I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.
I masturbate! I do it like I think if I keep doing it, I'm gonna win something.
If you're going to stop masturbating, you can't 'taper off'. You've got to quit, cold jerky!
The good thing about masturbation is that you don't have to dress up for it
If God had intended for us not to masturbate, He would have made our arms shorter.
Masturbation: Shaking hands with the unemployed.
Physics is to mathematics as sex is to masturbation
The only thing about masturbation to be ashamed of is doing it badly.
Intercourse with a woman is sometimes a satisfactory substitute for masturbation. But it takes a lot of imagination to make it work.
Sophisticated persons masturbate without compunction. They do it for reasons of health, privacy, thrift and because of the remarkable perfection of invisible partners.
We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.
If you're going to gamble your lives sexually, don't play a lone hand too much.
Masturbation is just like procrastination, it's fun at first, but in the end you're just screwing yourself.
Marriage is like a game of bridge: if you don't have a good partner you'd better have a good hand.
Return to "Masturbation" page.
