Brendan Filone: He said shipment moves Thursday, six a.m.
Christopher Moltisanti: Give me one good reason I should not jack this truck!
Brendan Filone: Hey, don't feel bad, its Junior's own fault. He gives us no choice except to do it again.
Christopher Moltisanti: Takin' that outrageous fuckin' tribute?
Brendan Filone: It's like not only does he shit on our heads, we're supposed to say thanks for the hat.
Christopher Moltisanti: It's not like I'm gettin' somewhere's playin' by the rules! Fuck Tony!
Brendan Filone: The books are closed...blow me.
Christopher Moltisanti: No, that's some true shit.
Brendan Filone: Come on, they're not confirmin' any new made guys, how come?
Christopher Moltisanti: Fuckin' chaos! Nobody knows whose runnin' things anymore. Guys, they don't even know who to make payments up the ladder to in some cases. I'm talkin' about the year two thousand. The millenium. Where do we go from here?
Brendan Filone: Yo, money, we said we'd meet out front. You're not even dressed.
Christopher Moltisanti: I'm taking a pass.
Brendan Filone: What? It's Italian suits, Christopher!
Christopher Moltisanti: There was a time in my life when being with the Tony Soprano crew was all I ever dreamed of. So what am I doing?
Brendan Filone: Come on, it's five fifteen.
Christopher Moltisanti: Maybe one reason things are so fucked up in the organization these days is guys running off, not listening to middle management.
Brendan Filone: Fuck Tony. That's a quote.
Christopher Moltisanti: We have to stick together, why be in a crew? Why be a gangster?
Brendan Filone: Hey coach? Suck my dick.
Special K: (A Comley truck approaches) Yo! Hey, yo! We need some help over here!
Brendan Filone: (Brendan Filone, Antjuan, and Special K hijack the truck) Okay, lets be very cool yo! Get down outta the cab!
Special K: You heard the motherfucker! Hurry up!
Hector Anthony: (Stepping out) Yo chill. I'm a friend of Billy's. Your friend on the inside.
Brendan Filone: Ya, cool. No probs here! Increase the peace, that's our motto.
Hector Anthony: I'm gonna take my lunch, okay?
Brendan Filone: Yeah, whatever. Come on! (Hector steps down and Antjuan tries to climb the truck)
Special K: Hold up man! You can't drive a Fisher Price. (Special K climbs the truck)
Brendan Filone: (Antjuan is holding his gun sideways) What is with the gun-point-sideways-shit! (Brendan fixes Antjuan's arm)
Antjuan: (Special K isn't able to drive the truck) Ha ha ha ha!
Brendan Filone: (to Special K) Get out! Come on, get down! (to Hector Anthony) You drive, I'll direct you! (Special K steps out and accidentally drops his gun, releasing a ricochet bullet that hits Hector Anthony)
Brendan Filone: Oh! Jesus!
Antjuan: Control yer shit fool! (Once they see Hector is dead, Special K and Antjuan run away)
Brendan Filone: Fuck. Oh fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck, Junior fuckin' Soprano's gonna go ape shit! Fuck!
Tony Soprano: You boys...you boys...I'll tell ya...it's beautiful stuff though. (about Italian suits they were left with after Brendan hijacked a Comley truck)
Brendan Filone: Ton', I'm so sorry-
Tony Soprano: Shut up!
Christopher Moltisanti: Just so long as you realize I had nothin' ta do with this Ton'.
Brendan Filone: Ton', that's true, he stood home-
Tony Soprano: Shut up! You stood home? Did you do anything ta stop it? Did you offer any guidance? What do we mean when we say leadership, hm?
Brendan Filone: Ton', part of it's the crank, you know, but I'm goin' into the detox, swear to my mother.
Christopher Moltisanti: Brendan, shut the fuck up. You wanna get me clipped?
Tony Soprano: You know, you got a reputation for immaturity, and its not gonna be improved by not paying the tributes the acting boss demands of you.
Brendan Filone: Acting boss my ass Ton'. Come on, everybody knows you really run things since Jackie became the Chemosabe.
Tony Soprano: Hey, mikey, how's the boy?
Mikey Palmice: What boy is that, ton'?
Tony Soprano: The one you sleep with.
Mikey Palmice: Ohh.
Tony Soprano: I was just kiddin' ya. How you doin'?
Mikey Palmice: I'm all right.
Tony Soprano: How's my uncle treatin' ya?
Mikey Palmice: We're coverin' our nut. Hey, your nephew, what's he,retarded? He likes to play with trucks or somethin'?
Tony Soprano: "Retarded"? What if jerry lewis heard you talkin' like that?
Tony Soprano: It's too bad they don't have a telethon for fuckface- it is, huh? They found a cure yet? Come on. I was just kidding you. Come on. You're a good sport. Come on.
Mikey Palmice: All right
Tony Soprano: You all right? You all right?
Mikey Palmice: Yeah. I'm all right.
Paulie Walnuts: Fuckin' italian people. How did we miss out on this?
Pussy Bonpensiero: What?
Paulie Walnuts: Fuckin' expresso, cappuccino.We invented this shit, and all these other cocksuckers are gettin' rich off it.
Pussy Bonpensiero: Yeah. Isn't it amazing?
Paulie Walnuts: It's not just the money. It's a pride thing. All our food. Pizza. Calzone. Buffalo mozzarella. Olive oil. These fucks had nothin'. They ate poopsie before we gave'em the gift of our cuisine. But this, this is the worst, this "expresso" shit.
Pussy Bonpensiero: Take it easy.
Denial, Anger, Acceptance
Brendan Filone: Un-fuckin'-believable. We just returned maybe the biggest score of my whole year.
Christopher Moltisanti: Listen you fuck! Uncle Junior's been breakin' Tony's balls 'cuz you hijacked that truck. You're lucky Tony doesn't shove the cab up your ass.
Mikey Palmice: I think you should've taken care of this Christopher Moltisanti thing the minute it first happened. You should've sent a clear-cut signal... You fuck with Junior Soprano-
Uncle Junior: Take it easy. We're not making a western here.
Raymond Curto: That's the closest that junkie fuck ever got to a bath.
Larry Boy Barese: Yeah, well I got news for you. That junkie fuck was my biggest earner. During the football season, he moved more cards than 10 guys put together. And another thing, a certain friend of ours should've checked with me before he did a favor for the old man Capri.
Dr. Jennifer Melfi: What's the one thing, every woman, your mother, your wife, your daughter, have in common?
Tony Soprano: They all break my balls.
Tony Soprano: All due respect to New York, I don't think you should be tellin' my uncle how ta run things.
Johnny Sack: You think I got the balls ta drive in from New York and tell your uncle how he should run his family? I shouldn't expect to see the Statue of Liberty again if I did that, huh?
Tony Soprano: I was proud to be Johnny Soprano's kid. When he beat the shit out of that guy, I went to the class, I told them how tough my father was.
Livia Soprano: He goes to talk about his mother. That's what he's doing. He talks about me, he complains. 'She didn't do this, she did that.' Oh, I gave my life to my children on a silver platter, and this is how he repays me.
Uncle Junior: I bet that gym teacher shit a brick when your little friend puked on his boots, huh Anthony? (Anthony Junior laughs)
Tony Soprano: Wanna encourage him Uncle Jun'?
Uncle Junior: Hey, whatever happened ta boys will be boys?
Tony Soprano: (to Dr. Jennifer Melfi) Don't start talkin' ta me about legitimate business. What about chemical companies? Dumpin' all that shit into the rivers and they get all these deformed babies poppin' all over the place.
The Legend of Tennessee Moltisanti
Jeffrey Wernick: (Christopher watches Jeffrey Wernick on television) They will undoubtedly be focused on the, as yet unsolved, execution style slaying of Soprano family associate Brendan Filone. Was it part of a power struggle? My sources tell me that Filone...
Christopher Moltisanti: No one would ever had ranked him as associate.
Jeffrey Wernick: ...is a loyal soldier, if you will, and he winds up dead...for no as yet apparent reason.
Christopher Moltisanti: Soldier?! Brendan Filone...associate, soldier?! Fuck you! (Christopher throws his remote at the television)
Bakery Clerk: You motherfucker! You shot my foot!
Christopher Moltisanti: It happens.
Georgie: Fucking amazing though, huh? You know what, that news guy, he said the words Brendan Filone, I'm telling you, the hairs on the back of my neck stood up. I mean, I knew the guy.
Christopher Moltisanti: I got no identity. Even Brendan Filone's got an identity, he's dead.
Meadow Soprano: Boot your computer, the cops are coming.
Massive Genius: You people are alright. Godfather? I've seen that movie 200 times. Godfather II was definitely the shit. The third one, a lot of people didn't like it, but I think it was just misunderstood.
Carmela Soprano: You know, Tony, it's a multiple choice thing with you. 'Cause I can't tell if you're old-fashioned, you're paranoid, or just a fucking asshole.
Christopher Moltisanti: Hey, whose fuckin' welfare check you gotta cash to get a burger around here?!
Friend: Hey, did you ever see that picture of Galante dead with a cigar hangin' out of his mouth.
Tony Soprano: Well, how come he keeps sayin' you're takin' up space in school?
Tony Soprano: This better be good. I was takin' my kid fishin'.
Vin Makazian: Ah, Jesus, what...no hiya Vin, how's it doin' Vin, what do ya think Vin...
Tony Soprano: I...I...I thought we understood each other, right? I don't give two shits about you, your family, or whether you take it up the ass.
Jimmy Altieri: (At a funeral) Junior. Hey.
Uncle Junior: Jimmy. How ya doin' kid?
Jimmy Altieri: How many o' these things we gotta go ta? Brendan Filone's mother at the kid's funeral...the way she carried on...
Uncle Junior: Fuckin' manners.
Jimmy Altieri: I just want you ta know, I always thought ya had that right too, you know...(Jimmy does a gun motion with his hand)
Uncle Junior: Jimmy, lemme tell you somethin'. Don't worry about what I know.
Mikey Palmice: Junior, are you alright?
Uncle Junior: Pork chop boy was here, that fuckin' Altieri. Runnin' his mouth about the Brendan Filone hit. Is that what him and my other capos talk about behind my back at that fuckin' old folks home?
Mikey Palmice: Well, the meeting's adjourned at the green grove.
Donnie Paduana: They'll do it fucking tomorrow, my personal guarantee.
Mikey Palmice: Let me tell you something Donnie, if they don't, some hikers are gonna find your personal guarantee rolled up in a tube and shoved up your ass, you understand?
John Clayborn: Could you pull forward so we could get out?
Christopher Moltisanti: Alright, give me a minute?
John Clayborn: Police department.
Christopher Moltisanti: Where's your badge?
John Clayborn: Man, I said move this piece of shit fucking now!
Christopher Moltisanti: Get the fuck out of my face.
John Clayborn: (Walks back to his car and sits next to Rasheen Ray) We gonna have to waste this motherfucker too?
Tony Soprano: Nothin's gonna happen.
Carmela Soprano: Wake up Tony. It already did.
Tony Soprano: I took an oath Carmela.
Carmela Soprano: What are you, a kid in a treehouse?
Tony Soprano: Did you ever tell anybody about me goin' ta see Melfi?
Carmela Soprano: Is that why they tried to kill you? Because you're seeing a psychiatrist?
Tony Soprano: What're you talkin' about? It was a carjackin'.
Carmela Soprano: At least have the decency not to lie to me.
Tony Soprano: What do ya wanna do Carmela? You wanna move to Utah? Be Mr. and Mrs. Mike Smith? We...we can sell some Indian relics by the road. Maybe start a rattlesnake ranch.
Carmela Soprano: This is our chance ta get out Tony. We could start a whole new life.
Tony Soprano: Have some Mormons over the dinner. Eat some tomatoes that have no taste.
Carmela Soprano: You know what I want Tony? I want those kids ta have a father.
Tony Soprano: They got one. This one. Me. Tony Soprano. And all that comes with it.
Carmela Soprano: Oh you prick.
I Dream of Jeannie Cusamano
Jimmy Altieri: I got enough cologne on?
Christopher Moltisanti: You smell like Paco Rabanne crawled up your ass and died.
Jimmy Altieri: Whoah, easy for you to say. I don't get young ones like before.
Tony Soprano: (Artie Bucco holds a rifle to Tony's face) My mother?
Artie Bucco: Oh, don't say she's lyin' Ton'...because why would she!!!?
Tony Soprano: What she tell you, my mother?
Artie Bucco: Don't make it worse. Do me the respect of not treating me like a fuckin' idiot piece of shit. When you blew up the restaurant, you made me party to a criminal conspiracy, did you ever stop ta think about that?
Tony Soprano: I don't know what she told you, my mother, of all people...two arson investigators gave that fire a clean bill o' health Artie. Why the fuck would I blow up your restaurant?
Artie Bucco: To help me! You fuckin' bent psycho! You hear your uncle's gonna hurt my business by stagin' a hit in my place and that's yer solution?! To burn it down for the insurance money!!! What kind o' stupid, sick, twisted logic!
Tony Soprano: Ask yourself a question. Am I that fuckin' stupid, huh? Am I that fuckin' stupid, really...?
Dr. Jennifer Melfi: I have patients who are suicidal!
Tony Soprano: Well they're not gonna feel any better about their life if you get clipped.
Christopher Moltisanti: My friend Brendan, you shot him in his bathtub, naked. No chance to run.
Mikey Palmice: I swear to god, it wasn't me! It was Junior. He hated that kid, it was him.
Christopher Moltisanti: Yeah right, it was Junior. Mr. Magoo.
FBI Interrogator: Your tenure as boss was a short one. Actually, it was unusual in several ways. Let me put this to you as simply as I can. You can avoid sentencing on these charges if you will testify that in fact, you were not the boss of North Jersey, that in fact, your nephew Anthony Soprano was and is. That he de facto controlled your capos with the backing of two of the New York families communicating through their emissary, John Sacrimoni. We want Johnny Sack. But more than him, we want Mangano and Teresi.
Uncle Junior: I want to fuck Angie Dickinson, let's see who gets lucky first.