Wikiquote

Adventure Time (season 1)

season one of the American animated television series
Seasons: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 | Distant Lands | Fionna and Cake | Main


Adventure Time (2010–2018) is an American animated television series created by Pandelton Ward for Cartoon Network. The series follows the adventures of a boy named Finn (voiced by Jeremy Shada) and his best friend and adoptive brother Jake (voiced by John DiMaggio)—a dog with the magical power to change shape and size at will.

Slumber Party Panic [1.01]

[Jake and Rainacorn are seen chasing each other in front of the candy kingdom;Finn and Princess Bubblegum are seen in a graveyard]
Finn: Hey, Princess Bubblegum, when we bring the dead back to life, will they be filled with worms?
Bubblegum: No. If my decorpsinator serum works, then all the dead Candy People will look as young and healthy as you do.
Finn: [chest-pounding] Aaahh-AAAHH-AAAHHHH!!
Bubblegum: Pick up that platter, tough guy. [Finn opens platter with a dead mouldy Candy Person]
Finn: Old Mr. Cream Puff?
Bubblegum: [giggles] We used to date. [injects serum into Cream Puff]
Finn: Something's happening! Come on... come on!
Bubblegum: Work!
[the green-glowing Mr. Cream Puff stands up and start garbling and oozing incoherently]
Finn: Algebraic!
Bubblegum: Wait, something's wrong.
Mr. Cream Puff: SUGAR!!
[Cream Puff then oozes and flies away into a gigantic test beaker, mixing the serum, breaks and spraying its contents all over the graveyard. More dead Candy People rise from their graves]
Finn: Hey, look! The decorpsinator serum is working.
Bubblegum: No! This is wrong! They're not coming back to life, they're still dead! My decorpsinator serum — it's incomplete!!
Zombie: Rah! Must eat sugar! Rugh—!
Finn: [pushes it down] You're grounded, mister.
Bubblegum: Oh, this is really bad. They're going to be attracted to the Candy Kingdom!
Finn: Why?
Bubblegum: Because the Candy People are made of sugar, ya ding-dong!
Zombie: [gets on Bubblegum's lap] Gimme some sugar, baby...
Bubblegum: Aah!
Finn: Chew on THIS!! [kicks it]
Bubblegum: Hee... Good one, Finn. Quickly! To the Kingdom!
Finn: [kicks another] Get a life!!
Jake: Finn, truth or dare?
Finn: Dare! Ha ha!
Jake: I dare you... to tell me the truth about what's goin' on in your mind. What were you and Bubblegum talkin' about when you were alone together?
Everyone: Oooooohh!!
Finn: Um, uhh... The truth is... uhh... [visualizes Bubblegum behind Jake]
Bubblegum: "You promised you wouldn't frickin' tell ANYONE!! Aw, you're so cute, Finn."
Finn: Ahhh... The truth is... that I'd rather play dodge socks! [throws sock at Jake's face]
Jake: I'm not playing dodge socks until you stop dodging my questions! Hey... [sniffs sock] Old Mr. Cream Puff? Isn't he dead?
Finn: Uh, give me my sock back! Dodge socks was a bad idea!
Jake: Whoa! Look, dude, just tell me what's up, because you are crazier than a cannibal tonight.

[a horde of candy zombies are seen outside a window behind Jake]

Trouble in Lumpy Space [1.02]

LSP's Dad: Daughter! Have you brought smooth people into our domain?!
LSP: I had to, Dad. I'm trying to help them! SO DON'T LUMPING YELL AT ME!!
LSP's Mom: WHAT DID YOU SAY?! What did you just say?!!
LSP: I SAID LUMP OFF, MOM!! GJABLAHGARIHAGLRRR!!!
[LSP huffs and puffs, Finn goes by her]
Finn: Uhh...
LSP: WHAT??
Finn: Vroom-vroom?
LSP: Oh, yeah. I need to borrow the car.
LSP's Dad: You had made your mother cry for the last time, Daughter! You are hereby banned from using the royal car! [slam!]
LSP: Shucks! I lumping hate them!
Finn: [fully lumpy] Oh yah! Being lumpy is the best!
Jake: Hey! Stop talkin to yourself, dum guy. Take your bawl and get outta here.
Finn: Fine. I don't want you to havvit anyways.
Jake: So I can't havvit now, eh?
Finn: That's right, it's mine!
Jake: [beat] Gimme that bawl!!
Finn: No! You can't havvit!
Jake: Givvit t' me!
Finn: No!!
Jake: I wannit! Givvit t' me!
Finn: You wannit that bad!? Go get it, then!

Prisoners of Love [1.03]

Ice King: What?! Who dares enter the Ice Kingdom?!
Finn: Aw... Ice King's here...
Ice King: You know why I'm here?! Do you know what ICE KING means!?!
Jake: Yeah, I know what Ice King means. A big NERD.
Finn: Oh-ho-ho! Holy cow!
Ice King: It means I'm king of ice! This is my domain, and you're violating ice world law — trespassing!
Jake: Come on, brother, we're just tryin' to beat the heat.
Finn: Yeah, there's a big sleeping lava man in our front yard, and he is so hot...
Jake: [hits Finn's arm suggestively] Mmm-hmm.
Finn: No, no, wait, I take that back. I-I mean, not like sexy hot...
Jake: No — no, you do mean sexy hot.
Finn: No! I mean—
Ice King: I DON'T CARE!! This is my kingdom! You guys can't just scoot about on my land, willy-nilly, I've got rules here!
Finn: [sigh] Why don't you just try being cool?
Ice King: WHAT!?! I am the king! I am the king of- of c-cool— [rambling] THAT'S IT!!!
Ice King: Nice try, boy! Princesses, do you see? Did you see Finn fail?!
Jake: Don't worry, Finn. I'll get us out... with Key Hand! [morphs hand into key]
Ice King: Oh no, you won't! [zaps into the cage with everyone out of the way, onto Jake inside a block of ice]
Finn: JAKE!!
Ice King: Eat it.
Jake: I'm... I'm okay...
Finn: ICE KING!! YOU HAD BETTER EITHER SET US FREE, OR COME IN HERE AND FIGHT ME!! COS OTHERWISE.. I'M GONNA FLIP OUUT!!! [wailing at him through bars]
Ice King: Ooh, are you trying to hit me? Well, excuse me, because I have to go potty in the bathroom.
Finn: RRRR-ICE KING!!!!

Tree Trunks [1.04]

Finn: Hey, crystal guardian! Are you okay with Tree Trunks takin' a bite of that apple?
Jake: I'm okay with it!
CG Jake: I'm okay with it!
Jake: And I'm stupid!
CG Jake: And I'm stupid!
Finn: Jake, I just realized that Tree Trunks is old and bonkers. We can't take her through that evil dark forest!
Jake: Ahh, she'll be fine, everything's fine.
Finn: But the monsters!
Jake: It's faine! It's faine!
Finn: Are you sure? Cos she has ZERO adventurer training.
Jake: Yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah, well it's fine! She'll be fine! Re-re-it's fine, it's fine, it's fine!
Finn: [laughs] Maybe it is fine.

The Enchiridion! [1.05]

Princess Bubblegum: It's called the Enchiridion. It's a book meant only for heroes whose hearts are RIGHTEOUS. ["PUCHHOO!!"]
Finn: Shmowzow!
Princess Bubblegum: The book lies in the top of Mount Cragdoor, guarded by a manly Minotar. It's waiting for a truly righteous hero to claim it!
Finn: Do you think I've got the goods, Bubblegum? 'Cos I am [pounds floor] INTO THIS STUFF!
Evil Wizard: Now, as one last LAST trial; SLAY THIS ANT!
Finn: Is it evil?
Evil Wizard: No! But it's... not good, either. It's neutral. Will you slay it?
Finn: ...NO!
Evil Wizard: If you want the hero's Enchiridion, then slay this unaligned ant!
Finn: Never... Never.. NEVER!!
Evil Wizard: Wuh-oh... [Finn kicks the wizard to smoke]
Keeper: [enters the room] Congratulations, Finn the Human. Now you have truly reached—
Finn: NEVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!! [punches Keeper in the stomach]
Keeper: Ooh!!
Finn: Oh no! Mr. Keeper, I'm sorry. Wha- Why are you wearing that little devil costume?
Keeper: These are my pajamas... I was getting weady for bed...

The Jiggler [1.06]

Finn: [synthesized singing] Baby
Jake: Mm!
Finn: I know what you need
Jake: What's that?
Finn: You want your little baby socks
For your little baby feet~
Jake: Whoo!
Finn: Baby
Jake: Yeah?
Finn: I know what you crave
Jake: Oh yeah, what's that?
Finn: You want to poop your pants all day long
Well, baby behave!
Jake: Hey, how can you sing like that, dude?
Finn: Remember when I swallowed that little computer?
Jake: Oh yeah.
Jake: Finn, I know you don't want to hear this, but I think we should cut our losses and bring this fella back to where we found him.
Finn: We can't just abandon him! Look at him, Jake! He needs us now more than ever! We just need to take better care of you from now on, right, little guy?
[the Jiggler's pressure builds up and explodes all of its magenta juices in front of Finn and Jake]
Finn: JIGGLER!!!
[the Jiggler's body stretches in every direction and drapes the inside of the Tree Fort like taffy]
Jake: Oh!
Finn: Wha... wh—
Jake: Finn? Okay.
Finn: WHAAHH!!
Jake: Our pet exploded.
Finn: AAAAGGHH...!!
Jake: Maybe we can scrape him up, and... ugh... [the Jiggler's upside-down head stretches down below]
Finn: [gasps] Oh, holy moly! Don't worry, Jiggler! We'll fix you!
[he whistles holding the Jiggler's head, but only makes raspberry noises]
Finn: Let's gather him up, Jake! He's all over the place! Even between the floorboards!
Jake: And the cupboards!
Finn: AND the galoshes!
Jake: I wonder... where's his heinie? [sees lower torso on record player] Found it! C'mere, you! Hey! Ugh!
Finn: Come on! Let's put him back together!
Jake: Okay!
Finn: Squeeze real hard. He's slipping!
Jake: I got him!
[they both squeeze the Jiggler as hard as they could, and press it back into an indistinguishably disgusting mass]
Jake: Well, at least he's all in one piece. [SPLAT!!] Sheesh... You think he's... dead?
Finn: No way! I won't let you die, guy! Not this time!

Ricardio the Heart Guy [1.07]

Jake: I bet you wish you were my butt.
Finn: What?
Jake: I bet you wish YOU were my butt, because then the Princess, y'know... No, wait... I bet you wish YOU were the Ice King and the Princess was my butt!
Finn: What!?
Jake: Hm... OH!! I bet you wish Bubblegum would KISS you too! Like the Ice King and my butt!
Finn: That's ridiculous!
Princess Bubblegum: You're totally jealous of Ricardio.
Finn: Not I'm not! I just don't like the way he talks to you. It makes me feel weird.
Princess Bubblegum: That's jealousy, hon.
Finn: I'm not jealous! [echo yell] I'M WEIRD!!!
Jake: Woof, man. This is going bad!

Business Time [1.08]

Finn: I found another bike, and more computers! What do you got?
Jake: I keep finding baby shoes! [flamethrows another iceberg] What the heck, man, and they're all lefties!
Finn: I never knew being fat and lazy was so rewarding!
Jake: Yeah! Your gut's so huge and mouldable.
Finn: Hey!
Jake: Hold on a sec!
Finn: Hahahaha! Man, that tickles!
Jake: [moulded to IK] "I'm the Ice King! And I'll never find a bride because I'm such a tool."
Finn: [laughs] Alright, let me try. [moulds his gut to PB] "I'm Princess Bubblegum, and I'm a dork because I like science! I've also got a really annoying voice that Finn thinks is ATTRACTIVE!!"
Jake: Ha ha! That's a... Wait, what'd you say?

My Two Favorite People [1.09]

Jake: Hey... did you know that you both have an awesome sense of humor?
Finn: We do?
Jake: Yeah! Anyone have a joke?
Finn: Oh, I have a joke! Okay, okay. Knock knock!
Lady Rainicorn: Nuguseyo? (Who's there?)
Jake: She said, "who's there?"
Finn: Diarrhea!
Jake: Jyaega seolsalae. (He said, "Diarrhea.")
Lady Rainicorn: Eo, nado deul-eoss-eo. Mwoya, hanado jaemieobsjanh-a. (Yeah, I know. I don't think it was kinda that funny.) [sips goblet]
Finn: Did she say "Diarrhea who?"
Jake: Uh... no. No, she didn't say "Diarrhea who". She didn't. ...Say it.
Finn: Hey Grandpa, how're you able to fly if you don't have wings?
Lady Rainicorn: [old man voice] "Well, light travels from the sun, then bounces off of our planet, and back into our eyes so we can perceive color."
Jake: Whoa!
Lady Rainicorn: "My body can intercept that light, and dance around on it."
Jake: Baby, it's a little rocky in the back seat here!
Finn: [laughs] Shmow! That forest wizard is giving away free power rings!
Lady Rainicorn: "Do you wanna try gettin' some, Finn?"
Finn: YEAHS!!

Memories of Boom Boom Mountain [1.10]

Finn: A long time ago, when I was a baby, I went boom boom on a leaf. (boom boom!) Then I fell backwards (SPLAT!) and sat in my own boom boom. I cried for a day... but no one came to help me. That day I vowed to help anyone in need, no matter how small their problem! And that's why I need to go. [leaves]
[the marauders all clap and cheer]
Jake: He still cries when he poops. Thanks for being cool, guys.
Finn: Can you guys stop being so rough?
Group 1: WHAT?
Group 2: WHAT?
Marauder: What? [bang!]
Head Marauder: Whoa-whoa-whoa! What are you talking about, Finn?
Finn: Could you... just tone down the roughhousing a-a little?
Marauder: What? [bang!]
Head Marauder: Whoa-whoa-whoa-shh! It's alright, fellas. Finn, I'm sure this "tone down the roughhousing" thing has something to do with your boom boom, and I can respect that. BUT HOW CAN WE POSSIBLY MAKE ROUGHHOUSING LESS ROUGH!!?

Wizard [1.11]

Finn: WOO-HOO!! Nice job! Thanks to us, the village is saved. And we reclaimed a few of your twilight years.
Bufo: Don't forget to thank me — for this was my plan for all of these 847 years.
Finn: No way! Your plan was to dupe a succession of rubes into keeping the asteroid at bay!
Bufo: Perhaps you're right. No more giving out free powers. I hereby renounce all magic.
[Bufo starts sobbing on the ground, wailing]
Bufo: MY LIFE IS OVEEEEEEEEER!!!!!
Finn: Chill, man! You don't have to quit your job.
Bufo: I don't?
Finn: Nah. Just don't take credit for ideas that aren't yours.
Bufo: Oh... okay... Good idea. [To himself, as Finn and Jake leave] Glad I thought of it.
Reaper: Hey kid... you want some magic powers? Magic powers for absolutely free?
Finn: Heck yeah!
Jake: Wait! Let's not be too rash! Just look at this guy! Check out the sunken lifeless eyes, the foul stench of decay! You know what that means?
Finn: ..Means he's evil, I guess.
Jake: Well evil, sure—but mostly, he's unattractive. And unattractive people are desperate.

Evicted! [1.12]

(song when Jake and Finn are thrown out of their house)

Singer: So Finn and Jake
Set out to find a new home
It's gonna be tough
For a kid and a dog on their own.
Here's a little house
Aw, Finn's stickin' his foot in
Well, that's a bad idea, dude
Cuz now that bird thinks you're a jerk, Finn!
And now they're chillin' on the side of a hill
And thinkin' livin' in a cloud would be totally thrillin',
Unless they find something inside
Like a mean cloud man and his beautiful cloud bride.
A beehive, oh nooo~!
Don't put your foot in there, guy!
Y'all tried that before,
And you know it didn't turn out right!
Big shell, go inside,
Look around, it seems all right
A frog comes out and barfs a tiger,
Throwin' down potions for food and fi-ahire~!
You know you should've stayed
And fought that sexy vampire lady,
But Jake was feelin' terrified
He was super-scared of her vampire bite,
Which is understandable
As vampires are really powerful.
They're unreasonable
And burnt out on dealing with mortals.
Ooh, Marceline
Why are you so mean?'
Marceline: I'm not mean, I'm 1000 years old
And I just lost track of my moral code.
Singer: Oh, Marceline
Can't you see these guys are in pain?
Marceline: No, I can't.
I'm invested in this really cute video game.
Singer: So there go our boys
Walkin' on the icy ground,
Headin' towards their destiny
I'm sure they'll figure something out.

City of Thieves [1.13]

Jake: Hey, check it out!
Finn: Whoa!
Jake: Looks like a giant dead turtle.
Finn: I think it's some kinda city of—
Hag: [pops out of tree] THIEVES!! It's the City of Thieves! [points at Finn] Be warned, boy!! All who enter the city are destined to become thieves themselves! [cackles] Even you!
Finn: I wouldn't become a thief, lady! I'm a pretty good guy.
Jake: Yeah, get your glasses on, grandma. This kid is pure. In fact, he's about to help that little crying kid. [show a girl crying]
Finn: Oh, whoa! [he and Jake run off]
Hag: Be warned!!
Finn: Enough, lady! [walks to girl] Hey, little girl, are you okay?
Girl: [falls back] Please, don't steal anything from me!
Finn: Whoa! We wouldn't do that. We're heroes.
Jake: We wanna turn your frown... [twists the face he made on his stomach] all the way around.
Girl: Aah! [starts crying again]
Finn: [nudges him] Jake!!
Jake: I'll face the other way, but I'm gonna keep doing this.
Finn: So, what's wrong?
Girl: Oh, it was terrible. I was trying to sell my flowers out here in the desert when these two thieves came and stole my whole basket, then ran into the city.
Finn: The city?
Hag: [pops up again] OF THIEVES!!
Jake: Oh, boy...
Hag: Heed my warning, boy! Enter the city, and you'll come out a thief!
Finn: Never! [carries girl on his shoulders] I'll get this girl's flowers back.
Girl: My name's Penny.
Finn: I'll get Penny's flowers back and come out of that city as pure as the driven snow. Let's go, Jake!
Jake: Yeah! We're gonna purify that city!
Finn: How are we supposed to get that basket back if it keeps being stolen?! Ugh!!
Jake: Hey! We can steal a new one from that guy! [points to a 'Baskets & Boots' seller with its owner snoozing] He's got lots of flower baskets... and boots! I'd like to steal me one of them pairs of boots, especially.
Finn: No, Jake. We can't steal. We have to stay pure!
Jake: [grumbles] O-kay...
Penny: I have an idea. My mom used to tell me that there's a king of thieves who lives in the center of the city, and everything that gets stolen from little girls ends up at his tower. Maybe we'd find my basket in his treasure chest!
Finn: That's a great idea, Penny!
Penny: There's one thing, though. The tower that he lives in is surrounded by a magical barrier which magically keeps thieves out.
Finn: Have you forgotten?! We three ain't thieves! We're PURE!! Right, Jake? Jake?
Jake: [tiptoes to seller] Just gotta steal these boots...
Finn: JAKE!!
Jake: Huh?
Owner: Hey! [swats Jake] Go away!!
Finn: What are you doing, man?!
Jake: It's the city! It's getting to me! Help me, Finn!!

The Witch's Garden [1.14]

Jake: So do I get my powers back?
Witch: Hm... Apology denied.
Jake: What!? Why!?
Witch: Because you took too long. Now you have to apologize while doing a variety of humiliating things.
Jake: No way, Jose!
Jake's Subconscious: "Come on, dude. It's the only way to save Finn."
Witch: Who is that!?
Jake: He's my subconscious.
Witch: Then he has to do it too.
Jake's Subconscious: "Aw!"
Finn: Jake! I never should've doubted you!
Jake: Well, I'm glad you learned your lesson – that in a crunch, there's nothin I wouldn't do for ya.
Finn: Ahhh, so is that how you got your powers back? ["ting"] You apologized to the witch?
Jake: Uum... [sweats profusely] No way! I um.. must have found the right... mud puddle! Yeah... I don't remember. Heh... Rrrrr...

What is Life? [1.15]

Finn: Aww! Butter pranked! I can't BELIEVE I didn't see that coming!
Jake: Yeah, I'm a genius.
Finn: YOU have offended my honor, sir. And in so doing, you have awoken the pranking demon that sleeps in my pits! The demon is coming for you, mortal. It is going to prank you so.. HAAAARD!!!
Finn: Did y'all smack me into that mountain on purpose?
Balloons: Yeeaah!
Finn: Take note, NEPTR. These guys are Grade A Pranksters. You guys hang out, in case we need a daring escape!
Balloon 1: Yeah, sure!
Balloon 2: Daring escape!
Balloon 3: Sure Finn!
Balloon 4: Absolutely, we got your back! [Finn enters IK's cave]
Balloon 5: I got his wallet!

Ocean of Fear [1.16]

Finn: Get me out of the water! Now, Jake, now!
[Jake is shown bruised, saying "ow" as Finn steps on him, screaming]
Jake: Finn! Stop it, Finn! OWWW!!
Finn: But I must conquer this NOW! YAAA! I'M NOT AFRAID OF YOU!!
(The ocean rages its waves around)
Finn: [As one tiny drop of water flies onto Finn, slow motion] YAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH! I'm afraid of you! I'm afraid of you! Aaaaaah!
[Finn drags himself to safety, then does the dance on his back and sighs.]
Finn: [Drags himself to Jake's feet, with a very wrinkled face] Okay, yeah... Let's try tomorrow...
(The next day...)
Jake: Finn? Finn. Finn, wake up, buddy.
Finn: Mornin', Jake!
Jake: Ready for me to help you get over your ocean fear?
Finn: Yeah, man!
Jake: Cool, but I'm only going to do this if you ask me.
Finn: I'm asking.
Jake: Then get ready for my three-step plan. Watch your troubles melt away with step one!
(Jake shoves the wall, causing the room to collapse, revealing Finn's bed floating in open water!)
Finn: AAAAAAAAHHHH! Jake, are you crazy?! This is NOT an okay thing to do!!! (Finn hyperventilates)
Jake: Relax, dude. The ocean is your friend. And you got friends all around you right now. Miles and miles of friends...
Finn: YOU'RE NUTS!
(Finn tries struggling out of bed, but Jake pulls back the blanket revealing him tied up.)
Jake: Don't try to struggle, man. I'll let you out in a second. You just have to calm down.
Finn: Really? Okay... I'm calming down.
Jake: You're doing great! Ready for step two?
Finn: (nervously) Yeah, man, I'm ready.
Jake: All right, dude. Step...TWO!
(Jake unties the rope around Finn, dismantling the bed and setting Finn down into the water.)
Finn: Jake! This ISN'T a joke!! IT'S TOUCHING ME!!!
Jake: Let it hold you, man! Let it hold you like a child!
Finn: (wearing a distressed face) I'm TRYING to let it hold me! (razzes fearfully)
Jake: Control your breathing!
(Finn takes a few deep breaths to calm himself, but it fails to work.)
Finn: THIS ISN'T WORKING!
Jake: That means we've gotta move on to step three! Just don't scream!
Finn: Huh?!?
Jake: I'm gonna push you underwater with my jowls! Just don't scream! Don't scream!
Finn: Jake! Jake, wake up!
(Jake groans as he comes to)
Finn: You okay, dude?
Jake: Yeah, man. Wait. Finn! You did it - you conquered your fear!
Finn: Huh?
Jake. You’re at the bottom of the ocean!
(Finn lets out a fart upon realizing where he is. He screams, pulling the now useless emergency tab)
Jake: Maybe we should celebrate on land.

When Wedding Bells Thaw [1.17]

Ice King: Oh... Now I get what you guys are trying to tell me! Marriage is a thing that allows me to capture a princess forever and let her live inside of me! [cries ecstatically] Marriage is the most beautiful thing in the world...
Ice King: No more... st-stealing princesses? Wow...
Finn and Jake: WHAT!!?
Ice King: I didn't realise I'd have to.. give up... stealing the ladies.
Jake: But you said you were fine with it!
Ice King: I know what I said! But you know, sometimes you say things and then you don't really mean them?
Jake: WHA— Are you serious!?

Freak City [1.18]

Finn: Thanks for being cool and all, but what do ya know about this Magic Man? How do we catch him?
Gork: Ohh, he can't be caught. He's got magic. And we're worthless freaks, we can't ever beat him! So we've gathered here to wallow in our self-pity.
Finn: Wait, so, what was the lesson we just learned?
Jake: Maybe it was, don't give your sugar to jerks?
Finn: Speaking of jerks—what the blubins, man!? Why wouldn't you help me turn back into a boy?
Jake: Well, because I always kind of wanted to... [mumbles]
Finn: What!?
Jake: I said, I always kind of wanted to be a foot myself.
Finn: You could be a foot right now! I saw you change into a foot twice yesterday!
Jake: It's complicated, man. You'll understand when you're older.

Dungeon [1.19]

Finn: Steady, Finn. This place is probably more creeped out of you than you are of it. [flips down] Hup!
Man: Halt!!
Finn: Hm?
Man: Come no further, adventurer! For you see, none can defeat... the Bucket Knight!
Finn: [encounters him in small scale] Okay. Then I won't fight ya.
Bucket Knight: No! You must challenge me to—
Finn: Hey, cutie, do you know how to get to the Crystal Eye from here?
Bucket Knight: Yes, it's through that door over there, but—
Finn: [walks past him] Thanks!
Bucket Knight: Hey!! [Finn laughingly runs to the door] You can't pass through that door without battling me!
Finn: Yes, I can! Because I'm HUGE compared to you!
Bucket Knight: Just add water and... [drenches himself and grows larger] EXPONENTIAL GROWTH!!
Finn: Aw, buckets!
Bucket Knight: Now... activate thine own powers, and we shall engage in thrilling single combat!!
Finn: Heh... thing is... I don't really have any powers.
Bucket Knight: I see... [chases Finn screaming]
Finn: Dang it! Jake wouldn't be running! He'd grow all big! And sock you right in the nose hole!!
Angel: Hey, it's OK! I'm your Guardian Angel, Finn. I'm here to save you...
Finn: R- Really?
Angel: Mhm... Come here! Let the Angel pick you up.
Finn: O- Ok... (The angel pick him and flies) (Laughs) This is radical!
Angel: Are you comfortable? Would you like some snacks?
Finn: I'm fine... Thank you!
Angel: Here... Let me clean you up and mend your clothes.
Finn: HAHAHAHAHA!
Angel: I'm taking you to the chamber of the Crystal Eye...
Finn: Aw, yeah!
Angel: ...where I'm going to cook you and eat your flesh.
Finn: Wow... Wai— what?!
Angel: Trust in your [face turns skeletal and horrific] GUARDIAN ANGEL!!!
Finn: Put me down, lady!!
Angel: As you wish. [throws him into a soup-filled cage full of vegetables and bones]
Finn: WAAH!! Unh! Aw, man... Everyone wants to eat me up. It's probably cos I'm so sweet.
Angel: Now... for little-kid soup... the secret is a low flame over a long period.
Finn: That's Jake's secret, too. Sure hopes he saves me.
Angel: I will save thee, Finn. [flies away]
Finn: LADY, YOU ARE SICK!!

The Duke [1.20]

Finn: There's something to tell you about that bottle that hit you in the face.
PB: I already know, Finn! The Duke of Nuts has ALWAYS been a bad guy! But now that he's done this, I'LL NEVER FORGIVE HIM!!! And it's not just because that I HATE the Duke! I'd never forgive ANYBODY who did THIS to me! I'd hate them!
Finn: Yeah, but—
PB: FOREVER!!!!
[Finn facepalms, his eyes shinier and larger than usual]
Finn: Forever..!??
PB: Finally, i have a WITNESS to his misdeeds!
Jake: Two Witnesses!
Finn: Jake!
[Bonnie hugs Finn from behind, and he gets nervous]
PB: Oh, Finn, my flawless, lawless champion! Bring the Duke of Nuts to justice, the justice... [Her face turns deranged] OF A COLD DUNGEON! [Finn runs back to Jake] MUAAAAAHAHAHAAHHAAH!! [Her bodysuit starts leaking even more] HAAAAAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA!!! HA!! HA!! HA!! HEEEEEEE!!!
Finn & Jake: The Marquis of Nuts!?
Marquis: Yes!! But I didn't come alone! [shripp!]
[The turtle's head breaks, revealing the red squirrel obsessed with Jake]
Squirrel: Remember me, Jake?!
Jake: ...Nope.
[The squirrel foams from its mouth and its pupils turn red]
Squirrel: WAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!

Donny [1.21]

Finn: You stay here and take care of Donny, while I take care of a unknown possibly-deadly emergency.
Jake: (as Finn is walking off) Dude, trade me jobs!
Finn: Donny's problem is that he's treated as an outsider, like me!
Jake: You are NOT an outsider; you wear cute little blue shorts.
Finn: (Finn looks away, raising his hands) I... Am complicated...

Henchman [1.22]

Duke of Nuts: Lisby, who's at the door?
Lisby: Someone who wants to sack the nut-castle!
Duke of Nuts: Why would you want to sack my nut-castle on my second son's first birthday? SEIZE HIM!!
Finn: No!
Marceline: Hey Finn, I need you to strangle some pixies!
Finn: Yeah, sure. That sounds good.
Marceline: Whoa, why are you being so casual about that? Killing pixies is some hardcore evil.
Finn: I'm not fallin' for your junk anymore, lady. You just like saying poop that jacks with my brain.
Marceline: [Breaking] What are you talking about? I... [Laughs] Dang, man, I didn't think you'd ever catch on!
Finn: [Laughs] I knew it! Hey... what about your old henchman? Who was that guy?
Marceline: Oh, just an old diving buddy. [Jake emerges from the bushes.] [Jokingly] So, you ready to go strangle some pixies?
Finn: Yeah, man! I mean, wo-man.

Rainy Day Daydream [1.23]

BMO: Whooo wants to play video gaa~mes?
Finn and Jake: BEEMO!!
Jake: What's on the menu, Beemo?
BMO: I've created a new game called "Conversation Parade."
Finn and Jake: Ha, alright! / Start it up, Beemo!
BMO: [singing] What do you think about the stars in the sky
Finn: S'okay, I guess.
Jake: Yeah, they're cool.
BMO: That is an interesting response. Battery low! SHUTDOWN.
Jake: Hello, Finn. I am awake and healthy.
Finn: Jake, what happened to your bombastic personality?
Jake: I do not know what you mean. I am perfectly bombastic.
Finn: Nah man, nah. Something's wrong. Tell me something amazing!
Jake: But Finn, I cannot tell you something amazing, as there is nothing amazing happening around us that I can describe for you.
Finn: Aw see man, you suck now!

What Have You Done? [1.24]

Ice King: So, what am I being charged with?
Finn: Um...
Jake: Five counts of jerk-a-tearing! Hah!
Finn: Yeah. What does it matter?
Ice King: DAHH!!! Of course it matters!! The way it works is — first, I transgress your meaningless rules, and then you maliciously persecute me!
Finn: That makes sense. You do bad things, I punish you.
Ice King: FOOL!! You have disrupted that order! For — are you ready for this? I have committed no RECENT CRIME!!
Finn: Really? Um...
Ice King: [laughing] I'm rocking your worldview!
Ice King: So let me get this straight... You're hitting on me.
Bubblegum: NO!!
Lady Rainicorn: Usgisine. Dangsin-eun uli gongjunim-egeo malhal jagyeogdo eobsneun nom-iya. (Verily, you are a creature unworthy even of my lady's disdain.)
Ice King: I think I heard the word "virile" in there. Oh, she's definitely hitting on me.
Bubblegum & Rainicorn: No! / Maldoandwae! (No way!)
Ice King: BEGONE, YOU BIDDIES!!!

His Hero [1.25]

Finn: Man! I'm such a huge nerd for you! Please take on as hero apprentices!
Billy: What for?
Finn: So that we can learn to kick evil's butt, just like you!
Jake: [slides] I wanna be the dog version of you!
Billy: Aw, that would be waste of time.
Finn: Geez... I thought people would like that.
Cobbler: Why!? Why would anyone want that!?
Finn: So you can defend against evil monsters!
Cobbler: You're supposed to beat up monsters so we don't have to defend ourselves!
Finn: No, see? I'm helping you nonviolently!
Cobbler: Helping!? I can't even move my hands! I'm a cobbler, how'm I supposed to cobble with these useless chunk mitts!?

Gut Grinder [1.26]

Jake: Wait, you were gonna wee-wee if I was the Gut Grinder?
Soft Girl: Oh yeah! We're terrified of him!
Jake: THEN I AM THE GUT GRINDERRRR!!!
Soft Girl: I'M GONNA WEE-WEE!!
[she sprays liquid out of her armpits and spins around, wailing. Finn and Jake laugh]
Finn: That guy wee-wees weird!
Jake: What if I am the Gut Grinder?
Finn: What!?
Jake: What if I'm.. like, stealing gold in my sleep?
Finn: You can't be stealing gold in your sleep! [dilates] I watch you while you sleep.
Jake: Wha? Yo Finn, that is creepy, man.
Finn: I can't help it. I take pictures.
Jake: Well, when do you sleep!?
Finn: Justice never sleeps.
Jake: Well, there's gotta be a time when you're not watchin' me... tha— that I— that I might be stealing gold unconsciously!
Finn: [into Jake's ear] YOU—ARE—NOT—THE—GUT—GRINDER!!
 
Wikipedia
Wikipedia has an article about:
Retrieved from "https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Adventure_Time_(season_1)&oldid=3578703"