Dr. Dolittle 2
2001 film by Steve Carr
Dr. Dolittle 2 is the 2001 sequel to the 1998 film. This time around, Dr. Dolittle has become an international celebrity because of his ability to talk to animals, and must save the life of a circus bear.
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- I am the Alpha Bear! Grrr! Grrr! Bears say "grrr," right?
- (Singing) Her Name was Lola. She was a show bear. She'd like to dance with me.
- Go, doctor. Go, doctor.
- Steve Irwin: I am here with Dr. Dolittle, who can actually talk with animals. We're here about to capture this alligator right behind us. The trick to capturing this guy is to put your arms around his neck...
- Alligator: Hey Dolittle, What I'm doing is letting Steve think I don't hear him, when he comes for me, I'm gonna turn around and snap his arm off.
- [Steve is still talking to camera]
- John: Steve, I think he knows we're here.
- Steve Irwin: Quiet, I don't wanna spoil the element of surprise...NOW! [Snapping noise] Crikey! Me arm!
- John: What are you drinking?
- Monkey: It's Gatorade.
- John: Give me that! [takes water pouch and smells drink] Gatorade made wine, now?
- John: No cellphone for a week.
- Charisse: Oh, and what am I supposed to do without my cellphone?!
- John: Here's some stamps. Learn to write a letter or something.
- [Dr. Dolittle meets a Pacific Western bear named Ava and makes a proposition]
- Dr. Dolittle: Hi. Hello. My name is John.
- Ava: I'm Ava.
- Dolittle: Hi, Ava. That's a pretty name. Nice to meet you.
- Ava: Hi.
- Dolittle: A quick question, Ava. How would you like to meet the man of your dreams?
- Ava: You're real cute, but I don't go interspecies.
- Dolittle: No, I'm not talking about me. I shouldn't have said man. I should've said bear. What do you think of that big hunk of bear over there?
- Ava: I don't think I see him.Is he standing behind that dork?
- Dolittle: No, he is...Let me explain what's going on. A logging company's gonna tear down the whole forest. And the only thing that can stop them is if I can get two Pacific Western bears together. You're a Pacific Western bear, so is he. If you two made little Pacific Western bears, then... You see where I'm going?
- Ava: Yeah. [walks away] Look, no offense, but I don't talk to bear pimps.
- [During Archie's detention, as John and Charisse visit him.]
- Archie: Looks like I wasn't meant to be loved.
- Charisse: Everyone's meant to be loved.
- John: Yes, everyone's meant to- [caught by surprise at Charisse's newfound ability] Charisse!
- [After Archie humiliates himself in front of Ava, he hides in a cave. Dr. Dolittle is trying to help him out.]
- John: Come on out of there, Archie.
- Archie: Never!
- John: I'm sure it wasn't that bad.
- Archie: It was the most humiliating thing I've ever done! And I had to ride a unicycle in a tutu! A tutu! (exclaims in disgust)
- John: Alright, I understand you, but we just gotta work a little harder is all.
- Archie: No, I'm just gonna stay in here and hibernate.
- John: Alright, Archie. I'm not playing anymore. You come out here right now, you big coward!
- Archie: Uh, excuse me, who are you calling a coward?
- John: You! I'm calling YOU a coward! You're a big coward for quitting like this!
- Archie: Well, it's hard.
- John: You wanna know what "hard" is, Archie? My wife is mad at me, my daughter's mad at me, and I'm spending my vacation with a pizza boy, who greets me by saying "Hey yo, Dr. D, what's up?" Now, I'm standing here listening to a big, furry baby cryin' he's gonna quit 'cause it's too hard!
- Archie: Well, Ava laughed at me!
- John: (mocking Archie) "Oh, boo-hoo! Ava laughed at me! I love her, and I need her, and she laughed at me!" You know somethin'? You don't even deserve Ava! Why should she have to spend her life with a (pokes at him) coward like you?
- Archie: Hey! Don't poke a bear, buddy!
- John: Oh, I didn't poke a bear, because if I was pokin' a bear, a bear would be mauling me. So, I dunno what I poked, but it sure as hell ain't no bear! (pokes him again)
- Archie: Hey, I'm warning you!
- John: (pokes him again) Yeah, and I'm POKING you!
- Archie: Hey, stop it!
- John: (pokes him three times) Poke poke poke!
- Archie: Alright, that's it! (knocks John off the hill, and he lands in some mud.)
- John: Archie, that hurt.
- Archie: Whoa, that felt good. Bear-like.
- John: Hey Archie, you know what? You're beyond my help! You just take your ass back to the circus!
- Archie: A bear? Whoo-hoo! I'm a bear! I'm the alpha bear! Rawr! RAAWWRRR! Uh, bears say "grr," right?
- Archie: Uh-oh. Uh-oh!
- John: What do you mean "uh-oh?"
- Archie: Ice cream's acting up.
- John: What ice cream?
- Archie: After Sonny took Ava, I got depressed, and went on a bender. And on the second gallon, I realize, that I'm in love with Ava, and this ice cream called "Cherry Garcia." [belches]
- John: Hey, Don't you DARE throw up on me!
- Archie: (groans) That's not where it's gonna come out! (groans)
- John: Wait, wait, wait, hold on! If you have to do that, then sit on the toilet!
Animal Voice TalentEdit
- Steve Zahn - Archie
- Norm Macdonald - Lucky (uncredited)
- Lisa Kudrow - Ava
- Mike Epps - Sonny
- Jacob Vargas - Pepito
- Michael Rapaport - Joey
- Phil Proctor - Drunk Monkey
- Isaac Hayes - Possum
- Andy Dick - Mr. "Lennie" Weasel
- John Whitherspoon - Old Prison Bear
- Cedric the Entertainer - Young Prison Bear
- Jamie Kennedy - Dog #1
- David Cross - Dog #2
- David DeLuise - Fish #1
- Reni Santoni, Cheech Marin (considered) - Rat #1
- John Leguizamo - Rat #2 (uncredited)
- Arnold Schwarzenegger - White Wolf (uncredited)
- Kevin Pollak - Alligator
- Mandy Moore - Girl Bear Cub
- Frankie Muniz - Boy Bear Cub
- Michael McKean - Bird
- Tom Kenny - Male Tortoise