Night Court (season 9)

---

Seasons: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9| Main

---

Night Court (1984–1992) is an American sitcom, airing on NBC, about the night shift of a Manhattan court, presided over by the young, unorthodox Judge Harold T. "Harry" Stone.

A Guy Named Phantom: Part 1 [9.01]

Dan: Ah yes, poor Dan. Most of his friends think he's guilty. [Evil laugh] What am I laughing at? I'm Dan. No, I'm not. Now, I am the Phantom of the Courthouse. And no, Inspector Pepitone, you will not bring Dan Fielding to justice because there is no justice in this building. Not yet anyway. But soon I will remedy that, I will vanquish the guilty! I will punish the wicked! [Rushes to the desk] I will take this stapler because I need one. I will raid the refrigerator [evil laugh] because the Phantom's lair is short on half and half! Now I must prepare, because my time is near. The time of... the Phantom! [Evil Laugh, runs into the couch] Ouch! The Phantom banged his shin. I'll have to take that out... on someone.

Puppy Love [9.04]

Dan: Hi, pumpkin!

Tammy: Don't "pumpkin" me, Dan Fielding. How dare you treat me the way you did last night?

Bull: Dan, what did you do to this poor girl?

Dan: Nothing!

Tammy: Exactly! I go out of my way to land the great Dan Fielding, the prince of passion, the carnal commando. And I end up with Captain Kangaroo!

Dan: [cowering] Tammy, you're upsetting me. You've never talked to me like this before.

Tammy: Get used to it, jerkface, 'cause no yuppy-trash, slimeball creep walks out on me!

Dan: Now, wait a sec... Slimeball... creep. That rings a bell, too. You were saying? [Tammy slaps him] A stinging sensation on my cheek. I remember that, too. Once more, please. [Another slap] Oh, yes. It's all coming back to me now.

Tammy: What's coming back to you?

Dan: Whoa. Every...thing!

Pop Goes the Question [9.05]

Roz: Dan, I'm going around the world!

Dan: Big deal. I did that last night with Angela.

Get Me to the Roof on Time [9.10]

Harry: Friends, family, Art. You know, each and every one of us has some special qualities that make us different from everybody else. I suppose when we're all alone, we end up thinking that those qualities might make us unattractive. But you only have to look at Bull and Wanda to see that that's not true. Here are two people that were brought together because of their uniqueness, not in spite of it. Two people who may see the world differently from most, but it's just fine for each other. Two people whose uniqueness has made their love for each other that much more special. And now, it is my great pleasure to bring these two very special people together. Bull, Wanda, you have any vows you want to share?

Bull: Wanda, I promise to love you with all my heart, to share with you the secrets of my soul, and never to hog the sheets, even when my toes are frosty.

Wanda: Ditto.

Harry: Wanda, do you take Bull as your husband, to love, to honor, and to cherish as long as you both shall live?

Wanda: I do.

Harry: And Bull, do you take Wanda as your wife, to love and honor and cherish as long as you both shall live?

Bull: Okay.

Harry: Be there anyone here who knows any reason why these two should not be wed, let him speak now.

Roz: Or forever answer to me.

Harry: Then by the power vested in me by the State of New York, I pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the groom.

Wanda: [like her new husband] Okay.

A New York Story [9.13]

Dan: Miss Mass Transit did not win because I received any special favors.

Christine: Oh, come on, Dan, you have the gall to say you didn't sleep with her?

Dan: Oh, no, I slept with her.

Christine: See there?!

Dan: But I also slept with Miss Crosstown Bus, Miss Turnstile, and Miss Elevated Platform. I mean, when it came to the Miss Mass Transit Pageant, I got off at every stop.

Party Girl (Part 1) [9.16]

Dan: Lisette, give me your hand.

Lisette: Why?

Dan: Well, I need it for Chapter 7: The Delicate Art of Touch.

Lisette: Well, what are you gonna do with it?

Dan: I need it so I can make you feel relaxed, now give it to me!

Harry: More surrogacy training, Dan?

Dan: Dr. Weeks's course is very thorough.

Roz: Unlike her screening process.

Dan: [holding Lisette hand in right and following instructions with left] "Foreplay should be the most important part of lovemaking. Starting with the fingers, gently trace up your partner's arm. Caress the shoulder with care, delicately massaging each muscle while isolating each key erogenous zone." [His hand goes over Lisette's face, making her very hot] What's wrong with you?

Lisette: Nothing, baby.

Roz: Huh?

Lisette: [snapping out] Boy, is my hair dirty? I think I'll go take a cold shower.