The Little Rascals (film)

1994 film by Penelope Spheeris

The Little Rascals is a 1994 American comedy film produced by Amblin Entertainment, and released by Universal Pictures on August 5, 1994. The film is an adaptation of Hal Roach's Our Gang, series of short films of the 1920s, 1930s, and 1940s (later broadcast on television as The Little Rascals)


Buckwheat: [delivering Alfalfa's letter to Darla] Dear Darla, I hate your stinking guts. You make me vomit.

The Rascals: [singing] We are he-man woman haters, We feed girls to alligators, Our clubhouse burned down mighty low, But we've got a plan to make some dough! Left, right. Left, right.

[Buckwheat and Porky are at a payphone across from the firehouse]
Buckwheat: Quick! What's the number for 911?
Porky: How should I know?
[They run away leaving the phone off the hook]

Alfalfa: [running through town in only his underwear] Things couldn't possibly get any worse! [runs straight into Butch and Woim] Oh, then the clouds opened up and God said, "I hate you, Alfalfa!"
Woim: Nice tan!
Butch: Any last words?
Alfalfa: Yeah, uh! See ya!

[Alfalfa runs outside where he is chased by a doberman. He leaps into a swimming pool and swims to the other side to escape. As he hoists himself out and rubs water from his face, he suddenly pauses. He looks down and his eyes widen as he sees his underwear floating in the pool. He grabs his underwear and struggles to put it back on.]
Darla: Alfalfa! [Alfalfa turns around to see Darla and Waldo sitting in the nearby hot tub, laughing] This is a side of you I've never seen before!
Alfalfa: Darla! [Darla and Waldo laugh even harder] Darla, there's a perfectly logical explanation for this. [he turns to see Waldo’s Doberman, Fifi, snarling at him] Which I’ll make up later! [he sprints off as Fifi chases him]

Alfalfa: Why am I soaking wet?
Porky: Don't worry, Alfalfa. I used to have the same problem.
The Rascals: (laughing)
Spanky: It's just a hole in the tent.

[Stymie and Spanky are disguised as Amish men and walk into the bank; someone holds the door open for them]
Spanky: Thank you my good man!
Mr. Welling: [writing] Six kids, hardworking father, honest and trustworthy. Loan... denied.
Spanky: Hello, my good man.
Mr. Welling: Gentlemen, uh, have a seat.
Spanky: [to Froggy, who is holding him up under the coat] Can we sit down?
Froggy: Are you kidding?
Spanky: We can't sit down my good man.
Mr. Welling: And what may I do for you?
Stymie: We wanna take out a hefty loan.
Mr. Welling: Course, of course. Do you have an account with us?
Stymie: [nods] And how!
Mr. Welling: What is your account... number?
Spanky: Uh, seven.
Mr. Welling: Seven?... seven?
Froggy: Try eight.
Spanky: Eight?
Mr. Welling: Heard enough.
[Welling pulls the fake beards on Stymie and Spanky]
Spanky and Stymie: Ouch!
Mr. Welling: If you were my kids, I'd punish you!
Stymie: If we were your kids, we'd punish ourselves!
Mr. Welling: Leave the premises post haste!
Spanky: You can't treat people this way, Mister!
Mr. Welling: You're not people, you're kids!

Waldo: We just moved into town. My father bought the oil refinery.
Darla: That explains why you're so refined!
Alfalfa: Yeah, and so oily!
Waldo: [to Alfalfa] Watch it, bud.

Stymie: Porky, you sure know how to make a sand…wich!
Porky: That wasn't sand, that was kitty litter!
Buckwheat: Don't worry, it's pretty fresh.

Buckwheat: Hey, my mom's here!
Porky: [sarcastically] Whoopi!

Stymie: Wood doesn't grow on trees!

Stymie: I… Stymie... Member in good standing of the He-Man Woman Haters Club... Do solemnly swear to be a he-man and hate women and not play with them or talk to them unless I have to. And especially: never fall in love. And if I do, may I die slowly and painfully and suffer for hours - or until I scream bloody murder.
[Porky then recites this with the other Rascals]

[Deleted scene; Butch and Woim attempt to steal the Blur]
Butch: This’ll be like stealin' candy from a baby.
Woim: The last time we stole candy from a baby, we ended up with the chicken pox.

Woim: Nothin' beats a buck and a duck.
Buckwheat: Hey, you dumb duck, queda!
Butch: Hmm. [takes the key from the Blur, but finds it attached to a string] What's this?
[Meanwhile, Woim looks up to see a Rube Goldberg-esque machine hooked up to the key, and whimpers in fear. Butch soon does the same as they are both drenched in pickles and brine]
Butch: Oh, no, not pickles! Oh, yuck!

Buckwheat: [Uh-Huh is inside a smelly garbage can] Hey, Uh-huh. Does it stink in there?
Uh-huh: Uh-huh!

Buckwheat: We got a dollar, we got a dollar, we got a dollar. Hey, hey, hey, hey.

Buckwheat: We're goin’ to the race. We're going to win first place, and you have an ugly face!
[Buckwheat points at Porky; Porky giggles happily]

Alfalfa: [Discovers the list of things to do that Spanky and his friends wrote] Skunked by that sleazy sidewinder Spanky! It's his fault Darla hates me!

A.J. Ferguson: Is that a cowlick, or are you just happy to see me?

Stymie: [to Spanky]: You only make a once in a lifetime buddy. Once in a lifetime.

Spanky: Hey, everybody. Uh-Huh’s learned a new word!
Uh-huh: Actually, I've always had a rather extensive vocabulary, not to mention a phenomenal grasp of grammar and a superlative command of syntax. I simply chose not to employ them.
[Petey barks]
Everyone: Oh tay!! (cheering)
Spanky: Well, I guess things just have to change sometimes.

Spanky: Howdy, Mister. Me and my buddies have to build a new clubhouse.
Stymie: We have buy some lumber.
Lumberyard Clerk: What kind?
Stymie: Wood!

Spanky: Hey!
Froggy: Well, hello, Mr. Bubbles.
Spanky: That's the most disgusting display she-man woman loving I've ever seen!

(the other Rascals agree)

Alfalfa: Don't talk to me, you Benedict Arnold! You-You Judas Priest! This is all your fault!
Spanky: All 'my fault?!
Froggy: You torched the clubhouse.
Spanky: And it's all my fault? Say, you're supposed to be guardin’ the go-cart, you muzak-warbling wimp!
Alfalfa: Re-lax, you double-crossing mud muncher! I parked it right over there! (runs to show the Rascals the go-cart, but it's not there) It was right here.
Spanky: Well, where is it?
Stymie: Boy, you're messin’ up left and right.
  • Spanky: That's it, you sissified tweety bird! I wish I had a club to throw you out of!
  • Rascal 1: Me, too!
  • Alfalfa: Well, you sewage-swinging slime ball!
  • Spanky: (gasps)
  • Alfalfa: If there still was a club, I QUIT!!! Hmph! (storms off)
  • Rascal 2: Good!
  • Rascal 3: What a wimp!
  • Rascal 4: Yeah!

(a bubble comes out of Alfalfa's butt, causing the Rascals to laugh)

(at Spanky's house)

Alfalfa: Is Spanky home?
Mr. McFarland: I'm sorry, Alfalfa. Spanky isn't here.

(at Alfalfa's house)

Mr. Switzer: I'm sorry, Spanky. Alfalfa's not here.
Spanky: Darn!

(at Spanky's house)

Alfalfa: Darn!

Alfalfa: Dear Darla, I hate your stinking guts.



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