Last modified on 24 April 2015, at 05:42

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., or simply Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., is an American television series created for ABC by Joss Whedon, Jed Whedon and Maurissa Tancharoen, based on the Marvel Comics organization S.H.I.E.L.D. (Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division)

Season 1Edit

Pilot [1.01]Edit

Maria Hill: What does S.H.I.E.L.D. stand for, Agent Ward?
Grant Ward: Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division.
Maria Hill: And what does that mean to you?
Grant Ward: It means someone really wanted our initials to spell out "shield." [Hill gives him a look] ...It means we're the line between the world and the much weirder world. We protect people from news they aren't ready to hear. And when we can't do that, we keep them safe.

Maria Hill: Everything's changing. A little while ago, most people went to bed thinking that the craziest thing in the world was a billionaire in a flying metal suit. Then aliens invade New York then were beaten back by, among others, a giant green monster, a costumed hero from the 40's, and a god.
Grant Ward: I don't think Thor's technically a god.
Maria Hill: Well, you haven't been near his arms.

Skye: With great power comes...a ton of weird crap that you are not prepared to deal with!

[Coulson and Ward are interrogating Skye]
Phil Coulson: This is QMB-T16. It's the top-shelf martini of sodium-penthasol derivatives. It's a very potent and extremely fast-acting truth drug. Don't worry, effects only last about an hour.
Grant Ward: And then you'll have a nice little nap. And we'll know everything... [Coulson injects Ward with the serum] Gah, what the hell?!
Phil Coulson: I'm sorry, did that hurt?
Grant Ward: ...No. But you've lost your mind. You should never do that do a fellow member of your team. And yes, it did hurt a little bit. But I always try to mask my pain in front of beautiful women because I think it makes me seem more masculine- my God this stuff works fast.
Phil Coulson: [To Skye] Still don't trust us? Ask him whatever you like. [Leaves the room]
Grant Ward: Wait a can't just... THIS IS DEFINITELY NOT PROTOCOL!!

Mike Peterson: [to Coulson] You said if we worked hard, if we did right, we'd have a place. You said it was enough to be a man. But there's better than man. There's gods. And the rest of us? What are we? They're giants. We're what they step on.

0-8-4 [1.02]Edit

Skye: Usually one person doesn't solve the solution, but 100 people with 1% of the solution that will get it done. I think that's beautiful, pieces solving a puzzle.
Grant Ward: You and I see the world differently.

Grant Ward: Where's your side arm?
Melinda May: If I need a gun, I'll take one.
Grant Ward: Right, I forgot I was working with "The Cavalry."
Melinda May: Don't ever call me that.
[Later, caught in a standoff with Peruvian soldiers]
Grant Ward: You should've taken more guns.

Skye: I don't even know where we are going.
Phil Coulson: Peru. That's where the 0-8-4 was reported.
Skye: And an 0-8-4 is?
Phil Coulson: Object of unknown origin, kind of like you. Team goes in, determines if it's useful or poses a threat. Last one turned out to be pretty interesting.
Skye: What was the last one?
Phil Coulson: A hammer.

Skye: Sweet ride.
Phil Coulson: I earned a little good will from Director Fury when I got hit right before the battle of New York.
Skye: You took a bullet?
Phil Coulson: "ish".

Leo Fitz: Are you mental? I did explain what I meant using the Queen's bloody English!
Grant Ward: I use normal English. Words like "duck" and "run" and "might blow us to pieces."
Leo Fitz: Congratulations, Agent Ward, you managed to string three words together in a sentence.

The Asset [1.03]Edit

Grant Ward: There will come a moment when you have to commit to this or bail. Every field agent has a defining moment. Ask Coulson. When you have to make the hard call to either dedicate yourself to this or to curl up in a ball and run.

Phil Coulson: You forget, I saw plenty of action with the Avengers. [Walks away]
Melinda May: [Quietly, to herself] And you died.

Ian Quinn: Many of you shareholders have been with us for years, and I see a few new names here, but I want to thank you all for traveling so far to this beautiful country and, well, for slumming it at Shaba Tal-Banar. This country where we are allowed to pursue progress and profit without the stranglehold of regulations that are now choking our world. The United States government, the R.U., the DRTC, S.H.I.E.L.D. These are just a few of the institutions that are guilty of halting the development of new technology for anyone except themselves. We dare defy them with a new idea, they steal in and sweep it out from under us. But not today.

Franklin Hall: I've seen the future, Mr. Coulson, and it's a catastrophe.

Franklin Hall: They won't understand the good I did here.
Phil Coulson: Killing innocent people?
Franklin Hall: Saving millions. We have to live with the choices we make, but sometimes we have to die with them, too.

Eye Spy [1.04]Edit

Melinda May: Bus to short bus.
Grant Ward: Go for short bus.
Phil Coulson: Next time I'll decide what we call ourselves, ok?

Skye: So you asked how she could have cracked the system. I have a pitch, but it's way outside the box.
Phil Coulson: I live outside the box.

Skye: What's up Phil?
Phil Coulson: I prefer you not call me Phil.
Skye: Ok, you're the boss, AC.

Phil Coulson: Have you seen Skye?
Grant Ward: Not since weapons training.
Phil Coulson: She stop saying "bang" when she pulls the trigger?
Grant Ward: Mostly. Now if she can just learn the difference between the safety release and the magazine release, we will be making real progress.

[Fitz and Ward are playing poker on the plane]
Grant Ward: ...I call, and raise a hundred.
Leo Fitz: Do you know how I'm gonna beat you?
Grant Ward: By losing?
Leo Fitz: You have a tell. A psychological tick that lets me know you're bluffing. If I watch you carefully... [Louder, into his earpiece] If I watch you carefully...
Skye: Oh, sorry. One minute. [Grabs the eye-spy x-ray glasses] You know that if I do this, I'll not only see Ward's cards, I'll see you without any clothes on?
Leo Fitz: ...I fold, you win. [Leaves]

Girl in the Flower Dress [1.05]Edit

Skye: Did you just give me a compliment?
Grant Ward: I - no, I made a comment.
Skye: A kind one. Did it physically hurt to do that? Do you need an ice pack?
[Ward smiles]
Skye: Wow! A compliment and a smile.

Raina: I come as a friend.
Chan Ho Yin: English isn't my first language, but that word means something different than you think.

Melinda May: His file say anything about him being homicidal?
Phil Coulson: Just said he was kind of a tool.

Chan Ho Yin: Poor little Chan Ho Yin may have believed your lies, but not Scorch!
Melinda May: Who?
Phil Coulson: Oh, crap. They gave him a name.

Edison Po: [to Raina] We all have to do things that make us uncomfortable If we are ever to get our toy soldiers off the shelf.

F.Z.Z.T. [1.06]Edit

Jemma Simmons: Working up a good sweat there, sir?
Phil Coulson: I don't sweat. I glisten.

Jemma Simmons: Well, you can officially tell your physical therapist that you're fit as the proverbial fiddle, especially for a man of your age.
Phil Coulson: A man of my age? That's something you say to an old person.
Jemma Simmons: [nervous] Is it?

Grant Ward: I wanted it to be a person, some superpowered psychopath someone I could hurt, someone I could punish. That I could do. What I can't do is protect you guys from stuff I can't even see or understand.

Jemma Simmons: I suppose now's as good a time as any to tell you that I may have misled you earlier. You see, when I gave you back the night-night pistol, I lied. It's still an ounce off.
Grant Ward: I know.
Jemma Simmons: You do? Of course.
Grant Ward: After all...[imitating the others imitating him] I'm Agent Grant Ward. I just jumped out of a plane without a parachute on and saved your life!
Jemma Simmons: [laughing] Actually, that's not quite it. It's a bit more nasally than that.

The Hub [1.07]Edit

[Coulson, Ward, and May are being briefed on a special assignment to disarm a nuclear device]
Victoria Hand: I need a two man team to sneak over the border, find the device, and disarm it within the next 48 hours. And you have two people who fit my bill.
Melinda May: Ready to go.
Grant Ward: I was in Georgia when the incurson occured. I still have contacts on the other side of the border.
Victoria Hand: And you'll need them. But, we don't have specs on the device, so I need someone on your team who can recognize and dismantle it on sight.
Grant Ward: ...Do you mean...
Phil Coulson: I think she does...
[Camera cuts to the commons area, where Fitz is arriving to meet Simmons and Skye with a cart full of tech. The door opens.]
Leo Fitz: I found a localized EMP, plus a few other party favors. [The door closes when the cart's halfway through] Oh, come on. What the... Open. It's stuck. [Coulson, Ward, and May arrive] The cart's stuck. [Fitz pulls open the door and turns back to the front of the cart] That's unbelieveable. [The door closes again] WHAT THE HELL?! Who designed this?! In the Hub, of all places! [He shoves the cart out the door, which closes on him.] Oh, that's... [Door closes, cutting off his voice]
Grant Ward: ...Seriously?

Grant Ward: [disables an enemy and sees more arriving] Fitz! More Border Patrol!
[Fitz has already gotten out of the truck and started running]
Leo Fitz: I'm already moving! HURRY UP!

Leo Fitz: [surprised after kicking a bad guy in the face] I just did that.
Grant Ward: [equally surprised] Yeah...
Leo Fitz: Let's go.

Leo Fitz: This is gonna take a while.
Grant Ward: You have ten minutes.
Leo Fitz: I thought you'd say five.

Jemma Simmons: [to Skye] I can't be a part of your bad-girl shenanigans! I like following the rules and doing what's expected of me! It makes me feel nice!

The Well [1.08]Edit

Phil Coulson: I can't think of a single time when anything alien in human hands ended well.
Skye: Wouldn't mind getting my human hands on Thor. He's so dreamy.
Phil Coulson: Sure, he's handsome, but -
Melinda May: [interrupting] No. He's dreamy.

Elliott Randolph: Recent events have thrown us all for a loop. I thought I was teaching Norse mythology. No, turns out I'm a history professor.

Phil Coulson: So, the myth is your autobiography.
Elliott Randolph: I didn't write it. I didn't want anyone to know about me. Then I had to open my big mouth.
Phil Coulson: Were you captured? Tortured?
Elliott Randolph: Horny. I met a French girl in 1546. Ah, she loved stories. So I told her a great one, all about the peaceful Asgardian warrior who stayed. Now, how was I to know her brother the priest would write it all down and turn it into, I don't know, a thing?
Phil Coulson: Do you know Thor?
Elliott Randolph: Oh, sure, I spent all my days palling around with the future King of Asgard. No, I don't know Thor. I was a mason. I broke rocks.

Repairs [1.09]Edit

Leo Fitz: No! You do not touch that! Two semesters minimum of holographic engineering before you touch this!
Skye: All right, All right. I get it. I didn't go to your stupid SHIELD Hogwarts or whatever.

Melinda May: People believe what they want to believe to justify their actions.

Skye: You can catch a lot more flies with honey than with napalm.

Phil Coulson: May used to be different. She was always quiet, she just...she was warm. Fearless in a different way, getting in trouble, pulling pranks, thought rules were meant to be broken. Sound familiar? But when she walked out of that building it was like that part of her was gone. I tried to comfort her, but she wouldn't tell me what went down in there.
Skye: What did you say?
Phil Coulson: I said the words I thought she needed to hear.

The Bridge [1.10]Edit

Mike Peterson: Did I beat Captain America's time?
Trainer: Not even close.

Grant Ward: I'm just saying this could easily go sideways. The last time we saw this guy he was a raging homicidal maniac... [Mike walks up] He's standing right behind me, isn't he?

Edison Po: I spoke with the Clairvoyant.
Raina: And?
Edison Po: I'll share the information when the time is right.
Raina: I would love to hear much more than just information. Will you tell me what he's like?
Edison Po: Never. The last person who tried to learn these things got a knife for it. I don't want to have to do that again, Raina. You have such pretty eyes.

Melinda May: [to Skye] The truth is you have to decide why you're here. We have a mission, and it's not to find your parents. If you can't put aside your personal attachments, then you shouldn't be here!

Raina: I don't believe I've had the pleasure.
Phil Coulson: Lucky for you.

The Magical Place [1.11]Edit

Skye: You made me a sandwich?
Jemma Simmons: [with great emphasis] Yes, it is that!

Victoria Hand: No single agent is that important.

Raina: Now, after all you've sacrificed -
Phil Coulson: Sacrifice is part of the job. I would give my life -
Raina: You didn't just give your life, you gave up your chance at a normal one, at love. And she did love you, Agent Coulson.
Phil Coulson: How could you know that?
Raina: Do you miss her? Dinners at the Richmond. Do you miss hearing her play?

Phil Coulson: One thing before we start: what is it with the flowers?
Raina: Who doesn't like flowers?

Phil Coulson: I heard what you did for me. I think it's time that we remove this.
[Talks to her wrist binder]
Phil Coulson: Disengage bracelet.
[Bracelet comes off]
Skye: Are you kidding me?
Phil Coulson: I thought you'd like that.

Seeds [1.12]Edit

Leo Fitz: Is science and technology what you imagined, Agent Ward?
Grant Ward: Yep. No uniforms, no rope course, no defined muscularity on anyone.
Leo Fitz: No marching in place, no I.Q.s in double digits.

Skye: "Bad seed" isn’t a S.H.I.E.L.D. term, Ward. Just a term.

Jemma Simmons: Today, we'd like to share a few stories from the field in which we learned this lesson up close and faced the consequences when untested technology or biology lands in the wrong hands. And don't worry we brought pictures.

Phil Coulson: We need to root out all the secrets.
Melinda May: Agent Ward and I have been having sex.

Donnie Gill: It's true what the other guys say - you are the smartest person to come through here.
Leo Fitz: Is that what they say? Yeah? Well, Simmons is probably smarter, technically, but that - that's just because she likes homework more than life itself.

T.R.A.C.K.S. [1.13]Edit

Phil Coulson: Let me get that.
Jemma Simmons: Oh. Thanks, Dad...who looks far too young to have a daughter my age.

Leo Fitz: How's your Scottish accent?
Skye: [in a poor Scottish accent] I don't know. You tell me how great it is, laddie.
Leo Fitz: [in a perfect American accent] American, then.

Leo Fitz: [to Skye] You're the least supportive pretend girlfriend I've ever had.

Jemma Simmons: [arguing with Coulson, pretending to act as his daughter] All mom ever wanted was your love. To be with you! In our two-story Victorian home in the Cotswolds! But could you even give her a moment, what with your banking job requiring you to travel to the States from Tuesday to Saturday every other week? No!
Passenger: [interrupts] Excuse me, ma'am, I'm personally sorry for your loss. [turns towards Coulson] As for you, this is your chance to do better.
Phil Coulson: I understand. [the passenger walks away]
Jemma Simmons: He's right. You never had time for her, but you had time for your work! And your prostitutes!

Skye: Fitz, have you ever heard of an 0-8-4 being a person?
Leo Fitz: No, but I suppose it's possible. I'd hate to meet the guy.

T.A.H.I.T.I. [1.14]Edit

Phil Coulson: Garrett? What the hell are you doing here?
John Garrett: Well, as opposed to the Level 8 jackass I'm staring at, I still follow orders.
Phil Coulson: You're the worst at following orders.

Antoine Triplett: How did Coulson score such a sweet ride?
Grant Ward: He died.
Antoine Triplett: That’s tight.

John Garrett: Well, I'm a bit of a sweet talker when I need to be. [about Ward] You wouldn't believe what I could talk this son of a gun into.

Ian Quinn: My head's still ringing from the last visitor.
John Garrett: At least the last visitor left you with a head. I'm not always that considerate. I'm interested in one of your newer projects.
Ian Quinn: Hmm? Oh, but there are so many to choose from.
John Garrett: Let me be clear: you have no rights. You have no lawyer. The only thing keeping Agent Coulson here from throwing you out of this plane is the very weak heartbeat of a young agent downstairs, and the only incentive I have for not tearing your tongue out is that you use it to answer my questions. Is that clear?

Leo Fitz: Comms are down. There's too much mountain on top of us.
John Garrett: Trust me - it's better. You don't want them hearing the horrible death we're walking into.
[Fitz gives a worried stare]
John Garrett: Humor, son. You Brits are too serious. Besides, if the job was easy...
Grant Ward: It wouldn't be fun.
Leo Fitz: I'm not afraid - not yet.

Yes Men [1.15]Edit

Jasper Sitwell: You know, usually when a friend wants a favor they do something nice. Takes me to a nice restaraunt, buys me a bottle of wine.
Phil Coulson: Want to go to a movie? Hold hands? Okay, but I need to ask you a question first.
Jasper Sitwell: I don't know where director Fury is. Don't be so shocked. For a quiet guy you make a lot of noise. How many favors have you called in?
Phil Coulson: Clearly not enough.
Jasper Sitwell: Something I can help you with? [Coulson stays quiet] Fine, but Fury is a high level agent who is off grid. You don't find him unless he wants to find you. You did something like that once too. Remember? I never asked you. How was Tahiti?
Phil Coulson: It sucked.

[Lady Sif sees Coulson, whom she belived dead]
Lady Sif: What dark magic is this? Thor said you perished at the hand of Loki.
Phil Coulson: And he was right. For a while anyway. But Loki wasn't the only one with some tricks up his sleeve. Turns out S.H.I.E.L.D. had a few of their own.
Sif: Thor will be pleased to hear it. He considers you a friend.
Phil Coulson: I feel the same. Which is why I prefer he hear it from me, if that's okay.

Lorelei: I wanted gold! You bring me paper?
Rooster: It's cash. It's like gold. This is the currency here.
Lorelei: [points at a $100 bill] And who's this ugly women?
Rooster: That's... uh... that's Ben Franklin. He used to be president. He used to rule this whole country.
Lorelei: And women can rule your land? Can they not?
Rooster: You'd be the first.
Lorelei: Yes. I will.

[Coulson discusses how to catch Ward and Lorelei]
Skye: What can I do? And don't you dare say "nothing" or tell me to sit down here and count ceiling tiles while Ward is missing.
Phil Coulson: Ward's got drop boxes and storage lockers all over the world. They're filled with currency, weapons, ID's. He's gonna use aliases, cash, anything to keep Lorelei off the radar. You're the best radar we have. Find them.

[Sif has Lorelei at sword point]
Lorelei: Kill me. I'd rather die than go back to that place.
Sif: You'll not get off that easy.
Lorelei: Why? It's what you want. I can see it in your eyes. Or would you rather hear about how the man you loved followed me around like a dog? Hear of his touch? His kiss? The look in his eyes when I...
[Sif silences Lorelei with the collar]
Sif: You were saying?

End of the Beginning [1.16]Edit

Jemma Simmons: We'd like to send a blood sample of yours to some colleagues to do a molecular breakdown. Maybe if you spoke to Agent Coulson...
Skye: Yeah, I don't think that's a good idea. If Coulson thinks it's important that this thing stays between us, then we should trust him, right? He's the boss.
Jemma Simmons: So you're saying we should obey the rules?
Leo Fitz: Who are you and what have you done with Skye?

Felix Blake: You a scorpio? I was just wondering why our newest agent paired the two of us together. Must have thought we were compatible in some way.
Melinda May: It was random, Blake.
Felix Blake: You seem like a scorpio.
Melinda May: You don't believe in the Clairvoyant, but you believe in astrology.
Felix Blake: I have some theories of my own.

Felix Blake: Mr. Peterson... stop. You have a son - Ace. He needs you. We can still help you, Mike.
Deathlok: Mike Peterson's dead.

Victoria Hand: The plan was flawed from the start.
John Garrett: Come on, Vic. The plan was solid.
Victoria Hand: We have an agent down because we weren't prepared.
John Garrett: Blake knew the risks.
Victoria Hand: And don't call me "Vic." - It's condescending.

John Garrett: Impressive toy.
Leo Fitz: I prefer the term "hard-tech hardware."

Turn, Turn, Turn [1.17]Edit

Victoria Hand: You got something to say, Agent Shaw?
Shaw: Apologies, ma'am. I'm just having a hard time killing the people we once called friends.
Victoria Hand: Once that encoded transmission went out, everything changed. You understand that, don't you? We swore allegiance to each other. And today, that loyalty will be tested. If you waver you die.

Victoria Hand: The worst thing you can do right now is to underestimate Hydra. They hide in plain sight. They earn our trust, our sympathy. They make us like them. And when you hesitate, they strike. If we're to survive, we must learn to strike first.

Phil Coulson: Fury would bury you for this.
John Garrett: Probably. Instead, he'll just have to roll over in his grave.

Phil Coulson: You really believe all that crap spreading death and destruction?
John Garrett: I wouldn't say I'm a true believer. Let's just say I felt the wind changing direction and swung my sail.

John Garrett: As for you, Agent Fitz, you'll hold a very high rank, run our tech division if you volunteer. If not, you'll have no rank and a lot of pain. Of course, either way, your services will be required.
Leo Fitz: You're gonna suffer for what you've done. And I I plan on being a very big part of that.
John Garrett: [chuckles] I like you, kid.

Providence [1.18]Edit

Raina: You're not Clairvoyant?
John Garrett: Hardly. But if it's any consolation, you weren't alone in believing, not by a long shot.
Raina: So you're a liar. You're a fraud.
John Garrett: An artist. A con artist, perhaps, but an artist all the same. Had to pull the wool over S.H.I.E.L.D.'s eyes somehow to do what we set out to do. Remember what that was?
Raina: To change the world.
John Garrett: Why don't you take a seat and let me show you how we're doing that? Oh, don't worry. I wouldn't dream of letting Ernesto cut your hair.
[Raina takes a seat in the barber's chair]
John Garrett: [leaning in with a smile] Welcome to Hydra.

Phil Coulson: Skye, please tell me something good.
Skye: We have internet.
Phil Coulson: Yay! And boy, have I lowered my expectations.

Phil Coulson: Nick Fury gave me this badge. When he did, I swore an oath, we all did. To serve when everything else fails, to be humanity's last line of defence, to be the shield.

John Garrett: Once we hit the fridge and grab all the fun toys tucked away inside we'll be able to take any base we want.
Kaminsky: [Lifts both hands straight in a Nazi salute] Hail HYDRA!
John Garrett: Alright, alright, put your arms down Kaminsky, you look like a West Texas cheerleader at pep rally.

Phil Coulson: Fury sent us these coordinates for a reason.
Melinda May: And what reason is that?
Phil Coulson: [snapping] I don't know, May! I don't know! There's got to be something here! This means something! This has to mean something! The world needs us! Hydra is out there! We cannot let them win! We we cannot let them define us! Do you understand that? We are not agents of nothing! We are agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., and that still carries weight! It has to carry weight! After everything we've been through, that carries weight!

The Only Light in the Darkness [1.19]Edit

Phil Coulson: Yeah, we're safe here. But what about everyone else? The people that don't happen to have access to a top secret, underground shelter? What about them? I don't know if it's wise, but it's right. I'm taking a team, and that's the end of it.

Agent Eric Koenig: So you're not gonna mention your grandfather?
Antoine Triplett: It's not something I advertise. Didn't want to be treated any different because I'm a legacy.
Eric Koenig: If I was the grandson of a Howling Commando, I'd have that tattooed on my chest.

Eric Koenig: What's the difference between an egg and a rock?
Melinda May: Edible. Not.
Leo Fitz: Well, that's absurd. The differences are-
Jemma Simmons: -innumerable. If you want, I can start listing them but then-
Leo Fitz: -we'll be here all day.

Eric Koenig: You wash up on a deserted island alone. Sitting on the sand is a box. What is in that box?
Melinda May: Machete.
Antoine Triplett: A sat phone so I can call someone to get me off that island.
Leo Fitz: How big is the box?
Eric Koenig: Just say the first answer that comes into your mind. What's in that box?
Leo Fitz: Simmons.
Jemma Simmons: That's a hard one. Let me think. The TARDIS.
Skye: I want to say my laptop, fully charged. But I don't want to seem subversive - with the Rising Tide and all...
Eric Koenig: You're over-thinking it.
Skye: The laptop would be stupid, anyway. There's no wi-fi.

Eric Koenig: The NSA. You want to hack the NSA? That's a bad idea, Skye. That's a terrible idea. The NSA's already got S.H.I.E.L.D. on its watch list. Why poke the bear - the big, scary, waterboarding bear?

Nothing Personal [1.20]Edit

Maria Hill: [to the numerous agents surrounding her] 3 minutes and 20 seconds. Really? If you were my agents, it wouldn't be for long.

Phil Coulson: [to Talbot] If I come out, will you shoot me? 'Cause then I won't come out.
Glenn Talbot: Hold your fire, soldiers.

Antoine Triplett: We're not Hydra. We're agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.
Glenn Talbot: Well, right now, to the rest of the world, that's the same thing.

Skye: Think about all that time he spent as your S.O., getting to know you, being your mentor only to lie to your face, betray you like that.
Grant Ward: It was, uh, difficult to accept. But thankfully, that's over.
Skye: Because you took care of him.
Grant Ward: Can we not discuss this right now?
Skye: If you had one more moment before you shot him in the back of the head so heroically, if he was sitting right here and you could say anything you want, what would you say?
Grant Ward: Skye-
Skye: Would you say he's disgusting? Would you tell him he's a disgusting, backstabbing traitor? Or to rot in hell?
Grant Ward: What are you doing?
Skye: I'm just trying to have an honest conversation for once.

Skye: You think I don't want to watch him suffer?
Deathlok: Not suffer. Die. Garrett doesn't think you're gonna let that happen.
Skye: He's a murderer.
Deathlok: Yes, he is. Are you?

Ragtag [1.21]Edit

Phil Coulson: We have no authority to do this. We're no longer S.H.I.E.L.D. agents. We're...
Leo Fitz: We're vigilantes.
Phil Coulson: I was gonna say, "doing this because it's the right thing to do," but... yeah.

Phil Coulson: So if you're with me, I'm gonna finish what I started. I'll be damned if I'm going to let Garrett and Ward get away with murder. And I want my plane back.

Grant Ward: I could've crossed off that drug lord without getting my picture taken. Single shot, half a mile away.
John Garrett: You're missing the point. I didn't want to just cross him off, I wanted to make a spectacle. People are killed by guns everyday in Bogota. But how often does a monster punch a drug lord's head clean off? Hell, that's international news!

Phil Coulson: Skye, Trip, get ready for a large file transfer.
Skye: How large?
[A filing cabinet comes crashing out the window]

Skye: You know, I never gave you enough credit for this whole zen-warrior thing. But I got to admit, it'd be nice to feel nothing right now.
Melinda May: You think I don't feel anything?
Skye: Look at you. You're a statue. And you and Ward had a thing. So if anyone should be furious...
Melinda May: I am. I'm furious. But I'm sure as hell not gonna waste it on a tantrum. I'm gonna mine it, save it. And when we find Ward, I'm gonna use every bit of it to take him down.
Skye: Wish I knew how to use that hate-fu.
Melinda May: I'm up most mornings at five.

Beginning of the End [1.22]Edit

Phil Coulson: Backup isn't coming. It will be just the four of us. We'll be out-manned and outgunned, but Fury always said a man can accomplish anything when he realizes he's a part of something bigger. A team of people that share that conviction can change the world. So what do you say? Are you ready to change the world?
Melinda May: No. I'm ready to kick some ass.
Phil Coulson: That works, too.

Antoine Triplett: Sir, I bring the noise and the funk wherever I go.

John Garrett: You hear the dying breath of an old world, general, and a new world is coming. I've tasted it on my tongue.
Jacobs: [pause] This is your strategy consultant?
Ian Quinn: He's...part time.

John Garrett: Fury. Well, hell. When was the last time anyone saw a tag team wrestling match with four dead guys?
Phil Coulson: I only see one dead guy in here.
John Garrett: Oh, the power's all on this side of the room, fellas. Phil, I'm surprised you'd try and stop me. Course, I don't blame you, Nick. You haven't seen the big picture. The big bang. The timeless frozen ocean, but Phil here has. We share a bond. We're blood brothers.
Nick Fury: You didn't tell me he'd gone this crazy.
Phil Coulson: He's really stepped it up a notch.

[An injured Garrett puts on the new Deathlok armor.]
John Garrett: There's a reason why they say, "Cut off the head." Now, I'll be unsto- :[Coulson vaporizes Garrett with the 0-8-4 from Peru.]
Phil Coulson: Hey, guys. I found it. I told you it'd be in here.

Season 2Edit

Shadows [2.01]Edit

Jim Morita: Guten Tag boys. Alright, nice and calm, no sudden moves or we'll tie a blasting cap to your—hey Dugan, what's the German word for nuts?
Dum Dum Dugan: I don't know, Jim. But tie a blasting cap to him, I bet we'll hear it.

Peggy Carter: These assets are now under the protection of the Strategic Scientific Reserve. They'll be hidden out of sight, indefinitely... as will you.
HYDRA Officer: Cut off one head, two more shall grow in it's place.
Peggy Carter: Then I guess we'll keep cutting them off.

Phil Coulson: You've said in your numerous public appearances that you have a facility where you're storing the technology and prisoners captured in the S.H.I.E.L.D. raids, yes?
Glenn Talbot: Yeah, I'm flattered you keep up with my press.

Phil Coulson: We have to fight on for him, for those we've lost. We have to take risks, so that the sacrifices they made were not made in vain, and then we'll disappear.

Heavy is the Head [2.02]Edit

Antoine Triplett: No need to think the worst till it shakes your hand and says hello.
Skye: Is that another one of your grandma's sayings?
Antoine Triplett: Fortune cookie. Had some kung pao chicken the other night.

Phil Coulson: Right now we have more important problems. A five-alarm fire otherwise known as Lance Hunter.
Skye: Is he...?
Phil Coulson: Captured. But if he talks, our entire operation's compromised. We'll have to burn the base and evacuate. I know, and we've just retiled the bathrooms.

Skye: I know you're the boss and you have to compartmentalize everything, but it's not healthy. You need to loosen up. Try yoga or something.
Phil Coulson: I tried it, but I'm really not flexible.

Skye: I'm really sorry, tough to lose people you care about.
Lance Hunter: Secret to that - don't get attached.
Skye: Tried that. Didn't work. For you either.
Lance Hunter: You know, you remind me a bit of Izzy. Raw but sharp, you've got skills. Probably could earn you some real money in the private sector.
Skye: As a mercenary? Yeah, I don't think so.
Lance Hunter: We prefer the term private military contractors. Don't knock it, everyone needs an exit strategy eventually.
Skye: Not me. S.H.I.E.L.D.'s my life now.
Lance Hunter: S.H.I.E.L.D. isn't a life, it's just a job, means to an end. Remember that.

Raina: Hello?
Phil Coulson: Who is this?
Raina: Agent Coulson, I'm glad you got my message.
Phil Coulson: Raina, as I live and breathe.
Raina: It's been a while since we've spoken.
Phil Coulson: I'm kind of in the middle of a manhunt; can we make this quick?
Raina: Why? You need time to trace this call, don't you? I take it then you haven't tracked down Mr. Creel or the item he stole.
Phil Coulson: What do you know about that?
Raina: I know HYDRA's about to get their hands on it.
Phil Coulson: Congratulations.
Raina: Let me be clear - Mr. Creel is working for HYDRA. I am not.
Phil Coulson: Why the breakup? Bad dental plan?
Raina: HYDRA has only one thing on their minds - world domination, which is so 1945
Phil Coulson: What do you want Raina?
Raina: It's what I don't want. Which is the obelisk falling into the hands of people who don't understand it.

Making Friends and Influencing People [2.03]Edit

Melinda May: In the field you need to maintain control, whatever the situation: hostages, bombs about to go off.
Skye: So what you're saying is what I just did was puny and sad?
[May checks Skye's heartbeat]
Melinda May: 61 beats per minute, consistent the whole time. Not that puny. Speaking of not puny... here, I want you to get used to this, it's a sniper rifle.
[Hunter and Mack come by]
Lance Hunter: Pardon me, just one quick question, you went to S.H.I.E.L.D. academy, right?
Melinda May: You didn't. If you did, you would of known better than to shoot us.
Lance Hunter: Apology number 470: I am very sorry Agent May...
Melinda May: Don't be sorry. Just wait.
Alphonso MacKenzie: Uh, we were just having a little wager, so did you...?
Skye: Go to the academy? Yeah, no.
[Hunter sighs]
Alphonso "Mack" Mackenzie: Alright, well have fun with the inventory and remember: Koenig likes them neat.

[Simmons enters her home gun drawn to find Coulson]
Phil Coulson: Did you think I wouldn't find out?
[Simmons lowers her gun]
Phil Coulson: Sriracha? Beer? That's all? What kind of diet is that?
Jemma Simmons: Well, I also have tea. And if my diet is such a concern, then perhaps dead-drops shouldn't involve fast food.
Phil Coulson: We'll revisit that protocol.

Grant Ward: A gifted that refuses HYDRA is a threat. And threats are taken care of quickly.
Skye: [scoffs] That's the difference between S.H.I.E.L.D. and HYDRA.
Grant Ward: And that's why HYDRA will win. Because while a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent is considering right and wrong, HYDRA's already taken the shot.

Daniel Whitehall: Why cling to the founding principles of S.H.I.E.L.D.? Freedom. Equality. Individual rights. These principles make mankind a plague on this planet. Think of a forest. It dries up and catches fire with the first spark. Now, mankind would fight that fire, believing every individual plant perfect in its own individual way. But it's the fire that's perfect. Essential. Now more magnificent plant species, like the giant sequoia, their seeds need the heat of that fire to crack open and be born. To literally rise from the ashes. And they will live for a thousand years. You don't need to keep burning. Rise. Be born.

Lance Hunter: May shot me.
Antoine Triplett: Man. I wanted to be the one.

Face My Enemy [2.04]Edit

Phil Coulson: This is fun, right? Isn't this fun? Look - [Holds up his sleeves] Cufflinks!
Melinda May: I will pay you $500 right now for a pair of flats.

Skye: [Hears a noise over the comms] Wait. What was that?
Phil Coulson: Yeah. That's May.
Skye: Is-is she okay? Is everything okay?
Phil Coulson: Yes. She's laughing. I think the worst of it's over now.
Melinda May: [Walks up to Coulson] My face hurts.

Phil Coulson: We're blown.
Melinda May: Why?
Phil Coulson: No idea. I think Talbot's still pissed 'cause we kidnapped him that time.

Glenn Talbot: [to Coulson] You know, I spent five long months in an enemy war camp. You people make me miss those days.

Melinda May: I can help you -
Daniel Whitehall: Raina, I'm not like most of the people with whom you interact. I'm not easily confused. I've been around too long to lose sight of what's mine. I generally don't do my own dirty work anymore. We should all aspire to do only that which we enjoy, don't you agree? But in your case, I will make an exception.

A Hen in the Wolf House [2.05]Edit

Jemma Simmons: Do you have any idea what this means? We could kill millions of people, perhaps even billions.
Kenneth Turgeon: Pretty awesome, huh?

Grant Ward: [on Garrett] To be honest, I was almost relieved when S.H.I.E.L.D. put him down. The Garrett I knew was long gone since the writing started. And whatever took his place, I don't think it was meant to survive.

Skye: Hold on, are you saying that I'm an alien?!
Phil Coulson: It's a theory.
Skye: No, a theory is what scientists use to prove things in nature, this is you telling me that I might be an alien! That's not something you just say like it's no big deal!
Phil Coulson: I was trying not to rattle you.
Skye: Guess what? Epic fail!

Skye: Have you been drinking?
Lance Hunter: I was working. Had to maintain my cover.
Skye: Your cover as what? Ron Burgundy?

Jemma Simmons: If it hadn't have been for Agent Morse, I -
Bobbi Morse: Bobbi.
Jemma Simmons: - Bobbi, right. If it hadn't have been for Bobbi, I would never have made it out. Probably be brainwashed, happy to comply to who knows what. [whispers] She's amazing.

A Fractured House [2.06]Edit

Christian Ward: [to Coulson] You may think you know Grant Ward, Mr. Coulson, but trust me. Underneath every lie he tells is just another lie.

Grant Ward: [about Christian] He'll smile, bare his soul. It is all manipulation. He is a master at it. Look, I know what I am. But my brother? He's worse.

Grant Ward: I'm still a part of your team.
Phil Coulson: My team? You th-- You are not, nor you'll ever be, on my team. You dropped Fitz-Simmons out of a plane. You murdered Victoria Hand and Eric Koenig. You betrayed every one of us, you deluded son of a bitch! The only reason you're alive is because you were of use! And the only reason you're being transferred is because your brother is of more use.

[Ward is being marched out of S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters and sees Skye]
Grant Ward: Skye...
[Simmons steps protectively in front of Skye]
Jemma Simmons: If I ever see you again, I'll kill you.

Christian Ward: Dignatares, ladies and gentlemen, less then 48 hours ago, brave men and women lost their lives at this very spot where I'm standing now, and I think we owe it to them to discuss something all often elusive - the truth. Sometimes we want something simpler than they actually are, but... the tough reality is, we are complex creatures. And I've come to understand something that the world must, as well. There is a difference between S.H.I.E.L.D. and HYDRA. One was an organization built on protection, and the other - world domination. And just as good and evil existed side-by-side within S.H.I.E.L.D., the same was true in my own home. At first, I was ashamed to share this truth with the world, but my younger brother, Grant Ward, was a member of HYDRA. He was a traitor. He was a traitor to his friends, his family, and his nation. When evil sits to ones own heart, that is when the surest hand must cut it out. I give my word. I will personally make sure my brother is punished for his crimes. But as is so often true, the darkness lingers longer than the light. And while S.H.I.E.L.D. is gone, HYDRA is a problem that world must still face. Otherwise, that darkness will grow and spread and cast a shadow over us all.

The Writing on the Wall [2.07]Edit

Skye: May gave out specific instructions: you go on a date with a crazy wall. I get to chaperone.

Lance Hunter: Subtlety is key.
Bobbi Morse: You were dressed like a cowboy.

Phil Coulson: I was put in charge of the T.A.H.I.T.I. project so those people are my responsibility. If going back in this machine saves even one life, then it's worth the risk.

Skye: In the history of bad ideas, this is light years ahead of everything.
Phil Coulson: No. Trying to bring dead agents back to life using alien blood blows everything else away.

Leo Fitz: He'll recover, he did before. Besides, brains never delete files, they just lose connections, but there's always a back up. It's just a matter of digging and finding them.
Alphonso "Mack" Mackenzie: So you've got back up files too?

The Things We Bury [2.08]Edit

Jemma Simmons: Peggy Carter, founder, happens to be British, held this in her hand!

Christian Ward: [to Grant Ward] Listen to yourself! Just listen to yourself! You twist every act and blame it on somebody else! Mom and Dad were terrible, but they didn't put the match in your hand when you burnt down that damn house! And I didn't squeeze the trigger when you killed all those people!

Christian Ward: [to Grant Ward] You lie to yourself. You want to know why? It's simple. You can't reconcile all the ugly, horrible things you do with the hero you so desperately want to become.

Phil Coulson: What are we talking about? Tesseract-level power?
The Doctor/Cal: Sure. I don't know what that is.
Phil Coulson: You realize we're talking life and death here.
The Doctor/Cal: I know! It's exciting, isn't it? I mean, both sides racing to the temple, life and death, flesh and blood, emotions! Who knows how it'll shake out? All I know is, my baby's gonna be right there in the center of it.

Lance Hunter: Doesn't matter what I ask. I can't trust the answer.
Bobbi Morse: Write that sentence down, hand it to your therapist.

...Ye Who Enter Here [2.09]Edit

Sam Koenig: [to Raina] Sorry, but you're gonna need a lanyard.

Bobbi Morse: I wish I could give you some advice, but I've never been friends with a guy first. It's always been a roller coaster. Fast out of the gate, hit the drop, the turn, the loop, the screeching halt, then back in line to do it all over again.
Jemma Simmons: But is the ride worth it?
Bobbi Morse: I'll let you know when it's over.

Raina: Be honest, Skye. Haven't you ever felt lost or had that feeling that you were part of something bigger? Like you were special?
Skye: When you say "special," what you really mean is "alien."
Raina: Is that what you believe? We're human, Skye. We just have the potential to be more. But the Diviner? Now that is most definitely alien.
Skye: Where do you get this stuff? My father?
Raina: Partly. But my grandmother came from a long line of special people who believed in a story, about the blue angels that fell from the heavens. The ancients called them the Kree.
Skye: And what do the Kree want?
Raina: Change.

Grant Ward: Skye, I give you my word; come with me, we won't fire a single shot. Everyone gets out alive.
Billy Koenig: Good one. Is that what you told my brother before you killed him?
Grant Ward: How many of you are there?

What They Become [2.10]Edit

Skye: [to Ward] Maybe you don't remember, but we've played this game of "let's kidnap Skye" before, and it didn't end well for you.

The Doctor/Cal: [to Skye] I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you, that I couldn't protect you That I couldn't teach you about the stars...[voice breaking] Or sing you to sleep. I know I'm a terrible disappointment, but I'm here now. And everything that's about to happen is supposed to happen.

The Doctor/Cal: [to Skye] I'll make plenty of time to answer all of your questions. But first, now that he's served his purpose, I'm gonna kill the man who destroyed my life. Best day ever.

Agent 33: I didn't have a purpose before. I was lost. Now I'm happy to comply.

Skye: This is your one chance to walk away, or I will kill you.
The Doctor/Cal: Okay. I'll go. But I'll be waiting for you. After you change, no one else will understand. They'll be afraid. Change is terrifying. But I'm your father, and I love you. I will always love you, Daisy.


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