Where in the World Is Carmen Sandiego? (TV show)

media franchise

Carmen Sandiego is the principal villain in a famous edutainment computer game series of the same name.

Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego? (game show)

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Where in the World Is Carmen Sandiego? (1991-1995) was a popular children's television game show loosely based off the computer games of the same name created by now defunct Brøderbund Software. World aired on PBS and starred Lynne Thigpen as "The Chief", with Greg Lee as "The ACME Special Agent in charge of training new recruits" and Rockapella as the house vocal band and comedy troupe. Rockapella featured Barry Carl (bass), Sean Altman, (tenor) Elliot Kerman, (baritone) and Scott Leonard (high tenor) with Jeff Thacher (vocal percussion) joining in the final season.

Where in the World Is Carmen Sandiego? (Season 1)

Season 2

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Funding Spiels

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Opening
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Chief: Today's caper is presented by WQED Pittsburgh, and WGBH Boston. Carmen's gang is bankrolled by the Corporation for Public Broadcasting, and by Viewers Like You.
Another announcer: And by Delta Airlines. Because at Delta, We love to fly and it shows.
Closing
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Chief: This program was bankrolled by the Corporation for Public Broadcasting, and by Viewers Like You.
Another announcer: And by Delta Airlines. Because at Delta, We love to fly and it shows.

Opening sequence

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Chief: Today's episode, (Insert episode title)!
[Rockapella scatting]
[Chief gives out the instructions to the gumshoe about the villain and their crime]
[Scene change to the opening sequence with the camera zooming over to a bunch of applauding studio audience]
Chief: All of these people want to know! (In Disturbing the Heavenly Piece, She went "Have no fear, The Celebrity Gumshoes are here today on,")
Rockapella: (singing as we see an animated graphic of Carmen walking, and gets flashed into the title logo) Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?
Chief: And one of these Gumshoes could find her!
[One of the Rockapella calls out the names of the gumshoe]
Chief: And here he is, The ACME agent who is in charge of new recruit, Greg Lee!

Closing byline

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Chief: All geographic information were accurate as of the date this program was recorded.

Carmen's Final Location

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  • Double Trouble: We're doin' the jailhouse rock. But it just isn't a party without Carmen Sandiego. You'll find her in (continent). (Version A)
  • Vic: If I gotta make one more license plate, I'm gonna melt my polyester! Go get Carmen to help me! She's in (continent). (Version A)
  • Robo: RoboCrook in jail? Carmen's still free? Illogical. Does not compute. Look for Carmen in (continent). (Version A)
  • Grunge: Hey! I've got some good dirt for ya. Then again, all dirt is good. Anyway, Carmen Sandiego is in (continent). (coughs and sneezes) (Version A)
  • Patty: This jail is so neat. All the colors match! Gray, gray and gray. I want Carmen to enjoy it, too. Look for her in (continent). (Version A)
  • Eartha: This is Eartha Brute calling. All I do here in jail is split rocks. I've never been so happy in all my life. Bring Carmen over to share in the fun. You'll find her in (continent). (Version A)
  • Wonder Rat: Nobody here in jail appreciates my classic good looks! Get Carmen in here! She loves me! You'll find her in (continent). (Version B)
  • Vic: Carmen's commitin' crimes while I'm penned up in prison, playin' poker for peanuts! You can find Carmen in (continent). (Version B)
  • Wonder Rat: If there's one thing a rat can do, it's rat! If you wanna find Carmen Sandiego, sniff around (continent). (Version A)
  • Patty: Carmen's still free and I'm not! Well, she can just go to fiddlesticks. Better yet, she can go to jail. To arrest her, go to (continent). (Version B)
  • Kneemoi: Gee, another amazing Earth concept. Jail! I must show this to Carmen. Look for her in (continent).
  • Grunge: I'm gettin' lonely here in jail. Me without Carmen is like a dog without a flea. (coughs) You'll find her in (continent). (sneezes) (Version B)
  • Robo: It really burns my fuses that Carmen is still free. To find her, scan (continent). (Version B)
  • Double Trouble: The warden threw a party in the county jail. The prison band was there and they began to wail... for Carmen Sandiego. Go find her in (continent). (Version B)
  • Eartha: Gee, I'm mad at Carmen! She's out there, running around, and having fun, while I'm stuck in jail! You'll find her in (continent). (Version B)
  • Double Trouble: We're partying in prison, and we crave Carmen's company. Look for her in (continent). (Version C)

Disturbing the Heavenly Peace [2.1]

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[Double Trouble steal Tiananmen Square.]

Chief: Gumshoes, Carmen Sandiego's detachment of diabolical desperados has struck again. This time, they glommed a gate in Beijing, China. In 1989, Tiananmen Square was a site of a brutal government crackdown against student demonstrators. The square is named for Tiananmen, which means the gate of heavenly peace. It was built in the 15th century, and then rebuilt in the 17th century. Tiananmen marks the entrance to the Forbidden City. In centuries past, only the emperor could enter the city through the gate's central passageway. But today, the heavenly peace was disturbed. Double Trouble, Carmen's gate-crashing party boys made a royal entrance into Beijing, grabbed the gate, and made a fast exit. Your mission, gumshoes: double up on Double Trouble, bring Tiananmen back to Beijing, and then capture Carmen Sandiego.

Chief: (After Double Trouble's profile) Pilfering and partying are the primary preferences of this pair of perpetrators.

Conrad Knuckle: (as the Chief) Greg, in my office on the double.
Greg: Okay, Chief. I'll be right there. You guys stay here. I wanna check with her. Gotta fix that sound. (enters the office) Chief, what's up?
Conrad: Greg, what's the latest on Carmen Sandiego?
Greg: Whoa, Chief. (imitates Conrad) "What's the latest on Carmen Sandiego?". (normal voice) You sound kinda weird today. What's with your voice?
Conrad: Well, Greg, that's because I'm not myself.
Greg: Okay, if you're not yourself,... then who are ya?!
Conrad: I'm Conrad Knuckle, joint director for E.M.C.A., another anti-crime agency.
Greg: EMCA? Hey, wait a minute, that's ACME spelled backwards.
Conrad: Yes. I've taken over the Chief's mind for awhile.
Greg: Well, when are you gonna stop being Conrad Knuckle, (furiously) and start being my beloved Chief again?!
Conrad: All right! As soon as I make this offer to your gumshoes. My organization, EMCA, will send whoever catches Carmen on a free trip to the sausage packing room of Mueller's meat company in Beaver Dam, Wisconsin.
Greg: Gee, Conrad, that's a nice offer, but it's not really the ACME way. I'm not sayin' it's a bad deal or anything. I'm just--
Conrad: What do you suggest?
Greg: Well, how about offering a trip to anywhere in North America to the gumshoe who captures Carmen Sandiego?
Conrad: Hmm, yeah. That might be better incentive than the meat thing. Okay. Anywhere in North America, it is.
Greg: Great.
Conrad: Now, to get me to leave the Chief's body, you must hit my shoulder repeatedly with a squeaking toy hammer.
Greg: Well, what a coincidence. (pulls one out of his jacket) Just happen to have one right here. (starts hitting the shoulder)
Chief: Greg! What on earth are you doing?!
Greg: Chief, you're back. Hi. See, your body was filled with Conrad Knuckle. He's the head of EMCA which is still good guys, but it's ACME spelled backwards, and he said I, uh, had to hit you with this. (hands the Chief the squeaking toy hammer) I'm gonna go-- Glad you're back. (exits the office)
Greg: (in feminine voice) Okay. Back to work.
(he reacts and hits himself with the hammer)
Greg: (normal voice) Okay. Back to work.

Greg: (after the Chief chases Sean and Elliot before the Chase) (laughs) My favorite part of the show.

Rockapella: (each time Tiananmen Square is revealed in the 2nd round)
Asian burglary!
Ragin' Asian!
Tension's mounting!
Pressure's building!
Go, Lindsey!
Go, Santhosh!
Go, team, go!

Jeremy: Hello? No! You cannot be on Growing Pains. Oh. (to Lindsey) It's for you. (hands Lindsey the phone)
Lindsey: Hello?
(the twins tell her to go to Asia)
Greg: So what did they say?
Lindsey: Um… Asia!
Greg: …Asia!
Jeremy: …Asia!
Greg: So that means you and I are going to… Asia!
Jeremy: …Asia!

Chief: You've done great work today. (knocks on her desk) And we're proud of you. A-- (notices that the screen isn't popping up) WALTER!! (the screen pops up with the Chief's magnifying glass) I hereby upgrade you. (she grabs her magnifying glass) You are now a Sleuth! (holds her magnifying glass in front of her eye) Congratulations!

The Immigration Station Perpetration [2.2]

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[Double Trouble steal Ellis Island]

Chief: Gumshoes, Carmen Sandiego's band of belligerent buckaroos are back in the saddle again. This time, they've heisted a hunk of historic heritage from New York Harbor. Ellis Island was the most immigration processing station in the United States. Between 1892 and 1954, more than 16 million newcomers arrived at the dots of this small, partly artificial island in New York Harbor. In fact, about half of the employees here at ACME have grandparents or great-grandparents who came through this country through Ellis. In 1990, thanks to the efforts of a commission, headed by Lee Iacocca, the new Ellis Island Museum of Immigration was opened to preserve the story of their arrival for future generations. But now, this famed gateway to America has been yanked off its hinges. Double Trouble, Carmen's dual devious delinquents, parasailed into New York Harbor, dropped a net over Ellis Island, then speedboated away. Your mission, gumshoes: burst Double Trouble's bubble, return Ellis Island to New York Harbor, and then capture Carmen Sandiego.

Greg: Oh, uh, usually, I get a call from the Chief about this... (sees on the monitor that she is absent from her office) ...time, but-- Chief? She's not there. Lemme go-- Just lemme go check on her. I'm gonna find out. You guys stay here. Just wanna find out. (enters the office) Chief! Hey, Chief! That's funny. The Chief isn't even in here. (sees a note on her desk) Wait a minute. What's this? It's a letter. (sits down; reads letter) It says: "Dear Chief, This is good-bye? I can no longer stand by where you devote all your time to capturing Carmen. What could've been will never be, because what could be can't be, if you won't be and I can't be. So good-bee..." I mean, "-bye. Signed, Horace. P.S.: I can never get used to calling you Chief." Ah! That is so sad! Oh! But I guess that's the price ya pay when ya dedicate your life to fighting crime.
(the Chief returns, wiping her eye)
Chief: Oh, Greg, I'm sorry I'm late.
Greg: Oh, Chief, that's okay.
Chief: I had something in my eye.
Greg: Well, that's perfectly understandable. It sure is. Yes, it is understandable.
Chief: What do you mean it's understandable?
Greg: Well, Chief, you know, I had my heart broken, too. Yeah. Her name was Patti Fitzbingling-Enhoffendorffer. I called her Patti. And not a day goes by when I still don't think about her, except maybe yesterday, and of course, Tuesday, I didn't think about her...
Chief: Greg, what are you blathering about?!
Greg: Well, Chief, we saw the letter, and, you know...
Chief: Oh. That! Oh. (laughs) This is a letter I got when I was just a little Chieflet in the 2nd grade. It's scrap paper! What's important is what I wrote on the back.
Greg: (sees the back of the letter) I see. ACME Memo. (reads) "To all Gumshoes, regarding reward, the agent who captures Carmen Sandiego will get a free trip anywhere in North America."
(applause)
Greg: That's great, Chief. Yeah. Uh, Chief, by the way, whatever happened to Horace? Did he get married? Or...
Chief: Go away, Greg.
Greg: Maybe it's too personal.
Chief: Greg?
Greg: Okay.
(he exits the office, and the Chief pulls out a hidden picture and looks at it in tears)
Chief: Horace.
(as for Greg, he comes out of the office, crying; the audience groans in sorrow)
Greg: Patti. (blows his nose, wipes his tears, and returns to work) Okay, Gumshoes!

Rockapella: (each time Ellis Island is revealed in the 2nd round; the first three are parts of the "Gilligan's Island" theme song)
A three hour tour!
Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale!
The movie star!
The Loot!

The Blarney Burglary [2.3]

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[Vic the Slick steals the Blarney Stone]

Chief: Gumshoes, Carmen Sandiego and her consortium of cretinous creeps have struck again. This time, the deed was done on the Emerald Isle. Blarney, a tiny village just outside of Cork City, has a reputation much bigger than its size. That's because its ruined castle is home to the famed Blarney Stone. Legend says if you kiss the stone, you'll be able to charm and deceive people with your words. In other words, you'll be full of Blarney. Supposedly, this superstition started because Queen Elizabeth I of England asked the castle owner Cornac McDermott McCarthy to surrender the place. For years, he strung her along with flattering words and soft speech, and she never got the castle. One day, fed up with his excuses, the Queen cried, "What? More Blarney?" Folks who want McCarthy gifts of Blarney have been bending over backwards to kiss the stone ever since. Or they were until Vic the Slick, Carmen Sandiego's sleazy salesperson, blundered into town and plundered the stone. Gumshoes, your mission is to get that rock to Emerald Isle, stick Vic in the slammer quick, and then catch Carmen Sandiego.

Chief: (after Vic's Profile) He thinks he's a high living playboy, but he's really just a low rent hustler.

Chief: (as her office tilts to the left) Greg, come into my office.
Greg: Right, Chief. I'll be right there. You guys stay here. I wanna check with her. Looks like this may be serious. Be right back. (enters the office) Chief,-- (the office tilts to the right) Whoa! Chief, what's happenin' today?
Chief: Well, the office is being balanced today.
Greg: Balanced?
Chief: Mm-hmm.
Greg: What do you mean balanced?
Chief: Well, as a building gets older, it settles usually unevenly and every few years, the ACME Balancing Bureau. They come in and they rebalance my office.
Greg: No kiddin'.
Chief: Yeah.
Greg: (wiggles around, which causes the office to do the same) It's somethin'. (laughs)
Chief: Yeah. Uh, how close are you to nabbing Carmen?
Greg: Well, that's a very good question, Chief. You know, she can be very elusive sometimes. Sometimes, she's over here. (runs the left side of the office and it tilts in that direction)
Chief: Whoa!
Greg: And we think we've got her and (runs back to the right and the office tilts in that direction) we've gotta move back over this way and she's right-- You feelin' okay there, Chief? You look maybe sick.
Chief: I get the point, Greg.
Greg: I would hope so, Chief. You know, sometimes, when I think it's some of the capers she's pulled, it turns my stomach, too.
Chief: Yeah.
Greg: Uh, what do you think we oughta give the gumshoe that captures Carmen Sandiego? You know, I've been thinkin' about this and part of me sayin-- (he is about to make the office tilt to the left, but the Chief stops him)
Chief: Greg. Let's give the gumshoe who nabs Carmen Sandiego a free trip to anywhere in North America! (applause)
Greg: That's good.
Chief: Yeah.
Greg: That's good. Because that way (runs to the left) when she's over here.
Chief: Greg!
Greg: We're gonna know when she's right there. And then right before she moves, (runs to the right) we'll be right over there. Chief, you don't look so good.
Chief: Greg, I'll feel a lot better when you go away.
Greg: Chief, someday you're gonna miss me. (runs to the left and back to the right and exits the office)

Vic: Carmen, I don't know about this Blarney Stone. It hasn't changed the way I talk at all.
Carmen: That's because you're already full of Blarney, Vic. Listen. Head for the rocky cliffs of the Monterey Peninsula. This area used to supply sand to the golf courses all over the country.
Vic: Hey, I love Golf!
Carmen: You'll be near the town where celebrities come every year to Golf in the National Pro-Am tournament. Bing Crosby founded the tourney in 1936.
Vic: Hey, I love Bing, too. (sings "White Christmas") I'm dreamin' of a White Christmas. (laughs)
Greg: Hmmm, usually that song puts me in a very festive mood, but now I'm a little nauseous.

Plastic Diver Guy: Vic just hid the Blarney Stone in the Charles River. He's in a city that's home to hundreds of thousands of Irish-Americans, and they've seen their share of Blarney. During the 1920's, Mayor James Curley sweet-talked his way into office, even though he was indicted for fraud.
Greg: Was he convicted?
Plastic Diver Guy: He spent the first 5 months of his mayoral term in jail. It's also home to that snooty PBS station that wouldn't hire me to host NOVA, even though I begged!
Greg: Now, come on. That is a very lengthy process.
Plastic Diver Guy: Uh-oh! Greg! It's the ominous music! Oh, no! It's too late! It's... IT'S...! (he suddenly gargles when a huge doll lands on him)
Rockapella: The one and only Plastic Diver Guy!
(applause)
Greg: Plastic Diver Guy!

Rockapella: (as the Blarney Stone is revealed) Blarney Rubble!

What's What With Watts? [2.4]

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[Kneemoi steals the Watts Tower from Los Angeles]

Chief: Gumshoes, Carmen Sandiego's horde of harsh-hearted harpies has struck again. This time, they heinously ham-fisted their way into L.A. In a Los Angeles neighborhood called Watts stands a fantastic triple spires sculpture called Watts Towers. Two of the three towers rise almost 100 feet. Begun about 1921, the towers took 33 years to build. They're made of broken bottles, seashells, shards of tile and china, and all kinds of other scrap parts. Most people didn't recycle back then, but the sculptor was ahead of his time. He was an Italian immigrant named Simon Rodia, and he built them as his personal tribute to the land that took him in. To many residents of this mostly poor urban neighborhood, the towers symbolize hope. In the winter of 1990, Watts Towers was designated a national historic landmark. But now, the landmark is lost because Kneemoi, Carmen's close encounter of the criminal kind, wheezed into Watts, tipped the towers, and towed them away. She said they were just like the flowers on her home planet, Roddenberry. Your mission, gumshoes: neutralize Kneemoi, take back the towers, and then bring Carmen Sandiego to justice.

A Carmen for Carmen (I Only Have Islands For You) [2.5]

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[Vic the Slick steals Carmen Island.]

Chief: Gumshoes, Carmen Sandiego's barbaric batch of baboons have struck again. This time, it was a case of Mexican mayhem in the Gulf of California. Eons ago, the peninsula of Baja California broke loose from what is now Mexico and drifted northwest, leaving a few islands in its wake. One of them is a beachcomber's paradise named Carmen. The island is home to beaches, wildlife, an abandoned saltworks, and only one man. He looks after the deserted town of Salinas. But today, the population doubled when Vic the Slick slithered ashore. His boss's birthday is coming up and he figured an island named Carmen would be the perfect gift. Stealing it was the easy part. Wrapping it will be tough. Your mission, gumshoes: show Vic he's not so slick, return the island of Carmen to Mexico, and then capture Carmen Sandiego.

Carmen: They're on to you, Vic. Hide Carmen Island on Devil's Island in South America.
Vic: You mean the famous prison?
Carmen: It's not a prison anymore. Now tourists go there believe it or not, and it's in the same place that the launch site used by the European space program.
Vic: I didn't know Europe was puttin' people in orbit.
Carmen: Not people. Satellites. The space program is run as a business. They launch satellites for companies and other nations.
Vic: A space business, huh? Geez, those frequent flier miles must really add up.

Joey: Okay, gumshoes. Look for Vic in Asir National Park. There's hiking, cool temperatures, and mountain scenery, and it's a Mideast nation with one of the world's largest deserts. The desert's about the size of France, but so hot and so dry that almost no one goes there. No wonder Vic headed for the hills, but you gotta keep the heat on.

Rockapella: (each time Carmen Island is revealed in the 2nd round)
Beach booty!
Mr. Lonely!
No cable!
Lost lagoon!
Far from Greg's house!
Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale!
Lookin' for an island!
Lil' buddy!
Let's go to Greg's house!

No Brainer [2.6]

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[RoboCrook steals a Brain Institute.]

Chief: Gumshoes, Carmen Sandiego and her slew of smarmy smugglers have struck again. This time, they burgled a batch of brains in Russia. Moscow's Academy of Medical Sciences is home to a unique group of laboratories, the Brain Institute. For nearly 70 years, scientists there have collected the brains of deceased poets, painters, physicists, and presidents. That grey matter has been sliced, diced, pickled, and tickled, all in an effort to determine whether great minds are anatomically different from the average brain on the street. The lists of noggins in a jar reads like a who's who of the former Soviet union. There's Vladimir Lenin, founder of the Soviet state, tyrannical dictator Joseph Stalin, writer Maxim Gorky, and poet Vladimir Mayakovsky to name a few. There are even animal brains including those of an Indian elephant and a Mississippi alligator. If you're a fan of frontal lobes, if you crave cortex, if you're serious about cerebellum, this is a place to be. Or it was until Robocrook, that pilfering pile of artificial stupidity, raided the institute and cribbed crania. Gumshoes, your mission is to bring in Robocrook, bring back the brains, and then bring down Carmen Sandiego.

Contractor: You guys are great. You know what else I like? I like every day, (to Greg) when you come into the office here, (to the Chief) and you tell him (Greg) to...
Greg and The Chief: "Go away.". (they all laugh, and the contractor heads back to work)
Greg: Well, he really likes that part.
Chief: You, too.
Greg: Yes, ma'am. (he exits the office)
Greg: I tell ya, Norm Abram would be proud! (laughter)

(Rockapella parodies "The Brady Bunch" theme song)
Scott: Here's the story of the Florida city...
That was founded back in 1824.
As the capital of the territory.
Who could ask for more?
It's a college town, and Robo's got the brains.
At FSU and ANM, he stopped for lunch.
Then he did a little fishing at Lake Jackson.
And that's where Robo stashed the Brainy Bunch.
Sean: Oh, the Brainy Bunch.
Scott and Elliot: Brainy Bunch.
Sean: The Brainy Bunch.
Scott and Elliot: Brainy Bunch.
All: That is where Robo stashed the Brainy Bunch!
Sean: Oh, yeah!
All: Ba-da ba-da ba-ba-da-bop!
Greg: Rockapella, ladies and gentlemen!

Greg: (about Robo during The Chase round) He hid out in the capital of Georgia. Name it. (Kristyna buzzes in)
Greg: Kristyna?
Kristyna: What is Atlanta? (laughter)
Greg: Atlanta's right! Welcome to Jeopardy! and Carmen Sandiego.

Greg: (imitates Alex Trebek's voice) Hi. I'm Alex Trebek, and now it's time for final clue of this round (normal voice) which means you have to decide how much you wanna to risk.

Rockapella: Goin' out of my head over you!

The Autobahn Con [2.7]

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[Grunge steals the Autobahn]

Chief: Gumshoes, Carmen Sandiego and her mob of mulish miscreants have marauded again. The dirty deed was done in Deutschland. Begun in the 1930s, the Autobahn was the world's first attempt at creating a national highway system. Today, it winds some 10,000 miles throughout Germany, and is thought to be the only major highway in the world without a speed limit. Well, today, Top Grunge grind his way to Germany and got a grip on the famous roadway. It will be sad faces and slow driving all over the land until their beloved Autobahn is returned. Gumshoes, your mission is to release the Autobahn from bondage, topple Top Grunge, and then capture crime queen Carmen Sandiego.

Grunge: Wow. What a great road. No speed limit! (laughs)
Carmen: Stop laughing and start leaving, asphalt breath. I want you to haul the highway to N'Djamena. It's the capital of a landlocked African nation.
Grunge: I don't know, Carmen. Ain't there a war goin' on?
Carmen: No. The Muslim nomads in the north and the non-Muslim farmers in the south used to fight each other, but that's over. If the city's too risky, head north to the mountains of the Sahara Desert. And get a camel their blanket. It's cold there.
Grunge: Sounds kinda itchy, Carmen. You know how sensitive my skin is.
Carmen: That's only because you never washed it.

(garbled audio)
Greg: 'Scuse me just one moment. I think I'm getting a message from Kafka. (sets off for The Roach Hotel) Let's check into The Roach Hotel.
Kafka: Greg, hi. You caught me eating lunch. Anyway, Grunge is on a Peninsula in the Atlantic. Where birds from all over stop on their way south every year. Humans seem to like it, too. The town on the Peninsula's tip is full of lovely Victorian boarding houses and Hotels. The birds like it. The humans like it, but it just isn't damp and stinky enough for a roach like me. Speaking of damp and stinky, I love these things. They're awful.

The Cave Art Caper [2.8]

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[Patty Larceny steals the Lascaux Cave paintings.]

Chief: Gumshoes, Carmen Sandiego and her pack of pusillanimous punks have pounced again. This time, they cause a fracas in France. Back on September 12, 1944, boys near Montignac, France spent an afternoon exploring underground caverns. And look what they found on the rock walls inside: 600 paintings, 1500 engravings, and innumerable dots and figures and... Scientists later determined that the images of deer, bison, lions, horses, and a human had ben created 17,000 years ago. These beautiful graceful figures are the clearest, most direct evidence we have of what life was like for humans of the Stone Age. The caverns are now known as the Lascaux Caves, and the young men made one of the great discoveries of the century. But today, Patty Larceny pulled one of the gravest crimes of the century. She crawled into the cave and pinched all the paintings. Apparently, she plans to sign her name to them and turn them in as her art project in school. Gumshoes, your mission is to put Patty in the pin, put the paintings back in the cave, and then put an end to Carmen Sandiego's crime spree.

Chief: (after Patty's Profile is shown) She's the most dangerous criminal who ever polished an apple.

Chief: Oh. Excuse me. You've got to grab a bite to eat when you can on this job. Hmm? I just can't resist a plate of fried shrimp. But, let's get down to business. Patty Larceny was last seen in a city on the northwestern shore of the Gulf of Mexico. Now, this area is home to many Vietnamese families who move there during the 1970s and 80s from their war-torren homeland. Because of the warm weather in costal locations, a lot of these immigrants went back into the business they had left behind in Asia. (about her fried shrimp) Shrimping, hmm? Now, Patty might hide the paintings behind the 10-mile long seawall, built to protect the city from hurricanes. Now, you catch her before those priceless pictures are washed away!
Greg: Thanks, Chief. Will do. Uh, enjoy your lunch.

Greg: (about the Stool Pigeon) Yeah, yeah. He just can't seem to keep his beak shut!

Greg: All right gumshoes… (Acts disgusted) Pardon me, I'm better now.

Chief: (in a high squeaky voice) Greg, come into my office. And hurry!
Greg: Okay, Chief. I'll-- I'll be right there. You guys wanna stay here. Uh, looks like the Chief might need me. (enters the office) Chief?! Hey, Chief... Wow, that's odd. WHOA! Look at the size of that bug on the Chief's desk! I'll squash it with this book.
Chief: No, Greg! No! No! No! It's me! The Chief!
Greg: Chief?! That's you?! That's an amazing disguise! How'd you get so tiny?!
Chief: The gang at ACME Shrinking-Things Net accidentally shrunk me, so, uh, the effects haven't worn off yet.
Greg: Well, that's too bad, Chief. I guess you could say they made a *tiny* mistake.
Chief: Greg.
Greg: It was just a little joke, Chief. Come on! Look on the bright side. You'll never be late cuz you know all the shortcuts. (laughs)
Chief: Greg?
Greg: Come on, you can always get work as a short-order cook! (laughs)
Chief: That will be quite enough, Greg! Now, listen. You go back and tell the gumshoes, that the one who captures Carmen Sandiego will get an all-expenses-paid trip to anywhere in North America!
Greg: That's good, Chief. A little *wee* bit of incentive. (laughs)
Chief: You're making me mad, Greg!
Greg: Now, Chief, don't get short-tempered! I mean, you can always get into the movies for half-price, and you'll be the last one to know that it's raining.
(all of a sudden, the Chief returns to her normal size)
Chief: Greg?
Greg: Uh... H-h-hi, Chief?
(the Chief kneels down before him)
Chief: Go away!
(Greg exits the office)
Greg: Didn't really matter. I was outta small jokes anyway.

Carmen: The gumshoes are after you, Patty. Take the cave paintings to the northernmost part of the Indian Ocean.
Patty: Is it a gulf?
Carmen: No, it's a sea.
Patty: But I thought a sea was an inland body of saltwater.
Carmen: Not this one. It's part of the ocean that extends into the continent.
Patty: But that's a gulf!
Carmen: It looks like a gulf, but it's called a sea! See?
Patty: Si. Uh, I mean, yes.
Carmen: Good. Cruise up the coast of Oman. Maybe ACME will think you're just another oil-tanker.
Patty: Carmen, who do you think I am, Top Grunge?

Cree: Patty Larceny, you just flunked current events! EEEHHH! Thanks for playing Patty.
Charnelle: EEEHHH!

Chief: They named a small hill after one sibling, a road after another, but, the oldest son, Kyi, they named the whole town after him, Kiev. Now, this will come as no surprise to anyone who has a big brother.

(an image of a decaying skeleton is shown)
Chief: Talk to our agent on the inside. He's been there for quite awhile, so he knows what's up. And don't let the disguise fool you, he's a heck of a dancer! And now, you'd better to some fancy stepping too, gumshoes. Patty and the Lascaux Cave paintings are in Kiev. Go get 'em.

Rockapella: (each time the Lascaux Cave paintings are revealed in the 2nd round)
Lascaux Van Gough!
Subterranean Scratchings!
Barry: Gentlemen, dip your brushes.
Greg: (laughs) What?!

Chief: This is Lynne Thigpen speaking for Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego? and remember: If you're a villain, we'll burst your bubble. When crooks meet ACME, their troubles double!

Trouble On Tanganyika [2.9]

edit

[Eartha Brute steals the Liemba Ferry.]

Chief: Gumshoes, Carmen Sandiego's ring of reprehensible reprobates have struck again. This time, they filched a ferry on Lake Tanganyika in Africa. The MV Liemba is one of the world's oldest operating steamboats. It runs up and down Lake Tanganyika between the towns of Bujumbura, Burundi, Kigoma, Tanzania, and Mpulungu, Zambia. But the boat is extra important to the smaller villages along the route, most of which have no other public transportation. If you lived, for instance, in its village of Lagosa, that ferry might be your only connection with the rest of the world. The boat was built in 1914, sunk during World War I, salvaged in the 1920s, and has been running ever since. But now, this faithful ferry floats no more. Eartha Brute, Carmen's herculean hooligan, sucked the lake dry, shanghaied the ship, and then carried it away. Your mission, gumshoes: put Brute behind bars, liberate the Liemba, and then capture Carmen Sandiego.

Chief: (as her phone rings constantly) Greg, come here to my office.
Greg: Yes, ma'am. I'll-- I'll be right there. You guys stay here. I wanna check with her. Somethin' strange is goin' on. (he enters the office) Chief, your phone's ringing.
Chief: Yes. It's been ringing all day. But whenever I pick it up, there's no one on the other end!
Greg: I hear it. Let me try it. (picks up the phone) ACME Crime Net! Yeah. She's right here. (hands the phone to the Chief) It's for you, Chief.
Chief: (to phone) Hello? (firmly) Hello? (furiously) Hello?! D'oh! (hangs up) They did it again! It's probably Carmen up to her old tricks. You know, it's a fine mess when I can't answer my own phone.
Greg: Chief, wait a minute. There's somethin' in your ear. That's why--
Chief: What?
Greg: There's something in your ear!
Chief: Oh, there is?
Greg: Yeah. Lemme-- You want me to get it out? (pulls out an earplug) Oh. Oh. Oh, Chief, no wonder you couldn't hear. You had an earplug in your ear.
Chief: (laughs) Of course. It was noisy last night, and I put in my earplugs. That's much better.
Greg: I bet so. Yeah. Now, is there anything you want me to tell my Gumshoes today?
Chief: Yes. Tell them if Carmen is put behind bars, the Gumshoe packs her in the slammer will get a free trip anywhere in North America!
(applause)
Greg: That is good news, Chief.
Chief: Listen. You get out there. Get back to work, Greg. Huh?
Greg: Yes, ma'am. Okay.
Chief: Oh, and one-- By the way, could you get this one out?
Greg: Oh, yeah. Sure. Lemme see. Oh.
Chief: Yeah.
Greg: Oh. (pulls out the other earplug and brings it with him as he exits the office) Oh, okay. Oh.
Chief: Oh.
Greg: Bye, Chief.
Chief: Ooh, yeah. Bye.

Rockapella: (chatter like the Beatles)
Greg: Wait a minute. I'm getting a Fab 4 kinda feeling and I think we're drawn to this television. (turns a knob bellow the monitor, then hits the side and Rockapella appear on it dressed as The Beatles and perform a parody of "Yesterday")

Rockapella (singing to the tune of the "Chattanooga Choo-Choo" as the Liemba Ferry is revealed in the 2nd round): Pardon me, boys, is that the Tanganyika Ferry, Greggie?
Greg: (laughs) The Beatles, ladies and gentlemen.

(phone rings and Greg answers it)
Greg: Do you wanna take it or should I?
Daniel: You can take it.
Greg: I'll take it first. Hello? No, you don't want me. Okay. (hands Daniel the phone) They never want me.
Daniel: Hello? (Eartha tells Daniel to go to Asia)

Greg: (sees Daniel trip and fall) Oh! Careful. (he runs to him) You all right? Come on. You all right? Come on. You got it? (buzzer sounds) Oh, are you okay, buddy?
Daniel: Yeah.
Greg: Okay. How many did you get there? You got how many? How many? 6 in 45 seconds. You guys, give him the biggest round of applause you possibly can.

Greg: (holds up the red siren light of a broken marker) We have the head here! We almost got her!

Bad Day On Broadway [2.10]

edit

[Double Trouble steal the Tony Awards.]

Chief: Gumshoes, Carmen Sandiego's pack of pestiferous picaroons has struck again. They burgled beneath the bright lights of Broadway in New York City. The ultimate prize in movies is the Oscar. For television, it's the Emmy. But for a Broadway theater, the Tony Award reigns supreme. The awards were established in 1947 by the American Theater Wing, a nonprofit organization that promotes theater in America. They were named Tony in honor of Antoinette Perry, an actress, director, and producer. Each spring, the Tonys are presented live on Broadway before a television audience of millions of viewers worldwide. But now, the bright lights of Broadway have dimmed in despair because the Tonys are gone. That dastardly duo known as Double Trouble crashed the ceremony and made off with the mounted medallions. Gumshoes, you've got to derail Double Trouble, return the Tonys to Broadway, and then capture Carmen Sandiego.

Chief: (upside-down) Greg, come into my office.
Greg: Yes, ma'am. I sure will. You guys will stay here. I'm gonna get to the bottom of this. (enters the office, where it has been turned upside-down) Chief, what are you doin' on the ceiling?
Chief: I was just about to ask you the same question.
Greg: I'm on the floor, Chief.
Chief: Oh, no! I must have gotten so upset by Carmen's latest caper that I just flipped!
Greg: Well, what do you want me to do about it?
Chief: Well, you'll have to turn the verto-inverter knob. That should flip me back. It's over by the light switch.
Greg: All right. (goes to the entrance of the office, turns the knob, and the office is turned right-side up. However, Greg is now upside-down as he walks back to the Chief) Ah, Chief, nothin' happened!
Chief: Yes, it did. Now, I'm right-side up and you're upside-down.
Greg: I can't stay like this. What am I gonna tell my gumshoes?
Chief: Well, you can tell them that whoever captures Carmen Sandiego will get a trip to anywhere in North America!
(applause)
Greg: Now, Chief, that's one good thing. Wait a minute, I got an idea. (flips the office upside down and himself right-side up)
Chief: Greg, put me back!
Greg: No.
Chief: Greg, you put me back this minute! (Greg puts his fingers in his ears and sings goofily)
Greg: Can't hear ya, Chief. (continues singing)
Chief: Greg, you get me on the floor, now!
Greg: Nanny-nanny-poo-poo! (he leaves)
Chief: Greg, when I get down on the floor, you have no idea the things that I can do to you. I'm the Chief! You know that we-- (the office is flipped right-side up and Greg is sideways)
Greg: See? I got ya mad. You flipped again. It worked! Whaddaya say, Chief?
Chief: Go away, Greg.
Greg: I think I'm gonna... just... slide on outta here. (slides out of the office) It's really hard on the arches.

Carmen: Take the Tonys to an African country, where theater has been used as a weapon.
Double Trouble: Well, that's a pretty big weapon to carry around, Carmen.
Carmen: Not that kind of weapon. Playwrights like Athol Fugard and Mbongeni Ngema use their words as weapons to fight apartheid.
Double Trouble: Wow! That takes courage.
Carmen: That's right. Now, apartheid is ending and the country's creating a new constitution with equality for all.
Double Trouble: Well, let's give those playwrights a Tony or 2. We've got a ton of 'em.
Carmen: If you flash those awards, the only bright lights you'll see will be on the guard towers in prison.
Double Trouble: Oh, Carmen, you never let us have any fun.
Greg: Too bad, guys.

Rockapella: Filched Follies!

The Boll Weevil Retrieval [2.11]

edit

[Kneemoi steals the Boll Weevil Monument from Enterprise, Alabama.]

Chief: Gumshoes, Carmen Sandiego's crew of craven cretins has struck again. This time, it was a case of evil weevil in Enterprise, Alabama. This is a boll weevil, an insect that damages cotton by laying eggs in the young bud of a plant. A horde of these critters can destroy many acres of cotton. The last thing you'd build a monument to, right? Wrong. This Boll Weevil Monument was erected in Enterprise in 1919. Here's the story: Alabama used to have a one crop economy, and that crop was cotton. But in the early 1900s, the boll weevil got busy. For two years in a row, these hungry little critters ate huge portions of the cotton crop in Coffee County, Alabama before it could be picked. Did the farmers give up hope? Nope, they started raising other things like livestock and peanuts. The state developed a diverse and healthier economy, and wound up more prosperous than it was when they relied on just one crop. And Enterprisians thought it would be nice to thank those esteemed boll weevils for their help. But the insect inspired statue has been stolen. Kneemoi, Carmen's cosmological con artist, beamed into Enterprise, beamed up the monument, and whisked it away. Your mission, gumshoes: neutralize Kneemoi, return the weevil to Enterprise, and then capture Carmen Sandiego.

Greasy Getaway [2.12]

edit

[Top Grunge steals Nigeria's oil wells.]

Chief: Gumshoes, Carmen Sandiego's gaggle of greedy goody grampers have grabbed once more. This time, it happened in Africa's most populous country, Nigeria. Nigeria's size and strategic location have made it a center of power in Africa for thousands of years. In recent years, its power and success have come from oil. In the 70s, oil production brought new highways, universities, and lots of new money to Nigeria. It also brought political corruption, pollution, and overcrowded cities. In fact, everyone got so busy with the oil industry that farming almost disappeared. But when oil prices crashed in the 80s, the country's economy crashed, too. Well, yesterday, Top Grunge created another problem. He stole all of Nigeria's oil wells. He likes to stay greasy, so he wants to best petroleum supply all to himself. Gumshoes, your job is to grab the greasy geek, return the oil and then arrest that heinous hooligan Carmen Sandiego.

Tango Mysterioso [2.13]

edit

[Kneemoi steals Tango music from Buenos Aires, Argentina.]

Chief: Gumshoes, Carmen Sandiego's band of blasphemous black hearts has struck again. This time, they stole the musical soul from Buenos Aires, Argentina. The Argentines have a rich cultural life reflecting both their European and Native American roots, but if you wanted to sum up their culture with one sound and sight, you might just choose the Tango. The dance and the sensuous brooding music that accompanies it began in the slums of Buenos Aires, and became internationally popular in the 1920s. The fad faded elsewhere, but Argentina developed the Tango into an art form. There are professional exhibitions, dance halls that cater to tangoing couples, and hits tango records. But yesterday, Kneemoi, Carmen's interplanetary instigator, TKO'd the Tango. Just one blast from her subatomic neutralizer and the top tangoers became complete klutzes. Your mission, gumshoes: wrangle the Tango from Kneemoi, return it to Argentina, and then bring Carmen Sandiego to justice.

The Statue Steal (Togo to Go) [2.14]

edit

[Wonder Rat steals the statue of Gnassingbe Eyadema from Sarakawa, Togo]

Chief: Gumshoes, Carmen Sandiego's pack of pusillanimous punks has prowled again. This time, they clinched their criminal claws around a statue in the African nation in Togo. A monument to a plane wreck might seem strange, but it's one of the main attractions in the town of Sarakawa, Togo. It marks the spot where a plane carrying president Eyadema crashed under very suspicious circumstances in 1974. The president survived the crash and erected and imposing statue of himself at the site. It shows him pointing to the ground and saying, "They almost killed me here." It stood in defiance of the president's enemies until today when Wonder Rat, Carmen's whiskered and witless wannabe, took his tawdry tights to Togo, detached the statue, and scampered away. He left an inflatable Wonder Rat doll in its place. Your mission, gumshoes: snap the trap shut on Wonder Rat, return Edadema's statue to Togo, and then capture Carmen Sandiego.

Chief: (after Wonder Rat's profile) He's so desperate to promote himself, he'd pose for the photo on a box of rat poison.

Carmen: ACME's about to trap you. Head for a city whose population went from 0 to 10,000 in one day.
Wonder Rat: Holy cheese! Why do they hurry?
Carmen: Because the US government was giving the land away. It's in a state that was called Indian Territory until it was open for settlement. At noon on April 22, 1889, gunshots were fired. That was the signal for thousands of people to charge in and state their claims.
Wonder Rat: So, the government took Indian Territory and gave it away to other people? Nyah, that's stealin'.
Carmen: You oughta know, Cheesemeister. Now, move.

Chief: This marker stands at the southernmost point in the US outside of Hawaii, and-- Oh, now, will you look at that? What? See those two names on top? Someone has thoughtlessly put graffiti on it. Let's try to get a closer look on them. (the camera zooms up closer to the top of the marker) Focus on them. Uh,-- Oh, yes. Sue and Janet. Well, I can't quite make out the last name. Well, Sue and Janet, if you're watching this show, how does it feel to have 5,000,000 people know you have defaced public property?

Rockapella: (to the tune of the Bee-Gee's "Stayin' Alive"; when the statue is revealed) Ah, ah, ah, ah, Stayin' Alive! Stayin' Alive!

The Amazing Boomerang Effect [2.15]

edit

[Robocrook steals Australia's bommerangs]

Chief: Gumshoes, Carmen Sandiego and her brood of bombastic brats have burgled again. This time, they struck in Mudgeeraba, Australia. Now this simple but ingenious device, gumshoes, is a boomerang. Now if you throw it right, it should return to you. Now the boomerang was originally used by Australia's aborigines for hunting warfare and ceremonies. Well, nowadays, it's a popular toy and a souvenir for anyone who visits down under, and this factory in Mudgeeraba, Queensland turns out thousands of them a year. Or it did until this morning when that rustbucket Robocrook marauded to Mudgeeraba and bagged every last boomerang. Gumshoes, your assignment is to wrangle Robocrook, bounce those boomerangs back where they belong, and then catch Carmen Sandiego.

Robo: Carmen, ACME is closing in. Send me somewhere safe.
Carmen: Head for the city of Göteborg by the North Sea. It's in a country where peace and safety are a way of life. It's in the nation of Doug Hammershald, who founded the UN Peacekeeping Force in the middle east.
Robo: So, it's peaceful, but is it safe?
Carmen: Violence is a no-no. It's even illegal for parents to spank their children.
Robo: So, the Gumshoes can't spank me?
Carmen: No, but they can still bust you. Keep out of sight.

Robo: Robocrook transmitting from a correctional institute. Carmen Sandiego presently located in South America. Ta-ta.

School's Out (What Happenda U?) [2.16]

edit

[Patty Larceny steals the University of Costa Rica]

Chief: Gumshoes, Carmen Sandiego's horde of heisted hooligans has heisted again. This time, they hid a college just outside of San José, Costa Rica. The University of Costa Rica is the nation's largest, oldest, and one of the most prestigious institutes of higher learning. Its some 28,000 students follow a rigorous schedule which begins in February and ends in December. Although similar in many ways a U. S. university, Costa Rican educational requirements are particularly demanding. Students must complete 300 hours of community service and write a thesis or pass a graduate exam in order to earn their degree. Now, school's out for good in Costa Rica because the university has disappeared. Patty Larceny, Carmen's brainy burglarizer, pretended she was taking final exams, but took the whole school instead. Your mission, gumshoes: put the padlock on Patty, return the University of Costa Rica, and then capture Carmen Sandiego.

Rockapella: (sings to the tune of Alice Cooper's "School's Out") School's out forever!
Greg: Nice job. Rockapella, ladies and gentlemen.

Rockin' Rio Ripoff [2.17]

edit

[Double Trouble steal the Son Libre Recording studio from Rio de Janeiro]

Chief: Gumshoes, Carmen Sandiego's bevvy of brazen bandoleros has struck again. This time, they've made musical mayhem in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. Brazilian pop combines African, European, and American styles into a sound all its own. Stars like band leader Gilberto Gil, songwriter Antônio Carlos Jobim, and singer Laura Thorén have sold millions of discs worldwide, and influence musicians like Paul Simon and David Byrne. Rio de Janeiro is a center of Brazil's music scene. Many a hit is laid down in places like this, the Son Libre Recording studio. Most of Brazil's top players have recorded there. But now, they've had to stop tape because the studio has disappeared. Double Trouble, those matching, misdemeaning mobsters, have stolen the studio and are trying to set their own entertainment empire. Gumshoes, duty calls and your mission is to detain Double Trouble, restore the studio, and snag that scurrilous schemer Carmen Sandiego.

Greg: I guess that Double Trouble are in that very same country.
Rockapella: Good guess, Greg!
Greg: Thank you very much. (laughter)

Chief: Greg, my office, now.
Greg: Yes, ma'am. I'll be right there. You guys stay here. I'm gonna go check with her. Time for my daily chat with the Chief. (enters the office, where the Chief is missing some of her things)
Chief: Greg-- Greg, I feel like I'm going crazy!
Greg: What's the matter, Chief?
Chief: Things are disappearing. Like my ACME Crimenet fountain pen. I had it just now and it's gone. I can't find it.
(a strange hand gives it back)
Greg: Uh, Chief, is this your, uh, fountain pen?
Chief: What? Greg, (Greg laughs) where did you find that?
Greg: I don't know. What else do you need?
Chief: My coffee mug.
Greg: Coffee, uh, mug. (receives it from the hand) Uh, is this it?
Chief: Yes. (Greg laughs) Where did you find--
Greg: Well, I don't know. Uh, what else do you-- Missing, Chief?
Chief: Uh, nothing. No. Um, my piggy bank.
(the hand gives it back)
Greg: Piggy bank. Ha!
Chief: A-ha! Uh-uh. My slot is on the top.
Greg: (throws away the piggy bank) Chief, I knew that.
Chief: Greg, what is going on here.
Greg: Honestly, Chief, I don't know, uh--
(the hand shows a magnifying glass)
Chief: What?
Greg: Oh.
Chief: What? What are you?
Greg: I think he's tryin' to give you a clue, Chief.
Chief: Clues? Oh, the detective... (the hand shows a Carmen hat) who puts Carmen Sandiego... (the hand shows jail bars) behind bars... (the hand shows a small model airplane and hands it to Greg) wins a free trip...
Greg: Can I keep this?
Chief: No. (the hand shows a map of North America) anywhere... in North America!
(applause and confetti falls on the two)
Greg: Oh, Chief, now that is great, huh? Uh-- (the hand motions for Greg to go away) Oh, look. Uh, I think tryin' to tell me somethin'. Scratch my back.
Chief: No, no, no, Greg. Go away. (Greg exits the office) Go away. (mouths "Go away." to the audience)
Greg: Hey guys, check it out. I got this cool little plane. (the hand knocks on the door and Greg opens it) Yeah? (hands the hand the plane) Wasn't that cool?

Carmen: Boys, the heat's on. Head for the cooling trade winds in a South Pacific Paradise called Pora Pora.
Double Trouble: Sounds real nice. But isn't it pronounced Bora Bora?
Carmen: Not in Tahitian. That language has no letter B. It's Pora Pora, which means first born.
Double Trouble: Well, what do we do for entertainment?
Carmen: Go to La Fete de Juillet. It's a 2-week celebration that happens every July. There's everything from canoe racing to ceremonial fire walks across burning coals.
Double Trouble: We've gotta find some hot dates there.

Rockapella: (sings the end of their song parody of The Beatles' "Money (That's What I Want)") Yeah, yeah, yeah! Yeah, YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH...!!!
Greg: (closes the door) This is "rock ending", if you've noticed it.
Rockapella: (reopen the door) YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAH...! (Greg tries to keep the door shut while reading the next question)

Rockapella: (sings) The Chaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaase!!!
Greg: (after he shoves Rockapella away before the Chase) Gotta maintain control.

(an image of the Missouri River is shown)
Chief: The Missouri River. Exactly the sort of place those bad boys might make their music. In the 20's, its shores were a haven for tough guys, gamblers, backsliders, cattle rustlers, meat mustlers, (shouts) cheaters, crooks, creeps, cretins...! (her phone rings and she picks up) HELLO?! No-- I am calm! (hangs up) (calmly) It's time to send those crooks up the river. Double Trouble and the Son Libre Recording studio are in Kansas City. Now, go get 'em, Gumshoes!

Where'd the Alamo Go? [2.18]

edit

[Robocrook steals the Alamo]

Chief: Gumshoes, Carmen Sandiego's mob of mendacious mutants has struck again. This time, they dipped their duplicitous ditches in San Antonio, Texas. In 1836, the Alamo was a site of an epic battle during Texas' war for independence from Mexico. For 12 long days, about 190 Texans held off an attack by thousands of Mexican soldiers. But on the 13th day, the Alamo was stormed and the Texan defenders were killed. When we say "Remember the Alamo," it's their brave fight we recall. But now, this Texas landmark is just a memory because the Alamo has disappeared. Robocrook, that pile of pilfering processes, stormed San Antonio, lassoed the Alamo, then hauled it away. Your mission, gumshoes: short circuit Robocrook, return the Alamo to Texas, and then capture Carmen Sandiego.

Carmen: Robo, the gumshoes are after you. Head for a country just south of Chad.
Robo: Orders acknowledged. Will I encounter communication problems, due to numerous tribal languages?
Carmen: Not here. There're more than 80 different ethnic groups living together, but many speak a common language called Sango.
Robo: Ah, good. I've learned Sango in high school. Could you suggest a location for food?
Carmen: Of course. Try the restaurant in the city of Bangui. You'll find everything from cooked monkeys to warthogs.
Robo: Just a nice simple dish of axle grease would suffice.

Rockapella: (each time the Alamo is revealed)
Tex mex!
With Ice Cream!
Try to remember the--

Case of the Little Boy Lost [2.19]

edit

[Grunge steals the Mannekin Pis statue from Belgium]

Chief: Gumshoes, Carmen Sandiego's gang of globe-trotting goons has glommed again. This time, the scene of the crime was Brussels, Belgium, the beautiful city of Renaissance, architecture, great food, and bilingual citizens. But nothing catches a fancy of Brussels visitors like this fountain. With this bronzed statue of a little boy answering the call on May 5. Seriously, the fountain was built in 1619 by a sculptor named Jérôme Duquesnoy. This statue, or manneken as they say in Dutch, is real proof that different cultures find different things offensive, while some societies, perhaps even people in our own, would find this little guy horribly crass and tried to have him destroyed. But in Belgium, he's just an object of whimsical humor. They sell little squirting souvenirs on these streets, and whenever there's a holiday or festival, city workers dress him up in a new custom tailored outfit. Well, today he was abducted. Top Grunge, that grimy greaseball with a permanent cold, bagged him in broad daylight. Gumshoes, here's your mission: get Grunge, reinstate the statue, and then capture Carmen Sandiego.

Grunge: Hey, Carmen, this statue's leavin' a trail!
Carmen: Head for Yellowstone National Park in Wyoming and hide the statue behind the famous geyser.
Grunge: What's a geyser?
Carmen: A hole in the earth that spits out water and steam. It's generated by red-hot magma beneath the earth's surface.
Grunge: I don't know, Carmen. Didn't they have a huge forest fire a few years back?
Carmen: Don't worry. If it happens again, the mountains can help put it out. And you'll love the geyser, Grunge. It smells like sulfur.
Grunge: What does sulfur smell like?
Carmen: Rotten eggs. Just like you.
Grunge: Carmen, that's the nicest thing you ever said to me. (sneezes)

Chief: This is Lynne Thigpen speaking for Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego? and remember: It's not a brag, it's not a bolt, we turn criminals into pulp.

Superscam [2.20]

edit

[Wonder Rat steals Metropolis]

Chief: Gumshoes, Carmen Sandiego and her slew of sleazy slugs have struck again. This time, they did the illicit action in Illinois. Metropolis, Illinois built itself as a hometown of Clark Kent A.K.A. Superman. Back in the 1940s, when the DC Comics superhero first became famous, the folks in Metropolis noticed that their city has the same name as Superman's fictional city. Years later, they turned coincidence into opportunity by jumping into the roadside attraction business. Now, Metropolis boasts the only official Superman phone booth, Superman billboard, water tower, and annual celebrations. It's even got a newspaper called, you guessed it, the Metropolis Planet. But it was dire headlines today when Wonder Rat, in a bit of medium-mongering jealousy, stole the entire city. He says he won't release it until every last image of Clark Kent is replaced with his own heroic visions. They'll be illing in Illinois until Metropolis is returned. Gumshoes, this cannot be tolerated. Your mission is to round up the rat, get the city of Metropolis back to the city of Metropolis, and then catch that burg-burgling bigwig Carmen Sandiego.

Wonder Rat: Nyah, I'm thinkin' of changin' the name of this town I stole. How does Ratopolis sound?
Carmen: How does jail sound? ACME's about to nab you. Head for Monrovia, the capital of a West African nation that's home to one of the world's largest fleets of privately owned ships.
Wonder Rat: Yeah, yeah, right. Ship owners all over the world register there, 'cause they charge low taxes and lenient regulations. Say, I could use a nice rat-cruise.
Carmen: Forget it. You've got to hide. Head into the rainforest and disguise yourself as a Pygmy Hippo. This is one of the few parts of Africa where they live.
Wonder Rat: Gee, I don't know Carmen. Wonder-Dwarf-Pygmy-Hippo-Rat? It just doesn't roll off the tongue.
Greg: Hmmm, no it doesn't.

Rockapella: (each time Metropolis is revealed in the 2nd round)
Superman Land!
Kryptonite!
Faster than a speeding bullet!
More powerful than a locomotive!
Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound!
Dated Lois! In the movie!
LOOK! Up in the sky!

Chumps D'Elysees (Arch Criminal) [2.21]

edit

[Eartha Brute steals the Arc de Triomphe]

Chief: Carmen Sandiego and her school of scurrilous scallywags have struck again. This time, they took a pop shot at Paris, France. The meeting by the emperor Napoleon, the splendor of Arc de Triomphe was built to honor the French army. Napoleon's fortunes didn't last long, but the Arc has lived on. Until last night, that is when Eartha Brute, that brawny burglar, barged up the trophied masse and snarked up the Arc. There will be darkness in the City of Light until their beloved monument is returned. Gumshoes, your mission is to bag the brute, return the Arc to Paris, and then put an end to Carmen Sandiego's career in crime.

Chief: (After Eartha's profile) She's a cross trainer, a weight gainer, and a no brainer.

Eartha: Carmen, how long do I have to carry this Arc around?
Carmen: Quit whining. ACME's on your tail, Brute. I want you to hide the Arc behind the Barrier Reef off the caribbean coast of Central America. Then, head inland where the Howler Monkeys live.
Eartha: How do I find them?
Carmen: They sound like this. (makes monkey sounds) You can hear their cry almost a mile away.
Eartha: Hey, sounds like my brother.

Greg: For our next clue we turn to James Avery, an informant from ACME Shredder-Net. Watch.
James: Pssst. Gumshoes, Eartha's in a Chinese city, on the eastern bank of the Yangtze River. It's a site that's been inhabited for thousands of years. Twice this century, the city was capital of China, but not anymore. Now it's a bustling commercial center that's capital of Jiangsu Province. That's all I know. Good luck. Get outta here!
Greg: Thanks, James. Robert, do you recognize him? Cartoons? Shredder. Shredder everybody.

Rockapella: Prankster of Paris!

Baaaaad News in New Zealand [2.22]

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[Vic the Slick steals all of New Zealand's sheep]

Chief: Gumshoes, Carmen Sandiego and her army of anti-social aardvarks has struck again. This time, they vandalized the green valleys and verdant meadows of New Zealand. First severed by Polynesian people, now called Māori about 1,000 years ago, the islands of New Zealand were colonized by the British in 1840. And they brought some very important friends: sheep. Why are sheep important in New Zealand? I'll tell you. Okay, it's the 19th century. England's farmland is shrinking. Why, what population was growing? "Hmm," England says, "how do we feed these folks? Hey! We got New Zealand, a huge colony crawling with sheep, but it's 13,000 miles away. Well, I guess we'll just have to develop refrigeration. Yes!" So they froze the sheep, tipped them halfway around the world, and everyone was happy. England had food, New Zealand had a major industry. Now if you can just freeze Carmen and send it to Mars... well, anyway. Yesterday, Vic the Slick, disguised as Little Bo Peep, rounded up 65,000,000 of the cloven hoofed critters and herded them away. Every last sheep from Wellington to Waikawa is gone, gone, gone. Now gumshoes, here's your mission: vanquish Vic, shag the sheep home, and then corral that criminal Carmen Sandiego.

(the Sheep are heard bleating in the background)
Vic: All this bleepin' bleatin' is givin' me a headache, Carmen.
Carmen: Take two aspirin and scram before ACME makes mutton out of you.

Rockapella: (sings when the Sheep are revealed in the second round) Little lost lambies!

Boosting the Belt (Radiation Ripoff) [2.23]

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[Patty Larceny steals the Van Allen Belt.]

Chief: Gumshoes, Carmen Sandiego and her posse of pugnacious poachers have pounced again. This time, they went out of this world. 600-15,000 miles above the equator, the Van Allen radiation belts surround the Earth. The donut-shaped vans are named for physicist James A. Van Allen, leader of a team that discovered them in 1958. They form a part of the Earth's magnetic field, and they trap charged particles thrown off by the Sun. Now sometimes, particles leak out and make their way into the upper atmosphere. There, they collide with gases creating a light show known as the Aurora. Or they did until Patty Larceny circumnavigated the globe and stole the belts. She foolishly thinks she can decorate her bedroom with the pretty colors of the Aurora. Your mission, gumshoes, is to pinch that pilfering Patty, put the belts back in place, and pack Carmen Sandiego off to prison.

The Ta-Ta Kenyatta Cantata [2.24]

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[Wonder Rat steals the Kenyatta Conference Center]

Chief: Gumshoes, Carmen Sandiego's swarm of sorted sociopaths has struck again. This time, they convened a criminal conclave in Nairobi, Kenya. Nairobi has become one of Africa's leading international cities, and the gleaming Kenyatta Conference Center helped pave the way. Named for former president Jomo Kenyatta and opened in the early '70s, this 28-story building was home to the U.N.'s first African headquarters. These days, its fine facilities hosts a wide-range of conventions and conferences from around the world. And from the top-floor viewing deck, you can see the entire city of Nairobi stretched out before you. But today, meetings were abruptly adjourned when the Kenyatta Conference Center disappeared. Wonder Rat, Carmen's scruffy scheming scallywag, snatched the center then made a hasting retreat. He plans to use it as a centerpiece of his very own resort, Ratlantic City. Your mission, gumshoes: whisk that whiskered Wonder to jail, return the Kenyatta Conference Center to Nairobi, and then capture Carmen Sandiego.

Greg: (to everyone in ACME Control Net, who are asleep, via noxious gas) C'mon, it's a big joke, right? HEY! Big jo--! (he then comes up with an idea) LUNCH!
(everyone wakes up and Greg laughs)
Greg: Hey, you guys! You guys! Hey! You guys! You guys! HEY!
(everyone stares at him)
Greg: I was jokin'!
(everyone angrily throws things at him as he exits)

Carmen: Head for a national park with one of the world's biggest volcanoes. Native Americans called it Tahoma.
Wonder Rat: Aw, a huge volcano? Gee, Carmen, I hope you're not trying to get rid of me!
Carmen: Relax. There hasn't been a major eruption for about 2,000 years. These days it's home to the largest single-peak glacial system in the U.S. outside of Alaska.
Wonder Rat: Tahoma, huh? I never heard of it.
Carmen: That's because it was renamed by a British explorer. He called it Mount Rainier.
Wonder Rat: Hey. If he can rename it, then I can rename it. How about Mount Ratnier? (giggles)
Greg: Hmmm...I don't think so!

Greg: (after Rockapella's parody of the Supremes' "Why Do Fools Fall in Love") Rockapella, ladies and gentlemen! Along with Lisa Price! Give 'em a round of applause!

Greg: (after Rockapella chases Lisa before the Chase) Lisa Price, with Rockapella.

Greg: Darwin Research Station. (Shoeprints are revealed)
Rockapella: Nothing!
Greg: No. Thank you. Rockapella, ladies and gentlemen.

WSK Gone [2.25]

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[Wonder Rat steals the WSKG television station]

Chief: Gumshoes, Carmen Sandiego and her team of twisted twerps have struck again. This time, they bullied their way to Binghamton, New York. Binghamton is the home of WSKG-TV, a member station of PBS. From its studios, WSKG serves 21 counties in New York and Pennsylvania. Other TV networks are owned by big corporations, but PBS is a joint venture of its 341 member stations. Local stations like WSKG produce both community, oriented, and national programs, and they raise a significant portion of their money through membership drive. SKG has been a PBS member since 1968. But now, Binghamton is PBS-less because Wonder Rat, that sniveling superhero wannabe, stole the station. He plans to turn it into RTV, Rat Television, 24 hours a day, written, directed, and starring himself. Gumshoes, there will be no more PBS in the 21 counties until the station is returned. You've got to round up that rat, free SKG, and then catch Carmen Sandiego.

Mike Ziegler: Hey! When that rat stole the station, he stole me with it! He holds the station south, just across the Rio Grande. We're getting T.V. shows from a network called Televisa. It's huge! They've got 4 national channels, lots of original programming, and even some American T.V. shows dubbed with Spanish voices. I hope you get this tape, Gumshoes. Remember, (forms the ACME Triangle of Excellence with his hands) Vigilance, Dedication, Courage. Now, get me outta here!

Wonder Rat: Yeah! So, Carmen, this is great! I'll have my network goin' in no time.
Carmen: ACME's on to you. Head for the home of Chennai Cheetah Studios.
Wonder Rat: Yeah, Yeah. Where Federico Fellini directed his movies. He could do my life story. We'll call it La Dolce Vita Rat On. That means this sweet ratlife.
Carmen: I know what it means. Just lay low and stay away from the reconte vershoto.
Wonder Rat: Yeah, Yeah. I gotta watch my weight in these tight space. Maybe I could market a diet drink. Maybe?
Carmen: God o mina. Move!
Greg: And, uh, maybe not.

Rockapella: (each time WSKG is revealed in the 2nd round)
Cool totebag!
Viewers like you-ooo!
Won't you be my neighbor?!
Pledge Drive!

The Brazen Bean Bambozlement [2.26]

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[Top Grunge steals the coffee beans from Colombia.]

Chief: Gumshoes, Carmen Sandiego's clique of clueless kleptomaniacs has struck again. This time, they burgled the beans from Colombia, South America. Now when it comes to a warming drink, the world loves a good cup of coffee. And Colombia is the second largest coffee grower on Earth after Brazil. The crop was first planted there as early as the 1700s, and it flourished in the rich soil and high altitude of Colombia's mountain regions. Since then, coffee has become vital to the country's economy. In most years, it makes up more than half of Colombia's agricultural exports. But now, the beans have been bamboozled. Top Grunge, Carmen's portly putrid prince of percolating pilferage, biked down to Colombia to get a hot cup of joe and some sinkers and hauled away the entire crop. Your mission, gumshoes: flatten Top Grunge's tires, bring back the beans to Bogota, and then capture Carmen Sandiego.

Wondering Where the Water Went [2.27]

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[Vic the Slick steals the Los Angeles Aqueduct.]

Chief: Gumshoes, Carmen Sandiego's ring of ruthless racketeers have struck again. This time, they struck in Southern California. The Colorado River Aqueduct is a man-made waterway. It runs from the Colorado River's Parker Dam on the Arizona border to Los Angeles, California, 235 miles away. It's a cheap source of water for 14 and a half million people in the Los Angeles area. If it weren't for aqueducts, the endless suburbs of L.A. would still be once were: a part desert. But now, these wanted waters roar no more. Vic the Slick, Carmen's showcase of bad taste, has corralled its currents. Armed with an atomic Shop-Vac, he sucked up the water and took it away. Your mission, gumshoes: cut Vic to the quick, return the river to its rightful bed, and then capture Carmen Sandiego.

Carmen: Vic, ACME's after you. Hide the river in a sea where you'll find the Greek Archipelago. It was home to Europe's first known great civilization.
Vic: Hey, Carmen, what makes 'em so great?
Carmen: The Minoan culture on Crete goes back about 5,000 years. At a time when most Europeans were still living in the Stone Age, the Minoans were master artists and builders who used a decimal number system and created a form of writing.
Vic: Eh, that's pretty good, but no culture is truly great without polyester.
Carmen: You're hopeless, Vic. Just get moving.

Barry: Ladies and gentlemen, Elliott has left the building.

Gorgeous George (Losing Face) [2.28]

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[Kneemoi steals George Washington's portrait from every $1 bill in the United States.]

Chief: Gumshoes, Carmen Sandiego and her clique of reeking geeks have grabbed again. This time, they struck very close to home. It happened right in your pocket. George Washington's face has been on the US dollar since 1869. The picture, probably the best-known portrait in the United States, was originally done by the artist Gilbert Stuart in 1796. Today, 18 huge printing presses at the Bureau of Engraving and Printing turn out about 10 million dollar bills a day. There are over 5 billion $1 bills in circulation. But now, they've all been defaced. Kneemoi, Carmen's alien outlaw, took one look at the buck and fell in love with Washington's warm, friendly smile. So she swiped his image from every single dollar bill in existence. the repercussions of this crime are almost too horrible to imagine. Financial markets will fall. Economies will collapse. Coat check attendants won't get tips. Gumshoes, your mission is to exile the extra-terrestrial, find George's face, and then collar that crime boss Carmen Sandiego.

Big Bad Lug Bags Big Egg [2.29]

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[Eartha Brute steals the Tokyo Dome from Japan.]

Chief: Gumshoes, Carmen Sandiego and her ragtag rabble rousers have ransacked again. This time, they attacked Tokyo, Japan. Tokyo Dome stadium is located near Tokyo's Korakuen Amusement Park. Japan's first covered stadium, it was completed in 1988. Known as The Big Egg, the stadium hosts baseball games between teams like the Yomiuri Giants and the Nippon-Ham Fighters. It also presents other big events like rock concerts and boxing matches. Or it did until yesterday when Eartha Brute took Tokyo by surprise and swiped the stadium. They'll be weeping in their wasabi all over Tokyo until their beloved egg is returned. Gumshoes, your mission is to bag the brute, return the stadium, and get Carmen Sandiego.

Crook Nicks Kid Pix [2.30]

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[Top Grunge steals the International Museum of Children's Art from Oslo, Norway.]

Chief: Gumshoes, Carmen Sandiego's swarm of swindling swine has struck again. This time, they poked their pilfering paws into Oslo, Norway. The Oslo International Museum of Children's Art is the most expensive children's art museum in the world. Opened in 1986 by Russian émigrés Rafael and Alla Goldin, it's devoted to artwork created by young people aged 2 to 18 from around the globe. The growing collection exceeds 100,000 pieces and includes everything from paintings to a scrap wire bike sculpture created by a boy from Rwanda. But now, this capital of kids creation has been copped. Top Grunge, Carmen's ogre of odious odors, reeled into Oslo, hooked the museum with his bike, and hauled it away. Your mission, gumshoes: put Top Grunge's stink in the clink, return the International Museum of Children's Art to Oslo, and then capture Carmen Sandiego.

Big Bank Bingo [2.31]

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[Robocrook steals the Dai-ichi Kangyo Bank.]

Chief: Gumshoes, Carmen Sandiego's detachment of deplorable dunderheads has struck again. This time, they had a yen for big bucks in Tokyo, Japan. In a nation that's home to seven of the world's ten largest banks, Dai-ichi Kangyo Bank is the biggest of all. In fact, if you combined all the assets of Citicorp, Chase Manhattan Bank, BankAmerica, General Motors, and my aunt Matilda, Dai-ichi, Kangyo would still have more. They total almost a half trillion dollars. To get that much money, you'd have to save, oh... nearly a dollar a minute for the next million years. But Carmen Sandiego couldn't wait that long. Besides, she's not much of a saver. So Robocrook went to Tokyo and withdrew the money along with the entire Dai-ichi Kangyo Bank headquarters. You mission, gumshoes: reel in Robocrook, deliver the Dai-ichi Kangyo Bank back to Japan, and then capture Carmen Sandiego.

(what appears to be a black-and-white image of the Chief displays on the monitor)
Chief: Greg, come into my office.
Greg: Yes, ma'am. I'll be right there. Uh, you guys stay here. I'm gonna have to check that monitor. Be right back. (enters the office, where it is revealed that the room itself has turned black and white) What's up, Chief?
Chief: Ah. Greg, does anything in this office seem strange to you?
Greg: (looks around the office) Uh, nope.
Chief: Use your deductive skills.
Greg: (sniffs) Oh, you got rid of that dead mouse. That dead mouse behind the wall.
Chief: No, Greg! This office has lost its color.
Greg: Well, Chief, did you pay the color bill?
Chief: What? Greg, there's no such thing as a bill for color.
Greg: (laughs) Yes, there is, Chief.
Chief: What?
Greg: It came in the mail last month.
Chief: But I never saw it.
Greg: Well, uh, (pulls the bill out of his jacket) it's because it's here. That's a color bill right there. (hands her the bill) See?
Chief: Well, it says here I have to send a check for 9 cents to the department of color and tending?
Greg: 9 cents? Chief, that's more than I make in a week.
Chief: Well, listen, Greg. If the gumshoes find out we can't pay our bills, we're going to get discouraged. Now, what do you think we should do to keep their morale up, so they'll stay on the trail of Carmen?
Greg: Well, Chief, I'll tell you this. We could make a deal. The gumshoe that captures Carmen Sandiego will get a trip to anywhere in North America!
(applause)
Chief: (gasps) An excellent idea!
Greg: Thanks, Chief. Oh, and wait. I think I still may have some, uh, color from the last animated clue. Take a look at this. (pulls the color out of his jacket and throws it, turning the office back to color)
Chief: (gasps) Oh!
Greg: Huh?
Chief: Much better. Thank you.
Greg: Well, you're welcome. Now, Chief, I wanna remind ya: Be sure and pay the anti-helium bill.
Chief: What?!
Greg: It's due today.
Chief: What anti-helium bill?
Greg: Chief, the anti-helium bill that was due today! Oh, never mind, you probably already paid it anyway.
Chief: (in a high-pitched voice) Greg, there's no such thing as an anti-helium bill.
Greg: (pulls the bill out of his jacket and hands it to her) You see it? Right here.
Chief: Greg, go away.
Greg: Yes, ma'am. (exits the office) You know, that reminds me, I've got to remember to pay that anti-16 ton weight bill. It's due tomorrow. (As Greg get back to his position, a 16 ton weight falls on the ground, then Greg hears and realizes) It's due today. Sorry.

Carmen: Robo, get on the Trans-Canada Highway and head for the Yellow Brick Road.
Robo: This is no time for The Wizard of Oz. I need directions.
Carmen: These are directions. The Yellow Brick Road leads to a huge Gold Mine discovered in the 1980's. In fact, this province is the second biggest gold producing region in the western hemisphere, and it produces more industrial goods than the rest of Canada combined.
Robo: A logical destination for the bank?
Carmen: Exactly. Now, move it, Tin Man.
Robo: Destination acknowledged. (singing) Follow the Yellow Brick Road, Follow the Yellow Brick Road

The Lip Stick Up [2.32]

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[Patty Larceny steals Claes Oldenburg's Lipstick sculpture from New Haven, Connecticut.]

Chief: Gumshoes, Carmen Sandiego's flock of flamboyant flakes has flimflammed again. This time, the crime happened in New Haven, Connecticut. In 1969, New Haven's prestigious Yale University received an unusual gift: a 24-foot high, two-ton sculpture called Lipstick (Ascending) on Caterpillar Tracks. The giant lipstick was the work of famed pop artist Claes Oldenburg. Some people on campus didn't care for the sculpture and it was removed in less than a year, but then supporters rose to its defense and in 1974, it was placed in Yale's Morse Courtyard where it has remained ever since. Until today, that is when Patty Larceny, posing as an Avon lady, made tracks with a fully tracked lipstick. She plans on using the sculpture to promote her newest enterprise, The School of Criminal Cosmetology. Your mission, gumshoes: put the pinch on Patty, liberate the lipstick, and then bring Carmen Sandiego to justice.

Who Copped Khufu? [2.33]

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[Eartha Brute steals the Great Pyramid of Khufu from Giza, Egypt.]

Chief: Gumshoes, Carmen Sandiego's crew of criminal cronies has struck again. This time, they boosted a big old building in Giza, Egypt. In other words, a pyramid. Built as elaborate tombs for Egyptians pharaohs, the pyramid have stood for nearly 5,000 years. The largest one is called the great pyramid of King Khufu. Built around 2500 BC, it was originally about 480 feet high and weighed six-and-a-quarter million tons. The top portion has been gone for a while, lost to erosion or looted for construction in nearby Cairo. But today, Eartha Brute removed the rest of it. Carmen's burly bruiserette snatched up the great pyramid of Khufu and barreled off down the Nile. Now you might hear some people call this the Great Pyramid of Cheops, but don't let that throw you off the trail. Cheops is just the Greek name for the king that the Egyptians called Khufu. Your mission, gumshoes: bust Eartha Brute, put the pyramid back in place, and then bag that beastly bimbo Carmen Sandiego.

Who Bagged the Bull? [2.34]

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[Kneemoi steals a Mesopotamian Bull's Head statue from Baghdad, Iraq]

Chief: Gumshoes, Carmen Sandiego and her load of lily-livered louts have lashed out again. This time, they bagged a bull in Baghdad. The region between the Tigris and Euphrates rivers is often called The Cradle of Western Civilization. Located mostly in Iraq, it was home to some of the earliest known human settlements, the ancient kingdom of Mesopotamia. It began around 5000 BC and at its peak, the Mesopotamian city of Ur was a rich metropolis. But empires have a way to crumbling to sand and all that's left of Mesopotamia are a few of its treasures. One of them is on display at the Iraq museum in Baghdad, a beautiful golden bull's head dating back to 2450 BC. It was unearthed this century from a royal Mesopotamian tomb. But yesterday, that elasticized alien Kneemoi stretched her way into the museum, bagged the bull's head, and bounded out of the country. She claimed the bull is the spitting image of her mother. Gumshoes, your mission is to nail Kneemoi, get the bull's golden head back to Baghdad, and cap Carmen Sandiego's career in crime.

My Cup Runneth Away [2.35]

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[Double Trouble steal the World Cup Trophy from Zurich, Switzerland.]

Chief: Gumshoes, Carmen Sandiego's squad of squalid scuzzballs has struck again. This time, they finagled their furtive fingers into Zurich, Switzerland. Soccer is the world's most popular sport, and the dream of all national soccer teams is to win a World Cup. A global tournament is held every four years to determine a champion. The last World Cup matches were held in Italy in 1990, and the championship game was viewed by over 1.3 billion fans. In 1994, the games will be hosted by one of the only countries in the world where soccer isn't all that popular, the USA. The World Cup Trophy itself contains about 10 pounds of 18-karat gold, and it's kept in Zurich, Switzerland. The team that wins the tournament doesn't get the real trophy, they get a less-expensive copy. Hmm. What if we gave all our winners not a real trip anywhere in North America but just a video of one? Well, it just wouldn't be the Acme way. Well, today, the real trophy was swiped. Double Trouble, Carmen's matching makers of mayhem, zipped into Zurich, crept up on the cup, and then snatched it away. They renamed it the Trouble Trophy and plan to hold and international crime tourney. Your mission, gumshoes: bust Double Trouble on the double, return the World Cup Trophy to Zurich, and then capture Carmen Sandiego.

Tsealing the Tsar Bell [2.36]

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[Eartha Brute steals the Tsar Bell from Moscow, Russia.]

Chief: Gumshoes, Carmen Sandiego and her confederacy of con artists have struck again. This time, they KO'd Moscow's ancient walled fortress, The Kremlin. The belfry and bell tower of Ivan the Great are the tallest structures in The Kremlin. What's inside the belfry? Bells. 21 richly, ornamented bells hanging the tower and one more sits on a stone pedestal at the bottom. That's the big guy, the Tsar Bell. Cast in the 1730s, it weighed more than 200 tons, and is decorated with images of Russian royalty, a Tsar and Tsarina. It's the largest chimer in the world, and you'd think it would stay put, but no. When irresistible force meets immovable objects, something's gotta give. What gave? The bell at the base. Eartha Brute broke in and stole the Tsar Bell. Gumshoes, your mission is to bring in Eartha, ring in the bell, and ding out Carmen Sandiego once and for all.

Beach Blanket Bye-Bye [2.37]

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[Patty Larceny steals Ipanema Beach.]

Chief: Gumshoes, Carmen Sandiego's nest of nefarious ne'er-do-wells has struck again. This time, they scammed the sands from a beach in Brazil. For the residents of Rio de Janeiro, the beach is the place to see and be seen. (Rockapella sings "The Girl From Ipanema) And that song you're hearing, The Girl From Ipanema, made the beach in Rio's Ipanema neighborhood the most famous of all. Nestled between the Atlantic and a beautiful lagoon, you'll find white sands, wild waves, and beautiful people all surrounded by some of the highest priced real estate in South America. But now the girls of Ipanema have stopped walking because the beach is no more. Patty Larceny, Carmen Sandiego's sweetfaced scoundrel, surfed in, scarfed up the sands, and sambaed away. Your mission, gumshoes: put Patty in the pin, return the beach to Ipanema, and then capture Carmen Sandiego.

Carmen: Patty, they're after you. Head for one of the states where Yellowstone National Park is found. Hide out in the Silent City of Rocks.
Patty: Gee, Carmen, it sounds kind of spooky.
Carmen: Don't worry. It's just a granite formation. Pioneers in the 1800s thought the rocks look like a city. You can still see their names written on the granite, and legend says a bandit hid $90,000 in stolen gold nearby.
Patty: Wow! A bandit! I feel right at home. Has anyone ever found the gold?
Carmen: Not yet. Bring a metal detector.

The Perilous Penguin Pilferage [2.39]

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[Robocrook steals a pack of penguins from Antarctica.]

Robocrook: Without Carmen to guide me, I am like a screw without a driver. You'll find her in the U.S.A.

Topkapi Turban Topper [2.42]

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[Vic the Slick steals Suleiman the Magnificent's Topkapi Turban from Istanbul, Turkey]

Carmen: Vic, they're on to you. Head north of the Arctic Circle to Auyuittuq National Park. It's in a Canadian district.
Vic: G-G-Geez, Carmen, sounds a little c-c-cold.
Carmen: A little cold? Auyuittuq is an Inuit word that means "the land that never melts". The ground freezes at 1,000 feet down. I hear there are no trees at all.
Vic: Sounds like I'll have the joint to myself.
Carmen: Nope. It's home to the Inuit and Dene people. It was named for an Englishman who got lost there, looking for a passage from the Atlantic to the Pacific.
Vic: Lost, huh? Eh, couldn't I just go to Baltimore?
Carmen: Sorry, bub. Get out your polyester earmuffs.

The Nefarious Nobel Napper [2.45]

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[Vic the Slick steals the Nobel Peace Prizes from Stockholm, Sweden]

Vic: Carmen, babe, these prize medals look great on me. Real class.
Carmen: Vic, you wouldn't know real class if it hit you in the face with a gym sock. Now, listen. Go to a money museum in a federal reserve bank.
Vic: Hey, sounds great.
Carmen: It has all kinds of cash on display. Like some of the first coins ever minted, and a block of tea that was once used as currency. It's in a former capital of the Confederate States of America, and hide those medals, or ACME will be on you like that cheap suit.
Vic: Hey, I pay top dollar for this suit.

(Vic tells Josh to go to Europe; Josh is surprised to hear it)
Josh: No way!
Greg: You're kidding! What'd-- What did he say?!
Josh: We're goin' to Europe!
Greg: Chief! We're goin' to Europe!

In the Rat Bird Seat [2.49]

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[Wonder Rat steals the Stone Bird from Zimbabwe]

Carmen: ACME's closing in on you. Bag the bird, then head for the capital of a southern state. It's where the civil rights movement got underway back in 1955. That's when Rosa Parks, an African American refused to give up her seat on a bus to a white man.
Wonder Rat: Yeah. Yeah, I know the place. Uh, listen. Can I head for that lunch joint with a huge buffet of local homemade food?
Carmen: You mean the Farmers Market Cafeteria.
Wonder Rat: Yeah. I'm thinkin' the customers might wanna see my rat-o-mania road show.
Carmen: The customers might want to see you in jail, rat-face. Keep your tail out of sight.

Mountainous Mayhem [2.50]

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[Kneemoi steals Mt. Everest]

Chief: (after Kneemoi's profile) She's an extra sneaky, extra crafty, extra extraterrestrial.

Greg: Okay, Gumshoes. For our next clue, we turn to ACME Celeb Net agent LeVar Burton. LeVar, what's the latest?
LeVar: Greg, I've tracked some tricky aliens around the galaxy, but no one as slippery as Kneemoi. She has stashed Mt. Everest in a trench. Not a land trench. This one's on the ocean. Located in the North Pacific, it forms one of the deepest parts of any ocean on earth. It's about 7 miles down, so if Kneemoi put Everest on the bottom, its peak would be about a mile and a half below the water's surface. Wow, that's what I call being in over your head. Go get 'em.
Greg: 'Kay, thanks a lot, LeVar.

Carmen: Head for a town on the California coast. It was a setting for John Steinbeck's great novel Cannery Row.
Kneemoi: Canary Row? He wrote about little birds in cages?
Carmen: Not canaries. Canneries! Factories where they put fish into cans. Steinbeck wrote about the poor homeless men who worked in them, but the place has changed a lot. The canneries are gone and some of the most expensive real estate on earth is nearby.
Kneemoi: Oh. Just one more question.
Carmen: What?
Kneemoi: How did the fish breathe inside those little cans?
(Carmen sighs)

Tomfoolery in Thailand [2.55]

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[Patty Larceny steals the Thailand Sister Statue.]

Patty: I just adore these sisters. They're pretty, but they're dangerous. Just like me!
Carmen: But always remember, dear, they are good guys, and you're a bad guy. Now, listen. Sail off the Río de la Plata to the capital of Uruguay. Hide the Heroines behind the Gaucho statue. It's a bronze monument to these hard riding horsemen.
Patty: I know what Gauchos are. They're cowboys.
Carmen: That's right, Patty, dear. Now, quit showing off and shove off.

Rockapella: Sassy Sisters!

She Took the Notes Right Out of My Mouth [2.56]

edit

[Kneemoi steals the boys Choir's voices from Vienna, Austria.]

Chief: (on the monitor with static) Greg, my office now.
Greg: Yes, ma'am. There's some snow on here. Gonna have to get that monitor looked at. Be right back. (enters the Chief's office where it is snowing and the Chief is wearing a hat, mittens, and a scarf) Chief, what's goin' on in here? It's snowing!
Chief: I know it's snowing in here. (Greg laughs) A freak storm has settled in on my office.
Greg: Chief, this is amazing. This is great.
Chief: Yes. Greg, I want you to do something for me.
Greg: Yes. Yes. Oh--
Chief: You know what it is?
Greg: Yes, of course. I'll go get my mittens. I'll come back here. We'll make a little snowman. I got a carrot in my office.
Chief: No, no. Greg.
Greg: Wait a minute! Better, Chief. I'll get a toboggan. We'll use this desk. I'll get a little snow ramp thing.
Chief: Greg!
Greg: Better. Better. Better idea, Chief. We'll go out into the interstate. We'll make one of those snow barricade with just a little hole, and the cars will come through, and we'll charge 'em tolls. I have not--
Chief: Greg! Greg! There will be no snowmen! There will be no tobogganing! There will be no snow tolls! Now, I want you to go out and tell the Gumshoes that the one that captures Carmen Sandiego today will win a free trip anywhere in North America! (applause) You got that?
Greg: Yeah, Chief, we could do that. We always do that. But it's a shame to let all this nifty snow go to waste! Chief, you wanna make snow angels, Chief!?
Chief: No! Greg, go away.
Greg: (furiously) All right, Chief! (exits the office)
Chief: And don't slam the...! (Greg slams the door and more snow falls onto the Chief and her desk) ...door.
Greg: I wonder why it's snowing in there and yet in here, it's sunny. That's so-- (a sun appears) Oh, it's Mr. Sunshine. (laughs)

Kneemoi: Carmen, I-- (church music is heard playing in the background) Hey! Hey, pipe down! Carmen, I can't get these voices to pipe down!
Carmen: Here, let me talk to them. Pipe down! (silence) There. Now, I want you to go undercover down under, to the capital of Australia.
Kneemoi: Australia? Who's that?
Carmen: Not who. Where. The capital is a completely planned city on the Molonglo River.
Kneemoi: On the river? How do they keep it from sinking?
Carmen: No! No! No! That's just a geographical expression. It means built beside river.
Kneemoi: (to herself) I'll never understand humans. Never!

Greg: Shebra, we're gonna start with you. You have 50 crime bucks. How much did you risk? (Shebra puts the 50 card in front of her) You risked 50. Everything. What'd ya say?
Shebra: Rio De Janeiro.
Greg: Is not the answer we're lookin' for. Sorry. You go down to 0.

Rockapella: (each time the Voices are revealed in the 2nd round)
Help us!
Where's my Mommy?!
Copped Choir!
De nois boys!
Swiped singers!
Go, Rachel!
Go, Jeanne!

The Great Train Slobbery [2.57]

edit

[Grunge steals the Trans-Siberian Railroad]

(the Chief comes out of hiding from behind 2 jumbo-sized Rubik's Cubes)
Chief: Oh. Uh, yes. Yes. Uh, hi, there. These puzzles were named after architect Ernő Rubik. He originally used them as a teaching aid for his students in 3-dimensional design. (picks up an average-sized Rubik's Cube) Now, Top Grunge mailed this one to me from Rubik's hometown, Budapest. And I... I just can't seem to... (fumbles in trying to solve it) Get... Oh! Dagnabbit!
Greg: Chief, don't get upset. Lemme try to show you.
Chief: (snickers) Okay. But you will never solve it.
(she hands Greg the Rubik's Cube, and he tries solving it while the Chief finishes)
Chief: Anyway, the rail system in Rubik's country is called Gyorjvinaht. Now, Grunge was last seen barreling down the Gyorjvinaht tracks with his stolen Trans-Siberian train.
Greg: (shows the Chief his finished puzzle) There ya go, Chief. I got it. See? Take a look.
Chief: (surprised) How did you do...
Greg: Well, you have to relax your mind. Free yourself of any outside problems.
Chief: Greg! Give that to me.
(Greg hands the Chief the cube)
Chief: Quit playing with toys! Get back to work. There's a smelly crook on the loose!
Greg: Yes, ma'am. Thanks very much.

(knocking is heard at the door)
Greg: Not really expecting anybody. Let me find out who's here. (opens the door to reveal Scott, the Dying Informant, who screams in agony) OH! Dying Informant! Gimme some time, will ya? I'm a little behind. Just hold on one second. Hey, Josh, can you throw me a pillow real quick? Please? (catches a pillow thrown at him) Thanks. (sets it on the floor) Okay! (Scott screams as he passes out at the door and Greg runs over to him) Okay, what happened, buddy? What's the matter? Tell me what happened.
Scott: I was chasing Grunge! I got caught in the crossfires of the internal fighting in Kinshasaaaaaaa!!! (passes out)
Greg: Oh, no! So you were shot?!
Scott: No, I was fine. But then there was a herd of charging hippos along the banks of the Zaire River! (gags and passes out)
Greg: You mean you were trampled, then?
Scott: No, I got away. But then Grunge tossed me into the Nyiragongo volcano. It's still active. Ooh! Hot! Hot-hot-hot! Hot... hot... (passes out)
Greg: Oh, so you were burned!
Scott: No, I wore my asbestos skivvies.
Greg: Nice thinking. So, what's the matter then?
Scott: When I knocked on your door... I got... (raises his right index finger) a splinter! (passes out)
Greg: You know, the next time Norm Abram comes by, I'm gonna have him take a look at that. Thanks a lot, guy. Listen. We got a case to go. (pushes him back into the alley) Good luck. Thanks a lot. (closes the door)

Greg: Hello?
Norm Abram: Greg, it's Norm Abram. Without an S.
Greg: Uh, Norm, I'm sorry. We thought it had the S. We'll take it off.
Norm: Listen. You have to catch Carmen Sandiego. She ran off with my plunge router guide. How am I supposed to build that scale model of the Taj Mahal out of cherrywood without my plunge router guide? You've gotta do something, Greg.
Greg: Well, now, Norm, far be it from me to give you advice, but I would use a brace and a bit.
Norm: Thanks, Greg. Bye.
(Greg hangs up)

The Case of the Filched Freedom Fighter [2.58]

edit

[Robocrook steals the Freedom Fighter Jet]

Greg: Chief, what's with the fruit here?
Chief: Greg, is this one of your practical jokes?
Greg: No, Chief! No way! You made me promise, no more practical jokes after that disaster with the hair dryer and the 9 ferrets.
Chief: Ooh! Then it must be Carmen Sandiego who's behind this! (laughs like a maniac) Well! If this is the way she wants it, I'm going to fight fire with fire!
Greg: Or melons with melons!

Carmen: Robo, those ACME agents are closing in. Head for an African capital located on a large river called the Zaire.
Robo: Affirmative. It's in a country that's also called Zaire. Was the river named after the country?
Carmen: No, it's the other way around. Zaire is the Portuguese version of a Kikongo word that means large river.
Robo: So, the country called Large River is on a large river that's called Large River? That is very logical. What is the meaning of Kikongo?
Carmen: It's one of the national languages spoken in Zaire, but the official language is French because it was once a Belgian colony.
Robo: Orders received. I'm on my way.

Rockapella: (each time the Freedom Fighter Jet is revealed in the 2nd round)
Filched Fighter!
$10 headsets!
Off we go into the wild blue yonder! ("The U.S. Air Force")
Leavin' on a Jet Plane! (John Denver song)
Be all that you can be! (Army jingle)

(Robo is revealed, to Greg's surprise)
Greg: WHOA!!! WHOA!!! Oh, my goodness!
Rockapella: (singing) Robocrook! YOU'VE WON!! (sings their fanfare)
(Ricky goes to the chain, when the confetti is ready to fall)
Greg: (races to Ricky, pushing him back to his podium) Wait! Wait! (laughs) Go back and... some of this! (Ricky finishes getting confetti) There you go. Now come over here. (he and Ricky walk up to the chain)

Chief: This is Lynne Thigpen speaking for Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego? and remember: We're on the case like fleas on Lassie, with better ratings than Degrassi.

I Lost Lucy [2.59]

edit

[Grunge steals the skeleton known as Lucy]

(Rockapella parodies the "I Love Lucy" theme song)
Barry: Tres! Cuatro!
Scott: Grunge loves Lucy, and there they went.
Dinosaur National Monument.
That's where the creep took the skelly-ton.
He's such a VILE, nasty smelly-ton.
He wants to take her to ski at Vale.
Toss that big, wheezing crook in jail.
Check Pueblo out for the Grunge path!
And please...
Oh, won't you please?
Oh, won't you give...
Sean: Oh, won't you please give ol' Lucy a great, big, beautiful sponge...
All: BATH!!!
Greg: Rockapella, ladies and gentlemen, if you will, please!

Greg: Hello?
Dennis Miller: Hello. Greg, Dennis Miller. Look, I've got a little message for you and your puttyboots, pal.
Greg: They're Gumshoes.
Dennis: I don't care if their horseshoes, cha-cha. Okay? Listen. There's a pan-global kleptomaniac in a slouch hat running around out there, and it's time you did something about it. I know trilobytes who are closer to... catching Carmen Sandiego than you. You're lurals are creasing, Greggo. It's time to stop resting on them, pal. (hangs up)
Greg: Nice guy. Dennis Miller, my good buddy. (hangs up the phone)

Stoneheist [2.60]

edit

[Robocrook steals Stonehenge]

Chief: (on phone) Greg, please come into my office.
Greg: Yes, ma'mm. I'll be right there. (her phone starts ringing) You guys stay here. I'm gonna-- I'm gonna check with her. I gotta catch the phone. (enters the office where he discovers that she is missing) Yeah, Chief? Chief! Well, the Chief isn't here, but I better answer this phone. (clears throat and picks it up) ACME Crime Net!
Chief: This is your Chief.
Greg: Oh, hi, Chief! Where are ya now?
Chief: I am unavailable, due to classified business. I have left these taped voicemail instructions. Please dial 1 to continue.
Greg: Voicemail! I love voicemail. All right. (he dials 1, then looks at the Chief's papers) What's this?
Chief: Please do not touch my papers! Listen up!
Greg: (puts down the Chief's papers) Yeah.
Chief: 1st question: How close are you to catching Carmen Sandiego?
Dial 1 for: We got her,
2 for: We're extremely close,
or 3 for: As usual, she's evaded us 3 times, and we look like dopes.
Greg: Oh, I guess that would be 3. (he dials 3)
Chief: Well, I'm not surprised. 2nd question: How should we encourage the Gumshoes to work harder?
Dial 1 for: Threaten to fire them,
2 for: Poke them with sticks,
or 3 for: Offer the one who catches her a free trip anywhere in North America.
(applause)
Greg: Hmm... Ah! That's a tough choice. I'm gonna go with 3. (he dials 3 again)
Chief: Thank you. Inform the Gumshoes. 3rd question: How should I terminate our discussion?
Dial 1 for: Tell you you're a great guy,
2 for: Offer you a raise and a big office,
or 3 for: Set you up with my gorgeous cousin, Gladys.
Greg: Ooh! Uh, I'm gonna go, uh, 3-amundo! (he dials 3 again)
Chief: I thought you'd choose that one. Greg, go away. (disappointed, Greg hangs up)
Greg: You know, I don't need her. I'll dial Information. I'll get Gladys' number myself. That's no problem. (he dials Information and picks up the receiver)
Nasally Voice: (on phone) Hello. Information.
Greg: Uh, yeah. Calling for Gladys.
Voice: Gladys Who?
Greg: The Chief's gorgeous cousin.
Voice: Who's calling?
Greg: This is Greg.
Voice: Greg?
Greg: Yeah?
Voice: Go away. (the phone clicks, and Greg hangs up and exits the office)

Cur Cribs Curves [2.61]

edit

[Vic the Slick steals Lombard Street]

NOTE: This episode contains two Gregs. Greg Lee, the host, and Greg Spatz, the Gumshoe. The lines will be revealed as "Greg" for Greg Lee, and "Greg S." for Greg Spatz.

Greg: (hears pounding coming from the alley) Wait a minute, something's goin' on in here. Let's, uh, go find out what it is. I'm not sure exactly. (enters the alley) Hey!
Scott: What?!
Greg: HEY!!
Scott: WHAT?!!
Greg: WHAT'S THE WORD ON THE STREET!?!?!
Scott: (stops pounding) Hey, man, you don't hafta yell. Greg, the Word on the Street is "industria". That means "industry" in Spanish. Now, industry's growin' really fast in Mexico, and Vic's in a city where about a quarter of all of Mexico's factories are located and they get their power through big natural gas pipeline that runs into the city from nearby Texas. (he and the rest of Rockapella resume pounding)
Greg: Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
Scott: What?!
Greg: Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
Scott: WHAT?!
Greg: I just, uh-- I just wanted to say thank you,... because courtesy still counts around here, Mister.

Greg: How do you feel, Greg?
Greg S.: I feel GOOD!
Greg: Yes, sir! Oh, yes!

Perfidious Party Poach [2.62]

edit

[Double Trouble steal Trinidad and Tobago's Carnival.]

Double Trouble: Dance all night and eat all day. Say no more, we're on our way!

Mrs. Pumpkinclanger: Zip that infernal chatter!
Greg: Mrs. Pumpkinclanger obviously has a bee in her bonnet. Gotta go talk to her again. Sorry, are we buggin' you again, Ms. P?
Mrs. Pumpkinclanger: Again?! Try "constantly"! Those terrible twins are in a festival for the birthday of the monkey god. On a small island of the tip of the Melee Peninsula. It's quite a scene. Chinese mystics who claim to be possessed by the monkey god filling good trans and pills there tongues and teeth would spill. It's all good clean fun and everyone enjoys themselves. Now, go apprehend that dreadful duo, and leave me in peace! Please!
Greg: Okay. Often wonder what Mr. Pumpkinclanger's life must be like. Haven't you?

Swiping the Supremes [2.63]

edit

[Patty Larceny steals the Supreme Court of the United States.]

Greg: It's now time for our second clue. So, listen very closely. This one comes in now-- We turn to a gal who is presently choreographing Madonna's next world tour. Nana Rap, whatcha got for us?
Nana Rap: Word to the gumshoes, Gregmeister. Let's rock the house! (rock music plays)
Alex Haley was the man, listen to what I say.
Trace an ancestor here named Corsican face.
Check out a map. A nation side a nation.
'Cause with Senegal, it forms a confederation.
They got beautiful beaches. Tourists soak up the rays.
And if you like wrestling, it's a national craze.
So, west African coast is where you'll pick up the trail.
Now, go bust Patty. Lock her up in jail!
You got the Nana! Nana-Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah-Nana-Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah-Nana. Ooh...
Greg: Nana Rap, ladies and gentlemen!

Carmen: Convene that court and move out fast. Head for a country where King Hammurabi once ruled.
Patty: Sure, Carmen. That was part of ancient Mesopotamia. It's where they created writing, and the wheel, and the 60-minute hour, and...
Carmen: And unfortunately for us, Patty, they created one of the first systems of law. Its main principle was the strong shall not injure the weak. Hah! Can you imagine?
Patty: Gee, Carmen, how did you ever learn so much about the law?
Carmen: I make it a point to know my enemy.

Scott (sings to the tune of The Supremes' "Stop! In the Name of Love" as the Supreme Court is revealed in the 2nd round): Stop! In the name of law!

The Waltz Whammy [2.64]

edit

[Kneemoi steals the Waltzing Matilda.]

Carmen: ACME's closing in on you. Hide in the mountains of Morocco, south and east of Marrakech. If you want to blend in with the Berber women who live there, paint yourself with henna.
Kneemoi: What's henna, Carmen?
Carmen: A red dye made from the leaves of the henna plant. The Berber women use it to draw intricate patterns on their hands and feet.
Kneemoi: Which ones are my hands and which are my feet?
Carmen: Why do I bother? On second thought, just turn invisible.

Greg: (sees the picture going blurry) Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, HEY! What's goin' on here?! Exc--!
Dana: Greg, Greg, don't worry. We're just making some adjustments. You just keep workin' out there.
Greg: Come on, man!! I can't put up with this. You guys, I'm sorry. I'm gonna go upstairs and check on this. (sets off for ACME Control Net) You know, I usually try to keep a pretty good attitude around here. I'm sorry! I try to keep a good attitude, but this time, they're tickin' off the ol' Gregger!

Greg: Okay, it looks like everybody's made a decision. We have a tie game goin' on here. Kamala has 80, Jimill has 80, Felicia has 80, okay. So, here is the question and our final clue. Listen carefully. We have our next clue now comin' to us from field agent Maury Povich of Acme Mr. Connie Chung-Net. Watch.
Maury: Here's the news, gumshoes. Kneemoi whisked the Waltz to the city of Wheeling. Then, she went whitewater rafting on the New River. But the New River isn't really new. It's actually the oldest river in North America. At least that's what some geologists say. How do they know? Don't ask me. I'm not a geologist. I'm a talk show host. Good luck.
Greg: Okay, thanks a lot, Maury.

Jamill: Pearl S. Buck Home.
Greg: Pearl S. Buck Home.
(the Loot is revealed)
Rockapella: Filched folk tune!
Greg: (laughs) Go ahead, Jamill.
Jamill: New Vrindaban.
Greg: Ah, yes. New Vrindaban.
(Kneemoi is revealed)
Rockapella: Kneemoi!
Greg: Nice job. Now, you've found the loot. You also found Kneemoi, but remember you have to go in the right order. Loot, warrant, crook. So, Jamill, use some strategy. Be careful here.
Jamill: Uh,... State Capitol.
Greg: State Capitol.
(the Warrant is revealed)
Rockapella: The Warrant!
Greg: Okay, tough break. You got those out of order. We're gonna turn 'em back around. Felicia, your turn. Go ahead.
Felicia: Pearl S. Buck Home.
Greg: Pearl S. Buck Home.
(the Waltzing Matilda is revealed again)
Rockapella: Greg's favorite song!
Greg: (laughs) Go ahead, Felicia.
Felicia: State Capitol.
Greg: What is it?
Felicia: State Capitol.
Greg: State Capitol.
(the Warrant is revealed)
Rockapella: The Warrant!
Greg: You need one more.
Felicia: And New Vrindaban.
Greg: New Vrindaban.
(Kneemoi is revealed)
Rockapella: Kneemoi! YOU'VE WON! (performs fanfare, but stops quickly when Felicia starts going to the chain when the confetti is ready to fall)
Greg: Oh, yeah! And she's gone! The confetti! The confetti! Quick! Get under the confetti! Quick! Quick! (Felicia does) Okay, now come over here. All right! (Felicia starts pulling on the chain immediately when she arrives at it) Oh, and she's pulling! And it's in jail already! Pull it again! (foghorn sounds) All right, very good. That's good. (Rockapella does Kneemoi's in jail tune)
Greg: Congratulations! We have a happy person here! We have a happy person! (both he and Felica are bouncing up and down)

Greg: (after Felicia gets nothing in the map) Oh, tough break! That is a tough map. Give her a nice round of applause, you guys. (groans)

Gotta Get a Yeti [2.65]

edit

[Wonder Rat steals the Yeti.]

NOTE: Tahare Campbell was eliminated from that episode, but only due to a geographical error, he returned in the Season 3 episode The Glacier Erasure

Carmen: Rat, that Yeti is drawing too much attention. Head for the Atlantic Coast of the United States. Hide out in Grover's Mill, a small town east of Princeton.
Wonder Rat: Aw, don't send me to the states, Carmen.
Carmen: You'll like it. The place is famous for a big media hoax. It happened on Halloween Eve in 1938. People were listening to their radios when they heard a report that space creatures were invading near Grover's Mill.
Wonder Rat: Gee, I didn't know Kneemoi hung out in the Garden State.
Carmen: It wasn't Kneemoi. It was a radio drama, but lots of people thought it was true and panicked.
Wonder Rat: Geez, if I could get that kind of attention, just think. Newspapers, magazines, CNN--
Carmen: FBI, criminal court, jail.
Wonder Rat: Yeah. Yeah. I'll stay outta sight.

Greg: Tahare, we're gonna start with you. You have 75 crime bucks. How much did you risk?
Tahare: (reveals his wager) I risked 50.
Greg: 50 crime bucks. What'd ya say?
Tahare: (reveals his answer) I said the Aegean Sea.
Greg: Sorry. It is not the Aegean Sea.

Rockapella: (sings to the tune of "Puff the Magic Dragon") Puff the Magic Yeti!

Chief: The is Lynne Thigpen speaking for "Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego" and remember, stealing never grants your wishes. You end up washing jailhouse dishes. (Due to a factual error in this game, Tahare Campbell has been invited to play a new game in our next season.)

Season 3

edit

Funding Spiels

edit
Opening
edit
Lynne: Today's caper is bankrolled by the Corporation for Public Broadcasting, and by Viewers Like You.
Closing
edit
Lynne: This program was presented by WQED Pittsburg and WGBH Boston. And as always, gumshoes, Carmen's gang is bankrolled by the Corporation for Public Broadcasting, and by Viewers Like You. Corporate bucks provided by Toyota.

Carmen's Final Location

edit
Grunge: (coughs) This jail cell is awful! (snorts) No matter where I stand, I'm never more than 12 feet away from the soap. (coughs) And it's all Carmen's fault! Go get her in (Continent). (coughs)
Robo: Robocrook Unit-059 calling. According to my default program, when imprisoned for more than 11 seconds, I automatically rat on my owner. Look for Carmen in (Continent).
Patty: I used to be a sweet innocent schoolgirl. Now I'm a sweet guilty schoolgirl and it's all Carmen's fault! Go look for her in (Continent).
Vic: Darn that Carmen! I've gone from Salesman of the Century to starchin' socks in the prison laundry. I'm climbin' down the ladder of success. Look for Carmen in (Continent).
Eartha: Uh-oh. If Carmen finds out I'm in jail again, I'll get fired for sure. Do me a favor and don't mention that you caught me when you're chasing her through (Continent).
Sarah: Aw, man! This prison is heinous! The guards keep playing Michael Bolton tapes. Get Carmen in here! She'll make 'em stop! She scooted to (Contient).
Wonder Rat: All right! Now I can sell my prison memoirs and make a zillion! Get Carmen in here so she can make me a publishin' deal. She's hidin' out in (Continent)
Kneemoi: Oh, another planet, another prison cell. Maybe I could spend my sentence getting to know Carmen better. Look for her in (Continent).
Double Trouble: That Carmen's a party pooper. We've been in jail for 17 seconds already, and she hasn't even visited yet! Look for her in (Continent).

Bathing Booty [3.1]

edit

[Grunge steals the Szechenyi Medicinal Bath from Budapest, Hungary]

Chief: And this is Top Grunge, Carmen Sandiego's skanky standard bearer of stink.
Rockapella: (singing) Top Grunge
Chief: His last known whereabouts: Budapest, Hungary. The Szechenyi Baths are located in Budapest City Park. Their natural fountains heated by volcanic action far below the ground produced 80 gallons of hot water a second. Visitors to Szechnyi enjoy the supposedly medicinal waters. They swim, sunbathe, take a sauna, or just submerge in mud up to their necks and play chess all day. But that was yesterday. Today, that malodorous, maladjusted, malady maven Top Grunge cruised into town and stunned the bathers with his stench, then he picked up the Szechenyi Baths and drove away. Gumshoes, it's your job to bring back the...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief ...BATHING BOOTY!

Rockapella: (sings to the tune of the Contessa's jingle) The Clue-Fish!

Greg: Excuse me, Chief. I don't mean to bother you, but, uh, (pulls out a gift) well, I have a little somethin' for ya.
Chief: Oh, you remembered. How sweet.
Greg: Well, you know, Chief, it's a little hard, you know to forget the first time I ever met you. I mean...
(he thinks back meeting the Chief for the first time, dressed as a punk)
Greg: (in a fake Australian punk accent) Right! This ACME Crime Net?
Chief: Yes.
Greg: I got a package for you. It's a new "Best of the Bee Gees" album. Right!
Chief: Oh, fabulous.
Greg: I hate the Bee Gees. Right!
Chief: Oh, well, what kind of music do you like?
Greg: Right, I got me own punk band, right? With four other guys. And we play loud music and sometimes, we would take a box of 64 crayons and crush 'em for no reason! Right?! That's the kinda music I love!
Chief: And you make a living doing this?
Greg: No! Why do you think I'm deliverin' packages?
Chief: Oh! I need somebody to help me fight crime. You want the job?
Greg: All right. What I gonna do?
Chief: (hands Greg a piece of paper) Oh, well, first of all, all you have to do is read this to the gumshoes at home.
Greg: Right! Everyday, we'll watch--
Chief: No, no. Softer, softer. (does the contest rules along with Greg, who finishes it and congratulates the winners) Oh, now, that was a very, very nice! You've got the job. And one more thing. Could you lose the fake accent? You do it so badly.
Greg: (normal voice) Oh, okay. No problem. I was wondering-- Is it possible that you can a job for the other 4 guys in my band?
Chief: Oh, no, I don't think so. I don't like punk music.
Greg: Oh, but listen. They sing pretty good a capella.
Chief: Oh! Oh, all right. (hands Greg a hat and jacket and shakes hands with him) Well, then, bring them by!
Greg: Thanks a lot!
(flashback ends)
Greg: Oh, boy, that brings back a lotta memories, huh?
Chief: Well, are you glad you came to work with me?
Greg: Oh, Chief, I wouldn't have missed it for the world!
Both: (imitate heavy metal rock stars) RIGHT!! GO AWAY!!
(Greg leaves the office)
Greg: You know, I am so much more mature now than I was... back... then. (pulls out gum and sticks it on the camera)

Rockapella: The Amazing Disgusting Glob!

(as the Chief, Greg, and the gumshoes travel to The Ozarks)
Greg: Hey, if I'd known we were takin' the amphibious cars, I had brought my waterskis.
Chief: That's why I didn't tell you, Greg.

Robot Robotnapper [3.2]

edit

[Robocrook steals the Pizzabot from Los Angeles, California]

Chief: And this is Robocrook, Carmen's bucket of oil and aluminum foil.
Rockapella: (singing) Rockapella
Chief: His last known whereabouts: Los Angeles. LA's Marina del Rey is home to a very special robot. His name is Pizzabot and he can slap together 50 pizza pies in a row. Pizzabot started as an experiment in helping disabled business people. He's operated by a paraplegic pizza shop owner who gives commands via computer. Built in Pittsburgh at Carnegie Melon University, Pizzabot moved to LA with his designer K. G. Engelhardt. And now he's moving again because today, Robocrook, snooping by Pizzabot's combo of good looks and culinary skill, kidnapped him, ingredients and all. He's always wanted a personal chef. Gumshoes, you've got a job on your plate. Catch Carmen and stop...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...the ROBOT ROBOTNAPPER!

Rockapella: ACME Radio Net! More hits, moooooooooooore MUSIC!

Chief: Greg, my office right away.
Greg: Yeah, Chief. I'll be right there. You guys, if you'll excuse me just a moment. She really can't do anything without me. (enters the office) Hey, Chief, what-- Wait a minute, you look different. No, you do. You look-- You look spiffier or somethin'.
Chief: Oh, well, I just had my earrings polished. Thank you, Greg for noticing.
Greg: That's it! Boy, you really look good! I'm not kiddin' ya.
Chief: Oh, I'm glad you think so.
Greg: Listen. Would you mind-- Just let me go-- I gotta show this to the gumshoes. Just let me bring--
Chief: No, No, No, No. Greg, we don't have time. We barely have enough time to tell the home viewers about the contest.
Greg: Yeah, that's right. I forgot about that. (Greg does the contest rules along with the Chief)
Greg: Yeah, good for that, huh?
Chief: Yeah.
Greg: Yeah. You know, by gosh, Chief, really. I mean, you look so good. Just let me go get 'em! And I'll bring 'em back. It won't take that long.
Chief: No, no, no, no, no. Greg! I can't have all three of them just trooping through the office. What do you think this is? Grand Central Station!?
Greg: Well, no. I-- (a giant clock descends from the ceiling, commuters walk through the office and a man is heard speaking over a p.a.) Look at that. Really. (laughs) (to a commuter) Oh, man, sure. (laughs) You know, Chief, it's funny, but, uh, I haven't really noticed this before. Thank you. I haven't noticed this before, but, you know, it really is like Grand Central Station.
Chief: What?!
Greg: I'm sure she's talkin' about now, because, uh--
Chief: (to the commuters) Everybody,...! GO AWAY! (everyone exits the office, and so does Greg, but one is still sitting on her desk) Go! You too! Paper! Go! Go!
Conductor: Tickets! (the Chief looks in her wallet for a ticket, but does not find one and the conductor leaves)
Greg: Okay-- (a train whistle blows and more commuters run into the office) Whoa! Hey! Wait a minute! Wait a minute! Hold it. Wait a second. Just a second.
Commuter: Hold it, Greg!
Greg: Okay.
Commuter: Hold it, Greg!
Greg: (sighs and closes the door) I tell ya, we do for a couple extra bucks around here, huh?

Carmen: Robo, take the robot to a city on the Mediterranean coast in a region claimed by two different countries. It's one of the world's oldest cities.
Robo: I know the place, but don't recall signs of ancient civilization.
Carmen: That's because it's been destroyed in war repeatedly over the years, but archeologists studied there have found plenty.
Robo: Please elaborate.
Carmen: They unearthed an ancient cavehouse that may dig back 6,000 years.
Robo: Wow. They were making androids out of mud back then.

(as the Chief, Greg, and the gumshoes travel to The Azores)
Greg: Wow! How can we afford this cool monorail, Chief?
Chief: 3 words, Greg: "Viewers like you."

Rockapella: (each time Pizzabot is revealed in the 2nd round)
Pizzabot heck!
Pizzabot Greg!
Pizzabot wow!
Pizzabot oy!
Pizzabot!

Rockapella: (when Robo is revealed) Robocrook! BINGO!!

Little Dog Gone [3.3]

edit

[Patty Larceny steals Bobby the Dog.]

Chief: And this is Patty Larceny, Carmen's sneaky sophomore snitcher.
Rockapella: (singing) P-P-P-Patty
Chief: Her last known whereabouts: Edinburgh, Scotland. Bobby the Dog belonged to a shepherd named John Grey. On market days, Grey and Bobby always stopped for lunch at a tavern across the street from Greyfriars Church. When Grey died in 1858 and was buried in the churchyard, the dog refused to leave his master's grave. For 14 years, Bobby left only once daily to eat at the tavern. When Bobby finally went to doggy heaven, friends built a statue of him near the churchyard. And, it stood there until today when Patty, armed with a heavy duty leash, tempted the terrier with a savory smelling dog biscuit. First, he resisted her advances, but then she collared him and walked him away. Gumshoes, you've got to find out where that...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...LITTLE DOG GONE!

Patty: Carmen, this bronze dog is awfully heavy and he doesn't even know any tricks.
Carmen: Don't whine, Patty dear. The Gumshoes have sniffed you out. Go to an island nation east of Mozambique.
Patty: Hey, I'll stash the loot there.
Carmen: You won't be the first. Pirates use this island as a base in the 17th and 18th centuries. It's also famous for its chameleons-- lizards who can change color.
Patty: If I were a chameleon, I'd go for a nice floral print.
Carmen: Your color's going to be jail cell gray if you don't get moving. Now, scoot.

(as the Chief, Greg and the gumshoes travel to Denver, Colorado)
Chief: Oh, this guy is such a good driver.
Greg: He knows how to stay on a straight line. That's for sure.
Chief: Yeah.

Tricky Trickle Trapper [3.4]

edit

[Vic the Slick steals the Source of the Nile]

Chief: And this is Vic the Slick, Carmen Sandiego's greasy guru of graft.
Rockapella: (singing) Vic the Slick
Chief: His last known whereabouts: Burundi. In 1937, German explorer Burkhart Waldecker answered a question folks had been asking for 5,000 years: where is the Source of the Nile? Waldecker pinpointed a small spring in Burundi. It forms a stream which flows into Lake Victoria, which in turn empties into the White Nile. The water passes along Rwanda's border through Uganda, Sudan and north through Egypt. More than 4,000 miles from its source, it empties into the Mediterranean Sea. Or it did until today when that venomous viper Vic the Slick bopped into Burundi and sponged the spring dry. Millions of people in five countries have lost their liquid assets. Gumshoes, capture Carmen and stop that...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...TRICKY TRICKLE TRAPPER!

Chief: Greg?
Greg: Yeah.
Chief: It's time.
Greg: Oh, yeah.
Chief: You ready?
Greg: Oh, yeah.
Chief: Come on.
Greg: I'll be right there.
Chief: Come on.
Greg: I'll be there. You guys stay here. Chess ACME style. (enters the office) You ready?
Chief: (shakes Greg's hand) Let's rumble.
Greg: GO! (both run to one end of the desk and grab each others hands) Hey! Oh! Ahh!
Chief: (laughs) Pickle hops the queen's right shoulder! (picks up a bat and runs to Greg's side and he gives chase)
Greg: Hey, you can't do that on the first move!
Chief: I already did!
Greg: Can't do it! Then, I call mayonnaise!
(they run up to the camera)
Chief: You can't do that.
Greg: Already did! PSYCHE! (laughs) Listen. (does the contest rules, but the Chief interrupts him in the middle of the second line)
Chief: Uh-uh-uh! Sloth! Steal sloth! Steal sloth! Steal-- (butts Greg over)
Greg: Whoa! Oof!
Chief: (finishes the second line of the contest rules) You--
Greg: Mud piling jumped the turtle, too.
Chief: Oh, no! (runs to the back of the office)
Greg: (laughs as he jumps off the desk) Every day, we'll pick 5 people whose lists are correct and send them each a Carmen T-Shirt. Here are the winners for today.
Chief: (as the contest winners are revealed) Oh! Oh, no, you can't do that!
Greg: Hey, come on! You're outta bounds!
Chief: No, no, no, no!
Greg: You're outta bounds!
Chief: I'm not outta bounds! I'm not! I'm not! I'm not!
Greg: Time out! Time out! Time out!
Chief: You can't call time out!
Greg: Congratulations to all the winners.
Chief: (laughs as she throws a net on Greg) The con log roll-capture!
(buzzer sounds)
Greg: Oh, rats! Rats!
Chief: Oh.
Greg: All right. Well, listen. (shakes the Chief's hand) Nice game.
Chief: Thanks.
Greg: You knew you're ahead by one.
Chief: Yeah? I thought I was behind.
Greg: (pulls out a notepad) No. See, you were ahead. Same time next week?
Chief: You bet.
Greg: All right. (exits the office with the net still on his head)
Chief: (to the home audience) What's the matter? You act like you've never seen two people play chess before.
(when Greg returns to HQ, he notices that Sean and a gorilla are playing the exact same game, so he removes the net from his head)
Greg: (throws the net on Sean) Pumpernickel's a dog toenail!
(Sean groans and Greg laughs)
Greg: Hey, buddy! Yeah!
(he and the gorilla hi-5, and the gorilla heads home)

Vic: Hey, Charmin', this spring is makin' my polyester kinda soggy. Where can I stash it?
Carmen: Hide it in a city in southern Nevada whose name is Spanish for the meadows.
Vic: Sounds like a sleepy farm town.
Carmen: It's anything but sleepy. In fact, it's been the fastest-growing American city in the past few years. While the tourist industry alone generates over $14,000,000,000 a year.
Vic: Holy savalas! I could buy pinky rings for all 12 fingers with that kinda dough. (laughs)

Greg: (as he, the Chief and the gumshoes prepare for departure to Guatemala) Okay, guys, listen up. Now, it's time for us to go to Guatemala to try to track down Vic the Slick and get back the Source of the Nile. You guys ready to go? Right?
Brenna: Yeah.
Greg: You ready? All packed and everything?
Chief: Greg? I got information to help you.
Greg: Yeah, Chief?
Chief: It's time to hit the road!
Greg: We were just doin' that, Chief. I'm sorry, guys. Go ahead. Felipe, go through the door. If you Brenna, grab my hat. Just take a right out there. We'll stop by my apartment and see what I forgot.
Chief: (while traveling) Uh, Greg, I heard the bridge is out.
Greg: No problem, Chief.

Might Takes Wright [3.5]

edit

[Eartha Brute steals Falling Water.]

Chief: And this is Eartha Brute, Carmen Sandiego's brawny brawling burglaress.
Rockapella: (singing) Eartha Brute HUH!
Chief: Her last known whereabouts: Western Pennsylvania. In 1935, department store owner Edgar Kaufmann commissioned architect Frank Lloyd Wright to build a vacation home near a waterfall on Bear Run. Wright surprised Kaufmann with a plan to build a house directly over the waterfall. The building called Falling Water was completed in 1939. One scholar called Falling Water a complete masterpiece of 20th century art. Well, today, that complete masterpiece is completely gone because Eartha barreled up Bear Run, admired the architecture, and bolted with the building, waterfall and all. Gumshoes, it's a fright when...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...MIGHT TAKES WRIGHT!

(while Greg, the Gumshoes, and the Chief travel to Algeria, Greg and the Chief hum "Wait for the Wagon")
Chief: All together now!
Greg and the Chief: Wait for the Wagon.
Wait for the Wagon.
Wait for the Wagon,
and we'll all take a ride!

Greg: The M'zab (Shoeprints are revealed)
Rockapella: Nothing!
Greg: Thank you!
Rockapella: Whatever! (Greg laughs)

Greg: You guys ready?!
Audience: YEAH!!
Greg: I just wanna make sure that everybody is really ready for this. Okay? So everybody, repeat after me! It's time...!
Audience: It's time...!
Greg: To catch...!
Audience: To catch...!
Greg: Carmen Sandiego!
Audience: Carmen Sandiego!
Greg: I said it's time...!
Audience: It's time...!
Greg: To catch...!
Audience: To catch...!
Greg: Carmen Sandiego!
Audience: Carmen Sandiego!
Greg: It's time...!
Audience: It's time...!
Greg: To catch...!
Audience: To catch...!
Greg: Carmen Sandiego!
Audience: Carmen Sandiego!
Greg: Lemme hear you cheer! Let's do this! (to Kavir) C'mon, man!
(the audience cheers)

Feckless Felons of Fenway [3.6]

edit

[Double Trouble steal Fenway Park]

Chief: And this despicable duo is Double Trouble, Carmen's pathetic pair of pathological pirates.
Rockapella: (singing) Double Trouble (Trouble)
Chief: Their last known whereabouts: Boston, Massachusetts. Fenway Park, home of the Boston Red Sox, was built in 1912. To see the great Ted Williams, Carl Yastrzemski, or Roger Clemens at this classic neighborhood ballpark, oh, what a way to spend the summer night. And that green monster, try catching a ball that bounces off a 37-foot wall. Oh, Bostonians are proud of Fenway. They fill it for almost every game. Or they did until today when Double Trouble, Carmen's brazen burgling backstops, stole not just the bases, but the whole stadium. You've got to stop them, gumshoes. Crunch Carmen and foil...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...the FECKLESS FELONS OF FENWAY!

Pinch: Greg.
Greg: Yeah?
Pinch: I need to see your cards for a sec.
Greg: Oh, sure. What's the matter?
Pinch: Yeah, there's a mistake. You wanna take a break while I fix them?
Greg: Oh, yeah. Thanks.
Pinch: Okay.
Greg: Cool. (in his mind) A break? Sure I could use a break. Maybe I'll just pluck around back here for a clue. (puts a "KICK ME" sign behind a cameraman) A-ha! (sees a man dressed as a viking holding a card) A viking. For chance, the boys are in southern Ireland. In an important harbor that's the country's second largest city.
Pinch: (in her mind) Now, how did he get that from a viking costume? Wouldn't like leprechaun be more appropriate?
Greg: Well, you see, Pinch, vikings sailed up Ireland's rivers in the 800s and they establish lots of cities. Including this one.
Pinch: Oh, gotcha. Hey, you'd better get back to work. (hands back Greg's cards) Here are your cards.
Greg: Thanks. (returns to the gumshoes and kicks behind the cameraman; aloud) I guess we're just on the same wavelength.

Chief: Greg, come into my office.
Greg: Oh, sure, Chief. I'll be right there. You guys just excuse me one moment. We got a lotta things goin' on today. I'll be right back. Hang tight. (enters the office) What's up, Chief?
Chief: Greg, I can't find the ACME field agents tracking folders. You know where they are?
Greg: Oh, yeah. I put them down in the basement.
Chief: What basement? I didn't know we had a basement.
Greg: Sure we have a basement. It's downstairs.
Chief: What? I know it's downstairs.
Greg: You said you didn't know we had a basement.
Chief: You know what I mean.
Greg: Okay.
Chief: Could you get them for me please?
Greg: I'd be glad to. Just hold on a second. I wanna check the light on this thing, too. Because it was-- Whoa! (falls down the "basement stairs") Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh! Oh! Oh! Oh, here they are right here. (climbs back up the "stairs" and hands the Chief the folder) Oh. The light's not workin' by the way.
Chief: Oh, great.
Greg: It's dark.
Chief: Greg.
Greg: Yeah?
Chief: There's only one sheet of paper in here and it says "Note to viewers" (does the contest rules) Uh, Greg?
Greg: Yeah?
Chief: This is great information, but the tracking folders?
Greg: Oh, right.
Chief: Now, be careful.
Greg: I will. (heads back down the "stairs") You know, it's so dark down here, Chief. Sometimes, you have to really watch your step, but I got my really nifty filing system, (the Chief stands up from her desk to notice Greg ducking down and that there was no basement) and I think most people would be proud of it.
Chief: Greg.
Greg: Hiya, Chief.
Chief: Oh, I knew there was no basement. Here we are in the middle of an investigation, and instead of getting the files I need, you're wasting time with juvenile trickery! Now, stand up, Mister, and get outta here!
Greg: All right, Chief. (hands her the files) Here are your files. (exits the office and returns to the gumshoes coming up the "stairs" behind the monitor as he does his Phone Tap introduction)

("Charge" is heard playing in the background)
Double Trouble: Hey, Carmen! This baseball is fun! Double-headers, long summer nights, hot dogs...
Carmen: Well, you're headed for the winter leagues. Go to a Russian port city on the White Sea.
Double Trouble: Nothin' like winter baseball, boss lady. A slight chill in the air, and...
Carmen: No, boys. This city gets serious winter. Sometimes, the harbor freezes for 7 months, and they keep it open with special ice-breaking ships. The sky stays dark for months, so make sure the ballpark lights are working.
Double Trouble: Jeez, Carmen. You think we could put fake fur seats in Fenway?

(as the Chief, Greg, and the gumshoes travel to the Andes Mountains)
Chief: Uh, Greg, are you sure you know how to steer this thing?
Greg: Uh, I thought you knew, Chief.
Chief: Oh.
Greg: My mistake.

Greg: Machu Picchu. (Shoeprints are revealed)
Rockapella: Gesundheit! (Greg laughs)

Rockapella: (each time Fenway Park is revealed)

Foul balls! Green monster!

Where the Wandering Wildebeests Went [3.7]

edit

[Kneemoi steals southeastern Africa's Bearded Wildebeests]

Chief: And this is Kneemoi, Carmen's oozy, goozy celestial floozy.
Rockapella: (singing) Kneemoi
Chief: Her last known whereabouts: Southeastern Africa. This area is home to over a million bearded wildebeests. Every spring these members of the Antelope family make the longest annual mass migration on Earth. Their trip begins in the Serengeti Plains of Tanzania. They travel West to the Serengeti Woodlands and continue north to Kenya's Masai Mara. They don't all make it. Some get sick, others become lion food. But the wandering wildebeests took an unwelcome detour today when Kneemoi hooved into Africa and shanghaied the entire migration. She wants to take them back to her planet because she thinks they look like a Roddenberrian ant farm. Gumshoes, you've got to capture Carmen, nail Kneemoi, and figure out...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...WHERE THE WANDERING WILDEBEESTS WENT!

(ship's horn sounds)
Greg: Okay, uh, if you guys could just wait here for a moment. I just remembered that I hafta go, uh, recycle my dental floss. I'll be-- I'll be right back.
(enters the alley and the viewing turns black and white)
(Rockapella sings a catchy tune, and the Shadow walks up to Greg)
Greg: We meet again?
Shadow: Yes. The volleyballs have the mumps.
Greg: Okay, don't tell me. Volleyballs-- Uh, volleyballs mean... Sti--
Shadow: Oh, you never know the code!
Greg: I've been busy!
Shadow: Kneemoi is in the first permanent European settlement in the United States.
Greg: Yes.
Shadow: Ponce de León landed there in 1513 while looking for the Fountain of Youth.
Greg: Well, the Fountain of Youth--
Shadow: But don't look at me!
Greg: Sorry!
Shadow: Of course, the Timucua people were there 1,000 years before him. The alligators wrestle on the farm.
Greg: Okay, the alligators wrestle on the farm--
Shadow: It's not code, Greg!
Greg: I knew that.
Shadow: You can go to an alligator farm there and watch them wrestle.
Greg: All right.
Shadow: One more thing.
Greg: Yes?
Shadow: You're stepping on my pig.
Greg: Okay, you're stepping on my pig. (sees his foot on a piggy bank)
Rockapella: Baadow!
Greg: Oh, yes, stepping on my-- That was very-- (sees that the Shadow has left) Yes. Yes. Good one. That's good. (returns to the gumshoes from the window behind the monitor) Okay, we're done with the bit. Let's have the color back, please. (the viewing turns back to color) Thank you.

Chief: (in a worried voice) Greg, don't come into my office, right away.
Greg: Uh, you know, I think something's the matter with the Chief. If you guys would just hold on here. This is, uh, rather confusing. Just-- I'll be right back. Hold on. (enters the office) Chief, what's goin' on?
Chief: Oh, I'm glad you're not here, Greg.
Greg: Uh, Chief, don't you mean you're glad I am here?
Chief: No.
Greg: Wait a minute, this is very strange. Say, Chief, do you like lima beans?
Chief: No!
Greg: A-ha! I happen to know the Chief loves lima beans. Lemme try somethin' else. Uh, Chief, are you a waterbug?
Chief: Yes!
Greg: Ha-ha! I also happen to know the Chief is not a waterbug. I sense a pattern here. Chief, you're saying the opposite of everything you mean, aren't you?
Chief: No!
Greg: Ha-ha! I thought so! Now, (looks around the office) what could possibly-- Well, Chief, here's the problem right here. It's your polarity. (comes up to a panel of two switches) It's on negative.
Chief: Oh, please don't switch it!
Greg: Oh, don't worry, I will. (turns the switch to positive)
Chief: Bring on the lima beans!
Greg: Hey!
Chief: Oh, ho, that's better. Oh, ho-- Oh. I almost forgot.
Greg: Yeah.
(Greg and the Chief do the contest rules)
Greg: (sees a different switch below the polarity) Hey, Chief, what's this right here?
Chief: Oh, no, don't touch that dial, Greg. It's very delicate instrument, (Greg turns the dial to fast, which causes the Chief to move and speak fast forward) and you might do something wrong with it. Greg, don't touch the dial! If you do that, it will get broken and we'll never be able to fix it! Greg! Greg! Put that dial back right now!
Greg: Sorry, Chief.
Chief: (normal voice) Greg?
Greg: Mm?
Chief: Go away.
Greg: All right. I'll go away. I'll be right out the door, Chief. (turns the dial to slow before he exits the office)
Chief: (in a slow-motion voice) Sometimes, he makes me so mad.
Greg: (returns to HQ; in a high-speed voice) Okay, guys. Remember, we're still after Kneemoi and the Wildebeests. Fortunately for us, though, ACME Bug Net has just intercepted this phone conversation between Kneemoi and Carmen Sandiego. Watch.

(as Greg, the Chief, and the gumshoes travel to Norway)
Chief: Greg, watch it! You don't want to exceed the speed limit.
Greg: I'll stay under 5 zillion miles an hour, Chief. I promise.

Chief: (before the Photo Recon) There are 15 places here in Norway where you might find Kneemoi, the Warrant, or the Wildebeest. Uh, Wildebeests. Wil-- Wildebeestees. Wil-- Whatever.

Greg: Glåma River. (Shoeprints are revealed)
Rockapella: Nothing!
Greg: Thank you!
Rockapella: You're welcome!

Rockapella: (sings to the tune of the theme from the movie "Beauty and the Beast") Beauty and the Wildebeest!

Withdrawal Symptoms [3.8]

edit

[Sarah Nade steals the SEWA Bank]

Chief: And this is Sarah Nade, Carmen Sandiego's poodle-headed punk pilferer.
Rockapella: (sing) Sarah Nade!
Chief: Her last known whereabouts: Ahmadabad, India, home to SEWA, the Self Employed Women's Association. It's mission: to help Indian women who work for themselves. One of SEWA's projects is the SEWA Bank. It lends money to women who aren't eligible for business loans from regular banks. All the bank's procedures are specially designed for poor frequently illiterate women. For instance, their bank books have picture IDs instead of signatures. SEWA's loan repayment rate is very high... or it was until today, when Sarah Nade arrived in Ahmadabad and made a very large withdrawal. She stole the whole bank. Gumshoes, you've got to solve today's case...
Rockapella: (sing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...WITHDRAWAL SYMPTOMS!

Chief: Greg, something extremely important has come up. Could you come in here for a moment?
Greg: Oh, certainly. Absolutely, Chief. Guys, excuse me. Obviously something very important here. I'll be right back. (enters the office) Yeah, Chief.
Chief: Pick a number.
Greg: Oh, I love these things! What are they called again?
Chief: It's an ACME Fortune Teller Foldie-Thing. Now, come on, Greg. Pick a number.
Greg: Uh, 2.
Chief: Okay, pick a color.
Greg: Uh, Chartreuse. (both glare at each other) Okay, Red.
Chief: R-E-D.
Greg: Uh-huh. Okay.
Chief: "You will tell the gumshoes at home about the contest.". Well, that's a pretty specific fortune you have there, Greg.
Greg: Yeah, absolutely, I mean I can't imagine that it's ever gonna come true. WHOA! (does the contest rules) Hey! Why did I do that?
Chief: Well, the power of the Foldie-Thing is so powerful and mysterious. (finishes the contest rules and reveals the winners)
Greg: Congratulations to the winners. Okay, Chief, now it's your turn. Pick a number.
Chief: Uh, 2.
Greg: 2. 1, 2. Uh, pick a lunch meat.
Chief: A lunch meat. Uh, Olive Loaf.
Greg: Olive Loaf. O-L-I-V-E L-O-A-F. Okay, here it is right here. It says that, "You and your partner will dance the Polka, and then, you'll turn and yell "Chocolate Waffles! Chocolate Waffles!" to each other, and then, he will immediately leave the office.".
Chief: Oh, that's the most the most ridiculous thing I've ever-- (a bugle horn sounds, and Greg and the Chief stand)
Greg and the Chief: WHOA!! (polka music plays, they both dance the polka then turn to each other) CHOCOLATE WAFFLES!!! CHOCOLATE WAFFLES!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! (Greg darts out of the office)
(After Greg exits the office, he screams)

(rock music is playing in the background as Sarah rollerblades on-screen)
Carmen: Turn down that noise and listen! (silence) ACME is up to something. Take the Bank to a group of islands northeast of Cape Horn.
Sarah: Charmin', Carmen! My, ya like, pined for a horn section.
Carmen: No, Cape Horn. In South America. Britain controls the islands now, but Argentina tried to capture them in 1982.
Sarah: Hey, really on stilts! I know the place! Argentines call 'em the Malvinas. I'm blastin' past last pass!
Carmen: (to herself) I know 12 languages, but I never understand a word she says.

Zap: Hi, gumshoes. Sarah Nade is in a city in north central California. She's hiding out in a children's museum.
Turbo: But, ya'd better fan out. The city has 5 of 'em.
Zap: My favorite's the Visionarium. 'Cause it's like a fun house of education and you could learn all about science. They're playing with bubbles, and racing golf balls. Goofy stuff like that.
Turbo: Oh, and stop by the Governor's mansion. I heard the Gov got the goods for the gumshoes.
Zap: See ya.

Chief: (on the phone at the end of Round 1) Yes, you're right, Lemke. It was a fine effort. Mm-hmm. Ooh, that's a good idea. (she hangs up the phone)

Greg: (as he, the chief, and the gumshoes prepare for departure to Sacramento, California) Okay, guys, now, what we have to do is go to Sacramento to try to find Sarah and the Bank. You guys ready to go?
Heather and Jamie: Yeah.
Greg: Okay, I almost am. If you can take my hat and if you can get the door please. Uh, I need to go get my toenails--
Chief: Uh, Greg?
Greg: Yeah?
Chief: I got some information for you now.
Greg: Yeah?
Chief: Let's hit this show on the road!
Greg: We're doin' that. We're doin' that. (heads out the door through the alley to catch up with Heather and Jamie)
Chief: (while traveling) Greg, are you sure you're staying below the speed limit?
Greg: I'm goin' 55 miles an hour, Chief. Honest!

Rockapella: Wrangled Rupees!

Rockapella: (when Heather wins the 2nd round) Sarah Nade! Honderees!

Chief: This is Lynn Thigpen for Where in the World Is Carmen Sandiego?, and remember: You'll be mopping prison floors if you take stuff that's not yours!

Officers' Mess [3.09]

edit

[Grunge steals the United States Military Academy]

Chief: And this is Top Grunge, Carmen Sandiego's festering farrago of filth.
Rockapella: (singing) Top Grunge
Chief: His last known whereabouts: West Point on New York's Hudson River. The U.S. Military Academy was founded here in 1802. Among its nearly 50,000 graduates, presidents Ulysses S. Grant and Dwight D. Eisenhower. Students are called cadets and after graduation, they become second lieutenants in the U.S. Army. The first graduating class consisted of ten men. Nowadays, more than 900 men and women graduate each year. Or they did until today when Top Grunge rode into formation. Dreaming his dreams of military glory, Grunge hopped on his chopper and heisted the whole academy. Gumshoes, you've got to clean up this...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...OFFICERS' MESS!

Chief: Greg, you'd better come into my office.
Greg: Yeah, Chief. I'll be right there. You guys, if you'll excuse me for just a moment. The Chief obviously is a need of me. (enters the office, where the Chief has ping-pong balls on her desk) What's up, Chief?
Chief: Uh, Greg, something weird is going on. I can't explain it, but a certain thing happens whenever anybody says Carmen's last name, so from now on, it's just Carmen.
Greg: Okay. Okay. Don't worry, Chief, I won't say "Carmen Sandiego".
(ping-pong balls fall from the ceiling onto the Chief)
Chief: Thanks, Greg. I knew I could count on you.
Greg: I'm sorry. Never again. I promise. I won't say "Carmen Sandi... armpit." Carmen Sandieggsalad. Carmen Sandielephant.
Chief: Oh, for goodness sake, Greg! I keep thinking you're about to say "Carmen Sandiego".
(ping-pong balls fall)
Greg: Uh, uh, Chief, do you think maybe this is maybe a good time for the home viewer contest?
Chief: Yes.
Greg: 'Kay.
(Greg and the Chief do the contest rules)
Greg: Great. See ya later. (exits the office, but the Chief stops him)
Chief: Uh, Greg. Greg, one more thing.
Greg: Mm-hmm?
Chief: You-- You know the squeak in my chair.
Greg: Oh, yeah.
Chief: I wonder if you could just check it out for me.
Greg: Squeak in a chair? All right. (sits down)
Chief: Right there. (to the ceiling) Carmen Sandiego!
(nothing happens)
Greg: Nope. No squeak that I could find. I gotta get back to work. See ya. (exits the office)
(the Chief sits back down at her desk and the ping-pong balls fall again)
(Greg returns to HQ and looks up at the ceiling to see if ping-pong balls would fall, but they don't until one does when Greg leaves for the Phone Tap)

Roaring Rodent Road Show [3.10]

edit

[Wonder Rat steals Cody, Wyoming]

Chief: And this is Wonder Rat, Carmen's snout-faced, self-promoting crony in crime.
Rockapella: (singing) Wonder Rat
Chief: His last known whereabouts: Cody, Wyoming. Showman Buffalo Bill Cody founded this town. His traveling Wild West Show made stars out of Annie Oakley and Chief Sitting Bull. The show's memorabilia is now displayed at Cody's Buffalo Bill Historical Center. Some say Bill's greatest achievement was turning himself into a legend. Well, oneself promoter deserves another and the other showed up today. When Wonder Rat, Carmen's second rate superhero stole the whole town. Wyoming is wailing and we've got to whip that wonder weasel. Gumshoes, your job is to wrangle that rat and his...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...ROARING RODENT ROAD SHOW!

Chief: This is Lynne Thigpen for Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?. And remember: Our gumshoes are strong and steady, and some them have moms named Betty. Not mine but some of them do.

The Pied Pirates of Petra [3.11]

edit

[Double Trouble steal Petra, Jordan]

Chief: And this is Double Trouble, Carmen Sandiego's decadent duo of devious depravity.
Rockapella: (singing) Double Trouble (Trouble)
Chief: Their last known whereabouts: Petra, Jordan. A 2,000-year-old city carved into the sides of a sandstone canyon. It was once the capital of an ancient Nabatean civilization. The Ferals Treasury, long rumored to hide a fortune in gold, is the town's centerpiece. By the 13th century, Petra was nearly abandoned, then in 1812, a Swiss explorer Johann Burckhardt rediscovered it. It's been a major tourist spot ever since. Or it was until today when Double Trouble, that dippy duo in disguise, tiptoed into town, purloined Petra, and left Jordan with a not-so grand canyon, Gumshoes, here's your job: bring the city home and pursue...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief ...THE PIED PIRATES OF PETRA!

Chief: No, don't bother to talk about the case, Greg. We're on snack time, and I intend to enjoy it!
Greg: Well, me, too, Chief! What'd ya bring?
Chief: What did I bring? Why do you ask?
Greg: Well, Chief, it's Trade Day. Y'know, everybody brings somethin' a little special in their snack box, so they can trade it with their friends. Now, what'd ya bring?
Chief: I got Shitake mushrooms en Croute, surrounded by new potatoes with parsley. And I don't want to trade. I like what I brought.
Greg: But listen, Chief, I did not make up the rules! Okay? All I know is, it's snack time, and it's Trade Day, so, here ya go. All right?
(he swaps his snack with the Chief's mushrooms)
Greg: Listen. Actually, you're in a lotta luck today, because I made my special Vienna-sausage-and-watermelon sandwich, and just for you, buddy, I put on an extra layer of mayo and peanut butter. It is great!
Chief: (looks closely at said sandwich) Greg, this is on white bread!
Greg: You better believe it, Chief. Mmm, nummy! Hoo.
(he chows down on his mushrooms)
Greg: Oh, Chief, this is fantastic.
Chief: I know.
Greg: This is great! MMM!
Chief: Let's show today's home contest winners.
(the winners are shown)
Chief: Congratulations to the winners.
(Greg grabs a loaf of sourdough bread to add to his mushrooms, while he and the Chief finish the contest rules)
Greg: (after he's finished) Chief, listen, that was great. What do you have for dessert?
Chief: (exasperatedly reveals her dessert) French pastries.
Greg: (amazed) Oh! Petifores! Chief, I love these! These are fan-- Thank you very much. (hands the Chief his own dessert and takes the pastries) Here's mine right here. Listen, I gotta go.
(he exits the office with the pastries, and the Chief looks at the dessert she got from Greg, and is dismayed, so she picks up Lemke's special phone)
Chief: (on phone) Uh, Lemke. Yeah. Chief here. Mmm-hmm. What've you got for dessert? Huh? Yeah? Why don't you bring it up to the office immediately? It's Trade Day.
(after Greg exits the office, Sean walks up to him with his own dessert)
Sean: Trade Day. (swaps desserts with Greg)
Greg: Oh. Yeah, thanks. Thanks a lot. Thank you.
Elliot: Trade Day. (swaps desserts with Sean)
Barry: Trade Day. (swaps desserts with Elliot)
Greg: Hey, Trade Day. (swaps desserts with Barry, thus retrieving his French pastries) (laughs) Phone Tap.

Carmen: Boys, pack up Petra and roll out. Those ACME Dumbshoes are on to you.
Double Trouble: Geez, Carmen, we were just skankin' to some Dancehall music.
Carmen: Dancehall music? You mean that jammin' mix of Reggae and Rap? Well, guess what? You're going to Kingston! Then, Montego Bay.
Double Trouble: Kingston? Hey, Carmen, that's where Dancehall music got started. And now, it's played all over the island. We never figured you'd be hipped to it.
Carmen: Don't underestimate me, boys. I've stolen every record Shavarings ever made.
Double Trouble: Carmen, you are de dum.

(As the Chief, Greg, and the gumshoes travel to Ottawa, Canada)
Greg: Hey, Chief?
Chief: Yes, Greg?
Greg: I can see your house from here.

Greg: National Gallery of Canada. (Shoeprints are revealed)
Rockapella: Nothing!
Greg: Thank you.
Rockapella: You're welcome! (Greg laughs)

Rockapella: (when Zeeshan wins the 2nd round) Double Trouble (Trouble)! Yes, indeedy-doo!

The Gambian Gambit [3.12]

edit

[Robocrook steals Gambia's Stone Circles.]

Chief: And this is Robocrook, Carmen Sandiego's hardware headache.
Rockapella: (singing) Robocrook
Chief: His last known whereabouts: The Gambia, a small country on Africa's West Coast. All over the Gambia, archaeologists have found stone circles, circular arrangements of stone columns standing two to nine feet high. They appear to date back about 1,200 years. Some surround ancient burial sites and some don't. Who placed the stones? What do the stones mean? Why are they arranged in different ways? Those are the questions archaeologists like to ask. Or they did until today when Robocrook, that silicon sleazebag, rambled into the Gambia and did a little manual morphing and stole every stone. Gumshoes, you've got to crack the case of...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...THE GAMBIAN GAMBIT!

Chief: Greg, step into my office.
Greg: Yes, ma'am. I'll be right there. If you guys will please just excuse me. The Chief obviously cannot run this office without me. (enters the office) What's up, Chief?
Chief: Uh, Greg, I need to borrow a quarter for the ice machine.
Greg: Oh, is that all you wanted me for was a quarter?
Chief: No. It's just the first thing.
Greg: All right, let's see. (shows a coin holder in his jacket) You're in luck here. (pulls a coin out from the holder) Try this. (hands the Chief the coin)
Chief: Oh, okay. Greg, what are these? I've never seen coins like this before.
Greg: Chief, come on. Look. Nixon on the front, blank tapes on the back. 12 and a half cent piece.
Chief: Greg, the ice machine will not take these coins.
Greg: No?
Chief: No.
Greg: Oh, here, gimme that. (takes the coin) Try these. (pulls out two different coins and hands them to the Chief) Here, try those.
Chief: All right, here's-- Okay a dime.
Greg: Dime.
Chief: And-- What the heck? Greg.
Greg: What?
Chief: This coin has Millard Fillmore on it.
Greg: Right, it's a 15 cent piece. Plus the dime. That's 25. Simple arithmetic, Chief.
Chief: A 15 cent piece.
Greg: Yes.
Chief: Yeah, Fillmore on the front.
Greg: Yes.
Chief: And-- Oh, there's a motto on the back. It says (magnifies the coin and does the contest rules)
Greg: That is incredibly small type.
Chief: Yes, it is.
Greg: Let's show 'em who won today.
(the contest winners are revealed)
Greg: Congratulations to the winners. Here, Chief, take a look at this. (pulls out another coin and hands it to the Chief) Very proud on that. Take a look.
Chief: Ozzy Osbourne?!
Greg: You'd better believe it. Negative 35 cent piece, Chief.
Chief: Greg, I still can't use these coins in the ice machine. Oh, say, now, there is an interesting motto on the other side of this one.
Greg: Okay, what is it?
Chief: It says "Gregorious scramous outous".
Greg: Lemme see that. (the Chief hands him the coin) "Gregorious scramous outous". I wanna go look this one up. (exits the office)
Chief: Yes, Greg. You do that.
(Greg returns to HQ, looking in a Latin dictionary and sets it aside)
Greg: Very funny.

Carmen: Robo, those ACME agents are closing in. Hide out in a football game at Maracanã stadium.
Robo: Ah, football. No team is superior to da Bears.
Carmen: Not American style football, Robo. The game called soccer in the US is called Football in most other places.
Robo: Foot... ball? Football. Da Bears. Where in the stadium should I hide?
Carmen: Just blend in with the torsidorch. That's Portuguese for spectators. They beat drums, wave flags and yell cheers to support their team.
Robo: Do you think I could trade the stone circles for Ditka's autograph?
Carmen: I'm going to trade you for a Toyota if you don't move now.

(as Greg, the Chief, and the gumshoes travel to Venice, Italy)
Chief: Well, what do you think of our new ACME monorail, Greg?
Greg: Ah, Chief, doesn't even have a caboose.

Rockapella: (each time the stone circles are revealed)
Burgled boulders!
Like a Rolling Stone! (Bob Dylan song)
Whoa! The stones, man!

Rockapella: (when Mark wins the 2nd round) Robocrook! GET DOWN!

Greg: Point right over there. Just point.
(Mark points to the phone, and it rings)
Greg: Look at the power! Hello? Yeah, it's for you.
Mark: Yes? (Robo tells Mark to go to Africa)

The Persian Subversion (The Grabbing of the Gulf) [3.13]

edit

[Wonder Rat steals the Persian Gulf]

Chief: And this is Wonder Rat, Carmen's wicked whiskered windbag.
Rockapella: (singing) Wonder Rat
Chief His last known whereabouts: the Persian Gulf. The Persian Gulf is an arm of the Arabian Sea. Bordered by oil-rich nations like Kuwait and Saudi Arabia, the Gulf is the key passageway for shipping billions of dollars in oil and natural gas to the world's nations. That's one reason the region has seen its share of war in recent years. But today, the gulf is gone. Wonder Rat burrowed his way to the beach. He figured in his twisted mind that if it was worth worrying over it must be worth stealing. So he drained every drop. Gumshoes, bring an end to his evil caper...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...THE PERSIAN SUBVERSION or THE GRABBING OF THE GULF!

Greg: Hiya, Chief. Listen, I was expectin' you to call me in.
Chief: Well, I couldn't, Greg. My intercom doesn't work, and look, (shows her magnifying glass) my magnifying glass won't magnify. The blotter won't blot. Well, I can't even open my drawers.
Greg: Chief, listen. Maybe your desk is outta gas. Now, when was the last time you had it filled?
Chief: Well, you know, I've been so busy, I haven't even thought about it lately.
Greg: Look here, this is your problem. It's bone dry, huh? I'll fill it up for you. (taps the left side of her desk to summon the monitor she had previously used for the Photo Recon segment in Season 2)
Chief: Oh, thanks. And while you do that, I'll tell the home viewers at home about the contest. (Greg puts a gas pump in the top of the monitor to have her desk filled with gasoline and cleans the "windshield"; during this the contest is announced)
Greg: Heck of a deal. All right, uh, pull thing there, Chief. (removes the gas pump and the Chief starts her "car" and Greg taps the monitor to descend back down) All right. Safe as always.
Chief: (hands Greg his tip) There you go. Keep the change.
Greg: Thank you. Drive safely.
Chief: (turns on her "headlights") You bet.
Greg: (as the Chief drives off) And don't play your radio too loud. You know what happened last time. (the Chief waves goodbye and so does Greg) See ya. (exits the office with the gas pump)

Carmen: You'd better take the gulf on the lam.
Wonder Rat: I am on the lam, Carmen. I've been in 4 countries in the last 8 minutes.
Carmen: I mean the Lam Sea. That's what the local people used to call it, anyway. The sea is officially part of Russia, so you see its modern Russian name on maps. Head for Sakhalin Island.
Wonder Rat: Gee, you'll think I'll run into any of my faithful devoted fans, Carmen?
Carmen: No, they're both in prison, but keep your claws out of the water. The sea is full of crabs.
Wonder Rat: Hey, crabs love me! I'll get a crustacean ovation! (laughs)

(as the Chief, Greg, and the gumshoes travel to Glasgow, Scotland)
Greg: I love drivin' this car, Chief.
Chief: Well, just don't push the ejector seat like you did the last time.

(Wonder Rat tells Diana to go to North America)
Greg: What'd he say?
Diana: We're goin' to North America!
Greg: (laughs) Do it again!
Diana and Greg: (point to the camera) We're goin' to North America!

The Outback Soundtrack Hijack [3.14]

edit

[Kneemoi steals the Aborigines' song lines from Australia]

Chief: And this is Kneemoi, that anti-social alien from Carmen Sandiego's band of baddies.
Rockapella: (singing) Kneemoi
Chief: Her last known whereabouts: Australia. Before the arrival of Europeans, Australia's Aborigines lived in small communal groups which hunted and gathered food. As they traveled from place to place, tribal elders used songs of myth and history as their oral maps. The song lines, called corroboree, are still sung by some present-day Aborigines. Or they were until today when Kneemoi absconded with the songs. She thinks they'd make great disco hits on her home planet Roddenberry. Gumshoes, you got to nail Kneemoi, catch Carmen, and put an end to...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...THE OUTBACK SOUNDTRACK HIJACK!

Come Back With That Kibbutz, Toots [3.15]

edit

[Sarah Nade steals the Degania Kibbutz from northern Israel]

Chief: And this is Sarah Nade, Carmen Sandiego's screeching cyberpunk scofflaw.
Rockapella: (singing) Sarah Nade
Chief: Her last known whereabouts: northern Israel. In 1910, a group of Jews from Russia founded the Degania Kibbutz. A collective farmer owned the property together and worked for the good of the community. As more Jews moved to the area, more kibbutzim, that's the plural of kibbutz, were founded. Today, there are over 200 kibbutzim, home to roughly one in 30 Israelis and Degania is still going strong. Or it was until today when Sarah Nade jammed up the Jordan River. She lifted all the livestock. She pilfered all the produce. She inveigled all the industry. That's right, she keelhauled the whole kibbutz. Gumshoes, you've got to free that farm and factory, and tell Sarah Nade...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...COME BACK WITH THAT KIBBUTZ, TOOTS!

The Glacier Erasure [3.17]

edit

[Vic the Slick steals Perito Moreno Glacier]

Chief: And this is Vic the Slick, Carmen's pocket-picking pinchmeister.
Rockapella: (singing) Vic the Slick
Chief: His last known whereabouts: Patagonia in Southern Argentina. Patagonia's Los Glaciares National Park is home to Moreno Glacier, a 22-mile long, three mile wide sheet of ice up to 200 feet thick. At the front of the glacier, a dramatic cliff rises from the water of Lake Argentina. Huge chunks of ice regularly break off and float away but even so, the glacier is getting bigger with every snowfall. Or it did until today when Vic the Slick hauled it off. He's planning to melt the ice down and make billions on Vic's Patagonian bottled water. Here's your job, gumshoes. Catch Carmen, stop the slick one and undo...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...THE GLACIER ERASURE!

Greg: We made a mistake, Tahare, the last time you were on this show last season. So we've asked you to come back. So good luck to you. Thanks for comin' back. Ladies and gentlemen, Tahare's here.

Carmen: They're after you, Vic. Take the glacier to the last African colony to declare independence from Britain. A small landlocked kingdom in southern Africa.
Vic: Landlocked? This ice is tough haulin' on land, Carmster.
Carmen: Hire some help. Pay them with emalangeni. That's the country's currency. King Mswati III is pictured on the bills.
Vic: Hey, maybe I could sell the king this burg, huh?
Carmen: Can you bargain and speak Swati?
Vic: Eh, no, but good taste is a universal language.
Carmen: Then, you're universally illiterate.

(as the Chief, Greg, and the gumshoes travel to Tianjin, China)
Chief: Uh, Greg, isn't this where we're supposed to meet the ferry?
Greg: Ferry?
Chief: Yeah.
Greg: What ferry?

Rio Rock Wranglers [3.18]

edit

[Double Trouble steal Sugarloaf Mountain]

Chief: And this is Double Trouble, Carmen's diabolical dual of do-badders.
Rockapella: (singing) Double Trouble (Trouble)
Chief: Their last known whereabouts: Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. Next to Rio's Guanabara Bay stands a towering chunk of granite rising 1,300 feet. The Indians who first lived here called the pointy isolated peak, Pot de Sucre, which means pointy isolated peak. Then the Portuguese changed it to Pâo de Açucar, or Sugarloaf. English nanny Henrietta Carstairs was the first European to scale Sugarloaf in 1817. Now hundreds of people a day take a six minute cable car ride to the peak. But no more because today, Double Trouble, engineers of mayhem, rallied through Rio, ripped off the rock, and, well, ran away. Gumshoes, you've got to catch Carmen and rustle up those...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...RIO ROCK WRANGLERS!

Greg: Now, I really do think we're gettin' close to catchin' Double Trouble. All we hafta do is contin--
Mrs. Pumpkinclanger: Oh, you think so, do you?!
Greg: It's my upstairs neighbor, Mrs. Pumpkinclanger. (enters the alley and looks up at Mrs. Pumpkinclanger) Hey, Mrs. P!
Mrs. Pumpkinclanger: "How that red rain hath made the harvest grow", said the poet Lord Byron. He was describing a sight in the center of Belgium, where Napoleon fought his last battle in 1815 and now Double Trouble are a blight on that same sight. Uh, you know, I'm a bit of a poet myself. (shows a book) The stench of crime lies heavy upon us. Like a patient etherised upon a table and alas my downstairs neighbors are a clumsy surgeon and trusted with its cure. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Good-bye. (shuts her window)
Greg: Good-bye. Thank-- Thank you very much. Thanks a lot. By the way, we have copies of her book in the lobby after the show. Okay?

Carmen: If you guys don't move, you'll be in a mountain of trouble.
Double Trouble: Where to, Carmen?
Carmen: Go to the country once known as Mesopotamia. It was one of the first civilizations on earth.
Double Trouble: Well, that was then. What's there now?
Carmen: The country's capital is a big city on both banks of the Tigris River. It's also the center of industry and transportation. They're reconstructing after the damage from the Gulf War.
Double Trouble: We're there, boss! Let's rock the Cradle of civilization!

(as the Chief, Greg, and the gumshoes travel to Ulan Bator, Mongolia)
Chief: This thing is sorta drafty, Greg. Can you close the window?
Greg: No windows, Chief. This is the economy model.

The Grand Trunk Punk [3.19]

edit

[Grunge steals the Grand Trunk Road]

Chief: And this is Top Grunge, Carmen Sandiego's marauding mud-faced mechanic.
Rockapella: (singing) Top Grunge
Chief: His last known whereabouts: northern India. The 1,700 mile-long Grand Trunk Road cuts across northern India from Pakistan to Calcutta. The route was probably first used in 1500 BC by invading armies from the north. Its narrow lanes have been in heavy use ever since. Even now it's India's most important road, trucks, buses, passenger cars, ox carts, camel caravans, and herds of cattle, plus yearly floods and muds make it a famously wild ride. Or it was until today when that skanky smelling cyclist Top Grunge rolled the road up and whisked it away. Gumshoes, it's your job to get it back, catch Carmen Sandiego, and stop...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief ...THE GRAND TRUNK PUNK!

(as the Chief, Greg, and the gumshoes travel to Cape Cod, Massachusetts)
Chief: Hey, nice boat, Greg.
Greg: Yep, all the comforts of home.

Rockapella: (when Grunge is revealed; in a grungy voice) Top Grunnnnnnnnnnnge!
Greg: Yeah!
Rockapella: Movin' on! (sings their fanfare; as Earl is about to leave his podium, when the confetti starts falling)
Greg: No, wait! (Earl heads back to his podium) Okay, yeah. Good. Okay. Now come here. Oh, we're very serious about our confetti, sir.

The Bee-Bird Burglary [3.20]

edit

[Kneemoi steals the bee hummingbirds from Cuba]

Chief: And this is Kneemoi, Carmen Sandiego's antisocial extraterrestrial ectoplasm.
Rockapella: (singing) Kneemoi
Chief: Her last known whereabouts: Cuba. This island nation is home to the world's smallest bird, the bee hummingbird. These dinky guys are only about two inches long from bill to tail, and weigh less than a penny. They lay half the size of jelly beans. Bee hummers can flap their wings about 80 times per second. They're so small and fast that even bird experts often mistake them for insects. The bee hummingbird is only found in Cuba. Or it was until today when Kneemoi cruised into Cuba with a bright idea. Disguised as a flower, she tempted the hummers, then hauled them off. She plans to turn them into the Roddenberrian Tabernacle Choir. Gumshoes, you got to grab that flying felon, catch Carmen, and undo...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...THE BEE-BIRD BURGLARY!

Angkor's Away [3.21]

edit

[Vic the Slick steals Angkor Wat from Cambodia]

Chief: And this is Vic the Slick, Carmen Sandiego's breezy markie of sleaze.
Rockapella: (singing) Vic the Slick
Chief: His last known whereabouts: Cambodia. Deep in the Cambodian jungle lie the breathtaking ruins of Angkor Wat. This vast temple complex was begun in the 9th century AD and finished in the 13th. At first, it was a shrine to Hindu gods Vishnu, Krishna, and Rama. When the Cambodian royalty converted from Hinduism to Buddhism, Buddha became a new star in the statuary. Abandoned for centuries, Angkor Wat was rediscovered in the 1860s and it's now being restored. Or it was until today when Vic the Slick stole the temples of Angkor Wat and spirited them off. Gumshoes, you've got to capture Carmen and vanquish Vic because...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...ANGKOR'S AWAY!

Haul the Hollerin' Home [3.22]

edit

[Sarah Nade steals the National Hollerin' Contest from North Carolina.]

Chief: And this is Sarah Nade, Carmen Sandiego's raucous rock and roll robber.
Rockapella: (singing) Sarah Nade
Chief: Her last known whereabouts: North Carolina. People don't holler much anymore, but in the era before telephones, farmers communicated with their distant neighbors by hollering like this: (hollering) There were trouble hollers, greeting hollers, good time hollers, oh, you name it. Now, every year the small North Carolina town of Spivey's Corner hosts the National Hollerin' Contest. People from all over compete in this almost lost art. Or they did until today when Sarah Nade skated into Spivey's Corner, dug the den, then heisted every holler. Gumshoes, you've got a job to do. Subdue Sarah Nade and HAUL THE HOLLERIN' HOME!

Brazilian Lingo Sting [3.23]

edit

[Kneemoi steals the Portuguese language.]

Chief: And this is Kneemoi, Carmen Sandiego's pilfering pebble of extra planetary protoplasm.
Rockapella: (singing) Kneemoi
Chief: Her last known wherabouts: Brazil. (speaking Spanish while subtitles are showing, "In most South American countries, people speak Spanish. But in Brazil the biggest and most populated country in the continent, people speak Portuguese. Why?") Because Brazil used to be a Portuguese colony. But in the 180 years since independence, Brazil's language has changed. Just as American English sounds different from British English, Brazilian Portuguese has its own character. Or it did until today when Kneemoi tapped the brainwaves of every Brazilian and stole the Portuguese language. The words, the grammar, the songs, the sound, all are gone. Your mission, gumshoes: nab Kneemoi, and stop the...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...BRAZILIAN LINGO STING!

(Greg enters the office where she is having brain surgery and Barry is dressed as a brain surgeon)
Greg: Hi, Chief.
Chief: Oh, hi, Greg.
Greg: What is going on?
Chief: Well, Greg, I know so much, my memory is full. So, I'm having some old memories removed from my brian to make room for new ones. (Barry pulls out ballet shoes) Oh, I remember 4th grade ballet. I hated ballet. Toss 'em. (Barry puts them in a memories box) Oh, my. My mind feels less cluttered already. Oh. Oh, I remember Pinch my Parakeet from 11th grade. Oh, keep him. (Pinch flies off)
Greg: Chief, your, uh-- Your bird just, uh, flew out the window.
Chief: What bird?
Greg: Forget it.
Chief: Uh, Greg?
Greg: Yeah.
Chief: I wanted to tell viewers something. Uh, oh.
Barry: Oh, I must've already removed that memory.
Greg: What? Oh.
Barry: Check the discarded bin please.
Greg: Oh, yeah. Sure. I'll do it. (searches through the bin)
Chief: Something I wanted to say.
Greg: (pulls out a card with the ACME logo on it) Uh, I think this is it, Chief. (does the contest rules)
Chief: Congratulations to the winners.
Greg: (pulls out an album with Mr. Rogers on it) Chief, a Mister Rogers album? (laughs)
Chief: Oh, Greg, give me that. (snatches the album) Oh, I think it's time you got back to the investigation.
Greg: Okay, Chief. (laughs as he exits the office)
Chief: Here, put that back. (Barry puts the album back in her brain and she sings a brief line of "Won't You Be My Neighbor?") It's a wonderful day in the neighborhood. A beautiful day in the neighbor. Would you be mine? Could you be mine?
Greg: Thanks for the memories. The nights we spend in Rome. (humming) We thank you so good. Pretty nice. Good fine. Well-- I don't-- I don't-- I don't have a partner. (Rockapella leaves) Phone Tap!

Carmen: Kneemoi, head for a southeast Asian country where most people practice a very traditional form of Buddhism.
Kneemoi: Buddhism? Is that different from Shuism?
Carmen: Kneemoi, it's a religion. Centered on the 37 Nats. Mythical figures who each have a story. Believers honor the Nats and give offerings. Sort of the Buddhist version of Catholic saints.
Kneemoi: On my planet, we honor plumbing devices.

(as the Chief, Greg, and the gumshoes travel to Richmond, Virginia)
Chief: Greg, are you sure you could drive this thing?
Greg: No problem, Chief, a chimp could do this.

Greg: Agecroft Hall. (Shoeprints are revealed)
Rockapella: Nothing!
Greg: Thank you!
Rockapella: Don't mention it! (Greg laughs)

Now Museum, Now You Don't [3.24]

edit

[Wonder Rat steals the Frida Kahlo museum from Mexico City, Mexico.]

Chief: And this is Wonder Rat, Carmen's rabble-rousing rodent.
Rockapella: (singing) Wonder Rat
Chief: His last known whereabouts: La Cuidad de Mèxico. On a quiet corner in the Coyoacan section of Mexico City stands a bright blue house, the home were Frida Kahlo was born. Some critics call her one of this century's greatest painters. The house is now the Frida Kahlo museum where you'll find the largest collection of her work, mostly stunning self-portraits that reflect her troubles and her intense pride and nationality and family. But today, Wonder Rat crept into Coyoacan and hatched an evil plan. With the help of a cheesy beast of burden, he hitched up the museum and hauled it off. He plans to use it to showcase his own cheesy self-portrait. Gumshoes, here's today's case.
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: NOW MUSEUM, NOW YOU DON'T!

Lowland Lowlife [3.25]

edit

[Top Grunge steals the Eastern Lowland gorillas from Zaire.]

Chief: And this is Top Grunge, Carmen's bad biker burglar who grooms with chain grease.
Rockapella: (singing) Top Grunge
Chief: His last known whereabouts: Zaire, home of the Eastern Lowland gorilla. These gentle quiet animals have only one real enemy: people. In past years, people hunted them as trophies, and now people are cutting down the forest to make room for houses and farmland. The gorillas are being forced from their jungle home and right to the edge of extinction, and today their problems just got worse. Top Grunge, that slimy primate, zapped into Zaire, and glommed every gorilla. He wants a gang that's hairier than he is. Gumshoes, you got to stop him, corral Carmen and bring in that...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...LOWLAND LOWLIFE!

Yosemite Calamity [3.26]

edit

[Eartha Brute steals El Capitan from Yosemite, California]

Chief: And this is Eartha Brute, Carmen Sandiego's glowering tower of dollar power.
Rockapella: (singing) Eartha Brute, huh
Chief: Her last known whereabouts: Yosemite National Park. El Capitan, the world's largest bear granite cliff, rises 3,600 feet into the air. It was formed by glaciers that covered Yosemite two to three million years ago. In 1864, Abraham Lincoln made Yosemite the USA's first protected park. El Capitan has inspired many since then, including photographic genius Ansel Adams for whom it was a favorite subject. But there was yowling in Yosemite today when Eartha Brute, that big galoot, repelled down El Capitan, then lugged it away. You've got to bust that repellant repeller, gumshoes. It's up to you to solve...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...YOSEMTIE CALAMITY!

The Hope Elopement [3.27]

edit

[Patty Larceny steals the Hope Diamond.]

Chief: And this is Patty Larceny, Carmen Sandiego's heinous, brainous teenage terror.
Rockapella: (singing) P-P-P-Patty
Chief: Her last known whereabouts: Washington, D.C. The Hope Diamond may be the world's most famous jewel. Named for the English family who owned it from 1830 until 1901, the flawless blue stone weighs 45.5 karats. Huh, that's big. Superstition says that anyone who touches the Hope Diamond will die, and to that I say, "Of course they will because everybody dies eventually." Well, anyway. In 1958, the Hope's last owner donated it to the Smithsonian, where it's been on display ever since. Until today, that is, when pernicious Patty, with teenage dreams of glamour in her brainy head, sidled into the Smithsonian, heisted the Hope, and sashayed away with it. Who says dreams can't come true? We do. Gumshoes, you've got to grab that girl and catch Carmen, and stop...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Carmen: ...THE HOPE ELOPEMENT!

Patty: I used to be a sweet innocent schoolgirl. Now I'm a sweet guilty schoolgirl and it's all Carmen's fault! Go look for her in South America.

The Bollywood Shuffle [3.28]

edit

[Double Trouble steal the R.K. Movie Studio.]

Chief: And this is Double Trouble, Carmen Sandigo's partying pair of pilfers.
Rockapella: (singing) Double Trouble (Trouble)
Chief: Their last known whereabouts: Bombay, India's moviemaking Mecca. Bombay cranks out six to eight hundred films a year, three times as many as Hollywood. That's why some call Bombay Bollywood. R.K. Movie Studio, one of Bombay's biggest, makes films called Masala movies. Fantasies that combine action, romance, comedy, and hit songs. Many people in India are too poor to own a TV, but most can scrape together eight rupees to see a film. Or they could until today when Double Trouble boogied into Bombay and stole the studio, the lights, the camera, the action, they're all gone. Gumshoes, you've got a job to do. Bust those twin twits and stop...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief ...THE BOLLYWOOD SHUFFLE!

Carmen: Boys, those ACME goons are on to us. Where've you been?
Double Trouble: Well, now, chill out, Carmen. We took the studio starlets ice skating in West Africa.
Carmen: Ice? In West Africa? Who do you think you're kidding?
Double Trouble: Not you, boss lady. We're at the Hotel Ivoire in Abidjan. Home of West Africa's first ice rink.
Carmen: Abidjan? That's just 5 degrees north of the Equator.
Double Trouble: Yep. Ain't modern refrigeration amazing? Listen, Carmen. We'll shake ACME as soon as we practice our Triple Sow Cow.

(as the Chief, Greg, and the gumshoes travel to El Paso, Texas)
Chief: Watch the altitude, Greg. The air gets thinner up high.
Greg: Don't worry, Chief, this is a pressurized basket.

Greg: Hello?
Neil Patrick Harris: Greg?
Greg: Yeah?
Neil: This is your doctor.
Greg: Yeah.
Neil: I got your letter about your little problem.
Greg: Well, I don't think I want you to talk about that on national--
Neil: No, No, there's nothing to be ashamed of, Greg. Lots of people drool in their sleep.
Greg: Oh, yeah.
Neil: All I suggest is, uh, sleep in a raincoat or put a spittoon by your bed.
Greg: Well, I think that's kinda silly.
Neil: And hey, hey, you're in good company, Greg. Plenty of celebrities drool.
Greg: Like who?
Neil: Lassie, Mr. Ed, Scooby Doo.
Greg: Yeah.
Neil: Benji.
Greg: Benji? (hangs up the phone) I had no idea what he was talkin' about. All of that was completely made up. What we're waiting for now is a call from Carmen Sandiego. (the phone rings again) There. This must be her. Yes? Thank you for callin'. (hands Folake the phone) It's for you.
Folake: Hello? (Double Trouble tell Folake to go to North America)

The Cheese Steak Brute Quake [3.29]

edit

[Eartha Brute steals Philadelphia, Pennsylvania's Cheesesteaks.]

Chief: And this is Eartha Brute, Carmen Sandiego's darling of devious deltoid devastation.
Rockapella: (singing) Eartha Brute, huh
Chief: Her last known whereabouts: Philadelphia, PA, home of the world-renowned cheesesteak. These tasty fast-ordered delicacies are made by filling a soft hoagie roll with fried strips of thinly sliced beefsteak and topping it with melted cheese. Oh. Oh, that looks good. Personally, I like mine with extra, extra, extra, extra onions. Now, sure you can get them in other towns but take it from me, cheesesteaks taste better when you eat them in Philly, period. Or they did until today when Eartha Brute bibbed up then bopped off with all the cheesesteak in town, stopped her before she eats the whole haul for breakfast. Gumshoes, it's your job to solve...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...THE CHEESE STEAK BRUTE QUAKE!

Greg: For our next clue, we turn to our agent from ACME kindly dear old granny net. Hit it, Nana Rap!
Nana Rap: Thanks, sonny. Let's rock the house! (echoes 4 times and rock music plays)
Eartha's styling east with the Philly Steaks
To the biggest city in the smallest state.
In the 1630s, this town was formed,
So religious freedom could be the norm.
The Moshassuck River is where it set.
River number 2 is the Woonasquatucket.
Well, I'm droppin' Science, Greggie dear.
Check you later.
I'm outta here!
'Cause I'm the Nana! (echoes) Nana!
Greg: Nana Rap, ladies and gentlemen! Let's hear it for her please.

Carmen: Eartha, I'm sending you to Lilongwe, an African capital. But first, get some new clothes.
Eartha: But, Carmen. I like what I'm wearing. It shows my muscles.
Carmen: Well, this is a very modest country. Women can't wear shorts or pants. They're against the law.
Eartha: Oh, sure. And the guys get to wear what they want?
Carmen: Nope. Long hair that touches the collar is against the law. So are bell bottom trousers.
Eartha: Gee. Then I guess I gotta go shopping. There just isn't much selection in the size 82 petite, you know.

(as the Chief, Greg, and the gumshoes travel to Stockholm, Sweden)
Chief: Greg, do we really need all these wagons?
Greg: I had to make sure we brought enough snack food along, Chief. Want a pretzel?

Greg: Nobel Library. (Shoeprints are revealed)
Rockapella: Shh!

Rockapella: (each time the Cheesesteaks are revealed in the 2nd round)
Heisted hoagies!
Fallen hero!
Phil-a-delphia cheesesteak! (sung to Elton John's Philadelphia Freedom)
Grounded grinder!
Go, Caitlin!
Go, Devon!
The Loot!

Heavy Medal Meddler [3.30]

edit

[Sarah Nade steals the Chinese Olympic medals.]

Chief: And this is Sarah Nade, Carmen's pointy-haired princess of punk.
Rockapella: (singing) Sarah Nade
Chief: Her last known whereabouts: China. Mao Zedong wasn't wild about competition, so it wasn't until 1984 that Communist China sponsored an Olympic team. That year, they won 32 medals and they've been improving ever since. Many of China's medals were won by women who excelled in sports like volleyball and diving. Now more than one in five people on earth are Chinese, so there'd seem to be no limit to China's Olympic potential. Or at least, there wasn't until today when Sarah Nade rolled into China, pinned every last Chinese Olympic medal to her ears, and rollerbooted for the borderline. Gumshoes, you'd better catch Carmen and grab that HEAVY MEDAL MEDDLER!

Unfair Exchange (Stock Shock) [3.31]

edit

[Wonder Rat steals Mongolia's Stock Market.]

Chief: And this is Wonder Rat, Carmen Sandiego's self-promoting stuperhero.
Rockapella: (singing) Wonder Rat
Chief: His last known whereabouts: Ulan Bator, Mongolia. In 1990, Mongolia ditched Communism. The job of turning government enterprises into private businesses went to a group of young economists headed by a 27-year-old named Naidansurengiin Zoljargel. They opened a stock market. Every citizen got vouchers to buy stock in former state-run businesses. The trick was: to size up a business before buying. Would it do well or would it go bust, hmm? Ha, welcome to the wacky world of capitalism. It's not perfect, but it works. Or it did until today when Wonder Rat oozed into Ulan Bator and scooted with the stock market. Gumshoes, you got to catch Carmen and her craven critter and stop the...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...UNFAIR EXCHANGE or STOCK SHOCK!

Rockapella: It's a Video-Music Clue,... Greg!

Chief: Here's a list of places Carmen may have traveled.
Greg: Chief, wait a minute. Hey, hey. That doesn't happen now. You're completely way too early. What are you doin'?
Chief: Well-- Well, you're right, Greg.
Greg: Yeah.
Chief: I was just going by this schedule.
Greg: Well, your schedule is wrong then, Chief. All right? (lightning flashes a second time) Wait a minute! It's not time for the Lightning Round! Just excuse me just one moment, guys. We got a real scheduling problem. I'll try to straighten this out. Be right back. (enters the office)
Chief: All these people want to know...!
Greg: CHIEF! Please! You already did that part! Please.
Chief: I thought something didn't feel quite right.
Greg: Exactly.
Rockapella: Ooooooooooooooooooooh...!
(Barry and Sean run in, dressed as a safari hunter and gorilla, respectively, when Greg stops them and the music)
Greg: Hey, guys! WHOA-WHOA! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Listen! It's not time for the Chase! Okay?! I'm sorry!
(Sean removes his gorilla mask and looks at a piece of paper)
Sean: According to my schedule, it's time for the Chase.
Greg: (takes the schedule) This is not a schedule. This is a discarded piece of paper from the producers.
Chief: You're right. Sorry, boys. Back to the alley.
Greg: Sorry. Sorry. (Barry and Sean both exit the office) Listen, Chief, we're gonna have to do this thing for memory. Okay? Uh, okay, guys, (does the contest rules with the Chief)
Chief: Then, we congratulate the winners.
Greg: Right.
Greg and the Chief: Do it, Rockapella!
Chief: No, that's not it. It's got--
Greg: Hold it. No. See, you gotta-- You're still on this.
Chief: Oh.
Greg: Okay.
Greg and the Chief: Congratulations.
(Greg laughs)
Chief: Great.
Greg: Phew.
Chief: Now, we can go on with the show. (the show stops showing all of a sudden followed by static clouding as the screen becomes clearer, showing Greg out of the Chief's Office and looking at the new schedule)
Greg: Okay, I have an updated schedule, and it's, uh, Phone Tap.

Wonder Rat: Carmen, this is a real bull market.
Carmen: ACME is bearing down on you. Take the stock market to Canada and deep six it in a bay that borders Michigan and the province of Ontario.
Wonder Rat: Can I sell shares on the shores?
Carmen: No, you have to lay low. Hide out in a town named after the bay. You can't miss it. It's the largest port on Lake Superior.
Wonder Rat: Lake Superior? Great. A body of water whose name reflects my marvelous character. (giggles)
Carmen: No, that would be Lake Dolt.
Wonder Rat: D'oh.

Greg: You know, I feel the blues coming on.
Rockapella: Greg, we need you.
Greg, we need you.
Oh, yes, we do.
Greg: Look for that rat-faced
boy in a city
Where Bessie Smith sang
the blues so pretty.
He's a filthy rodent.
Big and blue.
Rockapella: Big and blue.
Greg: All right.
Bessie sang like
no one before.
She made the blues popular from
shore to shore.
Stick that stinkin' rat face
in a zoo.
Rockapella: In a zoo.
Greg: C'mon, boys.
This southeastern Tennessee town's name
might just suit you,
if ya sing about a...
A famous Choo-Choo!
Bust that filthy rodent...
If you do.
All: If you do.
If you do!
(applause)
Greg: (shakes the hands of the watching crowd) Oh, yeah! Thanks a lot!
Rockapella: Greg, go away.
Greg, go away.
You go away.
Greg: Good to see ya, guys. How are ya? Nice. Thanks for comin' out tonight, you guys. Hey, remember your waiters tonight, everybody. Thank you. One more time, let's give it up to the best vocal band in America! Rockapella, ladies and gentlemen! (applause)

(as the Chief, Greg, and the gumshoes travel to St. Louis, Missouri)
Greg: I think the alignment is a little off on this car, Chief.
Chief: Uh, just a hunch, Greg, but maybe it's the road.

Greg: Eads Bridge. (Shoeprints are revealed)
Rockapella: Nothing!
Greg: Thank you!
Rockapella: Save it! (Greg laughs)

Greg: Hello?
Joe Biden: Greg, Senator Joe Biden here.
Greg: Oh, hey, Senator.
Joe: I just wanted to let you know that I proposed a Congressional resolution naming you "The Best Detective of the Year".
Greg: Why thank you, sir.
Joe: But some people were more comfortable with "Best Detective of the Month".
Greg: Uh-huh.
Joe: And a few preferred "Best Detective of the Work Week". Then someone suggested "best" is an awfully strong word, so we decided to name you "The Somewhat Notable Detective of the Next 12 Minutes". Congratulations, Greg.
Greg: Thank you very much, sir. Thank you. Good-bye! Thank you. (hangs up phone and talks to Sharee) Can you believe that? Can you believe that? (phone rings again) Oh, hold on a second. (answers phone again) Yes? Yeah, she's right here. This one's for you. (hands phone to Sharee)
Sharee: Hello? (Wonder Rat tells Sharee to go to Asia)

Chief: This is Lynne Thigpen for Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?, and remember: ACME Gumshoes top all others, and we always phone our mothers.

The Slick Ship Ripoff [3.32]

edit

[Vic the Slick steals the Gdansk Shipyard.]

Chief: And this is Vic the Slick, that clown who spells class with a capital K.
Rockapella: (singing) Vic the Slick
Chief: His last known whereabouts: Gdansk, Poland. In 1980, Lech Walęsa led workers at a Gdansk shipyard at a braid strike against Poland's Communist government. They called their union, "Solidarity." The government banned Solidarity but you know what happened. Communism fell in Poland and Lech Walęsa became president. The shipyard in Gdansk is still running, located on one of Poland's busiest ports. Or it was until today when Vic the Slick floated into Gdansk, wielded his welder and heavy-duty tin snips, and then shipped out with the shipyard. Gumshoes, the Polish people are depending on you. Get back the shipyard and close the book on today's caper...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...THE SLICK SHIP RIPOFF!

(as the Chief, Greg, and the gumshoes travel to Zambia)
Greg: Chief, I love these little cars! Where'd ya get 'em?
Chief: Oh, ACME Wet Muffler-Net sent them over.

Rockapella: (each time the Gdansk Shipyard is revealed)
Ship sham!
Yanked yards!
Anchors Aweigh, my boy! (Theme song of the U.S. Navy)
Gdone Gdansk!

Chip & Disk's Rescue Rangers [3.33]

edit

[Kneemoi steals Mombasa, Kenya's computer memory.]

Chief: And this is Kneemoi. There's a posse on every planet pursuing this perpetrator.
Rockapella: (singing) Kneemoi
Chief: Her last known whereabouts: Mombasa, Kenya's second largest city. The deep calm waters of Mombasa's harbor have attracted shipping for centuries, and shipping means big business. What do Mombasa's corporation count on for communications, calculations, and commerce? Computers, of course. But computers aren't much without their memories and that's what's missing in Mombasa. Today, Kneemoi mamboed into Mombasa, disguised herself as a computer virus, and infected every motherboard, every other board, every chip and disk. The memories gone from every computer in Mombasa. Gumshoes, you've got to become...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...CHIP & DISK'S RESCUE RANGERS!

Greg: So we'll get started with our very first clue, which come to us from ACME Tonight-Net agent Jay Leno. Jay.
Jay: Hey, gumshoes. Kneemoi is on an island in the Indian Ocean, east of Madagascar. You know who used to live there? Uh, dodo birds. Big headed, waddling, flightless guys that kinda look like huge distorted pigeons. You won't get the scoop on Kneemoi from the dodos though. They've been extinct for about 320 years. So you're gonna have to snag her yourself.
Greg: Thanks, Jay.

(as the Chief, Greg, and the gumshoes travel to Lagos, Nigeria)
Greg: Buckle up, Chief. This thing's pretty fast.
Chief: I can't buckle up, Greg. I'm digital.

Greg: Queen's College. (Shoeprints are revealed)
Rockapella: Nothing!
Greg: Thank you!
Rockapella: No problemo! (Greg laughs)

Greg: Federal Palace Hotel. (Shoeprints are revealed)
Rockapella: Nothing!
Greg: Thank you!
Rockapella: It's a livin'! (Greg laughs)

Badwoman Steals Goodman [3.34]

edit

[Patty Larceny steals the Goodman Theatre.]

Chief: And this is Patty Larceny, Carmen Sandiego's sweet and sneaky schoolgirl.
Rockapella: (singing) P-P-P-Patty
Chief: Her last known whereabouts: Chicago, Illinois. You might think American theater starts and ends at Broadway, but there are professional theaters all over the country. Chicago's Goodman Theater is one of the best. That's why actors like Brian Dennehy and Kathleen Turner perform there alongside the Goodman's resident company. The Goodman has presented live drama, comedy, and musicals since 1925. Or it did until today when Patty Larceny showed up armed with an autographed book and a bouquet. She took center stage and rocked the place to tears, then she mopped it off and vanished into thin air. Gumshoes, you've got to close this case...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...BADWOMAN STEALS GOODMAN!

Eggman: EGGMAN!! YEAH!
Audience: (sleeps)
Greg: Come on, you guys! Come on! The Eggman!
Audience: (applauds)

Carmen: Come on. Answer. ACME's closing in!
Patty: (on answering machine) Hi. This is Patty. I can't come to the phone right now. Leave a message and if I can fit you into my busy schedule, I'll get back to you. (machine beeps)
Carmen: Guess who, twinkletoes? If you don't scram, I'll be leaving messages with your warden. Take the theatre to a capital on the Danube River. The nightlife there has been buzzing since the fall of Communism. Restaurants, cafes, and theatres are all crowded with people. There's even a Pah shopping street nicknamed the Fifth Avenue of eastern Europe. And one more thing, I really hate answering machines. (machine beeps and Carmen hangs up the phone)

(the Chief sings "The Wheels on the Bus" as she, Greg, and the gumshoes travel to Wuhan, China)
Chief: And the wheels on the bus go round and round. Round and round. Round and round. Around--
Greg: Chief. Chief. Chief, I've always hated that song.

Rockapella: (each time the Goodman Theatre is revealed)
Thievin' theatre!
Pilfered persinium!
Another openin'! (a la Ethel Merman)
Stage handled!

Tattoo Snafu [3.35]

edit

[Kneemoi steals Borneo's tattoos]

Chief: And this is Kneemoi, Carmen Sandiego's spaced out space fund.
Rockapella: (singing) Kneemoi
Chief: Her last known whereabouts: Borneo, the world's third largest island. All societies have their own art forms and Borneo's Kayan, Kenyah, and Iban peoples are no exception. They practice the art of tattooing for generations. That's right, tattoos are not something your older sister thought up to scare your mom. They date back thousands of years to hundreds of different cultures. Not all of Borneo's people wear tattoos, but those who do take pride in their skin art. Or they did until today when Kneemoi skinned the tattoos away without a trace. She thinks they'd make great road maps on her home planet Roddenberry. Gumshoes, you've got to nail Kneemoi, catch Carmen, and stop...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...the TATTOO SNAFU!

Carmen: Kneemoi, take the tattoos to another rainforest in an African country on the equator. Many people there believe in magic.
Kneemoi: Ah, yes. Even we aliens admired his basketball prowess.
Carmen: Not Magic Johnson. Magic. You know, people turning into animals, that sort of thing. Lots of citizens follow a religion called Bwiti. It combines some Catholic rituals brought by French settlers with the magical belief of the original people.
Kneemoi: Where should I hide out?
Carmen: Go to Libreville on the Atlantic coast until the pressure's off.
Kneemoi: Okay, boss. Remember, keep your sleeves bon shiny.

Greg: (as he, the Chief, and the gumshoes prepare for departure to the Mississippi River) Okay, guys, uh, remember, it's time for us now to go the Mississippi River. We're gonna try to find Kneemoi and the tattoos. You guys all ready to go?
Erin: Yeah.
Allison: Yep.
Chief: Uh, Greg? I got some information for us.
Greg: Yeah, Chief?
Chief: Time for us to get a move on!
Greg: Okay. We're goin' (shakes the screen as he holds it upside-down) Something is definitely the matter with this. Okay.
Erin: Want me to take your hat?
Greg: If you would take the hat please, and if you go out this way. I'll be-- You guys have a shoetree 'cause I forgot to pack mine. I wanna just make sure. I could borrow yours then? Great. (while traveling) Carmen can't outrun us while we're in this, Chief.
Chief: Yeah, but she'll probably see us coming.

Kneemoi: Oh, another planet, another prison cell. Maybe I could spend my sentence getting to know Carmen better. Look for her in Europe.

The Deer Disappear [3.36]

edit

[Vic the Slick steals the Nara Deer.]

Chief: And this is Vic the Slick, Carmen Sandiego's mealy-mouthed mustachioed marauder.
Rockapella (singing) Vic the Slick
Chief: His last known whereabouts: Nara, Japan, the nation's first permanent capital from 710 to 784 A.D. Nowadays, the city's famous for Nara Park and the 1,000 rare shika deer that wander its grounds. They're tame and extremely popular with park visitors. Some members of the Shinto religion even considered them Divine Spirit Messengers. But yesterday, the hooved hot shots involuntarily vacated the premises, when that sauntering decanter of banter Vic the Slick tiptoed into the park, unleashed his lasso and departed with the deer. He's thinking of selling them to Santa as a 2nd string team. Gumshoes, you've got to catch Carmen and stop that creep who made...
Rockapella (singing): Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...THE DEER DISAPPEAR!

ABCee Ya Later [3.37]

edit

[Wonder Rat steals the Australian Broadcasting Corporation]

Chief: And this is Wonder Rat, that self-glorifying snout-faced nibbler who works for Camren Sandiego.
Rockapella: (singing) Wonder Rat
Chief: His last known whereabouts: the Australian Airwaves. Times are tough for Australian television. Recently, all three of the country's commercial TV networks declared bankruptcy, but one network is doing well: ABC, the Australian Broadcasting Corporation. It's a government funded public network. Once regarded as a stodgy producer of science and news programs, ABC has become a crowd-pleaser. Or it had until today when Wonder Rat, with the help of his hired hopping hooligans, purloined the programming from ABC. While his ruse reconnoitered, the rat remained. Gumshoes, you got to catch Carmen, rope the rat, and solve today's case...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...ABCee YA LATER!

William Ragsdale: (hears the sound of a stampede) Remember the ACME Triangle of Excellence, Gumshoes: (forms the Triangle with his hands) Vigilance, Dedication, Courage!

Chief: Here's a list of places Carmen may have traveled.
Greg: Chief, what are you doin'? You are completely off. That is not the right thing. It's not time for that!
Chief: Well-- Well, you're right Greg. I was just going by this schedule.
Greg: Well, then, your schedule is wrong, Chief. I'm sorry. (lightning flashes a second time) Excuse me! We-- We already had the Lightning Round! Listen, guys. We're havin' some kinda scheduling problem. I'm sorry. Lemme go try to work this out. I'll be right back.
(the rest of the office sketch is the same as in "Unfair Exchange")

Carmen: I think ACME's ready to spring a trap on you.
Wonder Rat: Geez, I'd better stop... (sniffs) ...sniffin' around here, then.
Carmen: Take the network to a Spanish town on the Mediterranean Sea. It's where artist Pablo Picasso was born. You can hole up in the Gibralfaro, an ancient Moorish castle.
Wonder Rat: Gee, that's great! A TV network, a castle? Hoo-hoo! I'm travelin' in style! I wanna be as famous as Michael Jackson. Hee.
Carmen: You're gonna be as busted as Michael Milton if you don't move your tail.

Chief: Greg?
Greg: Yes?
Chief: There's mustard on your sleeve.
Greg: No kidding. (rubs his sleeve) Oh, gee. Sorry about that. I'll take care of that later on. Okay, thanks, Chief.

(as the Chief, Greg, and the gumshoes travel to Indianapolis, Indiana)
Chief: Greg, didn't I tell you to get this road flattened?
Greg: Sorry, Chief. I've been busy trainin' Gumshoes.

Greg: (before the Jailtime Challenge) You guys were tied at the end of the last round. We flipped a coin. Antonio, you won that toin coss. Toin coss? That cossed toin. You won. (laughter) You're gonna go first. Go ahead.

Rockapella: (each time Shoeprints are revealed) Near Scott's house!
1 mile from Scott's house!
Scott: (on his own) 1 mile from my house!

Rockapella: (each time the Australian Broadcasting Corporation is revealed)
Netted network!
Pilfered primetime!
Aussie lossie!
Plunder down under!
No show!
Don't touch that dial!
Go, Antonio!

Rockapella: (when Antonio wins the 2nd round) Wonder Rat! TOUCHÉ!

Rude Robot's Reckless, Ridiculous Rocket Ripoff [3.38]

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[Robocrook steals Kazakhstan's Baikonur Cosmodrome.]

Chief: And this is Robocrook, Carmen Sandiego's silvery cylinder of slyness.
Rockapella: (singing) Robocrook
Chief: His last known whereabouts: Kazakhstan. The Baikonur Cosmodrome is the huge complex where Soviet rockets were built and launched. Yuri Gagarin, the first man in space, blasted off from Baikonur in 1961. Over time, the cosmodrome sent up over 800 rockets. The countries of the former U.S.S.R. want to continue their space program, but they're searching for a partner to share the program's expense. That search was interrupted today when Robocrook boosted Baikonur and blasted off. Gumshoes, you got to capture Carmen, recoup the cosmodrome, and derail that...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...RUDE ROBOT'S RECKLESS, RIDICULOUS ROCKET RIPOFF!

Greg: (about the Clue-Fish) I gotta get rid of the fish here. (to the audience) You guys want me to... You want me to save it, or d'you want me to fry it?
Audience: (chant) FRY IT! FRY IT! FRY IT! FRY IT!
Greg: Oh, no-no-no, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, Hey! Hey! Hey! He's my buddy! I'm gonna save him! C'mon! (he throws the fish into the water) Sorry about that, audience!

Carmen: Go to an ocean community off Africa's northwest coast. It's made up of 13 islands.
Robo: Which one is my destination?
Carmen: Try Gomera. The locals sometimes speak a whistle language called Silbo. You know how to speak Silbo, don't you?
Robo: Sure. Just put your lips together, and blow.
Carmen: Gomera was the last place Columbus visited before leaving for the New World. Legend says he was delayed because he fell in love.
Robo: You humans are hopelessly romantic.
Carmen: At least we don't rust when it rains.

(as the Chief, Greg, and the gumshoes travel to Brasília, Brazil)
Chief: Boy, this is the way to travel, eh, Greg?
Greg: You said, Chief. Hey, pass the complimentary mixed nuts, huh?

Tivoli Misery [3.39]

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[Eartha Brute steals Tivoli Park.]

Chief: And this is Eartha Brute, that brainless bruiser from Carmen's barge full of burglars.
Rockapella: (singing) Eartha Brute, huh
Chief: Her last known whereabouts: Copenhagen, Denmark. Ah, Copenhagen's Tivoli Park at night, oh, the lights thousands in every color, and the music, there's a classical concert hall, a downstairs jazz club, an oriental theater, and the food, more than 25 restaurants serving everything from traditional Danish cuisine to quick snacks. I love the place, and I am livid because today, Eartha Brute, cruising through Copenhagen, trucked into Tivoli. The brass bands, bumper cars, and bright lights all beckoned to her so she burgled the whole batch. Gumshoes, you've got to relieve this...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...TIVOLI MISERY!

Carmen: Eartha, those ACME agents are closing in. Head for a historical city in Japan.
Eartha: (gasps) A hysterical city, Carmen?! Why are they so upset?
Carmen: I said historical city, Eartha! No one's upset! There are hundreds of shrines there and millions of Japanese tourists visit every year.
Eartha: Jeez, they come all the way from Japan? That place must be really special.
Carmen: Earth to Eartha! This place is in Japan! Now, just get going to Honshū Island.
Eartha: Carmen, have you been under a lot of stress lately?
Carmen: Just get going!

Chief: (at the end of the 1st round) Uh, big problems here, Greg. Uh, we're out of ACME Travel Kits.
Greg: Well, Chief, isn't there anything you can do? Huh?
Chief: Hmm, uh, nope. Sorry.
Greg: But what about the hologram? You could use the hologram!
Chief: (gasps) That's a great idea!

(as the Chief, Greg, and the gumshoes travel to Havana, Cuba)
Chief: (coughs) Aren't we a little conspicuous driving these?
Greg: Ah, Chief, she'll never see us comin'.
Chief: (coughs) Yeah, but she'll see the dust a mile away.

(as the gumshoes have been struggling to find The Warrant in the 2nd round)
Rockapella: The Warrant!
Greg: Oh! (crowd screams) You have the Loot! You have the Warrant! Do you remember where Eartha is?!
Collin: The Ice Cream Parlor.
Greg: (to the board) Is she still at Coppelia Ice Cream Parlor?!
(Eartha is revealed)
Rockapella: (singing) Eartha Brute! HUH! BABALOO!!!

Playing for All the Marbles [3.40]

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[Robocrook steals the marble quarries from Carrara, Italy.]

Chief: And this is Robocrook, Carmen Sandiego's burgling bag of bolts, bits, and bytes.
Rockapella: (singing) Robocrook
Chief: His last known whereabouts: Carrara, Italy. In the 1st century B.C., Roman Emperor Augustus opened several marble quarries near Carrara. Their stone built The Pantheon, several Imperial forums, and many other buildings. The Roman Empire fell but the quarries live on. They provided stone for the Tower of Pisa, Michelangelo's David, the St. Petersburg Hermitage, and even New York's World Trade Center. There are now 225 active quarries around Carrara. Or there were until today when Robocrook, that titanium troublemaker, cruised into Carrara and cribbed every last crumb of marble. You got to catch Carmen and round up Robo. This time, you're...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...PLAYING FOR ALL THE MARBLES!

Time Line Crime Time [3.41]

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[Kneemoi steals the International Date Line from the Pacific Ocean.]

Chief: And this is Kneemoi, Carmen Sandiego's flying fluid felon from a faroff galaxy.
Rockapella: (singing) Kneemoi
Chief: Her last known whereabouts: the Pacific Ocean. In 1884, an international split the world up into 24 time zones. When it's noon Friday here, it's 11:00am in the next zone west here, and 10:00am here, 9:00am here, 8:00am here, and so on until you get all the way around to here where it's midnight on Thursday. Now this line between midnight Thursday and midnight Friday is called the International Date Line. But the world's timing went kaflooey today, gumshoes, when Kneemoi powered into the Pacific. She strolled from pole to pole and stole the whole Date Line. No one's gonna know what time it is until you get it back, gumshoes. Nab Kneemoi, catch Carmen, and solve today's case...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...TIME LINE CRIME TIME!

Signed, Stealed, and Delivered [3.42]

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[Patty Larceny steals some airport signals and signs.]

Chief: And this is Patty Larceny, Carmen Sandiego's twinkling teenage terrorist.
Rockapella: (singing) P-P-P-Patty
Chief: Her last known whereabouts: the world's transportation system. Over the last 30 years or so, airports and train stations around the world have adopted roughly the same set of sign pictures to assist their evermore international flow of passengers. The international transportation-related symbols can help you tell a denwa from a zōn. Or they did until today when Patty Larceny made a mad dash through every airport in the world and stole all the symbols. She also wrapped up a huge load of frequent flyer miles. Gumshoes, here's your job: capture Carmen, put Patty in the pokey, and bring back those symbols...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-ooo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...SIGNED, STEALED, AND DELIVERED!

Patty: I used to be a sweet innocent schoolgirl. Now I'm a sweet guilty schoolgirl and it's all Carmen's fault! Go look for her in Europe.

Greg: Everybody, repeat after me! It's time...!
Audience: It's time...!
Greg: To catch...!
Audience: To catch...!
Greg: Carmen Sandiego!
Audience: Carmen Sandiego!
Greg: I said it's time...!
Audience: It's time...!
Greg: To catch...!
Audience: To catch...!
Greg: Carmen Sandiego!
Audience: Carmen Sandiego!

I Only Have Spice for You [3.43]

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[Grunge steals all of Indonesia's spices.]

Chief: And this is Top Grunge, Carmen Sandiego's creepiest criminal crudball.
Rockapella: (singing) Top Grunge
Chief: His last known whereabouts: the nation of Indonesia. Since the early Middle Ages, Indonesia has been famous for its spices. Ginger, cinnamon, saffron, and most important of all, pepper. The Dutch and the Portuguese invaded these islands in search of spice and occupied them for hundreds of years. Now, Indonesia is independent, but spice is still big business there. Just about all the pepper, consumed in the USA, comes from the Indonesian island of Java and Sumatra. Or it did until today when Top Grunge decided to do a little shopping. He roared through Indonesia and stole every last grain of spice in the rice, I mean, price. Gumshoes, you've got to stop that felonious flimball and solve today's case...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ... I ONLY HAVE SPICE FOR YOU!

Has Anybody Cinema Festival? [3.44]

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[Double Trouble steal the Cannes Film Festival from France.]

Chief: And this is Double Trouble, Carmen Sandiego's felonious fraternal fakers.
Rockapella (singing) Double Trouble (Trouble)
Chief: Their last known whereabouts: Cannes, France. In 1946, Cannes began hosting the world famous International Film Festival. Each May, movie insiders from around the world converge in Cannes Palais des Festivals. Hundreds of new films are screened. The careers of many famous directors have been advanced here, from Francǫis Truffaut to Lina Wertmüller to Spike Lee. But the flicks stopped flickering today when Double Trouble boogied along the bagged the festival. They want to turn the palais into a drive-in movie. Gumshoes, your job is to drub Double Trouble, keelhaul Carmen, and answer Cannes anxious question...
Rockapella: (singing) Oh!
Chief: ...HAS ANYBODY CINEMA FESTIVAL?

Patty Larceny's Pink Lake Pinch [3.45]

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[Patty Larceny steals the Lac Rose lake from Senegal.]

Chief: And this is Patty Larceny, the scurrilous schoolgirl who scams for Carmen Sandiego.
Rockapella: (singing) P-P-P-Patty
Chief: Her last known whereabouts: Mboro, Senegal. Just outside of the oceanside town of Mboro lies a small body of water called Lac Rose. Its name means pink lake in French. Here's why: the lake is a cloudy pink, not blue like the nearby ocean. The strange hue comes from the lake's heavy concentration of salt. Many local workers make their living from the lake, extracting salt or selling it. Or they did until today when Patty Larceny, who adores anything pink, cruised up to the shore, activated her VILE ShopVac, and drained the lake dry. Gumshoes, you've got to corral Carmen and polish off...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief ...PATTY LARCENY'S PINK LAKE PINCH!

Sonic Tectonic Catastrophe [3.46]

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[Sarah Nade steals the Australian Tectonic Plate from the Indian Ocean.]

Chief: And this is Sarah Nade, Carmen Sandiego's raging wrongdoing rock-and-roller.
Rockapella: (singing) Sarah Nade
Chief: Her last known whereabouts: the Indian Ocean. The Earth's crust is made of cold rigid rock, but just because it's solid doesn't mean it stays in one place. The crust in made of 20 or so massive slabs called tectonic plates. The plates float on a layer of molten rock. Their constant movement causes earthquakes and volcanoes and even shifts continents. Take the Indo-Australian Plate for example. Its movement detacthed Australia from Antarctica around 95 million years ago, then just 28 million years ago, it pushed up the Himalayan Mountains. Well, today, tectonic movement got a lot faster because Sarah Nade, using the sonic rumblings of her band music, blasted the Indo-Australian plate loose, gave it the hook, and dragged it away. Gumshoes, you have to undo...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...the SONIC TECTONIC CATASTROPHE!

Gobi Go Bye Bye (Desert Desertion) [3.47]

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[Kneemoi steals the Gobi Desert from Mongolia and China.]

Chief: And this is Kneemoi, Carmen Sandiego's polymorphous pilferer from the planet Roddenberry.
Rockapella: (singing) Kneemoi
Chief: Her last known whereabouts: Mongolia and China. You want to know about dry, I'll tell you about dry. The Gobi is the world's largest desert, that's dry. It's in the center of Asia, so it's extra far from ocean waters and the mountain ranges surrounding the Gobi keep moist air from getting in, now we're talking dry here. The thin grasslands, on the outskirts of the desert called steps, only get about 10 inches of rain a year. Now how's that for dry? Well, today, Kneemoi sucked up every last grain of the Gobi. She had a light dinner today, so she decided to follow it with a big desert. Gumshoes, you've got to crack today's case...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...GOBI GO BYE BYE or the DESERT DESERTION!

The Burgled Bridge [3.48]

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[Vic the Slick steals the Brooklyn Bridge from New York.]

Chief: And this is Vic the Slick, that slimy salesman from Carmen Sandiego's roost of Wranglers.
Rockapella: (singing) Vic the Slick
Chief: His last known whereabouts: the East River in New York City. Completed in 1883, the Brooklyn Bridge is an architectural and engineering masterwork. It linked two of America's biggest cities: New York and Brooklyn. These days, Brooklyn is part of New York City and the bridge is a vital artery. Every day, nearly 130,000 people drive on the bridge or walk or bike the elevated promenade. Until today, that is. Every crooked salesman dreams of selling the Brooklyn Bridge and Vic wants to be the first to succeed, so today, using his criminal cutting torch, he detached the bridge from its massive mooring and wafted it away. Gumshoes, you've got to vaporize Vic, catch Carmen, and bring back...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...THE BURGLED BRIDGE!

Happy Happy Troy Troy (They're Smarta in Sparta) [3.49]

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[Kneemoi steals the Trojan horse from ancient Greece.]

Chief: And this is Kneemoi, Carmen Sandiego's out on bailey alien.
Rockapella: (singing) Kneemoi
Chief: Her last known whereabouts: the legends of ancient Greece. And speaking of the legends of ancient Greece, here's one of my faves: Greece and Troy fought a 10-year war. Just as the Greeks were about to lose, they came up with a plan. They built a huge wooden horse, left it outside Troy's city gate, and scooted. The Trojan assumed the horse was a token of surrender. They hauled it in and partied. When the party was over, 50 Greeks hiding inside the horse snuck out and opened the city gates. The Greek army stormed Troy and burned it to the ground. Fact or fiction? No one knows. But one thing's for sure, the Trojan horse is gone because today, Kneemoi tweaked the time-space continuum and time warped into ancient Troy. She said hi to the horse, gave him the eye, then used her Roddenberrian resources to zap him out of there. Gumshoes, you've got to solve...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo
Chief: ...HAPPY HAPPY TROY TROY or...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo
Chief: ...THEY'RE SMARTA IN SPARTA!

Can't Help Falling In Lava [3.50]

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[Eartha Brute steals the Volcán Atitlán from Chichicastenango, Guatemala.]

Chief: And this is Eartha Brute, Carmen Sandiego's unbrainy barrel of burglarizing brawn.
Rockapella: (singing) Eartha Brute, huh
Chief: Her last known whereabouts: the town of Chichicastenango, Guatemala. Just outside this lovely market town lies Atitlán Volcano, one of three volcanoes that surround Lake Atitlán. The lake is about 5,000 feet up in the Sierra Madres, and Atitlán Volcano rises 6,000 feet higher. The volcano hasn't had a major eruption in more than 100 years, but that doesn't mean the volcano's dead. The crater still smokes and steams regularly. Or it did until today when Eartha Brute chugged through Chichicastenango, looked across the lake, and absconded with Atitlán. Gumshoes, you've got to return Atitlán to Atitlán, bust Eartha and Carmen, and wrap up today's case...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...CAN'T HELP FALLING IN LAVA!

J. Edgar Hoover Manuever [3.51]

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[Double Trouble steal the J. Edgar Hoover Building from Washington, D.C.]

Chief: And this is Double Trouble, Carmen Saniego's brassy brazen brothers in burglary.
Rockapella: (singing) Double Trouble (Trouble)
Chief: Their last known whereabouts: Washington, D.C. The J. Edgar Hoover Building is national headquarters of the FBI. Named after the bureau's most famous director, it's the heart of the FBI's fight against terrorism, kidnapping, extortion, and organized crime, and every day, thousands of visitors come to see exhibits and target-shooting demonstrations. But this morning, Double Trouble turned on their vacuum and hoovered up the Hoover Building. Oh, dear, how embarrassing. It's the size of a city block and they want to throw the biggest block party ever. Gumshoes, you've got to capture Carmen and halt the J. EDGAR HOOVER MANUEVER!

Where's That Humongous Fungus Among Us? [3.52]

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[Eartha Brute steals the Armillaria bulbosa humongous fungus from Crystal Falls, Michigan.]

Chief: And this is Eartha Brute, that mega-muscled maker of mayhem from Carmen's gang of goons.
Rockapella: (singing) Eartha Brute, huh
Chief: Her last known whereabouts: Crystal Falls, Michigan. In 1988, scientists began a startling discovery in a forest near Crystal Falls. They found one of the world's largest living organisms. It's called Armillaria bulbosa, a single giant fungus of intertwined tendrils and mushrooms. The fungus weighs over 100 tons, covers more than 35 acres. It's been growing for about 10,000 years and it hasn't stopped yet. But it was uprooted today when Eartha Brute, driving her fearsome fungus fetcher, plowed into the forest and took every last tentacle. Gumshoes, you got to unearth Eartha, reearth that fungus, and answer the question...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...WHERE'S THAT HUMONGOUS FUNGUS AMONG US?

The Patty Pony Pinch [3.53]

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[Patty Larceny steals the ponies from Chincoteague Island, Virginia.]

Chief: And this is Patty Larceny, that terrible teenager from Carmen's court of creeps.
Rockapella: (singing) P-P-P-Patty
Chief: Her last known whereabouts: Chincoteague Island, Virginia. Chincoteague Island's fame come from a herd of wild ponies. Most of the year, the ponies live across the channel on nearby Assateague Island, but every July, ponies from Assateague wild herds are rounded up, driven across the channel to Chincoteague, and sold at auction. The ones that aren't sold swim back to Assateague the next day. This tradition dates back more than 65 years. Until today, that is when Patty Larceny crashed the auction with her Pony Patty Wagon and filched every foal and filly. Gumshoes, you got to ride to the rescue, pinch Patty, corral Carmen Sandiego, and put an end to...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...THE PATTY PONY PINCH!

Barry: A horse is a horse, of course, of course!

(Patty tells Gabriel to go to North America)
Greg: What did she say?
Gabriel: I don't know. I couldn't hear her.
Greg: Well, I have a pretty good idea we're going to North America. NORTH AMERICA! CHIEF!

The Big Boom Bust [3.54]

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[Robocrook steals the Stanley Park Cannon or the "9 O'Clock Gun" from Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada.]

Chief: And this is Robocrook, Carmen Sandiego's sinister silicon servant.
Rockapella: (singing) Robocrook
Chief: His last known whereabouts: Vancouver, British Columbia. Vancouver's Stanley Park Cannon has been in place for 98 years, and every day at 9:00pm, it goes boom. (explosion) The tradition goes back to the turn of the century when the gun was used to tell fishermen it was time to bring their boats in. (explosion) Vancouver has grown a lot since then, but the 9 O'Clock gun still fires. Every morning, a city worker packs it with powder, and every night, an electric fuse wired to a clock sets it off. (explosion) Or it did until today when Robocrook subbed into Stanley Park. He scoped out the cannon, uncaged it, and carried it off. Gumshoes, you got to rope Robocrook and solve today's case...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...THE BIG BOOM BUST!

The Losin' the Blues Blues [3.55]

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[Kneemoi steals blues music from Chicago, Illinois.]

Chief: And this is Kneemoi, Carmen Sandiego's evil extraterrestrial associate.
Rockapella: (singing) Kneemoi
Chief: Her last known whereabouts: Chicago, Illinois. Chicago style blues was popularized by performers like Muddy Waters, Howlin' Wolf, and Willie Dixon, most of whom were former southerners. Blues music began in the south when African-American musician forged the styles from the spirituals, work songs, and ballads of the 19th century. Today in Chicago, you can still hear great blues musicians crank out the tunes. Stars like Buddy Guy, Koko Taylor, and Sunnyland Slim. Or you could until today when Kneemoi hit the Southside to take in some tunes. When Kneemoi gets into the music, she really gets into the music. She liked it so much she took it with her when she left. Gumshoes, you've got to stop the sad sound of...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...THE LOSIN' THE BLUES BLUES!

Who Copped the Afro-Pop? [3.56]

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[Double Trouble steal the Juju music from West Africa]

Chief: And this is Double Trouble, Carmen's twin pack of tricks and treachery.
Rockapella: (singing) Double Trouble (Trouble)
Chief: Their last known whereabouts: West Africa. What reggae is to Jamaica, Juju is to the West African nation. A homegrown form of pop music. (music plays) Juju grew from the music of the Yoruba people. Band leaders, like Ebenezer Obey and King Sunny Ade, combined the talking drum patterns of the jungle with soft singing and electric and slide guitars. But today, those bopping bands fell silent because Juju music is gone. Double Trouble wailed into West Africa, turned up their VILE volume, and nabbed every note. Gumshoes, you got to derail that dastardly duo, rescue those rocking rhythms and answer today's musical question...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...WHO COPPED THE AFRO-POP?

The Sleaze Who Stole the Subway [3.57]

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[Vic the Slick steals the New York City Subway]

Chief: And this is Vic the Slick, that sleazy sales freak who cops for Carmen Sandiego.
Rockapella: (singing) Vic the Slick
Chief: His last known whereabouts: New York City. The New York City Subway System is the third largest in the world. Only Moscow's and Tokyo's have more riders. Have a look. Begun in 1904, the system totaled 731 miles of track. If you stretched it out in a line, it would reach from New York City to Indianapolis. Not bad for the price of one token. But today, there was a major service delay when Vic the Slick decided they'd make great getaway tunnels. Armed with 17 zillion cubic feet of helium, he stole the entire subway system. Gumshoes, you've got to stop...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...THE SLEAZE WHO STOLE THE SUBWAY!

The Goon Who Stole the Moon (Lunar Loot Lifter) [3.58]

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[Robocrook steals the Moon]

Chief: And this is Robocrook, Carmen Sandiego's cranky criminal crony.
Rockapella: (singing) Robocrook
Chief: His last known whereabouts: the sky. The Moon is Earth's closest neighbor. For centuries, people worship the Moon as a goddess and it is powerful. Its gravitational field affects the tides in our oceans. Some even think it affects human behavior. The word lunatic, from the Latin word for moon, was used to describe crazy people. For over four billion years, the Moon has circled the Earth more than 27.3 days until today when Robocrook snatched our nearby satellite and left a big space in space. How could he do such a thing? Maybe he just took a shine to it. Gumshoes, its your job to stop...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...THE GOON WHO STOLE THE MOON or LUNAR LOOT LIFTER!

Museum Melodrama [3.59]

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[Sarah Nade steals the Institute of American Indian Arts Museum from Santa Fe, New Mexico.]

Chief: And this is Sarah Nade, Carmen Sandiego's caterwauling caper commiter.
Rockapella: (singing) Sarah Nade
Chief: Her last known whereabouts: Santa Fe, New Mexico, the second oldest city in the USA. The Institute of American Indian Arts Museum was founded here in the early '60s. Museum instructors from many Native American cultures teach traditional and new arts. The museum's collection, featuring works by artists like T.C. Cannon and Bill Souza, is one of the most important in the US. Or it was until today when Sarah Nade skidded into Santa Fe, piled the collection into her Band-Van, and stole it. She wants to trash it in her next music video. Gumshoes, you've got to stop Sarah, corral Carmen, and mitigate this...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...MUSEUM MELODRAMA!

The Malice in Malta [3.60]

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[Eartha Brute steals Malta]

Chief: And this is Eartha Brute, Carmen Sandiego's hard-bodied, soft-headed strongwoman.
Rockapella: (singing) Eartha Brute, huh
Chief: Her last known whereabouts: the Mediterranean Sea. The island nation of Malta lies smack in the middle of the Mediterranean. 1/10 the size of Rhode Island, it is almost entirely built up with cities. For a long time, outside powers controlled Malta. The Phoenicians, the Carthaginians, the Romans, the Arabs, the Normans, the knights of St. John, Spain, France, and England. Malta finally went independent in 1964. But that changed today when Eartha Brute windsurfed in, winced Malta out of the water, and walked away with it. Gumshoes, you've got to right this wrong, catch Carmen, stop Eartha Brute and solve...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...THE MALICE IN MALTA!

The Robozone Robbery [3.61]

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[Robocrook steals the ozone layer.]

Chief: And this is Robocrook, Carmen Sandiego's trash heap of treachery and transistors.
Rockapella: (singing) Robocrook
Chief: His last known whereabouts: the sky. Ozone is a type of oxygen that forms in the stratosphere, around 17 miles above us. It blocks the Sun's dangerous ultraviolet rays before they reach the Earth's surface. Recently, scientists discovered that man-made chemicals are eating a hole in the ozone layer above Antarctica. The increase in radiation may already be causing diseases and enviromental destruction. Well, you'd better get out your SPF 9 zillion sunblock because today, Robocrook stole the ozone layer, holes and all. Gumshoes, you've got to wrangle that robot, make the sky safe again and stop...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...THE ROBOZONE ROBBERY!

Gimme Back My Wig [3.62]

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[Vic the Slick steals the wigs of London's judges and barristers]

Chief: And this is Vic the Slick, Carmen Sandiego's heinous hustler, huckster, and heistmeister.
Rockapella: (singing) Vic the Slick
Chief: His last known whereabouts: London, England. In the 17th and 18th centuries, most English gentlemen wore wigs. The fashion faded except in courtrooms. White horsehair wigs are still required to tire for judges and for barristers, the English equivalant for trial lawyers. Today, some barristers complained that the toppers are hot, ugly, and unsanitary. But England lost tradition and so far, the wigs have stayed. Until today, that is when Vic lollygagged into London and whisked away the wigs. Gumshoes, you've got to stop the slick one, catch Carmen, and answer the barristers cry for justice...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...GIMME BACK MY WIG!

The Big Bug Bug Out [3.63]

edit

[Top Grunge steals the Amazon Rainforest's bugs from Brazil.]

Chief: And this is Top Grunge, Carmen's greasy gritty grifter with B.O. so bad you can see it.
Rockapella: (singing) Top Grunge
Chief: His last known whereabouts: Amazonas, Brazil. The Amazon Rainforest is home to many living things including inch-long ants and spiders the size of dinner plates. There's even a rare giant beetle that one scientist kept on a leash. Millions of species may still be undiscovered and they might just contain genetic information that could help scientists improve or even save people's lives. But today, the rainforest insect population dropped to zero. Top Grunge rumbled into the jungle and bagged every bug. Gumshoes, you've got to get a grip on that greaseball and squash his plans for...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-ooo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...THE BIG BUG BUG OUT!

The Williamsburglary [3.64]

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[Patty Larceny steals the city of Williamsburg from Virginia.]

Chief: And this is Patty Larceny, Carmen Sandiego's dimply dorian of duplicity.
Rockapella: (singing) P-P-P-Patty
Chief: Her last known whereabouts: Williamsburg, Virginia. From 1699-1780, Williamsburg was Virginia's capital. It was home to George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, and about 2,000 others, half of whom were slaves. Williamsburg's colonial glory was restored in 1926, and today, many of the 10,000 permanent residents recreate life in the 18th century, wearing colonial era clothes and demonstrating period crafts for thousands of daily visitors. Or they did until today when Patty Larceny tootled into town. She didn't just take snapshots, she took every bit of Williamsburg and filed it in her photo album. Gumshoes, it's your job to stop...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-ooo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...THE WILLIAMSBURGLARY!

Rat and Mouse [3.65]

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[Wonder Rat steals the Mouse Tower from Germany's Rhine River]

Chief: And this is Wonder Rat, that self-promoting snivler who steals stuff for Carmen Sandiego.
Rockapella: (singing) Wonder Rat
Chief: His last known whereabouts: Germany's Rhine River. On a small island in the Rhine stands a 700-year-old Mäuseturm, or Mouse Tower. According to legend, an evil bishop invited a crowd of starving peasants into his bond, promising them free food. Then he burned down the barn with the peasants inside. The next morning, 10,000 mice chased the bishop out of his castle and into the tower where they ate him alive. I love happy endings. Now the tower is a popular tourist spot. Or it was until today when that caped crudhead Wonder Rat scoped up the tower while rowing up the Rhine. He backed up and bopped off with it. Gumshoes, you've got to retrieve the tower, catch Carmen, and stop this game of...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...RAT AND MOUSE!

Season 4

edit

Carmen's Final Location

edit
Sarah: Aw, man! This prison is heinous! The guards keep playing music by Kenny G. Get Carmen in here before I freak out! She scooted to (continent).
Robo: Robocrook Unit-059 calling. The judge threw the wrench at Robocrook. I'm sentenced to 20 years as a jailhouse soda machine. Get Carmen to help. You'll find her in (continent).
Eartha: This prison gym is terrible. I can only bench press 1000 pounds. Make Carmen bring me more weight. You'll find her in (continent).
Patty: (same as season 3)
Contessa: Prison life is so uncivilized. 600 rooms and not a room service menu in sight. Tell Carmen this is more than I can bear. She went to (continent).
Vic: (same as season 3)
Wonder Rat: Now that I'm in prison, I'll get really famous. They want me on Current Copy, Inside Affair, and Hard Edition. Tell Carmen to cut a deal. You'll find her in (continent).
Kneemoi: 92 planets, 92 jail cells, My frequent prisoner miles are really adding up. I'll give Carmen a free trip to Roddenberry. Go find her in (continent).
Double Trouble: (same as season 3)
Top Grunge: (same as season 3)

About Face [4.1]

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[Sarah Nade steals Balinese masks]

Chief: This is Sarah Nade.
Rockapella: (singing) Sarah Nade
Chief: She's sassy. She's revvin'. She sings like L7. Her last known whereabouts: Bali, Indonesia. The Balinese people have used elaborate handmade masks that's part of religious ceremonies for centuries. The masks were worn during drama performances where dancers act out stories or poems. It's believed the wear even becomes the character on his mask like a hero, a witch, or an animal. When not in use, these sacred masks are treated carefully and stored in temples or shrines. The Balinese also sells similar masks to tourists, but these aren't considered religious. Well, the souvenir shops got cleaned out today when Sarah Nade decided to use the masks in her new music video. She sang so loud she brought the masks to life. Then she filched the phony masks and stuffed them in the studio. Now the song's a smash, so Sarah suffered the masks into signing a lifetime deal with her. It's up to you to bring them back, gumshoes, and solve today's case...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...ABOUT FACE!

(the Chief watches a movie while eating popcorn, while Greg enters)
Greg: Hey, listen. These should've been taken back to the video store already. What are you doin'? (sees a video cover) What is this? Frou-Frou Come Home? "The story of the little chihuaua bound for glory in the bright lights of Broadway." Chief, this is a Dog Movie!
Chief: And it's wonderful! This is the part where Frou-Frou escapes from the bad guy at the junkyard. But he forgets his lucky ribbon that his little girl owner gave to him when she was in the hospital, and he's going back!
Greg: Looks like I'm doin' the contest on my own today. Here's who won.
(the contest winners are revealed)
Greg: Congratulations to the winners.
(he looks closely at the movie in progress)
Greg: Hey, Chief, wait a minute. Is Frou-Frou really gonna jump from that train onto that little tiny piece of tuna-fish sandwich?! He's never gonna make it!
(he and the Chief share the popcorn, and Greg gives the Chief a signal to finish the contest rules, of which the Chief does)
Greg: Chief, Lassie and Rin-Tin-Tin are trapped inside the burning eraser factory.
Chief: Ah-ah-ah, don't worry. Frou-Frou's gonna get them out! (sirens) I see him! Look out!
Greg and the Chief: (excitedly) OH! HE BROUGHT HELP!! THEY'RE GETTING THE AMBULANCE!!! FROU-FROU!! FROU-FROU!!!
(they both laugh like crazy, and Greg is about to go away)
Greg: Okay. Um, these hafta go back by today.
Chief: Yeah. I'm on it.
Greg: Okay.
(he exits the office)
Chief: Oh, Frou-Frou, we could use you!

Plastic Diver Guy: Oh, no! That ominous music! Feline alert! Catfish at 12:00!
(a catfish, which is actually half-cat, half-fish, attacks him from above)
Rockapella: The one and only Plastic Diver Guy!

Sarah: Aw, man! This prison is heinous! The guards keep playin' music by Kenny G. Get Carmen in here before I freak out! She scooted to North America.

Space Place Chase [4.2]

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[Robocrook steals NASA's Space Camp]

Chief: This is Robocrook.
Rockapella: (singing) Robocrook
Chief: A down-and-dirty dust buster who vacuums up valuables for Carmen Sandiego. His last known whereabouts: Huntsville, Alabama. The word "camp" might remind you of mosquito bites and singing Kumbaya, but not if you've been to Space Camp at the U.S. Space and Rocket Center in Huntsville, Alabama. Space Campers fill their time working on model rockets, experiencing changes in gravity, and learning the history of rockets and the U.S. space program. The seven-day stay ends with a two-hour long simulated space shuttle flight. Every week, a whole new flock of students from around the world come to spend some time with their heads in the clouds. But their countdown stopped abruptly today when Robocrook vectored into the sector. His monitors indicated machinery, motivation, merriment, and minds at work. So the plutonium-plated pencil sharpener saucered over the center, zeroed in, then zapped it away. Gumshoes, today's case.
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: SPACE PLACE CHASE!

Robocrook: Robocrook Unit 0-59 calling. The judge threw the wrench at Robocrook. I'm sentenced to 20 years at the jailhouse soda machine. Get Carmen to help. You'll find her in Africa.

Gum Clues for Gumshoes [4.3]

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[Eartha Brute steals Moscow's GUM Department Store.]

Chief: This is Eartha Brute.
Rockapella: (singing) Eartha Brute, huh
Chief: A herculean hooligan who hauls heistables for Carmen Sandiego. Her last known whereabouts: Moscow, Russia. Across from Lenin's Tomb on Red Square stands the famed department store called GUM. Its initials G.U.M. stand for a Russian phrase meaning main department store of Moscow. Built under the sun in 1893, the stylish three-story GUM once housed more than 1,000 shops. Its glamour faded though once Communists took power, and GUM became a drab state-run store. But with capitalism now sweeping through Russia, GUM's glory days have returned. But the only sale at GUM today was a huge five finger discount. Eartha Brute, boared with her wardrobe of just one bodysuit, went on a shoplifting spree. That burly burglar marched into Moscow, then strutted out with the store. Gumshoes, track down Eartha in today's caper...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...GUM CLUES FOR GUMSHOES!

Patty's Plaster Picture Pinch [4.4]

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[Patty Larceny steals Diego Rivera's murals from Mexico]

Chief: This is Patty Larceny.
Rockapella: (singing) P-P-P-Patty
Chief: A gal with straight A's and twisted morals who walks the crooked path for Carmen Sandiego. Her last known whereabouts: Mexico. Painter Diego Rivera is a giant in the history of Mexican art. He was a big man who became hugely famous for enormous paintings called murals. Rivera was concerned with Mexico's poor and working class people and his art is often filled with their images. He thought his murals should be seen by everyone, not just those who go to museums. So instead of painting on canvas, Diego painted his murals on walls in public places. More than 100 Rivera murals can be seen throughout Mexico. Until today, that is when the prissy perp named Patty decided to privatize the previously public painting. She proceeded to purloin the pictures by pulling the paintings off their perches. Now, they pose for people to PPAC in Patty's Picture Place at a poultry peso a pop. Gumshoes, please retrieve those paintings from their present predicament...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...PATTY'S PLASTER PICTURE PINCH!

Medieval Evil [4.5]

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[Contessa steals Himeji Castle from Japan.]

Chief: This is Contessa.
Rockapella: (singing) Contessa
Chief: She loves robbery and snobbery, won't tolerate slobbery. Her last known whereabouts: Himeji, Japan. Himeji Town isn't a top tourist spot in Japan, but it is known for one big attraction: Himeji Castle. It was built in the small fort in the 1300s, then greatly enlarged about two centuries later. A feudal lord wanted the fort so big and sturdy there'd be no way enemies could get in. Well, his plan must have worked. Himeji Castle became one of Japan's finest medieval fortresses, and it's still in great shape today. Picnickers and tourists alike find it a nice spot to spend some time. Or they did until today when Contessa, whose blood goes a-boil and anything royal, decided to cop the castle by controlling a crafty kite. She worked a winch and the pinch was a cinch. Gumshoes, you got to track down that aristocratic fanatic and solve today's case...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...MEDIEVAL EVIL!

Kamehameha Mayhem [4.6]

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[Vic the Slick steals the King Kamehameha statue from Honolulu, Hawaii.]

Chief: This is Vic the Slick.
Rockapella: (singing) Vic the Slick
Chief: That putrid pitchman who pilfers for Carmen Sandiego. His last known whereabouts: Honolulu, Hawaii. King Kamehameha I started out as a warrior on Hawaii's biggest island, Hawaii. Kamehameha took over that island by force, then invaded other Hawaiian islands. By 1810, he ruled them all and managed to unite people who had been fighting each other for centuries. Although King Kamehameha had been a fierce warrior, he became a compassionate popular leader. After he died, the king's memory was honored by the statue in front of Honolulu's old judiciary building. Well, that honor is a goner, gumshoes. Today, Vic honked into Honolulu looking to catch a king instead of a wave. A Kamehameha commotion followed the slick one's arrival. But when last seen, Vic and his captive king were kicking back with coconut cocktail. Gumshoes, you have to unravel this royal ripoff and solve today's case...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...KAMEHAMEHA MAYHEM!

Countdowner [4.7]

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[Wonder Rat steals the European Space Center from French Guiana]

Chief: This is Wonder Rat.
Rockapella: (singing) Wonder Rat
Chief: A human vermin dressed as a rodent vermin who works for that UVA vermin, Carmen Sandiego. His last known whereabouts: Kourou, French Guiana. The South American jungle seems an unlikely site for the world's busiest rocket launching center, but that's just what you'll find at Kourou. You see, the Earth rotates faster near the equator, so Ariane rockets, launched from Kourou, benefit from that extra speed. The payloads on most Ariane rockets are satellites used by television, businesses, and governments. Nearly 70% of the world's commercial satellites are now launched at this European Bat Space Center. But that rocket center got rocked today when Wonder Rat copped on the scene. First, that hooligan hotwired an Ariane, then he counted down and blasted off, whisking his whiskers and lifting the launch center up into outer space. Now that orbiting lowlife is high above Earth deploring his own RATSAT and space station. Gumshoes, bring down that rodent and crack today's case...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...COUNTDOWNER!

Wonder Rat: Now that I'm in prison, I'll get really famous. They'll want me on Current Copy, Inside Affair and Hard Edition. Tell Carmen to cut a deal. You'll find her in North America.

How to Get a Head in Crime [4.8]

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[Kneemoi steals the Olmec head stones.]

Chief: This is Kneemoi.
Rockapella: (singing) Kneemoi
Chief: A spaced out space cadet in charge of intergalactic hijinks for Carmen Sandiego. Her last known whereabouts: Mexico's Gulf Coast. From about 1200 to 400 BC, the ancient culture of the Olmecs flourished in this region. As Middle America's first organized society, the Olmecs developed math, religion, a system of writing, and they built monumental structures. Among the discovered Olmec artifacts are giant stone heads from 5 to 11 feet tall. The heads were carved without the use of metal tools and are believed to be portraits of prominent Olmec leaders. But today, those carved craniums headed out of town. Nefarious Kneemoi dropped in, copped the head, then copted them back to Roddenberry. Gumshoes, you got to end Kneemoi's lesson in...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...HOW TO GET A HEAD IN CRIME!

Kneemoi: 92 planets, 92 jail cells! My frequent prisoner miles are really adding up! I'll give Carmen a free trip to Roddenberry. Go find her in North America.

The Dragony of Defeat [4.9]

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[Double Trouble steal the International Dragon Boat Races from Hong Kong.]

Chief: This is Double Trouble.
Rockapella: (singing) Double Trouble (Trouble)
Chief: Carmen's sorted set of synchronized slackers. Their last known whereabouts: Hong Kong. A couple thousand years ago, poet Qu Yuan protested against the corrupt government by drowning himself in the Miluo River. Locals voted out to save him, but it was too late so they threw dumplings in the water to feed hungry fish that might dine on, well, the departed poet. This legend is remembered each year as Hong Kong hosts the International Dragon Boat Races. Paddlers from across the globe raced dragon decorated boats in Victoria Harbour while spectators dine on those legendary dumplings. Or they did until today when Double Trouble thronged into Hong Kong to do some wrong. They used their delinquent flyer miles to hound a dragon jet, then hovered over the harbor and boosted the boats. They gave passers by the evil eye. Was it optical collusion or were those twisted twins just harboring a grudge? That's up to you to find out, gumshoes, as you try to solve today's case...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...THE DRAGONY OF DEFEAT!

Frix the Grand Prix [4.10]

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[Top Grunge steals the Monaco Grand Prix from Monte Carlo.]

Chief: This is Top Grunge.
Rockapella: (singing) Top Grunge
Chief: A detestable irrestable who swipes stuff for Carmen Sandiego. His last known whereabouts: Monte Carlo, Monaco. In the thrilling sport of auto racing, Grand Prix racers are supreme. They feature the world's top drivers competing in the sport's most expensive high-tech cars and for a glamourous Grand Prix challenge, the place to race is Monaco. Each spring since 1929, the world's rich and famous have gathered here to watch drivers race on the twisting city streets of Monte Carlo. The S-curves and hairpin turns of the course push man and machine to the limit. But no one took the checkered flag in Monaco today because Top Grunge took the Grand Prix. That grease monkey motored into Monte Carlo, then ran his stint by turning signs out of line. He rerouted the race and gave those daring drivers a bum steer. Before you could say the words "pit stop", those race cars were stopped for good in the Garage de Grunge. Gumshoes, you've got to heave the cry of Monaco and...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...FRIX THE GRAND PRIX!

You Ain't Nothin' But a House Thief [4.11]

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[Sarah Nade steals Graceland]

Chief: This is Sarah Nade.
Rockapella: (singing) Sarah Nade
Chief: A mischievious musician in residence for that maestro of mayhem Carmen Sandiego. Her last known whereabouts: Memphis, Tennessee. By 1957, 22-year old Elvis Presley was rich and famous, so he bought a mansion called Graceland. Over the next 20 years, the rock star decorated the 23-room mansion as only someone with a lot of money and, um, unique tastes can do. The billiard room is canopied with yards of paisley fabric while the jungle theme living room has shag carpet on the ceiling. The lemon-yellow TV room has three TVs and a mirrored ceiling. Graceland's more than 700,000 yearly visitors get to see all this, plus Elvis' car museum, and his two jet planes parked nearby. Or they did until today when Sarah Nade popped up at Presley's palace. After eyeballing one of the King's gold records, that greedy gal made a grab for them all. She anchored Graceland securely, then pinched Presley's pink Cadillac, and before you could say Anchors Aweigh, glorious Graceland was gone. Now don't be cruel, gumshoes. Love Memphis tender and solve today's case...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...YOU AIN'T NOTHIN' BUT A HOUSE THIEF!

Chief: Greg, come in here, now! (ducks down)
Greg: Geez, guys, this looks, uh, fairly serious. If you don't mind, hang here. I'll be right back. (enters the office where the Chief is nowhere in sight) Yeah, Chief? Chief!
Chief: (pops up from under her desk, startling Greg) Greg, I think I'm losing my mind. (Greg sighs) I can't find my ruler!
Greg: Chief, calm down. I'll help you look for it. (searches under the desk with her)
(as they search, the Chief's coffee mug is being taken by ants, although they are not seen, who sing "The Ants Go Marching")
Chief: Oh, never mind. I'll just buy a new one.
Greg: Chief, listen. You hear that?
Chief: Sounds like singing.
Greg: Yeah. (sees her muffin moving) Chief, look, your muffin is moving.
Chief: Oh, Greg, muffins don't move. (they both examine the muffin closely) Well, I'll be. (magnifies the muffin) Those are ants!
Greg: Chief, those aren't just ants. Those are rare singing ants.
Chief: Oh, really?
Greg: Yeah.
Chief: Well, maybe they can sing about the contest.
(the ants sing the contest rules to the tune of their song)
Greg: Oh, that's good. That's very good. (the Chief finishes the contest rules)
Greg and the Chief: Congratulations to the winners.
Ants: Ready, eat! (they instantly eat the muffin)
Greg: Uh, you know, Chief, normally, I know this is a time when you wanna call an exterminator, but, uh, they're so cute. Don't you think? They're cute!
Chief: Oh, all right. I understand. I can get another muffin.
Greg: Another muffin.
Chief: And another ruler.
Greg: Another ruler.
Chief: And ano-- (the ants take the desk) Wha--
Greg: I'm particularly ambitious today.
Chief: Oh, I think I better call the bug people.
Greg: Yeah. (gets up from the desk) Yeah. You do that. (exits the office and returns to HQ, where the ants take the camera) Hey. Hey, don't take the camera. Hey, come on! We got a show to do, guys! Don't take the camera! Come on! (to a cameraman) Go to the Phone Tap.

Chief: (at the end of the 1st round) ...And our ACME Voice Identification Badge and Leave-a-Message Wallet. (opens it up, revealing an image of herself) Perfect for storing messages. (presses a button and a cow moo is heard) And, uh, the occasional large pet.

(as the Chief, Greg, and the Gumshoes travel to Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania)
Chief: Hey, pretty cool view, Greg. The latest from ACME Car Net?
Greg: Heck, no, Chief. It's a loner from George Jetson. (laughs) Well, I like it!

(an image of the model neighborhood from Mister Rogers' Neighborhood is shown)
Chief: Finally, take a stroll through Pittsburgh's most famous neighborhood. Oh, boy. These aerial shots make cars and houses look just like toys. What? They are toys? Oh. Oh, of course. Pittsburgh's most famous neighborhood is the home of Mister Rogers, but this is no time for make-believe, Gumshoes.

Sarah: (says the exact same thing in About Face)

Fugone But Not Fugotten [4.12]

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[Kneemoi steals the Fugu from Shimonoseki, Japan]

Greg: Hey, they're just back from their world wide tour with Touche' Turtle.
Rockapella: Rockapella! (blow kisses)

Chief: This is Kneemoi.
Rockapella: (singing) Kneemoi
Chief: A close encounter of the worst kind who beams up booty for Carmen Sandiego. Her last known whereabouts: Shimonoseki, Japan. When lovers of raw fish want real dining adventure, the fish they ask for is fugu. Fugu, or blowfish, is prized for its flavor and for a special thrill. It could kill you. That's because fugu contains a poison for which there is no antidote. Japan's fugu diners put their lives in the hands of chefs who spend years learning how to remove the poison. Or they did until today when noxious Kneemoi staged a spaced out splashdown. and metamorphfishized into a foal fugu. She spouted a snorkel, then started snorting up the sea creatures into a felonious fugu feast. That intergalactic glutton gobbled until she was totally bloated on blowfish. She wants to fry up the fugu into a fatal fricassee. Gumshoes, you've got license to kill as you try to solve today's case...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...FUGONE BOT NOT FUGOTTEN!

(Greg enters the Chief's office, where she is sleeping)
Greg: Chief! Oh, the Chief's asleep. Guess there's no meeting today.
(he exits the office, but is stopped by a translucent image of the Chief who walks in)
Out-of-body experience Chief: Greg, where're you going?
Greg: Chief! You were asleep, but I don't know what's goin' on.
Out-of-body experience Chief: Ah, well, Greg, I'm just having an out-of-body experience. Sometimes, I find it very relaxing to take a stroll.
Greg: That's a cool trick, Chief.
(another out-of-body experience Chief walks in)
Out-of-body experience Chief 2: Hey, how you doing, Greg?
Greg: Wait a minute. 3 Chiefs?!
(the real Chief wakes up)
Chief: Greg. Oh, I'm so glad you're here!
Greg: Me, too, Chief. There's some really weird stuff happenin', if you know what I mean.
Chief: Oh, no, Greg. I'm just having an out-of-body experience.
Greg: Oh, well, that's all fine and good, Chief, but what about her?
Chief: Oh, well, just do the contest, while we're still waking up.
Greg: Oh, okay. Sure, Chief. Here are today's winners. (winners are shown)
All: Congratulations to today's winners.
Greg: Thanks a lot, ladies. (does the contest rules) Each day--
Chief: Uh, allow us.
All Chiefs: Each day, we'll pick 5 people who's lists are correct and send them each a Carmen T-Shirt.
Greg: Very nice. Okay, Chief. Now, explain the 3rd one.
Chief: Well, obviously, my out-of-body experience is having an out-of-body experience.
Greg: Obviously. (exits the office)
Chief: Mm-hmm. Nice work, ladies.
Greg: You know, the Chief is not the only one that can do that trick. Check this out. (shows an out-of-body experience of himself, which appears to be jumping in the air) Whoa-whoa-whoa, what a feelin'! Phone Tap.

Greg: (after he and the Gumshoes constantly try to pronounce "Mt. Aconcagua" properly) How we doin' on that, Word Queen? I'll tell you what, I don't know how to say it exactly. But it is... Is it okay? Say it 1 time for us. Here's the Word Queen, Pinch.
Pinch: Mount Aconcagua.
Greg: ...Is the right answer!

(as the Chief, Greg, and the Gumshoes travel to New Jersey)
Greg: Calm yourself, Chief. This raft is unsinkable and I'm steerin'.
Chief: It's not the raft I'm worried about, Greg!

René: Lucy the Elephant.
Greg: Uh, yes, this is a 7 story elephant-- Or it's a building in the-- I'm havin' trouble on it. It's like a building. It's shaped like an elephant. Used to be hotel. Is that-- That's enough? Go, buddy. (the trilon has trouble turning around completely and Rockapella make elephant trumpets as Greg comes up to check it out) Wait a s-- It's still in there! There goes Lucy! It's not gonna turn.
Rockapella: Low budget!
Greg: Okay. We turn 'em back around. Turn 'em back around. Just a reminder, folks. It's Viewers Like You that keep us on the air every week.

Rockapella: (each time the fugu is revealed)
Swiped sushi!
Burgled blowfish!
Fugu-bubu!
Pilfered poisoned puffer!

Kneemoi: 92 planets, 92 jail cells. My frequent prisoner miles are really adding up. I'll give Carmen a free trip to Roddenberry. Go find her in Africa.

Atomic Glomb [4.13]

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[Robocrook steals the Atomium from Brussels, Belgium.]

Chief: This is Robocrook.
Rockapella: (singing) Robocrook
Chief: A toaster oven gone bad who serves up hot hauls to Carmen Sandiego. His last known whereabouts: Brussels, Belgium. In 1958, Brussels hosted the World's Fair, and towering the exhibit from around the world was Brussels' own Atomium. The Atomium is a model of the molecules of an iron crystal, each of the nine atoms that make up the model are about 60 feet in diameter, and once contained the exhibits on nuclear energy. Inside the tubes, that connect the atoms are elevators that allowed visitors to travel to the different exhibits. All in all, the Atomium is 335 feet tall and remains a very unusual site in this capital city. But today, those molecules got mauled. Robocrook breezed into Brussels on his crimecraft, then advanced his Atomium attack. He popped the top, dropped himself in, and rocketed away. Then, Robo rocked into warp drive to points unknown. Gumshoes, only you can defuse today's case...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...the ATOMIC GLOMB!

Crook Snatches Natchez [4.15]

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[Contessa steals 19th-century mansions from Natchez, Mississippi.]

Chief: This is the Contessa.
Rockapella: (singing) Contessa
Chief: Carmen Sandiego's high-class, high-crime heist committer. Her last known whereabouts: Natchez, Mississippi. While many of the South Grand homes were destroyed during the Civil War, dozens of mansions around Natchez survived. So in 1932, the Natchez Garden Club hosted the first spring pilgrimage to these homes, twice each year. Pre-Civil War estates are open to the public. Women in 19th-century dress greet tourists who come from an up close look at an era gone by, an era of luxury and slavery. But today, those mansions got mooched when the Contessa decided to shoot the breeze. Gumshoes, that swell-smelling felon is contempt on selling the dwellings. You've got to stop her and solve today's crime...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...CROOK SNATCHES NATCHEZ!

Rockapella: (singing) The warrant!
(the warrant panel falls off, and Greg runs over to put it back in place)
Greg: (laughing) Let me get that.
Rockapella: (singing) Low budget!
Greg: That's OK. Just remember, folks: it's member dollars of yours that keep us on the air every day.

Wanted for Armed Cobbery [4.16]

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[Vic the Slick steals the Corn Palace from Mitchell, South Dakota]

Chief: This is Vic the Slick.
Rockapella: (singing) Vic the Slick
Chief: That plaid clad bad cad from Carmen's crew of cretins. His last known whereabouts: Mitchell, South Dakota. In 1892, Mitchell town leaders were trying to attract farmers to settle there. So to promote Mitchell, they built a corn palace. The palace was home to Mitchell's Fall Harvest Festival, where the town showed off locally grown crops. Artisans covered the palace's wall with colorful designs, made mostly with local corn, other grains and grasses. The Corn Palace was a big hit then and still is today. Each year the outer walls are redecorated with 100,000 ears of corn, give or take a kernel. But today, the good folks of Mitchell are feeling mighty miffed. Vic the Slick twitched into town and purloined the palace. He's using a crane to convert the copped cobs into a popcorn panorama. Stop him, gumshoes, before he gets lost in the maize of today's case...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...WANTED FOR ARMED COBBERY!

Trunk & Disorderly [4.17]

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[Eartha Brute steals an African Bush Elephant from the Smithsonian Institute in Washington D.C.]

Chief: This is Eartha Brute.
Rockapella: (singing) Eartha Brute, huh
Chief: A mega-muscled mutant who makes off with merchandise for Carmen Sandiego. Her last known whereabouts: the Smithsonian Institution in Washington D.C. The Smithsonian's National Museum of Natural History has collected millions of objects, and however you measure them, the famed African Bush Elephant is humungous and is the largest known land animal since the dinosaurs. He stood 13 feet two inches high at the shoulder, and weighed about 24,000 pounds. To prepare the elephant for exhibit, his hide was stuffed with tons of clay. He was first displayed over 30 years ago and has been thrilling visitors ever since. Until today that is when Eartha Brute started looking for love in all the wrong places. She dropped by to pay the pachyderm a visit, and was swept away by his repartee. They appeared together in all of the columns, and then Eartha elevated the elephant and eloped to parts unknown. Gumshoes, it's up to you to solve today's case...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...TRUNK & DISORDERLY!

Mining Crime Station [4.18]

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[Patty Larceny steals the White Pass and Yukon Route from the Yukon Territory, Canada.]

Chief: This is Patty Larceny.
Rockapella: (singing) P-P-P-Patty
Chief: A thief with misguided manners, she'll send out a thank you note after she robbed you. Her last known whereabouts: Yukon Territory, Canada. When a gold rush hit the Yukon in the late 1890s, miners faced a tough challenge. The average miner made 15 trips across 30 odd miles of rugged trails just to lug in his gear, but that was before the White Pass and Yukon Route Railroad connected Skagway, Alaska with Whitehorse, Yukon Territory. Nearly a century later, trains chug along the same scenic route, now carrying summer tourists instead of prospectors. At least they chugged until today when Patty Larceny engineered a scheme to derail the railroad. She's conspired to commit the cruelest con in the Yukon. The preppy perpetrator absconded with the engine and took up the tracks. She's expecting to prosper at prospecting, gumshoes, but you must teach her that a life of crime can only lead to fool's gold. Today's case.
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: MINING CRIME STATION!

Who Heisted the Humps? [4.19]

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[Top Grunge steals the camels from North Africa.]

Chief: This is Top Grunge.
Rockapella: (singing) Top Grunge
Chief: That biker with a brutal B.O. who bags booty for Carmen Sandiego. His last known whereabouts: North Africa. About 2,000 years ago, dromedary camels began trekking the North African deserts. The camel were brought there by traders who used them as pack animals. You see, camels travel so well in hot, dry sandy conditions they were nicknamed "Ships of the Desert." Their wide-padded feet move easily over sand, and camels can go without weeks without water. But they don't store water in their humps, as many people believed. Camels store fat in their humps which they use for energy. But today, those humps got jumped. Top Grunge dirtied the dunes of North Africa to fill some new friends. Why camels? Well, they're animals that spit and smell, so the attraction was natural. But now, those camels are holding their noses waiting for you to save them. Gumshoes, get a grip on Grunge, then close the book on today's case...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...WHO HEISTED THE HUMPS?

A Toon for the Misbegotten [4.20]

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[Wonder Rat steals Sullivan Bluth Studios from Dublin, Ireland.]

Chief: This is Wonder Rat.
Rockapella: (singing) Wonder Rat
Chief: His cape is lame-o. His ears are fake. His crime career's a big mistake. His last known whereabouts: Dublin, Ireland. What do the movies Rock-a-Doodle, An American Tail, and Thumbelina have in common, besides the fact you ragged on your little sister when she asked to see them, hmm? All three were produced by one of Europe's largest animation studios, Don Bluth Ireland. Don Bluth learned the animation business when he worked at Walt Disney Studios in California, and in 1985, he moved to Dublin and started his own animation studio. Now he has over 200 employees who create animated full length films. But today, one cretinous cartoon creation popped off the page. Wonder Rat, that animation on probation, skipped out just as he was sketched in. That repulsive rodent scampered through the studio, wiping out every artist supply and artist at Don Bluth. He even used his magnetic swiss swiper, all to get a starring role in his own feature film. Gumshoes, wrangle that rat and close the book on today's adventure...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief ...A TOON FOR THE MISBEGOTTEN!

Evil to the Core [4.21]

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[Kneemoi steals the core from the center of the Earth.]

Chief: This is Kneemoi.
Rockapella: (singing) Kneemoi
Chief: That problem glob who robs for Carmen Sandiego. Her last known whereabouts: the center of the Earth. Our planet isn't just a big ball of dirt and water. At Earth's surface is a thin layer of rock called the crust, and under that, another thicker layer of rock, some solid and some molten liquid, called the mantle. Below that, about 1,800 miles beneath Earth's surface is the core. Its outer part is liquid but the inner core is a solid hot ball of iron. How hot is it? Oh, about 12,000 degrees fahrenheit at its center. But it's cooling fast, gumshoes, because today, nefarious Kneemoi entered Earth's orbit. She carved and quartered the globe like a Tootsie Pop planet, then slithered in, and slurped up Earth's soft and sweet chewy center. Oh, gumshoes, restore the core and close the book on today's caper...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...EVIL TO THE CORE!

E Pluribus Steal 'Em [4.22]

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[Double Trouble steal the bald eagles from the Chilkat River in Alaska.]

Chief: This is Double Trouble.
Rockapella: (singing) Double Trouble (Trouble)
Chief: Two primate cellmates who copped cool contraband for Carmen Sandiego. Their last known whereabouts: the Chilkat River, Alaska. The bald eagle, a strong, proud symbol of our nation and just maybe, a hair club client. Between October and January each year, more than 3,000 bald eagles flock to a short stretch of Alaska's Chilkat River. It's the largest known gathering of bald eagles on Earth. Why do they come? Well, most Alaskan rivers freeze in winter, but a flow of warm water keeps the one section of the Chilkat open. That allows the majestic eagles to fly in and feast on the late autumn run of salmon. But the feathers really flew in Alaska today when those birdbrains Double Trouble flapped in. After scanning the skies for birds to burgle, they launched a plan to just wing it. Soaring over the Chilkat, those hang gliding hoodlums enthralled the bald eagles, then hauled them away. Now they plan to party hardy on the 4th of July unless you stop them. Gumshoes, close the book on today's case...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...E PLURIBUS STEAL 'EM!

Folla That Koala [4.23]

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[Robocrook steals the koalas from Australia.]'

Chief: This is Robocrook.
Rockapella: (singing) Robocrook
Chief: A rebel of trouble who clinks and clanks for Carmen Sandiego. His last known whereabouts: Australia. You can call koalas cute and cuddly. Just don't call them bears. The lovable koala is a kind of marsupial, a mammal that carries its babies in a pouch, and like many marsupials, koalas are found wild only in Australia, where they've become a national symbol. But times are tough for koalas these days. Home and road building have destroyed most of their habitat, which koalas need for their special diet of eucalyptus leaves. This and other problems now threaten the koalas survival. But things got even worse today when Robocrook popped into Australia and stirred up some strife. Never want to give anybody a fair shake, the recidivist robot have branched out into collapsing koalas. He poached 'em, he pouched 'em, and then he pounced away. Gumshoes, muzzle that mechanical marsupial and crack today's case...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...FOLLA THAT KOALA!

Nice Geysers Finish Last [4.24]

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[Sarah Nade steals the Hot Springs from New Zealand.]

Chief: This is Sarah Nade.
Rockapella: (singing) Sarah Nade
Chief: Carmen's criminal crooner with a voice so bad, it's a weapon. Her last known whereabouts: New Zealand. Rotorua, New Zealand sits right on top of an active volcanic zone. Now that means underground volcanoes sputter up steam through cracks in the Earth's surface, sending geysers into the air and creating pools of mineral water and boiling mud. Tourists enjoy relaxing soaks in the waters while locals use a natural steam to heat their homes and swimming pools, and even steam their food. At least they did until today, but now Rotorua residents are really steamed. Sarah Nade trucked into town, then rolled on down to the springs. She wanted cruel new effects for her concert tour, and a steaming spring seemed just the thing. Sarah grabbed the geysers for her rocking road show, then hightailed it onto the highway. Gumshoes, don't let Sarah prove today's case...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...NICE GEYSERS FINISH LAST!

Cheetahs Never Win [4.25]

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[The Contessa steals the cheetahs from Namibia.]

Chief: This is Contessa.
Rockapella: (singing) Contessa
Chief: A highfalutin felon who finagles finery for Carmen Sandiego. Her last known whereabouts: Namibia. Etosha Game Park in Namibia is home to many kinds of animals, but the fastest in fur are the cheetahs. These big cats run up to 70 miles an hour, making them the speediest land mammals on Earth. That speed, plus their keen eyesight and camouflage coat, make cheetahs excellent hunters. But for decades, humans have hunted cheetahs for their beautiful coats, and farmers now use much of the land where cheetahs once roamed. That's why cheetahs are an endangered species. Namibia's one of the few places where they still survive. At least they did until today when the Contessa focused her fancies on feline finery. Conjuring up a case of catnip, she smelt up the pelt, and made all the cheetahs cheery. Then she went for a jaunt in her Jeep, and the enraptured cat encountered capture. Contessa crated the creatures and codded them to her cabana. You've got to track them down, gumshoes, and solve today's case...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...CHEETAHS NEVER WIN!

The Stoler Eclipse [4.26]

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[Wonder Rat steals the Sun]

Chief: This is Wonder Rat.
Rockapella: (singing) Wonder Rat
Chief: Voted most likely to be a rodent by his high school class, he's a faux fur felon for Carmen Sandiego. His last known whereabouts: the Sun. Now if you need a map to find this place, you're in trouble. Our Sun is really a medium-sized star, a huge ball of blazing hot gases where temperatures range from about 10,000 degrees on the surface to over 25 million degrees at the center. But don't believe me? Well, go measure for yourself. As a star, the Sun is nothing special, but without its light and warmth, life on Earth as we know it would cease to exist. And that cute little Coppertone girl would be out of a job. Luckily, the Sun's been around for more than 4 1/2 billion years. But it was a real sundowner at high noon today when Wonder Rat jacked up his custom-built Eclipse-O-Matic, then hijacked Ol' Sol from the sky. Now that rat's catching rays in his own private beach, but you got to catch him, gumshoes. Light up our lives again by stopping...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...THE STOLER ECLIPSE!

Craven Raven Knavery [4.27]

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[Vic the Slick steals the ravens from the Tower of London in England.]

Chief: This is Vic the Slick.
Rockapella: (singing) Vic the Slick
Chief: He's wanted for robbery and assault with a deadly fabric. His last known whereabouts: London, England. Ravens, they're big, they're black, they're related to crows, and they're on the payroll at the Tower of London. No one's sure when ravens started living at the tower, but legend says the British Empire will collapse if the birds ever leave. So eight ravens are kept as full-time residents. Their wings are clipped so they can't fly away and the birds are cared for by the Royal Ravenmaster. He gets the ravens official food allowance about 15p a week, about 22¢ in U.S. currency. Or he did until today when Vic the Slick slithered in, tiptoeing through the tower ground. He raced to where the ravens roost, then baited the birds with prime slime steak. Vic used T-bones, of course, and that T can only stand for thief. Well, before you could say nevermore, those ravenous ravens have flown the coop with Vic. Now, gumshoes, it's up to you to stop this terrible...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...CRAVEN RAVEN KNAVERY!

Carmen: The heat's on, Vic. Whisk those ravens to a peninsula on the Red Sea.
Vic: I gotta leave now? But I'm getting my mustache sharpened tomorrow.
Carmen: No time for that. Now, listen. There's a 1,400-year-old monastery on this peninsula, and its library used to have one of the world's oldest bibles.
Vic: Used to? What, somebody put it back on the wrong shelf?
Carmen: In the mid-1800s, someone borrowed the Bible and never returned it.
Vic: Wow. Let's see...[mutters to himself while doing some calculations] ...10¢ a day, 52,500 a day [amazed] Ooh, no wonder it wasn't returned! The overdue fine's a fortune!

The Tortoise and the Snare [4.30]

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[Top Grunge steals the Galápagos tortoises from the Galápagos Islands]

Chief: This is Top Grunge.
Rockapella: (singing) Top Grunge
Chief: That psycho on a cycle who swindles swag for Carmen Sandiego. His last known whereabouts: the Galápagos Islands. Ecuador's Galápagos Islands are named for the famous giant tortoises that live there. Galápagos also means saddle in Spanish, roughly describing the size and shape of the tortoises' shells. Charles Darwin first studied these creatures in the 1830s, and back then, there were a couple hundred thousand of the big guys who can weigh up to 600 pounds. But now, partly due to loss of their habitat, only about 15,000 remain. The Charles Darwin Research Center breeds Galápagos tortoises and protects them from extinction. Or it did until today when the Galápagos got grunged. Carmen's bad biker rolled through the islands and lifted every last lumbering tortoise. He thinks there'll be the new rage in biking head gear: shellmets. Gumshoes, you've got to end today's felonious fable...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief ...THE TORTOISE AND THE SNARE!

Snug As a Thug in a Rug [4.31]

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[Sarah Nade steals the rugs from Morocco.]

Chief: This is Sarah Nade.
Rockapella: (singing) Sarah Nade
Chief: That boku tattoo teen who cribs for Carmen Sandiego. Her last known whereabouts: Morocco. It begins with a young Moroccan girl watching her mother weave. Overtime, she too will learn the skills and creative spirit needed to craft a Moroccan rug. Carpets unlike others aren't prized for their technical perfection or rigid patterns. That's because Moroccan rug makers are more concerned with self-expression in what they create. The unusual designs and bright colors often found in Moroccan carpets reflect the artistic sense of the individual weaver. But the rugs got pulled out from under those weavers today. Sarah Nade floated in on her own tragic carpet, then staged an airborne rock show. Her transcendental tunes sent carpets flying and charmed them right out of Morocco. Gumshoes, you've got to unravel today's case...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...SNUG AS A THUG IN A RUG!

O Stole Mio [4.32]

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[Double Trouble steal the gondolas from Venice, Italy.]

Chief: This is Double Trouble.
Rockapella (singing) Double Trouble (Trouble)
Chief: Those no-good ne'er-do-wells who nab nice stuff for Carmen Sandiego. Their last known whereabouts: Venice, Italy. Built on more than 100 small islands, Venice is famous for its canals that function as streets. These days, most Venetians travel by motorboat, but for 900 years, gondolas were the way to go. Long, narrow canal boats propelled by a pilot in back using one oar. More than 10,000 gondolas once cruised through Venice, but just a few hundred remain, kept mostly for tourists. But today, the gondola count dropped to zero when those Venetian cretins Double Trouble dropped into town. They cruised the canals in their crime trap, roped up the boats, and left oarsmen all struck along the way. Now Venice has this sinking feeling that its gondolas are going, going, gone. Gumshoes, capture those canal conniving kin, then close the book on today's case...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...O STOLE MIO!

A Disaster Aria [4.33]

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[Contessa steals the Manaus Opera House.]

Chief: This is Contessa.
Rockapella: (singing) Contessa
Chief: An uppity upper-crust up to no gooder who uproots loot for Carmen Sandiego. Her last known whereabouts: Manaus, Brazil. The mysterious part of the Amazon rainforest, home to strange plants, unusual animals, and a turn of the century opera house. Built when Manaus was a rich center of the booming rubber trade, the Teatro Amazonas once attracted opera lovers from around the world. But when the boom times left Manaus, so did opera. The theater was almost silent from 1907 until 1990. That's when an ambitious renovation ended which restored Teatro Amazonas to its past glory. But today, the fat lady stopped singing again. The Contessa, that swanky silent of sneak, swept in, set her sights, and then swooped down. A smoky cloud provided a shroud while she tied up the Teatro. Now she's hidden it in a secret location where she listens to her very own opera, "The Contessa Cantata." Gumshoes, I'm declaring today case...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...A DISASTER ARIA!

Carmen: Contessa, go to a mountainous country on the Adriatic Sea. Until recently, brutal dictators kept it one of the most isolated nations on earth.
Contessa: Carmen, darling I can get isolation in prison! Don't you have a more inspired chore?
Carmen: You want inspiration? Then, learn about Besa. When people in this country give their word, their Besa, they do almost anything not to break it.
Contessa: Oh, honesty is so boring. Surely there is something for me to do.
Carmen: Well, the country does have some of the world's largest Chromite deposits. You can kill time checking out your reflection.

Chief: (at the end of the 1st round) And our ACME Voice Identification Badge and Leave A Message Wallet. (opens it up, revealing an image of the Contessa) It's our secret weapon in a fight against Carmen and her gang, right? (presses a button)
Chief: (on recorder) Right. Well, sorta.
Chief: Sorta-- Sorta?! Oh, I'm not paying you to say sorta! Greg!
Greg: (as he, the Chief, and the gumshoes prepare for departure to Honshu Island, Japan) Work. Okay, guys, time for us to go off--
Chief: Greg, would you please take that jacket to the cleaners?! That ketchup stain's been on there since last season.
Greg: She does have a point. You guys ready to go? We're goin' to Sado. Come on. Grab the hat. Out the door. Somebody grab me! I got the Chief! We're goin' to Sado.
Greg: (while traveling) Well, Chief, I did it. I rounded up a posse.
Chief: Next time, Greg, uh, let's try it with live horses.

Contessa: Prison life is so uncivilized! 600 cells and not a room service menu in sight! Tell Carmen this is more than I can bear. She went to North America.

Steel Felon Steals Steel Phantom [4.34]

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[Robocrook steals the Steel Phantom from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania]

Chief: This is Robocrook.
Rockapella: (singing) Robocrook
Chief: He's synthetic. He's magnetic. But most of all, he's pathetic. His last known whereabouts: Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Greater Pittsburgh's Kennywood Amusement Park has been called the roller coaster capital of the world. If you want a fast reason why, check out the Steel Phantom. In 1991, the Steel Phantom opened at the world's biggest and fastest roller coaster. It hits speed at 80 miles an hour and plunges over 200 feet off a cliff, guaranteed to make you scream your lungs out. Using computers and the latest poster technology, the Steel Phantom includes a vertical loop, a boomerang configuration, and a partial corkscrew, guaranteed to make me lose my lunch. But if you really wanna get queasy, check out what happened today. Robocreep coasted into Kennywood, then rocked the rails, and zapped the tracks from under the Phantom. After finishing the filch with his magnetic amusement moocher, that tinhead reopened the ride at his Robocoaster theme park. Gumshoes, find that phantom and solve today's case...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...STEEL FELON STEALS STEEL PHANTOM!

Greg: (after the office segment) You know, I gotta tell you, it's kinda embarassing having two grown people actin' like that about a silly little dog movie. (laughs) ("Frou-Frou" starts barking) (runs back to the office) FROU-FROU!!! FROU-FROU!!!

Carmen: Get that coaster rolling to the capital of Morocco. Look for Couscous and Harira.
Robo: Those words are not in my database.
Carmen: They're Arabic words from Morocco's spicy soups and stews. People there also eat Pigeon Pie and salads with liver and lamb brains.
Robo: Those foods are not in my database.
Carmen: Robo, not everyone thinks gear oil is fine dining. People have different tastes. Some Moroccans have different table manners, too. They think metal utensils taste bad and carry germs, so they eat with their fingers, instead.
Robo: Carmen, what will I do? My fingers are metal utensils.

Greg: (as he, the Chief, and the gumshoes prepare for departure to Kathmandu Valley, Nepal) Thank you, Buddy. Okay, guys, time for us to go to Kathmandu Valley--
Chief: Greg!
Greg: Yes?
Chief: Oh, Greg, watch out! You're wiping your jacket on my nose!
Greg: I'm sorry! Gee whiz. Okay, guys, ready to go? You got the hat. You got the door. I got the Chief. We are on our way to Kathmandu.
Chief: (while traveling) Greg, if we could ski on this, we can ski on anything.
Greg: Good thing, Chief. The hot lava fields are just ahead.

Robo: RoboCrook Unit-059 calling. According to my default program, when imprisoned for more than 11 seconds, I automatically rat on my owner. Look for Carmen in South America.

The Acropolis Topple Fuss [4.35]

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[Eartha Brute steals the Acropolis.]

Greg: They're back from their big world tour with Gumby. Give it up for 'em.
Rockapella: Rockapella! Whoo-hoo!

Chief: This is Eartha Brute.
Rockapella: (singing) Eartha Brute, huh
Chief: Her eyes are shifty, she can bench press 850. Her last known whereabouts: Athens, Greece. Many Ancient Greek towns had an acropolis, a fortified hill used for defense, but when you say the Acropolis, then the city can only be Athens. The Acropolis wasn't used for defense. It was covered with buildings and sculptures dedicated to gods and goddesses revered by the Ancient Greeks. But the Persians destroyed much of the Acropolis over 2,000 years ago while thieves and pollution have also taken their toll over the centuries. Still, 5,000,000 tourists a year flocked to see the beautiful ancient ruins of the Acropolis. But today, Athenians looking skyward yelled, "It's a bird! It's a plane! It's Eartha in a chariot?" No, it's not a myth, gumshoes. That goddess of greed zoomed in, zapped the Acropolis, then zipped it away. And the gods will be crazy if it's not put back. Gumshoes, only you can end...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...THE ACROPOLIS TOPPLE FUSS!

Chief: (in a depressed tone) Greg, would you come in here please?
Greg: Well, sure, Chief. I'll be right there. You know what, this is weird, but I've never seen her this upset. I'll be right back. Hold on. (enters the office where she is packing her things) Chief, what are you doing?
Chief: What does it look like I'm doing? I'm packing my bags.
Greg: But, Chief, listen. The Office Wiener-Roast isn't for a couple of months yet! What are you-- (helps the Chief pack her hat rack)
Chief: Well, I've been let go.
Greg: Let go of what, Chief?
Chief: My job. (sobs) I'm no longer the Chief. They've given me a promotion. It's a disaster.
Greg: Well, I'm not following you, Chief.
Chief: Well, it's really quite simple, Greg.
Greg: Yeah.
Chief: See, they made you the new Chief.
Greg: This is a disaster. There must be some mistake here. Tell you what, Chief. I'm gonna make a few calls. You go ahead and do the contest on your own. Okay?
Chief: All right. (does the contest rules while packing a big plastic pickle)
Greg: Okay, thanks a lot. And congratulations to all the winners. Okay. (hangs up the phone) It's done.
Chief: I can stay?!
Greg: That's right! You can stay. But you know, 'til they process all the paperwork, I'm still technically the Chief. So--
Chief: Greg?
Greg: Yeah?
Chief: Go away.
Greg: Okay. (exits the office)
Chief: Here you go. (she hangs up a hang-up turkey)
(Greg returns to the gumshoes, where Pinch, dressed in his attire, awaits by the monitor)
Pinch: Okay, gumshoes, it's time for one of my favorite parts of the show. It's time for the Thunder Round!
Greg: Pinch! Pinch! Pinch! Pinch! What's the deal?
Pinch: I'm the new host.
Greg: (laughs) We gotta talk.
Both: Phone Tap.

Greg: (as he, the chief, and the gumshoes prepare for departure to Geneva, Switzerland) Thank you, Chief. Okay, you guys ready to travel--
Chief: Greg, remind Mrs. Pumpkinclanger to take in our mail.
Greg: Okay, great idea, Chief. You know, by the way, (notices her as a still image on the screen smiling) you're lookin' kinda stiff today. (laughs) Okay, guys, you're ready to go to Switzerland? Mary, take my hat. Laqwanna, get the door. Out we go. We're goin' to Switzerland, folks.
Chief: (while traveling) Greg, I hope the gumshoes are strapped in tightly.
Greg: Yep, I crazy glued 'em to their seats for safety.

Rockapella: (each time the Acropolis is revealed)
Copped Acropolis!
Heisted Hilltop!
Temple-Ectomy!
Parthenon, begone!
Zeus on the loose!
The gods must be crazy!
Robbed Ruins!
Any day now!

Rockapella: (each time the shoeprints are revealed)
Yodel-ay-hee-hoo!
Medic!
Oh, yeah! But no!
(operatic tone) LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

Greg: St. Bernard Tunnel. (The Warrant is revealed to Greg's Surprise) OH!!!
Rockapella: The Warrant!
Laqwanna: Glac--
Greg: Oh!
Laqwanna: Glacier Gard--
Greg: Wait a minute! Hold! Wait a second! The Loot! The Warrant! We're looking for the crook. I think you know where she is.
Laqwanna: Glacier Gardens.
Greg: (to the board; shouting) Is she still... at Glacier... GARDENS!? (Eartha is revealed)
Rockapella: (sing) Eartha Brute! HUH! You've won! (sings their fanfare as the confetti falls on Laqwanna)

Eartha: (groans) This prison gym is terrible! I can only bench press 1,000 pounds! Make Carmen bring me more weights. You'll find her in Africa.

The Hot Ice Heist [4.36]

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[Contessa steals the snow sculptures from Quebec City's Winter Festival.]

Chief: This is Contessa.
Rockapella: (singing) Contessa
Chief: Carmen Sanidego's bogus baroness of burglary. Her last known whereabouts: Quebec City, Canada. Long, harsh winters are common here, but citizens still enjoy outdoor fun, especially their annual Winter Carnival. Two weeks of frosty festivities including this top attraction: snow sculptures. Everyone builds snowy statues from local kids to international artists competing for big prizes. There's even a snow palace, a full-size castle built entirely from snow. Yep, it wouldn't be Winter Carnival without snow sculpture, and that's why Quebec's bumming big time because today, Contessa crept into Quebec City and connived her way into the carnival. She snagged all the statues and plowed them plumb off the plat, I mean, mat. Now, she's taking them to a secret hideaway where she uses them to keep her caviars cold. Gumshoes, find the stolen statues and crack today's case...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief ...THE HOT ICE HEIST!

Alphabet Scoop [4.38]

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[Patty Larceny steals the Chinese written language from China.]

Chief: This is Patty Larceny.
Rockapella: (singing) P-P-P-Patty
Chief: A bubbly blonde with bright eyes on big bucks for Carmen Sandiego. Her last known whereabouts: China. The Chinese system of writing dates back more than 4,000 years. It doesn't use letters like we're used to seeing in English. Written Chinese consists of about 50,000 characters and each one stands for a word or part of a word. For example, this is the character for mouth, and this is the character for dog. Now you put them together and arf-arf, that's how you write bark. But they couldn't write anything in China today. Patty Larceny mused in a museum on this spot, that Chinese characters would look great in her room, so with a wave of the wand, she whipped to China where Patty picked off the pictographs, copped the calligraphy, and wronged the writing. She's stolen the written language of China. Gumshoes, teach that decadent decorator some decorum. Today's case.
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ALPHABET SCOOP!

15 Minutes of Infamy [4.39]

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[Sarah Nade steals Andy Warhol's Portraits of Marilyn Monroe from Pittsburgh and London.]

Chief: This is Sarah Nade.
Rockapella: (singing) Sarah Nade
Chief: A vile voice villain who vacuums vaults for Carmen Sandiego. Her last known whereabouts: Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania and London, England. Andy Warhol was one of pop art's greatest artists. His radical work filled with common images like Brillo boxes and Campbell's soup cans, and famous faces redefined what people called art, mostly Warhol had stopped painting with brushes. He produced his work using a process called silk screen printing. Warhol's prints of Marilyn Monroe in different colors and arranged in rows are known the world over. Several now hang in London's famed Tate Gallery and more Marilyns will be on view in the new Warhol Museum in his hometown in Pittsburgh. But last night, those Warhols walked. That Marilyn moocher Sarah Nade tethered into the cape and picked off the paintings. While alarm bells shrieked, she hoisted them skyward and then coptered away. The police and tape director twitched their arms in disbelief while tadpoles jumped off one of their heads. Gumshoes, don't let Sarah have her...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...15 MINUTES OF INFAMY!

Get Those Gargoyle-Grabbing Geeks [4.41]

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[Double Trouble steal Notre Dame Cathedral's gargoyle statues from Paris, France]

Chief: This is Double Trouble.
Rockapella: (singing) Double Trouble (Trouble)
Chief: The Tweedledee and Tweedledum of Carmen's twerps. Their last known whereabouts: Paris, France. About 800 years ago, workers started building Notre Dame Cathedral. It took almost a century to finish and still stands today. Inside, beautiful stained-glass paintings and carvings illustrate religious scenes, but on the outside walls of Notre Dame, you'll find gnarly little beasts called gargoyles. Sculptures made them gargoyles as ugly and frightening as possible. The idea was to scare away demons, so that the inside of the church would remain peaceful. Well, the scare tactic worked until today when those dorky double-dealing demons named Double Trouble pulled into Paris. They climbed the cathedral, then quickly changed from gargoyle greeters to gargoyle grabbers. Now those bad boys want to party hearty with their newfound frightful friends. Gumshoes, your mission is clear.
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: GET THOSE GARGOYLE-GRABBING GEEKS!

Thief Chisels Chief [4.44]

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[Wonder Rat steals Crazy House Monument from the Black Hills of South Dakota.]

Chief: This is Wonder Rat.
Rockapella: (singing) Wonder Rat
Chief: A case concede cerr who carts off contraband for Carmen Sandiego. His last known whereabouts: the Black Hills, South Dakota. When sculptor Korczak Ziolkowski died in 1982, he left behind a literal mountain of unfinished work. Namely, a mammoth monument called the Crazy Horse Memorial. Since 1947, Korczak had been transforming an entire mountain into the image of the Oglala Sioux chief Crazy Horse. The sculpture was creating the memorial to honor the heritage of Native Americans. Today, work continues on the unfinished Crazy Horse. Korczak's wife and children have vowed to fulfill his dreams. But today, that dream became a nightmare. Wonder Rat's monumental ego got the better of him. The repugnant rodent stole the statue and choppered it off. Soon, it will be his mug on the memorial pointing the path to mountainous mayhem. Gumshoes, get that rat off his high horse and solve today's case...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...THIEF CHISELS CHIEF!

Constellation Consternation [4.47]

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[Kneemoi steals the Southern Cross (Crux) from the Southern Sky.]

Chief: This is Kneemoi.
Rockapella: (singing) Kneemoi
Chief: That interstellar stealer of stellar stuff for Carmen Sandiego. Her last known whereabouts: the Southern Sky. The view of space from Earth's Southern Hemisphere is quite different from the view in the north. For this reason, many of the star patterns called constellations are unique to the Southern Sky. The most visible and famous of all southernly constellation is called Crux, the Southern Cross. The pattern of four bright stars that form Crux has captures imaginations for centuries. In fact, this constellation is so well-known that five countries in the Southern Hemisphere now honor Crux on their flags. But there was dishonor in the skies tonight. That unheavenly body Kneemoi cribbed Crux and every southern constellation. After whirling herself in a burgling black hole, she snarked up the stars, then swapped the space-time continuum. Now the only view of Crux is from the southernly skies of Roddenberry. Gumshoes, you've got to nebulize Kneemoi and crack today's case...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...CONSTELLATION CONSTERNATION!

To Bead or Not to Bead? [4.48]

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[Patty Larceny steals the Maasai Beads from East Africa.]

Chief: This is Patty Larceny.
Rockapella: (singing) P-P-P-Patty
Chief: The well-mannered crook who wrote The Book on Jailhouse Etiquette. Her last known whereabouts: East Africa. The Maasai are traditional cattle herding people of the East African plains, and for generations, it's been a tradition for the Maasai to wear spectacular beadwork. Glass beads were introduced to the Maasai by Arab Caravan traders. The beads were then crafted into all kinds of body ornaments. But Maasai beadwork is worn for more than appearance. Their beads are also symbolic, from beaded earrings that indicate marriage status to necklaces that identify a woman's ethnic group. But today, those beads went bye-bye. Patty Larceny eased into East Africa to plot her bead misdeed. She hot-wired a safari Jeep, then made a clean sweep of every necklace and beaded bauble. Gumshoes, you have got to lasso Miss Larceny and close the book on today's caper...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...TO BEAD OR NOT TO BEAD?

The Greedhouse Effect [4.49]

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[Grunge steals Butchart Gardens.]

Chief: This is Top Grunge.
Rockapella: (singing) Top Grunge
Chief: He likes to steal, likes to fight us, also known for his bronchitis. His last known whereabouts: Victoria, British Columbia. In 1905, a woman named Jennie Foster Butchart was bumming over a big, ugly empty quarry near her home. She was struck with a notion of building a sunken garden in it. Ah, but Jennie didn't stop there. The surrounding acres were imaginatively landscaped into Japanese and Italian gardens, a rose garden, and countless lawns and flowerbeds. Words spread of her ever growing creation, bringing visitors from all around and Butchart Gardens still attracts thousands of flower lovers daily. But today, a wilting new fragrance filled the floral fields. It was the putrid perfume of Top Grunge, and delicate flower that he is, Grunge dropped anchor, and dragged off every pebble. He hoped to give his boss a bouquet, but the flowers fainted first from his fumes. Gumshoes, you've got to crack today's case...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...THE GREEDHOUSE EFFECT!

Greg: Now, for our next clue, we go to an average superhero with a above average costume. (a fanfare plays) Here... Is... (the set darkens and an "A" appears on the floor) ...ACME MAAAN!!!!
Rockapella: Look Out! Look Out! Ow! ACME Man! ACME Man! If he can do it, maybe anyone can!
(a man in a restraunt is having a drink and is about to add what appears to be salt to his fries, when ACME Man darts in)
ACME Man: Not so fast, my friend! The salt in that shaker is not what it appears to be. Allow me, ACME Man, to change it, while I give a clue to my friends at ACME. (cracks his knuckles, rolls his head, stretches, then the man hands him the shaker) Ha-ha-ha! (shoots lightning bolts from his fingertips into the shaker) Grunge is hiding in the Appalachian Mountains. You'll find him near the place where Kentucky, Tennessee, and Virgina all meet. (his lightning bolts malfunction and he accidentally shoots them in the man's shoulder) Sorry. (his bolts work again, and back to the salt shaker) It's were Daniel Boone placed his wilderness trail back in 1775. A trail which made it easier for settlers to go west! (his bolts stop, then he splatters some of the salt behind him, and hands the shaker back to the man) There you are, my friend. You may never know how close you came to putting sugar on your fries instead of salt. Are you not impressed? Of course you are! Am I not the greatest superhero of all time? Of course I am! For I am ACME Man! And I am going away! (he runs off smashing through glass)
Rockapella: ACME MAN!!!

Greg: (after showing an out-of-body experience of himself but younger) Huh? Huh? I'm working on that. Phone Tap.

Mrs. Pumpkinclanger: Ah-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh!
Greg: Just stay right here. Sounds like my next door neighbor, Mrs. Pumpkinclanger has her nickers in a knot again. Mrs. Pumpkinclanger, hey, what is botherin' you?!
Mrs. Pumpkinclanger: You're bothering me? Nothing. Notta as in nick-knot-near-noola. Zero. In fact, zero zero to be precise. You see, Top Grunge went to a west African country on the Gulf of Guinea. It's capital Accra is closer to zero degress latitude and zero degress longitude than any other capital city. Year ago, zero zero, and if you don't get after that awful Grunge person, it will be an enormous no-no.
Greg: So, you're okay?
Mrs. Pumpkinclanger: Well, yeah. (closes her curtains and her window drops)
Greg: Just thought I'd check. Little neighbor that I am.

Greg: (as he, the chief, and the gumshoes prepare for departure to Berlin, Germany) Okay, guys, it's time for us to go to Germany--
Chief: Greg!
Greg: Yeah, Chief?
Chief: Oh, Greg, be careful! You're knocking my head with your sleeve!
Greg: I'm sorry about that Chief. (shakes the screen) Okay, guys, grab the hat. Grab the door. I got the Chief. We're goin' to Germany. Here we go. Blastin' out-- We are blastin' outta here! Whoo! Whoo!
Greg: (while traveling) So, this button turns off the anti-gravity?
Chief: Yeah, and this button turns it back on.

Rockapella: (sings more sophisticated as Grunge is revealed both times in the 2nd round) Top Grunge

Greg: Hello? You like indiglass joke? Thank you. Well, thanks. We worked on it about 5 seconds actually. Yeah. What's that? She's right here. Okay. (hands Andrea the phone) It's for you.
Grunge: This jail cell is awful! No matter where I stand, I'm never more than 12 feet away from the soap. (sneezes) And it's all Carmen's fault! Go get her in Asia. (sneezes)

The Off-Course Norse Course [4.50]

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[Double Trouble steal the Viking Route to Newfoundland.]

Greg: Hey, they're just back from their sold out shows at the hole in the ozone layer...
Rockapella: Rockapella!
Greg: Ooh! Very nice. And as you know, the one of you who catches Carmen Sandiego today will get that trip to anywhere in North America, and as we say on the show, That is not bad!

Chief: This is Double Trouble.
Rockapella: (singing) Double Trouble (Trouble)
Chief: Those unsportsmanlike look-alikes who lift loot for Carmen Sandiego. Their last known whereabouts: the Northern Atlantic Ocean. For centuries, many people believed Columbus was the first European to land on what is now called America. Actually, a Norse name Leif Erikson and his Vikings landed there first 500 years before Columbus. Remains of houses at artifacts found at their settlement sites matched what was used in Iceland at that exact time. In fact, you can trace the Viking migration route on a map, from Norway to the Shetland and Faroe Islands, then onto Iceland and Greenland, and finally North America. But today, Double Trouble stepped back in time to commit a crime. They mooched the migration map. That left the Vikes vexed about where to go next, but those bad boys sail abraded on the high seas. Gumshoes, set 'em straight in today's case...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...THE OFF-COURSE NORSE COURSE!

Greg: Hey, Chief! Chief W-- What a minute, what is this? (sees a bag on her desk) I'll tell you whatever this is, it smells quite good. (pulls food out of the bag and sets it on the floor) As a matter of fact, I think there's food in here, and I do not think the Chief would mind if I had myself a little taste (starts eating it with chopsticks) Oh, this is great.
Chief: (walks in with a box) Oh, there you are, Greg.
Greg: Hi, Chief.
Chief: Hi.
Greg: I hope you don't mind I was just gettin' a little taste.
Chief: Oh, no. Have as much as you want.
Greg: Thanks a lot. (the Chief sets down the box) You sure you're not hungry? I mean this is delicious stuff.
Chief: Oh, no. That food's not for me.
Greg: Really. Who's it for?
Chief: (pulls a dog out of the box) It's for my dog.
Greg: It's for your dog?
Chief: Uh-huh. It's gourmet dog food for my cute little puppy.
Greg: Really? I believe it's actually quite good. (laughs) Mmm. (gives a taste with his fingers, then starts barking)
Chief: I think this is a good time to show today's contest winners. (Winners are shown while Greg is whimpering) (Chief does the contest information) (Greg is barking while eating out of a bowl with "Greg's" written in front of it and the puppy tries to join in, but the Chief pulls it back) Greg, stop it!
Greg: What?
Chief: Oh, you're eating dog food, for cryin' out loud!
Greg: Chief, come on. Do you really think I would eat dog food for a gag? Come on. (laughs)
Chief: Well, then I guess you're right.
Greg: Yeah.
Chief: It's probably just refried beans. Right?
Greg: Yeah, whatever. (drops the napkin on the desk and exits the office)
Chief: I'm sure it's not real. I mean, he wouldn't eat dog food, would he? No, he woul-- (she is holding the puppy near the bowl and the puppy starts eating)
Greg: (whistling while carrying a big bone) What? Old habits die hard. Phone Tap.

Carmen: Boys, head for an Asian country east of South Korea. Writers there started a form of poetry called Haiku.
Double Trouble: Poetry? We love rhyming! That's why our name is Double Trouble, Charmin' Carmen.
Carmen: A traditional Haiku doesn't rhyme. It's a short verse using nature or the seasons as a theme. A Haiku is just 3 lines long and exactly 17 syllables.
Double Trouble: Whoa! You have to count?
Carmen: It's not that tough, boys. Here's a Haiku I just wrote.
Cash, green as spring grass.
Jewels, glistening like snow.
Theft, always in season.
Double Trouble: Carmen, that's the sweet sound of poetic injustice.

Greg: (as he, the Chief, and the gumshoes prepare for departure to Montevideo, Uruguay) Thank you, Chief. We're late! We're on our way to Uruguay! Let's go, guys!
Chief: (while traveling) Greg, are the gumshoes on-board?
Greg: (imitating a ship captain's voice) Yes, we're meeting for shuffleboard over main deck at 2:00.
Chief: Marvelous!

Greg: Cunapiru Dam. (Shoeprints are revealed)
Sean: No cussing!

Rockapella: (becomes off-guard as Double Trouble are first revealed) Double Trouble! Double Trouble! Double Trouble!
Greg: Yeah, this of course is (points to their image and sings) Double Trouble!

Rockapella: YIIIII!!!

Chief: (at the end of the 2nd round) Hey, don't let those criminals get you down. (shows an organizer) Watch this. (presses a button which causes static) Okay. That's the button that turns off the TV. Now, this is the one that lets you write secret messages. And this the one that zaps it through the air to another secret sender. What else does this baby do? It stores names and addresses. Keeps your busy schedule organized. Leaves your daily horoscope. And if I press this button, yep. (the ACME Travel Pack is shown upside-down) That's the one that shows the ACME Travel Pack. Upside-down. LEMKE!!

Double Trouble: That Carmen's a party pooper. We've been in jail for 17 seconds already, and she hasn't even visited yet! Look for her in South America.

Season 5

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Carmen's Final Location

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Vic: These prison clothes offend my unique sense of fashion. Isn't my right to wear plaid in the Constitution? Carmen is in (Continent). Tell her to get me a lawyer.
Wonder Rat: Know why they call me Wonder Rat? 'Cause it's a wonder that I'd rat on my own boss. (giggles) Carmen scooted to (Continent). Go get her.
Patty: I just got back from the prison laundry, and they mixed colors and whites in the same wash! (cries) I can't stand it anymore! Go find Carmen in (Continent). Tell her to help me.
Robocrook: A virus has infected my system software. It causes me to divulge Carmen's location. You'll find her in (Continent). Please, don't say that I sent you.
Kneemoi: Prison sports are really fun. I get used as a frisbee, a dartboard, and a second base. Carmen should see me play, but she's in (Continent). Go find her.
Sarah: Aw, man! This prison life is bogus. The guards just confiscated my tattoos. Carmen's gotta spring me, but she's in (Continent). Go find her.
Contessa: This prison food is so dreadfully boring, I can't even get a jar of Grey Poupon. Maybe Carmen could help, but she's in (Continent). Go find her.
Double Trouble: We were partners in crime. We should be cellmates in jail, but the warden wants to split up this dream team. Carmen's laying low in (Continent). Tell her she's gotta help.
Grunge: (coughs) Prison life is so disgusting, I can't believe I have to live in a place this clean. (coughs) Carmen's hiding in (Continent). (snorts) Go tell her to spring me. (sneezes)
Eartha: I thought maybe I take some classes while I was in jail, but the warden says they don't have a nursery school. I need Carmen to help me, but she's in (Continent). Go get her.

Cats Nipped [5.1]

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[Vic the Slick steals all the Florida panthers]

Chief: This is Vic the Slick.
Rockapella: (singing) Vic the Slick
Chief: A low-class sleaze, he has no taste. Basically, the guy's a waste. His last known whereabouts: Southern Florida. A certain mouse with a theme park is this state's most famous animal, but for sheer beauty, it's tough to top the Florida panther. This sleek cat once roamed freely across the Southeastern US, but poachers, builders, and bad drivers have forced this feline to the edge of extinction. Today, no more than 50 panthers are left, isolated in a few areas of Southern Florida. Luckily, there are efforts underway to save these coolest of cats from vanishing forever. Until today, that is...
Rockapella: (singing) Oh, no!
Chief: ...when Vic the Slick pulled an Everglade rave. He catnapped those precious panthers, then suited them up for his feline football franchise. Gumshoes, I'm counting on you to crack today's case...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-oo-oo
Chief: ...CATS NIPPED!

A Sign of Trouble [5.2]

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[Wonder Rat steals the Hollywood sign from Los Angeles, California.]

Chief: This is Wonder Rat.
Rockapella: (singing) Wonder Rat
Chief: Thugging and thieving, that's his biz. The world's only crook who loves Cheez Whiz. His last known whereabouts: Los Angeles, California. In 1923, Hollywoodland was a posh new neighborhood in Los Angeles. As a sales gimmick, realtors had the word "Hollywoodland" built out of huge letters and placed atop nearby Mt. Lee. As Hollywood became the heart of the movie industry, the sign became a symbol of showbiz glamour. But the landmark letters fell into disrepair, and the word "land" was lost completely. In 1978, the Hollywood sign was finally rebuilt, and can still be admired from miles away. Or it could until today...
Rockapella: (singing) Ooh!
Chief: ...when Wonder Rat pulled a daring daylight heist. He hovered in on his cheddar chopper, grabble-hooked Hollywood, then hauled it away. That star-struck stooge thinks the sign will help his own cheesy career. Gumshoes, only you can solve today's case...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...A SIGN OF TROUBLE!

Jailhouse Rocked [5.3]

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[Vic the Slick steals Port Arthur Prison from Tasmania]

Chief: This is Vic the Slick.
Rockapella: (singing) Vic the Slick
Chief: A lowdown crook, a sly deceiver dresses like a reject from Saturday Night Fever. His last known whereabouts: Tasmania. Many of Australia's early immigrants were convicts from England, sent down under to do their time for such heinous crimes as hanky theft. Port Arthur Prison on Tasmania's Southeastern coast housed more than 12,000 inmates during its heyday in the 1800s. Some convicts there wore irons and were frequently flogged until some genius figured out that whippings made them more violent. Now the ruins of Port Arthur Prison stand as a grim reminder of a less kinder, gentler era. Or they did until today...
Rockapella: (singing) Oh, no!
Chief: ...when Vic the Slick tornadoed into Tasmania like a devil rodent he is. No crook likes a prison, so Vic saw a way to renew the ruins. He cut through the red tape and converted them from a pokey to a paid entry park. Gumshoes, go bust that bungling burglar, then solve today's case...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-oo-oo
Chief: ...JAILHOUSE ROCKED!

Minimum Security Prism [5.4]

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[Patty Larceny steals the Iguazu Falls rainbow from Argentina]

Chief: This is Patty Larceny.
Rockapella: (singing) P-P-P-Patty
Chief: Looks sweet, acts discreet, thinks that stealing's kind of neat. Her last known whereabouts: the border between Brazil and Argentina. With a span of over two miles, the mighty Iguazu are the world's widest waterfalls. When the churning waters of the Iguazu River cascade over cliffs and crash into the gorge below, the Earth shakes and the roar deafens. As water hits the rocks, a cloud of mist rises into the air and so, local Guarani Indians call this area, "the place where clouds are born." It's also the place where spectacular rainbows are constantly reborn as sunlight meets the mist. At least it was until today...
Rockapella: (singing) Oh, no!
Chief: ...when Patty Larceny wandered near the thundering waters and devised a devious deed for a rainbow ripoff. She positioned the mirror just right so it reflected the light into her rainbow robber. Now the world is in black and white and Patty's keeping the colored light for herself. Gumshoes, I'm counting on your brilliance to solve today's case...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-oo-oo
Chief: ...MINIMUM SECURITY PRISM!

What a Shell Lacking [5.5]

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[Vic the Slick steals the Green Sea Turtles from the Cayman Islands.]

Chief: This is Vic the Slick.
Rockapella: (singing) Vic the Slick
Chief: Used car salesman, then a lounge singer. Now he's Carmen's criminal swinger. His last known whereabouts: Cayman Islands. The Caymans were once called "los tortugas," or the turtles and have long been known for their turtle population. The native Green Sea Turtles are endangered, but there are also big business on the Grand Cayman turtle farm. The farm raises green turtles to be sold as meat, so folks can buy from them instead of hunting turtles illegally. But the U.S. and other countries won't import the farm's turtle products because the turtle's endangered species status, and that debate continued until today...
Rockapella: (singing) Ooh!
Chief: ...when Vic cruised to the Caymans, plunger in hand, and snarked every last turtle from sea to land. No one's sure if he wants them for soup or a sideshow. Gumshoes, you've got to end Vic's shell game and close today's case...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-oo-oo
Chief: ...WHAT A SHELL LACKING!

Time-X'd [5.6]

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[Robocrook steals the Astronomical Clock from Prague.]

Chief: This is Robocrook.
Rockapella: (singing) Robocrook
Chief: Screws in his head, bolts for brains. Follow his trail of rustoleum stains. His last known whereabouts: Prague, Czech Republic. Every hour on the hour for over 500 years, crowds have gathered before Prague's Old Town Hall to watch the Astronomical Clock put on its show. In addition to telling time, this amazing clock also tells the date and corresponding holiday, the day's length, the phases of the moon, the position of the Zodiac, even the time until the next solstice. Rebuilt and added on to over the centuries, this medieval marvel has withstood the many tests of time. But time ran out on the clock today...
Rockapella: (singing) Crime!
Chief: ... when Robocrook saw it was time to get a new watch. He rolled into Old Town, clamped his claws on the clock, then counted down to blastoff. Now he has no excuse for tardiness. Gumshoes, catch that clock-copping crockpot and crack today's case...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-oo-oo
Chief: ...TIME-X'D!

Learned Kneemoi [5.7]

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[Kneemoi steals the Tai Chi Chuan from China.]

Chief: This is Kneemoi
Rockapella: (singing): Kneemoi
Chief: She's robbed 52 planets in 12 dimensions, but is so darn cute it's beyond comprehension. Her last known whereabouts: China. On any given morning in China, you'll see people in gardens, parks, and on rooftops performing a series of curious looking stretches. These exercises called Tai Chi Chuan are a workout for both the mind and body. Tai Chi movements with unusual names like storks, spreads, wings, and bend bow, and shoot tiger require a good deal of strength and great concentration. The Chinese consider Tai Chi a kind of medicine and believe it helps prevent or cure illness. At least they believed it until today...
Rockapella: (singing): Crime!
Chief: ...when Kneemoi made a surprise visit to China. She saw all that balance and discipline and decided she wanted some too. Using the Roddenberrian mind meld which kind of tickles, she burgled everyones brain and removed all knowledge of Tai Chi from their heads. Now, no one's got the moves but Kneemoi. Gumshoes, you've got to unravel the riddle of today's case...
Rockapella: (singing): Woo-woo-ooo-oo
The Chief: ...LEARNED KNEEMOI!

Carmen: I want you to do some time traveling, Kneemoi.
Kneemoi: Ooh, you mean like going back to the future?
Carmen: No, like going across time zones. North America is divided into 10 of them and each zone usually means a one hour difference in time. Hide in Alberta province where it's one hour earlier than in a central time zone.
Kneemoi: You earthlings are too hung up on time. When you're talking light-years, an hour doesn't make any difference.
Carmen: Well, no one cared much how time was measured until the railroads came along. Then time had to be standardized so trains could keep to a schedule.
Kneemoi: Now, that gives me a fun idea. Why don't I steal the time zone? (laughs)

Rockapella: (Each time the Tai Chi Chuan is revealed in the 2nd Round):
Meditation mishap!
Holistic heist!
Chi chi chi bang bang!

Kneemoi: Prison sports are really fun! I get used as a Frisbee, a dartboard, and a second base! Carmen should see me play. But she's in South America. Go find her.

A Shriek of Nature [5.8]

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[Sarah Nade steals the Hawaii Volcanoes National Park from Big Island, Hawaii]

Chief: This is Sarah Nade.
Rockapella: (singing) Sarah Nade
Chief: She's going through a teenage phase and dyes her hair in many ways. Her last known whereabouts: Big Island, Hawaii. Where can you visit lava fields, desert, and tropical rainforests all in one day? No, it's not the virtual reality trade show, it's Hawaii's Volcanoes National Park. The park includes the active volcano Kilauea, often seen steaming and sputtering away. Hikers can walk the rim of Kilauea, trek through volcanic ash and pumice sand dunes, or visit the young rainforest on the wetter side of the mountain. There are many unusual sites to entertain the park's several million yearly visitors. Or there were until today...
Rockapella: (singing) Ooh!
Chief: ...when Sarah piloted her pirate vessel into Hawaiian waters. She hopped off the boat, whipped out her jackhammer, hacked the whole big park off the Big Island, and then hauled it away. She wants to use the volcanoes as heavy metal smoke machines. Gumshoes, pounce on that park poacher and solve today's case...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-oo-oo
Chief: ...A SHRIEK OF NATURE!

Wine Not [5.9]

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[Contessa steals South Africa's vineyards]

Chief: This is Contessa.
Rockapella: (singing) Contessa
Chief: Her accents fake, it's phony royal. This pompous jerk makes my blood boil. Her last known whereabouts: South Africa. On February 2nd, 1659, Jan van Riebeeck wrote in his diary, "Today, wine was pressed for the first time from cape grapes." Thus began South Africa's long history of winemaking. France's King Louis XVI stocked his cellar with South African wine. Napoleon demanded it when in exile on St. Helena Island. And today, South Africa's vineyards, located mostly on the Cape of Good Hope, produced some 600 million bottles of wine each year. Or they did until today...
Rockapella: (singing) Oh!
Chief: ...when Contessa crashed the cape in search of grape. Driving a customized bottle of chateau de fim la noire, she picked every last vineyard in the country clean. She'll never learn that theft just isn't chic. Gumshoes, put the grab on that grapacious Contessa and solve today's case...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-oo-oo
Chief: ...WINE NOT!

Danube-bee-doo-bee-duped [5.10]

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[Double Trouble steal the bridges from Budapest]

Chief: This is Double Trouble.
Rockapella: (singing) Double Trouble (Trouble)
Chief: A double whammy like flim and flammy, they're always on the lammy. Their last known whereabouts: Budapest, Hungary. Buda and Pest, the two halves of Hungary's capital, are separated by the Danube River, and until the Chain Bridge went up in 1849, it wasn't easy getting across. Citizens walked the frozen Danube in winter, and used a floating bridge in summer. But after that first bridge was built, seven more followed finally linking all parts of the city. All eight bridges were destroyed in World War II, but then rebuilt and have kept Budapest connected ever since. Or they did until today...
Rockapella: (singing) Ooh!
Chief: ...when Double Trouble buzzed Budapest in their stealth stealer. They swooped in low, grapple-grabber in tow, then the thieves stole all the links across the Danube. Now those loop-de-looping stooges want to open their own aerial stunt park. Gumshoes, bring in those bridge-boosting burglars and crack today's case...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...DANUBE-BEE-DOO-BEE-DUPED!

Stardust Buster [5.11]

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[Robocrook steals the Milky Way Galaxy]

Chief: This is Robocrook.
Rockapella: (singing) Robocrook
Chief: Don't be fooled by his silvery paint. One thing's for sure, the Tin Man he ain't. His last known whereabouts: the Milky Way Galaxy. A galaxy is a bunch of stars, planets, gases, and outer space dust bunnies held together by our friend Mr. Gravity. The Milky Way Galaxy is the intergalactic address for our solar system and perhaps billions of others. Celestial bodies revolve around the Milky Way center, much the way our planets revolve around the sun. Now why is it called the Milky Way? Because the view of the galaxy you see from Earth looks like a milky haze spreading across the sky. Or it did until today...
Rockapella: (singing) Ooh!
Chief: ...when Robocrook showed his fairest face in outer space. That heister hopped on his hyper Hoover, switched on the suction, and glommed the whole galaxy, then he staged his own test of the Big Bang Theory. Gumshoes, you've got to round up Robo and solve today's case...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-oo-oo
Chief: ...STARDUST BUSTER!

I've Been Burpin' on the Railroad [5.12]

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[Top Grunge steals the Mount Washington Cog Railway from New Hampshire.]

Chief: This is Top Grunge.
Rockapella: (singing) Top Grunge
Chief: Crossing over that traffic divider, he was an extra in Easy Rider. His last known whereabouts: Mount Washington, New Hampshire. Don't you just love the view from atop a tall mountain? Don't you really love when you don't have to hike to get there? Well, if you want to look out from atop Mount Washington, the famous Cog Railway is one way to go. Steam, created by burning coal, provides the power to turn a large gear called a cogwheel. Teeth on the gear hook into the track, moving the coach car up and down the mountain. For over a century, the Cog Railway has chugged folks 6,288 feet to Mount Washington Summit to enjoy the view. Or it did until today...
Rockapella: (singing) Ooh!
Chief: ...when New Hampshire's niceness was nasty by Top Grunge. He chased the train off the tracks, hopped into the coal car, naturally, and commandeered the Cog right off the rails. Gumshoes, get us back on track and solve today's case...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-oo-oo
Chief: ...I'VE BEEN BURPIN' ON THE RAILROAD!

The Lion Sting [5.13]

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[Patty Larceny steals the Seven Sacred Lions of Delos, Greece.]

Chief: This is Patty Larceny.
Rockapella: (singing) P-P-P-Patty
Chief: Face of an angel, soul of a crook. Her favorite three words are swiped, stole, and took. Her last know whereabouts: the Greek Island of Delos. In Greek mythology, the sun god Apollo was born in a lake on Delos, and for centuries, the island was a sacred site for his worshippers. Now lions were Apollo's sacred animal, so a row of roaring marble felines was installed to protect the lake of his birth. As many as 16 lions might have been created originally, but only seven of them are left today. At least one sacred lion was swiped, and we don't know what happened to the others. But there was no mystery when those last seven vanished today.
Rockapella: (singing) Ooh!
Chief: That greed goddess Patty dallied into Delos, and with her pink pickproof pretty collars, she leashed up the lions, then thundered away. That criminal kid will do anything to get an A. Gumshoes, you've got to cage that conniving crook in today's caper...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-oo-oo
Chief: ...THE LION STING!

Stormy Two's Day [5.14]

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[Double Trouble steal Mardi Gras from New Orleans]

Chief: This is Double Trouble.
Rockapella: (singing) Double Trouble (Trouble)
Chief: Two heads, one mind, four treads, two of a kind. Their last known whereabouts: New Orleans, Louisiana. Since 1857 crowds have flocked to New Orleans for the annual Mardi Gras celebration. Clubs, or crews, spend all year making wild costumes, masks, and floats. Then on the 12th night after Christmas, the fun begins. Spectacular balls, parades, and dancing in the streets. It all peaks on Mardi Gras, which means Fat Tuesday in French. That's the last day before the religious season of Lent begins. The idea is for folks to get in lots of partying before they start fasting for Lent, and party they do. Or at least they did...
Rockapella: (singing) Ooh!
Chief: ...until today when Double Trouble snuck through the crowd and pinched the whole party. Floats, flags, and all. Those Mardi-grabbing bad boys want to ball the fun for themselves. Gumshoes, pick up those party poachers and crack today's case...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-oo-oo
Chief: ...STORMY TWO'S DAY!

Wrestle Rustler [5.15]

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[Eartha Brute steals the sumo wrestling ring from Tokyo, Japan]

Chief: This is Eartha Brute.
Rockapella: (singing) Eartha Brute, huh
Chief: Pecs of steel, this gal can tussle and she's got a brain of muscle. Her last known whereabouts: Tokyo, Japan. Sumo wrestling may date back 2,000 years, and early matches were even held in Shinto shrines. The object in sumo is simple: knock your opponent out of the circle or down to the ground. What's not so simple is your opponent could weigh some 500 pounds. That immense weight helps wrestlers keep their balance in a match and it requires a special diet, mainly huge amounts of a high protein stew called Chanko Nabe. Yep, fans love watching their humongous heroes stomp, squat, crash, and collide until one of them is defeated. Or they did until today...
Rockapella: (singing) Ooh!
Chief: ...when Eartha Brute journeyed to Japan and set her sights on sumo. She waited till the crowds went home, crept back into the arena, then with a mighty heave-ho, she hoisted the sumo ring and hauled it away. Now she's planning a sumo-mania special on pay-per-view. Gumshoes, I'm counting on you to solve today's case...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-oo-oo
Chief: ...WRESTLE RUSTLER!

That Girl's Got Characters [5.16]

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[Patty Larceny steals the Korean alphabet from South Korea]

Chief: This is Patty Larceny.
Rockapella: (singing) P-P-P-Patty
Chief: Blond hair, blue eyes, in a fresh scrub sheen, she's twice been voted prison prom queen. Her last known whereabouts: South Korea. Written languages usually developed slowly overtime, but Korea's alphabet called Hangul was announced on December 25th, 1443. Before then, Korea used a form of Chinese alphabet, understood mainly by the elite. But Korean King Sejong wanted an easier written language that everyone could learn. So his experts created Hangul. These days, Hangul and Chinese are often combined, but Koreans remain proud of their homegrown alphabet. Hangul is honored each year with its own national holiday. Or it was until today...
Rockapella: (singing) Oh, no!
Chief: ...when Patty Larceny sauntered into South Korea, took a liking to the letters, and decided to take them all. She's always had a strong attraction to languages, so Patty maneuvered in her magnet moocher until every last character was captured. She plans to use them in a new line of fashion accessories. Gumshoes, it's up to you to solve today's case...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-oo-oo
Chief: ...THAT GIRL'S GOT CHARACTERS!

I Know Why No Rhino [5.17]

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[Top Grunge steals Zimbabwe's black rhinos.]

Chief: This is Top Grunge.
Rockapella: (singing) Top Grunge.
Chief: Acts crude, smells even cruder, his stuffy nose needs Roto-Rooter. His last known whereabouts: Zimbabwe. The massive black rhinoceros has roamed Africa for 60 million years. Rhinoceros means nose horn and the black rhino has two that it uses to protect itself. Those horns grow up to three feet long and that makes the black rhino a target for illegal hunters. The horns fetch a high price on the black market where they're often sold to make strange medicines and dagger handles. Hunted to near-extinction, there are fewer than 500 black rhinos left in Zimbabwe. Until today, that is...
Rockapella: (singing) Ooh!
Chief: ...when the count struck to naught, Top Grunge zipped into Zimbabwe looking for a new gang to ride with. He regaled the rhinos with tales of his travels so the rhinos decided to hit the road, then like a putrid pied piper, Grunge heisted every last horn. Gumshoes, you've got to round up that rhino rustler and solve today's case...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-oo-oo
Chief: ...I KNOW WHY NO RHINO!

Chief: Greg?
Greg: Yeah?
Chief: Would you come in here, please?
Greg: Yeah, Chief. I'll be right there. Lemme check with the Chief. I'll meet you guys out in the alley in just a moment. You guys come with me (enters the office) Chief, what's up?
Chief: There's something wrong with my darn desk! I can't get any work done! Watch this.
Greg: Okay.
(she picks up a pencil and drops it on the desk)
Voice: Oh.
Chief: See? I does that whenever I try to touch it. Look. (touches her desk)
Greg: Sure.
Voice: Oh. Oh.
Greg: Absolutely. Chief, let me tell you somethin'. (pulls out a stethoscope) It just so happens that I happen to be a board certified deskinarian specializing in desktop medicine.
Chief: You're a what?
Greg: I'm a deskinarian. And I'll tell you what. From what I've heard right now, your desk is in a lotta pain.
Chief: Why would my desk be in pain?
Greg: It could be you know one of many reasons, Chief, but I'll tell you, I'm not gonna waste anymore time. I'm gonna take a look if you don't mind. (places the stethoscope on the desk) Uh, cough please. (the Chief coughs) Not you. I'm talkin' to the--
(the voice coughs)
Chief: Oh! Oh, this is ridiculous. Oh, better do the contest or we'll be here forever. (does the contest rules)
Greg: Lift!
Chief: Lift?
(the desk arises)
Greg: Aha, Chief! (the desk has moving legs) I think I've found the problem. You wanna come down here and take a look? Uh-huh. Let me get that. Here, take a look at this. Right here. (shows a thistle) See that? It's a needle.
Chief: Looks like a thistle to me.
Greg: You're neddle a thistle the thing I have to do here is the same. (pulls out the thistle) All right, that should feel better, boy. I want you to go home and stay in bed for 3 days.
(the desk walks off)
Greg: What?
Chief: Why did you send it home?!
Greg: Chief, it just had major surgery. You can't expect it to go right back to work, and I'll tell you what else. I would get a nice get well card if I were you. Because everyone knows desks have feelings, too. (hands the Chief the thistle and exits the office leaving the Chief crawling while looking for a desk)

Scrolldies but Goodies [5.18]

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[Patty Larceny steals the Deas Sea Scrolls from Jerusalem]

Chief: This is Patty Larceny.
Rockapella: (singing) P-P-P-Patty
Chief: Face like an angel, manners from heaven, but she's plotting crime 24/7. Her last known whereabouts: Jerusalem. It said that in 1947, a young shepherd wandered into a cave in Jordan near the Dead Sea and stumbled onto one of the greatest discoveries of the century. His fine led to hundreds of manuscripts written 2,000 years ago that became known as the Dead Sea Scrolls. The scrolls contain the earliest known version of the Old Testament and shed light on the time when Judaism and Christianity were taking shape. Most of the scrolls are now housed in Jerusalem where scholars continue to study their secrets. Or they were until today...
Rockapella: (singing) Crime!
Chief: ...when that perky perp Patty journeyed to Jerusalem then scammed the scroll and planned her scam. She spun a balloon cocoon that circled the scrolls' domed home and the ancient loot lifted up, up, and away. Carmen's clueless crooks don't understand what Patty took but they don't need a reason to party. Gumshoes, it's up to you to close the book on today's case...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-oo-oo
Chief: ...SCROLLDIES BUT GOODIES!

The Cuba Missing Crisis [5.19]

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[Double Trouble steal Cuba from the West Indies]

Chief: This is Double Trouble.
Rockapella: (singing) Double Trouble (Trouble)
Chief: A couple of fellas with hair full of JELL-O who smell-a more swell-a than Rockapella. Their last known whereabouts: the West Indies. About 90 miles south of Miami, Florida lies the Caribbean Island of Cuba. The first Cubans were Indian peoples and the name comes from an Indian word, Cubanacan. Later, Europeans arrived bringing disease and slavery, and the native population largely vanished. Nowadays, most Cubans are of Spanish or African descent, and Cuban culture is an exciting mix of these two influences. Thousands of Cubans fled the country after Fidel Castro took power, but many dream of returning to Cuba when he's gone. At least they did until today...
Rockapella: (singing) Oh, no!
Chief: ...when beneath the high seas lurked those lowlifes Double Trouble in their super snarking submarine. They scoped the Cuban coast, liked what they saw, punched in the coordinates, and grabbed it with their claw. Well, both claws really. Now those bad beach boys have a prime place to party hearty. Gumshoes, there's no dancing around today's case...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-oo-oo
Chief: ...THE CUBA MISSING CRISIS!

Rockapella: (as Cuba is first revealed in the 2nd round) (off-key a bit) Havana Vanish!
Greg: (laughs) You guys wanna hit that one more time?
Rockapella: (on-key again) Havana Vanish!

Double Trouble: We were partners in crime. We should be cellmates in jail, but the warden wants to split up this dream team. Carmen's layin' low in North America. Tell 'er she's gotta help!

Take a Byte Out of Crime [5.20]

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[Robocrook steals the Internet.]

Chief: This is Robocrook.
Rockapella (singing): Robocrook
Chief: Has no grace. He's a lummox built with two cast-iron stomachs. His last known whereabouts: cyberspace. Cyberspace is the place where people communicate over computer networks and the mother of all networks is called the Internet. The Internet links thousands of smaller networks and millions of computer users in dozen of countries. People go online for everything from doing research to sending electronic mail to just plain chatting. You can even tour the White House on the Internet, all from your home computer. The possibilities are literally endless. Or they were until today...
Rockapella (singing): Oh, no!
Chief: ...when Robocrook took a peek at an unsuspecting geek and got an idea for a heinous high-tech heist. He blasted into orbit, plugged into a satellite, then intercepted the entire Internet. The world's wireheads wigged when their monitors frazzed, and now every bit and byte are in that two-bit burglar's brain. Gumshoes, it's up to you to solve today's system glitch...
Rockapella (singing): Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...TAKE A BYTE OUT OF CRIME!

Carmen: Robo, lay low on an island that borders the Coral Sea. Whatever you do, don't pet the birds.
Robo: How can I get in touch with my warm human side if you keep me away from coddling critters?
Carmen: You wouldn't want to get in touch with some pitohuis. It's the world's first known poisonous bird. Contact with it's feathers or skin causes a numbing sensation.
Robo: Like watching reruns of Star Trek?
Carmen: More like getting pins and needles. Scientists thought the pitohui's bright feathers were meant to attract mates, but now believe they maybe a warning against the poison.
Robo: Which reminds me, Carmen. It's time to change my anti-freeze.

Greg: Old Cowtown Museum. (Shoeprints are revealed)
Rockapella: (barking)
Greg: I don't get that.
Scott: We don't either.

Greg: Eisenhower Library. (Shoeprints are revealed)
Rockapella: We like Ike! But no!

Rockapella: (as Robo is first revealed) (imitates a buzzer sound) Robocrook! Robocrook! Robo--
(crowd gasps)
Greg: I'm sorry, that's-- (laughs) Surprised Rockapella on that one.

Greg: (a puppet appears with the phone) Oh, hey, look at that! A puppet! (the puppet nods its head, gives Greg the phone, and leaves) Thank you, Mr. Puppet. Hey! Hello? Yeah, she's right here. Hold on a second. We just got this phone from the puppet. (hands Lauren the phone) There ya go.
Lauren: Hello?
Robo: A virus has infected my system's software. It causes me to divulge Carmen's location. You'll find her in North America. Please! Don't say that I sent you.

A Frank Case of Theft [5.21]

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[Contessa steals the Anne Frank House from Amsterdam, Netherlands.]

Greg: (tied with Scott as the rest of Rockapella are waving from the window behind them) Hey, listen, they're with me everyday.
Scott: (sings) SCOTT LEONARD!!!
Greg: (points to the rest of Rockapella) Rockapella. (laughs) Quick reminder to you guys. The one of you that catches Carmen Sandiego today is gonna get that trip to anywhere in North America...
Scott: (finishes) And that isn't bad!
Greg: Yeah!

Chief: This is Contessa.
Rockapella: (singing) Contessa
Chief: She may be swell smelling, but she's also a felon. Her last known whereabouts: Amsterdam, The Netherlands. The Anne Frank House looks like many other homes in Amsterdam, but during World War II, teenager Anne and seven other Jews hid there to escape Nazi persecution. They were finally discovered and Anne and most of the others were killed. But her diary survived and it is now published in 55 languages. Today, the Anne Frank House is a museum dedicated to teaching about the holocaust and was just one of millions killed by the Nazis, but her words made her famous and each year thousands come to visit her final home. Or they did until today...
Rockapella: (singing) Oh, no!
Chief: ...when Contessa ambled into Amsterdam and hatched her historic house-heisting hustle. She cruised back in a bogus blimp, then proceeded to put the crimp on the museum that Anne Frank once called home. Contessa's so proud of her dastardly deed that she invited the whole Carmen gang for a tour. Gumshoes, there's no question about the crime in today's case. It's...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...A FRANK CASE OF THEFT!

Carmen: This is no time for shopping, Contessa. ACME's on to us. Hide out in Asmara. It's the capital of an African country on the Red Sea.
Contessa: Asmara? Oh, the name sounds almost Italian, but Italy's not on the Red Sea.
Carmen: Why, Contessa! Using your head for something besides big hats? Yes, Asmara's in a country that was occupied by Italy for a long time, and the Italian influence is still strong.
Contessa: Oh, I can taste the cappuccino already!
Carmen: And the pizza and the pasta. You'll also find elegant villas, palaces, and charming cafes. Italy left this country over 50 years ago, but there's still a small Italian community living in Asmara.
Contessa: Ah, Italian style. It never goes out of fashion.

(Rockapella parodies The Carpenters' "Top of the World")
(Jeff does a quick percussion solo)
Scott: Gumshoe clue is comin' over me.
And he wants you to look down under the sea.
Off the coast of Guam,
Where the water's sometimes warm.
There's a valley kind of thing 7 miles deep.
Explorers oughta reach its deep, dark floor.
You might ask yourself "What would they do that for?".
They might find some living things.
All your knowledge is my dream.
'Cause you know no one's been down that far before.
I'm on the...
All: Top of the Ocean, lookin'
Down on Contessa,
And her looting's unsuccessful. You will find.
Better rent a submarine
To bring back that thievin' queen.
And we'll put you on the Top of the World.
Scott: And we'll...
All: ...Put you on the Top of the World. (they notice a big fish) Dive. (they set off fast)

Greg: (upon materializing with the gumshoes in the Pacific Ocean) (exhales) Oh! Where am I? Oh, the Pacific Ocean. Let's go this way. Oh. (they walk to the Jailtime Challenge board)

Rockapella: (sings their fanfare; Adam goes to the chain before Greg approaches him and Stephanie)
Greg: Yeah! Yeah! He's goin'! Go, buddy! Go! (laughs) You know what to do. Yeah. (Adam pulls the chain; Rockapella does Contessa's in jail tune)
Greg: Really, Adam. Nice job. Run away from me. You know what you're doin'.

Contessa: This prison food is so dreadfully boring! I can't even get a jar of Grey Poupon! Maybe Carmen could help. But she's in Europe. Go find her.

Summa Cum Rowdy [5.22]

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[Vic the Slick steals the University of Oxford, England.]

Chief: This is Vic the Slick.
Rockapella: (singing) Vic the Slick
Chief: Too much hair grease, too much cologne, he wears the worst clothes ever known. His last known whereabouts: Oxford, England. Oxford University is one of the world's most famous institutions of learning. Students first enrolled there in the 1100s, making it Great Britain's oldest university. There are 35 different colleges at Oxford, each with its own teachers, students, and facilities. Besides its academic programs, Oxford is renowned for its architecture which reflects the many centuries over which the colleges were built. Today, over 14,000 students scurry through the historic Oxford grounds. Or they did until today...
Rockapella: (singing) Oh!
Chief: ...when that delinquent dropout Vic decided he needed some education. To get it, he brazenly bulldozed every building and burgled every book. Now he plans to sell Oxford degrees as if they grew on trees. Gumshoes, you've got to flunk that flunky Vic and solve today's case...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-oo-oo
Chief: ...SUMMA CUM ROWDY!

A Volcanic Corruption [5.23]

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[Top Grunge steals the Cappadocia cones from Göreme Valley, Turkey.]

Chief: This is Top Grunge.
Rockapella: (singing) Top Grunge
Chief: Born to pop wheelies, born to be wild, born to call flimballs, born to smell vile. His last known whereabouts: Göreme Valley, Turkey. Long ago, volcanoes cover the Göreme Valley with a thick layer of ash and a good dose of lava. Over time, wind and water shape the cones' inspires into the lava. People later settled in the odd landscape called Cappadocia, and carved homes and places of worship out of the rock. At its peak in the 10th century, some 40,000 people lived there, many of them religious hermits. In fact, farmers and herdsmen still live in some of the ancient stone dwellings. Or they did until today...
Rockapella: (singing) Crime!
Chief: ...when Top Grunge grunted into Turkey and sneezed up an evil plan. Using his chopper, and a little leverage, he lift-launched the whole lava landscape and hauled it away. Now he's got a new sport in mind: Cappadocia Motorcross. Gumshoes, grab Grunge and close the book on today's case...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-oo-oo
Chief: ...A VOLCANIC CORRUPTION!

Held for B-Ransom [5.24]

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[Sarah Nade steals the city of Branson, Missouri]

Chief: This is Sarah Nade.
Rockapella: (singing) Sarah Nade
Chief: You just can't describe her, she's none of the above. A voice like broken glass and she worhips Courtney Love. Her last known whereabouts: Branson, Missouri. Branson was once a sleepy vacation spot nestled in the Ozarks. Back in the 60s, a country music theater opened to entertain tourists and several others followed. Then in the 1980s and 90s, a flood of stars opened show houses in Branson, making it the new hot spot for country music. Branson theaters now seat more folks than even New York's Broadway. Stars like Roy Clark and Barbara Mandrell entertain the 5 million tourists who arrive yearly to enjoy Branson's brand of wholesome family fun. Or they did until today...
Rockapella: (singing) Oh, no!
Chief: ...when Sarah Nade showed up for a jam session. Her musical tastes are a little different from the vocal, so she thieved every theater in thight, I mean, sight. But Sarah, music's no fun when it makes your ears bleed. Gumshoes, you got to bring back Branson and crack today's caper...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-oo-oo
Chief: ...HELD FOR B-RANSOM!

Stop Your Blubbering! [5.25]

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[Double Truble steal Hawaii's humpback whales.]

Chief: This is Double Trouble.
Rockapella: (singing) Double Trouble (Trouble)
Chief: They're not too bright but full of tricks. Their IQs total 36. Their last known whereabouts: Hawaii. Every winter, humpback whales migrate to Hawaii from their summer feeding grounds in the Northern Pacific. These 40-foot long 40-ton visitors go there to breed. Experts think the whales may prefer the shallow waters around certain Hawaiian Islands because the temperature suits their newborns. For a while, humpbacks were scared away from the shallows by jet skis and motorboats. A ban on those sports during the breeding season has assured the whales a quiet place to lull from May to December. Or it did until today...
Rockapella: (singing) Crime!
Chief: ...when the cold seas were troubled by a mean submarine. Double Trouble, commanding their twin fisti-crime craft, hauled into Hawaiian waters, then hauled out the humpbacks, every last one. The twins have vile visions of water parks dancing in their heinous heads. Gumshoes, put an end to this whale tale and solve today's case...
Rockapella (singing) Woo-woo-oo-oo
Chief: ...STOP YOUR BLUBBERING!

Wave Bye-Bye [5.26]

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[Sarah Nade steals Wave Rock from Hyden, Western Australia]

Chief: This is Sarah Nade.
Rockapella: (singing) Sarah Nade
Chief: If she's not doing crime, only one place she'll be: in the garbage playing her flying D. Her last known whereabouts: Hyden, Western Australia. All seashores are known for great surfing, but Western Australia's weaklands might be the best place to catch a wave. That's because this region of strange rock formations boasts an incredible site called Wave Rock. Billions of years old, this 50-foot high wave white granite formation was created by weathering and erosion. Chemical deposits carried by rain down Wave Rock caused its bold bands of color. Gumshoes, you have to see it to believe it. But it couldn't be seen or believed today...
Rockapella: (singing) Crime!
Chief ...when Sarah hot aired over Australia, then wigged when she saw Wave Rock. Jumping on the chance to steal it, Sarah powered up her chainsaw, carved through crag and crevices, then hooked it and hauled it away. Now she's got a skateboard stunt track that's the envy of Carmen's gang. Gumshoes, rock Sarah's world and solve today's case...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-oo-oo
Chief: ...WAVE BYE-BYE!

Shoo, Trees! [5.27]

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[Kneemoi steals the bristlecone pine trees from California]

Chief: This is Kneemoi.
Rockapella: (singing) Kneemoi
Chief: Her face is cute but she's unsavory. Watch out for her knack with knavery. Her last known whereabouts: California. Pinus longaeva is Latin for long-lived pine, and it's a perfect name for the bristlecone pine trees in the White Mountains. Some have been alive more than 4,000 years and that makes bristlecones the oldest living things on Earth. Why, some of these trees were around before the Egyptian pyramids. Dense resistant wood is what helps them weather eons of ice, sand, and drought, and even when bristlecones do die, they can still remain standing for centuries. Or they did until today...
Rockapella: (singing) Ooh!
Chief: ...when noxious Kneemoi careened into California to knock on wood, then she branched out to breathe in the bristlecones, and before you can say another pine mess, every last bristle was gone. She plans to sell the trees on Roddenberry as a nasal decongestant. Gumshoes, you've got to get rough with that stuffed puff and solve today's case...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-oo-oo
Chief: ...SHOO, TREES!

Stonecutter's Haul [5.28]

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[Robocrook steals the Shona Sculptures from Zimbabwe.]

Chief: This is Robocrook.
Rockapella: (singing) Robocrook
Chief: A Terminator wannabe with wires in his shorts and a short in his wiring. His last known whereabouts: Zimbabwe. Stone sculptures, made by Zimbabwe's Shona people, are a top African art form. It started in the 1960s when a village of sculptors created a new modern style with their carvings of colored stone. The sculptures, often smooth heads or figures blending into rough stone, were unlike much African art because they weren't religious. Self-expression was the most important thing in their creation. Today, Shona sculptures are still being crafted and are valued by art lovers around the world. At least they were until today...
Rockapella: (singing) Crime!
Chief: ...when Robocrook roared his robo-rover into Zimbabwe. He hooked and hoisted Shona sculptures one by one, then rocketed the rock art to points unknown. Gumshoes, you've got to chisel that chiseler down to size, then wrap up today's case...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-oo-oo
Chief: ...STONECUTTER'S HAUL!

White Out [5.29]

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[The Contessa steals the White House from Washington D.C.]

Chief: This is Contessa
Rockapella: (singing) Contessa
Chief: She's chic, she's sleek, and she has an evil streak. Her last known whereabouts: Washington D.C. The White House has been home and office to every US president except George Washington. Built partly by slaves, it was first occupied around 1800, then rebuilt after British soldiers burned it in 1814. The White House hasn't always been an easy place to live. It was still unfinished when John Adams moved in, and for the first 30 years, it had no bathroom. But after two centuries of improvement, the house at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue is the proud symbol of the American presidency. Or it was until today...
Rockapella: (singing) Ooh!
Chief: ...when Contessa cruised into restricted airspace to do some house hunting. Finding her dream home, she released her steal cable, then whisked the White House away. She's always wanted to be the first lady of crime. Gumshoes, foreclose on that house hustler and crack today's caper...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-oo-oo
Chief: ...WHITE OUT!

Maternal Instinks [5.30]

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[Top Grunge steal the Rock Palace from Wadi Dhahr, Yemen.]

Chief: This is Top Grunge.
Rockapella: (singing) Top Grunge
Chief: Nasty coughs and flemmy wheezes, boogers fly when this guy sneezes. His last known whereabouts: Wadi Dhahr, Yemen. What does a royal ruler get when he wants a room with a view? Take a look at this cozy little getaway called the Rock Palace. Perched high atop an amazingly steep rock, the home was built for 18th century Yemeni leader Al-Mansur Ali. More recently, it was a summer palace for the Imam, but its days as a royal residence ended in 1962. The Rock Palace has since become a tourist attraction and skilled Yemeni craftsmen are now restoring the palace to its former glory. Or they were until today...
Rockapella: (singing) Crime!
Chief: ...when Top Grunge yondered into Yemen wanting a new mobile home for his dear old mom. He decided the Rock Palace was just her style, so he motor-chopped the troncation and hauled it home to Mommy. Boy, seeing them together makes a lot of things clear. Gumshoes, break up this touching reunion and crack today's case...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-oo-oo
Chief: ...MATERNAL INSTINKS!

El Ca-Steal-o [5.32]

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{Vic the Slick steals the El Castillo pyramid from Chichen Itza, Mexico.]

Chief: This is Vic the Slick.
Rockapella: (singing) Vic the Slick
Chief: Looks like a dude from a 70s disco, polyester suit, hair groomed with Crisco. His last known whereabouts: Chichen Itza, Mexico. A thousand years ago when the Maya ruled Northern Yucatán, they built the towering Castillo pyramid. It honored Kuklucán, the feathered serpent god. On the first day of spring and fall each year, the sun's rays slithered down El Castillo's steps like a snake and meet the massive serpent's head carved below. We don't know if Maya builders intended this effect, but the snakes appearance has now become a major event, drawing thousands of people who gather to celebrate the coming of the new seasons. Or they did until today...
Rockapella: (singing) Oh, no!
Chief: ...when Vic the Slick slid into Mexico, sidesteps the serpent, then slathered El Castillo with high-grade honey, and called his trained bees to pick up and pilfered the pyramid. Now that sleazeball picked up a whole swarm of partners in crime. Gumshoes, you've got to stop that pyramid pincher and wrap up today's case...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...EL CA-STEAL-O!

Fall of the House of Ushers [5.33]

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[Wonder Rat steals the Fox Theater from Atlanta, Georgia.]

Chief: This is Wonder Rat.
Rockapella: (singing) Wonder Rat
Chief: A seeker of fame with an act so lame, he gives rats a bad name. His last known whereabouts: Atlanta, Georgia. Long before the days of the multiscreen cineplex, there was the Golden Age of the movie palace. Huge spectacular one-screen theaters that made going to the movies a real event, and one of the grandest of those old palaces is Atlanta's fabulous Fox Theater. Opened in 1929, the Fox seats nearly 4,000 and has an Arabian fantasy interior that could be straight out of Aladdin. With ornate towers, tents, and balconies, even a star-studded sky, the Fox is really something to see. Or it was until today...
Rockapella: (singing) Ooh!
Chief: ...when Wonder Rat crime-coptered into Atlanta, roped himself a Fox, then choppered it away. Now he's got that captive audience he's always wanted. Trouble is they don't want him. Gumshoes, you've got to outfox that Fox-filching rodent and wrap up today's case...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...FALL OF THE HOUSE OF USHERS!

Headache in the Temple [5.34]

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[Eartha Brute steals the Temple of Hatshepsut from Deir-el-Bahri, Egypt.]

Chief: This is Eartha Brute.
Rockapella: (singing) Eartha Brute, huh
Chief: Her biceps bulge, her laughs of flared. She's so pumped up, she's got muscular hair. Her last known whereabouts, Deir-el-Bahri, Egypt. About 3,500 years ago, Egypt was ruled by Hatshepsut, its first female pharaoh. She was known for building great structures and for expanding Egypt's trade with other countries. Under her rule, a trip was launched across the Red Sea in search of a land called Punt. The successful voyage, which returned with many riches is recorded in pictures and hieroglyphs on the Temple of Hatshepsut. She built a temple as a monument in tomb for herself and it commemorates many events from her reign as pharaoh. Or it did until today...
Rockapella: (singing) Oh, no!
Chief: ...when Eartha Brute donned a snaky headband and walked like an Egyptian into Deir-el-Bahri. She toted the temple away and turned it into a sandstone Barcalounger. Gumshoes, bring in the brute and end the throbbing pain of today's case...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-oo-oo
Chief: ...HEADACHE IN THE TEMPLE!

Se Habla Espa-ol [5.35]

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[Patty Larceny steals the Spanish letter ñ from Spain]

Chief: This is Patty Larceny.
Rockapella: (singing) P-P-P-Patty
Chief: A teenage scammer, good with grammar, headed for the slammer. Her last known whereabouts: Spain. Over a quarter billion people today speak Spanish. This beautiful language had its origins in medieval Latin. Latin has lots of words with double Ns like annum, the word for year. The Spanish came up with a clever way to abbreviate those Ns. They created the letter ñ, and the Latin annum became the Spanish año. Many Spanish words include the ñ, such as mañaña, which means tomorrow, and even the name for Spain, España. Spanish is the only modern language that uses the letter ñ. At least it did until today...
Rockapella: (singing) Ooh!
Chief: ...when lawless Miss Larceny, disguised as a flamenco dancer, popped up in sunny Spain then fanned out across the country. With a wicked wave of her flimflamming fan, she looted the letter from banks and books till every tilda-popped ñ was took. She hopes to cash in her copped characters for extra credit in crime class. Gumshoes, the fate of the Spanish language hinges on today's case...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...SE HABLA ESPA-OL!

Haul That Jazz [5.37]

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[Sarah Nade steals the Alabama Jazz Hall of Fame.]

Chief: This is Sarah Nade.
Rockapella: (singing) Sarah Nade
Chief: She's got tattoos, her navel's pierced and she hates Yani, something fierce. Her last known whereabouts: Birmingham, Alabama. Jazz music is one of our nation's great contributions to world culture. The Alabama Jazz Hall of Fame celebrates that contribution by honoring jazz musicians with ties to that state. You'll find exhibits on jazz greats like W.C. Handy, Lionel Hampton, and famed local jazz teacher John T. "Fess" Whatley. The hall sponsors programs too, like jazz in schools. It brings the cool sounds of live jazz music to over 10,000 kids each year. Or it did until today...
Rockapella: (singing) Crime!
Chief: ... when Sarah Nade breezed into Birmingham and decided to take five at the jazz hall. Later, she trucked back and struck with a jazz-jolting blast from her super sound system. Ear bleeds were reported in a ten-mile radius. Now she's turned that place of fame into a Hall of Shame. Gumshoes, I'll be kind of blue until you crack today's case...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-oo-oo
Chief: ...HAUL THAT JAZZ!

20th Century Rat [5.38]

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[Wonder Rat steals the FESPACO monument from Ouagadougou, Burkina Faso.]

Chief: This is Wonder Rat.
Rockapella: (singing) Wonder Rat
Chief: Polyester fur and a nylon tail, likes to claim that he went to Yale. His last known whereabouts: Ouagadougou, Burkina Faso. For pure showbiz glamour, France's Cannes Film Festival is tough to top. But to see the best in African films, Ouagadougou is the place to go. Every two years, the city hosts the Panafrican Film and Television Festival, best known by its French abbreviation FESPACO. The festival started in 1969 to help nurture Africa's young film industry, and to promote African films to a global audience. Since then, FESPACO has grown to become one of the biggest cultural events on the continent. At least it was until today...
Rockapella: (singing) Oh. no!
Chief: ...when Wonder Rat whirled into Ouagadougou aboard his cheddar chopper. He jumped down on the sculpture that is a symbol of FESPACO, then kept pouncing his pilfering paws until he pogoed away. Now that star-struck stooge is staging a film fest starring himself. Better get a barf bag with your popcorn and Coke. Gumshoes, I'm counting on you to crack today's case...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...20TH CENTURY RAT!

The Persian Incursion [5.39]

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[Eartha Brute steals Persepolis from Iran]

Chief: This is Eartha Brute.
Rockapella: (singing) Eartha Brute, huh
Chief: She can tear you limb from limb, thanks to her membership at World Gym. Her last known whereabouts: Southwest Iran. Persepolis was an ancient city built around 500 B.C. by Darius the Great of Persia. It was constructed mainly for hosting big ol' parties with large palaces and audience hall and elaborate art. During the New Year's Festival, for example, people came from throughout the Persian Empire to bring gifts to the king. In 330 B.C., Alexander the Great sees Persepolis and burned it. Many centuries later, archaeologists uncovered the splendid riches of this once great city. But those riches vanished today...
Rockapella: (singing) Ooh!
Chief: ...when Eartha Brute unearthed herself in Iran. She perused Persepolis, then proceeded to heist horses, filch the freezes, and generally left no stone unstolen. What she'll do to get friends is really a crime. Gumshoes, repossess Persepolis and crack today's caper...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...THE PERSIAN INCURSION!

Tyrannosaurus Wrecked [5.41]

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[Eartha Brute steals the Calgary Zoo's Prehistoric Park from Alberta, Canada.]

Chief: This is Eartha Brute.
Rockapella: (singing) Eartha Brute, huh
Chief: If you're looking for brains, you won't find a trace. Between her two ears is a wide-open space. Her last known whereabouts: Calgary, Alberta. Take a ten-minute drive from downtown Calgary and step millions of years back in time. You can do it at the Calgary Zoo's Prehistoric Park. It's North America's only major park to show dinosaurs in their natural environment. Of course, the dinos aren't real. There are life-size replicas and they're surrounded by plant life and other prehistoric animals which resemble those from the same era. Seeing dinosaurs in their natural habitat almost brings these long dead creatures back to life. Or it did until today...
Rockapella: (singing) Oh, no!
Chief: ...when Eartha Brute clomped into Calgary in her cave gal best. She then proceeded to poach the park of every prehistoric beast, and she probably still hasn't noticed that they aren't real. Gumshoes, I'm counting on you to crack today's case...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-oo-oo
Chief: ...TYRANNOSAURUS WRECKED!

In Casa Emergency, Call 911 [5.42]

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[Contessa steals Casa Rosada from Buenos Aires]

Chief: This is Contessa.
Rockapella: (singing) Contessa
Chief: A well-dressed pest with a taste for the best. Her last known whereabouts: Buenos Aires, Argentina. Since 1894, Argentine presidents have lived in La Casa Rosada, or pink house. Some say the palace was painted pink to set it apart from the US White House. Others say pink was one of the few colors available back then. It was made by mixing beef blood with lime. Either way, La Casa Rosada is a symbol of Argentine government. Traditionally, the country's leaders address the nation from the balcony of this proud pink palace. Or they did until today...
Rockapella: (singing) Oh, no!
Chief: ...when Contessa breezed into Buenos Aires and cased the casa. She rounded up a herd of that famous Argentine beef, then stampeded the palace to places unknown. Now she's flying the flag of treason and laughing all the way to the pompous. Gumshoes, you must conclude today's conundrum...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...IN CASA EMERGENCY, CALL 911!

Tales You Lose [5.43]

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[Wonder Rat steals the Grimm's Fairy Tales from Kassel, Germany.]

Chief: This is Wonder Rat.
Rockapella: (singing) Wonder Rat
Chief: A crook who travels incognita, nibbling chunks of smooth Velveeta. His last known whereabouts: Kassel, Germany. Once upon a time, there were two brothers named Jacob and Wilhelm Grimm. They wrote and published more than 200 folk tales they had heard from friends and folks around Kassel. Stories like Red Riding Hood, Hansel and Gretel, and Rapunzel. The Grimms wanted to publish the tales before they were forgotten and lost forever. They were first translated into English in the 1820s and have since appeared in dozens of other languages to the enjoyment of readers around the world. At least they were enjoyed until today...
Rockapella: (singing) Oh, no!
Chief: ...when Wonder Rat pulled a crime for all time in his sleep. He dozed off and in his dreams, he pilfered every page of those classic Grimm tales. When he awoke, the heist was complete and the grim truth is, he's now writing himself into every story. Gumshoes, only you can close the book on today's case...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...TALES YOU LOSE!

Haul of the Roamin' Empire [5.44]

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[Eartha Brute steals the Empire State Building from New York City.]

Chief: This is Eartha Brute.
Rockapella: (singing) Eartha Brute, huh
Chief: She dreams of love, but even Cupid couldn't find someone quite as stupid. Her last known whereabouts: New York City, New York. Ah, the Empire State Building, a stone and steel marvel rising a quarter-mile high. It was the world's tallest building for four decades. Amazingly, this mammoth skyscraper was built in just over a year, a speed record that still stands. Today, there are taller towers, but none has the allure and history of the Empire State Building. Blimps once docked on its mast, a bomber crashed into the 78th floor, and it's here mighty King Kong met his fate. But today was ill-fated for the building itself...
Rockapella: (singing) Ooh!
Chief: ...when Eartha Brute copped a copter and parachuted down onto Manhattan like a big piece of bad news. She scooped up the skyscraper, shook it up and down, and giggled like an idiot, then stomped out of town. Now it's up to you gumshoes to wrap up today's case...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...HAUL OF THE ROAMIN' EMPIRE!

Latitude Adjustment [5.46]

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[Robocrook steals the Equatorial Monument from Mitad del Mundo, Ecuador.]

Chief: This is Robocrook.
Rockapella: (singing) Robocrook
Chief: An ironclad cad with titanium in his cranium. His last known whereabouts: Mitad del Mundo, Ecuador. Mitad del Mundo means middle of the world. That's because it lies on the Equator, the imaginary line dividing Earth's northern and southern hemispheres. Visitors love to share across the Equator or stand in one foot with each hemisphere, and they usually visit the Equatorial Monument, a 90-foot stone pedestal with a giant globe on top. They can check out the view from the observation deck and look at exhibits about Ecuador's native people. Or they could until today...
Rockapella: (singing) Ooh!
Chief: ...when Robocrook took the night off from his cyborg bowling league, and bowled a frame at the monument. But when his strike shot failed, Robo struck back and spared no effort to snarker that marker. Now that pinhead's setting head pins at his stolen bowl-o-rama. Gumshoes, only you can keep today's case out of the gutter.
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: LATITUDE ADJUSTMENT!

Barry (English accent; during the Office Sketch): The concept of a giant duck at the center of the Earth is fictional, and is intended solely for entertainment purposes. The center of the Earth actually consists of a lot of complicated gases and minerals that would take a long time to explain, and aren't very funny, anyway.

Greg: (when he goes into the alley getting ready for his training exercise) Okay, guys, little train--
Voice: OOOOOOOOOOOHH! (The alley is shaking like a earthquake, Greg protects two of the gumshoes from being blown away While The Third Is Sitting But Is Not Protected By Greg)
Greg: Whoa, hold on! Wait a minute! FEED THE COW!! FEED THE COW!!

Robo: A virus has infected my system's software. It causes me to divulge Carmen's location. You'll find her in Asia. Please! Don't say that I sent you.

Art So Nice, They Stole it Twice [5.48]

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[Sarah Nade steals the painting The Scream]

Chief: This is Sarah Nade.
Rockapella: (singing) Sarah Nade
Chief: Rings on her fingers, rings through her nose. When she works for Carmen, anything goes. Her last known whereabouts: Oslo, Norway. Edvard Munch was a Norwegian painter born in 1863. Munch was a founder of the expressionist art movement. Expressionists tried to express deep emotions in their paintings. Munch had lived a difficult life and his art depicted his pain and loneliness. His best-known painting, The Scream, retains a silent and solitary howl on a bridge. The Scream was mysteriously stolen in 1994 but later recovered, and now hangs again in Oslo's national art museum. Or it did until today...
Rockapella: (singing) Oh!
Chief: ...when Sarah stole into Oslo and stole it again. Screaming is music to Sarah's ears so she maneuvered into the museum, scooped up The Scream, then scampered away. Now she's yowling with the best of it. Gumshoes, capture that con artist and crack today's case...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-oo-oo
Chief: ...ART SO NICE, THEY STOLE IT TWICE!

Sarah: Aw, man! This prison life is bogus! The guard just confiscated my tattoo! Carmen's gotta spring me. But she's in Asia. Go find her.

Totem Bites Back [5.49]

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[Kneemoi steals Totem Bight State Park.]

Chief: This is Kneemoi.
Rockapella: (singing) Kneemoi
Chief: Often mistaken for a UFO, she takes her earthly loot to go. Her last known whereabouts: Southeast Alaska. There were once many villages of Tlingit and Haida people in this region, but many were abandoned long ago. Luckily, Totem Bight State Historical Park preserved the traditions of those early villages and the artistic skills of their residence with authentic totem poles and a clan house. Original carving and painting techniques were used to craft the totem poles, and the replica clan house shows how 30 to 50 people might have lived together. Since 1959, Totem Bight Park has helped keep-alive local native cultures. Or it did until today...
Rockapella: (singing) Ooh!
Chief: ...when Kneemoi went aloft in Alaska and descended to tackle a totem. She whirred through the park like a buzzsaw, toting off totems by the pound. In fact, she's even morphed herself to look like one. Now she's parading the pilfered poles on planet Roddenberry. Gumshoes, retake Totem Bight and solve today's case...
Rockapella: (singing) Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...TOTEM BITES BACK!

Greg and The Chief: AAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!
Greg: You know, Chief, the background music is fun, but, um, I'm just not sure that it's us. You know what I mean?
Chief: You know, I think you're right.
Greg: Yeah.
Chief: You know, I kind of miss good ol' Rockapella. You got it. They're a little goofy, but they did get the job done.
Greg: I agree completely. Totally.
Chief: Speaking of getting the job done...
Greg: All right, Chief. Uh, boys, you wanna sing me out, please? (Rockapella sing the show's theme song and Greg dances out of the office, while the Chief dances along).

Liat: Virgin of Carmen Festival.
Greg: Virgin of Carmen Festival. (Shoeprints are revealed)
Rockapella: (sings to the tune of their theme song) Ooh-wah! The virgin, ooh-wah!

Greg: Inca Trail. (Shoeprints are revealed)
Rockapella: Elliot's been there!
Greg: Oh, is that right?

Kneemoi: Prison sports are really fun! I get used as a Frisbee, a dartboard, and a second base! Carmen should see me play. But she's in Asia. Go find her.

A Rodent Ran Through It [Finale]

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[Wonder Rat steals the Amazon River.]

Rockapella: (as clowns) Help!

Chief: This is Wonder Rat.
Rockapella: (singing): Wonder Rat
Chief: A wannabe fat cat dressed like a rat with a brain the size of a gnat. His last known whereabouts: South America. High in the Andes Mountains of Peru, the mighty Amazon River begins its 4,000 mile trek across the rainforests of South America. Along the way, hundreds of rivers feed its rush to the Atlantic coast of Brazil where it empties more water into the ocean than any other river in the world. The Amazon basin is home to countless plant and animals species, most of which we know little or nothing about. But many we have studied provide valuable medicine and knowledge. Or they did until today...
Rockapella: (singing): Oh, no!
Chief: ...when Wonder Rat brazenly breezed into Brazil with a king-sized pump of an industrial strength hose. He switched on his chunk pump, drained the entire Amazon, then whisked the water away. Now, he's using it to fill his big cheese pool. Too bad that ratface forgot that piranhas like rodents as snacks. Gumshoes, grab him before the fish do and solve today's case...
Rockapella: (singing): Woo-woo-ooo-oo
Chief: ...A RODENT RAN THROUGH IT!

Wonder Rat: Know why they call me Wonder Rat? 'Cause it's a wonder that I'd rat on my own boss! (giggles) Carmen scooted to North America. Go get her.

Chief: This is Lynne Thigpen for Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?, and remember the ACME Triangle of Excellence: vigilance, dedication, courage!

Other

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Greg: Nothing there./No./Nope sorry./Good strategy./Nice strategy./I think we checked that one before. (used whenever a Gumshoe finds shoeprints; the latter line is used when the shoeprints are revealed on a location that had already been chosen)

Greg: You sir/ma'am have the loot, and the warrant, can you find (crooks name)?

Crook: (Talking about Carmen's location) Look for her in (name of a continent). - all of season 1

Greg: Here are the possible locations you might be able to find (Crook's Name), (name of Loot), and a warrant for (Crook's name)'s arrest. The first thing you have to find is the loot, that's the evidence need to get a warrant, with the warrant you can arrest the crook. Connect all 3 of those things, in that order, in a single turn, and you get a chance to catch Carmen Sandiego. Catch Carmen Sandiego, you get that trip to anywhere in the lower 48 states/North America. One more thing, [you can pick any locations that you want to, but] if you happen to come upon/happen upon the loot, the warrant, or crook, you get a free turn. - used only in seasons 1-2. The speech in brackets is used in season 1; in season 2, it was changed into "as always". Sometimes both are said in seasons 1-2.

Chief: Remember the ACME Triangle of Excellence: (forms the triangle with her hands) Vigilance, dedication, courage. - used in some season 1 episodes prior to the jailtime challenge; sometimes it's said on episodes through rest of run.

Chief: Begin the ACME Crime Net Countdown.
5 are the senses you need,
4 putting crooks on the run.
3 rounds to fight against greed,
2 be sure justice has 1! - used in some season 1 episodes prior to the jailtime challenge; sometimes this is said on some episodes through the rest of the run

Greg: All of our answers have been verifed by National Geographic World.
Rockapella: (singing) National Geographic World! - In some episodes of seasons two and three where Greg always says it at the start of the first round. In seasons 4 and 5, he says this phrase on every episode.

Chief: I salute you! (holds a magnifying glass on one of her eye) - used throughout almost the entire series.

Sean: He lives a life of danger, our underwater ranger...
All of Rockapella: The one and only Plastic Diver Guy!

Greg: Now it's time for you to go to (name of location) and track down (crook's name) and bring back the (loot), but I want you to know, we do not send our agents out into the field unprepared. Chief, how about a briefing? - used in seasons 1-2

Greg: Okay, guys, now, what we have to do is go to (name of location) to try to find (crook) and the (loot). You guys ready to go? - Season 3.

Chief: Greg!
Greg: Yes?
Chief: Are you and the gumshoes ready to modem?
Greg: We are ready, Chief! Let's do it! (he and the gumshoes inhale deeply as they are sucked into the modem) - Season 5

Greg: You got (crook's name), all you have to do is pull on this chain, put him/her/them in jail. Do it. - used in seasons 1-3

Greg: Okay, guys, just a reminder, you have to get the loot, the warrant, and crook in that order, in a single turn. If you do that, you get a chance to catch Carmen Sandiego. Catch Carmen Sandiego, you will get that trip to anywhere in North America. - used in season 3

Greg: You know how it works. Loot, warrant, and then crook. - used in seasons 4 and 5

Greg: You guys were tied at the end of the last round. We flipped a coin. [Gumeshoe's name], you won that coin toss. So you're gonna go first. Go ahead. - used before the Jailtime Challenge

Greg: We're still looking for (crook), and the (loot). Fortunately for us, ACME Bug Net has just provided us this phone conversation between (crook), and Carmen Sandiego. Watch/Listen. - Seasons 1-3.

Greg: Phone Tap. - Some of Season 3 and most of Season 4

Greg: OK, that sound means we have something coming from ACME Bug Net, so let's go to the Phone Tap. - Season 5

Chief: Greg, I've got an incentive for the Gumshoes. Now, if you catch Carmen Sandiego, I will send you anywhere in the lower 48 states! (applause) Now, you can go on a nice, quiet vacation to (names of numerous U.S. cities). You can go anywhere! But the only way you're gonna win this award is if you catch (crook's name)! Now, get back to work. - used during season 1 when there is no office sketch.

Chief: (emerges from her office) Greg, there's no time to lose. Just tell the gumshoes that the one who captures Carmen Sandiego will win a trip anywhere in North America! / Home audience to (contest rules) (applause) Now, I've just received a Phone Tap from ACME Bug Net. Now, it contains important clues. So, gumshoes, you should watch this carefully. - used during seasons 2-4 when there is no office sketch. The speech in parentenses was only used in seasons 3-4.

Greg: Now it's time for the final clue of the round. Which means you have to decide how much you wanna risk. If you're right, we'll add that amount to your score. But if you're not right, we'll subtract it from your score. You can risk 0, 10, 20, 30, 40 or 50 ACME Crime Bucks. Take a look right over here, if you will, please. Here is a portion of the world where we think (crook) is headed. If you know a lot about the part of this world, you may wanna risk a lot. If you don't know very much about it, you may not wanna risk quite so much. Take a look at the map, and think about it. (some lines were were both dropped in some of season 4 and most of season 5)

Rockapella: The Loot! (most of Season 1, and less often in Seasons 2-5)

Rockapella: The Warrant!

Chief: (Gumshoe's name (season 1 only)), here's a list of places Carmen may have traveled: (names of 12/13 locations). Greg! Take (Gumshoe's name) to the Map! (in seasons 2-5 "Greg! Let's go to the Map!")

Chief: There are 15 places here in (name of location) where you might find (name of crook), the warrant, or (name of loot). Let's look at a few of them. - used in seasons 3-5

Rockapella: (Crook's Name)/The warrant!
Greg: Nice job you got (crook's name)/the warrant, but remember you have to go in the right order. Loot, Warrant, Crook.

Chief: Fine work (gumshoe's name)! And I've upgraded your status from gumshoe to SLEUTH! - Early season 1 if the gumshoe captures Carmen. (only occured 3 times)

Chief: You've done great work today. (she knocks on her desk) And we're proud of you. (Uh... (looks around and sees that her screen isn't popping up) WALTER!!) (the screen pops with the Chief's magnifying glass) I hereby upgrade you! You are now a sleuth! (grabs her magnifying glass) Congratulations! (places the magnifying glass in front of one eye) - Season 2 if the gumshoe does not capture Carmen; the phrases in parentheses is used in most episodes.

Chief: Now, stand tall. You are a member of a very special group. You are a Sleuth! Congratulations! - Season 3.

Chief: You made it. You're a sleuth! Congratulations! - Seasons 4-5.

Chief (sometimes Greg, or both): Every time you watch the show, write down what got stolen and from where. When you've collected 4 loots and locations, put them on a postcard with your name and address, and send it to ACME Crime Net, P.O Box 4300, New York, NY, 10163. Everyday/Each day, we'll pick five people who's list are correct and send them each a Carmen T-Shirt. Here's who won today/Here are today's winners. (Winners are shown) Congratulations to the winners! - Seasons 3-5.

Chief (sometimes Greg, or both): Here are today's winners (Winners are shown). Congratulations to all the winners. If you wanna win, write down what got stolen and from where each time you watch the show, when you've collected 4 loots and locations, put them on a postcard with your name and address, and send it to ACME Crime Net, P.O Box 4300, New York, NY, 10163. Everyday/Each day, we'll pick five people who's list are correct and send them each a Carmen T-Shirt. - Alternate version of the contest rules

Chief: Greg, (crook's name) has stolen (name of loot) and there's no time to lose. (Now,) Here's the profile on (Crook). - used in season 2

Crook Jingles

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  • All crook jingles are sung by Rockapella.
  • The Contessa- Ooh... ahh... ahh... ooh... Contessa!
  • Top Grunge- (motorcycle sounds; then in a gruffly voice) Top- Top- Top Grunnnnnnnnge!
  • Double Trouble- (scat) Double Trouble (Trouble)! (2x)
  • Vic the Slick- (does a few seconds of scatting) Vic the Slick!
  • Robocrook- (robotic sounds) Robocrook! (2x)
  • Patty Larceny- P-P-P-Patty (scats for a few seconds) Patty Larceny!
  • Wonder Rat- He's Wonder Rat! The fabulous Wonder Rat! The mighty Wonder Rat!
  • Eartha Brute- Eartha Brute, Sha do ba do, bop sho bop, Eartha Brute! (HUH!)
  • Kneemoi- Moi Moi Knee-knee-knee-knee-knee-Kneemoi Knee-knee-knee-knee-Knee Moi!
  • Sarah Nade- Sarah Naaaaaaaade!
  • The only crook who's jingle was less than three seconds was Sarah Nade.

The "in jail" tune

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The following crooks had their "in jail" tune ended as " 's in jail!"

  • Patty Larceny (alternate tune used in seasons 1-2)
  • Vic the Slick
  • Double Trouble (alternate tune used in seasons 1-2)
  • Robocrook (Seasons 1-2)
  • The Contessa (accompanied by a yell in seasons 4-5)

"In jail!"

  • Eartha Brute
  • Top Grunge ("Grunge" and "in jail" are blended together)
  • Sarah Nade
  • Wonder Rat
  • Kneemoi
  • Robocrook (Seasons 3-5)
  • The only crook who ever used both tunes was Robocrook.

Where in Time is Carmen Sandiego? (game show)

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Jacqueline Hyde: ("Jacqueline" mode) Hi, Carmen! I was just playing catch with my uncle. ("Hyde" mode) Boy, is he hard to throw!

Dr. Belljar: Eureka, Carmen! I've perfected a way to mash potatoes... inside their skin! (giggles manically)

Chief: Time Pilots, (villan's name) just stole something from the past. You've got... (turns knob) ...28 minutes to get it back, or history will change forever!

Chief: And here's your Time Pilot squadron leader, Kevin Schinick!
(Kevin fools around in his room)
Chief: Kevin? KEVIN!
(Kevin reacts and gets to work) - used in season 2

Chief: It comes complete with headphones.
(Alaine Kashian pops up wearing telephones over her ears)
Chief: I sincerely apologize for that joke.

Kevin: Pilots, that alert means we've got a Nano-probe intercept coming from V.I.L.E Headquarters. Watch the viewscreen.
(the screen shows Carmen sitting at her desk with Medeva appearing onscreen)
Medeva: It began in the 60's, a kind of music puree.
Jamaican sounds met R&B, producing Reggae.
Bob Marley and the Wailers were a #1 band.
By the 70's their fame spread to every land.
Reggae's soothing rhythms made you want to relax.
But there was talk of revolution on the vocal tracks.
Bob Marley gave voice to Jamaica's poor.
With hits like Redemption Song, Jammin' and more.
But now it's 1981.
And this Reggae King's time on earth is done.
For the next million years, which is a witches lifespan.
The Mighty Medeva will be a Reggae fan.
(laughs evily as her face vanishes)

Kevin: Let's warp to the time of the crime! - used after the first clue in season 1; used to start the game in season 2

Kevin : At ACME Time Net, history is our job, and the future is yours! - closing line

Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego? (computer game; third version)

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  • You're becoming quite a good detective, detective, but no one can catch Carmen Sandiego.
    • Carmen Sandiego
  • Do you really think you can catch me? Remember, Carmen Sandiego is never far away, but always out of reach.
    • Carmen Sandiego
  • Mmm, I enjoy a good challenge. But I'm afraid that soon, you may be out of your league. Farewell!
    • Carmen Sandiego
  • You've become quite a crimestopper, but you'll never put a stop to my grand plan.
    • Carmen Sandiego
  • I admire your persistence, but I'm a thief in her prime. There's no way you can stop my next crime.
    • Carmen Sandiego
  • I've kept my eye on you, gumshoe. You've done well so far, but wait until the end, my friend...
    • Carmen Sandiego
  • Well, well, the successful inspector is at it again. Good luck trying to figure out my ultimate goal. You'll need it.
    • Carmen Sandiego
  • Excuse the intrusion, but your past successes mean little in the grand scheme of things. My grand scheme, that is.
    • Carmen Sandiego
  • Hello and welcome to ACME, I'm the Chief. But you can call me...well...'the Chief.' We're in the business of tracking down thieves, and we're ultimately after one: Carmen Sandiego! Every creep we've ever collared has been working for her!
    • The Chief
  • You can try to reform me, but I'LL NEVER CHANGE!
    • Ken U. Sparadigm
  • To coin a phrase, I didn't think you coppers had enough "cents" to catch me.
    • Penny Pincher
  • How did I get caught in such a seedy crime? That evidence you weeded through was planted!
    • Herb Aside
  • Oh, no, you found me! I wonder where I blew it?
    • Dinah Myte
  • You nailed me! But if you want to get Carmen, you'll need a much bigger hammer!
    • Jerri Riggs
  • Catching me was a tall order, but catching Carmen will be a colossal achievement.
    • Miss Ann Stuf
  • Oh, no! All of my schemes have been nipped in the bud!
    • Phil O. Dendron
  • You may have short-circuited my operation, but I'm an adapter!
    • Mel Function
  • Agh! Looks like I'm in hot water! You made me look like a wet noodle!
    • "Mac" R. Roni
  • You may have stopped me, but you'll never arrest Carmen Sandiego!
    • Leia D. Land
  • This chase tired me out, but Carmen's in the driver's seat, and you'll never match her speed!
    • Lisa Carr
  • Looks like I'm up the creek without a paddle!
    • Flo N. Eddy
  • Aw, man! I hope they don't give homework in the hoosegow!
    • Skip N. Skule
  • I've never pictured myself getting caught! Would you believe I've been framed?
    • Kay Serrah-Serrah
  • Hey, I'm caught, and I have to cash it in, but the smart money's still on Carmen.
    • Les Cash
  • You made life tough for Miss Ann Stuf, and now a lot fewer people will be missing their stuff.
    • The Chief
  • Thanks to your stellar sleuthing, Ken U. Sparadigm can't even spare a nickel. We've clobbered him with court costs and copped him into prison.
    • The Chief
  • VILE's villains have vexed Vietnam. Someone's took all of the water from the Mekong River. How could they steal a jillion gallons of water without being seen? I don't know. Very sneakily, I'll bet. Now, vamoose to Vietnam and reign in that river wrangler!
    • The Chief
  • Chief: You did it! We've been trying to do it for years and you finally did it! You captured the elusive ringleader of V.I.L.E., the one and only Carmen Sandiego! YAY! [waves pom-poms before tossing them aside] And you did it just in time, too, because we've just discovered the real plan: to steal ACME HQ! She came this...[makes a gesture with thumb and finger that's only half an inch apart]...close...to putting us all out of commission for good, so she could steal the world's treasures unchallenged!
Carmen: Well, well, you've proven yourself to be a good detective, detective. But you'll never guess what plans I'm unfolding next. I'll see you around, even if you don't see me.
Chief: You put a stop to it! You foiled her ultimate heist, and you saved all our skins! Catching Carmen and saving ACME itself makes you one of the greatest detectives of all time! I DOUBLE SALUTE YOU! AH! [she waves one pom-pom while holding her magnifying glass up to her right eye, and confetti falls] That's why we are immortalizing you in the ACME Detective Hall of Fame! [gumshoe's name is added to the hall of fame] When future generations speak of history's greatest crime stoppers, your name will be spoken in awestruck, reverent tones! Super sleuth, the world is sleeping safer all because of you! This is the Chief, signing out.
    • after Carmen is caught

Where in the U.S.A. is Carmen Sandiego? (computer game; third version)

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  • It's time to contact my collection of crooked compadres. My coast-to-coast crime spree is about to begin. I've filched the world's finest artifacts. And now, America's greatest treasure will soon be in the hands of Carmen Sandiego!
    • Carmen Sandiego
  • You got the better of me this time, gumshoe, but the best is yet to come.
    • Carmen Sandiego
  • Carmen here! Catch me if you can!
    • Carmen Sandiego
  • I hate to interrupt, but I thought you'd be interested to know that my next underhanded scheme is already underway.
    • Carmen Sandiego
  • This is Carmen calling you to wish you luck. You'll need it.
    • Carmen Sandiego
  • I couldn't help overhearing. I just wanted to warn you that you'll have to work hard to confound my next caper.
    • Carmen Sandiego
  • Hello and welcome to ACME, I'm the Chief. But don't just think of me as your boss; think of me as your coworker and your boss. All of us her at ACME have the same job: tracking down thieves. Ultimately, we're after the number-one thief of all time: Carmen Sandiego!
    • The Chief
  • I guess the writing's on the wall. I hope I get letters in jail.
    • Cora Spondent
  • I've been nabbed! I knew I shouldn't have stuck around here!
    • Barnie Cull
  • Darn! You got the drop on me before I could make my big splash!
    • Billy Flop
  • I can't believe you found me! I suppose it's too late for a plea bargain.
    • Dee Linquent
  • Don't expect me to congratulate you for catching me – I'm a sore loser!
    • Charlie Horse
  • I thought I pulled a snow job on you, but you put me on ice!
    • Bob Sled
  • You may have netted me, but my money is still on Carmen Sandiego!
    • Luke N. Ferloot
  • You found me? I'm speechless! I guess you got the last word in.
    • Buzz Word
  • I'm all yours, flatfoot, but they haven't built a hoosegow yet that can hold me!
    • Dan Gerous
  • You put an end to my scheming! Carmen will be steaming!
    • Kay Os
  • Curses! All my foul plans have gone up in smoke!
    • Paul Luition
  • I'm caught! I knew I should have stolen away when I had the chance.
    • Emma Welcher
  • I thought I could relax, but you uncovered my tracks!
    • Noah Clue
  • Go ahead and read me my rights, but you'll never get Carmen in your sights!
    • Bee Smirch
  • Just when my plans revved into high gear, you come along and stall my engines!
    • Joy Ryder

Where in Time is Carmen Sandiego? (computer game; third version)

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  • Help you? But I am a nobleman, it very uncommon for me to help commoners.
    • Baron duPont
  • When we spoke of "defeeting" King George, that's not exactly what we meant.
    • Benjamin Franklin, when presented with the left foot from a statue of King George III
  • [sweet voice] My dear ACME agents, I know you're only doing your job, [modulated voice] but you won't keep me locked up for long, losers!
  • You may have taken the wind out of this doctor's sail, but I doubt if you'll put Carmen in jail!
    • Dr. Belljar, a villian on being captured
  • Dream on, detectives. You've got me under control for now, but there's a meltdown coming soon and her name is Carmen Sandiego.
    • Jane Reaction, a villian on being captured
  • You caught up with me again, agents! But you'll never accelerate fast enough for a collision with Carmen!
    • Jane Reaction, a villian on being captured
  • Thomas Edison: Someone really needs to invent a more convenient store - open twenty-four hours a day.
  • Ivan Idea: Wow, Edison really does think ahead of his time!
  • Hello, this is Joe. What? They want to borrow thread?! It's the middle of the night!! Listen close, guard, do NOT give those rascals a spool of thread! Tell 'em to come back in the morning when we're open!
    • Joe, a cranky owner of the thread shop, talking to a guard on the phone

Carmen Sandiego: Word Detective

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  • Agent 12: Agent 12 reporting
Chase Devineaux: [over a radio] Go ahead, 12. What do you see?
Agent 12: Sand, sir, nothing but sand.
Chase Devineaux: Then you're not looking hard enough. The Tower has to be there.
[The ground starts shaking]
Chase Devineaux: The coordinates say you're practically on top of it.
[The Tower rises up from right under Agent 12's feet]

  • Carmen: Take these keys and hide them; and not under your pillow like the last time. Somewhere hard to find.

  • Carmen: Enjoy your stay, agents. So glad you could... drop in. AHAHAHAHAHA!!!!