Sacularamacal14

Quotes by me

"I consider myself a part of the Demopendant party (a mixture of the w:Democratic Party (United States) and not being affilated with any political party). That may not make sense to you, but dammit it does to me!"

"Q:What does it mean to be free? A: Not having to be asked what it means to be free."

"The United States was drunk on awesomeness back in 1776, then suffered a SERIOUS hangover in 1929. I expect right about now it's getting a divorce with it's wife for what happened."

"Chuck Norris doesn't play God- oh sorry, wrong quote."

"Q: What came first, the chicken, or the egg? A: Neither, the chicken is a bastard and the egg was created in a lab."

My favorite quotes by other people

"I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize." ~Steven Wright

"I bought a Dictionary, and the first thing I did was look up the word Dictionary, and it said, 'You're an asshole.'" ~Demetri Martin

"I bought some pajamas with pockets in them, which is great because before then I had to hold stuff when I slept." ~Demetri Martin

"I'm scared of sharks, but only in a water situation. If I saw a shark on the street, I'd be like, 'What? Fuck you!' It's like the opposite of how I feel about lions." ~Demetri Martin

"I'm like the opposite of ethnic, I look anti-semitic. This is not the face you'd want to see at the tour of the Holocaust museum. 'He did it!'" ~Jim Gaffigan