Despicable Me is a 2010 American computer-animated 3-D feature film from Universal Pictures and Illumination Entertainment that was released on July 9, 2010 in the United States. The film stars Steve Carell, Jason Segel, Russell Brand, Will Arnett, Kristen Wiig, Miranda Cosgrove, Dana Gaier, Elsie Fisher, and Julie Andrews.
- [to Dr. Nefario] I said cookie robots! Why, why are you so... old?
- [to Margo; about Kyle] He's a... [pause] I don't know.
- Yes, yes. I went to kindergarten, I know how the alphabet goes.
- [repeated line, whenever he has an idea] Light bulb!
- [about Vector who stole the shrink ray Gru stole and shrunk his ship] Ugh... I hate that guy.
- [to Agnes] Did you brush your teeth? [Agnes nods] Let me smell, Let me smell... [Agnes opens her mouth, Gru sniffs and nearly gags] You did not!
- Listen close, you little punk, when I get in there, you are in for a world of pain!
- You've got to be pulling on my leg.
- Oh no, sorry, that book was accidentally destroyed maliciously.
- [To his minions] What did we do? Well, we stole the Times Square JumboTron! Nice. [all cheering] That's how I roll. Yeah, you all like watching football on that, huh?! But that's not all! We stole the Statue of Liberty! [Minions cheer] A small one from Las Vegas. [Minions groan with disappointment] I won't even mention the Eiffel Tower. Also Vegas.
- Watch this. [monotone] Leave a message. Beep.
- [from trailer, when the balloon boy points at him] You got to be kidding me!
- [referring to the bedtime story Sleepy Kittens he was reading to the girls] Wow! This is garbage. You actually like this?
- [discussing a financial problem with the minions] Now, I know there have been some rumors going around that the bank is no longer funding us. Well, I am here to put those rumors to rest. They are true. [his minions get shocked; the girls are also hearing the bad news] In terms of money, we have no money. So how will we get to the moon? The answer is clear [sits hopelessly on a chair] we won't. [some of his Minions start to cry] We are doomed. Now it would probably be a good time to look for other employment options. I know I have fired up my resume, as I suggest that all of you do as well. [feels floppy along with his minions when he feels being thugged lightly on his sweater; to the girls] What is it? [frowned] Can't you see that I am in the middle of a pep talk?
- [when he hears that the pyramid is stolen; angrily] Assemble the Minions! [throws Kyle of his arm]
- [reading for the three girls]
Three little kittens loved to play,
they had fun in the sun all day.
Then their mother came out and said,
"Time for kittens to go to bed."
Three little kittens started to bawl,
"Mommy, we're not tired at all."
Their mother smiled and said with a purr,
"Fine, but at least you should brush you fur."
Three little kittens with fur all brushed said,
"We can't sleep, we feel too rushed!"
Their mother replied, with a voice like silk,
"Fine, but at least you should drink your milk."
Three little kittens, with milk all gone,
rubbed their eyes and started to yawn.
"We can't sleep, we can't even try."
Then their mother sang a lullaby.
"Good night kittens, close your eyes.
Sleep in peace until you rise.
Though while you sleep, we are apart,
your mommy loves you with all her heart."
- [stealing the shrink ray Gru stole] Now maybe you'll think twice before you freeze someone's head! So long, Gru!
- [after shrinking his toilet] Oh, look at you. A little, tiny toilet for a little, tiny baby to-- [the toilet is blown off and water sprays him in the face] AAAHH! Curse you, tiny toilet!
- [as he is falling after being shocked off of Gru's spaceship] My flight suit! [pulls a string that releases flaps like a flying squirrel; starts flying] Oh yeah! Once again, the mighty Vec- [slams into an electrical tower, which shocks him and sends him falling; screaming]
- Squid launcher! Oh yeah!
- Don't worry. The moon is as good as ours.
- [playing with the shrink ray] Take that! You done been shrunk!
- [from the trailer] When I'm done with Gru, he's gonna be begging for mercy!
- OH YEAH!!!!!
- They are not pajamas!
- [After Gru punches his shark] He punched my shark!?
- [In the intercom asking the girls] I don't care. Beat it!
- [After getting marooned on the moon] Oh poop.
- [hugging Gru] I love you.
- Hello! Cookies for sale!
- Hi! We're orphans from Miss Hattie's Home for Girls!
- Actually, we can't [imitates Gru] skip the dance class today.
- [to Gru; confused] But what about the other people who orders cookies?
- [from Home Makeover; when the social worker arrives; imitating Gru] You must be the social worker. Please come in.
- When we got adopted by a bald guy, I thought this would be more like Annie.
- It poked a hole in my juice box.
- Somebody broke that.
- [when interrupted by Gru when playing with toilet paper; points to Jerry the Minion] It was your cousin's idea.
- [referring to the pancake that Gru baked for her; eager] Yes! Mine is shaped like a dead guy!
- [about a stuffed unicorn] He's so fluffy, I'm gonna DIE!!!
- [with a stuffed unicorn before jumping; in deep voice] IT'S SO FLUFFY!
- Pinky promise?
- [to Gru] Will you read us a bedtime story?
- [sung] Unicorns, I love them. Unicorns, I love them. Uni-uni-unicorns, I love them. Uni-unicorns. I could pet one if they were really real, and they are! So I bought one so I could pet it. Now it loves me. Now I love it. La-la-la-la-la.
- [referring to Gru after he punched; to Vector] He's gonna kick your butt.
- [while praying before bedtime] And please bless us that someone will adopt us soon. And that the mommy and daddy will be nice [opens her eyes] and have a pet unicorn. [Margo and Edith look at her] Amen.
- [strangling around Gru's leg; laughs] I got your leg, I got your leg!
- [from Home Makeover, after Gru became unconcious, about his expression; last lines] I think he likes it.
- Does this count as annoying? [lets go of Margo's hand and puckers her cheeks]
- Penny: [to the girls] Hi, guys.
- Dr. Nefario: [to Gru, while dancing around] A dozen boogie robots! BOOGIE!!!
Dialogue: Minion MoviesEdit
- Margo: [first lines, picks up the phone] Hello, Gru residence... [realizing] It's the orphanage. [to Agnes holding a box of Toffee Totes] Where's Mr. Gru?
- Agnes: He's out getting more plutonium.
- Margo: [gets back on the phone, imitating Gru] Um, hello. This is the Mr. Gru you are looking for. [shocked; normal voice] Today?! [nearly drops the phone, but manages and responds; imitating Gru] Um, no. Of course. That is fine. [hangs up the phone; to the girls and Minions] The social worker is coming to make sure this home is suitable for children. [everyone gasps] If not, we'll be sent back to Miss Hattie's!
- Edith: Please, this house was built for kids. [accidentally lets the lance drop, falling between two Minions]
- [Margo angrily turns to Edith]
- Agnes: [to the Minions] Assemble the troops!
- Minions: [perform a salute] Yes, ma'am!
- Dave: [peeking out the window; panicking] Big guy! Big guy! [shudders] Big guy!
- Agnes: But Mr. Gru's not back yet!
- Tim: [speaks gibberish]
- Minions: Yes Tim!
- Minion: No, no, no, no, no. [Speaks gibberish] Buttface!
- Minion 1: Ooh banana!
- Minion 2: Banana!
- Minion 1: Mine!
- Minion: Bapple [takes a bite out of an apple; all the minions looking at him] Umm, Bapple?
- Minions: [seeing the apple] Bapple!
Dialogue: Feature filmEdit
- Gru: Hello, Fred. FYI. Your dog has been leaving little bombs in my yard, and I do not appreciate it.
- Fred McDade, neighbor: Oh, sorry. You know dogs... they go where everywhere they wanna go.
- Gru: Unless they're dead. [laughs] I'm joking! Oh, though it is true. Anyway, have a good one.
- [Gru approaches his door, holding a club in one of his hands. He peeks through the key hole, seeing three little girls]
- Margo: Hello! Cookies for sale!
- Gru: Go away! I'm not home!
- Margo: Uh, yes, you are. I heard you.
- [Edith goes in front of Margo and sticks her tongue out at Gru]
- Gru: [gasps, dropping his club] No, you didn't. This... [monotone] is a recording.
- Margo: [scoffs] No, it isn't.
- Gru: Yes, it is. [cut on the girls] Watch this. [monotone] Leave a message. Beep. [Edith kicks the door; off-screen] Ow!
- Agnes: [still standing in front of Gru's door] Goodbye, recorded message.
- Margo: [off-screen] Agnes, come on!
- [Gru is trying to get Kyle of his arm]
- Doctor Nefario: [by intercom] Gru!
- Gru: [calmly] Ah, Dr. Nefario.
- Dr. Nefario: I know how you must be feeling. I too have encountered great disappointment, but, in my eyes, you'll always be one of the greats.
- Gru: What? What happened?
- Dr. Nefario: It's all over the news! Some fella just stole a pyramid! He said it makes all other villains look... lame.
- Gru: [realizes what happened, then responds angrily] Assemble the Minions! [throws Kyle off of his arm]
- [Gru's mother is calling him from the kung-fu training hall while he's in his car]
- Gru: Hello, Mom. Sorry. I meant to call, but...
- Gru's Mom: I just wanted to congratulate you on stealing the pyramid. [Gru sighs in disgust] That was you, wasn't it? Or was it a villain who was actually successful? [laughs]
- Gru: Listen, I'm in the middle of something that's very very big, very important! When you hear about it, you're going to be very proud!
- Gru's Mom: Ha! Good luck with that! Okay, I'm outta here! [ends the call and immediately hits another person with a punching bag] HA!
- [Gru presents his moon heist plan to Mr. Perkins]
- Gru: So all I need is money from the bank to build a rocket, and then the moon is ours.
- Mr. Perkins: Wow! That's a very nice presentation. Um, I like to see this shrink ray.
- Gru: Absolutely! Will do! [softly] Soon I have it.
- Mr. Perkins: You don't have it? And yet you have the audacity to ask the bank for money?!
- Gru: Apparently.
- Mr. Perkins: Do you have any idea on what this bank invested in you, Gru? With far too little of your plots actually turning a profit. How else can I put it? Let's say this apple is you. If we don't start getting our money back... [smashes it with his hand] Get the picture?
- Gru: [nervously] Mm-hmm.
- Mr. Perkins: Look, Gru, what I'm saying is that they're a lot of other villains out there. Younger than you. Hungrier than you. Younger than you. Like that young fella out there named Vector! He just stole a pyramid!
- Gru: [Gru stops and is shocked] I got it, I got it. So, as far as getting money for the rocket.
- Mr. Perkins: Get the shrink ray, then we'll talk.
- [the girls are screaming in excited about getting adopted]
- Margo: [rips off a poster] I bet the mom is beautiful!
- Edith: [picks up a piggy bank] I bet the daddy's eyes sparkle!
- Agnes: I bet their house is made of gummy bears! [Margo and Edith stare at her; the music slows down] I'm just saying it will be nice. [picks up something] Aww, my caterpillar never turned into a butterfly.
- Edith: That's a Cheeto.
- Agnes: Oh. [eats it; Margo and Edith look with disgust]
- Gru: As you can see, I've provided everything a child might need. [puts down two dog bowls and a newspaper] Alright. Um, okay, now as I was saying... [Edith knocks down an acid-filled vase] Hey! [groans and gets enraged]
- Edith: [points to the mess she made] Somebody broke that.
- Gru: [calms down] Okay, okay, clearly, we need to set some rules. Rule number one: you will not touch anything.
- Margo: Uh-huh. What about the floor?
- Gru: Yes, you may touch the floor.
- Margo: What about the air?
- Gru: Yes, you may touch the air.
- Edith: [holding one of Gru's weapons] What about this?
- [Gru looks at it, lets out a startled cry, and holds up a pan for protection]
- Gru: Where did you get that?
- Edith: Found it.
- Gru: [takes the weapon from Edith's hands] Okay. Rule number two: you will not bother me while I'm working. Rule number three: you will not cry or whine or laugh or giggle or sneeze or burp or fart. So no-no-no annoying sounds. Alright?
- Agnes: Does this count as annoying? [lets go of Margo's hand and puckers her cheeks; Gru grabs her hands, looking very angry]
- Gru: VERY! [sighs irritably] I'll see you in six hours.
- Margo: Okay... don't worry, everything is going to be fine. We're gonna be really happy here! Right? [looks behind her] Agnes?
- Agnes: [eating out of a candy-filled dog bowl] Mmmm?
- [Dr. Nefario activates a set of robots that begin dancing under disco lights. Boogie Fever by The Sylvers starts playing. One of the minions jumps in and joins them; Gru stares in confusion]
- Gru: Uh, question. What are these?
- Dr. Nefario: [while dancing around] A dozen boogie robots! BOOGIE! [laughs] Look at this! Watch me!
- Gru: [turns off the music] Cookie robots. I said cookie robots! Why, why are you so...old?
- Dr. Nefario: Okay, I'm on it.
- [A minion drinks something purple out of an erlenmeyer flask, suddenly he starts floating upwards]
- Dr. Nefario: We've been working on this for a while. It's, uh, anti-gravity serum.
- Minion: [notices he is drifting towards an open window; terrified] Ooh, ooh, ooh, melomo, AAAAAAAAAAAHHH! [disappears into the sky]
- Dr. Nefario: I meant to close that. He'll be all right, I'm sure.
- Gru: Do the effects wear off?
- Dr. Nefario: Uh, so far, no... no they don't. [Gru looks up to see ten Minions floating about on the ceiling] And here, of course, is the new weapon you ordered. [shoots a Minion with the fart gun, knocking him out]
- Gru: No, no, no. I said dart gun, not- [stops and starts fanning the scent away] Okay.
- Dr. Nefario: Oh! Yes. 'Cause I was wondering... under what circumstances would we use this? But anyway, [puts the fart gun away] what I really wanted to show you, was this. [shows Gru a dozen cookies, which are actually spider-like robots]
- Gru: [delighted] Now those are cookie robots!
- Agnes: [suddenly disturbs them; singing] La, la, la... I love unicorns...
- Gru: What are you doing here? I told you to stay in the kitchen.
- Margo: We've got bored. What is this place?
- Gru: Err...
- Edith: [about the liquid in the beaker] Can I drink this?
- Dr. Nefario: [taking the beaker] Do you want to explode?! [Edith kicks Dr. Nefario in the shin and he yowls in pain] GRU!
- Gru: Get back in the kitchen!
- Agnes: Will you play with us?
- Gru: No.
- Agnes: Why?
- Gru: Because, I'm busy.
- Margo: Doing what?
- Gru: Um... okay, okay, you got me. The dentist thing is more of a hobby. In real life, I am a spy. And it is top secret and you may not tell anybody! Because if you do...
- Edith: [cuts off Gru] What does this do? [Edith accidentally shoots the laser gun of Agnes' unicorn toy, scorching it; once Agnes lifts it, it crumbles to dust, she gasps]
- Gru: [angry at Edith for destroying Agnes' unicorn toy] Hey!
- Edith: Whoops.
- Agnes: My unicorn! You have to fix it!
- Gru: Fix it? Look, it has been disintegrated. By definition, it cannot be fixed. [Agnes gasps, then starts holding her breath; to Margo] That's freaking me out. What is she doing?
- Margo: She's gonna hold her breath until she gets a new one.
- Gru: [sighs] It is just a toy, now stop it. [Agnes faints; panicking] Okay, Okay! I fix it! Tim! Mark! Phil! [three minions immediately arrive in pneumatic tubes] This is very important. You have to get the little girl a new unicorn toy.
- Mark: Eh? Papoi? Bakanana papoi?
- Tim: No-no-no-no-no. Pa-poy. [rolls his eyes]
- Mark: Ah, Papoy! [Phil chuckles]
- Gru: Hey, hey, hey! A toy!
- Mark: Da, da, da. Papoy. [scoffs]
- Gru: Go, and hurry! [the three minions walk off]
- Margo: What are those?
- Gru: They are my... [Dr. Nefario looks at him; thinking] cousins. Jerry! Stuart! [two other Minions come in] Watch them and keep them away from me, please.
- Margo: [unimpressed] Just so you know, you're never gonna be my dad.
- Gru: [thinks a moment] I think I can live with that.
- Edith: Are these beds made out of bombs?
- Gru: Yes, but they are very old and highly unlikely to blow up. But try not to toss and turn.
- Edith: [proudly] Cool.
- Agnes: Will you read us a bedtime story?
- Gru: [reluctantly] No.
- Agnes: But we can't go to sleep without a bedtime story.
- Gru: Well then it's going to be a long night for you, isn't it? So good night, sleep tight and don't let the bed bugs bite. Because... there are literally thousands of them. [beats, then whispers sinisterly] Oh, and there's probably something in your closet. [closes the door and chuckles]
- Margo: [referring to Gru] He's just kidding, Agnes.
- Margo: [delivering Vector his cookies, some of which are robots] Four boxes of Mini-Mints, two Toffee-Totes, two Caramel Clumpies, and... fifteen boxes of Coconutties.
- Vector: Exactly. I'd like to see somebody else order that many cookies. Not likely. Name one person who ordered more cookies than me.
- Margo: [unimpressed] That'll be $52.
- Vector: Right. [as Vector goes through his wallet, six cookie robots escape from the bowl] Seven, eight, nine-
- Agnes: Why are you wearing pajamas?
- Vector: [scoffs] These aren't pajamas! It's a warm-up suit.
- Edith: What are you warming up for?
- Vector: Stuff.
- Margo: What sort of stuff?
- Vector: Super cool stuff you wouldn't understand.
- Agnes: Like sleeping?
- Vector: They are not pajamas!
- Margo: [to Gru] But what about the other people who ordered cookies?
- Gru: Life is full of disappointments for some people. [cackles]
- [Agnes looks back at the window, sees an oncoming vehicle driving in the opposite direction, and shrieks, Gru swerves and turns right, and Gru's vehicle knocks a fisherman down the cliff]
- Gru: Don't do that!
- Agnes: [She points the amusement park and pushes Gru] Super Silly Fun Land! Can we go? Please?
- Gru: [sadly] No.
- Edith: But we've never been. And it's the funniest place on earth!
- Gru: [sadly] Don't care.
- [Gru is pressured into stopping at the amusement park; they pass by one stall]
- Agnes: [seeing something off-screen] AAH! Oh my gosh! Look at that fluffy unicorn! He's so fluffy I'm gonna die!
- Margo: [pulling Gru's palm] You gotta let us play for it.
- Gru: No, no, no. No-no-no-no.
- Agnes: C'mon!
- Gru: [in a dull and bored tone] How much for the fluffy unicorn?
- Carnival Barker: Well, it's not for sale. But all you gotta do, to win it, is knock down that little spaceship there. Ha! It's easy! [points to a small plastic spaceship, which has a scary face on it; Gru sighs and hands him a dollar. The girls play, but lose]
- Agnes: Again!
- [Gru walks away]
- Margo: Wait!
- Edith: Ah, come on. One more time.
- Agnes: Just one more! I accidentally closed my eyes.
- [Gru gives in and hands over another dollar. The girls play, and this time, Agnes shoots a ball that hits the ship, but doesn't knock it over. The girls cheer until the sign overhead blinks the words "YOU LOSE!"; Edith grieves in disappointment]
- Gru: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! What was that? She hit that! I saw that with my own eyes!
- Carnival Barker: Hey buddy, let me explain something to you. You see that little tin spaceship? Ya see how it's not knocked over? Do you know what that means, professor? It means you don't get the unicorn! [Gru frowns] Oooh! Uh-oh, someone's got a frowny face! Boo, better luck next time!
- Gru: [when Agnes gives him a puppy dog pout] OK. My turn. [gives the Carnival Barker a dollar and the girls step aside. Gru whips out a blaster gun, aims, and fires; the Carnival Barker ducks; there is an explosion, the spaceship turns to ash and the Carnival Barker spins dizzily and hurriedly gave Agnes the fluffy unicorn in defeat] Knocked oooooooooverrr!
- Agnes: [after she is finally given the unicorn] ITS SO FLUFFY!!!!!
- Margo: That...was awesome.
- Edith: You blew up the whole thing!
- Agnes: Let's go destroy another game!
- [Gru and his daughters just came back from Super Silly Fun Land, and got their faces painted]
- Dr. Nefario: Gru, do you mind if you and I have a quick word?
- Gru: [to his daughters] Okay girls, go play! [the girls leaves off to their room; Gru approaches Dr. Nefario; in a sing-song voice] I got the shrink ray! [Dr. Nefario doesn't respond] Cotton candy?
- Dr. Nefario: We have twelve days until the moon is in optimum position. We cannot afford any distractions!
- Gru: [normal voice] Get me Perkins.
- [Gru turns on the TV which shows Mr. Perkins]
- Gru: Sorry to bother you Mr. Perkins, but I figured that you would want to see this! [shows the shrink ray] Huh? [Stuart manages to get off the couch, but Jerry, who is still sitting on it, is shrunk]
- Mr. Perkins: Well done, Gru. Rather impressive.
- Gru: Now, the rest of the plan is simple: [shows a picture] I fly to the moon. [shows another picture] I shrink the moon. [shows another picture] I grab the moon. [shows a poorly drawn picture, signed by Edith] I sit on the toi-let, what?! [the girls laugh; nervous] Sorry. Sorry! Could you, uh, excuse me for just one second? [to the girls; whisper-jells] I told you not to touch my things, I told you, I told you, I told you a thousand times!
- Margo: [not paying attention] Uh-huh. Hey, can we order pizza?
- Gru: [picks up Agnes and puts her back] Pizza? You just had lunch!
- Edith: Not now, for dinner.
- Gru: Dinner?! Just fine, fine, fine, whatever! Just get back in there.
- Margo: Oh, uh, can we get stuffed crust?
- [Gru suddenly stops with an irate look on his face]
- Edith, Agnes, Stuart, Jerry: Ooh, stuffed crust!
- Gru: I'LL STUFF YOU ALL IN THE CRUST!
- Agnes: [giggles] You're funny!
- Gru: Just don't come out of that room again! [closes the door; to Mr. Perkins] Alright. Sorry about that. Where were we?
- Mr. Perkins: You were sitting on the toilet.
- Gru: No, no, no. I'm sorry. That was a little attempt to humor. I know how much you like to laugh... [Mr. Perkins looks at him angrily] ...inside. Now I was saying... [notices the door was open]
- Mr. Perkins: You don't seem terribly focused, Gru.
- Gru: Believe me, I am completely focused. I-
- Edith: Hello? Whoa! That guy is huge!
- Agnes: Are we on TV?
- Mr. Perkins: What are those? Children?!
- Gru: [furious] What are you doing?! I told you to stay out of here! [chases the girls out of the room, then backpedals when Edith and Agnes aim the freeze ray at him] No, no, no!
- Edith: Freeze ray!
- Mr. Perkins: Mr. Gru?
- Gru: [makes karate sounds, but arrives with a frozen body, with the exception of his head, arms, and buttocks] As I was saying...
- Mr. Perkins: No need to continue, I've seen quite enough.
- Gru: But my plan--
- Mr. Perkins: Is a great plan, I love everything about your plan, except for one thing: you.
- [Gru remembers some of his memories]
- Young Gru: Look, Mom! I drew a picture of me landing on the moon!
- Gru's Mom: [looks at Gru's picture, but turns back] Ehh.
- Young Gru: Look, Mom! I made a prototype of the rocket out of macaroni!
- Gru's Mom: [looks at he macaroni prototype, but regrets] Ehh.
- Young Gru: [excitedly] Look, Mom! I made a real rocket, based on the macaroni prototype! [presses a button and sends the rocket into space]
- Gru's Mom: [looks at Gru's rocket as it flies off] Ooo... [looks back at Gru] Ehh.
- Gru: [Reality hits him; he falls down and breaks the ice encasing him; confused] I... don't understand.
- Mr. Perkins: Let's face reality, Gru. You've been at this for far too long, with far too little success. We're gonna put our faith, our money, into a...well, a younger villain.
- Gru: But I--
- Mr. Perkins: It's over. Goodbye, Gru. [crushes the apple and the TV turns off]
- Gru: [trying to put the girls in bed] Come on now. It's bed time. [to Agnes] Did you brush your teeth? [Agnes nods] Let me smell, Let me smell... [Agnes opens her mouth; sniffs, but nearly gags] You did not! [Edith suddenly lands on him] Put on your PJs. Hold still. Okay, seriously! Seriously! This is beddie-bye time, right now. I'm not kidding around. I mean it!
- Edith: But we're not tired!
- Gru: Well, I am tired!
- Agnes: [holding the book Sleepy Kittens] Will you read us a bedtime story?
- Gru: [in a deep voice] No. [attempts to leave the room]
- Agnes: Pretty please?
- Gru: The physical appearance of the please makes no difference. It is still no, so go to sleep.
- Edith: But we can't! We're all hyper!
- Margo: And without a bedtime story, we'll just keep getting up and bugging you... All night long.
- Gru: [sighs; giving in] Fine.
- Gru: [approaches Vector's base and starts pounding on the front gate] Vector! Open up!
- [A huge TV monitor appears in front of Gru, revealing Vector]
- Vector: First give me the moon, then we'll talk!
- [Gru realizes there's nothing left to do and pulls out the shrunken moon out of one of his pocket. A small tube appears out next to the main gate. Gru puts the moon in the tube which then closes automatically. The girls are trapped in a giant glass ball, Agnes calls out]
- Agnes: Mr. Gru!
- Vector: Zip it, happy meal!
- Gru: Now, the girls!
- Vector: Actually, I think I'll hold onto them a little while longer!
- Gru: No!
- Vector: Oh yeah! Unpredictable!
- [the monitor retracts]
- Gru: [trying to intimidate Vector] Listen close, you little punk! When I get in there, you are in for a world of pain!
- Vector: Oh! I'm really scared!
- [Gru punches the security camera screen, Vector catches the moon]
- Agnes: [referring to Gru after he punched; to Vector] He's gonna kick your butt.
- [The girls screaming, escape Vector's escape pod through the hatch opened by Gru's grappling hook and see Gru waiting to catch them]
- Margo: Mr. Gru, up here!
- Edith and Agnes: Mr. Gru!
- Gru: Okay, girls, girls, you're going to have to jump!
- Edith: Jump?! Are you insane?!
- Gru: Don't worry! I'll catch you!
- Margo: You gave us back.
- Gru: I know, I know! And it is the worst mistake I've ever made! But you have to jump now!
- Margo: [realizing that Gru will always be there for them; to her younger siblings] It will be okay.
- [the girls go down carefully with Margo still hanging on the ship]
- Gru: Okay, girls.
- [Agnes lets go off Margo's hand and holds Edith's]
- Margo: Jump now!
- [Edith and Agnes scream while jumping, Gru catches them; Margo, however, still feels unsure]
- Gru: Margo, I will catch you! And I'll never let you go again!
- [Margo sees Gru waiting to catch her, but as she was trying to jump, Vector snatched her]
- Vector: Not so fast!
- Gru: No!
- Margo: [struggling] Let me go!
- [As Vector was about to fire the piranha gun, the moon suddenly pushes him and Margo from behind]
- Gru: Margo!
- Margo: [grabbing the grappling hook] Woah!
- Gru: [while trying to keep balance] I'm coming, Margo. Hang on!
- [the change of altitude makes it difficult for Gru to keep balance. Also, the growing moon aggravates the Minions' grip of the hook, causing it to rip off and Gru and Margo scream while falling down, when all of a sudden, the Minions saved them just in time from plummeting death]
- Gru: I got you!
- Gru: Okay, girls, time for bed.
- Edith: Ah, come on, we want a story.
- Agnes: [excited] Three Sleepy Kittens!
- Gru: Oh no, sorry, that book was accidentally destroyed maliciously.
- [Kyle groans]
- Gru: Tonight, we are going to read a new book. [shows his homemade book, One Big Unicorn, to the girls] This one is called: One Big Unicorn. By, who wrote it? Oh, me! I wrote it! [opens the book] Oh, look, it's a puppet book. Hey, watch this. [sticks his nose in a small hole] That's the horn.
- [the girls laugh along with Gru]
- Agnes: This is gonna be the best book ever.
- Gru: Not to pat myself on the back, but yes, it probably will be. [opens the book] Here we go.
"One big unicorn, strong and free,
thought he was happy as he could be."
"Until three little kittens came around
and turned his whole life upside down."
- Edith: [points to the page] Hey, that one looks like me!
- Gru: [pulls back the book] No, what are you talking about? These are kittens. Any relation to persons living or dead is completely coincidental. [continues reading]
"They made him laugh, [laughs]
they made him cry." [sighs]
"He never should have said goodbye."
"And now he knows he could never part,
from those three little kittens that changed his hearts." [beats]
[closes the book] Okay, alright, good night.
- [as Gru attempts to leave the girls bedroom, he first gives Agnes and Edith a good-night kiss, but as he's about to give a kiss to Margo, she gives Gru a big hug]
- Margo: I love you.
- Gru: [whispers] I love you too.
- Superbad, Superdad
- Some call him bad, they call him dad. (British tagline)
- Who's afraid of the Big Bad Gru? (French tagline)
- Happy Fathers' Day
- Just because he's a bad guy, doesn't mean he's a bad guy.
- From Chris Meledandri, executive producer of Ice Age, Ice Age 2 and Horton Hears A Who.
- What if the world's greatest super-villain, was also your dad?
- His gadgets, despicable ... his tiny army, despicable... his new family, not despicable.
- It's hard to balance work and family, but this summer, one dad will give it his best shot.
- Steve Carell — Mr. Felonious Gru (voice)
- Jason Segel — Victor "Vector" Perkins (voice)
- Russell Brand — Dr. Nefario (voice)
- Julie Andrews — Marlena (voice)
- Will Arnett — Mr. Perkins (voice)
- Kristen Wiig — Miss Hattie (voice)
- Miranda Cosgrove — Margo (voice)
- Dana Gaier — Edith (voice)
- Elsie Fisher — Agnes (voice)
- Pierre Coffin — Tim / Bob / Mark / Phil / Stuart (voices)
- Chris Renaud — Dave (voice)
- Jemaine Clement — Jerry (voice)
- Jack McBrayer — Tourist Father / Carnival Barker (voices)
- Ken Jeong — Talk Show Host (voice)
- Danny McBride — Fred McDade (voice)
- Mindy Kaling — Tourist Mother (voice)
- Rob Huebel — Anchorman / Newscaster (voices)
- Ken Daurio — Egyptian Guard (voice)