Animaniacs (season 4)

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Animaniacs (1993–1998) is an American animated comedy musical television series created by Tom Ruegger. The series premiered on Fox Kids on September 13, 1993. It was moved to Kids' WB on September 9, 1995 and ended on November 14, 1998.

Episodes

One Flew Over the Alarm Clock [5.00]

Skippy: [tearfully] I will love you forever, Aunt Slappy.

Cutie and the Beast/Boo Happens/Noel [4.02]

[Cartoon opens on a waterfall. Camera pans left to The Prince's castle]

Chorus: [offscreen] Certain is what we are, of what you'll like the least, snails on your lawn, songs that go on and on, Cutie and the Beast! Snails on your lawn, songs that go on and on, Cutie and the Beast!

[Camera trucks up to The Prince's room]

Narrator: Once upon a time, an enchantress turned a selfish prince into a hideous beast. [the Prince turns into Taz. The mirror shatters. Taz runs to his room. He tears a portrait of himself as the Prince, playing tic-tac-toe on it. He gets all three "O"s in a row, crossing them off] To break the spell, he had to fall in love with someone who loved him, before his magic flower lost all of its petals. If he could not, he'd remain a beast...forever.

[Taz gasps]

Narrator: And now, the stars of our show, the Warners!

Yakko: I'm Yakko!

Wakko: I'm Wakko!

Dot: And I'm Princess Angelina Contessa Louisa Francesca Banana Balana - Oh, shoot!

[Yakko and Wakko laugh]

Director: [offscreen] Cut!

Dot: [holding up two fingers] Take two.

[Film whirs. Beep!]

Narrator: And now, the stars of our show, the Warners!

Yakko: I'm Yakko.

Wakko: I'm Wakko.

Dot: And I'm Princess Angelina Contessa Louisa Franchesca Banana Falana...Arrrgh!

Director: [offscreen] Cut!

Yakko: Ladies and gentlemen, Miss Banana Falana.

Wakko: [laughing] Banana Falana!

Dot: Oh, thanks for your support, Mr. P Pop Into the Mic!

Wakko: Oh, pooh! I never pop my P's!

Director: Uh, Wakko? We got a big P pop on "pooh". Could we have that again?

Dot: Ha! [walks sideways]

[Film whirs. Beep!]

Narrator: And now, the stars of our show, the Warners!

Yakko: I'm Yakko!

Wakko: I'm Wakko!

Dot: And I'm "Pincess"...DAAAAAAAAGH!

Yakko and Wakko: Helloooo, Pincess! [laughing]

Wakko: [laughing] Pincess!

Yakko: [laughing] Pincess, I love it!

Dot: Yeah, you try saying it sometime!

Yakko: "Princess Angelina Contessa Louisa Francesca Banana Fana Bobesca the Third". [wags eyebrows]

Dot: Oh, thank you, Mr. United-States-Canada-Mexico-Panama. Big whoop. [to the camera] LET'S DO IT! [walks back]

[Film whirs. Beep!]

Narrator: [tired] And now...the stars of our show...the Warners.

Yakko: [tired] I'm still Yakko.

Wakko: [tired] I'm still Wakko.

Dot: And I'm Princess Angelina Contessa Louisa Francesca Banana Fana Fo Foo- STOP! WHY CAN'T I GET IT [BLEEP!] BY GDDITRBBIT [BLEEP!] WHY GOT TO STOP IT [BLEEP!] AUGH!

Yakko: That's my cute little sister who said that! Goodnight, everybody! [Dot sits on a step] Let's wrap it up, okay?

Dot: Oh, get off my back! What do you want me to do?

Yakko: Try memorizing your lines.

Dot: I was busy!

Wakko: Another date with Brad Pitt?

Dot: Oh, and you should talk?

Wakko: Hey, I can't help it if girls find me irresistable!

Dot: Yeah, until they learn you don't bathe!

[All Warner Siblings argue at once]

Director: People, come on! Let's do this! Last take.

[Film whirs. Beep!]

Narrator: [very tired] And now...the stars of our show...the Warners.

Yakko: [very tired] I'm Yakko.

Wakko: [very tired] I'm Wakko.

Dot: [slowly] And I am Princess Angelina Contessa Louisa Francesca Banana Fana Bo Besca the Third!

[Yakko and Wakko cheered as the balloons and confettis fall]

Yakko: Your brother and I just couldn't be prouder!

Dot: [angry] Oh, dry up!

Director: [offscreen] Let's move it along! Next line!

Dot: [reads the script] ...but you can call me "Dot"!

Yakko: No time for that, we're way behind. [checks the script] Uhhhh...skip ahead.

Dot: Great! This village is so quaint, it makes me wanna break into a song!

Yakko: Funny, I've got a feeling it breaks into a rash.

[The Warners are in the woods]

Yakko: Come on! Let's go into that dark, spooky forest!

Wakko: [scared] Do we have to?

Yakko: Well, if we don't, we'll have to face ourselves a fate worse than death.

Wakko: You mean-?

Yakko: That's right. Another song by Dot!

[Wakko screams in terror]

Dot: [annoyed] Hey, what is this, "Make Fun of Your Sister Day" on Animaniacs?!

[She and Yakko argue throughout the woods. Later in another side of the woods]

Wakko: [looking at what is presumed to be a map] According to this, we've lost our way.

Yakko: [takes the map] This isn't a map, it's a flyer for the Republican Party!

Wakko: I know. That's why we lost our way. As a country, I mean. [eats the map]

Dot: [more annoyed] Yeah, yeah. We get it. So can we please get on with it?! [another background setting of the castle drops] Thank you. [they walk up to the front doors of the castle] Maybe whoever lives here must tell us where we are.

[They're paralyzed as they see the shadow of Taz]

[After The Warner Siblings come in after the "Hi there!" bomb has blown up in Taz's face]

Yakko: Ahh, you're Taz, aren't you?

["Taz-mania theme" plays in the background]

Taz: Uhh- me no Taz.

Wakko: Could you do that thing, that funny thing that you do?

Taz: BLOOUUAAAAGH!

Wakko: No, that's not it!

Taz: Uh...WAAGGHDEEDEEDEEDEEIGH!

Yakko: No, no, that's not it either. You know, the funny thing!

Dot: Can we finish this cartoon?

Yakko: All right!

[After the "Be A Pest" song]

Taz: Oh, it's hopeless. You win. Come get kiss.

[Dot and Taz kiss. Taz slobbers her. magic appears offscreen. He spits her out]

Dot: Eugh! Do not go in there!

Yakko: Are you all right?

Dot: I am, but I'm not so sure about him.

Prince: [now a prince again] Wow, am I ever cute!

Girls: [appear] My! He's dreamy! Oh, my! He's so very handsome! My!

Dot: No way! I'm the only who's supposed to be cute on this show! [walks up to the Prince and kiss him]

[The Prince turns back into Taz]

Girls: Eeeeeeeeeagh!!!! [run away]

Taz: OOOOOUUUAAAAGHDOOOUUAGHHHBLAGHBLIHGHTSFZABDHBTSPBPBPBPTHTHTH!

Yakko: That's it! That's the funny thing!

[The Warners laugh. Taz face palms himself. Fade to outside The Prince's castle]

Chorus: [offscreen] Certain is what we are, of what you'll like the least, snails on your lawn, songs that go on and on, Cutie and the Beast! Snails on your lawn, songs that go on and on, Cutie and the Beast!

Yakko: To spell Santa's name is easy to do.

You write S-A-N-T and another "A", too.

But no "L", no "L", Santa's name has no "L".

And he won't be too pleased if you don't learn to spell.

Wakko: Jack and Jill went up a hill to fetch water from the well,

But when neither one could find it, Jill started to yell.

Dot: No well, no well, can't believe there's no well!

We walked all the way here and I'm mad can't you tell!

Yakko: Captain Ahab took his crew his harpoon and set sail

And he called out to ships...

Captain Ahab: Have you seen the white whale?!

Sailors: No whale, no whale, no, we ain't seen no whale!

Sailor 1: Saw a couple of dolphins...

Sailor 2: And a big yellowtail!

Warners: If you've listened to this tune, then you probably can tell

That you've heard it before. It's a song you know well.

Know well, know well, it's a song you know well,

And we've ruined it completely, so we all say, "Oh, well."

Oh, well, oh, well, we'll just say fare thee well!

Merry Christmas to you and a joyous Noel!

Yakko: Well, that's our show.

Dot: We hope you enjoyed it as much as we did.

Wakko: We're touched so you'll be touched.

Yakko: Goodnight, everybody.

Director: ...And - playbacks!

["Animaniacs" theme plays in the background as the end credits begin]

Dot: Phew! Am I glad that's over!

Yakko: Awh. I have a headache this big, and it's got Warner Bros. written all over it.

Dot: "Produced by..." Gimme a break. Bunch of over-paid, credit-grabbing, do-nothings.

Yakko: "Written by"? Oh, now, there's a joke. You call the dreck they stick us with writing? Huh. Puhlease.

Dot: "The Great Stoneeni". Bah. Just once I'd like the guy to write a song in my key. Just once.

Yakko: Like that would do any good!

Dot:Oh, yeah, it's all about you. That's right.

Wakko: A voice director? Who's that?

Yakko: Oh, you know, she the person who tells you to redo every line like fifty times.

Dot: Yeah. And faster.

Wakko: [furious] Her? I hate her!

Yakko: "Rob Paulsen as Yakko". Hmmf! Yeah, right.

Dot: "Tress MacNeille as Dot". As if.

Wakko: "Jess Harnell as Wakko". I hear he's cute!

Yakko: [sarcastic] Ooh, goodie. Here come the storyboard artists.

Wakko: What do they do?

Yakko: Besides drawing us off-model and taking three hour coffee breaks, not much.

Wakko: Look at all those names. Who are all these people?

Dot: Oh my- unh. You know, they're artists, Wakko.

Wakko: I'll bet.

Dot: You might want to stop by the studio some time, you could meet a few of them.

Wakko: I'm busy! "Executive in charge of Production"? What does that mean?

Yakko: [slowly] Nobody really knows.

Wakko: "Executive Producer - Steven Spielbrig"?

Yakko: Nonononono - Steven...Springblush.

Dot: No, no - Springbile. No, Spriezlof... naw, Mr. Kate Capshaw.

Yakko: Hey, you wanna go get a cappuccino?

Dot: Sure. Wakko, you coming?

Wakko: Nah, I got a date.

Yakko: When do you not have a date?

Wakko: [angrily] I got a date! So, sue me!

Dot: She will! Hey - d-did you turn off the mikes?

Yakko: N- [whispering] No, I thought you did!

Dot: It wasn't me.

Warners: [realizing] Uh-oh!

Jokahontas/Boids on the Hood/Mighty Wakko at the Bat [4.03]

Skippy: You're not gonna sing, are you?

Slappy: For the sake of the show, no!

Skippy: Phew. What a relief.

Slappy: Hey, hey! Like you're Pavarotti? I'm outta here there.

Dot: But Grandmama Maple, what about my problem?

Slappy: You figure it out. Nothin' in this picture makes any sense anywhay. [leaves with Skippy]

John Smith: [arrives] Um, excuse me. [Dot turns around, does a wild take and bounce around the tree before landing flat on the stump] I'm sorry. Did I frighten you?

Dot: No, just overreacting.

John Smith: [holds out his hand] I'm John Smith.

Dot: Oh, I bet you tell that to all the hotel clerks. [pointing at John Smith's hand] What's that all about?

John Smith: A handshake is how we say, "Hello".

Dot: [smiling suggestively at him] Would you like to see how we do it?

Yakko: Goodnight, everybody!

John Smith: Why, yes.

Dot: Hellooooooooo, Mel! [kisses him]

John Smith: [wiping his mouth] Yuck! [sees Dot literally painting the forest and flowers] What are you doing?

Dot: Painting the colors of the passing wind.

Wakko: [pops out of the bushes] Did you say "passing wind"?

Dot: [shakes Wakko] PLEASE! I BEG YOU! LET US NOT GO THERE!

Wakko: Okay.

A Very Very Very Very Special Show/Night of the Living Buttons/Soda Jerk [4.04]

[Beginning the episode, the Warners ran away from Ralph and they hid behind a wall to catch thier breath as Ralph passes by. That's when they see something]

Wakko: Hey, guys! Look!

Warners: Time-out! [ran into an ice cream shop and they sat down on the bar seats]

Wakko: Oh Mr. Ice Cream Man!

Yakko: We're here!

Toby the Ice Cream Man: Hey hey, hi, kids! What will you guys have todays?

Yakko: The usual. Give us the mango, papaya, quince...

Wakko: Coconut, persimmon, guava!

Dot: and avocado.

Warners: Big super duper triple malt shake!

Yakko: Make mine stirred, not shaken.

Dot: Make mine not fat. Girl's got to watch her figure.

Wakko: Make mine extra fat.

Toby the Ice Cream Man: Coming right up! [starts scooping some ice cream and puts them in a milkshake cup and a machine stirs the ice cream; whistles the Pinky and the Brain Theme song while waiting; then pours the malt into three large cups and puts a straw in each of them with a straw; gives one to Yakko who drinks it, Then hands the others to Wakko and Dot]

Dot: [as Wakko starts drinking his milkshake] Are you going to drink that in one gulp?

Wakko: Mmm...Maybe.

Yakko: Could be more than you can handle.

Wakko: I'll take that as a challenge. [pushes Dot off of her seat] I've been doing this since I was a kid. [drinks his whole milkshake in one gulp and becomes bloated as he sits down in his seat; to Yakko] Told you!

[Yakko shrugs while drinking]

From Burbank with Love/Anchors A-Warners/When You're Traveling from Nantucket [4.05]

Announcer: And now, Yakko Warner sings about time.

Yakko: When you're traveling from Nantucket, through Chicago to St. Paul,

And you're standing at an airport. And you look upon the wall,

There's a clock for every city and a different time for all from Asia through Malaysia to Peru.

Did you ever wonder why that when it's 10:00 in Maine, at precisely the same moment, it is 3 AM in Spain?

When it's breakfast time in Rome, they're having lunch in the Ukraine,

And it's supper up in upper Kathmandu.

If the Earth were spinning faster as the sun is going past her,

Then a day would only be an hour long.

And school, when they begin it, would only last a minute,

Before everybody has to run along.

Wakko and Dot: All right!

Yakko: If the Earth were the planet that was closest to the sun,

A year would be much shorter and you'd have a lot of fun.

'Cause by the time you were in 1st grade, you'd be over 21.

And you'd live to be 900, 3 or 4.

Time is relative, dependent, you can save it,

You can spend it doing things you like to do or learning how.

Wakko: You can't see it, you can't taste it.

Dot: But you certainly can waste it.

Yakko: Which is really what we're doing here right now!

The international date line's an imaginary cleft.

Today is on the right side and tomorrow's on the left.

So when you cross it, do you then arrive the day before you left?

That's how it'd work, it's quite berserk, you see.

So if you were born in China, while I'm born in Carolina,

Well, then, you're a day ahead of me, you see.

So the way I've got it reckoned, if we're born in the same second,

Then why should you be a day older than me?

But it really is no miracle the difference in our birth.

Because the world is spherical, that's why around the Earth.

Warners: There's always different times for Moscow, London, Boston and Ft. Worth.

Yakko: And that's the way it's always gonna be.

So remember, when you're traveling from Nantucket to St. Paul,

nd that airport as you're staring at those clocks upon the wall.

You should think about this song, my friend, and then you will recall.

Wakko: That it was mildly amusing.

Dot: But then totally confusing.

Warners: And we bet you wish we hadn't sung at all!

Papers for Papa/Amazing Gladiators/Pinky and the Ralph [4.06]

Wakko: Hey! Where is this Key West anyway?

Yakko: Just west of key east.

Dot: And south of Tiki D.

Yakko: There they are, sibs! The Florida Keys! Right between the Florida pocket lint and the Florida spare change.

[The plane does a nosedive and then, it stops a few feet in midair]

Dot: Outta gas!

Yakko: Lame joke number two.

[Dot knocks on the door]

Ernest Hemingway: [falsetto voice] Who is it?

Dot: Push pin office supplies for...Mr. Ernest Hemingway.

Ernest Hemingway: [falsetto voice] Mr. Hemingway isn't here right now. This is, um...Alice B. Toklas.

Warners: [sing-song] No you're not!

Ernest Hemingway: [falsetto voice] Yes, I am.

Warners: [appear behind him] No you're not!

Ernest Hemingway: [normal voice] Gah!

Yakko: You can't fool us. Alice B. Toklas doesn't live here anymore.

[The scene cuts to Acme Labs]

Narrator: Coming soon to the Kids WB!

[In the lab, we see that Ralph had joined Pinky in the Acme Labs cage]

10 Short Films About Wakko Warner/No Time for Love/The Boo Network [4.07]

[1. Lunchtime with Spielberg; Wakko is having lunch]

Wakko: Thanks, Steven. It's sure nice to have lunch together.

[Camera moves back to reveal the speaker]

Steven Spielberg: [in the speaker; stammering] Oh, thank you. I'm glad we've had some time together.

Pitter Patter of Little Feet/Mindy in Wonderland/Ralph's Wedding [4.08]

[Buttons accidentally stepped on Cheshire Cat/Rita's tail]

Cheshire Cat/Rita: [angrily grabs Buttons by the fur] You stepped on my tail! You've ruined my day! There's no time to argue, for this you will pay! [attacks Buttons in the fight cloud]

Mindy: [hugging Buttons] Fuzzy bunny good, but fuzzy Buttons better.

[Buttons sighs happily]