ER (season 13)

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ER (1994–2009) is a long running medical drama, airing on NBC, that follows the lives of doctors and nurses in a Chicago emergency room.

Bloodline [13.01]

[Luka and Abby discuss a name for their soon-to-be-born son.]

Abby: We don't even have a name.

Luka: I was kind of hoping we could name him after my father.

Abby: Really?

Luka: Yeah. He will be thrilled to have a grandson named Mongo.

Abby: M-Mongo?

Luka: Yeah, it's a very popular name in Croatia.

[Luka grins, and they both laugh.]

Luka: I am just teasing you. My father's name is Joseph, and for that matter, name the baby anything you like, whatever.

Dr. Coburn: You know I want you to have a healthy baby

Abby: Then why do you keep focusing on the worst-case scenario?

Luka: It's her job.

Dr. Coburn: 12 of betamethasone.

Abby: Oh, come on!

Dr. Coburn: We have to mature the baby's lungs in case of an emergent birth.

Abby: No, no, no, no, no! I have two and a half months left to go. This baby is not coming until then.

Abby: Is one going to be enough?

Luka: What?

Abby: One baby. Um, my uterus wouldn't stop bleeding and Coburn did everything she could but...

Luka: You had a hysterectomy? (Abby nods) Well, one is all we need.

Sam: You know, Steve, I was gonna ask you what happened to you to turn you into this. But then I realized it was always in the cards from the moment that I met you. You were on your way to becoming exactly what you are now.

Steve: I love him. I know you don't believe that. Especially right now. But I do.

Sam: Yeah, you love him. Right. That's why you get some woman to snatch him from school and tie him up and leave him in a van. You don't even remember his medicine.

Graduation Day [13.02]

Frank: What'd you do, rob a pimp?

Morris: Yeah, your dad says hi.

Dr. Raab: Your daughter was a star student, when she was here in NICU.

Maggie: Really? [looks at Abby proudly] She never gives herself any credit.

Dr. Raab: The good ones never do.

Morris: I am not an ass-kissing company man; I'm an ass-kissing ER man, and I want my scrubs back.

Frank: Do you want the walls eggshell or white?

Kerry: Do I look like Martha Stewart? I'm the Chief of Staff, I've got real work to do.

[Abby and Maggie are watching the surgeons operate on Abby and Luka's baby boy]

Abby Lockhart: I can't do this. I can't pretend everything's gonna be ok. Premies don't make it out of the OR.

Maggie Wyczenski: Let it go. Abby, Abby. All the bad things you've seen, let it go.

Abby: And I can't believe I let myself get talked into this.

Maggie Wyczenski: Stop it!

Abby: I spent a month in the NICU, I know how this ends.

Maggie Wyczenski: Abby! You have a lot of great qualities, but optimism is not one of them.

Abby: [laughs] Whose fault is that?

Maggie Wyczenski: Yeah. Alright. I did not create a good environment for a child to grow up believing things would work out. But you're not a child any longer. You're the mother now. And that baby down there needs you to believe he's gonna be ok.

Anspaugh: Another round of epi! Guys, he's grey. Point 2 of epi. 10 cc's of pav, now!

Abby: I'm trying! I am really, really trying!

Somebody to Love [13.03]

Kerry: Hey Haleh, can you pass me a head-C and a three-pack of Vicodin? [to Hope] I'll get him started on something for the pain-

Haleh: Sorry. We got rid of head-C's about a year ago, and we're not allowed to dispense meds from the ER anymore.

Kerry: So what's a patient supposed to do if they can't get to a pharmacy?!

Haleh: You are preaching to the choir, sister- I liked it better when you ran the joint.

Morris: So, are you loving motherhood?

Abby: Yeah, it's, ah, it's bizarre.

Morris: Sore nipples?

Abby: [as baby Joe starts to fuss] I'm gonna have to feed him now.

Morris: Yeah, I'm down with that. Breastfeeding is a beautiful, natural thing, nothing to be ashamed of.

Abby: You're not sneaking a peek at my tits, Morris.

Morris: Okay.

Hope: Have you accepted Jesus into your heart?

Morris: Jesus from accounting?

Bennett Cray: It's all a beautiful lie that we tell ourselves. But it makes us feel better.

Parenthood [13.04]

Pratt: What's Morris's problem?

Sam: Brain damage is the first thing that comes to mind.

Abby: [to baby Joe] Can you say "Daddy is a butthead?"

Pratt: Jane is like...

Luka: What's wrong with Jane? She's good.

Pratt: No, Jane is creepy. I'm serious. She's always sneaking up on me. She's like those twins in The Shining.

[moments later, Pratt turns around and sees Jane smirking at him]

[Morris, who has a black eye and bruises on his face, accompanies a patient into the ER]

Pratt: What the hell happened to you?

Morris: I was attacked by ninjas.

Pratt: [looks at the patient] Who's this?

Morris: An obnoxious soccer dad... blunt head trauma, with LOC, breathing on his own. What's open?

Pratt: Talk to me, Morris.

Morris: Nothing to talk about! The guy came at me, I defended myself. I'm patching him up.

Pratt: Why'd he come at you?

Morris: Have you ever been to a kid's soccer game? [snatches the chart out of Pratt's hand dramatically and storms off] Parents are crazy!

Crenshaw: Mrs. Draper is back for her 27th hospital admission status, post-pancreatic pseudocyst.

Neela: 27?

Crenshaw: Yes, somebody needs to tell her the hospital stopped giving out frequent-flier miles. Oh, and she's a chronic rectal discomfort, and you two get to work her up and review her old charts.

Neela: All 27?

Crenshaw: No, why don't you just forget all about visits 6, 13, and uh, what do you think, 21? Yeah, that should keep it interesting. It'll be like playing patient roulette.

Ames V. Kovac [13.05]

Abby: Didn't you used to be ... ?

Gates: A paramedic? Yeah, now I'm an intern.

Pratt: Next week he wants to be a cowboy.

Gates: Astronaut.

Luka: At the time of Mr. Ames's numbness, there were 47 patients in the ER, 82 in the waiting room. I was treating a young mother who was the victim of domestic violence, nearly beaten to death; an 8-year-old hit by a car; and a 53-year-old heart attack victim. There are always sicker patients in the ER, and it was reasonable to believe Mr. Ames's numbness could wait!

Abby: I just don't want to be one of those crazy obsessive mothers who phones their babysitter every hour.

Gates: Mine used to tie me to my high chair. [Abby gives him a look] I'm sure yours is much better.

[Abby begins to unbutton her shirt]

Pratt: Wait, what are you doing?

Abby: I'm pumping. Sorry, my boobs are about to explode!

Pratt: Gates is a knuckle-head who would defibrillate with a car battery and some jumper cables.

Heart of the Matter [13.06]

Gates: Women are weird.

Frank: No, Neela's weird. Indian and Brit, bad combination.

Ray: I move my hips!

Kerry: Then move them over to admit.

Crenshaw: Are you trying to irritate me?

Abby: Well, you make it so easy!

Neela: How's the weather, Frank?

Frank: Hurricane Up Yours is about to hit. What do you want? I'm filing.

Neela: I'm just making small talk. How's it going?

Frank: Am I being punk'd? You never wonder how I'm doing.

Pratt: Dawn, meet Josie Weller.

Josie: Delightful to meet you! I've been so looking forward to this day!

Dawn: We're going to radiology, not Disneyland.

Josie: Marvelous squared!

Jigsaw [13.07]

Pratt: [Sees Luka bringing baby Joe to work] Who's this- the new chief of E.R?

Luka: Uh-huh. Training, so I can retire early.

Pratt: Good, we can use some new blood around here.

Gates: I'm new!

Pratt: You're too old to be new, Gates.

Morris: You turned down the chance to be the next Sanjay Gupta? Are you insane, woman?

Kerry: I have no interest in fluff pieces about sunburns and bee stings.

Morris: What's wrong with fluff? Half the patients who come through here are fluff! I'm the king of fluff!

Frank: Word is, you're the best fluffer in town.

Morris: I should've stayed a resident. No responsibilities, just heal 'em and deal 'em, that was the life.

Sam: Morris, can I tell you something as a friend? [Morris nods] Sometimes you are such a little bitch! You make three times as much as I do, and for what? Give orders, instead of take them? Boo-hoo for you!

Abby: Crenshaw is such a little prick! You know what? I bet I could take him too. Actually, I definitely think I could take him. And you? Could kick his ass.

Luka: You're scaring me.

Hope: I lied to Samantha about something- and now she's really steamed.

Morris: Oooh- bad move. Piss one nurse off, piss 'em all off- it's like the mafia.

Reason to Believe [13.08]

Hope: Everybody needs something to believe in.

Courtney: How do you come down from something like that?

Kerry: Err, a glass of wine and a hot bath at the end of the day help.

Courtney: Mmm, sounds good to me!

Kerry: Errr, alright... [walks off playing nervously with her hair]

Luka: [to Officer Hollis about Curtis Ames] Look, he followed my wife and child to the park. I'd like you to go and talk to him. Help me protect my family.

Gates: [about the boy Sarah likes] What do you think of this kid?

Meg Riley: Seems okay. Polite, kind of quiet.

Gates: All the common traits of a serial killer.

Kerry: Wow, I hope you didn't get that hitting a patient.

Pratt: Intern.

Kerry: Why are you even here?

Pratt: Paracentesis on a patient Gates couldn't handle.

Kerry: Welcome to being an attending. Wait, you didn... you... you and Gates didn't... You know what? I don't need to know!

Scoop and Run [13.09]

Pratt: [about Courtney Brown] Who was that?

Kerry: I just told you who she was.

Pratt: C'mon, hook a brother up-

Kerry: You know, your gaydar is terrible, even for a straight man.

Pratt: Oh. Well [chuckles] You have excellent taste in women, Dr. Weaver.

Kerry: Of course I do.

Pratt: Hey, um... can I ask you something personal?

Kerry: Maybe. [smiles]

Pratt: Ok. How, um...When [pauses] did you know you were gay?

Kerry: Are you coming out to me, Greg?

Pratt: No, no, no, no. I came home and found my brother with another guy.

Kerry: Really?

Pratt: Yeah. He says he's just experimenting, that it's only a phase.

Kerry: And what do you think?

Pratt: I don't know. Can a straight guy go through a gay phase?

Kerry: I think it's more likely that he's gay. Hey, and he's telling you what he thinks you want to hear.

Luka: Americans- so sentimental about their holidays.

Abby: This from the guy who celebrates Croatian Independence Day, Croatian State Day and something called "Patriotic Gratitude Day."

Jane: [on why she won't take Abby's transport page at the end of her Thanksgiving shift] I'm just saying, it's bad karma to mess with the universal order of things!

[moments later, Jane gets cranberry sauce vomited all over her by a new patient]

Abby: Sorry, Jane- karma sucks.

Kerry: All right; how do you stay so skinny and eat so much?

Courtney: Uh, look who's talking, little skinny mini.

Pratt: Well, it seems like good genes to me.

Courtney: You want to come over and watch some football with me and Kerry tomorrow?

Pratt: [whispering to Kerry] Damn, you're lucky.

[When Meg and Sarah walk in on Tony Gates and Neela making out on the couch]

Sarah: Oh, my God.

Gates: Meg, Sarah, this is Neela.

[There is a small pause and Sarah runs out]

Meg: [in a voice dripping with contempt] How many times do I have to tell you Tony? [pauses] When you leave the glass directly on the wood, it leaves a stain.

Tell Me No Secrets... [13.10]

Morris: Hope, would you drive a Lamborghini to a Laundromat? Hitch Seabiscuit to a plow? Have Eddie Van Halen play air guitar? I'm Dr. Morris. I don't do migraines!

Katey: [examining the X-ray of a patient] How'd he get an ice pick shoved in his ear?

Gates: Ran out of Q-tips?

Crenshaw: The human shish kebab will be fine, no thanks to that incredibly imbecilic stunt of yours.

Morris: Hey, how were we supposed to know the handle would break off?

Crenshaw: Ok, alright, just for fun, let's pretend that you each have even a modicum of gray matter that you've somehow managed to fashion into some crude rudimentary semblance of a brain. Then you would know you never pull out something near a vital structure unless you're in the OR.

Hope: We remove foreign bodies all the time in the ER.

Crenshaw: Pulling a vibrator out of someone's ass. Not the same thing.

Morris: Hey, hey! Dr. Bobeck acted under my supervision and on my orders.

Crenshaw: Perfect! It's the halfwit leading the dimwit!

Morris: Look, you obnoxious bore! The ER works damn hard for every patient we see. We acted in this guy's best interest when no one, not even surgery, would give him the time of day. Now, did we do something that didn't work? Yes. Fine, it happens sometimes. I will take full responsibility, but at least we got off of our asses and tried to help.

Crenshaw: Oh, well, gold stars for the ER asses!

Morris: Hey! What is it about your need to belittle other people? Does insulting someone make you feel like a man? Bolster what little self-esteem you're clinging to? Wow! You know, I can't even begin to imagine what happened in your life to make you the kind of person that everybody hates.

[Crenshaw stares at him for a moment, unable to form a reply, then leaves]

Hope: I could kiss you right now.

Morris: Really?

Hope: Umm...Now it's gone.

Luka: [while feeding Joe] Joe! Next time, try eating your apricots, not throwing them! [Joe smiles] Hey! You think this is funny? [Joe laughs, and Luka gently imitates his laughter, then puts the spoon down and sits him up in his high chair] Girls don't like it when you wear your food. Trust me.

Pratt: Turns out, not everyone who experiments is gay.

Kerry: Excuse me?

Pratt: I'm talking about my brother, Chaz. It's like he said, it's just a phase.

Kerry: Is that so?

Pratt: Yep. You remember that girl he took home for Thanksgiving?

Kerry: Um hmm.

Pratt: Well, she spent the night. My brother's straight!

Kerry: Gee, Greg, you must be so proud.

Pratt: What? No, that's not what I meant. What I meant was, uhh...well, you, you know.

Kerry: Yeah, and you're not my only black friend.

City of Mercy [13.11]

Luka: When Jasna and the kids died, I needed to make a change, and I decided to move here. Made my brother really angry. He said that I was a coward, and that I was running away. And it's only recently that I've come to know that he was wrong. I wasn't running away from anything. I was running to you. And I'll never let anything take this away.

Morris: Don't you know that there's a rule that if millions of kids believe in the same thing, it becomes real?

Melia: That's not a rule.

Morris: Yeah. Every time you're generous, or thoughtful, or help someone who needs help, that's a little bit of Santa too.

Gates: If we have a problem man, just spit it out, 'cause I don't speak bitchy.

Ray: Oh, you seem pretty fluent to me.

...

Neela: [to Ray and Tony] Why don't you either slap each other silly, or kiss now and get it over with?

Morris: At the end of the day, it's just us in the mirror. We're the ones who determine our own moral value. And to me, that's what Christmas is all about.

Morris: It is like some dorky angel has taken control of my mouth.

Breach of Trust [13.12]

Neela: That little tosser just called me a whore.

Abby: She seems so sweet.

Neela: I've never been called a whore!

Abby: Did she say "dirty whore" or "filthy whore"?

Neela: Is there a difference?

Abby: Depends on the whore.

Sarah: You must be that guy who's always riding Uncle Tony. You know, like a bull in heat?

Gates: Shh!

Pratt: So, uh, what else does Uncle Tony say about me?

Sarah: The rest I'm not allowed to say.

Gracie: You remember when we lived in that trailer?

Alex Taggart: You guys lived in a trailer?

Sam: It was a mobile home.

Gracie: That's uppity for "trailer."

Kerry: You're firing me? And this is how you tell me?

Luka: There's no good way.

Kerry: [to the staff, after saying she resigned and took the job in Miami] So, if you're ever in Miami, turn on Channel 6 and that's where you'll find me. And if I'm not there, I'll be on the beach with my son.

A House Divided [13.13]

Abby: I just want to say that, you've probably seen me at my best... and, at my worst. And even though we didn't always see eye-to-eye, um... you helped me go from a nurse, to a medical student, to a doctor... to a mom. [both she and Kerry are suppressing tears]

Kerry: I'm the one who's supposed to be upset here.

Abby: I know, sorry. [pause]

Kerry: You were always there, as a nurse, and as a doctor... and most importantly, you've always been here, as my friend. [pause, she tearfully hugs Abby, who returns the embrace]

Abby: Do you think this happens to the guys when one of them leaves?

Kerry: [laughs] I heard Carter bawled like a baby when he left.

Abby: I'll miss you.

Kerry: Thank you.

Neela: You called for a consult?

Gates: Actually, I dialed the Hot Surgeons chat line.

Kerry: Luka... take care of this place for me.

Luka: I will.

Gracie: When I was your age, I had two jobs.

Alex Taggart: Yeah, doing what, milking a T-Rex?

[Abby comes home with a crying Joe and makes a quick phone call to Luka. She picks Joe up, quiets him and turns around to see Curtis Ames sitting on the sofa, holding a gun; she gasps in terror]

Curtis Ames: Call your husband.

Abby: I- I just did. He didn't answer.

Curtis Ames: Call him again.

Murmurs of the Heart [13.14]

Curtis Ames: You're the successful doctor... right? You're smart, you're beautiful. You got the man, you got the baby, you got everything. So don't take it personal, when I say to you: you have no idea where I am right now.

Abby: You're wrong.

Curtis Ames: You think so?

Abby: Yeah. I think I know exactly where you are right now. You know nine years ago I had... My marriage was over, my mother was in a mental institution for the seventh time, I don't know and I drank... a lot. A lot! And I had reached this... I... You know what, I... One morning, I woke up in this apartment and I had no idea how I got there, next to some guy I didn't even remember meeting. And he was going through my stuff looking for money so he and his buddy could get a fix. So I ran outta there and I went downstairs, and I tried to get a cab, but I had no idea where I was and it was five o'clock in the morning and there were no cars in the street, so I just... I just sat down on the stoop and I just... I waited for something to happen. And at that moment I'm telling you, I knew, I mean, I was positive that happiness was something I was never gonna find.

Curtis Ames: Getting deep on me now.

Abby: [In tears] No! I am just trying to tell you that things can change, they can get better, even if you don't see it, they can!

[A tear is shown shining in Curtis' eye]

Meg: [to Tony before she dies] Sarah, she's yours. Tony.... She's yours.

Luka: I've had a gun pointed at me before. I know you're not the type of man to use that.

Curtis Ames: [pistol-whips Luka in the face] You see? I used it.

Curtis Ames: [crushing Luka's hand in a vice] Tell me how it feels. Tell me - tell me what it's doing to you.

Luka: [groaning in pain] I can, uh... I can feel, uh... crashing of the metacarpal heads. Ah... the digital nerves being compressed. I'm losing... sensation, motor control.

Curtis Ames: You know what I mean, you know what I mean?

Luka: I don't.

Curtis Ames: [raises his foot to kick the vice again] You know what I...

Luka: I don't, I don't! Wait, wait, wait! Stop, please!

Curtis Ames: Then tell me... how it feels!

Luka: [gasping for breath] Just stop it...

Curtis Ames: [shouting] Come on, Luka! Come on! You see people in pain, EVERY DAY! Tell me how it feels!

Luka: [gritted teeth] You son of a bitch...

Curtis Ames: See, do you feel me? Now?

Luka: What do you want from me, huh? WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME? [tries to stand but collapses in pain, gasping] I can't... do it without my hands. I'm a doctor. I have a wife, a child!

Curtis Ames: [It's hard, right?

Luka: Is that what you want, huh? Is that what you want? I won't be able to take care of my family! I won't be able to do anything, I'm nothing, okay? I'm NOTHING! You wanna kill me, huh? Is that what you want, you wanna kill me? Kill me now!

Curtis Ames: Now you get it, now you say something! Now you finally understand a little!

Dying Is Easy [13.15]

Simon: Doc, doc, you gotta get me out of here, man. I got a hot date tonight.

Morris: Does, uh, she take air or helium? [chuckles]

Simon: She takes Visa. That was funny.

Sam: Okay, little prick.

Simon: It's just because it's cold in here.

Morris: Epi has a one minute half-life.

Simon: I have a body part with that same problem.

Abby: Your blood tests show that you have leukemia.

Simon: Thank God! I thought you were gonna tell me I had cancer!

Abby: Leukemia is a cancer of the white blood cells in the bone marrow.

Simon: That's great! That's great. So give me some Viagra, send me home, and we're all good!

Abby: This isn't funny.

Simon: [suddenly serious] I know.

Abby: I need to talk.

Luka: Is everything okay?

Abby: Um, you know, when you were on the roof, I was thinking how, what I would do if Joe didn't have a father and, um, if we didn't have each other. And I realized that if we could get through this we could probably get through anything.

Luka: What's going on?

Abby: I mean, have you ever wanted something so much but... it scared the hell out of you? See, here's the thing. Well, I changed my mind, and I was wondering if you could ask me again.

Luka: What?

Abby: Ask me again. Ask me to marry you.

[They smile happily at each other, Luka gets Abby up and then gets on one knee]

Crisis of Conscience [13.16]

Dubenko Save the cheerleader, save the world. [TV-Show "Heroes" repeated quote]

Dubenko: Neela, let's go scrub.

Neela: No. I won't be a part of this.

Dubenko: Fine. Shirley, have Crenshaw get me a surgeon who actually wants to operate. You get out of here, Neela. Now.

Abby: Did I mention I hate cheerleaders?

Neela: I hate clowns.

Dawn: I heard Gates was afraid of folk singers.

Gates: Hey Mayday, how's it going?

Neela: Well, my attending thinks I'm a complete idiot, and Crenshaw's back to being a little bitch.

Luka: Gates, I'm worried about you.

Gates: Don't worry about me. I'm all right.

Luka: No, I'm worried about your ability to do this job and it's too bad because you're good, but you... you lie and you think nothing of it.

From Here to Paternity [13.17]

Abby: [to a patient who happens to work in a bakery] What's the deal with wedding cakes? How come they are so expensive? I saw one that cost $2,000.

Hope: Can you really put a price on the most special day of your life?

Abby: Mmm, what if it sucks?

Pratt: You want me to talk to this dude because I'm black.

Morris: Well, yeah. I mean, you are black, aren't you?

Pratt: That's wrong, Morris.

Morris: What? We do this all the time! If I had a pregnant girl, I might get Abby. Big Croatian, Kovac.

Pratt: I didn't come to you with my autistic Irish kid.

Morris: You could've! You should've!

Hope: [slamming her locker door] I knew it!

Abby: [startled] What?

Hope: You're getting married.

Abby: Am not!

Hope: Well, why are you looking in the wedding mags?

Abby: Because they're... they're... they're... there!

Hope: And why were you asking all the wedding cake questions earlier?

Abby: I was... I was curious.

Hope: Okay, fine. Look me in the eyes and tell me you're not getting married.

Abby: No!

Hope: Why not?

Abby: Because that's stupid. [contemplates that thought, then looks into Hope's eyes] I am not getting married. [she looks away]

Hope: You looked away. I knew it! I knew it! I knew it!

Abby: Hope! If you tell anyone, I'll kill you. [Hope giggles] You hear me? Kill you. As in dead. Got it?

Morris: Please tell Mr. Morales that there are things that he can buy that won't get, uh, stuck up there. You know, like a wide base, or a string attached.

Dawn: My Spanish definitely ain't that good.

Morris: Uh, Señor. [gesturing to his behind] Este una salida! No entrada!

Photographs & Memories [13.18]

Luka: Morris knows we're getting married.

Abby: I'll bet Hope told him.

Luka: Hope knows?

Abby: She has this weird ESP wedding thing.

Abby: [about Morris and Hope] We need to shut them down, before they tell everybody.

Luka: How do we do that?

Abby: Beat them with a bag of oranges? 'Cause I hear it doesn't leave any marks.

Luka: Or we could try talking to them.

Abby: Fine.

Tony: [answering the phone] No, there's no Seymour Butts here. Hello, Sarah. Where are you?

Ray: Jeez, could you find a bigger card?

Chuny: Despite what you've been told, Ray, size does matter.

Family Business [13.19]

Luka: [about Joe] I guess uh... his urine tested negative? Pratt doesn't think he needs a CBC?

Abby: [smiling] No. I know, you think I'm acting crazy.

Luka: No, I think you are acting like a mother... a slightly crazy one.

[Sarah shows up at the hospital for a vaccine]

Neela: Why didn't you go to your pediatrician?

Sarah: He only takes care of little kids. Besides, I think I need a new doctor anyway. Do you know a good GYN?

Lights Out [13.20]

Anspaugh: What about emergency power for all the rooms?

Luka: We're getting to that.

Anspaugh: And the bathrooms still aren't ADA-compliant-

Luka: First I need to upgrade the nurse-call systems and get automatic fire-drills.

Anspaugh: Well, you'll have plenty of time to do that when we close.

Luka: Just- just give me another week, okay?

Anspaugh: I gave you a month!

Luka: We're too busy!

Anspaugh: We're busy every day.

[Malik tells Luka about a new patient; Luka tells him to start the patient on a drug]

Luka: Look, I haven't prepared the staff.

Anspaugh: Well, you have the rest of your shift to do so.

Luka: [pause] What about the patients?

Anspaugh: We've increased capacity at the urgent care clinic.

Luka: You promised shuttles to other facilities-

Anspaugh: We don't have enough money for that!

Luka: You have no idea what it's like to be down here.

Anspaugh: [sharply] I covered trauma in this E.R. for twenty years! We're trying to improve the way it works!

Luka: How long are you gonna shut us down for?

'Anspaugh: As long as it takes.

Luka: So we can comply with trivial rules?

Anspaugh: Without accreditation, we can't run this hospital!

Luka: Come on, Donald-

Anspaugh: In twelve hours, we close the E.R. End of story.

Luka: OK, listen up- I've got reassignments for all of you during the E.R. closure.

Pratt: How come you're just telling us this today?

Luka: I thought I could prevent this, but Anspaugh's not budging.

Malik: How long we shuttin' down for?

Luka: I'm not sure.

Chuny: Great- I'm sure I'll end up giving enemas in Geriatrics.

Luka: No, you're going to I.C.U. [Chuny looks relieved] Malik, Geriatrics. [Malik looks incredulous] Pratt, Family Medicine. Abby, you're going to the NICU-

Abby: Uh, I'm not going to the NICU. [Luka looks up quickly, then remembers]

Luka: Right. I'll, uh, fix that.

[Sam finds a patient with end-stage ovarian cancer on a computer in the break-room]

Sam: Hey! Been looking all over for you.

Diane: I gotta... get an airline ticket, before the price goes up. [Sam gently pulls her away from the computer]

Sam: C'mere. Come on, sit down- please? [Diane reluctantly follows her to the couch]

Diane: Malaria... won't feel... as bad as this.

Sam: Look, the fluid in your belly is compressing your lungs. If you let us take some of it off, it'll make it easier to breathe.

Diane: I just wanna get o-on the plane.

Sam: I understand that, okay? But you are breathless and you are pale [moves Diane's hair out of her eyes] and flight crews are trained to spot people just like you.

Diane: [pause] I'll wear blush.

Sam: Parasentisis will only take a few minutes.

Diane: Sam, I have friends... in Costa Rica... and they're waiting for me. [tearfully] It's all planned out.

Sam: [nods, but gives her a direct look] This is your only chance to get there.

Gates: You can't send me home!

Morris: You shoulda thought about that before, cowboy.

Gates: I helped the guy without sedation-

Morris: You went against my orders!

Gates: Oh come on, Morris-

Morris: And you're supposed to be a soldier-

Gates: [angry]) I am a soldier! A real one!

Morris: Coulda fooled me.

Gates: You're acting like I killed the guy-

Morris: I am sick and tired of you not taking orders! In the time that you got here, you have placed a subclavian line without supervision, you tapped a V.P. shunt without even calling neurosurgery, you overrode an Attending to give Digibind to a guy who was already brain-dead!

Gates: [sarcastically] What, you keepin' score?

Morris: [counting on his fingers] Transposed numbers, falsified charts, you're slow as hell with documentation-

Gates: You know what, you sound like my old girlfriend-

Morris: And still you act like you're God's gift to medicine! Like, like you're too good to seek advice or need help. [Gates smirks] You're arrogant and dangerous, and I've had enough. We all have. Go home.

Gates: Where's Kovac?

Morris: This is my call, not his.

Gates: Okay. [walks off]

Pratt: What was that all about?

Morris: I sent him home

Pratt: [shrugs] I tried that, once.

Anspaugh: You did it, Dr. Kovac.

Luka: I don't like this.

Anspaugh: Hey, it's not all Mercedes and racquetball.

Luka: I know that, but I'm beginning to feel that the politics aren't worth the paycheck. First you make me fire Weaver, then I spend half my time in BS meetings, I'm flooded with paperwork- and now, this.

Anspaugh: Welcome to management, Luka.

Luka: This isn't me. I'm resigning as chief.

Anspaugh: Luka, part of being the boss is being the bad guy.

Luka: I'll leave that to someone else. I just want to be a doctor. Good night. [walks away as the lights of the ER go out]

I Don't [13.21]

Luka: Be my wife. I offer myself with all my faults and strengths. We'll help each other when we need help and work together to raise our son. I choose you as the person I will love and honor for the rest of my days.

Abby: First of all, I love you. I do. And you've helped me through a lot. We got here together with a beautiful little boy. I was thinking of a poem before when I was getting ready. I think it starts; I carry your heart in my heart. I'm never without it. Anywhere I go, you go. I'm probably messing the whole thing up, but I think the end goes, and this is the wonder that keeps the stars apart. I carry your heart. I carry it in my heart. So I guess what I'm saying is, let's just try to love each other and persevere.

Rabbi: By the power vested in me by the State of Illinois, Cook County, I hereby pronounce you man and wife. Step on the glass and kiss that girl. [Luka grins, stomps on the glass and kisses Abby] Mazel tov!

[Greg is giving a toast]

Pratt: You guys know me, I've never been married before.

Morris: But he's dated women who were!

[crowd laughs]

Sam: Leave your mom out of it, Morris!

Crowd: Ohhhh!

Gates: What's your damage, Ray?

Ray: [drunk] My damage is that you walked into our E.R. like you owned the place. I don't appreciate that, and nobody else does.

Gates: [smirks] Ray, I realize that you don't like me, but sooner or later you're gonna have to get used to living with me- 'cause I ain't going nowhere.

Ray: You wanna leave a mess wherever you go? That's up to you. But there are two things I will not let you screw around with. That is patient's lives, and-

Gates: And what, Ray?

Ray: [pause, referring to Neela] And her.

Gates: Hey, I care about her, you selfish little piss-head! [Pratt and Morris move forward and try to break them up]

Ray: I bet you almost had yourself convinced about that. But, see, the problem is- is that- you're the only one that buys it!

Pratt: Come on, Ray, let's go sober up-

Gates: Wait, wait, wait. Let me just say, Ray- that thing you guys had in the past? It's over. Finished, done! [Neela appears]

Neela: Tony- [they both look at her, then back at each other]

Ray: You don't know how to take care of her. [swallows the rest of his drink]

Neela: Ray, please-

Gates: [picks up his drinks] Well, Ray- at least I'm trying. [starts to walk away, Morris looks relieved]

Ray: That's right, that's right- like you took care of Meg, huh?

[long pause, then Gates throws away his drinks and lunges at Ray, starting a fistfight; Pratt and Morris try to pull them apart as Neela watches]

Morris: You know what I love about you, Gates? Just when I start worrying that maybe I'm being too hard on you, you do something to prove what an ass you are!

Gates: So, that's it- we're done?

Neela: Yeah.

Gates: Because Ray couldn't get over you?

Neela: No- because- you can stand there, as if you're listening to what I'm saying, and still believe that none of this is your fault.

Sea Change [13.22]

Abby: [to Luka] Being married isn't going to change the fact that I don't cook, or sew, or keep track of your socks.

Luka: You couldn't find anyone to cover your shift today?

Abby: No. That's the problem with surprise weddings, it's hard to plan.

Morris: Your wedding was awesome. I just hope that thing I did didn't make you lose your security deposit.

Luka: What thing?

Morris: What?

Morris: [to Luka] It's like, your wedding happened, and now everything's changed. You know, you're married, I'm with Hope, you're not the chief anymore, there's new ramps in the bathroom. It's a brave new world. Gates is still a pain in the ass, though. At least there's something you can count on.

Hope: When I was 8, I found this book in my parents' bedroom: Sex and the Christian Marriage. And the very first page, it said, "Orgasms bring a couple closer to God." So that night at the dinner table, I asked my parents what an orgasm was.

Morris: What did they say?

Hope: An orgasm is a very special kind of prayer. Which is fine, and actually kind of sweet. But like, later that week, I had my first sleepover at a friend's house, so her mom asked me what my bedtime routine is, and I said "Bath, tooth brushing, orgasm, sleep."

Morris: You did not!

Hope: I did! I was never invited back.

The Honeymoon is Over [13.23]

Morris: [Morris walks in on Pratt and Abby watching an online adult video] What are you guys watching?

Abby: It's a website, hosted by a couple of our patients.

Pratt: Does that look consensual to you?

Morris: Oh yeah! That's sensual.

Abby: [smacks Morris over the head] Consensual.

Frank: Gates, your patient stopped breathing.

Gates: Nah, he's just holding his breath. He does it for attention.

Frank: Well, he's been holding his breath for ten minutes.

Neela: [after Ray ends up in a hospital after being hit by a truck causing him to lose his legs] Is there anything I can do?

Ray: No.

Neela: Would you like me to tell anyone at County?

Ray: No. I really don't want you to do anything.

Neela: You know, I was so worried about you, I even went to our... your apartment.

Ray: Well, it's up for lease if you want to move back in. No ramps.

Neela: You know the night this... after you left the wedding, I tried calling you 'cause I wanted to talk, I was hoping...

Ray: I know, I know, I was checking the message when I got hit. So I know.

Ray: I've waited for you. I trusted you. I fought for you and I even fell in love with you. But for what? So you could just keep running back to Gates.

Neela: No, I'm not. That's what I've been trying to tell you. It's over. Tony and I are done.

Ray: Well, it doesn't really matter now, does it?

Dr. Kevin Moretti: What I want is for us to live in mortal fear of doing something wrong, of missing something and having somebody else pay the price for that. And I want us to use that fear to make us better. I am not here because I need the work. I'm here because I wanna save the world. The way we're gonna do it is to reinvent the way we practice medicine every day. Right now, right here, on the front.

External links

Wikipedia

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ER season 13