Drake & Josh
Drake & Josh was an American television sitcom created by Dan Schneider for Nickelodeon. The series follows the lives of two teenage boys with opposite personalities, Drake Parker (Drake Bell) and Josh Nichols (Josh Peck), who are stepbrothers.
Drake & Josh Go HollywoodEdit
- Josh: Can I ask your opinion on something serious?
- Megan: Is this about your rash?
- Josh: No!
- Audrey: [on why she won't go on a cruise] Boats sink.
- Walter: It's not a boat, it's a ship. And ships don't sink.
- Audrey: Tiiiiiiiiiiitanic.
- Walter: That was just a movie.
- Audrey: Based on a true story!
- Walter: ...For real?
- Josh: Where have you been?
- Drake: I told you, I went to go get a corn dog.
- Josh: It took you over an hour just to get one corn dog?!
- Drake: I also had a drink.
- Megan: Do you ever clean this car? It's full of trash.
- Drake: Hey, everything in this car is very important to me!
- Megan: [holding up a dead bird] Like this dead bird?
- Drake: Aw, Tweeter died!
[after airport security had detained Drake and Josh]
- Head of Security: I hope you boys learned a very important lesson on how seriously we take airport security.
- Drake: Oh, we learned... Especially during that strip search.
- Josh: ...Which was shockingly thorough.
- Head of Security: We do our best. Have a nice day. [to Josh] And good luck with that rash.
- Josh: [angrily] Yeah, thanks.
- Megan: Excuse me? I think the pilot made a mistake. This plane is going to Denver, right?
- Attendant: No, we're in route to Los Angeles.
- Megan: Los Angeles?
- Attendant: Yes.
- Megan: ...Not Denver?
- Attendant: No.
- Megan: ...Those dumb boobs.
[The flight attendant looks down her shirt in confusion]
- Drake: Okay, let's go and get Megan!
- Josh: Okay, but first...
- Drake: What?
- Josh: I gotta pee really bad.
- Drake: Well, can't you hold it?
- Josh: Yeah, I... [strained] No!
- Josh: I can't believe that we're in Los Angeles driving a stolen car!
- Drake: It's not stolen.
- Josh: STOLEN!!!!
- Drake: We borrowed it. Which is a perfectly reitable choice when you're trying to avoid being attacked by two maniacs.
Merry Christmas, Drake & JoshEdit
- Judge: Buy face hurts you butt duty head! I have a but (butt)!
- Drake: [chuckles] He said he had a butt.
- Josh: Shut up.
- Steve: The cow goes moo! I was trapped in a refrigerator! I take special vitamins!
- Little Boy: When is Santa going to be here?
- Steve: Well, I don't know, but I'll bet you old Saint Nick's going to be here real soon.
- Woman: Excuse me, I distinctly ordered a diet root beer, and this tastes like sh-
- Steve: I AM TALKING TO CHILDREN!!!!
- Steve: HEY! WHAT'S UP, D AND J? GETTING READY FOR THE PARADE?
- Drake: Yeah, positively.
- Steve: OKAY, WELL I'M JUST REMINDING YOU GUYS THAT YOU NEED TO GIVE THESE KIDS THE BEST CHRISTMAS EVER IF YOU WANNA STAY OUT OF JAIL!
(last scene of the series)
- Drake: So?
- Josh: So?
- Drake: Yes or no? Is this the best Christmas you ever had?
- Josh: It will be, after THIS! (throws snow at Drake)
- Drake: I'm gonna get you, Nichols!
- Josh: Bring it, Parker! (the two chase each other around)
- Drake: santas not looking for a relationship right now
- Fat girl: I want what that other girl was getting