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JumpStart Adventures 5th Grade: Jo Hammet, Kid Detective

1997 video game

JumpStart Adventures 5th Grade: Jo Hammet, Kid Detective is a computer game created by Knowledge Adventure.

Dialogue

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[clicking the help icon at the sign-in screen in later releases]
Jo: Type your name here.
Dr. X: With no one to stop me, revenge is mine!
[Jo wakes up screaming and yawning from a horrible nightmare]
Jo: [thinking] It started as another bleak day in Hooverville. The kind of day that...
Jo: Oh, no! The detective movie marathon! [clicking through static TV channels] Huh?
Radio: Miraculously, no one was injured in the blast that destroyed the Hooverville television relay station earlier this morning. Taking responsibility is one Dr. X, as he's calling himself, who has vowed to destroy the city, one building at a time.
[Jo grabs the skateboard and headed to the bus, and she boards the school bus with her skateboard that she keeps with her at all times]
Jo: [thinking] Where was I? Oh, yeah! It started as another bleak day in Hooverville. The kind of day that makes you talk to yourself while riding a bus. If it wasn't for this field trip to the museum, I'd have never gotten involved in the biggest case of my life, and the city's history.
Jo: [shouting to Martin] Hey buddy, you dropped your glasses! Hey mister! Hey! Huh? [Martin suddenly gets taken away by some thugs] That was odd.
Janitor: What's going on here? That was my nephew, Martin. Those bullies were carrying him away.
Jo: Are you sure this wasn't some nouveau art performance?
Janitor: There's no room for performance in art. At least that's what my father used to say.
Jo: He sounds like an open-minded guy!
Jo: Can you think of any reason why your nephew might NEED to be carried off from a public place?
Janitor: Rattling rutabagas, this is my nephew we're talking about. He's a good, honest boy. A bit on the nerd side, but good.
Jo: Hey, hey, hey! Without nerds, we'd have no computers. No computers means no computer games and without computer games, where would we be?
Janitor: Probably the funny papers.
Jo: What was your nephew doing with thugs like those?
Janitor: I don't know! He used to work non-stop with some doctor researching animal communications in his spare time while finishing his graduate studies. The next thing I know, he's got these low-lives around him pushing him this way and that!
Jo: What kind of animal communication?
Janitor: This doctor he worked for used to have some kind of crazy notion that he could talk with the animals. Used to wear sea life on his head and claim that he could communicate with them. [gasps] So weird.
Jo: Stop!
[B.F. Skinny and the Janitor stops running]
B.F. Skinny: HELP!
Jo: [gasps]
B.F. Skinny: HELP! THIS MADMAN'S NUTS! He's trying to sweep the floor with me! Sheesh! [gasps] Lady and guy with broom, I am B.F. Skinny. Here, I got this note for you.
Jo: Is that bow tie some kind of fashion statement?
B.F. Skinny: Yeah. I'm saying HEY, I'M A RAT! I'M READY FOR ANYTHING!
Jo: You've got a point.
Jo: How do we find Martin?
B.F. Skinny: Oh, Martin. THEY GOT MARTIN! CAN'T... REMEMBER... WHO... D'OH!
Jo: Could you draw a picture of the men?
B.F. Skinny: Look, lady. I'm a rat. You're lucky I'm even talking to you.
Jo: Where did you get this note?
B.F. Skinny: Note? What note? What's with the third degree, huh? What are you, some kind of shrink?
Jo: I didn't know rats went to psychiatrists.
B.F. Skinny: Oh, yes. We are firm believers in positive reinforcement. Could I have a cookie, please?
Jo: Where did you come from?
B.F. Skinny: Where did I come from? I'm a lab rat! Heh, you figure it out.
Jo: That's it, I'm calling the exterminator.
B.F. Skinny: Hold your horses! Hold your horses! All I can remember is Martin telling me to take this note to the museum and give it to somebody?! But I don't remember! He'll call me whenever he needs help, and I'll deliver notes here.
Jo: [inspecting the note] Hmm... Huh? I need to figure out this crossword to get the coded message. Luckily, I'm already at the museum, and can look for the answers in the exhibits.
Jo: Let's see here. If I take the letters that the arrows are pointing at, then rearrange them. It's got to be some sort of address. Moki & Ana...? Huh, that doesn't sound right. What else could it be? Oak & Main.
[clicking on the Journal icon at the bottom of the screen]
Jo: Do you know where Oak & Main are?
Janitor: Yeah. I've got a map you can take.
[The Janitor hands the map to Jo]
Janitor: Hooverville is pretty big, so this map's a big help. Move your mouse around to see what's what. Just click on a place to start a trip.
Vail & Kent Technician: I haven't seen any slippery activity here.
Jo: Find a place, and click on it to go there.
Jo: [clicking on the dam anytime before the final mission] I can't go there, I'm on a case!
Jo: Skating's easy! Just don't fall. Use the arrow keys to move around the screen, and the space bar to jump. Watch out for anything that might trip you up!
Jo: The electroplating plant. Well, this is where the note said to come. Since no one's here to greet me, I guess I'll just have to pick that lock to get inside.
[clicking on the sabotage site entrance]
Jo: This lock's tricky. I can pick it to get inside! But first, I'll need to match all the numbers on the sides of these triangles. I can move them and spin them, but I have to solve the math problems first.
Martin: Oh, thank goodness you're here. We've got to hurry! Dr. X's men, they'll be back any minute.
Jo: So, now that you're mixed-up in a life of crime, I've gotta ask, does it pay?
Martin: Only if you consider sleepless nights and stress-induced hair loss as payment. I'd say no.
Jo: Yeah. I'd uh... I'd say no, too.
Jo: Who is this X you're talking about?
Martin: Dr. X was a brilliant scientist in the field of animal behavior who actually found a link between certain types of creatures and a neurotransmitter in the human brain that allows limited but effective cross-species communication. During the course of one of the experiments, though, he received a heavy dose of radioactive toast. And now, he's a little bit crazy.
Jo: How crazy?
Martin: Crazy enough to force me to sabotage this electroplating factory. He has some mad idea about getting revenge on the companies who used to support his research. But, according to him, they cut his funding unfairly. So now, he plans to blow 'em all up. Quick, hide! They're coming back! Now's a good time to try out the glasses.
Jo: The lab assistant said I could read thoughts with these glasses, but the message is scrambled because I'm not wearing an octopus on my head. Thank goodness. I just need to put the right words into their proper places. When you've figured out where the words fit, be sure to read what they've said. Could be valuable information. Oh, and if you start picking wrong words, your correct choices will disappear.
Thug: Quiet down and concentrate, you knuckleheads.
Jo: Hmm. Looks like I'll need to get a few things in the city to try and get to that bomb. I bet I can get to places like the mine shaft, the juice bar, and the junkyard to get the items. But what would be insulation from electricity? What would lock down the control arm? And just what could I use as a conductive item to short out the terminals?
Jo: [clicking on the museum or any sabotaged sites while looking for items] I need to look for that stuff somewhere in town.
Jo: The trick to skating is not to hit anything.
Jo: Bernie?! Is that you?! What are you doing here?!
Bernie: Shhh! Not so loud, Jo! I'm undercover getting a story. A reporter's work is never done. So, what's up with you, huh? What can I do for you? Just pretend you don't know me.
Jo: This place is seedier than a corn field.
Bernie: Yeah, but it's got atmosphere.
Jo: So much I can hardly breathe.
Jo: I'm looking for some kind of insulation from shock.
Bernie: Life can be pretty shocking.
Jo: I mean I'm looking for something to prevent electric shock.
Bernie: Oh, that kind of insulator. Well, I got some rubber boots in the lost and found. But, uh... You'll need to help me out first.
Bernie: Hey! Mixing milkshakes is a snap, you just need to follow instructions. Take the measuring cups, and fill them with the right liquid. Then, dump it into one of your glasses. You'll need to get the right mixture, or it'll taste awful. When you have the right amount, dump the glasses into the blender. It's easy!
Bernie: You've done good, Jo. Thanks! Here's what you need. Oh, gee! Jo, I'm sorry! I'm just too busy to talk right now.
Jo: [clicking on an activity place you already picked up an item from] I've already been there.
Jimmy: Hey there, kid! I'm Jimmy the Shadow. Welcome to my humble establishment. What can I do for you, huh?
Jo: This place could really grow on you. Like a bad infection.
Jimmy: You say that like it's a bad thing.
Jo: Just keep up with your tetanus shots.
Jo: Have you seen anything that might prevent electrocution?
Jimmy: Yeah, a governor's pardon! Heh, heh! Anything else?
Jo: I guess I couldn't expect anything better from a guy who spends all day surrounded by trash.
Jimmy: With all these piles of junk laying around there's bound to be another accident. Heh! You better beat it, kid.
Jo: Yeah, how about, ice cream has no bones?
Jimmy: That's... mindblowing! I think.
Jo: I'm looking for an object that will bridge circuits.
Jimmy: Could you be a little more cryptic?
Jo: I really need something that I could use to connect two electrical circuits to break them.
Jimmy: I might have some scrap metal in the back I can get for you. But, uh... I need you to help me out with something first.
Jimmy: In order to work, conserve space on my lot, I need you to rearrange this junk. Up there in the corner is a diagram that'll show you how the junk would best fit. The black shapes represent the pieces of junk that you'll need to try and copy the diagram. Do you follow me? Stop following me or I'll have you arrested. [laughs] It's a little joke.
Jimmy: OK, Here's what I promised you. Thanks for the help. I don't have time for you right now, kid. Go on, beat it!
Maggie: Oh, my! Well, I haven't had a visitor since the park service closed the mine due to falling rocks. My name is Maggie, Maggie Mead. What can I do for you?
Jo: What, exactly, are you doing with this stuff?
Maggie: I'm organizing. What does it look like?
Jo: It looks like obsessive compulsion.
Jo: Do you have a lock I can borrow?
Maggie: Do you work for the Park Service?
Jo: Why, yes! Actually, I'm the director of the Park Service down from Yosemite! How did you know?
Maggie: Lying will get you nowhere.
Jo: No, I don't think so.
Maggie: OK then, I've got an old lock that used to keep kids from playing in the mine shaft, but we don't need it anymore. I'll give it to you, but you need to help me a bit first.
Maggie: I'm sort of... Well, afraid of the dark! But I need to get some objects out of the mine for my studies. I know they're down there, but I don't remember exactly where. There's 3 mine levels down there, getting older the further you go down. You can take the elevator to get to them. Oh, and watch out for rocks!
Maggie: [If the player tries to go back not having all 3 of Maggie's objects] Ugh! That's not what I asked for. Please go back and get what I need.
Jo: Walk over an object and hit the space bar to examine it. Push A to jump. Push to Z to duck. If your health meter gets too low, you'll have to start again.
Jo: Look at the object and read the description. If it matches one of the objects that Maggie's for, click the green accept button. If it doesn't, click the red reject button. If you want to replace an object you found with a new one, click on the green button and it will replace the old object. There will only be one object per layer. If you want to hear what you're looking for again, click the question mark.
Jo: [after running out of health] OK, if at first you don't succeed, try, try try again... so, let's try again.
Maggie: Thanks for the help. Here's what you wanted. Can't talk, must... organize.
Jo: OK, I've got all the goods, now I need to get back to the electroplating factory.
Jo: Have you ever been electrocuted?
Oak & Main Technician: Just that one time, when I grounded my car battery with my tongue.
Jo: Is there someone else here I can talk to?
Jo: What are you still doing here?
Oak & Main Technician: Union rule 6875a says the technician must go down with his factory.
Jo: A captain and his ship, eh?
Oak & Main Technician: More like an electrical engineer and his electroplating factory, but that's the gist of it.
Jo: I need to use those items to get to the bomb. They're in my inventory.
Jo: OK, steady now. Disarming this bomb doesn't look too difficult. I hope. OK, there's a series of batteries with different voltages. Now, in order to shut this thing down, I need to get the right combination of batteries turned on. I need to get the voltage meter, the number in the red box, equal to the target number, in the dark blue box. To do this, turn the batteries on or off with the circuit android. Use the arrow keys to move the android and the space bar to flick the batteries on and off at the square junction boxes. That's simple enough, except there's also a couple of defence androids who'll try and stop me.
Jo: Just look what could've happened with such sloppy detective work!
Jo: [thinking] Some cases are fought for, and some drop in your lap. This one started with a trip to the museum, and bumping into an old stranger. It's only gotten stranger from there. All I know for sure is I need some sleep.
[Jo turns the lamp off]
Dr. X: How could you fail me?! I will pound you into pulp! But later... So this little brat thinks she's won, eh? No matter. The game's far from over. THEY'LL ALL LEARN TO FEAR DR. X!
B.F. Skinny: Hey there, hi there, ho there! Boy, it's good to be out of the lab! I felt like was just spinning my wheels! [laughs] Get it?! Lab rat?! Exercise wheel?! D'oh! Boy, this is a tough crowd. OK, alright, here's the note.
Jo: [inspecting the note] Hmm... Huh? Ugh! Another crossword. Well, I guess I'll never get the message if I don't finish.
Jo: These addresses are getting easier. What should Tali & Nevk really be? Vail & Kent.
Pico & Mill Technician: I haven't smelled any trouble around here.
Thug: [At the beginning of any skating activity from mission 2 onward] There she is, boys. Let's get her.
Thug: I'll get her!
Thug: I'll get you!
Thug: You can run, but you can't hide.
Thug: [If thug catches up to Jo] Ha, gotcha!
Thug: Get in there and be a good little girl. Then maybe we'll feed you! To the fishes, that is! Heh, heh, heh!
Jo: OK, here's how I see it. I can stack these crates to get to that broken window and out of this pit. But larger crates won't balance on the smaller ones, so I've got to be tricky and only stack small ones on top.
Jo: It's gonna be messy if Dr. X destroys the oil refinery. I need to get through that lock to see what I can do.
[clicking on the sabotage site entrance]
Jo: Ugh! Another lock to pick. I'll need to match the numbers again.
Jo: Let's see what they're talking about.
Thug: Quiet down and concentrate, you knuckleheads.
Jo: More stuff I'll need to get from town. Hmm, let's see, what could I use as a reflector? What kind of support structure could I make for those reflectors? And where am I going to find special equipment to lower myself with?
Jo: How long are you going to be working here on your story?
Bernie: Well... Actually, they replaced me at the paper with a typing chimpanzee. So, I've got more time than I expected.
Jo: A typing chimp? That's pretty impressive.
Jo: I need to do some rappelling, do you have any ropes and pulleys?
Bernie: You know, I did a story once on mountain climbing in the rock ridge canyon. I spent all day riding a burro to the bottom, and then I tried to climb back out.
Jo: So do you still have any equipment?
Bernie: No, no. I didn't have the equipment then, either. I guess that could've been the problem.
Jo: What do you mean tried?
Bernie: I got stuck 12 feet up the canyon wall and they had to send in search and rescue.
Jo: There are no small mirrors, only small people.
Bernie: That is really weird, Jo.
Jo: Well, Bern, I'm looking for some kind of reflective surface to redirect light.
Bernie: Like small mirrors?
Jo: Yeah. Mirrors would work great. Do you have any?
Bernie: Yeah. Hey, you'll never know what you'll find in the lost and found. I'll give them to you if you can give me a little help first.
Jo: More drinks. OK, let's get mixing!
Jo: Can I take the crane out for a drive through the city someday?
Jimmy: I already got in trouble for that a few years ago.
Jo: I was only kidding!
Jo: I need to do some rappelling, I was wondering if you had any gear, ropes, pulleys, you know, that sort of thing.
Jimmy: I'm not really an outdoor kind of guy, if you know what I mean.
Jo: But you work outdoors all day.
Jimmy: And it's ruining my complexion.
Jo: I need some kind of reflective surface. Like a small mirror.
Jimmy: Would you need it to, uh... redirect light in some way?
Jo: In a manner of speaking.
Jimmy: Well, uh... since you put it that way. In a manner of speaking, no. I don't have anything like that.
Jo: Jimmy, I'm here looking for something pliable yet solid. Something that will hold.
Jimmy: That makes no sense at all.
Jo: Like some sort of wire.
Jimmy: Oh, how about a coat hanger? I got one right here. But I need you to do some work for me, first.
Jimmy: Just like last time, I need you to move the junk to look like that diagram there.
Jo: Do you ever find yourself talking to rocks out here all alone?
Maggie: What do you mean? The rocks are my friends.
Jo: Just as I figured.
Jo: I need climbing gear, Ropes and pulleys, that sort of thing.
Maggie: Ropes and pulleys?
Jo: Yes. Climbing gear.
Maggie: Well, I suppose got that stuff laying around somewhere, but I'll need your help first.
Maggie: I need you to go down into the mine and find the following objects.
Jo: I've got everything I need, now I need to get back to the oil refinery.
Jo: How can you stand to be around all this oil?
Vail & Kent Technician: I used to try to stand around it, but it's so slippery I fell down a lot. Now, I crawl around it.
Jo: People in this town are really strange.
Jo: Aren't you trained to handle this kind of thing?
Vail & Kent Technician: I must've been sick that week of training.
Jo: Maybe you can call in sick tomorrow too.
Vail & Kent Technician: I hope I'm still alive to call anyone.
Jo: Hey, what's the rumpus?
Vail & Kent Technician: There's a bomb in the storage room, that's what. We'll be blown sky high!
Jo: Actually, we'll probably drown in oil first.
Vail & Kent Technician: That's reassuring.
Jo: Don't worry, I've dealt with this kind of thing before.
Vail & Kent Technician: That's a pretty strange hobby.
Jo: Not this again. OK, You know the deal. Use the arrow keys to move your android, the space bar to turn batteries on or off.
Jo: I guess you'll need to try harder. That would've been messy, if it really happened, that is.
Jo: [clicking anywhere other than the museum at the start of a mission] I should go back to the museum to see if there's any word from Martin.
B.F. Skinny: So, these three guys are walking through the desert, see, and... oh, nevermind. Here kid, here's a new note for you to figure out. Good luck!
Jo: Another scrambled address! Let's see, Olip & Limc. Uh-uh! Doesn't sound right. What else could these letters stand for? Pico & Mill.
Vine & Rye Technician: I haven't flipped over any wrongdoing tonight.
Jo: The chemical plant. So this is where Dr. X is targeted. I've got to get through that lock and see what he's done.
[clicking on the sabotage site entrance]
Jo: Ugh! Another lock to pick. I'll need to match the numbers again.
Jo: These guys are doing all my work for me! But where to find protection for my feet? And what about a balancing pole? What could I use? Finally, how can I carry the bomb away while retaining my balance?
Jo: There's something about this place that gives me the creeps.
Bernie: Oh, yeah? What's that?
Jo: The creeps who hang out here.
Jo: Bernie, I need to get some kind of protection for my feet.
Bernie: Well, uh... let's see. Well, whenever I play basketball, I wear two pair of socks to prevent blisters. Do you think that could work?
Jo: Yeah, maybe it would. Have you got some extra pair of socks?
Bernie: Actually, I've got 16 pair in the lost and found. Don't ask me why. I'll give them to you if you give me a little help first.
Jo: [If playing the juice bar activity on harder levels] OK, let's get this over with. Pick up the glasses and fill the right number with the right type of drink.
Jo: What do you with cars after you crush them into cubes?
Jimmy: [laughs] They don't roll so well anymore.
Jo: Creepy.
Jo: I'm looking for something to tie down a bomb.
Jimmy: I can't tell you how many people ask me for the exact same thing.
Jo: Really?
Jimmy: No, not really, but I have a scarf here you can use. Of course, you'll need to do a little task around the yard first.
Jo: How do you bring yourself here each day?
Maggie: I drive. I have a moped.
Jo: Of course you do. You know, wearing a helmet can protect you from injuries.
Jo: I need something to protect my feet from an acid.
Maggie: Well who doesn't?
Jo: I'm serious, I have to walk across acid. I need to protect my feet.
Maggie: You know, when I was a girl, we played archaeologist, and uh... Yeah, it was a lot more fun than walking across acid.
Jo: I need some kind of balancing pole.
Maggie: Well it's kind of hard to balance on a pole, isn't it?
Jo: No, I don't mean a pole to balance ON, I need a pole to balance myself WITH.
Maggie: Oh, well, yeah. I suppose you could take one of my shovels. Hmm, but you're gonna have to get something for me first.
Jo: With everything I need, I should get back to the gas plant.
Jo: Do you have fun at this job?
Pico & Mill Technician: It's a gas.
Jo: I'll just pretend I didn't hear that.
Jo: What will happen if these tanks blow up?
Pico & Mill Technician: Well, it would wipe out all the bugs for 30 miles, then again it would wipe out all the people, too.
Jo: And people complain about smog.
Pico & Mill Technician: They won't complain about anything if these tanks blow.
Jo: Powerful pesticides, gas-man!
Pico & Mill Technician: I can't believe you just said that.
Jo: Do you have the situation under control?
Pico & Mill Technician: Except for the part about a bomb dangerously close to exploding and threatening us all, I'd say yes.
Jo: Well, things could be worse, though I don't know how.
Pico & Mill Technician: Oh, they could be worse. I could be the one crazy enough to go up there to try and disarm the bomb.
Jo: You seem pretty well adjusted about it.
Pico & Mill Technician: On the inside, I'm crying.
Jo: Oh, man! You don't want that to happen, do you?! Let's try that again.
Jo: [thinking] This gumshoe business ain't so hard. I've figured out all the angles, and taken advantage of my wits and charm. It's easy! Maybe too easy. What if this is just a set-up? No, no, I can't chicken out now. Everything will be just fine.
[Jo turns the lamp off]
Dr. X: How could she stop me twice?! Oh, I'm surrounded by incompetence! Enough! In the future, things will not be so easy for the little crime stopper.
B.F. Skinny: Look out, ladies and gentlemen! B.F. Skinny's back in action! Delivering another note for justice!
Jo: What should Yin & Ever really be? Vine & Rye.
Pine & Bell Technician: I am unable to report anything out of the ordinary tonight.
Jo: Why would someone mess with the spatula manufacturing plant? Guess I'll need to get in there and see what the situation is.
[clicking on the sabotage site entrance]
Jo: Ugh! Another lock to pick. I'll need to match the numbers again.
Jo: Giant pair of tweezers? That's ridiculous! What can I use instead? And what about a catapult? How could I make that? Finally, what could I use to protect myself from a fall?
Jo: What other sort of stories have you been working on lately?
Bernie: I did a human interest story on a lady who collects rocks and things out at the old mine shaft, but uh... My editor didn't think it was interesting enough.
Jo: I can't imagine why.
Jo: Do you think you have a future in slinging drinks?
Bernie: In a word, no. Mmm... No.
Jo: Why not?
Bernie: Well, to start with, I can't mix drinks, and I'm rude to the customers, and I break things.
Jo: What are you going to do?
Bernie: If I can't get back on the paper with this story, I guess I'll become a special agent. [laughs] Or buy an ice cream truck. Either way!
Jo: I need something that I can pick up a large box with.
Bernie: Like, uh... some kind of forklift?
Jo: That seems a bit extreme. Do you have anything simpler?
Bernie: Hmm, let me see here. Oh, yeah, I got some old ice forks. I'll get them, but you'll have to help me out first.
Jo: I just saw a shoe box marked, cement one size fits all....
Jimmy: Yeah, yeah! That's uh... my favorite shoe brand. [laughs] Cement.
Jo: You're several pieces of scrap metal short of a full heap, aren't you?
Jo: I've got plenty of friends, but they're not trying to stop a mad bomber.
Jimmy: Oh, I see. Stopping a mad bomber's too good for 'em, huh? [laughs] What are your friends, some sort of big shots? You want I should take care of them for you?
Jo: I don't even want to know what you mean by, take care of.
Jimmy: Yeah, that's probably for the best. [laughs]
Jo: Oh, uh... Just off of my bunk-bed. Yeah, that's it.
Jimmy: Oh, a short fall. No. Nothing like that.
Jo: I need to get my hands on some sort of padding to cushion my fall.
Jimmy: Fall from what?
Jo: A leaning tower of spatulas.
Jimmy: Alright, listen. I'll pull down the giant catcher's mitt from one of the old billboards. But uh... I need you to help me with some work first.
Jo: Has anyone tried to buy this land to build houses on?
Maggie: They tried once, but I chained myself to a rock, preventing the bulldozers from coming in. They said I was crazy.
Jo: I can't imagine why.
Jo: And you're surprised by this? Oh, well... Listen, I need something to soften a fall.
Maggie: I only have rocks here. That won't soften a fall.
Jo: That wouldn't be using your head.
Maggie: No, It'd use your head, but it just wouldn't be very smart.
Jo: No, I think not.
Maggie: You think right.
Jo: Well, I can't imagine why... Anyway, I'm looking for something to pick up a large box.
Maggie: How about uh... a crane?
Jo: It wouldn't fit.
Maggie: That's good, I don't have one anyway.
Jo: I need something to tie down a giant spatula.
Maggie: How about a giant flapjack?
Jo: How about something more like rope. Have you got any?
Maggie: Oh, rope. Sure. Yeah, I have some rope. But you'll need to help me out before I give it to you.
Jo: I've got all the goods. Now I need to get back to the spatula plant.
Jo: Do you only make spatulas here?
Vine & Rye Technician: Only the world's finest spatulas.
Jo: You should be very proud.
Jo: Any ideas about how to bring the bomb down safely?
Vine & Rye Technician: Well, yeah, I've got a ton of... Wait! Did you say safely?
Jo: What did you have in mind?
Vine & Rye Technician: Hey, I enjoy preserved wildlife. Especially beef jerky.
Jo: I'm glad you're not in charge of wildlife preservation.
Vine & Rye Technician: Oh. No, no ideas.
Jo: What have you done to prevent the tower from falling?
Vine & Rye Technician: I haven't gone anywhere near it. That's my form of prevention.
Jo: I guess that's as good a plan as any.
Vine & Rye Technician: If you could somehow propel yourself up there, like with some kind of a springboard, you can grab the bomb and land on top of something soft. I mean I can get that giant spatula from the roof that you could use a springboard. It'll be dangerous, but I see no other way.
Jo: Look here, failure is not an option! Get back in there and stop this thing!
B.F. Skinny: Leaping lizards, traffic's tough in this town! I just saw a city bus try to get on the subway to beat the commute! Ouch! Heh, it's like performing for a brick wall. OK, here's your note. I'm gonna go cry myself to sleep.
Jo: Let's see if you can figure out the address this time! Libe & Nepl isn't right, so what is? Pine & Bell.
Dale & Nut Technician: No one's been stealing about around here.
Jo: Let's see what the doctor's done this time. I need to get through that lock first.
[clicking on the sabotage site entrance]
Jo: Ugh! Another lock to pick. I'll need to match the numbers again.
Jo: Out of control printing press! Now I've heard it all. Where am I going to find oil in town? How about a rope? Then there's the climbing hooks. Where should I look for those?
Jo: Why do people keep coming here when you're so bad at making drinks?
Bernie: I think they come to see me fail.
Jo: I know I do!
Jo: Yeah, I can see that. I'm just looking for some climbing hooks.
Bernie: The kind used to connect two ropes?
Jo: Yeah, that's the type. Do you have any?
Bernie: Yeah, I'm using them as belt buckles, but uh... I'll give them to you if you give me a hand.
Jo: What exactly is a club-tree-fort-house?
Jimmy: I don't know, uh... The kind of place you kids go to shoot marbles, or whatever it is you do nowadays.
Jo: Whew, you sure are hip with the times.
Jo: I don't know what you're talking about. I'm just here looking for some oil.
Jimmy: You're just here for oil? You're not just lost?
Jo: I'm not lost, I'm just looking for some oil.
Jimmy: Alright, alright! I'll give you some oil. But I need your help first.
Maggie: Can't talk, must organize.
Jo: What exactly are you organizing?
Maggie: It's my inventory of the archaeological history found in the mine shaft.
Jo: Oh. Rocks.
Jo: Sure, sure keep organizing, I'm just looking for some climbing hooks.
Maggie: Oh, the kind of hooks used to hook ropes together?
Jo: Or belts.
Maggie: Belts? No. I don't have any belts either.
Jo: That's the kind I'm looking for. Have you got any?
Maggie: No.
Jo: Don't let me stop you. I'm just looking for some oil.
Maggie: Slippery, slimy, staining-clothes oil?
Jo: No, I'm looking for the clear, sparklingly clean type.
Maggie: Wow, I didn't know they made such a thing. If you find some, [laughs] be sure to bring it by.
Jo: I don't mean to bother you, but I need some rope.
Maggie: Rope? What sort of rope?
Jo: The kind that isn't string.
Maggie: String? No. I haven't any string.
Jo: The kind of rope you make a lasso with.
Maggie: I've got some in the shack. I'll get it for you, but you'll need to do something for me first.
Jo: I need to get back to the newspaper printing plant. Now that I've got everything.
Jo: What will you do while I risk my life disarming that bomb?
Pine & Bell Technician: If it helps, I'll run around screaming. WE'RE ALL DOOMED!
Jo: No thanks.
Jo: There's NO way to turn that machine off?
Pine & Bell Technician: It's got its own power supply. I suppose turning that off would shut down the press.
Jo: Hello! Why haven't you done that already?
Pine & Bell Technician: Hey, you're the hero.
Jo: Great! How do we shut down the power?
Pine & Bell Technician: You have to turn the machine off to cut the power.
Jo: That would have been bad. How about you try harder this time?
B.F. Skinny: Quick, quick! Ooh, they just grabbed the guy with the broom! Here, here, take this note before they grab me!
Jo: How could you let them go?
B.F. Skinny: Hey, look at me! I'm 8 inches tall! What was I supposed to do?
Jo: Well, you could've gnawed on their shoes or something.
Jo: Did they say anything?
B.F. Skinny: No, not a word. It was creepy, like they were communicating through, uh... What's that called? Uh... ESPN.
Jo: Uh, do you mean ESP?
B.F. Skinny: Uh, Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Extra special people. Right, right.
Jo: Let's not talk about that.
B.F. Skinny: Fair enough. BUT PLEASE! YOU'VE GOT TO FIND THEM!
Jo: How did they know where to come?
B.F. Skinny: I don't know, I don't know. Maybe, maybe they followed me. I'm usually so careful, you know.
Jo: Did you keep checking behind you?
B.F. Skinny: What? I... I never thought to check for people following behind me! Who knew?!
Jo: Did you scurry through all the dark back alleys?
B.F. Skinny: No, I took the bus. It's faster
Jo: OK! Who took him?
B.F. Skinny: GUYS! BIG GUYS! BIG SMELLY GUYS! BIG SMELLY GUYS WITH BAD MANNERS!
Jo: With trench coats and purple hair?
B.F. Skinny: That's the ones! You're not related to them, are you? I mean if you are, their manners weren't that bad.
Jo: OK! Tell me how you really feel about them.
B.F. Skinny: THEY'VE GOT BAD BREATH!
Jo: I've got a feeling this address will lead us to the right place. Just have to figure out what Nuda & Let should really say. Dale & Nut.
Jo: Let's see what Dr. X has got for us this time. I'll just need to get through that lock.
[clicking on the sabotage site entrance]
Jo: Ugh! Another lock to pick. I'll need to match the numbers again.
Jo: Suction cups? Where am I going to find suction cups? And what could I use as a vine?
Bernie: Hey Jo, I know the drill by now. What do you need?
Jo: I really need a vacation. Any ideas?
Bernie: I hear there's a nice vacation spot on Mystery Mountain.
Jo: That doesn't sound like the rest and relaxation I'd be looking for.
Jo: Who says I need anything?
Bernie: I don't know, call it a hunch.
Jo: OK, It's a hunch.
Bernie: That's not funny, Jo.
Jo: Reporter's intuition?
Bernie: That's right, I still got it.
Jo: I'm looking for a fishing pole.
Bernie: Normal cast or fly type?
Jo: Fly fishing! Fly fishing!
Bernie: Nope, I've never had any luck fishing for flies.
Jo: Normal cast.
Bernie: Nope. I broke mine trying to reel in the mail from my mailbox. You know, It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Jo: I need a couple of toilet plungers.
Bernie: A couple?
Jo: Don't even ask.
Bernie: Well, I can give you one plunger. But uh... Not two. Of course, I'll need your help first.
Jimmy: Well, what a surprise. It's you. I've been hearing good things about you. How can I help?
Jo: Do you ever see any animals running around here?
Jimmy: Well, I once saw a talking rat who was running around telling jokes to the spare tires.
Jo: I can't imagine.
Jo: It helps just to know you're here, dealing with life's junk.
Jimmy: Your uh, expression of gratitude is causing me some uh, embarrassment.
Jo: Just keep up the good work.
Jimmy: I'll do my best.
Jo: I appreciate all your help.
Jimmy: Don't mention it. No, really. Don't mention it. Heh! To anybody. I got a reputation to uphold.
Jo: It'd help a lot if you had a couple of toilet plungers.
Jimmy: Heh! Well, that's the first time anyone's said that to me. [laughs]
Jo: It's the first time I've said it to anyone. How about it?
Jimmy: No, I haven't got any toilet plungers.
Jo: Does that mean you don't have any?
Jimmy: You are correct.
Jo: Well, I need a fishing pole. I don't suppose you'd have one?
Jimmy: Did you say fishing pole?
Jo: Hello! Is your hearing going?
Jimmy: Yeah, it's uh... it's working around this heavy equipment with no ear protection.
Jo: Yeah! Do you have one?
Jimmy: Have one? Hah! I got Big Bertha here, my favorite fishing pole. If you promise to take good care of her, I'll uh... lend it to you. But first, you've got to help me.
Maggie: I suppose I'll get no work done until I get something you need. So, what is it?
Jo: Have you made any great scientific discoveries today?
Maggie: I found an old bottle.
Jo: Oh, see. That proves people in the past were slobs as well.
Jo: What work do you get done anyway?
Maggie: I make the unorganized organized.
Jo: How... thrilling.
Maggie: Yes, I agree.
Jo: Your parents must be very proud.
Maggie: My parents do this, too.
Jo: I need to find a fishing pole.
Maggie: Ugh! When will this scavenger hunt of yours be over?
Jo: Hopefully soon.
Maggie: Yeah, let's hope.
Jo: It's not a scavenger hunt, I'm trying to stop a mad bomber from destroying the city.
Maggie: Uh huh! OK, yeah. And I'm trying to rid the world of space aliens who've come to eat our brains.
Jo: Well, I'm looking for a couple of plungers.
Maggie: If you need to use a bathroom, just go use the outhouse.
Jo: You use an outhouse?
Maggie: Uh... let's not talk about it.
Jo: I don't need a bathroom. I need a couple of plungers.
Maggie: Well, I have one I was using to hold my window open. You can have it, but I'll need your help first.
Jo: I've got all the goods. Now I need to get back to the steel mill.
Jo: What's it like working in a steel mill?
Dale & Nut Technician: Hot. Very hot.
Jo: Just checking.
Jo: How long will it take for the steel mill to cool down?
Dale & Nut Technician: Cool enough to walk across?
Jo: No, cool enough to sail a boat across.
Dale & Nut Technician: You making fun of me?
Jo: Yeah.
Dale & Nut Technician: It should be cooled off in a week or so.
Jo: Is there some way of getting up there to the bomb?
Dale & Nut Technician: What like with a remote controlled swing arm?
Jo: That'd be perfect! Where is it?
Dale & Nut Technician: We don't have one.
Jo: I suppose you don't have one?
Dale & Nut Technician: How right you are.
Jo: What's the situation?
Dale & Nut Technician: The situation is... WE'RE DOOMED!
Jo: You're an optimist, aren't you?
Dale & Nut Technician: Sure! The plant is half full... of molten steel!
Jo: Besides that.
Dale & Nut Technician: Oh, there's a bomb hanging from that beam way up above the melting tanks which were blown open. So now there's a lake of molten steel below. WE'RE DOOMED!
Jo: We couldn't let that happen in an educational product! Let's try that again.
Jo: [thinking] Uh-oh! The janitor's gone! I couldn't find him, I let him down, I failed! Maybe being a detective is too much work for me. Maybe tomorrow, I'll just turn the matter over to the authorities. Yeah, tomorrow.
[Jo turns the lamp off]
Dr. X: Just as I planned, to go home early is to underestimate your enemy. So, she thought you could outsmart me? How cute. Let's see how she feels when she finds out about my little surprise. [evil laughter]
B.F. Skinny: Quick! Oh, dear! OUT... OF... BREATH! [gasps] WE GOTTA STOP HIM! Dr. X is gonna blow up Martin and the broom guy at the dam! WE'VE GOT TO DO SOMETHING!
Jo: What do you mean?! How could he blow up the dam?! What's he doing?!
B.F. Skinny: How could he, he's insane! Last night, he blew up the pumping station so the water pressure is sky high! When he blows the dam, that amount of water will destroy the city! YOU'VE GOT TO STOP HIM!
Jo: He blew up the pumping station?! How do I stop him?! How can I?! Oh, it's all too big.
B.F. Skinny: There's a way, there's a way to divert the water. At least, that's what Martin was yelling when I left, but I didn't hear how. You've got to stop him, Jo. You're the only one who can beat him. [panting] I'm gonna go pack my bags, heh, not that I don't have complete faith in you. [laughs]
Jo: He's right. I've got to try. I've got to stop Dr. X!
Jo: I've got to get to the dam to stop Dr. X!
Jo: Well, there's the dam. Hmm, let's see. B.F. Skinny mentioned something about a way to divert the water away from the city. Maybe I should look around.
[clicking on Boulder Canyon Dam itself, instead of the switch]
Dr. X: [evil laughter]
[The timer reaches zero, the Boulder Canyon Dam explodes, Dr. X continues laughing evilly, and the water will flood the city]
Jo: [thinking] Maybe I should try that again.
[Reverses back to the beginning of the Boulder Canyon Dam, when Jo arrives to the Boulder Canyon Dam once again]
Jo: Well, there's the dam. Hmm, let's see. B.F. Skinny mentioned something about a way to divert the water away from the city. Maybe I should look around.
[clicking on the switch itself]
Jo: Ah-ha! A switch!
Janitor: Help!
Martin & Janitor: [screaming]
[Jo sees Martin and the Janitor with his broom tied down next to the bomb, the gears turning around to divert the water, Jo frees Martin and the Janitor, and reveals to see Dr. X]
Jo: Huh? [gasps] Huh? [laughs]
Dr. X: Well done, my young detective. But it is all for nought. For you shall not defeat the mighty Dr. X! [evil laughter]
[Jo, Martin, and the Janitor holding with his broom run for their lives, leaving Dr. X]
Dr. X: Give me the trophies! Give me all the trophies! I am the most powerful person in the world! Look at me, look at me! I'm glowing, I'm tall, I'm everything! [evil laughter]
Jo: [thinking] I can't just leave him there to be blown to bits. [gasps]
[Jo looks back, and sees that Dr. X has already mysteriously disappeared, Jo pants and sighs of relief, the timer reaches zero, the Boulder Canyon Dam explodes, and the water is diverted away from the city just in time]
[picture shot sound]
Narrator: Since his mysterious disappearance, Dr. X hasn't been seen or heard from. Who knows where he may strike again.
[picture shot sound]
Narrator: The doctor's ruthless henchmen returned to their regular jobs as busboys once the octopus were removed from their heads. They plan on opening a sushi restaurant someday.
[picture shot sound]
Narrator: The extrasensory octopus went on to graduate from Hoover University with teaching degrees. What do they teach? Marine biology, of course.
[picture shot sound]
Narrator: Martin, the lab assistant, after a stint of community service, obtained his PhD from Hoover University. Opting for a less stressful occupation, he now works for a major fireworks manufacturer.
[picture shot sound]
Narrator: Martin's uncle, the museum janitor, won the state lottery and is now a multimillionaire. In other words, he's still cleaning up.
[picture shot sound]
Narrator: After a falling out with the janitor, the broom went on a national tour ending with sold-out performances at Carnegie Hall. He's sweeping the nation.
[picture shot sound]
Narrator: Maggie Mead is still organizing her way through Boulder Canyon. What can I say, some things never change.
[picture shot sound]
Narrator: Jimmy doesn't like it when people talk about him, so let's move on.
[picture shot sound]
Narrator: Bernie returned to the Hoover Daily News where he won the Pulitzer prize for his in-depth article on bovine beverages and the duality of man.
[picture shot sound]
Narrator: B.F. Skinny became a talk show phenomenon, crossing the country to do show after show. Why the attraction? As he points out, Why not? I'm a talking rat.
[picture shot sound]
Narrator: Jo Hammet, 5th grade detective, received national attention and recognition for foiling Dr. X. But she didn't let it go to her head. She's finishing school, still fighting crime, and always on the trail of the elusive Dr. X!
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