Regular Show (season 6)

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Seasons: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 | Film | Main

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The following is a list of quotes from the sixth season of Regular Show.

Maxin' and Relaxin [6.01]

Mordecai: She can't meet my mom, dude.

Rigby: What's the big deal? Your mom's totally cool.

Mordecai: She's totally psycho.

Rigby: What?

Mordecai: She'd always go out of her way to embarrass me whenever I had a girl over.

Rigby: Yeah, but how many times did you have a girl over? Zero? [stops playing his video game] Was it zero times?

Mordecai: No! Remember Daphne Gonzales?

[Flashback; Teenager Mordecai and Daphne Gonzales are both in Mordecai's room as he plays a mix tape reading, "Studyin' & Buddyin' Vol 2" and sits next to Daphne on his bed]

Daphne: Music?

Mordecai: Uh, yea-ah.

Daphne: [covers one of her ears] It's loud.

Mordecai: [covering one of his ears while talking over the loud music] So, what did you get for question 12?

Hilary: [kicks the door open and enters with a plate of snacks] Hey, kids! Sorry I had to kick the door open. It was closed for some reason. [laughs] This music! What's going on, a dance party? [starts dancing and moves toward the bed as Mordecai covers his face in embarrassment] Come on, Mordy! Shake what your mama gave ya! Your butt, Mordy! I'm talking about your butt!

Mordecai: What do you want, Mom?!

Hilary: I made some snacky-wackies for my wittle study buddies. Pigs in a blanket and, uh, prunes. [whispers to Daphne] Prunes are for Mordy, hon. Keeps him regular.

Mordecai: Mom!

Hilary: What? It does.

Mordecai: Ugh! Okay, Mom, fine! Just leave now, alright?! Gosh!

Hilary: [sets the snack plate down on a table] Okay, okay, Mordy. I'll leave. It's just… [turns to Daphne] Daphne, thank you.

Daphne: For what?

Hilary: For being the first girl Mordecai's ever brought over! [picks up a video camera] It's going on the tape! So tell me. How do you like studying with my son? Tell me for the tape.

Daphne: [picks up her backpack] I gotta go! [quickly bolts out of the room]

[Mordecai collapses onto his bed in a fetal position, with his face completely red of embarrassment; End of flashback]

Rigby: So that's why Daphne wrote, "I hope you're still eating your prunes, ha-ha!" in your yearbook.

Mordecai: Molly Sherman, Bernice Chan, Sasha Diaz… none of them lasted a day with my mom.

---

[Mordecai calls his dad, William, in his home office a little later]

William: [drinking his coffee as his phone rings and answers] Well, if it isn't my favorite and only son.

Mordecai: Uh, hey, Dad. I'm thinking about coming by the house with my girlfriend so I can grab one of my old mix tapes.

William: Girlfriend, eh? I'm sure your mom will love that.

Mordecai: That's kind of the problem. She gets weird when I bring girls home. It's embarrassing.

William: Wait. You've brought girls home? How many times? Was it zero times? Anyway, I know Mom can go overboard sometimes, but I'm not sure what you want me to do about that.

Mordecai: Just… Is there a time I can come by when Mom won't be home?

William: Well, she does have Puncher-cise tomorrow night, but--

Mordecai: Look, I know it's messed up, but please don't tell her we're coming.

William: Uhp, uhp! I can't lie to that woman. Haven't in 25 years. Except if she asks if she could still pass as a college student. Then you lie. Otherwise, no lies!

Mordecai: Just don't tell her!

[The next day, Mordecai and C.J. arrive at Mordecai's family house]

Mordecai: Dad, I'm here!

William: [happily] Ah, there's my boy!

[They share a hug]

Mordecai: Hi, Dad.

William: And you must be C.J. I'm William.

C.J.: [shakes hands with him; honored] Nice to meet you, sir.

William: Please, call me Will. "Sir" is my boss's name. Unfortunately, Mordecai's mom isn't around at the moment.

Mordecai: Mom's not here?! Darn it! Life's so unfair! Oh, well. Next time or whatever. Anyway, I'm just gonna run up and grab that tape so we can--

Hilary: [kicks the front door open, startling Mordecai, and enters the house] Where's my little champion?

Mordecai: Mom! [as Hilary runs up and hugs him; strained] You're home!

Hilary: Of course I am. You don't think I'd miss my handsome gent coming home, do you? And when your dad told me you were bringing a new sweetie over, I decided to take the afternoon Punchercise class so I could run right home to see you two.

[Mordecai glares annoyingly at his father]

William: [shrugs] 25 years, no lies.

Hilary: [meeting C.J.] And you, wow! Gorgeous!

C.J.: Yep. I'm smart and funny, too.

Hilary: And modest. She's the whole package.

---

Hilary: Let me show you the dessert. [shows Mordecai a cream pie topped with berries spelling C.J.'s name and Mordecai gasps mortified] See the berries spell out-- [Mordecai quickly scarfs the pie with his bare hands] Hey! Stop! What are you doing?!

Mordecai: [with mouth full] Sorry. It just looks so good you know? I couldn't wait. You still got it, Mom!

Hilary: You're lucky I have… a backup! [shows Mordecai a gelatinous dessert of C.J.'s likeness] Think she'll like it? It was hard to get all her features. Gelatin is such an unforgiving medium. But luckily, I got a bunch of her photos off the internet.

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[2 1/2 hours later; Mordecai, his parents, and C.J. are eating meatloaf for dinner at the dining table…]

William: He kept running and running.

Hilary: And he shoots the ball into the other team's basket!

[C.J. and Mordecai's parents all laugh while Mordecai pounds his fist on the table and groans in embarrassment]

Hilary: [laughs] Oh, memories. I've been collecting them, you know, C.J.

C.J.: Yeah. [playfully elbows Mordecai] I'm collecting a few interesting ones myself.

Hilary: No, I mean on tape. It's called "Mordy Moments."

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Baby Mordecai: [covered in spaghetti] Pasketti everywhere!

Hilary: Pasketti on your tushy.

---

Hilary: You know, you two should stay for a bit longer. We could eat the special dessert I made for C.J., then we could watch the tape!

William: Now where did I put it?

Hilary: I think you put 'em in the basement.

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Kid Mordecai: Dude, C.J. does think you're cool. But girls don't date guys who are jerks to their mom.

Mordecai: You're right, guys. Thanks. I needed that.

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C.J.: This is way cooler than a mix tape.

New Bro on Campus [6.02]

Muscle Man: When I first met Hi Five Ghost, I couldn't stand him. [Flashback to South Tree High School] You see, back in high school, I was the most popular guy for miles.

Daddy Issues [6.03]

C.J.: [turning dark grey with anger] HOW DID I MISS THAT SHOT?! [angrily throws the putter out of the golf course, breaking someone's windshield] It was so easy!

Mordecai: Whoa, whoa, CJ. No need to get upset.

Rigby: It's just mini golf.

Eileen: Is something the matter?

C.J.: I can't help taking mini golf seriously. It kinda runs in the family. [sighs] My dad is Carl Putter.

Mordecai: Whoa, Carl Putter? The world champion mini-golf pro?

Eileen: That explains so much.

Rigby: Wait, so your last name is Putter?

C.J.: No, that's just his mini-golf name. Look, it's not something I really like to talk about. Growing up with a mini golf legend as your dad, well… it can be pretty tough.

Terror Tales of the Park IV [6.04-05]

Mordecai: You're dead, dude.

Benson: What?!

Rigby: Yeah, man. Don't you remember?

[In another flashback, Benson hangs Halloween decorations on a ladder at the top of the stairs. Mordecai, holding up the beast mask, and Rigby walk up]

Mordecai: Benson, look at this mask!

Benson: Aah!

[Benson falls down the stairs and dies. His ghost leaves his body]

Rigby (voice-over): You've been haunting the house for months.

[Benson's ghost scares Rigby while he's eating cereal. When Rigby screams, Benson flees as if he's also scared. The same happens with Mordecai while he's carrying a box up the stairs. Cut to Mordecai and Rigby in the hallway, with Rigby trying to open a bottle of soda]

Rigby: No, dude. It's "lefty locky, righty relaxy".

Mordecai: That doesn't even rhyme!

[Benson's ghost appears again. It sees Mordecai and Rigby and moans in fright as he leaves. The flashback ends]

Benson: Then what are you guys doing here? You've ruined my office!

Mordecai: We're not in your office. This is our office.

Rigby: We got promoted!

Mordecai: And this isn't our office. [screen zooms out from Mordecai's face] It's a cemetery. [points down as lightning strikes] And that's your grave!

[Cut to Benson's tombstone, which reads "R.I.P. BENSON. 'YOU'RE FIRED'". Benson falls to his knees next to his tombstone]

Benson: NOOOOOOOO!!!!

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Eileen: And somehow this just got creepier.

[Mordecai, Rigby, CJ, and Eileen run toward the window, but Wyatt stops]

Eileen: Come on, Wyatt! What are you waiting for?!

Wyatt: [He looks at his reflection in a mirror] He might not be trying to kill us. And I really need a haircut...

Mordecai: What?! You look fine! Let's just go!

Wyatt: [He backs up into the hallway] No. He might be cool. I'm gonna chance it! [He runs toward the barber]

Eileen: Wyatt, no!

[Wyatt and the barber's shadows are cast on the wall]

Barber: What'll it be, sir?

Wyatt: Just a little off the top.

Barber: You got it! [laughing maniacally]

[Wyatt's severed head rolls into the morgue]

Wyatt: How does it look?

[Mordecai, Rigby, CJ, and Eileen scream]

Wyatt: Oh, come on. It's not that bad, is it?

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Muscle Mom: You know who else likes scaring people? [takes off the mask, revealing her face] ME! [pushes herself through the window; the guys scream in horror at her appearance and run out of the trailer] Wait, Mitchy! You forgot your candy! [with mouthful of candy] Happy Halloween! [howls; unzips the costume, revealing the real her] Ha! This costume gets my boys every year!

The End of Muscle Man [6.06]

Mordecai: You havin' fun, buddy? Enjoying your wings?

Muscle Man: Honestly, bro, they taste bittersweet. But I just wanted to have them-[sadly]-one last time.

Rigby: [covering his eyes] I can't watch.

Benson: [places his hand on Rigby's shoulder] Don't look away, Rigby, look at him! Look at this…Muscle Man! This guy, from who we've all learned so much--from this guy, his joke telling, his loyalty…

Hi Five Ghost: [near-crying] I never wanted to be anyone's best friend, until I met you.

Muscle Man: You guys…

Benson: [stands up] No, let me finish! What we'll remember most about you more than anything else is- [holds in a vomit] Excuse me. Your passion, Muscle Man. Your passion! If you'll all join me.

---

[after Muscle Man proposed to Starla and start kissing]

Mordecai: Wait, so Muscle Man was fine this whole time?

Muscle Man: I'm as healthy as can be.

Rigby: Then what was all the stuff with Dr. Henry?

Muscle Man: I just had to make sure I was fit enough to keep up with this she-lion. Thanks a ton, you guys, for helping me finish my bucket list.

Benson: [enraged] "Thanks?!" I BLEW TWELVE GRAND ON YOU TODAY!

Hi-Five Ghost: Do you even know what you put us through?!

Mordecai: Yeah, Muscle Man! We all thought you were gonna die!

Muscle Man: What are you talking about, bro?

Rigby: You had an appointment with Death!

Benson: You had to get your papers in order?!

Muscle Man: My toilet papers. I had to fold 'em into little triangles so my place would look nice for the after-party.

Death: [enters] And I'm only here to deliver his aunt's ring from the underworld.

Mordecai: Not cool, Muscle Man.

Muscle Man: Oh, come on! This is textbook engagement story. You shed your bachelor self before you get married and be a husband. All that death stuff was a metaphor.

Benson: "I LEAVE THIS WORLD TONIGHT" IS NOT A METAPHOR!!

Muscle Man: Ohhh. Oh, I see what you're saying. Sorry about that.

Rigby: Next time you die, you're on your own!

[Everyone leaves disgusted, save for Benson]

Benson: [sternly] You owe me $12,000. [leaves]

Muscle Man: [at Hi-Five Ghost] You get it, don't you, bro?

Hi-Five Ghost: [beat, smiles] Best proposal ever!

Lift With Your Back [6.07]

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Benson: We get it! (to Mordecai) It's a good thing you're here. I'm gonna need you to help Rigby change the lightbulbs.

Rigby: Oh, I can do that myself.

Benson: [sarcastically] Ha ha. Yeah, sure you can.

Rigby: Yeah, I can! I help all the time!

[Everyone including Catra and Scorpia laughs at Rigby]

Rigby: Why are you laughing?!

Catra: It sounds even stupider the second time! Seriously? Tung Lashor? Pfft! Who came up with that?

Scorpia: [chuckles] Right? It's like, what, did you lose a bet?

Muscle Man: Yeah, bro, without Mordecai, you'd be totally useless.

Rigby: Wha- Come on, Mordecai, tell him how useful I am!

Mordecai: Uhh...yeah, I mean, you're fun.

Rigby: What? No, tell him I'm useful!

Mordecai: Yeah, you're my friend.

Rigby: Why aren't you saying the word useful?!

Mordecai: Well, I mean there was the time with the chairs, the limousine, the pretzel. You're basically the opposite of useful pretty much anytime we do anything.

Rigby: But we did those things together!

Mordecai: Yeah, I mean, you were there.

Rigby: So the whole time I've been covering for you and CJ?

Mordecai: Well, I mean, it's the least you could do.

Rigby: The least...I could.....I quit.

Mordecai: What?

Rigby: I quit! I can get a paycheck anywhere!

[Everyone laughs at Rigby again]

Mordecai: Dude, you can't get a job without me. It's my references that got you this job in the first place.

Rigby: Reference this! I'm gonna go out and get a job, and I'm gonna make money at that job. and that money's gonna come in the form of a check! And that check's gonna be in an envelope, and the envelope's gonna be sealed, and I'm gonna rub that sealed envelope all up in your face, Mordecai! PEACE!

[Rigby makes a raspberry noise from the park all the way to the Local Temp Agency]

Eileen Flat Screen [6.08]

Announcer: Okay. Let me get a "honk-honk" in here 'cause you goosed (guessed) it!

[a guy honks his horn and goose flies away]

Announcer: It's time to announce the winner of the City College Modern Dance Competition. [pigeon flies by to give the man an envelope] Now, I don't want to "pigeon-hold" anyone, but first place today goes to Eileen Roberts with the dance "Chewed Gum"!

[Eileen screams excitedly and the audience cheers]

Announcer: To say you blew away the competition wouldn't be Ostrich (a stretch)! [Eileen squeals/screams again] Let's see how well you dance after a year of sitting in front of your very own flat screen TV!

Eileen: [joyous squeal] This is the best thing that's ever happened to me!

Mordecai, Rigby, and CJ: Flat-screen! Flat-screen!

Announcer: Thanks for coming everyone and for all of you losers today, don't Rooster (Brewster) on your laurels 'cuz there's always next year!

---

Joanne: [off-screen] I knew it!

Eileen: Joanne! I thought you were at the beach!

Joanne: I was at the beach, until I realized something like this might happen! How could I enjoy the surf and sun knowing you could be here, messing with my TV?

Eileen: I'm sorry! I didn't think it-- [gasps as Joanne smacks the remote of her hand]

Joanne: [to Eileen; threateningly] Next time, that remote will be your face. To clarify, next time I'll slap your face.

[End of flashback]

Rigby: I didn't even make that up, that's exactly what happened.

C.J.: Okay. [puts the snowglobe back in its place] So, I guess we shouldn't touch any of Joanne's stuff.

Rigby: Yeah, I think we'd just put the flat-screen on the wall over here, it'll be cool.

Mordecai: [looks closely at Joanne's TV] I can't believe she still has one of these junky old Hanatronics. This must be first generation it's so old.

Rigby: I told you, she's a beast. Her TV's probably too scared to die on her.

---

Joanne's Voice: I'll slap your face! [echoes]

---

Joanne: [off-screen] What are you doing?

Rigby: [turns around and faces her; frightened] AAHH! Joanne!

Joanne: Did you touch my TV?

Rigby: No.

Joanne: [walks towards him and jabs her finger into his chest] You better not, because the hand that touches my TV, is a hand you'll never get back. And by that… I mean I'm ripping it off your body, and keeping it.

Rigby: Look Joanne, I didn't-

Joanne: What's that?

Rigby: [covering the outlet] What's what?

Joanne: [walks forward] Move it, shrimp.

Rigby: No, wait!

Joanne: [shoves him aside, notices the moved plugs] I KNEW IT! You mess with my TV, I mess with yours. [jumps onto the flat screen on the wall, takes it down, and runs away with it]

Rigby: [worried] NO, NOT THE FLAT SCREEN!

Mordecai: Joanne, stop! We can talk this out! She's already half way up the street!

---

Rigby: [speaking through megaphone, to Joanne] We were wrong to touch your TV. Haven't you ever made a mistake?

Joanne: The only mistake I made was leaving my TV alone with that no-respect mooch-wad Eileen.

---

Grandpa Hanatronic: [gets out of the limo, angrily] Joanne, what have you done?!

Joanne: Grandpa Hanatronic, I can explain!

Mordecai: Wait, is your last name "Hanatronic?"

Joanne: Uh, yeah, hello? Joanne Hanatronic, heir to the Hanatronic Television Dynasty?

C.J.: [to Rigby] Did you know that was her name?

Rigby: [shrugs] I just thought it was a weird coincidence.

The Real Thomas: An Intern Special [6.09-10]

Benson: Guys, it finally happened! I met the perfect girl! Her name is Natalie, and she's a preschool teacher. I'll be showing her around the park today. So your only duties are to leave us alone. Just leave me and Natalie alone, people!

[Rigby raises his hand]

Benson: No, you can't use the bathroom, Rigby.

Rigby: That's not what I was gonna s—

Mordecai: Y'know, Rigby has a point. What about Audrey?

Benson: We broke up. Remember?

[Everyone can't remember]

Pops: I don't recall.

Benson: I was sad for months? I loafed around the house? [scoffs] Muscle Man and Pops, you took me to get ice cream! Skips, you made me train for that marathon! In fact, all you guys had a role in my lengthy healing process!

Skips: I don't remember any of this.

Benson: SECOND ORDER OF BUSINESS! [calmly] Today is Thomas' last day. Now keep this under wraps, guys, 'cause I want to surprise him. At the end of the day, I'm offering Thomas a full-time job!

[Everyone cheers except Rigby]

---

Benson: What're you guys doing here?! And what room is this? What's all this stuff?

Rigby: We don't know, but we're pretty sure Thomas has something to do with it. There was a guy in the cupboard, and we're pretty sure he did that too!

Mordecai: I think we stumbled on something really big.

Benson: What guy? What are you talking a—?

[Natalie enters the room, clapping slowly]

Natalie: [Russian accent] I know you Americans love the ironic slow clap.

Benson: Natalie? What's with the accent? What is all this?

Natalie: I am not Natalie! I am... (takes her clothes off) Natalia! And I am not lowly preschool teacher! I am Russian spy!

Mordecai & Rigby: Whoa!

Natalia: So clever, you Americans — only took two years to figure out things at park were not what they seem. And I am not only one right under your ignorant noses. One of your own has been conspiring against you.

Benson: What?! Who would do that?! Natalie, you're acting crazy!

Natalia: Oh, sweet Benson. Why don't you let him tell you yourself? Nikolai!

[Thomas enters the room; Benson, Mordecai and Rigby gasp]

Benson: Thomas, why'd you step out when she called for "Nikolai"?

Nikolai: [Russian accent] Because my name is not Thomas. It is Nikolai. And I am Russian spy.

[The guys react in shock in finding out that Thomas/Nikolai is actually a Russian spy; End of Part 1, beginning Part 2]

Mordecai: Dude, for real?!

Nikolai: [clearing throat] Yeah, I am Russian spy.

Rigby: Oh, snap! Now we're all boned! And guess who didn't believe me? You, and you, and you, and-! [Natalia punches him in the arm, silencing him]

Natalia: Silence, rat!

---

Mordecai: [heartbroken] Thomas, how could you do this to us?

Rigby: [betrayed] Yeah, man.

Nikolai: It's my job, guys.

The White Elephant Gift Exchange [6.11]

Mordecai: Man, which one should we give him?

Rigby: I don't which one's worse.

Benson: All of them. ALL OF THEM! Put all of them together, NOW!

Merry Christmas, Mordecai [6.12]

Mordecai: (imagining Margaret and CJ meeting each other at the Christmas party): CJ, this is Margaret. My girlfriend. (the ground gives way beneath him) I mean, my ex-girlfriend. (the hole gets deeper) I mean, a girl I kissed a bunch in the past who's my friend. (the hole gets even deeper) Should I stop talking now? (Screams as egg nog pours out of Margaret's and CJ's cups)

CJ: [disgusted] I never want to speak to you again, Mordecai!

Margaret: [also disgusted] Yeah, way to make things weird!

Mordecai: (screaming) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

(Flashback ends)

Mordecai: (In reality) NO!!

Sad Sax [6.13]

(CJ drives Past the Park and sees Mordecai and Margaret hugging and slams on the brakes)

CJ; (Toots Her car horn) OH, COME ON! Mordecai: (sees Her) Huh? CJ!

(Getting mad, CJ puts Her foot on the acelerator and drives off)

Mordecai: CJ! Wait! I can explain! It Was just a hug!

Margaret: Sorry Mordecai, l better Go before l Somehow Make Things worse.

Mordecai; Bye.

Sad Sax Guy: Man bummer week, huh? No offence, but your Game could use some serious tweaks brother.

Mordecai: (Angrily grabs Sad Sad Guy) YOU! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!!

Sad Sax Guy; What did l do?

Mordecai: I NEVER SHOULD HAVE LISTENED TO YOU! YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT ART AND YOU DEFINITELY DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT WOMEN! I DID EVERYTHING YOU TOLD ME, AND IT JUST MADE EVERYTHING 10 TIMES WORSE!!!!

Sad Sax Guy: (In realization) Ahh! It's true! I'm a total Fraud! I don't know nothing About nothing. (Breaks down in tears) I just tell people what to do to Try to feel like a big man. I don't Even know how to play This thing except for one song! And l wouldn't Even Know That If My mom had forced me to go take a lesson! I'm a hot mess! (gets an idea) Wait, of course. Mordecai, that's it. Your mom?

Mordecai; (Angrily) Dude, are you calling My mom a hot mess!?

Sad Sax Guy: What? No, no, l mean go ask your mom for advice, Brother. They know everything. Especially When it comes to women.

Mordecai; (sympthically puts his arm around Sad Sax Guy's shoulder) Dude, That's the only good advice you ever gave me.

Mordecai and Rigby Down Under [6.15]

[Benson in his office writing on a paper, then his phone rings and he answers it]

Benson: Hello, this is Benson.

Voice: Will you accept a collect call from... [Mordecai and Rigby are panicking on the phone for help]

Benson: [sighs] Accept.

Mordecai: Oh, my gosh, oh, my gosh, Oh, my gosh! We're in trouble, man. Benson, we're in Australia!

Benson: Haha, very funny, guys. Listen up, I missed you at work yesterday. If you don't come in Monday, don't bother coming in at all. [hangs up]

Rigby: What did he say?

Mordecai: If we don't come in to work on Monday, we're fired.

Rigby: Aw, man.

Mordecai: Dude, come on. We need to get to an airport.

I See Turtles [6.17]

CJ: Where do we turn off next, Eileen?

Eileen: (while looking in her bag) Hold on, let me check the directions! (finds some trail mix) Trail Mix? Oh no! This is my recreation bag! I left the directions in my school bag by mistake!

Rigby: (Takes the trail mix from Eileen) Wump-wump! (eats the trail mix)

---

Sea Turtle: Let's see if these pigs can fly.

Hank: Huh?

Sea Turtle: Do you see what I did there?

Benson's Suit [6.20]

Benson: [woefully burying his stained suit] Suit, you were the best thing that ever happened to me. You made me feel... [eats chicken wing] alive, full of... power, full of strong...ness! To you, suit—may we meet again in the next life.

---

Benson: This is either a miracle or I've gone insane. But who cares? I look good!

Suit: [spoke] "You sure do, Benson."

Benson: Thanks. Wha?! Who said that?

Suit: "It's me, Benson, the suit."

Benson: You... can talk?

Suit: "I can do many things."

Benson: Why didn't you say anything before now?

Suit: "I wanted to be certain that you were worthy. Incompetence aside, you showed me that you cared about me when you tried to clean that stain. I was created for a dark purpose, Benson. To be a status symbol for evil men—evil, mysterious, powerful, handsome, wealthy men. But after these last few days, I've realised that I would rather be worn by someone with absolutely none of those qualities. I want to live a simple life as the suit of a simple man. You are that man, Benson."

Benson: Cool.

Suit: "I'll never leave you, Benson. Also, if you're interested, I have a few ideas for keeping Mordecai and Rigby in line."

Benson: Let's go manage a park.

1000th Chopper Flight Party [6.22]

Mordecai: [gasps when he looks out and sees CJ on the ground, looking devastated] Uh, I can't be here, I-I gotta hang with CJ. [takes off his seat belt and stands up] CJ, hi! [the chopper jerks, making him lose balance and fall on Margaret's lap]

CJ: [furiously annoyed] Oh, come on! [turns grey] Did you think I wouldn't find out, that you could just make a fool of me forever?! [turns into a full on storm cloud and flies up towards the chopper] This is the LAST TIME!

Men in Uniform [6.24]

Rigby: Hey, Benson, what's with the fancy spread?

Benson: Mr. Maellard said he needed to give an announcement this morning. You know, you all could learn a thing or two about boss appreciation… [Mr. Maellard's limo suddenly crashes through the sweets; sighs and facepalms as Mr. Maellard gets out of his limo] Mr. Maellard! How nice of you to visit us today.

Mr. Maellard: No time for bollocking Benson. Take a seat. As you all aware: Park attendance has been declining for years. With no visitors, I'm basically just paying you boys to babysit Pops at this point.

Pops: And they're doing a bang up job.

Mr. Maellard: With that in mind, I've decided to shut down the park.

[The guys all start complaining]

Mordecai: No visitors?! Well, what about, uh, that guy? [points to Huge Head and everyone looks at him]

Huge Head: Wait, not yet!

Mr. Maellard: One ugly guy, plotting revenge on my son for the last four years isn't enough to keep the park open. You guys all had a good run, but I'm afraid you're all fired. Now, if you'll excuse me, I gotta go rig a yacht race.

---

Benson: What's the secret?! Why does East Pines get visitors when we don't?! It's the uniforms, isn't it, Gene?!

Gene: [sighs] Yes, Benson. It's the uniforms.

---

Benson: Well, guys, this is it, our last day, so I don't know, rake some leaves or something.

Garage Door [6.25]

Benson: (whistling, sighs) How many times do I have to tell them? Close the garage door when you're finished painting it! (shuts the garage door) What the...? Didn't I just close that? (opens the garage door, then closes it then growls)

Pops: Coming through!

Benson: Pops, no!

(Pops' car crashes into the garage door)

Pops: Bad... show.

Benson: MORDECAI & RIGBY!!!

---

Rigby: Pops, are you okay?

Pops: (groans) Optical illusion.

Fireman: Don't worry, sir! Thanks to the jaws of life, you'll never get trapped in an enclosed space again.

Mordecai and Rigby: Whoa!

Rigby: Where'd you get that?

Fireman: It came with the truck.

Benson: What were you two thinking?!

Rigby: It was just a joke!

Mordecai: Yeah, we were going to paint over it after our break!

Benson: Well, how's this for a joke? Buy a new garage door by the end of the day or you're fired!

Lunch Break [6.30]

Benson: (Laughing calmly then turned angrily)

Mordecai and Rigby: (Laughing)

Benson: This sandwich cost me $85!

Rigby: But you said we could order any sandwich we wanted!

Benson: I did. I said that. Now listen to ME as I say this. If you two don't eat this entire sandwich by the end of the day, YOU'RE FIRED!!

Dumped at the Altar [6.31].

Rigby; Hmm. You OK, Dude? You seem a little on edge. You and CJ?

Mordecai: What's to decide? I'm with CJ. We're happy. It's good.

Rigby: Uh huh.

Mordecai: (slightly annoyed) What? I Said it's fine. Just leave it. Besides, no offense, dude, but What Would you know about relationships, anyway?

Rigby: Well, actually, smart guy, l -- Eh..

Mordecai : Actually What?

Rigby: (tries to not tell the Truth)

Mordecai; SPILL IT!

(Rigby, who can't hide the Truth any Longer, shouts:)

Rigby; EILEEN AND I ARE DATING!!

Mordecai: (gasps While Making a shocked face with opened jaws and drops his Coffee mug, breaking on the floor, Coffee spilled everywhere)

Rigby: FOR LIKE, A COUPLE OF MONTHS NOW!!

(Cut to Mordecai's shocked Face)

Rigby: WE HAVE MATCHING BRACELETS!!

(Shows his bracelet That reads "HIS ♥️.")

Mordecai: Ah, Dude! That's crazy! Why didn't you tell me until Now?

Rigby: We didn't want to shove our happiness down your throat too much. Well, l Mean, l wanted to shove our happiness down your throat, but Eileen told me not to.

Mordecai; Ah, Dude. I'm happy too. I swear. Everything's fine.