Saturday Night Live/Season 19
Saturday Night Live: Seasons: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50
Sara Gilbert/Counting Crows
edit- Lucy (David Spade): God, I love these fries!
- Cindy (Chris Farley): If you love' em so much, why don't you marry 'em! [Takes some fries] Can I have some?
- Lucy: Um, sure, Cindy, go ahead..
- Cindy: [taking more] Oh, God, these are good!
- Kristy (Adam Sandler): Uh.. Cindy, can you leave some for us?
- [Cindy laughs and keeps eating]
- Lucy: I thought you were, um, trying to lose weight?
- Cindy: [deep voice, while choking Lucy] LAY OFF ME, I'M STARVING!
Emilio Estevez/Pearl Jam [19.18]
edit- Kevin Nealon: [subliminal editorial] In Singapore, public flogging by law is one hundred years old. (Dick Clark) And, frankly ...I was stunned to think there was any place on Earth where a teenage boy could be stripped and paddled across his bare buttocks. (Neverland Ranch) Admittedly...some convicted felons deserve to be beaten. (Leona Helmsley) But some say justice must be satisfied. But who gets satisfaction out of having people tied up and whipped? (Rick James) Others say...this acts as a deterrent but no one can predict the future. (Hillary Clinton) Yes, the boy admitted to spray painting cars, but he's only eighteen and young people often do stupid and impulsive things they later regret. (Shannen Doherty) I happen to think...that everyone's entitled to one mistake. (Euro Disney) And I'm not saying there aren't...those who I'd love to see get a good flogging. (Urkel) It's just that...I'm afraid we've become so insensitive that we've learned to accept the idea of a man's beating in public. (Pee Wee Herman) Let's have some compassion... Remember... No, I'm just saying, you gotta... Remember, justice should be tempered with mercy. These words from a wise man (Bazooka Joe) should be our watchword. ... And hopefully, before long, this boy can go on with his life and his story will be yesterday's news and long forgotten. (Debbie Gibson) Thank you.
Heather Locklear/Janet Jackson [19.20]
edit- Phil Hartman: Ladies and gentlemen, as we close out our 19th season, let’s say goodbye to the Saturday Night Live family singers.
- [The remaining cast enters Home Base, each dressed as one of their prominent recurring characters]
- Cast: So long, farewell!
- Auf wiedersehen, goodnight!
- Lucy & Kristy: We sell you jeans
- Like, even if they’re too tight!”
- [Lucy and Kristy leave, as do each character after their respective solo]
- Cast: So long, farewell!
- We must be stealing.
- Tori Spelling (Melanie Hutsell): Watch 90210.
- Ike Turner (Tim Meadows): I’m sorry, Kevin Nealon.
- Cast: So long, farewell!
- We’d like to give you more.
- Jay Mohr, Sarah Silverman, Norm MacDonald: We’re not on a lot
- So we’d better try and score.
- Cast: So long, goodbye
- It’s time to say farewell.
- Linda Richman (Mike Myers): I feel verklempt
- So talk among yourselves.
- Cast: So long, farewell!
- We have to bid adieu.
- Zoraida (Ellen Cleghorne): What makes you think
- That I won’t cut you?
- Cast: So long, farewell!
- To say goodbye is sad.
- Richmeister & Pat (Rob Schneider and Julia Sweeney): We skipped this year
- And that’s why it was bad.
- Cast: So long, farewell!
- We’ll wake up bright and early.”
- Michael McKean: [dressed as Lenny Kosnowski] I don’t have a character yet
- But I was on Laverne & Shirley.
- Matt Foley: [alone and tired] So long.. farewell
- Hey, what am I, chopped liver?
- I need to sleep in a van down by the river.
- [Matt sits on the apron of the stage, half-asleep, as Phil Hartman sits and wraps his arm around him]
- Phil Hartman: You know, I can’t imagine a more dignified way to end my eight years on this program.
- [singing] Good-bye... good-bye... good-bye.