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Hell's Kitchen/Season 8

season of television series
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Hell's Kitchen is an American cooking reality show based on the British program of the same title, where Chef Gordon Ramsay puts aspiring chefs through different challenges and dinner services to decide who is the best.

Episode One [8.01]

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[During the signature dish tasting]
Gordon: Okay, what is it?
Antonia: It's a Mardi Gras gumbo. [lifts the lid]
Gordon: Oh, God! And does it normally look like a plate of liquid shit?
Antonia: No. (interview) Every time I make my gumbo it always gets eaten, and everybody loves it. It's going to be good.
[Gordon samples the dish]
Gordon: [burp] Excuse me. [throws it up into the trash can] Fucking hell!
Antonia: [rolls eyes] Oh, God.
Gordon: Are you crazy? Have you tasted that?
Antonia: No, I didn't get a chance to taste it, chef.
[Gordon chokes briefly over the bin before continuing]
Gordon: So you cooked it, and you didn't even taste it?!
Antonia: I didn't have enough time. I'm so sorry you don't like it.
Gordon: Don't like it?!
Antonia: I'm sorry it wasn't up to par.
Gordon: Up to par?! It's inedible!
Antonia: [shrugs] Okay, then throw it out.
Gordon: No! I'm not going to throw it out! (to Raj) Big man!
Raj: Yes, sir!
Gordon: You like your food, take a mouthful. Pass it along.
[Raj samples the dish and passes it along to Rob, who also tastes it]
Rob: (interview) It was completely repulsive. I would rather have had a cat shit in my mouth than have eaten that any further!
[Vinny and Nona taste the dish, and also look disgusted]
Gordon: [reacting as if he got heartburn] Oh, shit!
Nona: (interview) Oh, my God. I don't even know how to explain that!
Gordon: Vinny! What does that taste to you of?
Vinny Accardi: A big bowl of mud.
[Sabrina brings the bowl back over to Ramsay, who throws it into the trash can]
Gordon: Dear, oh dear!
[Raj and Sabrina Brimhall are about to present their signature dishes]
Gordon: (to Raj) Nice suspenders. (they are both wearing suspenders)
Raj: Oh thank you. Sir, yes sir, Chef.
Gordon: Big boy, first name is...
Raj: Raj. (interview) I am an executive chef and I began cooking when I was 14 years old.
Gordon: Show me your dish.
Raj: (interview) I was always the best cook in the kitchen, so I can't see why this would be any different. [to Gordon] This is a seafood and vegetable pancake.
Gordon: My God! It's a what?
Raj: A seafood and vegetable pancake.
Gordon: Pancake?!
Raj: Yeah a pancake.
Gordon: What?! That is a pancake?
Raj: It's uh–Yeah.
Gordon: Does that look like a pancake?!
Raj: Mm-hmm.
Gordon: [tilts the plate allowing the grease from the pancake to drip down] Oh, it's going for a piss. A pancake that pisses. [tastes] It's a shame because the seafood actually tastes quite nice inside.
Raj: Oh, thank you.
Gordon: However, it looks a mess. Presentation's shocking.
[12:09AM; shot of red team members heading to bed]
Narrator: After hours of tedious cleaning, the women are ready to crash for the night. Meanwhile, the oldest chef, Raj... [Raj yells an Asian-sounding battle cry, causing Russell to glance at him] ...is ready to put on a show.
[Raj does tai-chi whilst stereotypical Asian music plays]
Russell: Oh, my God.
[Raj does some karate moves]
Rob: Holy shit, we gotta Mr. Miyagi! [Trev laughs]
[Shot of Raj downing a glass of champagne]
Raj: (interview) I start drinking, and I start doing karate... It's a bad habit.
[Raj screams and does a karate kick]
Curtis: (interview) Just kick it down a notch and let's put that energy towards your food!
[Raj does a karate kick and punch in Rob's direction, then does a spin. Vinny laughs]
Rob: Y'know, I'm gonna get out of the way.
Curtis: (interview) I thought he was about to have a damn heart attack!
[Raj does some more karate moves and raises his hands with a circular gap between them; a moon appears from the gap and transitions to the night sky]
[Gordon returns a salad to the workstation]
Gordon: All of you. ALL OF YOU, GET HERE!! Who dressed that?!
Trev: I did. [Gordon raises an overdressed piece of lettuce] Too much.
Gordon: "Too much"?! Did you honestly think they came here for that?!
Trev: No.
Gordon: We got worse now. We can't even dress a fucking salad! (throws the salad away) SALAD, TREV! LET'S GO!!
Trev: (interview) Who doesn't know how to make a salad? (points to himself) This guy!
[Gordon returns a salad to the workstation]
Gordon: All of you. ALL OF YOU, GET HERE!! Who dressed that?!
Trev: I did. [Gordon raises an overdressed piece of lettuce] Too much.
Gordon: "Too much?!" Did you honestly think they came here for that?!
Trev: No.
Gordon: We got worse now. We can't even dress a fucking salad! [throws the salad away] SALAD, TREV! LET'S GO!!
Trev: (interview) Who doesn't know how to make a salad? [points to himself] This guy!
Narrator: Thanks to Trev, no appetizers have left the blue kitchen.
Donald Schultz: We've had a long wait. Very bright.
James Lukanik: Apologies.
Narrator: The Red team however, have served half of their customers' appetizers. But some of them have not received their welcoming pizza.
Gordon: (with a pizza) Melissa.
Melissa Doney: Yes, chef?
Gordon: Touch that. Touch that. What is that?
Melissa Doney: It's raw, chef.
Gordon: It's what?
Melissa Doney: It's raw, chef.
Gordon: Touch that! It's raw, Melissa!
Melissa Doney: Yes, chef.
Gordon: It's raw! Come on!
Melissa Doney: Yes, chef.
Boris: [mocking Gordon] "It's rawww!!" [smiles] "It's fucking rawww!!"
Louis: (interview) Boris, what were you thinking buddy? You don't mock Gordon Ramsay.
Gordon: Boris.
Boris: Yes, sir?
Gordon: Come here.
Boris: Yes, sir.
Gordon: So I'm telling her about a raw pizza and you mimic me out in the back.
Boris: I'm sorry, chef.
Gordon: Yeah, so I'm telling her the pizza's raw, come here you. Fuck-face!
Boris: (interview) Oh, no!
Gordon: And there you go, you touch it then. Now look at me! Take the piss out of me now, fuck-face. What's your fucking crack?
Boris: I don't have any crack, chef.
Gordon: Yeah. What's your game?
Boris: I'm just here to cook, sir.
Gordon: Now look at me! You fucking take the piss out of me one more time in the middle of fucking service, yeah, kiss your fuckin' ass goodbye. Is that clear?
Boris: Understood chef.
Gordon: WAKE UP!!!
Boris: It will not happen again. (interview) I shouldn't have done that. I meant no disrespect. What can I say? I'm losing my mind.
Gordon: (to Boris) Just concentrate. Look at me, look at me. Just fucking concentrate.
Boris: Will do chef. Yes, sir.
[Gordon has found out that Trev has overdressed the salad again; returns the salad to the workstation]
Gordon: Trev!
Trev: Yes, chef?
Narrator: Trev's salad is once again seriously overdressed.
Gordon: Oh, my God!
Trev: Probably too much, chef.
Gordon: That's just on one fucking leaf, come on!
Trev: Yes, chef.
Gordon: Dress me a fucking SALAD!!! [violently throws the salad on the floor] Hey... fuck - you - all.
Louis: (interview) I almost wrapped my hands around his narrow neck. Salad! Salad! [shot of Trev remaking the salad] Get the salad out! Nothing's easier.
Trev: (brings up his salad) Here's that salad you're waiting on.
Gordon: Thank you.
Trev: You're very welcome.
Gordon: (to waiters) Service please? BLUE TEAM!
Blue team: Yes, chef?
Gordon: One hour and thirty minutes into service, that's the first table of appetizers gone!
Blue team: Yes, chef!
Gordon: Ohhh, fucking hell.
[Sabrina brings her meat to the pass]
Sabrina Brimhall: Here's the two beef and a lamb.
Nona: What is she doing?
Gordon: Two beef and a lamb, where's the halibut?
Sabrina Brimhall: No, I just wanted to bring this to you chef.
Gordon: You just what?
Sabrina Brimhall: I wanted to bring this to you chef.
Gordon: What?!
Nona: (interview; in a high pitch voice) Wha-- a-- Is this bitch crazy?!
Gordon: And where's the halibut, then? And where's the garnish? (to Gail) Are you ready?
Gail: No, chef. (interview) I told her not to bring the beef up because everything has come up at the pass together so that we can send the whole entire table together at the same time.
Gordon: Why are you throwing them under the bus?
Sabrina Brimhall: I'm not chef.
Gordon: So what the fuck is this doing here?!
Sabrina Brimhall: I'm sorry, chef. I cooked it for you chef. I don't know--
Gordon: What can I do with it?
Sabrina Brimhall: Nothing chef.
Gordon: Oh, fuck off. Hey, Baby Spice. As long as you're okay, right?
Sabrina Brimhall: No, chef.
Gordon: "Here's my food, fuck everybody else!" She doesn't fucking care.
Narrator: While Sabrina needs to get back in sync with her team, in the Blue kitchen, Chef Ramsay needs...
[Raj is standing at the pass writing orders to the kitchen]
Gordon: Raj! Help them, or fuck off!
Raj: [enters the Blue kitchen] (interview) It was fairly abusive on his part, but I'm a little bit worried about Chef Ramsay's, you know, karma.
Gordon: Russell, get off of there and let these two work as a team.
Russell: (interview) Boris and Raj are working together. It's like watching two idiots do a Rubik's Cube. There's no chance on Earth they're going to get it right.
Boris: Mozzarella cheese, I got the cheese. (To Raj) All I'm asking you is to please help me the roll the fucking dough.
Raj: Where the fuck is it?
Boris: It's here. First, shape it. Here. Put it here, put it down, shape it.
Raj: The dough's there, you can't roll it.
Boris: ROLL. The FUCKING. PIZZA DOUGH.
Raj: Here's more mozzarella. [starts slicing the mozzarella]
Boris: (To Raj) Th-- ROLL THE FUCKIN' PIZZA DOUGH! WHAT ARE YOU DOIN'?! Are you fuckin'-...? URRRGGGGHHHH!!! (interview) My partner was sent here to sabotage. That guy is fucking nuts.
Gordon: Why aren't you two working as a team?
Boris: We're doing the best we can chef.
Gordon: We're screwed on a fucking pizza.
[Gordon checks on halibut brought up by Lisa]
Gordon: Jesus. Lisa!
Lisa: Yes, chef?
Gordon: Come here! [returns the halibut to the workstation] It's sushi!
Lisa: Sorry, chef.
Gordon: Hey, madam. What's happening here?!
Lisa: (interview) It was a mess. I fucked up big time and I'm disappointed at myself.
[The customers have begun leaving. James returns to the pass]
James Lukanik: Chef, I got tables walking out. They've been here two hours chef.
Gordon: Fucking hell. Hey, ladies, come here. Hey, all of you, come here! LADIES! Move your fuckin' ass! BORIS!
Boris: Yes, chef!
Gordon: Look out there! Are you kidding me? Tables are leaving. No-one's even working together. No-one's even caring. You're (Sabrina) bringing me the main courses, bypassing your team. You (Boris) laughed at me earlier, pissing around with your fucking pizzas. And you (Raj) you've just switched off! Where do we go? No-one's even caring! FUCK OFF, is that clear?
Chefs: Yes, chef!
Gordon: Everything off. Clear down.
Gordon: Raj. Why should you stay in Hell's Kitchen?
Raj: Now that I'm more familiar with everything, I'll be able to jump in there and really cook the food correctly.
Gordon: Aren't you the most experienced chef in here?
Raj: Yes.
Gordon: You've been cooking longer than me!
Raj: Yes.
Gordon: Shit!
[During the elimination process]
Gordon: Sabrina, you are quite frankly the most selfish cook in here.
Sabrina Brimhall: Believe it or not, you don't know me and you don't know what I'm capable of, Chef. I made a mistake, I fucked up. Give me an opportunity to prove to you that I can do better, Chef. And honestly if it's between us two... I mean... I'm... she's spent, Chef... you know...I'm young.
Lisa: What was that? I'm spent? Spent? Are you kidding me? I will cook circles around you, honey. I may be 48, but believe me, you don't have a chance.
Gordon: Sabrina, who do you think who should go home?
Sabrina Brimhall: I think that Nona should go home, Chef. Her idea of fine dining is fried chicken, Chef. She can't cook asparagus. She snores and it keeps us all awake and I honestly believe she's good for nothing chef.
Gail: (whispering) That was low.
Gordon: She's crap, she can't cook asparagus, but she's not standing in your shoes there. Quite frankly all four of you (Lisa, Sabrina, Raj and Trev) should go.

Episode Two [8.02]

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[The chefs meet in front of Chef Ramsay]
Gordon: Good morning.
Chefs: Good morning, chef.
Gordon: Last night's service was memorable, [Red team members turn to Raj, who was breathing loud] for all the wrong reasons. [Gordon hears the breathing as well] Who's breathing? What is that? [Russell points to Raj] Are you okay?
Sabrina Brimhall: (interview) Raj was breathing a little bit creepy like, [imitates Raj's breathing; same as Jillian]
Vinny Accardi: (interview; also imitates Raj's breathing) And it sounded like a big jerk!
Gordon: Slow down!
Raj: Yes, chef.
[Raj and Russell present their sushi platter]
Gordon: Who did the nigiri tuna?
Raj: Me, chef! Raj, chef.
Gordon: Well, now I know it's Raj. (examines sushi piece Russell made) Nice. First tuna, in. [peels back the piece Raj made to show...] No wasabi. Out.
Boris: (interview) It's perfect, but...
Gordon: Wasabi, yes or no.
Raj: Yes.
Gordon: [drum roll; notices no wasabi on Raj's sushi] No!
Boris: (interview) ...you left out the wasabi! JACKASS!
Gordon: On order, four covers away, Table 23, yes? Two risotto, two scallops, entrée one chicken, three rib-eye.
Blue Team: Yes, chef!
Gordon: [sees Raj turning back without answering] You, come here. You're standing here next to me, I called it out and you just turned your fat arse around. You didn't even acknowledge me.
Raj: I'm-I'm here. Yes, chef. What do you need? I'm here.
Gordon: What do I need?! What did I just call out? (Raj doesn't answer) What did I just call out, Raj?! I'm talking to you!
Louis: (interview) The fact that Raj is 49 and still alive and not in jail or an asylum is a goddamn miracle.
Gordon: What did I just call out?
Raj: I didn't- I didn't catch it.
Gordon: Oh fuck me. Useless.
Narrator: Just over half an hour in the dinner service, Raj hasn't even begun cooking but has already disappointed Chef Ramsay.
Gordon: Curtis! (returns a sushi to the workstation)
Curtis: Working on it again chef.
Gordon: Yeah, fuck off. Gentlemen, gentlemen, GENTLEMEN!! Look at this! (points to some sushi) Fat fuck, fat fuck, fat fuck. Look at that there. Look at that. Look. Look at-- (to Curtis) come here you! It's not good enough for me. It's not good enough for me!
Curtis: Yes, chef. Working now chef.
Trev: (interview) Sushi's coming back. Seriously, you're not cooking anything.
Gordon: Do you think that I'm going to fucking send-- you can't even clean the fucking-- fuck off, Curtis! Fuck right off!
Narrator: It's 90 minutes into dinner service, and food has been ridiculously slow leaving the blue kitchen...
Vinny Accardi: (walking up the stairs to take a table's order) Hello guys.
Narrator: ...but Vinny has a plan to speed things up.
Vinny Accardi: (to the diners) I'm gonna be perfectly honest with you: you guys order sides, you're gonna be here till next Tuesday. (interview) I have zero confidence that Raj is getting out garnishes and sides.
Male diner: No sides.
Female diner: Yeah. (Vinny smiles and gives a thumbs-up)
Vinny Accardi: (interview) So I came up with a bit of a clever idea.
James Lukanik: (to the same diners that Vinny just waited on) How's the service this evening?
Female diner: We can't order sides...
James Lukanik: Why are you not allowed to order sides?
Female diner: Because I guess we can get our food quicker if we don't order sides?
James Lukanik: No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Um, let me go speak to the chef about this.
Gordon: (to Scott) Yeah, just check that. There's no sides on there, I don't know why.
James Lukanik: (to Vinny) Come over here! (to Gordon) Chef, one of his tables, he's telling them they could not have side orders because it takes too long to get it out of the kitchen.
Vinny Accardi: What I said was, I'd be happy to bring them to you...
Gordon: Shut up! Come in here!
Vinny Accardi: That is not what I told them.
Gordon: Why?
Vinny Accardi: That is NOT what I told them.
Gordon: What did you tell them?
Vinny Accardi: Exactly what I told them was this: I said "I'm telling you the truth. The sides are delicious, but it's going to take a lot longer if you want sides, so..."
Gordon: STOP EVERYBODY! Now Captain Vinny here is telling the customers not to order sides! (to Raj) Come here. Did you tell him not to order sides?
Raj: Of course not! Why would I say that?!
Gordon: Don't fucking shout at me, fuck-face! You told him that? "Don't push the sides, so I look good."
Raj: No, I'm ready with the sides! Look, I got all the sides ready, I'm waiting for them.
Gordon: So why's he not taking the orders?
Raj: I have no idea, but look at these sides, it's all ready! He's- he's- I'm- he's- okay...
Vinny Accardi: Do you want to know the truth?
Gordon: Yeah, I do want to know the truth!
Vinny Accardi: The truth is, I have no faith that he's going to be able to get the sides out.
Gordon: You'd better understand one fucking thing! You do NOT decide what goes out this kitchen!
Vinny Accardi: (mumbles) I don't know.
Gordon: GET OUT!
Vinny Accardi: Yes, chef.
Gordon: GET OUT, YOU!
[Gordon has found out that Melissa has fired garnishes for the wrong table]
Gordon: (to Melissa) Come here you. [reads a ticket] One salmon, one halibut, one chicken, one beef. Where's the wellington?
Melissa Doney: Wellington's coming up--
Gordon: Where's the wellington?
Melissa Doney: It's not on the window chef.
Gordon: It's for the next table.
Melissa Doney: Yes, chef. (interview) I just put up the wrong thing. I can't explain it. It's fucking embarrassing.
Gordon: You are about to sink your team. Now.
Melissa Doney: Focus chef.
Gordon: No, don't focus. Swap places with Jillian. Now fuck off!
Melissa Doney: Yes, chef. (to the Red team) Guys, I have to go out to the dining room. If you need--.
Gordon: Get out! Get out! Fuck the explanation! GET OUT!!
[Gordon checks on sushi brought up by Curtis; finds that there's no wasabi in it]
Gordon: (returns to the workstation) I've got the sushi now with no wasabis! (to Curtis) You: fuck off out of here!
Curtis: (interview; sulkily) Don't tell me to fuck off. Man, fuck that!
Gordon: I've had enough! I'VE HAD ENOUGH!!
[Curtis throws his apron into his anger]
Curtis: (interview) I tried my best at least, unlike some motherfuckers, at least I fucking tried! [to himself while walking back to the dorms] I put fucking wasabi on there, I swear to fucking God. (interview) Gimme a break! [takes off his hat] DAMMIT! [in the dorms with a cigarette] AAARGGHHH!
Narrator: As the number of Blue team members in the dorm is multiplying...
Gordon: Look at the fucking garnish.
Narrator: ...so are Raj's pans of garnish.
Gordon: (calling Raj) Come here. The big fucking sack of piss and wind. You're stacking up your garnishes, and it's getting longer, and longer, and longer, and longer. In about five minutes time, you'll have all those fucking garnishes right outside the kitchen! (Raj tries to protest) Shut up! GET OUT!
Raj: (interview) I don't know what to do. I mean, I don't know how to... I don't know. I don't know how to handle the situation, I mean...
Gordon: GET OUT! NOW!
Raj: (interview) I don't even know what the hell's going on or what happened or why. (returns to the dorm and puts his head inside the freezer)
Narrator: [shots of Raj with his head in the freezer and Curtis and Vinny in another part of the dorms] With three chefs from the blue team cooling off in the dorm...
Curtis: AAARGGHHH!
Louis: [brings up two Caesar salads] Two salads coming right now.
Narrator: ...the remaining team members are eager to show Chef Ramsay what they're capable of.
[After failed to serve the Blue team's first table; Gordon has had enough with it; returns to the workstation with two Caesar salads brought up by Louis]
Gordon: Come here, all of you!
Louis: Fuck!
Gordon: (one salad has more walnuts in it than the other) There's the walnuts on one, there's the walnuts on the OTHER! FUCK!!! (to the blue team) Hey, you, you, you! Hey, you! Come here! Hey, you! Come here! [leads the blue team to the washroom and kicks down the door straight out to the dorms] Get out. GET OUT!!!
Louis: (interview) Not only did he throw us all out of the kitchen. He led us out of the kitchen. (screenshot of Louis and the other blue team members in the dorms) This makes me feel like you're (shows his hand) this big.
Rob: Oh, we almost had that last fucking table.
Louis: The girls were calling out entrées for the last two hours. I didn't come here to look like an asshole two nights in a row, okay. We're going to do it again tomorrow if we don't -
Raj: Okay, fellas, yeah. Please, please, please, kids...
Louis: How dare you condescend me?! I'm 28 years old, I've been a professional in this industry for 14 years, I work in a camp and I work my fucking ass off!
Raj: Listen-
Louis: You're fucking fifty, how dare you fucking condescend to me, man? YOU STUPID FUCK!
Boris: (to Raj) Shut the fuck up.
Raj: Listen, listen!
Louis: How dare you condescend to me!
Vinny Accardi: BRO, YOU'RE FIFTY YEARS OLD AND YOU COULDN'T PICK PARSLEY!
Boris: (throwing a box at Raj) You're a fucking douchebag!
Vinny Accardi: (to Boris) No, bro!
Raj: You're attacking me, motherfucker! You're throwing shit at me!
Boris: Shut up. Fuck you, man.
Raj: Fuck you!
Boris: You're a waste of life. You're a fucking waste of life, Raj. Fuck you.
Raj: [flips Boris off] FUCK YOU, BITCH!! (interview) They just blame me because I'm an easy target for them. You know, here I am, I'm in that snake pit, and I'm the mongoose, and the mongoose is trying to fight the cobra. (To his teammates) Listen! If you guys wanna get out of this, you listen to me, okay?
Vinny Accardi: Okay, yeah. Tell us how- show us what we gotta do to do a better job.
[Gordon addresses both teams and blue team declared losers in the dinner service]
Gordon: Men, you lost. Vinny decided that it was a bright idea to tell the customers, "Don't order sides, because the kitchen can't deliver." How dare you? That's my decision, and not yours. None of you are here to kiss my ass, but I expect some FUCKING RESPECT!!
[The Blue team nominated Raj and Boris for elimination, Chef Ramsay also nominated Vinny]
Gordon: Boris, Raj. Step forward. Unbelievable! [brief pause] Wait a second. Somebody else needs to be up here. [another brief pause] Vinny, step forward! [Vinny stands in between Boris and Raj] I am PISSED! You have no right to recommend to the guests not to have a side with an entrée!
Vinny Accardi: After my first table waited nearly two hours for their appetizers, I just wanted them to have an opportunity to experience some of your food. That's what they came here for.
Gordon: Entrées on that menu are designed to go with sides! Is that clear?!
Vinny Accardi: Yes, chef.
Gordon: Raj, why should you stay in Hell's Kitchen?
Raj: I should stay in Hell's Kitchen, chef, Because I am being falsely accused and I'm getting more familiar with everything and it's going to be good and it just need a little more time I'm a slow learner.
Gordon You're forty-fucking-nine! I need a fast learner!
Raj: Yes, chef.
[After Curtis was eliminated for his terrible performance on sushi]
Gordon: Get a good night's sleep, because seven of you need to fight back. Quickly!
Blue team: Yes, chef!
Gordon: Now FUCK OFF!
Gail: (interview) The blue team should get used to getting their asses kicked. They're like little dominoes and the red team is gonna knock each one of them out. (laughs)
Boris: (interview) I'm there scrambling trying to save my fucking guys' asses and they threw me under not only the bus. They threw me under the train, the plane, the helicopter, and the... fucking buggy.
Raj: (interview) I know that the guys in my team are shitting in their pants knowing that Raj is going to destroy them. [gets up and points to the camera] I'M HERE TO STAY, WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT, 'CAUSE I AM THE BEST! [falls off his interview chair] WHAAAOW! [climbs back up to the chair] HAAA!
Gordon: [to himself, after everyone has returned to the dorms] God! (voiceover) Curtis might have been a good old boy, but unfortunately, he wasn't good at cooking.

Episode Three [8.03]

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Rob: (interview after Raj escaped elimination) I'm more shocked that that lunatic is still here.
Raj: (interview) EEEYOW! WOOAAOOAAOOAAOOAAOOH!!! WHOO! ALL RIGHT! Thank you, Lord, thank you, Jesus! WOO! I'M FEELIN' GREAT! Now I'm DEFINITELY going to win this competition now. I know it! (to Vinny) Wheel of karma, baby! You can't get off, these hands are tied.
Vinny Accardi: Raj, Raj, Raj. Please.
Raj: You have malice, you know what I mean? I don't have evil designs. I don't lie. I tell the truth!
Vinny Accardi: I didn't lie either.
Raj: For you to tell the customers in the dining room not to order food because I'm working it? I mean, that is sick.
Vinny Accardi: (interview) I did not tell those customers "do not order sides." (beat) I highly recommended it. (to Raj) I want to win a restaurant.
[It is 2:18 AM and Raj is still celebrating his survival of elimination]
Raj: WOO!!! I'M WINNING THIS MOTHERFUCKING THING!!! [the other chefs attempt to shush him]
Trev: Deep breaths, deep breaths.
Raj: (interview) I know that the guys on my team have absolutely no chance, so they're doing anything they can to get rid of me. (to the chefs) Lie, don't die!
Vinny Accardi: The guy is here to be an anchor to us. We're gonna have to learn to work with him.
Trev: Somebody's gotta get him in line and you guys aren't getting through at all, he seems to listen to me.
Boris: Raj listens to you?
Trev: Yeah I don't know, I'm one of the few guys who hasn't yelled or screamed at him. (interview) If I can just get Raj to focus, I will. [shot of Raj doing tai-chi in the bedroom] We need to learn to work with the tools that we're given, and he just happens to be one of those tools. (to Vinny, Rob, and Boris) You have to handle him with gloves though, his... [points to his temple]
Raj: [in the background] WHAAAAOW!!! [Vinny chuckles]
Rob: We gotta get this guy to work somehow.
Boris: You can't.
[During the breakfast cooking challenge]
Scott Leibfried: We haven't sent one table yet!
Gordon: Raj, where's the scrambled egg?
Raj: Okay. (brings his scrambled eggs to the pass)
Gordon: (tastes) Hey guys, guys. Come here. All of you, come here! Quick! Hurry up! (pushes Raj out of his way) Get out of the way. Get out of the way. Oooh, get out of the way. Taste it. Taste it. Taste it, taste it, taste it, taste it! Not an OUNCE of seasoning!
Raj: What do you—?!
Louis: We're doing it again! Don't argue with chef!
Trev: (interview) Don't talk back to chef. He says something, you say "Yes, chef" and move on. That's it.
Gordon: Say that again? Hey, say that again? Say–say–don't spit fucking scrambled egg in my face! Say that again?! Say that again?!
Raj: Yes, chef.
Gordon: There's not an ounce of fucking seasoning in there. These guys save lives for a living, yeah, and you're about to fuck up their breakfast. Got it?
Raj: Yes, chef! (interview) Chef Ramsay's like "Oh, my God! THERE'S NO SALT! THERE'S NO PEPPER!" and I'm like "What the–?" (to his teammates) Go ahead, go ahead, go! Go! (interview) I thought I seasoned it, chef, correctly. But no. Obviously I didn't.
Gordon: Why's he cooking scrambled egg when he can't even season it?
Raj: (interview) I tried to make some sense out of this intense chaos. [goes into the pantry and puts his head in the refrigerator] I got to cool off somehow. (interview) I tried to clear my head by sticking my head in the refrigerator... but I couldn't.
Gordon: RAJ, MOVE YOUR FAT FUCKING ASS!! (to blue team) Somebody take control, please!!
[After losing the breakfast challenge, the blue team has to clean glasses as part of their punishment]
Trev: Don't be scared, Raj! Jump in!
Raj: I was.
Trev: Everybody's polishing. You're just kinda standing there. You're blowing it with me over here. The one guy who had your back, and you're blowing it!
Raj: Oh, please! (interview) Trevor, he's–he's really not a nice person, and... he's also being very mean!
Louis: (to Raj) What do you want us to do with you?
Raj: Just leave me alone! (interview) I'm a professional chef. I'm working with a bunch of kids! I'm in a situation where it's me versus them.
Trev: [inspects glass Raj just cleaned] Water marks. (chuckles) Water marks! Raj, seriously? I mean, can you not see that? Are you gonna look?
Russell: Just do his glasses over.
Trev: That's not fair!
Russell: Just do it over!
Raj: (to the guys) This is harassment now.
[Russell and Rob laugh hysterically at Raj]
[During the Blue team's punishment; Trev finds some haphazardly-wrapped loaves of bred]
Trev: Raj? Raj? Just give up halfway?
Raj: No, I just wanted to cover it.
Trev: Give me the fucking wrap. (interview) I've tried everything I can with this big, dumb animal and it's just–it's frustrating. It's tiring. (to Vinny) It's bullshit that he's even still here.
Raj: Hey, hey, hey, hey. Wait.
Vinny Accardi: You might have been cooking the longest. Obviously, you've cooked in shit restaurants for the last 30 years.
Raj: Unfair.
Trev: What's unfair about it?! You suck!
Vinny Accardi: And you tanked us.
Raj: You guys are going to keep going with it?
Trev: Yes! Until it gets through that thick skull of yours!
Raj: (interview) Trevor's harassing me for no reason, and he's being more of a problem than a solution. (to Trev and Vinny) You guys seem to be targeting me in a vicious fashion. You got something about me, because I'm older?
Trev: Go home, Raj! Just go home. Go home and stuff yourself with Twinkies so you have a fucking heart attack on your recliner!
Raj: Oh, so now you're going to make fun of my weight?
Trev: We got to figure out what you're good at. You got to be good at something, right? Aside from sleeping and fucking eating and running your goddamn jaw. You got to be good at something! Mr. "I'm a chef and I'm almost 50. I got more experience than everybody." What the fuck have you done so far?! You're fucking dilly-dallying in the fucking pastry section, and the shit you've cooked doesn't even work–
Raj: Shut up! [Snaps and gets in Trev's face] SHUT UP!! SHUT UP!! SHUT THE FUCK UP!!
Trev: Or what?
Boris: Guys, guys, guys! Come on!
Raj: I said shut up! Just shut up!
Trev: Or what?!
Raj: Fuck all you motherfuckers! YOU GUYS ARE A BUNCH OF SNAKES! [to Trev] YOU FUCKIN' SNAKE! (interview) I'm being targeted, I'm being harassed, and I'm really at the point where I don't know what to do!
Boris: Raj, can I have a word with you?
Raj: I'm tired, dammit!
Boris: Just one minute? Listen to me. Listen to me. Raj, please! Raj! Raj! [takes Raj into the hallway] We need listen and work together! (interview) I don't want to see anybody getting hurt. I don't want to see anyone throwing it off, because we need every man on our team. Including Raj.
[Russell comes into the hallway as Boris calms Raj down]
Boris: You gotta listen to me. You alright? (interview) But... that guy is fucking nuts!
[The chefs meet in front of Chef Ramsay]
Gordon: Raj, haven't given up on you. However, push it tonight.
Raj: Yes, chef.
Gordon: Come back.
Raj: Yes, chef.
Gordon: And stay out the fucking fridge.
[flashback to where Raj sticks his head in the fridge during the team challenge]
Raj: Yes, chef.
[James returns to the pass with appetizers]
Gordon: What's wrong with that?
James Lukanik: Red team, salty.
Gordon: Oh, dear. (returns to the workstation) Ladies.
Jillian: Yes, chef?
Gordon: Now it's coming back, salty! (tosses the plate on the workstation) Wow!
Narrator: While the blue team...
Gordon: Salmon!
Raj: The salmon's ready.
Narrator: ...has moved on to entrées.
Raj: And it's perfect! (interview) I have personally cooked thousands and thousands and thousands of pieces of salmon in my life.
[Raj brings his salmon to the pass, Gordon checks it; finds that it's floating in a brown liquid]
Gordon: What's that in there? Wh-what...?
Scott Leibfried: That's not grilled.
Gordon: Oh, dear. Raj! What's that? What is that stock he's putting in that salmon?
Vinny Accardi: It's supposed be grilled, dude.
Raj: Yeah, I grilled it, and then I finished it with a little bit of sauce.
[Gordon tastes some of the liquid in the pan, then spits it out in disgust]
Russell: No sauce, bro. [Gordon drains the contents of the pan onto Raj's worktop and drops the pan] C'mon, get another one going, bro!
Raj: (interview) My personal techniques are not working for Chef Ramsay.
Gordon: Disgusting!
Raj: (interview) He's the chef, it's his opinion, and I have zero opinion.
Scott Leibfried: Start over.
Narrator: Raj's cooking techniques aren't cutting in with Chef Ramsay. And in the Red kitchen...
Gordon: (with an overcooked Dover Sole) Melissa, it's overcooked!
Narrator: ...neither are Melissa's.
Gordon: Out it comes, look at that. Overcooked on the bottom, crispy as fuck, and it looks like Gandhi's flip-flop! (drops the Dover Sole) What a shame!
Jillian: (interview) I don't know where he comes up with this stuff! Gandhi didn't even wear flip-flops, he lived in the jungle, I don't think the dude even had shoes.
Gordon: Look it underneath! [knocks his hand on the workstation]
Melissa Doney: (interview) Shit!
Narrator: As Melissa starts over with her Dover sole, guests on both sides of the dining room continue to wait, but not for long. In the blue kitchen...
Gordon: Where's the salmon?!
Raj: T-two seconds.
Narrator: Raj is ready with his second attempt on the salmon.
Gordon: Two seconds! One, two!
Raj: I mean uhm, thirty sec-I mean, uhm, one minute.
Narrator: Well... almost ready.
Gordon: Just concentrate. I don't want a blah-blah-blah.
Raj: I'm sorry to say that, but it's true.
Gordon: What a fucking bozo!
Raj: Here it is. Here it is. [brings his salmon to the pass, Gordon checks it; finds that it's raw]
Gordon: Oh, dear. Raj! Come here you. It's, raw. [angrily smashes the raw salmon] It's fucking RAW!!!
Boris: (interview) Come on, man!
Gordon: IT'S RAW!!!
Boris: (interview) The guy can't change his underwear the right way.
Gordon: We haven't even served the fucking entrée, but I need to get food out!
Boris: Oh, boy. Here we go.
Raj: Chef, can I—would you mind if I said something, chef, or no?
Gordon: [plugs his ears] Not to me, you're not.
Rob: No, don't say a damn thing. Just finish your tickets.
Raj: You know the salmon I gave you that you smashed, right? (interview) I'm not this timid man who's just going to sit back and just say, "Okay, chef." [to Gordon] You know, I'm going to try to make a case for myself. Really, chef, really.
Gordon: We're in the middle of service right now and I just want food. SHUT IT!
Raj: (interview) But, um... it's-it's hard. (to his team mates) I got it now. Go ahead! Go, go!
Gordon: Hey, what do you think this is? A talk show?!
Raj: No, no.
Gordon: COOK YOUR FUCKING DISH, AND SHUT YOUR FAT MOUTH!!
Raj: Yes, chef.
Gordon: Vinny, get a piece of salmon on there, yes?
Vinny Accardi: Yes, chef. (interview) Raj just cannot cook at all, anything, ever. (to Russell) Give me a time. (interview) So I have to go over and do it for him. (brings Raj's salmon to the pass) Hot behind, salmon on the pass.
Gordon: Perfect, let's go.
Narrator: Thanks to Vinny, Raj's salmon is finally on its way out to the dining room.
Boris: Chef, hold on. (on his wellingtons) It's raw.
Gordon: Oh, come on.
Boris: I can't give you raw meat. I'm sorry chef.
Narrator: Thanks to Boris, no food is leaving the Blue kitchen.
Scott Leibfried: There you go, send it back.
Narrator: But thanks to Raj, none of them are going to waste.
[Raj starts eating the leftover fish]
Raj: (interview) I see all this food, and it looks delicious, so I just, you know, ate it.
Boris: Raj, please don't do that.
Gordon: Look, he's eating it, look! Haven't you got enough in there?
Raj: But that's so good! It's really a waste.
Gordon: Wow!
Raj: No. I mean — just a quick little bite. It's really tasty.
Gordon: Ah, fucking hell.
Raj: (interview) How could Chef Ramsay blame me for eating this delicious food? It's fantastic.
Narrator: While Raj has snack time in the blue kitchen over in the Red kitchen, Gail... [cuts to Gail staring in space]
Gordon: Gail!
Narrator: ...has nap time.
Gordon: Wakey-wakey! (sees Gail's meat pan catching fire) You're on fire.
Nona: (interview) Oh, my God! There's flames shooting up! And Gail was (sticks her tongue out in disgust) nothing. Nothing's happening.
Gordon: Gail, out the way! Oh my God. [removes the pan off the burner and throws it into the sink; gets the burnt rib-eye beef] Gail, I think your pan's a bit too hot. [throws the rib-eye back in the sink] You've lost it.
Gail: I haven't lost it.
Gordon: Yes, you - look, you've given up. Body language, face, attitude, you've given up. Anyone that can stand there, and watch a piece of rib-eye beef SET ON FIRE is out of control! You've given up.
Narrator: Back in the blue kitchen...
Raj: Up to the pass with the halibut. (brings his halibut to the pass)
Narrator: Raj is eager to finally impress Chef Ramsay.
Gordon: Sorry about the delay, let's go.
Raj: (interview) HIIYYYYAAAHHHH! HAH!
Narrator: Maybe, a little too eager.
Gordon: [finds that Raj has cooked three other Dover soles] How many have you cooked? One, two, three. Oh my God.
Raj: (interview) When I get busy, I just start firing everything. So when they need it, I got it.
Gordon: What are you doing? Playing the odds? Maybe one will be good out of three?
Raj: (interview) But this is Chef Ramsay's kitchen, you can't do that.
Gordon: Why would I try to fire three tables?
Raj: Uhm, yes. Uhm...
Gordon: (disgusted) Donkey.
Vinny Accardi: Dude, you can't serve this to anybody. He's not going to take that. (interview) Raj cooks three Dover soles before they were even remotely close to... to needing them.
Gordon: SOLE SPECIAL!
Raj: Chef, we ran out of the sole special.
Gordon: What... [reaches for a ticket] I've got three on OR-DER?!?!
Louis: (interview) We ran out of Dover sole? Oh, man. This is going to be real ugly.
Gordon: Oh, no... [goes near the door and sits in fetal position]
Boris: (interview) This sucks. Embarrassing! Fuck!
Raj: (interview) It's a very bad situation. I don't know what we're going to do. I think we have to figure something out quickly.
Gordon: [to Raj] Get out there and tell them you're dragging two! And you go to the customers and tell them you fucked it up!
Raj: I need another jacket, though. I can't go out there with this jacket.
Gordon: Hey come—come here you. If I tell you to get out there, I don't give a fuck if you've got a thong on your fat crack, get out there!
Raj: I can't, with this thing. I can't, I'm sorry, chef.
Gordon: Hey, hey, listen. Fuck off out there, will you?
Raj: [removes his apron and goes over to Chef Scott] I can't put this—
Scott Leibfried: PUT IT DOWN, AND GET OUT THERE!!!
Raj: [leaves the kitchen and goes to the diners to apologize] (interview) Couple of things are going to my head. [talks to hungry diners] Hi, my name is Raj. (interview) My God, look at this, I'm a star. [talks to the diners again] I'm terribly sorry, but we ran out of the sole special. (interview) Then the next thing you know, look at this, I'm an idiot. So it's this elation and then this degration. All at the same time. [to the diners] We have other nice fish, though, if you'd like to try that instead.
[The red team lost the night's service; they have nominated Emily and Sabrina for elimination]
Gordon: Sabrina, tell me very quickly, why you should stay in Hell's Kitchen.
Sabrina Brimhall: I don't think that I should go home. I shouldn't be here, Melissa should be here. Who has been consistently horrible? The executive chef, right there! Emily, yeah, she fucked up and she sucks, but at least she hasn't done as horribly as Melissa.
Gordon: Take a big, deep breath. I want to know why you think you should stay in Hell's Kitchen, yeah? You.
Sabrina Brimhall: I'm here to learn, and I'm here to grow. I have bigger balls and more determination than any of these fucking girls here! All of them put together chef!
Gordon: Okay, this is a very difficult decision. The person leaving Hell's Kitchen is... [a pause, then points to the blue team, who won the night's service] Raj. Get your arse over here. [Raj stands up and goes to Gordon, while the assembled Red and Blue team members laugh at him] You, big boy, are out of your league, big time. And I personally can't go an inch further. Jacket. [Raj hands over his jacket, then goes in the direction of Gordon's office; Gordon points him to the actual exit] There's the door there, big boy.
Raj: [outside the restaurant] I can't believe it. It's just a shock. I didn't get along with anybody. I didn't get along with Chef Ramsay. I didn't get along with Scott. I didn't like the menu. But it was a great experience. I had a great time, and I'm really glad I did it.
Gordon: [to the blue team] Relieved?
Vinny Accardi: Oh, man. That was like a reward, bro. Thank you.
Gordon: When the going gets tough in the kitchen, a chef puts his head down and cooks. All Raj wanted to do was put his head in the freezer and that's why his stay in Hell's Kitchen was a short one.

Episode Four [8.04]

edit
Gordon: (to Melissa) So three three's are what?
Melissa Doney: [while cooking ravioli] Six.
Gordon: (shakes his head) Oh...
Melissa Doney: Oh, three three--nine! Yes!
Gordon: And you've got-- hey, come here you. Come here. Three three's are six?
Melissa Doney: No--I was counting the pans, chef. I'm sorry.
Gordon: Yeah, I'm watching you like a hawk. Do you know why? You can't even count to nine. You scare me.
Gail: (interview) What the fuck is she doing over there? Melissa can't handle it.
Gordon: Two three's are six. Three three's are what?
Melissa Doney: Nine.
Gail: (interview) Do you want me to come over there and cook for you?
Gordon: Right now, get it together, and we need to focus!
Melissa Doney: Yes, chef.
[James returns to the pass with pizza]
James Lukanik: Blue team, Table 3.
Gordon: [finds that the pizza is burnt on the bottom; returns and slams the pizza on Rob's station] Come on, chunky monkey! I trusted you. I don't need to turn your pizzas upside down. When it's fucking burnt, don't send it! [gives the pizza to Rob] In fact, you know what? Fuck off to the bar, eat the pizza. Get out, eat it, and come back!
Rob: (interview) Come on, get over yourself. It's the last thing I wanted to do while my team's getting pummeled, and it's so degrading. [goes into the bar and eats the burnt pizza]
Gordon: (to Louis) You can't fucking cook a pork chop, he (Rob) cremates a fucking pizza!
Trev: (interview) I don't know if that was really a punishment for Rob. I mean, come on. Chef Ramsay sends the fat guy to the bar to go eat his own burnt pizza.
Rob: [eats burnt pizza at the bar] Fucking humiliating bullshit.
Gordon: One chicken, one pork chop!
Louis: Five minutes chef.
Gordon: (holds the tickets) He's trying to propose to his future fiancée!
Louis: Yeah.
Gordon: Move, Louis!
Louis: Yes, chef.
Gordon: You'll may make them break up before they get married!
Louis: Thirty seconds, cutting pork now. (interview) Once you get behind out something it can't let things get to you. I am just hitting my strive and ready to rock. (on his pork chop) The pork is fucking pink! Chef Scott?
Scott Leibfried: What?
Louis: [carries the pork in his hands] I fucked the pork and it's pink. It's pink chef.
Scott Leibfried: You can't even put it on a pan, you god damn slob?! You're going to walk around with a pork chop in your hands like that?! GET IT IN THE FUCKING OVEN!!!
Louis: Yes, chef.
Scott Leibfried: (to Louis) You walk around like a pig, what kind of slob are you?
Trev: (interview) Seriously, WHAT THE FUCK?!
Gordon: All of you, come here!
Louis: Fuck!
Gordon: ALL OF YOU!!! You fucking go on a reward, you take advantage, you come back and you perform like FUCKING IDIOTS!!
Louis: Yes, chef.
Gordon: GET A GRIP!!
Louis: Yes, chef.
Gordon: Or FUCK OFF!!
Louis: Yes, chef!
Gordon: (to Boris) Can you stop washing pans?
Trev: Boris!
Rob: (interview) Wow, Boris! What the fuck!
Gordon: This is a fucking kitchen!! I'M TRYING TO FUCKING RUN A GODDAMN RESTAURANT!!!
Boris: Yes, chef.
Gordon: Come here you! [leads Boris to the washroom] You want to wash pans?! Get down there! Fuck off will you?! Do it full-time! Get on there! What a muppet.
Boris: (interview) I've never been kicked out of the kitchen in my life and it's all my fucking fault.
Gordon: LA Market is not looking for a fucking head chef in PANS!
[after Russell failed to bring the polenta for the pork, Gordon has had it]
Gordon: All of you, just stop! You make yourself look so stupid. And look, the food dying. It's like a funeral in here. Do me one big favour: Get out. GET OUT! We'll (himself, Scott and Andi) cook. Get out. Andi, Scott, let's go [The women and the remaining men leave the kitchen]
Trev: (interview) Let's throw a whole bunch of chicks in to the mix and maybe it'll make everything all better. No, it made it worse, too many cooks in the kitchen man!

Episode Five [8.05]

edit
[During the blue team’s punishment; they’re tasked with decorating the dining room for a Prom for students at Beverly Hills High School]
Bennett (Prom Committee Member 1): Russell, you have to put the colored one down before the film.
Russell: Colored what?
Bennett: The colored...
Rae'anna (Prom Committee Member 2): See, this teamwork is exactly what helps in the kitchen, right? Like teamwork in the kitchen?
Russell: Yo. Don’t talk about the kitchen, ‘cause you guys don’t know shit about the kitchen.
Bennett: How about you not give us attitude?
Russell: Are you kidding me? We’re doing this for you. How about you back up a little bit? (interview) This is not a joke. I’m not here to play with little kids. They’re pushing me to the limit! (to the Prom committee) I’m not doing this for my fifteen minutes of fame. I’m doing this for a fucking career, so step off!
Rae'anna: Watch your language!
Russell: Watch my language? (to the Prom committee) I’M A GROWN ASS MAN.
James Lukanik: Hey, guys. Come on. These are clients of Hell’s Kitchen. Stop being disrespectful! Get on with the job, get it done, and show a little bit of respect. Alright?
Trev: (to the Prom committee) Why don’t you guys just keep going through me? These guys are just frustrated. (interview) For Russell to blow up like that; unacceptable. Up and down the board, unacceptable.
[Gordon checks on crab cakes brought up by Emily]
Gordon: Crab cake, aiyayay. (returns to the workstation) Excuse me! All of you, come here! This is what you've just served me! Just look at that, look. They're not even crispy, touch that on top. They're soggy. THEY'RE SOGGY!! It's like I've eaten it and sent it back!
Jillian: (interview) The only thing Emily had to make is crab cakes. My 6-year old could do this.
Emily: Give it back. I'll make new ones.
Gordon: OH, MY GOD!!
Emily: Yes, chef.
Gordon: (to Jillian) Jillian, three fucking salad, fresh!
Jillian: Okay, chef. (interview) Emily sucks.
Narrator: Meanwhile, in the Blue kitchen...
Gordon: Boris? How many crab cakes have you got in the pan?
Boris: Ten altogether chef.
Narrator: Boris is getting a little ahead of himself.
Gordon: There's only two away and you just cook me ten. Boris?
Boris: Yes, chef?
Gordon: I fired two, I got ten. Is this the sign of things to come?
Russell: (interview) Boris started firing like a gang-bang on crab cakes. It is like, "dude, learn to count."
Gordon: Look at me! We'll do one table at a time, it's not a race! Common sense, gentlemen!
Boris: Yes, chef. Understood.
Gordon: Fresh crab cakes, let's go!
Narrator: While Boris is now cooking his crab cakes to order, in the Red kitchen, Melissa has already moved onto entrées.
Gordon: [sees Melissa pulling out a tray full of filets from the oven] What in the fuck...
Narrator: Unfortunately, her team is not even close to completing the appetizers.
Gordon: Melissa.
Melissa Doney: Yes, chef?
Gordon: WHAT IS THAT?! ALL OF YOU, come here!
Nona: (interview) Melissa had put in a huge pile of filets in the oven. Apps weren't even done yet. I don't even know what to do in this situation.
Gordon: We've sent three tables of appetisers, and you're sticking all the beef in the oven!
Sabrina Brimhall: (interview) Why the hell would you do that? I wouldn't even do that.
Gordon: Do you want to go home? Why don't you make my life easier and just fuck off home? You can't be normal! (starts counting the filets) 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6...
Jillian: (interview) Oh, my God!
Gordon: ...7, 8, 9, 10, 11...
Jillian: (interview) Stupid!
Gordon: ...12, 13, 14, 15, 16...
Nona: (interview) Oh, HELL no!
Gordon: ...17, 18, 19, 20, 21...
Emily: (interview) What the hell are you doing, lady?
Melissa Doney: There's 23 on the board, chef.
Gordon: SO WHAT?! WHY ARE YOU COOKING THEM NOW?! (no response from Melissa) Nona, WHY?!
Nona: I don't know, chef.
Gordon: It doesn't make sense! They're gone, they're overcooked.
Melissa Doney: Yes, chef.
Gordon: I can't do it anymore with you. You need a system! THERE'S NO SYSTEM!!! I CAN'T KEEP ON TELLING YOU EVERY FUCKING SERVICE!!! [slams the table]
Melissa Doney: Yes, chef. (interview) Sometimes, I just go stupid. But I'm better than this. I just have to show Chef Ramsay that I have what it takes.
Gordon: Madness!

Episode Six [8.06]

edit
[Gordon asks for scallop salad in the Blue kitchen]
Gordon: Melissa, scallop salad, how long?
Melissa Doney: I'm all out of scallops chef.
Gordon: What?!
Melissa Doney: I cooked the shit out of all the scallops. I fucked the team chef.
Gordon: What the fuck are we doing? (gets the rejected scallops on Melissa's station) Oh, my God...
Russell: That's all the scallops!
[Gordon pours all the scallops on one plate]
Rob: Oh, my God.
Gordon: Just come here, all of you. Stop. All of you, Vinny! (gives the plate of scallops to Russell) Take the plate, take the fucking plate! Pass it around!
Russell: Seven pounds of scallops.
Vinny Accardi: (interview) She just can't cook.
Rob: (interview) Melissa must have cooked about ten pounds of scallops, all cooked off to the garbage.
Melissa Doney: (interview) It is just fucking embarrassing.

Episode Seven [8.07]

edit
James Lukanik: [gives Gordon a ticket] It's your family.
Gordon: Here we go. On order: six covers, table one.
Blue team: Yes, chef!
Gordon: Three wings, one mozzarella, one risotto, one truffle salad.
Boris: Yes, chef!
Gordon: My family!
Boris: (interview) We better get this fucking order right.
Boris: Let's go, guys yes?
Russell: Three wings, one mozz is coming chef. Vinny, are you ready on the risotto?
Vinny Accardi: No, no.
Gordon: Vinny, I need the fucking risotto! What are you doing?
Vinny Accardi: (interview) I can't sit there and [waves his hands] go like this and have my risottos' magically finish.
Gordon: Hurry up Vinny! We've got to go up now!
Vinny Accardi: Yes, chef. (interview) I grabbed the risotto I had just sent up for the previous table. There's nothing wrong with it.
Vinny Accardi: Yo, I'm going up with the risotto, guys!
Gordon: No, that's not fair. That's old! Trying to get away. Hey bozo, come here you.
Vinny Accardi: Yes, chef. What happened?
Gordon: Shut your fat East-Coast mouth.
Vinny Accardi: Yes, chef.
Gordon: This table that you just sent me that shit for happens to be my family!
Boris: (interview) Oh, no. What are you doing?
Gordon: And even if it's not my family, they deserve a fresh risotto. Look at me--
Vinny Accardi: Yes, chef.
Gordon: --you dirty little fucker! If you can't be bothered to do it, fuck off out of here! Do you want to go home? Whether it's my family or not, if your family were here, or your family were here, or your family, I'd make YOUR family or YOUR wife or YOUR children a fresh FUCKING risotto! He sneaks that in there. Yeah. That's the shit I served five minutes ago!
Rob: Okay, refire guys!
James Lukanik: Everybody's really happy, apart from your family.
Gordon: Apart from my family? Come on, Vinny!
Vinny Accardi: (interview) Yes, chef. Sorry, chef, won't happen again. That's all he wants to hear and I'll fix it.
Gordon: IT'S MY FAMILY'S ORDER! One salmon, one beef, one macaroni and cheese, one bolognese, two burgers.
Boris: Let's go, guys. Let's make it happen.
Narrator: The men are scrambling to get entrees out to chef Ramsay's family.
Russell: Chef, I'm coming up with the salmon.
Boris: Two beef coming up to the pass. Two burgers, one bolognese up.
Gordon: Where's the macaroni (and cheese), please?
Rob: All right, I'm a little behind right now on garnish.
Gordon: Oh, COME ON.
Rob: (interview) I am in the weeds so high, I don't know which way is up. (sighs)
Rob: When are we gonna get a little help on this garnish, man?
Russell: As soon as I can breathe.
Rob: (interview) Russell claims he was in the weeds and couldn't get to me. What did Russ do-- a few chicken fingers and two burgers? FUCK THAT! How dare he not slide to help me? I'm pissed.
Rob: I'm behind, and we're gonna be fuck on an own doesn't jump with me here.
Russell: (interview) I don't know where he got off thinking that we were gonna be his bitch tonight, but that was definitely not my role. I'm here to do my job. I'm not here to babysit you.
Rob: Ah, you fucker!
Narrator: Meanwhile, in the blue kitchen...
Gordon: (to Rob) Come on, Rob!
Narrator: All the men need to complete the Ramsay family table is Rob's macaroni and cheese.
Russell: (to Vinny) Vinny, get your ass over here. He's weeded. He's weeded bad. What do you mean? (to Rob) Two macaronis! Get him two macaronis. LET'S GO! You got two people working on your station. Now I do, it doesn't matter. Now you do, so don't put up dog shit!
Gordon: So if he's not ready, then FUCK HIM! (referring Rob) I'll send it separate, okay?
Gordon: Service, please. [four of the five orders served to the Ramsay family] Come on, guys. Keep it together! In England, we eat at the same fucking time.
Tana Ramsay: (to son Jack) What did you have, Jack?
Jack Ramsay: I am having the macaroni and cheese.
Gordon: (to Rob) Come on, Rob. It's my family. My son's still waiting for the macaroni and cheese. Now I'm worried now.
Russell: (interview) Here we go again, dinner service is going horrible.
Rob: (gasps) Fuck you.
Russell: Rob, come on!
Boris: Come on!
Gordon: [holds a tickets waiting for his son's macaroni and cheese] Rob, move your ass! Hurry up!
Russell (interview) It's Mac and cheese, bro. It's not steak. It's not chicken. It's easy.
Gordon: Come on, Rob!
Rob: Yes, chef.
[Nona and Rob are up for elimination]
Gordon: Rob, give me your jacket, big boy... (Rob takes off his jacket) ...because it's filthy and dirty. This is a clean one, get it on and get back in line!

Episode Eight [8.08]

edit
[Gordon checks on gnocchi brought up by Trev]
Gordon: All of you, come here! What night is this? What fucking night?!
Red team: Important night of the year!
Gordon: Yeah, the most important night. Is this the most important gnocchi you've ever cooked?!
Trev: No, it's not.
Gordon: Fuck off will you?! (slams the pan on the workstation)
Jillian: Come on, Trev.
Gordon: What is that?
Sabrina Brimhall: (interview) That looks like a big-ass booger.
Holli: Oh, my God.
Gordon: Wake up, Trevor! Nothing's coming out! ON A NIGHT LIKE TONIGHT!! WAKE UP!!!
Jillian: (to Trev) My lobster's up and you have no garnish.
Trev: (interview) Get off my pass and let me cook!
Danny: (to Holli) Trev is gone tonight. What do you think?
Holli: Yeah.
Nona: What do you need Trev?
Jillian: (interview) This is not what he needs. Trev sucks. Dude, are you stoned? Like, did you smoke a joint before you came in here?
Gail: Trevor, you can't serve with those carrots in a burned pan.
Trev: Oh, no. I am going to fucking fix it.
Sabrina Brimhall: I'll help you!
Trev: Do not help me! Get the fuck out of my ass! Don't fucking help me!
Sabrina Brimhall: (interview) He is so stupid.
Nona: Does anybody need help right now? I'm good on app(etizer)s.
Trev: Could use a hand over here, definitely.
Nona: Here's your shallots.
Gordon: How many are on the garnish? One... two... three of you. Sabrina garnish, Nona garnish! Trev, what are you doing?!
Trev: Working it chef.
Gordon: (to Gail) Gail, go over to the garnish as well, and might as well.
Gail: (interview) I've never seen Chef Ramsay called over the entire kitchen to help one person. Ridiculous. [to Trev] The squash is burning.
Gordon: The squash is what?! Burning?! [facepalms]
Trev: Three broccolini, one squash! One squash is in!
Gordon: Where's the fucking broccolini?
Jillian: Dude, Trev, you have to put the basket down or it's gonna stick.
Gordon: Nona!
Nona: Yes, chef!
Gordon: Give me three broccolini! (to Trev) Hey, you, come here! I haven't sent one garnish out at the same (slams fist on the workstation) fucking time! I haven't sent them out yet! Do me a favour: Fuck off back and get some fresh air!
[Trev has just been thrown out of the service into the hallway]
Trev: (interview) I'm pissed at myself, 'cos I'm supposed to be the guy that can do anything. I feel like shit because I've let them down. They expected me to be Superman, and Clark Kent showed up.
[Vinny brings his lobster to the pass; Gordon checks it]
Gordon: (to Scott) Is it cooked?
Scott Leibfried: Uh, it's cooked alright. Half of it is mush on the outside and the center's well done.
Christina Machamer: Uh oh.
Gordon: [returns the lobster to the workstation] On a night like tonight! You (Rob) keep me dragging for the chicken! You (Boris) keep me dragging for the appetisers, then Vinny sends me this.
Vinny Accardi: I'll fix it.
Gordon: (sarcastically) "I'll fix it."
Russell: (interview) We're going down in a heap like a California mud-slide.
Gordon: Chicken?
Rob: (brings his chicken to the pass) Going up with the chicken!
Gordon: It's pink. [returns the chicken to the workstation] All of you, come here!
Boris: (interview) Uh-oh. It's fucking chicken, Rob.
Gordon: Pink, pink, don't dare touch it... pink, pink. All of you! What are we doing here? [Shows the faces of Boris, Russell, Christina & Rock, the people in the dining room, Danny & Holli, Vinny & Rob] GET OUT! Get out of here! [angrily throws his spoon at the Blue team as they exit the kitchen] GET OUT!!

Episode Nine [8.09]

edit
Gordon: [points at red kitchen] They're on their fifth ticket, you're on your second.
Russell: (to Rob) Step it up.
Trev: We gotta come back from this. Let's go. Push it out!
Gordon: Come on, Rob!
Rob: Yes, chef.
Gordon: Move it, big boy!
Rob: Yes, chef.
Gordon: Rob, (claps) MOVE!
Rob: Yes, chef! (brings scallops to the pass)
Gordon: [checks scallops with Sous Chef Scott] There's no colour on there.
Scott Leibfried: He's just not starting with the pan hot enough.
Gordon: [returns to workstation] I've got no fucking colour on my SCALLOPS!! [angrily drops plate] FOR FUCK'S SAKE!!
Russell: (interview) Come on! Let's get through a fucking service, please!
Gordon: They're raw, Rob!
Rob: I gave them a minute each side!
Gordon: What's that gotta do with it?! Where's your oil?! They're fucking raw! [starts cooking Rob's raw scallops] You take them out when they're fucking cooked! Their table's eating bar one!
Trev: (interview) Ninth service, and Rob still can't cook scallops.
Gordon: Rob, the largest one is the thickest one, so that comes out last.
Trev: (interview) I mean, Rob... Are you a complete fucking idiot?
Gordon: Sorry about the delay, let's go.
Rob: That won't happen again, guys. I got it.
[Gordon checks on halibut brought up by Rob]
Gordon: [returns to workstation] Fuck! Off! Yeah, come on. (to Rob) Come here you. Look at that. It's like split vomit. Look at that. Hold on, it gets worse. [splits one halibut in half] Raw. [angrily throws the halibut away on the workstation] Fuck off!
Russell: DAMMIT, LET'S GO! FOCUS!
Rob: Sorry, bro. Sorry.
Russell: Quit saying sorry and just go! Guys, we need to GO!
Gordon: Here we go, yet again. Nothing's coming out! Hey, (Rob) you! Come here, you! Come here, come here you. Come here, you. [leads Rob into the dining room]
Trev: (interview) Here goes Rob. Bye, Rob.
Gordon: You've got five minutes to wake up, otherwise you're history. [Rob and Gordon head back into the kitchen] Hey, hey, hey, hey, big boy. And I mean five minutes! I'LL DO IT MY FUCKING SELF, AND I'LL DO IT ON THE SECTION MYSELF AND I'LL RUN THE FUCKING HOT PLATE ON MY FUCKING OWN!
[Gordon and Nona at the beef station]
Gordon: Hey look at me! You are not evening listening! I'm trying to help you!
Nona: I know chef and I am taking on what your are saying!
Gordon: It (Three Beef) should be fucking seared by NOW!
Nona: Yes Chef!
Gordon: It will help if the pan was on!
Nona: It's on Chef!
Gordon: Fuck off will you! (Starts walking down to Nona's Station) Get out of my WAY! Look (Red Team) at that! Does that look hot enough to sear three beef? Let me show you (Nona) something! LOOK! There you go! (Takes the three beef out of the pan showing that the pan is not hot enough) It's hot Chef! (Sarcastically)
Nona: I just put them IN!
Gordon: Get out the way. (Nona walks back slowly) Get out my fucking way. Get out my fucking way. (Nona is at the back of the kitchen) GET OUT MY WAY!!
Nona: I'm not in your way!!
Gordon: FUCK OFF UPSTAIRS THEN!!!
Nona: Alright, fine. (leaves the kitchen)
Gordon: FUCK OFF! (Nona leaves and returns to dorms)
Gordon: Jillian!
Jillian: Yes Chef!
Gordon: Start working that station (meat)!
Jillian: Yes Chef!
[Gordon checks on halibut brought up by Rob]
Gordon: (returns to the workstation) Fuck off! Yeah, come on. (to Rob) Come here you. Look at that. It's like split vomit. Look at that. Hold on, hey. It gets worse. (splits one halibut in half) Raw. [angrily throws the halibut away on the workstation] Fuck off!
Russell: Damn it! Let's go! Focus!
Rob: Sorry, bro. I'm sorry.
Russell: Don't say you're sorry. Just go. (to his team mates) Guys we need to go!
Gordon: Here we go, yet again. Nothing's coming out!
[Gordon returns to the workstation with gnocchi]
Gordon: Who cooked the gnocchi?
Vinny Accardi: I did chef.
Gordon: Yeah, crispy one side and raw. They're raw underneath. [throws the gnocchi away] Hey!
Vinny Accardi: I'll fix it.
Gordon: Hey, GET OUT!! Fix your fucking hair! Fuck off out upstairs, get out! Fuck off!!
Vinny Accardi: (interview) Of all the things, fucking gnocchi. Gnocchi of all things.
Trev: Garnish is in the window! [brings his garnish to the pass]
Russell: Coming to the window with chicken! [brings his chicken to the pass]
Gordon: [checking Russell's chicken] My fucking head's throbbing! [returns to the workstation] (to Russell) That is raw!
Russell: Can I send this one?
Gordon: Get out, Russell! Get out!! Because the chicken's raw! (to Rob) Hey, big boy. One more fuck-up, you're next. Except it won't be up there, it'll be [points at dining room] FUCKING STRAIGHT OUT THERE!
Rob: (interview) Chef Ramsay's pissed! Fuming! We're going down like a sinking ship, and there are no lifeboats left.
[Rob brings his halibut to the pass; Gordon finds that it's raw]
Gordon: [quietly in Rob's ear] Get out.
Rob: Why chef? (interview) Ah? Did I hear that right?
Narrator: It's more than two hours into the dinner service. (shot of Russell, Vinny and Nona) Three chefs have already been kicked out of the kitchen, and much to Rob's confusion, he is about to join them.
Gordon: Hey, come here. Why? BECAUSE THE HALIBUT'S FUCKING RAW! THAT'S WHY, CHEF ROB! GET OUT!
Narrator: Which leaves only one chef left to complete service in the blue kitchen, and ironically...
Trev: (interview) Uh... hi?
Narrator: ...it's Trev.
Trev: (interview) The whole service just fell on my shoulders. I'm just going to have to push the fear down and fight through it.
Gordon: Salmon!
Trev: Good to go.
Gordon: Ooh, la la. Well done, Trev. Service!
Trev: (interview) It was like a big light just kind of opened in the dark sky, and I'm getting it.

Episode Ten [8.10]

edit
[Gordon checks on lamb brought up by Vinny]
Scott Leibfried: Lamb's still not ready.
Gordon: Un-fucking-believable. Vinny! Are you fucking kidding me?! With a man like that and his reputation, ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?!! (slams his hand on the workstation) OH, COME ON!!
Russell: (interview) Don't serve it if ain't right. You should know better, Vinny.
Josiah Citrin: If my lamb was here, these guys wouldn't be getting yelled at.
Gordon: It's still fucking walking, LOOK AT IT!!
Josiah Citrin: I love it. Get 'em, Ram- Get 'em, chef!
Gordon: [pauses for a brief moment] THIS IS CAR CRASH!! Trev, Russell, Vinny, DO SOMETHING!!! WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?!!
Gordon: Where's the bass?
[Vinny brings the bass to Gordon]
Gordon: Look at that. Look.
Vinny Accardi: I don't know about that bass.
Gordon: This is not possible. You're done.
Vinny Accardi: Huh?
Gordon: You're done. That's what I get served, look, come here, all of you! He brings that pissing over, and the big surprise is the FUCKING BASS IS FUCKING RAW!!! [throws the bass onto the floor] WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?!!
Vinny Accardi: I'm gonna get through this, Chef.
[Gordon throws his spoon onto the table, and goes the the Red Kitchen]
Vinny Accardi: I'm gonna get through it.
[Josiah Citrin has finally been served his entrée but disapproved of it for being overcooked]
Gordon: [to James] How's Josiah?
James Lukanik: Really, really unhappy.
Gordon: [to the Blue Team] All of you, so you fucking go there. You grace his table, he looks after you he comes in here and look at the treatment. Hey [to Trev] have you ever won a Michelin star?
Trev: No I haven't. I haven't even won one!
Gordon: Yeah there's a guy out there with TWO MICHELIN STARS AND LOOK AT US LIKE A BUNCH OF FUCKING PRICKS! Well done! Unbelievable!
[Vinny has brought Gordon an undercooked bass]
Gordon: This is not possible!
Russell: We're done.
Vinny Accardi: Huh?
Russell: You're done.
Gordon: (to the blue team) That's what I get served! Look, come here, all of you! [tilting the tray] He brings that pissing over, and the big surprise is the fucking bass is FUCKING RAW! [Gordon slams the bass down on the countertop] WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?!
[Gail brings her fifth lobster capellini re-fire to the pass; Gordon tastes a pasta strand before spitting it out]
Gordon: Gail! Look, I've got raw pasta! [picks up several strands of undercooked capellini] Hey, look at it! It's standing up straight! Look, madam! It's like a fucking thong leftover from a fucking night out in Vegas! COME ON!! All of you, just taste that, will you?! Taste it! Taste it! That's what you're sending me, taste it!
Jillian: It's hard. [Nona spits out pasta into a trash bin]
Gail: (interview, groans) Bad night. Bad night for me.
Gordon: Hold on, hey. It gets worse! [lifts pasta pan to show another pan with raw lobster underneath it] Touch that.
Jillian: Rubber.
Sabrina Brimhall: It's raw.
Gordon: (to Gail) Every lobster you sent me tonight—Its been undercooked, overcooked! Undercooked, overcooked! Now, it's [slams fist on workstation] FUCKING RAW! Look at me! Get out!
Gail: Yes, chef. [leaves red kitchen for the dorms]
Gordon: Get out! Get OUT! (to Jillian) Fish and garnish!
Jillian: Okay, chef.
Gail: (interview) That fucking lobster! I failed my team. I failed Chef Ramsay, so, um... It hurts. [sighs] There's no crying in the kitchen.

Episode Eleven [8.11]

edit
Jillian: (interview) I thought Michelin [sic] was a tire.
[Gordon checks on risotto brought up by Sabrina]
Gordon: Oh, no! What is that? Sabrina! That is cooked to fuck, and that there, fried risotto?
Russell: Burnt!
Jillian: (interview) Come on, Sabrina! Don't start us off like this!
Gordon: I want risotto, not fried risotto!
Sabrina Brimhall: Yes, chef!
Gordon: Right now!
Sabrina Brimhall: How long Trev, two spaghetti?
Trev: Four!
Sabrina Brimhall: Four? Four minutes that is pasta getting to cook in four minutes, Trev?
Trev: THERE'S PASTA IN THE BACK!
Jillian: Stop yelling!
Scott Leibfried: (approaches to Trev and yells at him) Hey! You watch your mouth right now! You don't stand over there and scream, I'm the one that's waiting for food from you, GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER AND COOK THE PASTA!
Gordon: Shit!
Trev: (interview) Now I'm trying, all you want to do is berate me, belittle me, get on my ass?! Piss off!
Gordon: Talk about out of fucking control.
Gordon: Oh, no. Gail?
Gail: Yes, chef?
Gordon: It's not possible! That's what I got at the pass. (Gordon holds up a piece of halibut stuck to the pan) When it's burnt, it's cooked. When it's black, it's fucked.
Gail: (interview) Stuck to the pan. Yeah.
Gordon: That's what I got given at the FUCKING PASS!!! SHIT!!! (Gordon slams down the pan, and a pair of tongs get sent in the air and almost hit him in the face) This is like a sabotage, nothing coming out.
Gordon: There's no teamwork, there's no care, there's no passion! FUCK OFF!
Jillian: (interview) I've never seen such chaos!
Gordon: I'm dying, I'm dying, I'm fucking dying!
Gail: (interview) He's gonna kick us all out of the kitchen.
Gordon: All of you, JUST STOP!!
Gail: (interview) We're done, this is over.
Gordon: COME HERE! [pause; to Sabrina] What's wrong with you?!
Sabrina Brimhall: Nothing, chef.
Gordon: Look at me! Hey, look, you ignorant bitch!! Look at my fucking eyes when I'm talking to you!
Sabrina Brimhall: Yes, chef.
Gordon: WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?!
Sabrina Brimhall: I'm trying to work, chef. I'm trying to communicate.
Gordon: WAKE UP!
Sabrina Brimhall: Yes, chef.
Gordon: (to Trev) You! What's wrong with you?!
Trev: Nothing.
Gordon: GET A GRIP!
Trev: You got it.
Gordon: (to Russell) Hey, you! You may bark, but there's shit all coming out! [to Gail] And, you, look! Hailbut's STUCK TO THE PAN!! [slams fist down]
Gail: (interview) We don't deserve to wear the black jackets, and this far into the game, we should be able to run a kitchen.
Gordon: For GOD'S SAKE! [throws spoon across the kitchen]
[Gordon checks on rib-eye beef brought up by Russell; after finding out that it's raw, he has had it]
Gordon: It's raw in the centre... Russell! (goes worried) Stop! (throws spoon on the floor) I can't take anymore. I can't. I can't do this. (throws tantrum) I CANNOT DO THIS ANY-FUCKING-MORE! I CAN'T DO IT ANYMORE! IT'S NOT FAIR ON FUCKING ME! (overviews to tell the customers) IT'S NOT FAIR ON THEM!! (to the final six) GET OUT!! FUCK OFF!! GET OUT!!! Yeah, that's right! Get out! GET OUT!!! (to Trev; tosses a blue steak to him) Hey, catch your blue steak! Fucking blue.
Trev: (interview) This sucks. The horrible feeling and it feels like going down to the world.
[Customers are leaving Hell's Kitchen]
Gordon: Sabrina was quite dramatic in her final plea, but I'm not looking for a drama queen. I'm looking for a head chef.

Episode Twelve [8.12]

edit
[Gordon returns an undercooked appetizer to the workstation]
Gordon: (to Trev) Hey bozo! [does a stop signal; angrily knocks the workstation with both hands] Just all of you, look at me now! It's like you're doing it on purpose!
James Lukanik: Oh, chef's losing it.
Gordon: Hard, undercooked, and stone-cold. Three beef are on the way just a lick a finger on that. Look at us! WE DESERVE BETTER THAN THIS!! WHERE'S YOUR PASSION?!! (angrily throws his spoon) I'm done standing here in a bunch of idiots! (throws his apron on the workstation) Fuck you all! Good luck, superstars! [he and Sous-Chef Scott exited the kitchen and left] Fucking useless. Aiyayayay.
Nona: (interview) We are fucked. Come on.
Paris Hilton: Oh, man.
Steven Cojocaru: Aw, there he is.
James Lukanik: What is that?
Gail: (interview) This is over. Over.
Gordon: (to himself) Oh, fuck! I can do some real damage by staying there.
Gordon: This is like a joke. It's like you've been Punk'd, like you've been set up to look stupid.

Episode Thirteen [8.13]

edit
[Gordon checks on risotto brought up by Nona]
Gordon: (tastes) It fucks me off. [returns the risotto to the workstation] STOP! (to Nona and Trev) Come here you! (to Russell) Come here! (to Jillian) And you as well! Have a fucking good taste! [Gordon tastes, as well as the final four]
Nona: (interview) Awesome. It's freaking great. I love what's happening right now.
Gordon: What's the first thing that comes to your mouth?
Russell: Pepper! (interview) Yeah, can we have some risotto with the pepper, please? Refire.
Gordon: [spits out the risotto in disgust] Three stunning risottos away.
Nona: Yes, chef. (interview) Sucks, sucks, sucks.
[After dinner service, the remaining four debate over who should go home]
Jillian: I killed it on garnish tonight! There's no reason I should go up for elimination.
Trev: I thought I had a great night, too. (to Nona and Russell) I'm nominating you two. You guys were the ones who had fuck-ups tonight.
Nona: I had a good night. My votes are Trev, and... my second one is Russell because of the scallops and the halibut. (interview) Russ was not perfect tonight, and Trev did not do too bad, but it's hard to go wrong when you have Chef Ramsay wiping your ass for you.
Jillian: My votes are for Trev and Russell, too.
Trev: (interview) What the hell?! (to Jillian) What happened to the plan?
[Flashback to the dinner service]
Jillian: [in the flashback] Let them get put up for elimination tonight. Even if they do good.
Trev: [in the flashback giving Jillian a high-five] Boo-yah, shocka!
[Back to present]
Trev: (interview) Jillian's selling me out.
Russell: I'm definitely voting for you, Trev because of your attitude and communication lapses. It's fucking ridiculous. (Trev just shrugs) If you talked to me like you talked to me before about that salmon, I would have slapped the shit out of you! (Jillian and Nona stare at Russell in shock) If you ever think you can cop an attitude like that with me, best believe you're gonna catch one to the side of your fucking head!
Nona: W–Whoa!
Trev: [shrugs again] Okay.
Russell: I will fuck you up, bro!

Episode Fourteen [8.14]

edit
Trev: New order! One spaghetti, two scallops, one truffle salad! [pause] How long?! [no one responds]
Jillian: (interview) Nobody's listening to anything Trev says. Just like, "Blah-blah-blah," coming out his mouth!
Trev: Knock it out, guys! Let's get 'em in, get 'em out! [Nona continues to ignore Trev]
Gordon: Answer him!
Jillian: (interview) Nobody respects him, and that's why while he's on the pass, everyone's ignoring him.
Trev: One spaghetti, two scallops, one truffle salad! [beat; Sous Chef Scott looks up]
Gordon: Is there an answer?!
Nona & Russell: Yes, chef!
Narrator: The chefs may not be listening to Trev, but that doesn't stop him from calling more tickets.
Trev: One salmon, two beef, one wellington! Six minutes to the window!
Nona: Six minutes!
Trev: Thank you!
Gordon: [facepalms] Stop two beef, one salmon, one wellington! 'Cause we haven't the fucking appetisers yet!
Trev: Son of a bitch.
Gordon: "Son of a bitch?!" Ah, [throws spoon] fucking hell!
Trev: Fucking hell's right.
Jillian: (interview) Trev sucks. Sorry, Trev, you suck.
Gordon: COME ON, TREVOR!
[During the penultimate dinner service; Jillian is the last on the hot plate]
Narrator: After failing to notice Chef Scott's swapping of the meat, Jillian is on high alert.
Gordon: Come on, Trev!
Jillian: You’re not sending that shit out. That one looks like crap! Fire a new one (halibut), fire it now!
Trev: It’s ready right now, if you want it.
Jillian: COME ON! (interview) Trev, you’re fucking up and it’s not right. [Trev brings his fish to the pass] This one’s skinny as shit and that one’s fat as fuck! You got a different one?
Trev: It’s gonna take six minutes if you want me to do that!
Jillian: Well, this is not how they look on the same table! It’s bullshit!
Trev: They’re not all cut equal!
Nona: (interview) Jillian is just [makes a clawing motion with her hand] "RAWRAWRAWRAWRAWR!!!", all over Trev!
Jillian: [checks on more halibut brought up by Trev] TREV!
Trev: Yes, chef.
Jillian: YOUR HALIBUT IS FREAKIN’ RAW! Come here! Come here! Look at that shit, dude! It’s fucking raw! COME ON! HOW MANY TIMES ARE YOU GONNA DO IT?!
Trev: Sixteen, if it takes.
Jillian: As many times as it takes?!
Trev: As many times as it takes to get it right!
Jillian: WELL, FUCKING GET IT RIGHT, MAN!
Trev: Doesn't make any sense to me.
Jillian: (interview) I just don’t understand, like... I don’t get it.
Gordon: You’ve got to control the kitchen, otherwise the kitchen controls you.
Jillian: Yes, chef. (to Trev) YOU’RE SCREWING ME ON THE PASS!
Trev: Dude, they’re all different fucking sizes!
Gordon: Jillian, you have to convict this! This is just not good enough! [to the Black Jackets] LISTEN TO ME, IT’S NOT GOOD ENOUGH! (to Trev) YOU MAY WANT TO SCREW HER, BUT YOU’RE NOT GOING TO FUCKING SCREW ME! COME HERE, YOU! Next time you fuck her again, or fuck me on one halibut, you’re fucking out! NOW WAKE UP! A JOKE’S A JOKE, BUT QUIT IT!
Jillian: (interview) I wanted to throw a fucking hot pan at Trev’s head. Stop making me look bad, do your job! (to Trev) Move it!
[Trev brings up his halibut, which is finally perfectly cooked]
Gordon: Now, yeah. You know how it feels standing here, yes?
Jillian: Yes, chef. It fucking sucks.
Gordon: Sideways.

Episode Fifteen [8.15]

edit
Russell: (interview; after finished second) I'm pissed. I'm not happy at all. I chose the team that I wanted, and I thought they would help me win. In fact, they helped me lose, so... you know, thanks a lot, guys. (to his dad) I felt like I was being sabotaged. (interview) You will never get a job in any city I work. I'm gonna definitely blackball you guys, because you guys fucked me so royally tonight.
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