The Spy Next Door
2010 film by Brian Levant
The Spy Next Door is a 2010 American spy comedy family film directed by Brian Levant. The film was released on January 15, 2010 in the United States.
Quotes
edit- Bob Ho: Can your mommy do that?
- Poldark: Where is the file?
- Ian: It's on my iPod on my desk at home.
- Bob Ho: Now, see, you want to be a spy - never tall the truth to the bald guy.
- Ian: Sorry. I'm new at this.
- Nora: Mommy, that man can fly!
- Ian: Oh. Hey, guys! Gotta go.
- Russian Thug: What are you supposed to be?
- Nora: A cyborg, sent from the future to blast you away!
- Nora: I want Bob to be my daddy.
- Farren: Gillian, your son is a psycho. He booby-trapped my hairdryer.
- Ian: Nice hypothesis, but ya can't prove it.
- Farren: Yeah, but I can hurt you.
- Bob Ho: So, tell me more about Halloween.
- Nora: It's the best. You get candy, everyone pretends to be someone else, and nobody knows who you really are.
- Bob Ho: Sounds familiar.
- Bob Ho: He is rare. He is amazing. He is the man.
- Farren: How embarrassing.
- Colton James: Oh, heck, man, don't get married. Just find some woman that you're gonna hate in five years and give her your house.
- Colton James: [about Poldark] That man's so crooked, he could eat nails and poop corkscrews.
- Colton James: Now, how the heck are you gonna get in there? Jet pack?
- Bob Ho: It's in the shop.
- Bob Ho: I've brought down dictators. How tough can three kids be?
- Bob Ho: If a man marries you, he marries all four of you.
- Gillian: Don't forget the pig, the cat, and the turtle.
- Poldark: Tatiana, you can't imagine what it's like in there. The oppressive darkness, and the torture of empty days stretching for years. Prison is hell.
- Creel: You were in there for 4 hours.
- Poldark: I look like the French Prince of Belarus.
- Ian: You know about fashion?
- Bob Ho: No, but I know women. Wear it like this. It's cool. I saw it in a movie.
- Ian: What movie? Octopussy? This isn't 1985.
- Glaze: Hey, loosen these things up!
- Colton James: Oh, I'm sorry. What's wrong? Got the handcuffs too tight? I don't know how these things work. I'm just a dumb hillbilly.
- Poldark: How quickly can you give me orange jumpsuit?
- Ian: Hey, how are you doing? I'm Ian. If I told you have a beautiful body, you hold it against me?
- Cute Gymnast: [disgusted] Yeow!
- Bob Ho: At least you're not shy.
- Ian: I wanted to talk to her in the worst way.
- Bob Ho: Mission accomplished.
- Bob Ho: Family isn't whose blood you carry. It's who you love, and who loves you.
- Nora: [heading toward a Chinese restaurant] Doesn't look like they have chicken tenders here!
- Bob Ho: Yo, it's Ho.
[first lines]
- Nora: Mom! Jethro's eating my underwear!
[pronounced "unduweahw"]
- Glaze: What took you so long to get here?
- Bob Ho: Six minutes.
- Glaze: You stop for a latte?
- Bob Ho: Oh, I get it. You're, uh... What's the expression? Chopping my bust.
- Glaze: Close enough.
- Ian: I hate it when old people have feelings.
- Glaze: Tell me he didn't get away.
- Colton James: Oh, he's as gone as rum cake at an AA meeting.
- Colton James: Oh, while I'm thinkin' about it, they suspect there may be a mole at the agency.
- Bob Ho: They suspect me?
- Colton James: Noooo. You know Glaze thinks you're the sharpest barb on the wire.
- Bob Ho: I've no idea what that means.
- Farren: Bob, this is Larry.
- Larry: Pleased to meet you, sir.
- Bob Ho: Let's get some food.
- Farren: He goes to the university.
- Ian: He's a poet. Isn't it cool?
- Bob Ho: It's rad. It's awesome. It's jiggy for shizzy. It's bomb.
- Bob Ho: I have two words for you, Larry. 13.
- Nora: Boys are pigs.
Cast
edit- Jackie Chan as Bob Ho
- Amber Valletta as Gillian
- Madeline Carroll as Farren
- Will Shadley as Ian
- Alina Foley as Nora
- Magnús Scheving as Anton Poldark
- Billy Ray Cyrus as Colton James
- George Lopez as Glaze
- Lucas Till as Larry
- Katherine Boecher as Tatiana Creel
- Jeff Chase as Russian Thug
