The Santa Clause 2
The Santa Clause 2 is a 2000 American comedy film starring Tim Allen and the sequel to the 1994 film, The Santa Clause. All the principal actors from the first film reprise their roles, except for Peter Boyle, who returns portraying a different minor chacater.
- Neil, have you ever actually helped anyone?
- [going on a date] A needlepoint sweater and a mini-van. I'll be back in about 8 minutes.
- [to Curtis; frustrated] Curtis, you're 900-years-old. Grow up!
- You are a sad, strange little man.
- The town will break our fall.
- Don't mess with me, Santa. I'm pre-El Nino.
- My dad is the best thing of all and I can't tell anyone about it. You have no idea how hard that is walking around with that secret for all these years. And now on top of everything, you're going out with Principal Newman? I mean, and you don't even tell me about it! My whole life has become about secrets and I hate it!
- Seeing isn't believing; believing is seeing.
- I have 33,000 offspring, all in private school.
- You know what, I totally put myself out there doing that. And that was not an easy thing to do, and if you're the kind of man that can't support a woman's ambition, then I don't think there's any reason to continue this date.
- Scott/Santa: I can't see anything. I see. Good, good, good. I see it. Okay. Well, uh, "The card holder acknowledges a woman of his choosing. True Love... Not valid in," uh, "state of Utah. Holy...Matrimony"? I gotta get married?!
- Bernard: Yes, It's...the Mrs. Clause.
- Scott/Santa: Wait a minute, I got it. I got it. I got it. How about this? The Moleinator.
- Tooth Fairy: The Molarnator. I like it. Thank you, Santa. Can we vote right now on The Molarnator?
- Santa: That's weird, isn't it?
- Puppets: Uh-oh!
- Santa: These fit yesterday, didn't they?
- Abby: Hot cocoa for you, Santa.
- Bernard: This is not a good time, Abby.
- Abby: I sent Dasher down for some Brazilian cocoa beans.
- Santa: What's the bad news?
- Abby: [smiling] What do you mean?
- Santa: Whenever you play the designer bean card, generally, you have bad news. [Abby's smile fades, and he gives Santa the naughty list]What are you doin' with the naughty-and-nice list?
- Abby: Just don't shoot the messenger. [Santa opens the naughty list] It's... Charlie.
- Santa: Sheen? I thought he straightened out?
- Abby: Not that Charlie.
- Santa: My Charlie? My son, Charlie? He's on the naughty list?
- Puppets: [shocked] AAAAAAH! [they hide]
- Santa: This is-- There's gotta be a mistake.
- Abby: We don't make mistakes. I'm sorry, Santa. Please excuse me.
- [Comet grunts about the lights not being straight.]
- Scott: What do you mean it's not straight? [Comet grunts] Sure it's straight.
- Comet: [grunting] Uh-uh.
- Scott: Maybe your head's crooked. [Comet grunts in protest.] You know, Prancer's not this picky.
- Comet: [grunting] Yes, he is.
- Lucy: Hi, Comet!
- Comet: [grunting; happily] Hi!
- [Scott shushes Comet silently]
- Lucy: I've got something for you.
- Scott: Hey, Lucy, what have you got there? [Lucy unwraps out a Christmas-themed Crunch Bar] Ohh, you gotta be careful with the sweets: He tends to overeat.
- Lucy: Uncle Scott, are you Santa Claus?
- Scott: What? Why would you ask me something like that?
- Lucy: 'Cause you have a reindeer and only Santa has reindeer.
- Scott: Nonsense. A lot of people have reindeer.
- Lucy: Name five.
- Scott: Well... most of them live in Finland, but I can't pronounce their names. [Comet stares at Scott] Besides, reindeer are too stupid to make good pets. [Comet scowls at Scott]
- Lucy: Well, I think you're very smart. [Comet licks her, and she giggles]
- Carol: Well, maybe if you spent more time with your son, there would be fewer problems.
- Scott: Maybe, but then I wouldn't get to spend more time with you. It's always such a pleasure.
- Carol: Oh, a battle of wits. It's a shame that you came unarmed. Excuse me.
- Scott: [quietly] Ouch.
- Picardo: [stopped by Carol Newman] Good morning, Principal Newman.
- Carol: Mr. Picardo, I want you to look into my eyes. What do you see?
- Picardo: It's dark... and it's cold.
- Carol: It's your future, Mr. Picardo. Keep this up, and you will spend the rest of your life stabbing trash by the highway. Do I make myself clear?
- Picardo: Yes.
- Carol: So, what are you going to do?
- Picardo: I'm going straight to 3rd-period geometry.
- Carol: Have a nice trip.
- Toy Santa: [singing] Dashing through the snow in a strip-mining machine. Flatten the hills we go. Come on! Put a smile on that face, little troll! Wait a minute. I got a joke. This'll cheer you up. Knock, knock!
- Elf: Who's there?
- Toy Santa: Aren'tcha.
- Elf: "Aren'tcha" who?
- Toy Santa: AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO GET BACK TO WORK?! All of ya, you little idiots! Back to work!
- Bernard: Where are you going?
- Scott: You know this, Number One. Its Christmas. I've got to deliver gifts.
- Bernard: Aren't you forgetting something?
- Scott: No.
- Bernard: You gotta get married.
- Carol: Excuse me?
- Scott: Carol, I... I cannot continue being Santa...unless I find a Mrs. Claus.
- Carol: Oh. So that's what the whole noodles and pie thing...You just needed to find a wife.
- Scott: No.
- Carol: No?
- Scott: Yes.
- Carol: Yes?
- Scott: Yes, I was looking for a wife. No, I didn't figure on falling... in love.
- Carol: You love me? This is all happening so fast.
- Scott: Well, there's no pressure.
- Carol: Good.
- Scott: I just won't deliver the gifts and children everywhere will stop believing, the elves will lose their jobs, the North Pole will disappear and Christmas will be gone.
- Abby: Get down on one knee.
- Scott: Hm?
- Abby: Do it. Now. Say "Carol."
- Scott: Carol.
- Carol: Uh-huh? Yeah?
- Abby: You say this is happening all so fast.
- Scott: You say this is happening all so fast.
- Abby: But you've known me your whole life.
- Scott: But you've known me your whole life.
- Abby: When you were little and alone...Santa...
- Scott: I can take it from here... Santa was always there for you. And I will be, as long as you continue to believe in me. I know I'm asking you to leave everything at home, but I can guarantee you that this is worth it. This place... This place is all about magic and love... and wonder. And occasionally, a thin-crust pizza and a movie and a long winter night.
- Carol: Is there a school here?
- Scott: Yeah, we have one, a school, the elves need a new principal. Cause as of late some of the elves have been acting a bit impish. Carol, I love you.
- Carol: You do?
- Scott: Will you be my wife?
- Abby: I will.
- Carol: Thank you. I've got it from here. I will.
- Santa Claus is coming to town. November 1
- Check it twice
- What's Christmas Fun without some Reindeer Games?
- Tim Allen - Santa Claus/Scott Calvin/Toy Santa
- Elizabeth Mitchell - Carol Newman
- Eric Lloyd - Charlie Calvin
- Wendy Crewson - Laura Miller
- Judge Reinhold - Dr. Neil Miller
- Liliana Mumy - Lucy Miller
- David Krumholtz - Bernard the Arch-elf
- Spencer Breslin - Curtis
- Danielle Woodman - Abby the Elf
- Aisha Tyler - Mother Nature
- Peter Boyle - Father Time
- Jay Thomas - the Easter Bunny
- Art LaFleur - the Tooth Fairy
- Michael Dorn - the Sandman
- Molly Shannon - Tracy