Murder, She Wrote (season 8)

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Murder, She Wrote (1984–1996) is an American television show, airing on CBS, about mystery writer and amateur detective Jessica Fletcher.

Unauthorized Obituary [8.3]

Beth Dawson: I don't even like Steve. In fact, I can't imagine why you ever married him.

Jane Dawson: It's not that complicated, honey. Steve is tall, he looks great in a tuxedo, and he's terrific in bed.

---

Jane: Everybody loves Ellen Lombard. That's why I'll have a dynamite best-seller. When people find out that America's sweetheart is now a lush and a pill addict, they'll be standing in line to buy the book. Why do you think people buy your books? Because somebody gets killed and somebody takes a fall. We're in the same racket.

Jessica: My books are fiction, yours are only half fiction. I believe there's a difference.

Judge Not [8.6]

Detective John Coop Jr.: You are going to catch a plane and you are going to go home. You've been a great help to my mother. Thank you. But you're no longer needed here. Understood?

Jessica: Well, I believe I'll let Melinda tell me if she needs me. And I like to make my own arrangements as to when and where I travel. Is that understood?

Terminal Connection [8.7]

Ginny Blanchard: I just can't help feeling that I did something wrong.

Jessica: It's not your fault, Ginny. It's a sickness. It's Clark's sickness. Your only fault is in allowing it to continue. I'm not going to try and tell you what to do, because I'm not an expert on wife battery and there are people who are trained in these matters, but I'm going to tell you something very plainly. There are only two things you can do: seek professional advice or leave the relationship.

The Committee [8.9]

Theo Cayle: [after Jessica accuses him of committing the murders] This is nonsense.

Jessica: No, Theo. It was you who told Lawrence that Gerald's businesses weren't run well. You who suggested to Gerald and others that Lawrence was having some problems of his own. You who lured your brother into the room with Edward's wife. All so you could have him brought up before the Committee. And when that happened, he was as good as dead.

Theo: But I was nowhere near the club when Lawrence was killed. Everyone saw me driving away.

Jessica: No, they saw your car leave driven by Lisa. I remembered when she arrived at the party last night her shoes were soaking wet from the rain. But everyone entering or leaving was carefully kept dry by the valets. The only way her shoes could have gotten wet would be if she was dropped off near the club and walked the rest of the way. Later, she got in your car, leaving everyone to assume that you had gone home. I realized that someone else had been driving your car when you had to push the seat back. It had been adjusted to accommodate Lisa. You then waited for Lawrence, and when he arrived that night, you killed him.

Lt. Howard Tartarus: We checked the cab company. And they have a record of picking up someone matching your description three blocks from here less than an hour after the murder.

Jessica: You wanted control of his estate. Two billion dollars. You resented his success, resented being shoved into the background. Cleaning up his mess.

Lt. Tartarus: As for Harcourt, Jessica told me he came to your house to offer condolences. He probably brought the marble along to prove he voted innocent. So you killed him to eliminate the evidence that the vote had been tampered with by severing the brake line of his sports car.

Lisa Sutton: Harcourt, too? But you didn't tell me.

Theo: Be quiet.

Lisa: I swear, I didn't know what he was gonna do. He just gave me $10,000 to switch the vote and drive his car home. He said it was a gag, that's all. And then when Lawrence was killed, he threatened me. He said that we'd both be up for murder. But I didn't know. I swear it. I didn't know.

Danse Diabolique [8.11]

Jessica: It must be very difficult for you, having your husband replace you.

Claudia Cameron: No one lasts forever. Not in ballet. It takes a terrible toll. Youth is everything. Ballet loves the young.

Jessica: You know, Claudia, I wasn't exactly a teenager when I started writing. Try not to accept defeat so easily. I mean, you must have other options.

Claudia: But I don't know how to do anything else but dance. And apparently, I'm too old for that.

Jessica: Listen, maturity and experience are benefits. They're not disadvantages. Your talent, your dedication, are priceless resources. You have so much to give, you know.

---

Edward Hale: [after being exposed as the murderer] This show was my last chance! If word got out that I was on pills again, I'd be finished!

Lt. Martin Kinicki: And nobody knew, except Lily.

Edward Hale: She started pushing me to get Claudia's role. And I did it! And then, when I saw her with Geoffrey, I figured she was going to dump me just like she dumped Barry. I couldn't let that happen. I just wanted one thing in my life to go right.

The Witch's Curse [8.12]

Eve Simpson: I could do a Blanche DuBois that'll curl your hair.

Dr. Seth Hazlitt: Of that, I have every confidence.

Ever After [8.16]

Joanna Rollins: Oh, I don't know, Jessica, sometimes I feel like giving the whole thing up. Everybody thinks I live such a glamorous life, but I don't.

Jessica: Well, you'd have a lot of trouble convincing your fans of that.

Joanna Rollins: It's just too much responsibility. Unless I scream at the writers, I get horrible scripts. All the producers want to do is cut the budget. And I even have to fight with the studio executives, who look and act like they're 12.12 years old.

Jessica: Well, it's taken me a long time to find the real secret. But, you know, I've decided that success is really within yourself. Not out there in the world.

---

Joanna Rollins: [after Jessica exposes her and her co-conspirator] This whole sick plan was his idea! He said he'd be a decoy so no one would suspect me! Really! He's mentally deranged! He's violently ill! Oh, I've taken the abuse. I've taken it day after day and month after month. But he said to me, said if I didn't cooperate, he'd kill me! And I knew he would; I did! I knew he would! I knew it.

Sonny Lane: Bravo, darling. How about trying it again? Only this time, with conviction.

Murder on Madison Avenue [8.22]

Sylvia Moffett: [after Jessica exposes her as the murderer] Mr. Greenstreet thinks I did it for him. But I did it for myself. Boss Lady had teeth and claws, and I didn't. She worked nights and made keys to all the offices. She copied people's ideas and claimed them as her own. She made love to the men who could help her. And when she couldn't use them anymore, she fired them. The day she became more powerful than you could handle, Mr. Greenstreet, that's the day you came to me, and I became your mole. I've got to thank you. It's the only thing that made it bearable over the years. That, and knowing that someday, I'd have my own kind of revenge.

Edgar Greenstreet: Moffett, I ... I don't know what to say.

Sylvia Moffett: Then stop calling me Moffett. My name is Sylvia.