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Anger management

psycho-therapeutic program for anger prevention and control

Anger management is a psycho-therapeutic program for anger prevention and control. Anger is frequently a result of frustration, or of feeling blocked or thwarted from something the subject feels is important. Anger can also be a defensive response to underlying fear or feelings of vulnerability or powerlessness.

Anyone can become angry, that is easy...but to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way...this is not easy. ~ Aristotle
When anger rises, think of the consequences. ~ Confucius
Let there be no hostility Except to those who practice oppression. ~Qur'an
It is not enough for people to be angry—the supreme task is to organize and unite people so that their anger becomes a transforming force. ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.

Quotes

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  • Anyone can become angry, that is easy...but to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way...this is not easy.
  • We will first speak how the natural inclination and habit to be angry may be attempered and calmed. Secondly, how the particular motions of anger may be repressed, or at least refrained from doing mischief. Thirdly, how to raise anger or appease anger in another. For the first; there is no other way but to meditate and ruminate well upon the effects of anger, how it troubles man's life. And the best time to do this, is to look back upon anger when the fit is thoroughly over. Seneca saith well, That anger is like ruin, which breaks itself upon that it falls.
  • Anger is certainly a kind of baseness; as it appears well in the weakness of those subjects in whom it reigns; children, women, old folks, sick folks. Only men must beware that they carry their anger rather with scorn than with fear; so that they may seem rather to be above the injury than below it; which is a thing easily done, if a man will give law to himself in it.
  • By doing this you are like a man who wants to hit another and picks up a burning ember or excrement in his hand and so first burns himself or makes himself stink.
  • When anger rises, think of the consequences.
    • Confucius, as quoted in Yu-p'u Wang The Sacred Edict: Containing Sixteen Maxims of the Emperor Kang-He (1817), p. 298.
  • I have a friend who, whenever he becomes agitated, enters the breathing room in his home. He sits down respectfully, breathes in and out three times, invites the bell to sound, and recites the gatha. Immediately he feels better. If he needs to sit longer, he stays there. From time to time, while his wife is preparing dinner, she hears the sound of the bell, and it reminds her to be mindful in her work. At such times, she deeply appreciates her husband. "He is so wonderful, quite different from others. He knows how to deal with anger." If she has been irritated, her own resentment subsides. Sometimes she stops cutting vegetables and goes into the breathing room to sit with him. This picture is so lovely, more beautiful than an expensive painting.
  • Doing things in this way has a good effect on everyone, teaching by example, not just with words. When your child is agitated, you don't have to say, "Go to that room!" You can take his or her hand and walk together into the room for breathing, and sit quietly together. This is the best education for peace.
  • When you understand the roots of anger in yourself and in the other, your mind will enjoy true peace, joy and lightness
    • Teachings on Love (2005) ISBN|81-7621-167-2
  • When you feel anger arising, remember to return to your breathing and follow it. The other person may see that you are practicing, and she may even apologize.
  • Mr. President, I think that if you could allow yourself to cry like I did this morning, you will also feel much better. It is our brothers that we kill over there. They are our brothers, God tells us so, and we also know it. They may not see us as brothers because of their anger, their misunderstanding, and their discrimination. But with some awakening, we can see things in a different way, and this will allow us to respond differently to the situation. I trust God in you; I trust Buddha nature in you.
  • Negroes will be mentally healthier if they do not suppress rage but vent it constructively and its energy peacefully but forcefully to cripple the operations of an oppressive society.
  • Don’t become angry over little things: there are enough big ones.
    • Donn Kushner, A Book Dragon, chapter 2
  • Do you fume when someone cuts you off in traffic? Does your blood pressure rocket when your child refuses to cooperate? Anger is a normal and even healthy emotion — but it's important to deal with it in a positive way. Uncontrolled anger can take a toll on both your health and your relationships.
  • Ready to get your anger under control? Start by considering these 10 anger management tips.
  1. Think before you speak
  2. Once you're calm, express your anger
  3. Get some exercise
  4. Take a timeout
  5. Identify possible solutions
  6. Stick with 'I' statements
  7. Don't hold a grudge
  8. Use humor to release tension
  9. Practice relaxation skills
  10. Know when to seek help
  • The goal of anger management isn’t to not feel angry at all, but to recognize when it crops up and identify a productive way of addressing it... One of the biggest warning signs that you might be experiencing an unhealthy amount of anger or you’re not dealing with anger in a healthy way is friends, family or other people in your life noticing it and telling you about it... And notice if you are unusually quick to become angry in response to routine situations (traffic, crowds, a mistake on a coffee or sandwich order), you frequently feel angry, you have trouble letting go of anger, or you have trouble forgiving yourself or others... the goal of good anger management isn’t not feeling angry at all. It’s recognizing when anger crops up, identifying a productive way of addressing the feelings that cause it, and doing that productive thing. Golden describes healthy anger management as “the capacity to pause and think about how to respond to anger rather than react to it.”
  • Put away from yourselves every kind of malicious bitterness, anger, wrath, screaming, and abusive speech, as well as everything injurious.
  • Let there be no hostility
    Except to those
    Who practice oppression.
  • All inner resistance is experienced as negativity in one form or another. All negativity is resistance. In this context, the two words are almost synonymous. Negativity ranges from irritation or impatience to fierce anger, from a depressed mood or sullen resentment to suicidal despair. Sometimes the resistance triggers the emotional pain-body, in which case even a minor situation may produce intense negativity, such as anger, depression, or deep grief. The ego believes that through negativity it can manipulate reality and get what it wants. It believes that through it, it can attract a desirable condition or dissolve an undesirable one.
    • Eckhart Tolle in The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment (1997) p. 119

See also

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