Everybody Loves Raymond (season 3)

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Everybody Loves Raymond (1996 – 2005) was a long-running CBS sitcom about a successful sports writer Ray Barone, whose oddball family life consists of a fed up wife, overbearing parents (who live across the street), and an older brother with lifelong jealousy of Ray.

Season 3

The Invasion [3.01]

Robert: So everybody has to do what Raymond wants, right? New sheets for Raymond! Brownies for Raymond! Can't sleep naked around Raymond!

Driving Frank [3.02]

Robert: You hit my patrol car!

Frank: I'm your father! I don't care if I killed a guy; you're supposed to look the other way!

Raymond: Dad, whatever you do, I wanna look the other way.

Robert: I can't look the other way anymore! You drive like a maniac!

Debra: Frank, how did you hit Robert's patrol car?

Robert: My partner comes to pick me up, and Dad backs out of the driveway without looking!

Frank: That car shouldn't have been there!

Robert: On the street?

Frank: (pleading) Just lie! Say you never saw the guy!

Robert: I can't do that, Dad!

Frank: Why not?

Robert: Because I have a moral obligation as a police officer, and I almost got caught lying for you the last time! Now let me see your license!

Frank: Sorry, Sally, I'm fightin' this!

Robert: There is black and white on the side of your car!

Frank: (yelling) I HIT A PENGUIN!

Robert: (yelling himself) I'M WRITING THE TICKET! (sits down at the kitchen table and begins furiously scribbling in his ticket book)

Frank: FINE! THAT'S "BARONE!" B-A-R-O-N-E, AS IN "THE MAN FROM WHOSE LOINS YOU SPRUNG!"