen: What? You didn't… steal it, did you?
Rigby: No, my mom gave me the keys. But it's my dad, you know? He doesn't trust me with anything. I was hoping he'd finally be ready to see me as a real person. [raises his hand and lowers it with each category he says about Sherm] It's always Don, car, everything else, me.
Eileen: I know how you feel. My mom can get pushy, too, but she still cares. I'm sure your dad cares, too. There's no way this is more important to him than your happiness.

Tony: Do you ever look out at the night sky and think about how each one of those stars represents the infinite possibilities of our lives?
Eileen: Why, yes, Tony, I do.
Aiden: Shove it, Tony! [laughs; to Rigby] Yo, Rigby, sweet wheels. They yours, bro?

Tony: Bye, Rigby.
Aiden: Uh, good luck, man.
Sherm: Rigby… Oh, ho, ho, ho, Rigby. [to Eileen in the rear-view mirror] Eileen, close your ears. [Eileen puts on a pair of earmuffs; ratting out to Rigby, angrily, while driving down the mountain] I always knew you were a liar and a loser, but I never thought you'd be a thief! I guess I shouldn't be surprised. Seems like every day you find some new way to mess up our lives. And now, you found someone new to mess up their lives, too!
Rigby: [having to have heard that; sharply] What?!
Sherm: You heard me!
Eileen: LOOK OUT!

Eileen: [removing the earmuffs from her head] I'm just gonna go ahead and take these off now.

Rigby: Dad, I do stuff like this all the time. Just let me help!
Sherm: Of course you do stuff like this all the time! It's, uh… Uh… It's your fault we're here in the first place!
Rigby: Dad, stop! It doesn't matter if I ever get a big job or my G.E.D. You're still never gonna trust me, and that's on you! You're so focused on your car, you never noticed me growing up! Also, it's totally your fault 'cause you were the one driving and you weren't watching the road! Now, give me the wheel!
Sherm: No, it's my car! You'll crash it!
Rigby: Give it!
Sherm: Eileen, you too?
Eileen: I'm doing this for your own good, sir!
Sherm: [as Eileen pulls him away from the driver's seat] NO!
Rigby: Thanks, Eileen. [puts his seatbelt on and takes the wheel] I promise I won't mess this up.

Rigby: Eileen, did you have a good time?
Eileen: Oh, Rigby! That was the best and only prom I've ever been to! [happily hugs him]
Sherm: [doubtfully proud] What you did back there was really impressive, Rigby. I mean, it showed initiative. Maybe you have changed. So, uh… [shrugs] I guess you can borrow the car whenever you want.
Rigby: Thanks, Dad. Though, I probably should get a driver's license first.

The Button [7.30] edit

Benson: What the? Nobody’s guarding it? MORDECAI AND RIGBY!

Favorite Shirt [7.31] edit

Marvolo the Wizard [7.32] edit

King Edmund: Marvolo the Wizard. A powerful dragon hath decsended upon us, and only ye can stop it.
Pops: Oh, you must be the mad king.
King Edmund: Look, Marvolo, if you don't slay the dragon right now, the commoners will demand refunds, and my Kingdome shall crumble!
Pops: For the last time, stop calling me Marvolo!

Rigby: He's waking up.
Pops: King Edmund? Barnaby? Rignatius and Mordicus?
Benson: No, Pops, it's us. Everything is back to normal. The Park broke even and all is well.

Pops' Favorite Planet [7.33] edit

Pam I Am [7.34] edit

Benson: What if she doesn't like spicy? I'll take half spicy.
Mother: [annoyed] They're just wings, buddy.
Benson: [turns around; annoyingly triggered] "Just wings?" These wings might decide whether or not I get to go out with the girl of my dreams! [turns red; angrily shouting] Everything has to be perfect!
Daughter: [fearfully] Mommy, I'm scared.

Lame Lockdown [7.35] edit

VIP Members Only [7.36] edit

Deez Keys [7.37] edit

Rigby's Graduation Day Special [7.38-7.39] edit

Rigby: [at West Anderson High School] Come on, Principal Dean! You can't fail me!
Principal Dean: Who said anything about failing you?
Rigby: On the phone! You said it was "deadly serious"!
Principal Dean: Okay, I can see how that could sound ominous, but this is good news. Are you familiar with the television program "Inspire America"?
Rigby: You mean that cheesy show with inspirational stories that everybody cries then everybody dances at the end?
Principal Dean: That's the one! See, Rigby, apparently you're an inspiration to this country. Most kids who drop out don't come back, but you did. So you, Rigby, are gonna give this year's graduation speech on TV.
Rigby: But graduation's tomorrow!
Principal Dean: Better get movin'. Oh, and Rigby, if you screw this up for me, I'm gonna eat your diploma.
[Rigby sweats frozen still]
Principal Dean: Ha! I'm just pullin' your chain! Actually, no, yeah. I will eat it.

[Rigby calls Mordecai whose fixing Skips' van in the desert]
Mordecai: What?
Rigby: Mordecai! What's going on?! How're you still not here?!
Mordecai: [sighs] Rigby, I just... have stuff to do, okay?
Rigby: You already said you had stuff to do! Aren't you done doing your stuff?
Mordecai: No! [gets in van with six Coffini cans] I'm not done!
Rigby: Well, could you be doing that's more important than this?!
Mordecai: Come on, dude. [drives off] You gotta do this for yourself. I can't do everything for you.
Rigby: What buh—?! I've been doing stuff for myself all spring! I haven't needed your help all spring! Now that one time I do and you're not doing anything for me at all!
Mordecai: Yeah, that's right. I'm not doing anything for you. [hangs up, throws the cans onto the road]

Sherm: I don't understand why I had to put on a suit for this.
Barbera: Hush, Sherm!

Dr. Langer: [puts his hand on Mr. Maellard's shoulder as the park dome flies off into space] Don't worry. He'll be safe.

Eileen: Guys? What's going on?

External links edit

 
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