animated series

VeggieTales is an CGI animated Christian video series created by Big Idea Inc. which first came out in 1993.

Where's God When I'm S-Scared?

Assistant: It can't be done. I don't think you can do it.
Scientist: Well then, stand back and behold as I throw this switch! It's alive! Alive! (laughs in an evil manner) Stand!
Assistant: Oh my goodness! Look how big it is!
Scientist: Speak!
Frankencelery: (moans)
Scientist: Walk to me! No, this way!
Assistant: I'll be going.
Scientist: Frankencelery, where are you going? Come back here! No, don't go near there! (a scream is heard) Frankencelery, come back! Stay away from those villagers!

Junior Asparagus: Ah! Who are you?
Bob the Tomato: I'm Bob. I'm a tomato, and I'm here to help you.
(Junior's toy chest starts rattling)
Junior: There's something in my toy chest! It's a- It's a- (Larry pops out with a bonnet on his head) ... baby pickle?
Bob: It's a cucumber.

Bob the Tomato: Look up at that window. What do you see?
Junior Asparagus: My curtains.
Bob: No! Out the window, up in the sky.
Junior: I see lots of stars.
Larry the Cucumber: God made all those stars out of nothing, he just went, (razzes), and there they were.

Scallion #1: Daniel, because you violated Section 4219 2R9-4000 6 dot 1 dash 7, B, of the code of Babylon, forbidding prayer to anyone but King Darius- you are hereby sentenced to be consumed by the lions. Goodbye!
Daniel (Larry): Hey, didn't get I get a phone (The Scallions tosses him in) caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaallllll!

(The wisemen (The Scallions) have thrown Daniel, portrayed by Larry, into the lions' den)
Scallion #2: Hey, Daniel! We know you're gonna have fun down there! We're not "lion"!
Scallion #3: Uh, yeah, you better be "lion" down, because those lions are gonna... lie... on you!
Scallion #2: (to Scallion #3) Mine was funny, yours was... goofy. Lions are gonna lie on him? They're gonna EAT him! They're not gonna LIE on him!
Scallion #3: Well, maybe they'll lie on him first, and then eat him... or maybe one will lie on him while the others eat him... or maybe they'll take turns between lying and eating-
Scallion #2: Yeah, you think the lions are gonna cooperate and say "Hey, I'll eat him, you lie on him"? Come on, we're the ones who are lyin', not the lions. (seals the den up)

Daniel (Larry): (singing) Oh no, what am I gonna do? It looks like I'm gonna end up as lion stew!

Bob the Tomato: God made you special, and He loves you very much. (closing line of most episodes)

God Wants Me to Forgive Them!?!

(Tom and Rosie begin slinging nonsensical insults at each other)
Tom Grape: Hey! What'd you do that for?
Rosie Grape: I didn't do it! You did, ya big possum head!
Tom: I did not, you taco salad rabbit nose!
Rosie: You did too, casserole-head, pimento-loaf, iguana boy!
Tom: Pa!
Pa Grape: Now, Rose, apologize to your brother.
Rosie: Huh? What for?
Pa: Well, you know he just turned 18 years old.
Rosie: Yeah, so?
Pa: So that would make him a casserole-head, pimento-loaf, iguana man!
Rosie: Oh, yeah, sorry about that, (under breath) cabbage-nosed Elvis puppy.
Tom: Yeah, and don't you forget it!

Bob the Tomato: Boy, I sure am glad they got that straightened out.
Larry the Cucumber: Yep, the grapes were really sorry this time, so once again, Junior forgave them.
(The scenes cuts back to the story)
Junior Asparagus: (angrily) What?!
Larry (voice-over): I said, "once again, Junior forgave them."
Junior: Are you serious?!?
(The scene cuts back to the Countertop)
Larry: Well, I think so. Bob am I serious?
Bob: Oh yeah, Larry. Yeah, y-you're serious. Mmm-hmm.
(The scene cuts back to the story)
Junior: I'm supposed to forgive them again? After what they just did to me?!
(The scene cuts back to the Countertop)
Larry: Well, uh... yeah.
(The scene cuts back to the story)
Junior: Sure, I forgave them for calling me "Bean Boy" and saying I had cheese on my head. But now they're making fun of my name and they laughed when the hoe almost smacked my face clean off, and then the truck picked me up and threw me in the sand! And you're telling me, I'm supposed to forgive them AGAIN!?!

Bob: Well, does anybody know what 70 × 7 is?
Ma Grape: Nine?
Pa: Let's see, I remember from college, it was, uh... πr... oy!

(Bob and Larry begin to tell the tale of "Larry's Lagoon")
Bob (voice-over): I remember that day, that fateful trip.
Larry (voice-over): Why, yes. It started from that tropic port, aboard our tiny ship.
Bob (voice-over): Now Larry, he was a mighty sailin' man.
Larry (voice-over): And Bob, he was brave and sure.
Bob (voice-over): And weren't there five passengers booked that day, on our three-hour tour?
Larry (voice-over): Ah, yes... our three-hour tour.
Bob (voice-over): There was the Professor.
Larry (voice-over): And we were there.
Bob (voice-over): Of course. And the millionaire.
Larry (voice-over): And his wife.
Bob (voice-over): Yep. And wasn't there a movie star and that other girl?
Larry (voice-over): Yeah, but they cancelled.

(First-mate Larry is now at the wheel of the boat)
Larry (voice-over): Oh, boy. This is the life. There's nothing I'd rather be than First-mate Larry. Well, nothing, that is, except... (with a fake Russian accent) Captain Larry Romanoff, the famous Russian icebreaker pilot. Today, Captain Larry must free whales. Two great whales trapped in ice. But, there is problem! A large iceberg stands between Captain Larry and whales. There may not be enough time to go around it! But surely, even Captain Larry is not brave enough to smash through the iceberg! NO ONE HAS EVER DONE SUCH A THING!! (Captain Larry sets the boat to maximum speed and steers toward the huge iceberg) Yes, this is no time for cowards! Captain Larry will smash the iceberg, and free the whales! (Commander Boblov arrives) Ah, Commander Boblov has come to congratulate Captain Larry for his bravery.
(First-mate Larry's daydream ends, and Commander Boblov changes back to Skipper Bob)
Bob: Hey, Larry. We're making snow cones back there. Do you want peach or strawberry?
Larry: Um, not now, Bob. First, I have to smash through this iceberg and free some whales.
Bob: (incredulously) There are no icebergs around here.
Larry: Well then, what do you call that?
(The boat is racing directly towards a large rock. Skipper Bob and First-mate Larry both scream in horror simultaneously as the boat crashes on the rock, flinging Skipper Bob, First-mate Larry and the passengers onto the beach of a tropical island)
Lovey Asparagus: Oh, the brochure didn't say anything about layovers.
Archibald Asparagus: Well, you see, Lovey, I believe we had some sort of an accident.
Bob: Yes, we most certainly had an accident, (angrily turns to Larry) and I think someone has some explaining to do.
Larry: Well, you see, there were these whales, and they were stuck on the ice, and the only way to get 'em out was to smash that iceberg over there, except it turned out to be a rock, and rocks are a lot harder than icebergs.
Dad Asparagus: It just so happens that the nearest iceberg is 2,640 miles away. What were you thinking?
Bob: You smashed our boat! Now what're we gonna do?
Lovey: You've ruined our vacation. What do you have to say for yourself?
Larry: Um... I'm sorry? (brightly) At least the boat's still floating. (The boat sinks immediately and Larry frowns guiltily) Oh.
Archibald: (annoyed) Alright, I'll need to call my broker. I'm going to look for a phone.
Bob (voice-over): That evening, we all worked together to build some huts to sleep in, but we were still pretty mad at Larry.

(Inside one of the huts, Bob and Larry are laying in their beds)
Larry: Gee, it's kinda nice out here. Maybe this isn't so bad after all, Huh Bob?
Bob: (still annoyed) Not so bad? What do you mean "Not so bad"?! Our boat is at the bottom of the ocean and we're stuck on this island, in the middle of nowhere, with no way to get home!!!
Larry: I said I was "sorry". At least you could forgive me.
Bob: Well it's just that we're - well, can't you see we're I just I just. can't!! (turns away) Oh!!
Larry: I said I was "sorry".
Bob: Well, that's just not good enough. Good night. (turns to sleep)
Larry: Not good enough? Not good enough?! He means-He means I'm not good enough. They all think I'm not good enough. I bet they be happier if I just left. So that's what I'll do. (climbs out of bed) I'm just gonna-gonna take my things and just go away, Yeah. (looks for those, but didn't see them) I don't have any things, so I'll just go. With just my hat. (hops out) Goodbye Bob, I hope you find a first mate that's good enough. (he sadly hops away)

Are You My Neighbor?

(Bob and Larry beam into Junior's bedroom via spaceship)
Junior Asparagus: Ah. Who are you?
Bob the Tomato: I'm Bob. I'm a tomato, and I need your help!
Junior: Whoa... Déjà vu. (notices the chocolate bar stuck on Larry's helmet) Um... what's he got on his space helmet?
Bob: Huh? What do you mean? (notices it as well) Larry!
Larry the Cucumber: What?
Bob: How times have I told you not to eat when you're wearing your helmet?
Larry: Oh. Sorry. (tries shaking and biting it off, then nudges it off)

Jimmy Gourd: You know, sometimes differences can be good... if we just take the time to get to know each other.
Junior: Yeah, maybe. So, why do you eat so much?
Jimmy: Uh, we're hungry, I guess.
Jerry Gourd: It's our metabolism or something.
Jimmy: You know, sometimes I think I could eat a whole bus!
Jerry: Yeah? Well, sometimes I think I could eat a whole spaceship!
Jimmy: Oh, yeah? Well, sometimes I think I could eat a whole PLANET!
(The word "planet" echoes in Junior's brain)
Junior: Scooter, how many escape pods d'you say there were?
Scooter Carrot: Two!
Junior: Jimmy! Did you mean what you said about eating a whole planet?
Jimmy: Well, sure, but...
Junior: (cutting Jimmy off) How'd you guys like to save the ship?
Jimmy: Well, gosh, that'd be swell!

Scooter: Do you think it's possible?
Junior: If anyone can do it, they can.

Rack, Shack & Benny

Grandpa George: Heh! The Nezzer Chocolate Bunny! Everyday, they make 14,638 of these li'l fellers, give or take a few. Oh yeah, Mr. Nezzer! Nebby K. Nezzer. But you better call him Mr. Nezzer. Now, Mr. Nezzer's not a bad man, he just gets confused sometimes. Why, his chocolate bunnies are sellin' so well, I think he's gotten a little big for his britches. And that's saying something, so his britches'll break out to start out with. What's all that have to do with Rack, Shack & Benny? Well, their troubles started when Mr. Nezzer made a little announcement.
(A bell with a similar sound to a school bell rings, and a TV monitor lowers from the ceiling. Mr. Nezzer appears on the screen)
Mr. Nezzer: Attention, little people! I have an announcement! This morning, the Nezzer Chocolate Factory has shipped its two-millionth chocolate bunny! To celebrate this momentous occasion, for the next 30 minutes, everyone may eat as many bunnies they want! Bon appétit!
Mr. Lunt: (operating the TV camera) Hey, boss, that's awfully nice of you to give away all those bunnies.
Mr. Nezzer: Oh, if I could just see the looks on their faces right now. (takes a rest)

(Rack, Shack & Benny are the only ones in the factory not lying ill from eating too much chocolate)
Mr. Nezzer: Everybody else is lying down, but you three are standing up.
Mr. Lunt: Actually, boss, I think the tomato is sitting.
Rack (Bob the Tomato): I'm standing.
Mr. Lunt: Sitting.
Rack: Look, (flattens) this is sitting... (stretches) and this is standing. I'm standing.
Mr. Lunt: Okay, he's standing.
Mr. Nezzer: What're your names, boys?
Rack: I'm Shadrach.
Shack (Junior Asparagus) I'm Meshach.
Benny (Larry the Cucumber): I'm Abumblebee... Abennyboo... I'm Benny.

(Having finished demonstrating "The Bunny Song", Mr. Nezzer looks to the boys for feedback)
Mr. Nezzer: Well? What do you think?
Rack: Um... what would happen, let's say, if someone didn't quite agree with everything in that song, so they, um... didn't sing it? What would happen?
Mr. Nezzer: What's that over there?
Shack: That's the furnace.
Mr. Nezzer: What's it for?
Benny: Well, that's where the bad bunnies go.
Mr. Nezzer: And let's just say, in my mind, if you don't bow down and sing the song, you're a BAD bunny.
Rack: (unnerved) You don't mean...?
Mr. Nezzer: But I'm sure that won't happen. It's almost time for the ceremony. I'll see you out there.

(Everyone, except Rack, Shack and Benny, bows down as the intro music to "The Bunny Song" plays)
Mr. Lunt: (notices that Rack, Shack and Benny aren't bowing) Hey, boss? Those three guys, they don't look like they're bowing.
Mr. Nezzer: (confused) Hmm... aren't those our new Junior Executives?
Mr. Lunt: I think so. Maybe they're stuck.
Mr. Nezzer: Let's find out. (moves the podium over to Rack, Shack and Benny) I said, it's time to sing "The Bunny Song."
(The factory's delivery girl, Laura Carrot, notices the situation)
Laura: Come on, guys, sing the song! Everybody's doing it.
Mr. Nezzer: (with increasing frustration) Sing the song!
Mr. Lunt: They ain't singing, boss.
Mr. Nezzer: (finally on the brink of losing his temper) SING!!!!!
(Shack begins singing "Think Of Me")
Mr. Nezzer: Is that "The Bunny Song?"
Mr. Lunt: (skeptical) No, I don't think so.
Laura: (worried) Are you crazy? That's the wrong song!
(Shack keeps singing. Rack and Benny join in on the last verse)
Mr. Nezzer: (touched) Oh, that was wonderful. I'm gonna be singing that song myself... (suddenly angry) as I throw you into the furnace! GUARDS!!! (Rack, Shack and Benny are shocked) Seize them! Take them to the furnace.
(A band of carrot guards approach Rack, Shack and Benny)
Laura: I've gotta help them. But how?
(Laura sees her flying delivery truck and approaches it as the scene fades out)
Grandpa George: (off-camera) Rack, Shack and Benny will be right back, after this short break.

(Rack, Shack and Benny are nearly dumped in the furnace, but Laura saves them, and puts them in her flying delivery truck)
Laura: Sorry, sir! Can't let you cook my buddies!
Mr. Nezzer: GUARDS! Get them!
(Two carrot guards jump into their own flying vehicles)
Laura: Hang on, guys!

Dave And the Giant Pickle

(A sheep falls over by Jimmy)
Jimmy Gourd: Oh, Dave! One of my sheep fell over! Will you come pick it up for me?
Dave (Junior Asparagus): (struggling to pick up another sheep) I'm kinda busy right now.
Jimmy: (miffed) Do you remember the time we dipped you in tar and stuck you to the backside of an angry water buffalo?
Dave: I'll be right there!
(Another sheep falls over by Tom)
Tom Grape: Hey, Dave! One of my sheep fell, too!
Dave: Just a minute!
(Jerry knocks over a row of sheep)
Jerry Gourd: (smugly) Oh, look! All of my sheep fell over. Dave!!
Jimmy: Oh, Dave! After you pick up our sheep, could you run and get me a bite to eat? I'm famished!
Jerry: Oh, yeah! Me, too! Get me something, too!
Jimmy: You know, sometimes I think I could eat a whole camel!
Jerry: Oh, yeah? Well, sometimes I think I could eat a whole spaceship!
Jimmy: (confused) Uh, what's a spaceship?
Jerry: I have no idea.

(The Philistines, portrayed by the French Peas, are taunting the Israelites from across the battlefield)
Jean-Claude: Hello, Israelites! You are pigs, and soon we will put apples in your mouths and stick you in our toaster ovens! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
Christophe: Ah, yes, after we defeat you, you will be our slaves and you will have to fetch us our slippers.
Jean-Claude: Yes, and iron our trousers!
Christophe: Ho-ho, and wipe our little noses.
Jean-Claude: Ha-ha, and scratch that spot on our backs that we cannot reach no matter how hard we try. Ha! (no response from the Israelites) Don't you have anything to say?
Jimmy: Um... Do you guys have any fried chicken? I've got a real hankering for fried chicken.
Jerry: Yeah, me, too!
Jean-Claude: (to Christophe) This is going to be easier than we thought.

Goliath: Who will fight me?!
Dave: I will fight you, Goliath!
Jimmy: (to Tom and Jerry) You know, if I didn't know better, I'd say that sounded like Dave!
Tom: (laughs) Well, yeah! (spots Dave running out onto the battlefield) You know, if I didn't know better, I'd say that looks like Dave!
Dave's Brothers: (shocked) Huh?! (Dave smiles at his brothers) DAVE?! (Jimmy faints)
Bob the Tomato: (narrating) Goliath was equally surprised.
Goliath: Who said that?
Dave: (clears throat) I did!
Goliath: Huh? (sees Dave) Oh ho ho! Am I a dog that you come at me with sticks?
(Philistines laugh)
Dave: I don't exactly know what you mean, but you are not a dog! You're just a really big guy who wants to beat me up! And I come at you not with sticks, but in the name of the God of Israel, who this day will help me defeat you!
Goliath: We will see who defeats who! Now we fight!
Jean-Claude: It's showtime!

The Toy That Saved Christmas

(The Veggie kids watch intently as a TV commercial plays)
Wally P. Nezzer: (dressed as Santa Claus) Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas! Hey kids, do you have the "don't know what I want for Christmas" blues? If I know my toys, and you know I do, than I know just what you're looking for. You want a toy that's fun. You want a toy that's cute. Most importantly, you want a toy with a fully-functioning buzzsaw in his right hand. That's right, you want Buzz-Saw Louie!
(camera shows the toy and demonstrates the buzzsaw)
Mr. Nezzer: Cool, huh? But wait, there's more! Buzz-Saw Louie also knows the true meaning of Christmas. All you have to do is push his nose and... (presses the Louie's nose)
Buzzsaw Louie: Christmas is when you get stuff! You need more toys!
Mr. Nezzer: Getting your own doll is easy. Just have your parents place an order, and one of our trained penguins will deliver it right to your door.
Announcer: Delivery not available to Pugslyville due to the collapse of the Pugslyville Bridge.
Mr. Nezzer: So take it from me, Mr. Nezzer... I mean, Santa Claus and his little elf helper.
Mr Lunt: (wearing pointed ears and hat) Look at me, I'm an elf!
Mr. Nezzer: You just won't be happy until you have Buzz-Saw Louie, the only toy with a working buzzsaw and the true meaning of Christmas.
Buzzsaw Louie: Billy has more toys than you.

(The commercial ends, and the Veggie kids run home to beg their parents for more toys)
Junior: (crying) Mom! Mom! We need more toys!
Percy: Billy has more toys than me!
Dad Pea: Who's Billy?
Percy: I dunno, but he has more toys than me!
Laura: (whines loudly) I want a Buzz-Saw Louie!
Lenny: I want ten Buzz-Saw Louies!
Laura and Lenny: Cuz that's the true meaning of Christmas! (crying)

(Bob is lying upside down in a snow pile after crashing in Junior's sled)
Larry: Bob, Bob! Are you okay!?
Bob: Mouse Trap!
Larry: Huh?
Bob: I wanted to play Mouse Trap! You roll your dice, you move your mice. Nobody gets hurt.

(Mr. Nezzer is about to send Bob, Larry, Junior, and Louie over the broken Puggslyville bridge)
Mr. Nezzer: One more thing. If those parents really care about the true meaning of Christmas, where are they now?
Dad Asparagus: We're right here!
Mr. Nezzer: Huh? (turns to see the Veggie parents and their kids glaring back)
Dad Asparagus: We care much about the true meaning of Christmas, Mr. Nezzer!
Dad Carrot: That's what we came here... to give you what you deserve!
Mr. Nezzer: Wha-wha-oh! You didn't really think I was going to... heh... oh, that was just... just a joke! I wouldn't... What are you going to do?
(Laura confronts to Mr. Nezzer, now with a happy face, handing him a present.)
Laura: Mr. Nezzer... Merry Christmas!
Mr. Nezzer: Huh? Is that for me? Oh, it's a little bear! Oh, I always wanted a Christmas present, but we were too poor! You don't know how happy this makes me! Look! Isn't it cute!

Very Silly Songs

Larry: Hi kids. I'm Larry the Cucumber. Welcome to the very first VeggieTales home-improvement video. I hope you're ready to monkey wrench. I know I am. (hops over to the sink) What we're going to do today is change this old leaky fixture on the sink. We're going to replace it with a new one, which will be quite attractive and last for years to come. Oh, and by the way, it's very important with any plumbing job to shut off the water supply. So I had my assistant Jimmy turn off the water to the kitchen. (twists the wrench)
Jimmy: Oh... you meant the kitchen sink. (faucet explodes and sends Larry flying in a blast of water) I thought we were working on bathrooms and decks.
Larry: Boooooob!

Larry: Hi kids. I'm Larry the Cucumber. Welcome to the very first VeggieTales success video. Are you ready to make millions of dollars in real-estate with no money down? I know I am.
Larry: Yeah, Bob?
Bob: Don't you see? This is a sing-along video!
Larry: Ohhhhh, a sing-along video. I like sing-along videos. That's when you put the words at the bottom of the screen so people can sing along at home, right?
Bob: Yup.
Larry: Oh, the kids are gonna love that. What song should we do first?
Bob: (rolls his eyes since the show's almost over) Never mind. (leaves)
Larry: What? (follows Bob) Hey Bob! Guess what? I bought a whole chocolate factory with no money down.
Bob: You did what?

LarryBoy! And the Fib From Outer Space

Dad: (after Junior sings "It's Laura's Fault") Oh... My. Well if that's what you say happened, well, I trust you, Junior. But I'm very surprised at Laura. I'm gonna have to call her father right away.

(Larry and Alfred are playing Candy Land, stomach growling)
Larry: I'm still stuck in the Molasses Swamp. I've been here for 38 turns. Your turn, Alfred.
Alfred (Archibald): Right, let's see. (draws a card) Oh, look! I get to go all the way to Princess Lolly! What luck! HA! Your turn.
Larry: (draws a card) Still stuck. I sure hope the rest of Bumblyburg is having more fun than I am.
(Larry looks out the window to see the Larry-Signal flashing urgently. He and Alfred immediately stand up)
Larry: Alfred, I've got work to do. Consider our game... postponed.

(Passes by Junior and Fib to Percy, Laura and Lenny confront Junior)
Laura: There he is!
Junior: Hi, guys.
Fib: (runs into a nearby alleyway) Uh, if you need me I'll be over here.
Junior: Huh? (he looks to Laura, Lenny and Percy)
(they argue about Junior's lies in unison)
Percy: Lenny says he didn't break the plate. Laura says she didn't break the plate.
Laura: Lies!
Percy: It's a great, big, ugly lie!
Lenny: Junior!
Junior: No, no, that's not what I said at all. You didn't break the plate, and you didn't break the plate! No. It was these space aliens. They came down, and they grabbed these cows. And they switched brains with the cows. And the cows... with the brains of the space aliens... broke... the plate! (Looks at his friends)
Percy: Funny. I've just seen that same thing happen in a movie. "Invasion of the Cow Snatchers!"
Junior: You did?
Percy: It's another lie! (a sound of thunderous footsteps emerge while Percy talks) Nothing but a big... fat... ugly!
Junior: Huh? (looks up in fear) F-F-F-F-F-Fib?!
Fib: Hi, Junior! (he grabs him)
Junior: (being grabbed) What are you doing?
Fib: Don't worry, Junior. A little fib couldn't hurt anybody. Right?! (Fib cackles)

LarryBoy: Alfred! I'm going to run out of road! Which button is it?!
Alfred: The blue button! Press the blue button!
(LarryBoy presses the blue button and wipers pop out)
LarryBoy: Wipers!
Alfred: (stressed out) The green button! It's the green one!
(LarryBoy hits it and the horn sound off)
(Cut to Percy and Laura)
Laura: He's honking.
Percy: It's part of the plan.
(The LarryMobile is about to hit the water tower)
LarryBoy: I am going to die!
Alfred: Stop yelling at me! No yelling! Yell, yell... YELLOW!

(The Fib has captured Junior Asparagus and is preparing to eat LarryBoy)
The Fib: Hmmmm... sort of looks like candy.
LarryBoy: No really! It's spandex! It's quite bitter! ALFRED!
Alfred: I'm getting a reading!
LarryBoy: Alfred!
Alfred: It looks like...! It looks like...! (accidentally unplugs the LarryComputer in panic and screams)
LarryBoy: Alfred?! What's happening?
Alfred: (plugs in the computer and watches it warm up) Boot, you transistorized tormentor! BOOT!
LarryBoy: Good bye, Bumblyburg! (gets eaten)
Alfred: (sees the results) It's Junior! It's Junior! Junior can stop the Lie!
Junior: I did it! I broke the plate!

LarryBoy: I am that hero!

Josh And the Big Wall

(The defenders of Jericho, played by the French Peas, are taunting the Israelites from atop the city's great wall)
Josh (Larry the Cucumber): Who are you?
Jean-Claude: Who are we? I think we should ask. Who are you?
Josh: Oh, um... I am Joshua. And these are the children of Israel.
Philippe: Ooh! Hello, children!
Jimmy Gourd: Hi!
Philippe: It was nice to meet you. Now go away!
Jean-Claude: Yes! (blows raspberry)
Josh: (clears throat) No, you don't understand. God has given us this land for our new home. So, well... you're gonna have to leave.
Philippe: (laughs) Did you hear that, Jean-Claude? The little pickle says we have to leave!
Josh: I'm a cucumber.
Jean-Claude: (laughs) That is hilarious! (clears throat) Let me point something out to you, pickle. We have a wall!
Philippe: Uh-huh.
Jean-Claude: You do not!
Philippe: No!
Jean-Claude: If anyone is to be doing the leaving, it will be you!
Philippe: Oh, that is right!
Josh: Now, listen to me! Our God said that this land was ours, and that all we had to do was follow His directions. So, I'm afraid... if you don't come out, we're gonna have to come in there after you!
(Jean-Claude and Philippe laugh)
Jean-Claude: I'd like to see you try! You could never get over our giant wall, (under breath) tiny pickle!
Philippe: Yes, tiny pickle! You are not a mighty dill, you are just a baby gherkin!
Josh: (feeling insulted) I'm a cucumber!
(Jean-Claude and Philippe laugh)
Philippe: (bumps his slushie off the edge) Ooh! My slushie!
(The slushie hits Jimmy on the head. Josh is appalled)
Jimmy: (frustrated) Maybe we should fall back and regroup.

(Discouraged by the giant walls of Jericho, the Israelites discuss plans over a campfire)
Tom Grape: That's a big wall!
Pa Grape: This time, I really mean it! We should go back to Egypt. (everybody looks at him in disbelief) Don't you remember? Snorkeling in the Nile? Three square meals a day? Plenty of exercise? Oh, it was paradise!
Tom: We were in slavery.
Pa: Nothing is perfect.
Jimmy: Listen, kids! That land is rightfully ours! And the only way we're gonna get it is by taking down that wall! Right, Jerry?
Jerry Gourd: Uh, yeah. Th-That's right, Jimmy.
Jimmy: So Jerry and I are gonna put our heads together and come up with a plan... to take down the wall!
Jerry: Yeah!
Pa: They are so aggressive.

(Josh finishes explaining God's directions to the Israelites)
Jimmy: So... we're supposed to hop around the city for seven days, blow our little horns, yell, and the walls are just gonna fall down.
Josh: Yep. Those are God's directions.
Jimmy: Well... I'm sure that would work great... if the walls were made out of Jell-O!
Jerry: Ooh! Then we could eat 'em!
Pa: Last call for Egypt! Who's coming with me?
Percy Pea: I will!
Scooter Carrot: Count me in!
Jimmy: Just a minute! I think you'll find our plan a bit more sophisticated. Blowin' horns in the desert isn't gonna do it. What we need is serious firepower. Jerry, the curtain! (Jerry uncovers a tarp to reveal a giant rocket; Scooter, Pa, and Tom gasp in amazement) Behold our creation: the Wallminator 3000! (the Israelites applaud)
Tom: How are we clapping?
Pa: I have no idea.

Tom: Well, Pa? Do you still want to see the pyramids?
Pa: I've seen the pyramids. Ha! I built the pyramids! Let's go to Jericho!

Bob: The next day, they all set off again to march around Jericho. Now, God never said it would be easy. No, the people of Jericho hit 'em with everything they had.
Jean-Claude: Fire one! Fire two!
Bob: But the Israelites remembered that they were following God's directions and they kept on marching. Six days they marched and nothing could stop them. On the seventh day, just like God had told them, they marched around Jericho seven times while the priests blew their horns. (" When the Saints Go Marching In" playing) And just like God said, when they finished marching, the priests blew one long blast and then all the people yelled.
Israelites: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Pa Grape: (hacking)
(birds chirping)
French Peas: (chuckling)
(thud) (rumbling)
French Peas: AHHHH!
(crashing down)
French Peas: (gasp)
Larry: Hello! My name is Joshua, and God has given us this land!
French Peas: (screaming)
Bob: So the Israelites obeyed God and the walls fell down.
Junior: Wow!
Bob: Finally, after 40 years, they were in their new home.
Jimmy: Ow! Oh! Boy, did I pick a lousy day to wear my contacts!

(last lines)
Larry: (yawns) Is it time for the show? (the lights and Qwerty's monitor screen turns off) Aw, nuts.

Madame Blueberry

Bob: Larry. How much stuff do you need to be happy?
Larry: I don't know. How much stuff is there?

Narrator: And now it's time for Silly Songs with Larry, the part of the show where Larry comes out and sings-
Archibald: Just a moment! Wait! Stop talking! (Archibald runs out on stage as a bear-trapped Larry stands and watches) Excuse me, I have an announcement. Ahem... Because of the high standard we on this show strive to adhere to, and as a result of the disastrous outcome of the previous Silly Song, management has decided to review compositions from other performers for this segment. Several artists were screened and we chose one based on the applicant's sense of artistry and all-around proprietary. Thank you.
Larry: So what are you saying?
Archibald: I'm saying that Silly Songs is cancelled until further notice.
Larry: (blinks in disbelief) Oh yeah?! Well, how'm I supposed to get out of this bear trap?
Archibald: I'm sure you'll figure something out.
(Construction peas move a new title card into view)
Narrator: And now it's time for Love Songs with Mr. Lunt, the part of the show where Mr. Lunt comes out and sings a love song.

Madame Blueberry: I am not leaving until I have everything I need to be happy!

Madame Blueberry:(seeing her house about to tip) My house!
Larry: It's so stuffed full of stuff, it's getting too heavy for the tree!
Bob: We've gotta stop those deliveries before it's too late!

[Bob and Larry are crying]
Bob: Oh that was beautiful!
Larry: Hold me Bob!
Bob: I would if I could, man!
Jean Claude: Pull yourselves together!
Phillipe: Yes, you have a show to wrap up!
Bob: Oh, you're right... I'm sorry, where were we?
Larry: [sniffling] Madame Blueberry..!
Bob and Larry: [crying]
Jean Claude: All right! That does it! Cue the music!
Phillipe: Unless, of course, you have any objections...
Bob: No... I don't care... go ahead...

The End of Silliness?

Larry: (sobbing) Bye Silly Songs! Nice knowing ya! (starts singing quietly) It isn't any trouble just to S-M-I-L-E...
Jimmy: Okay, wrong song. Bad timing.

Jimmy: Look. Pal. M-Maybe it's none of my business but...why are you so down? You want to tell me what's going on?
Archibald: (off-screen) I'll tell you what's going on!
(dramatic music)
Archibald: Perhaps this will clear things up... (Archibald and Larry glare at each other for a bit before he selects his song: "His Cheeseburger" from "Madame Blueberry")
Larry: Nooooooooooooo!

(Archibald has just confessed to his cancelling of Silly Songs)
Jimmy: (gasping) You don't mean.
Archibald: Yes! It's my fault! All my fault! I'm the one to blame!
Jimmy: That's despicable. I'd feel that way too if somebody took my songs away.
Archibald: It's just that I was only looking out for the public's best interests. We do have standards to uphold, you know. (Jimmy glares) Yes, I see. But then I got these! (pulls out a stack of signed petitions and reads) "We the undersigned believe that Archibald Asparagus should forgive and forget the Song of the Cebu incident and return Silly Songs with Larry to its original Veggie programming. Signed, 167,512 adoring fans, including, but not limited to, the entire population of Duluth, Minnesota, and even someone in Moose Lake."
Larry: Moose Lake?
Archibald: Yes, Moose Lake.
Larry: Wow... Moose Lake.

Larry Boy and the Rumor Weed

LarryBoy: (emerges from shadow) I believe you have something that belongs to those boys.
Milk Money Bandit (Scallion 3): Well I... (starts backing up, but comes face-to-face) Who are you?
LarryBoy: (sternly) I'm LarryBoy.
(he uses his super suction ear on the Milk Money Bandit and hangs him over the edge)
Milk Money Bandit: Ah! Uh, what are you going to do?
LarryBoy: It's not nice to take people's milk money!
(he turns the Milk Money Bandit upside down)
Milk Money Bandit: Hey! Take it easy, fella! Don't get crazy! (he starts shaking him) HEY!! WHOA!! Ooh! Aah! Ooh! (milk money dropped out of the bandit's pocket and landed back to the peas, and he turns him back up) I ain't feeling so good. (he starts hopping) Hey, hey. Hey! Where are we going? You can't do this! I've got rights! Hey! Hey!
(Officer Scooter standing in front of the police car, the Milk Money Bandit falls in)
Scooter: Aaaaahhhhh!! It's another apace alien! (Milk Money Bandit chuckles nervously) Oh, it's the Milk Money Bandit. We've been looking for you for months. Thanks, Larry-Boy.

The Weed: [sings] I'm a rumor weed! I'm a rumor weed! A tiny little story is all I need to make a big mess! I'm a rumor weed!

Larry: (he sees the Weed on the flowerbed) Hey! You're a weed!
The Weed: That's right, but did you hear about Alfred?
Larry: Oh, Alfred's gonna be mad! He hates weeds in his flowerbed!
The Weed: Yeah, but, did you hear about Alfred?
Larry: You better get out of here, before Alfred comes back!
The Weed: You're not listening to me! Did you hear... Ugh.
Alfred: (off-screen) Master Larry! It's the Mayor! She says it's urgent!
Larry: I'll be right there! (to The Weed) I gotta go. Hold that thought.

LarryBoy: Okay. I can do this. I am after all a super hero. (then he notices the Weed sitting) Oh, look! It's just a little one! (he hops over to the Weed) What was I so nervous about? You've met your match, Weed! I'm gonna take you, and I'm gonna...
(The Mother Weed reveals herself behind him, which made him look up)
LarryBoy: (shocked) Mother!

Alfred: (stops beside Scooter's police car) Oh, yes! Officer, I need your help! LarryBoy is battling a giant weed in the sewer system...
Scooter: Aaaaahhhhh!! The robot! (he starts engine and drives away)

Alfred: I'm not a robot, I'm... British!

LarryBoy: I'm warning you! I'm a super...! (gets thrown against the wall) ...hero.
Mother Weed: Face it! You can't stop this weed; thanks to your friends out there, I'm getting bigger by the minute! HahahahahaMWAHAHAHA!!!
The Weed: Soooo, did you hear the one about Alfred?
LarryBoy: What?

Crowd: What a nice man!
Alfred: Aaaahh!
Mayor Blueberry: We're sorry for thinking that you were a robot.
Mr. Nezzer: We didn't even ask you if it was true!
Alfred: Oh, I forgive you... I forgive you all! (looks around) Has anybody seen LarryBoy?
(A beat-up LarryBoy drags himself out of the sewers by his plunger-ears)
LarryBoy: Hey, Alfred... everyone... someone was telling me that you were a robot- (Everybody shushes him loudly)

King George and the Ducky

Jerry: You want a piece of me?!

King George (Larry): We did it! Oh now now now I'm happy!

King George: What's that?
Melvin (Pa Grape): Its a flannelgraph, to illustrate.
George and Louis (Bob): Ooh! Flannelgraph!

Esther...The Girl Who Became Queen

The King (Mr. Nezzer): Make me a sandwich!

Haman (Mr. Lunt): You get in the wagon! You, bow to me!
Mordecai (Pa Grape): Uh, no!
Haman: Bow!
Mordecai: No!
Haman: BOW!
Mordecai: I bow to no one except my God and my king!

(everyone shocked as Haman says "The Island of Perpetual Tickling")
Teresh: You don't mean...
Bigthen: ...the island where you are tickled day and night...
Teresh: ...night and day...
Bigthen: ...without stop...
Teresh: ...not even if you say "pretty please?!"
Bigthen and Teresh: Aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!

(Mordecai is walking when he spots the edict ordering him to be banished)
Mordecai: Huh? What's this? (reads the edict) OY! (grabs the edict and runs back to the palace) ESSIE!!!! ESSIE! ESSIE!
Esther: Cousin Mordecai? What is it?
Mordecai: Oh, he's done it! He's finally done it!
Esther: Who? Done what?
Mordecai: Look! (shows Esther the edict)
Esther: What's this?
Mordecai: It's an edict! In just a few days, all of us, our whole family, will be sent to the Island of Perpetual Tickling!
Esther: What?! Who... Who did this?
Mordecai: Oh, who do you think? Haman! I told you he hates us! Hates our whole family! And-and now he's done it! He got the King to sign this, and-and we'll all be banished!

Lyle the Kindly Viking

Omelet (Jimmy Gourd): But soft, 'tis Ophelia. (no response; Omelet repeats with emphasis) But soft! Tis Ophelia!
Mr. Lunt: (from off-stage, wearing a pink dress) But I don't wanna do it! It's embarrassing!
Arcibald Asparagus: Don't be ridiculous! It's tradition! In Shakespeare's day, all the women's roles were played by men! (shoves Lunt out onto the stage)
Mr. Lunt: I think we're gonna get letters about this... (in character) 'Tis I, the fair Ophelia.

Percy Pea: You guess where my ships are.
Omelet (Jimmy Gourd): 2B?
Percy Pea: Not 2B.
Omelet: Drat. Uh your turn.

Omelet: To eat or not to eat, that is the question. Whether 'tis nobler to share my eggs cooked light and fluffy, or to scarf down the whole thing myself. And to take "Tums" against a sea of indigestion. To eat, perchance to get a tummy ache! Aye, there's the rub.

Sven (Larry): [sings] I need to go to the bathroom!
Otar (Bob): Uh Sven, you can stop singing now.
Sven: Oh. Right.

Olaf (Mr. Nezzer): (as the storm rolls in) Why, that little viking is in big trouble!

Pa Monk: (after he sees Lyle pummeled in by big waves) Aahh! Lyle's in trouble! We gotta help him. Where's the life ring?
Pea Monk: Right there.
Pa Monk: Hang on, Lyle! (throws) Help is on the way! (notices life ring still there besides him) Huh? What did I throw?

Sven: [sings] If Olaf finds out, you'll be in big trouble!
Otar: Uh, you can just talk.

Olaf: [sings] What do you think you're doing?
Lyle (Junior): I was...
Olaf: [sings] Giving them stuff back?
Lyle: Um, yeah?
Olaf: [sings] Now, there's a storm a-brewing and you're the one that's under attack!

Sven: [sings] You guys go ahead. We'll catch up!
Otar: Uh, Sven? You don't have to sing.
Sven: [sings] But it's a musical!
Otar: Yeah, I know, but you don't have to sing every line in a musical. Talking's okay too.

The Star of Christmas

Millward (Larry): It's Moyer the Destroyer!
Cavis (Bob): Run Millward!

Cavis: Millward, just climbing!
Millward: It's gonna close, Cavis.

Millward: Seymour, remember how you promised me I could take the rocket car for a ride sometime?
Seymour (Pa Grape): Uh ya.
Millward: It's time!

The Ballad of Little Joe

Little Joe (Larry): Okay. No, I still don't see anything.
Jude (Jean Claude): Well then, how about now!
Little Joe (Larry): (he pushes him in the mine shaft) Whoa!

Little Joe (Larry): Hey! Desperados! You better come to your senses! (muffling)

Jude (Jean Claude): Happy trails, dreamer! (all the peas laughing)

Baker and Blacksmith (Jimmy and Jerry Gourd): (mumbling in sleep, screaming)

Banker (Archibald Asparagus): Ah, anyone here? Oh, yes, dear Baker. I have wonderful news! The Mayor has given you a full pardon. He wants you to resume your duties immediately!
Executioner (Scallion 1): And I'm extending an invitation to you, Mr. Blacksmith to join my chain gang up the river! (he laughs an evil laugh and Blacksmith gets terrified, then all exits the scene)

Mayor (Mr. Nezzer): (mumbling in sleep, screaming) It was horrible! Just horrible! And it was so real, like it was really happening!
Banker: Oh, that's sounds dreadful! At any rate, as I was saying about our bank-

Mayor: But what can it mean?! Is there anyone in Dodgeball City who can interpret dreams?!

Mayor: [sings] Seven cows sat on a hill, so big and fat. I got my grill. I was thinking about a BBQ. Then seven scrawny ones came along and GULP..The big fat cows were gone.

Mayor: You did it, Little Joe. He saved the town!

Little Joe (Larry): Yeah...

An Easter Carol

Millward (Larry): Is that one supposed to be me? Because I'm not that fat.

Mr. Nezzer: Its a bug! A big bug!
Hope: Do I look like a bug to you?

Mr. Nezzer: (after looking at the clock) Yep, I'm just going to stay awake. I'm not tired at all. I'm just going to stay wiiidddee....(snores)

Mr. Nezzer: Here we go! 10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2... Hit it!
Cavis (Bob): Aaaaaaaahhhhhh!!!!!!!!
Mr. Nezzer and Cavis: Aaaaaaaaahhhhh!!!!!!
Mr. Nezzer: Whew! We made it!

A Snoodle's Tale

Butterbun (Scooter the Carrot): Your special just the way God made you.

God: And lastly your wings. You know what they're for. But not just to fly, son. I want you to soar!

Sumo of the Opera

Larry: [singing] Whether whether whether whether, whether you like it or not. Weather weather weather weather, weather is cold warm and hot.

St. Patrick: So you see, God is like a shamrock.
People: Oh great shamrock, you are powerful
St. Patrick: No no no! This is simply a metaphor.
People: Oh great metaphor....
St. Patrick: No no no no! God is like a shamrock. Because He is God the father, God the son and God the holy ghost. One God, three persons.

[Telephone busy signal sound effect coming from Bob's phone]
Woman's voice on recording: If you'd like to make a call please hang up and try again. If you need help hang up and then dial your operator.
Bob: Larry? Larry! Oh no, he must have ran out of quarters.

(after Qwerty steamed up and broke down)
Bob: What happened?!
Larry: Qwerty! You okay?!
Lutfi: (pops up) Sorry.
Bob: Lutfi, what did you do?!
Lutfi: Lutfi fits into tiny places.
Bob: You killed Qwerty!
Lutfi: Oh, no, I did not kill him. I just made him sputter in smoke, but there is a difference.
Bob: Well, we're gonna have to get him repaired and we need a verse now! What are we gonna do?
Lutfi: Lutfi might be teensy weensy, but he is a great big helper who knows his scripture memory verses!
Larry: Memory verses?
Lutfi: Oh, yes.

Duke and the Great Pie War

Petunia: Whoops, [laughs] missed the door.
Duke (Larry): Bye, I got my hat now.

Otis: You are lucky Duke, but watch out for yourself this time!
Duke: No Otis! I'm going to look out for someone else first! That's true love!
Otis: That's crazy!

Otis: Ahh! I can't see! [screams, thud]
Duke: We'll be family, Petunia. And I'll take care of you forever.
[Petunia giggles]

Minnesota Cuke and the Search for Samson's Hairbrush

Gordian: Aw this is lame. I don't even like this old playground. I'm going home to play video games.

Martian (Bob): God says "We should love our enemies".
Cuke (Larry): Love our enemies!?

Cuke: One chocolate Malta.
Julia (Petunia): Malt.
Cuke: Ya, chocolate.
Julia: No, it's malt. Malt is a desert, Malta is an island.

Lord of the Beans

Ahem (Mr. Lunt): Its mine I tell you its mine! Give it to me! Give it back!

Scaryman: Ah! Too late! [evil laughter]
Billboy (Archibald): You're wrong, Scaryman!

Scaryman: Sporks! Save me!
Spork: Cookie man say no!
Scaryman: Oh bother.

Billboy (Archibald): Today is my twelvety-twoth birthday. I'm twice as tall as half of you and half as short as twice of you.

Toto (Junior): I want to fix this land.

Sheerluck Holmes and the Golden Ruler

Trout (Mr. Nezzer): Move along!
Spud (Mr. Lunt): Nothing to see here.

LarryBoy and the Bad Apple

LarryBoy: There's nothing wrong with playing video games, but you let this video game play you.
Petunia: I know! I want out!

LarryBoy: Remember kid. With great chocolate comes great responsibility.

Gideon: Tuba Warrior

Gideon (Larry): I'M AFRAID OF THE DARK!
Angle (Pa Grape): To tell you the truth, so am I.
Gideon: [in high-pitched voice] I scream like a girl.

Bob: Wiggle Turtle Tubies? They look taller on TV.
Pea: So do you, tomato!

Moe and the Big Exit

Moe (Larry): High ho sliver away!
Aaron (Archibald): Let my people go!

Narrator: Some matches are made in phosphorus factories, while others are made in heaven. Either way, it all starts with a little chemistry.

Bill (Sheriff's Guards): Heh, Yeah right...
Moe (Larry): I got it! I'll save you, unbelievable!
Bill (Sheriff's Guards): Oof... Ahhhhhh!!!!!!! [splash, gasps, coughs]

The Wonderful Wizard of Ha's

Tin man (Larry): Ohians, and fifers.
Scarecrow (Mr. Lunt): And mares!
Darby (Junior): Oh my!

Lion (Pa Grape): ROAR! Woof!
[Scarecrow, Tin man and Darby running around screaming]
Tin man: It's an Ohian!
Lion: Uh no, that's "lion".
Tin man: Oh, lion. Lion!? Aaaaaahhhh!
Lion: Oh stop! I'm not trying to scare you. I'm just hungry!
Tin man: A hungry lion!? Aaaaahhh!
Lion: No no! I'm not going to eat you. I'm just having fun with you. On the count of being so bored.

Tomato Sawyer and Huckleberry Larry's Big River Rescue

Little Jimmy: [looking at a record album of "Mama Belle and Little Jimmy"] Mama!
Tom (Bob): That's your mama?
Little Jimmy: And me! Little Jimmy!
Huck (Larry): That's you?
[Tom & Huck look at Jimmy seeing he is big now]
Little Jimmy: I grew.

Huck: Beware the babies!

Tom: Who's that guy?
Huck: I think it was Colonel Sanders.

Mr. Lunt: Personally, I found the book riveting, full of flawed characters and classic American humor.

Pistachio – The Little Boy That Woodn't

Carrot: Oh hello cricket!
Khalil: I am not a cricket! I am a caterpillar!
Carrot: Silly cricket.
Pistachio (Junior): Huh? Cricket!?
Khalil: I AM NOT A...Pistachio! You are alive!

Duckling: Quack?
Madame Blueberry: No, I never played Monopoly, but I'll give it a go.

See Also

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