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Octopussy

1983 film by John Glen

Octopussy is a 1983 British-American action spy film, the sequel to 1981 film For Your Eyes Only, in which a fake Fabergé egg and a fellow agent's death leads James Bond to uncovering an international jewel smuggling operation, headed by the mysterious Octopussy, being used to disguise a nuclear attack on NATO forces. It was followed by 1985 film sequel A View to a Kill.

Directed by John Glen. Written by George MacDonald Fraser, Michael G. Wilson, and Richard Maibaum, based on a short story by Ian Fleming.
Nobody does it better...thirteen times. (taglines)

James Bond

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  • [After throwing off Gobinda and his henchmen in pursuit using a decoy Bollywood film poster] Hmm. It certainly pays to advertise.

Kamal Khan

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  • Englishman. Likes eggs, preferably Faberge, and dice, preferably loaded.
  • Mr. Bond is indeed of a very rare breed... soon to be made extinct.

Dialogue

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[Bond and Vijay's tuktuk is being chased by Gobinda and his henchmen]
James Bond: Vijay, we've got company!
Vijay: No problem, this is a company car! [Uses tuktuk to do a wheelie]
James Bond: [Walks into Bombay research and testing laboratory] Ah, Q! How are you!
Q: Most unhappy, 007, thanks to you. How can I be expected to maintain the quality of my work? Sent out here at a moments notice?
James Bond: [Refers to a bundled rope stack] You wouldn't have a smaller piece of thread than that wouldn't you, Q? [Hands Q his coat] Somebody seems to have stuck a knife in my wallet.
Q: [Takes jacket] Ah, and they missed you? What a pity! [Hands jacket to Karen] Karen, see to that!
James Bond: I've seem to have mislaid my PPK.
Q: Anything else? [A lab tester holds onto rope that rises up and then inadvertently bends over in the middle] Blast!
James Bond: Having problems keeping it up?
Q: Experimental model!
James Bond: [Greets lab staffer readying an experimental man-killing spiked door with a test mannequin] Hello, Smithers.
Smithers: Commander.
James Bond: [Door slams mannequin into wall] Smashing, Q.
Q: Come on. I have a few things for you.
James Bond: Very nice, Smithers. Is the homing device ready yet?
Q: Not only a homing device, but an extremely delicate microphone as well. [Plants microphone in egg] It goes in there like that. Now, take a fountain pen. Twist the top, and a highly concentrated mixture of nitric and hydrochloric acid. Dissolves all metals.
James Bond: Wonderful for poison-pen letters!
Q: Pay attention, 007! Pull the top off the pen. With this ultrasensitive earpiece, you can listen in on the bug. The homing device is compatible with the standard-issue radio directional finder in your watch. If you haven't lost it.
James Bond: That's amazing, Q. It does work. [Glances over at camcorder filming a feed to a TV set] What's that?
Q: Oh, that's the latest liquid crystal TV.
James Bond: [Turns on wristwatch of mannequin arm that shows TV test card from a poster] Hm, very handy! [Peers into camcorder and zooms in on a female lab staffer's cleavage which shows up on wristwatch and TV set] Mm. Perfect image, Q.
Q: Really, 007! Look, I haven't time for these adolescent antics!
Karen: [Hands jacket to James] It's the best we can do!
James Bond: It's beautiful. Thank you.
Q: Go on, get along! I've got my work to do!
Vijay: I'll give you a hand, Q.
Q: Thank you.
Vijay: [Hands egg to James] Don't forget this.
Q: [Walks away] Don't let him teach you any of his bad habits!
James Bond: [Drinking wine in bed with Magda and has drank his cup empty] I need refilling. [Reaches for bottle and holds it up] Hm?
Magda: Of course you do!
James Bond: [Attempts to get out of bed] Oh. I'll get some more.
Magda: Don't bother. [Pours her wine into James' cup] We'll make yours a loving cup.
James Bond: [Looking at the tattoo on Magda's back] What is that?
Magda: That's my little octopussy.
Magda: [Walks to balcony] Beautiful view, isn't it? [Ties her sari sash to railing] I don't know how to say goodbye.
James Bond: Actions speak louder than words.
Magda: You're so right. [Falls backwards with sari sash unraveling with her floating to ground to be picked up by Kamal]
Kamal Khan: [James arrives at Kamal's palace and is escorted to dining room] Good evening, Mr Bond.
James Bond: Good evening.
Kamal Khan: Well rested? [Gestures to Magda] I believe you and Miss Magda have met.
James Bond: [Glances at her] It was a pleasure.
Magda: You're too kind.
Kamal Khan: You don't mind if we start? [He and James take seats] The soufflé can't wait.
James Bond: At the risk of appearing to be making light dinner conversation, may I ask exactly why I am here? I mean, after all, you do have the egg.
Kamal Khan: True. But we don't have all the answers.
James Bond: Well, supposing, for argument's sake, I don't feel like talking?
Kamal Khan: Don't worry, you will. You will.
James Bond: Let me guess. Thumbscrews and hot coals.
Kamal Khan: Hardly! We're much more sophisticated than that. [Gestures to servants to take away dishes]
James Bond: Er... sodium pentothal?
Kamal Khan: A bit crude. Very unreliable. We prefer curare with an effective psychedelic compound. Guaranteed results.
James Bond: But with permanent brain damage. An unfortunate side effect.
Kamal Khan: [Servants arrive with dishes] Ah! One of our specialities. Stuffed sheep's head.
James Bond: It's odd, but when I'm stared at I seem to lose my appetite.
James Bond: So does he have a proposition for me or do you?
Magda: He suggest a trade. The egg... for your life.
James Bond: Well, I heard the price of eggs was going up, but isn't that a little high?
Vijay: [Arrives to relieve Q as they monitor Octopussy's island palace from the lakeshore] Is he still there?
Q: You must be joking! 007 on an island populated exclusively by women?! We won't see him till dawn!
Orlov: [Enters the trailer, sees Bond in Mischka's clothes from behind] Leave that! Let's go.
James Bond: [Turns around, facing Orlov with pointed gun] No, let's stay. You. Sit on that box. Hands on your knees. Come on, move! Now why is that bomb on the train?
Orlov: Who are you?
James Bond: I'm with British Secret Service.
[The scene cuts to two Russian soldiers having finished examining General Orlov's car with the jewel container inside the trunk and leaving to do their duty; the scene cuts again to Bond still holding General Orlov captive inside the trailer]
Orlov: You should be more concerned about getting out of here alive.
James Bond: I am more concerned about an atomic bomb exploding on a United States Air Force base. You surely can't be inviting a full-scale nuclear war. What happens when the US retaliates?
Orlov: [Grins] Against whom?
James Bond: [Frowning, realizing Orlov's scheme] My God. Of course. Our early-warning system will rule out the possibility of that bomb having come from Russia or anywhere else. Everyone will assume incorrectly that it was an American bomb triggered accidentally.
Orlov: That would be the most plausible explanation.
James Bond: Europe will insist on unilateral disarmament, leaving every border undefended for you to walk across at will. And it doesn't matter a damn to you, I suppose, that thousands of innocent people will be killed in this little "accident" of yours?
Orlov: Better than letting a handful of old men in Moscow bargain away our advantage in disarmament talks!
James Bond: On your feet, General. You're going to stop that train.
Orlov: [They hear hoot as the train starts to move off] It's too late.
James Bond: You can stop it at the border. [the trailer door opens, revealing two Russian soldiers and Bond, having been caught, kills one soldier and escapes to avoid being killed by the other]
Orlov: [Referring to Bond escaping from the Russian soldier, who is chasing him] Kill him!! Kill him!!
[General Gogol walks to a crawling General Orlov, who has just been shot by East German border guards, thinking he was trying to defect by chasing the Octopussy circus train]
Gogol: A common thief! A disgrace to the uniform!
Orlov: [Weakly] Yes. But tomorrow, I shall be a hero of the Soviet... Union... [dies]
[At Feldstadt Air Base, Kamal Khan prepares to leave ahead of the expected nuclear explosion]
Kamal Khan: [To a USAF lieutenant-general] General, excuse me. I have some traveling arrangements to make. Enjoy the show.
U.S. general: Thank you.
U.S. aide: I'm sure the general will get a big blast out of this.
Khan: I know he won't be disappointed.
[James and Q float in a hot air balloon as Octopussy's troops raid Khan's lair]
James Bond: I trust you can handle this contraption, Q?
Q: It goes by hot air.
James Bond: Oh, then you can.
Khan: You seem to have a nasty habit of surviving.
James Bond: Well, you know what they say about the fittest.

Taglines

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  • Nobody does it better...thirteen times.
  • James Bond's all time action high.
  • Nobody does him better.

Cast

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