This Is the End is a 2013 American apocalyptic comedy film about Seth Rogen, Jay Baruchel and many other celebrities who are faced with the apocalypse, while attending a party at James Franco's house.
- Directed and written by Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg.
- Welcome to Heaven, mothafuckas!
- James Franco: Your mama's pussy was the canvas. Your dad's dick was the paintbrush. Boom. You're the art.
- Jay Baruchel: Thank you, James Franco.
- Seth Rogen: Just answer me one question: Is Michael Cera's butthole as adorable as I pictured?
- Jay Baruchel: Oh for fucks sake...
- Seth Rogen: I picture it looking like a little donut. A little pink sprinkled donut.
- Jonah Hill: [after the group inventories the remaining food] Can I have that Milky Way?
- James Franco: You can't have the Milky Way. It's my special food, I like it.
- Seth Rogen: I want some of the Milky Way!
- Craig Robinson: I'd be pretty bummed if I don't get at least a bite of the Milky Way.
- Emma Watson: [Holding an axe] Back the fuck up!
- James Franco: I'm not gonna shoot Emma Watson!
- Emma Watson: Give me everything you have to drink!
- Seth Rogen: There are six of us! You cannot rob us!
- Emma Watson: [waving an axe] I'm NOT fucking around!
- [Emma leaves]
- Danny McBride: Hermione just stole all of our shit. And Jay suggested that we rape her. I think the only reason he did that is because he knows he's about two minutes away from becoming the house bitch himself.
- Jay Baruchel: Guys, listen listen. I think we need to address the elephant in the room
- Seth Rogen: Whoa, Jay, don't talk about Craig like that.
- Craig Robinson: That's fucked up. I'm right here man.
- Jay Baruchel: I'm not calling Craig an elephant.
- James Franco: That's racist.
- James Franco: Who did this?
- Seth Rogen: Did what? What are you talking about?
- James Franco: Jizzed all over the pages of this nice magazine I was nice enough to tell you about.
- Danny McBride: [Raises hand] It was me, Franco. I fuckin' made jizz in your magazine.
- James Franco: Why?
- Danny McBride: When I fuckin' jack off long enough, I end up jizzin', dude. I'm assuming, the same shit works for you?
- James Franco: Real fuckin' smart answer! Why don't you fuckin' aim, huh?
- Danny McBride: I have a particularly explosive ejaculating that just goes everywhere. It's like a fuckin' wild fireman's hose - you just got to grab on and pray to God it doesn't get into your eyes or your mouth.
- James Franco: The fuck kind of jerking off is that? What, you never had any brothers? You never learned to jizz in a fuckin' sock or on a fuckin' tissue?
- Danny McBride: You think that's the only thing I jerk off on in here? I've been dropping off loads around this fuckin' house like a goddamn dump truck.
- James Franco: You don't cum on my stuff!
- Danny McBride: I'll cum wherever the fuck I want, James! I'll fuckin' cum in your kitchen, I'll cum on your fuckin' art, I'll cum anywhere I want!
- James Franco: I will fuckin' cum right on you! I will cum like a fuckin' madman all over you, McBride!
- Danny McBride: Ooh! I fuckin' wish you'd cum on me right now! I fuckin' dare you to cum on me!
- [Both men exchange masturbation gestures at each other]
- Danny McBride: [Grabbing baseball bat between his legs] I'm gonna jack my dick so fuckin' hard in here...
- James Franco: This, no more, man! All over your fuckin' face!
- Danny McBride: ...All over the fuckin' floor, all over the fuckin' place! I'll cum everywhere!
- James Franco: [Waving gun] No more fuckin' jerking off all over my house, McBride!
- Jay Baruchel: [trying to perform an exorcism] The power of Christ compells you!
- Jonah Hill: [possessed] Guess what? It's not that compelling.
- Seth Rogen: Jesus isn't the name of the Lord. God is the name of the Lord.
- Craig Robinson: Jesus and God. It's all the same.
- Jay Baruchel: It's a trinity.
- Craig Robinson: The Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost.
- James Franco: It's like Neapolitan ice cream.
- James Franco: [debating their worthiness to go to Heaven] We're actors! We bring joy to people's lives!
- Jay Baruchel: Yeah but we don't do it for free. We get paid handsomely, much higher than the average professional.
Note: The entire cast plays fictional versions of themselves.