Yacht rock

American online video series

Yacht rock is a fictionalized online show developed for Channel 101 following the lives and careers of certain soft rockers in the late 1970s and early 1980s.

Michael McDonaldEdit

  • "The smooth grooves of this song will make it to at least Number 2."
  • "You wanna come over? James Ingram and I are getting wasted and writing smooth music."
  • "What did you say? Yah mo' be there?"
  • "Kenny snuck into the studio to record a song for Hollywood? Dear God, I hope it's smooth!"

Kenny LogginsEdit

  • "You're drowning in the past, Mike. But I've got your life vest right here: it's called the 80's, and it's gonna be around forever!"
  • "Fuck you! You're not Koko. Koko's dead as shit."
  • "When a friend is drowning in a sea of sadness, you don't just toss him a life vest, you swim one over to him."

Hollywood SteveEdit

  • "Oh hi! I'm Hollywood Steve. You've caught me relaxing in my music nook."
  • "Oh hi! I'm Hollywood Steve. You've caught me basting some lamb shanks."
  • "Oh hi! I'm Hollywood Steve. You've caught me taking a shit."
  • "Oh hi! I'm Hollywood Steve. You've caught me attending the funeral of a loved one."
  • "Oh hi! I'm Hollywood Steve. You've caught me murdering a homeless woman."
  • "Oh hi! I'm Hollywood Steve. You've caught me making love."
  • "Oh hi! I'm Hollywood Steve. You've caught me becoming estranged from my spouse."
  • "Hi, I'm Hollywood Steve. I'm ready for you this time."

Gino Balzarelli/Gene BalboaEdit

John OatesEdit

  • "Shut the fuck up! All of you, shut the fuck up! Hall and I will not stand idly by while you California vagina sailors stab the American airwaves in the balls with your shit... music."
  • "Gino will get you anything you need: fame, fortune... vagina."
  • "Get your dick out of your heart! Do you even know what the kids on the street are listening to? Disco, motherfucker!"

Walter BeckerEdit

  • "Donald says, 'Koko's not truly dead until the smooth music is.'"

Donald FagenEdit

  • <clears throat> "Eat bat, prick!"

Steve PorcaroEdit

  • "Alright Toto, I've done some research, and I've found out that the root chakra is my taint. That means she really wants to fuck me."
  • "Now, in the unlikely even that this plan should fail, I will turn to you, my brothers in Toto, to help me write a song so smooth and awesome that Rosanna Arquette will have no choice but to fuck my brains out."

Dr. DreEdit

  • "Come on Amnesia Jack, you're a Doobie Brother... Michael McDonald, one smooth motherfucker!"
  • "That's gonna be some good-ass banana bread."

External LinksEdit

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